First Knight - Part Thirty-Six
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Anakin raised his head and watched as the hundreds of doves that Onara had ordered to be released at the conclusion of the ceremony soared into the air. At first they flew as one, looking like a large pink cloud. Then, groups of them broke off, some flying east, others west, then in all directions.
Anakin watched until they all disappeared. As he lowered his head, he looked around at those gathered at the mausoleum which housed the deceased members of Onara's family. It was a small assemblage. The public funeral had been held the day before in the capital city of the province. Hundreds of thousands of citizens had lined the streets to watch as the carriage bearing the casket of their Dynast had rolled by. The crowd had flung bouquets of flowers and sang sad, lilting songs of farewell.
This small, private ceremony, however, was only for family and close friends. Anakin looked over to where Onara stood between Obi-Wan and Sinja- Bau. Ben was inside the manor sleeping. Obi-Wan once again wore his Jedi clothes and Anakin was glad his master was no longer wearing black. It had made Anakin nervous for some reason. Onara was dressed in the traditional Ahjane colors for mourning. She wore a deep violet gown with long sleeves and an elaborate white headdress.
Anakin was not surprised to see Sinja-Bau standing next to her. Over the least few days, the two women had become very close. Sinja-Bau was wearing native Ahjane clothing similar to Onara's which, Anakin had to admit, suited her. He then recalled his first meeting with her.
She had come to check on his leg. Keria, the young blonde servant girl who had tended him, had just finished wrapping a bacta bandage around his injury when Sinja-Bau entered the room. When she saw Anakin, she stopped for a moment and stared at him, a brief expression of both awe and fear flashing across her face. Anakin felt similarly uneasy, but the ex-Jedi Healer quickly recovered and, upon examining Keria's bandage, had complimented the girl on her work, which had caused Keria to blush. And rather prettily Anakin recalled.
Now he watched as Onara moved from between Obi-Wan and Sinja-Bau towards the mausoleum. She placed her hand on the gray stone and lowered her head. Anakin swallowed, his throat tight. When Onara had been told of her father's death, she had said nothing for a long moment, then had asked to be alone. Whatever tears she had shed, she had shed in private.
Obi-Wan moved next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. She turned and looked up at him. He kissed her forehead, then led her from the tomb where not only K'lia lay, but also Master Eo. Onara had asked Sinja-Bau's permission to bury the Jedi Healer in her family mausoleum for having given his life for her son. Sinja-Bau, as Eo's former master, had the right to give such permission and had. As for Tsara, Anakin had heard that her body had been burned and her ashes scattered to the four winds.
As the rest of those gathered began to move back towards the manor, Anakin noted a tall, dark-haired man dressed in rich, but unpretentious clothing, watching as Obi-Wan and Onara walked towards the manor. Anakin touched the sleeve of Rylea.
"Who is that?" he asked.
"Oh, that's Edress's nephew. Dynast Dalan," she whispered.
Anakin nodded. He had heard that Edress's nephew had been declared the new Dynast of Kindah Province, but had not had a chance to meet him.
"Isn't he handsome?" Gendra remarked as she moved to Anakin's other side.
Anakin shrugged as he walked between the two elderly women. He supposed if he were a girl he would probably think Dynast Dalan handsome. He was not only tall, but the jacket he wore showed off his broad shoulders and trim waist. Thick black lashes surrounded eyes that, unlike most Ahjane, were a deep, rich blue.
"And since he's inherited Jerule's lands as well," Gendra said, "he's now the wealthiest Dynast on Ahjane."
"And quite the catch," Rylea added with a glint in her dark eyes.
"But he's Edress's nephew," Anakin observed, recalling how vile the former Dynast had been and the horrible way he had treated Onara.
"Oh, but Dalan is nothing like his uncle," Gendra said quickly. "He's generous and kind. A true gentleman."
"Yes," Rylea agreed. "A true gentleman. And he's been so considerate to Onara, hasn't he sister?"
"Yes, very. Why he gave her the most wonderful gift as compensation for all the trouble his uncle and Jerule has caused our family," Gendra told Anakin.
"Really?" Anakin said tightly, not sure he liked the idea of anyone giving the woman his master loved gifts.
"Yes," Rylea said. "He gave her a lovely piece of land near the Yovana mountains. There's a beautiful chateau on it, right next to a lake."
Anakin frowned as he watched as Dalan make his way through the people who were gathered around Obi-Wan and Onara, offering her their condolences. Once he reached Onara, he bowed deeply to her. As he rose from his bow, Onara gave him a warm smile. Dalan then turned to Obi-Wan whom, Anakin noted, the Dynast towered over. Obi-Wan bowed to him. The two exchanged some words, Dalan smiling cordially at the Jedi.
As Anakin drew nearer he noted Onara's eyes were bright as she talked with the Dynast, but she had slipped her arm around Obi-Wan's waist and he still had his arm about her shoulder. The three talked for a moment longer, then Dalan bowed to Onara and excused himself.
"Yes, he's quite the catch," Rylea murmured next to him.
Anakin glanced over at her. She saw the expression on his face.
"Well, it's not like it hasn't been discussed," she said defensively.
"Discussed?" Anakin cried. "Onara has discussed this?"
"Oh, no. Not her. But it has been bandied about the Assembly. Or so I've heard. Purely a marriage of state, of course. You see, if Onara and Dalan were to marry, well, it would....it would...
She stopped and looked helplessly over at her sister.
"It would stabilize the region and our planet," Gendra finished. "With K'lia's death, Ben is now Dynast of our province. But he's only a baby. If Onara were to marry Dalan, the two provinces could be joined. Ben would then be heir to one of the largest and richest provinces on Ahjane."
"But Onara loves my master," Anakin blurted out.
"Of course she does," Gendra said soothingly. "But, well, you and your master are returning to Coruscant, are you not?"
Anakin nodded.
"And your master and you will continue to be Jedi, right?"
"Of course," Anakin said.
Gendra touched Anakin's arm. "Please don't misunderstand me. I have a very deep affection and admiration for your master. What he did for Onara, I wish there were words to express how grateful we all are. But, Onara is a young widow and she has a son who will need a father. Unless your master is planning on leaving the Jedi, how can he possibly be here for Ben? Or for her?"
Anakin looked away from Onara's aunts and over to where Obi-Wan was escorting Onara into the manor. Her head was lying against his shoulder as he held her close, but the aunts were right. How could his master continue to be a Jedi and be here for Onara and his son? Then Anakin had a terrible thought. What if, by some chance, Obi-Wan did choose to leave the Jedi Order to remain with Onara and Ben. Where would that leave him?
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"Did she really have a blaster in all four hands, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan nodded, his blue-gray eyes dancing. "And Zaka was sitting there, just as calm as you please, as if he and Auna weren't quickly being surrounded by a mob of angry ice-miners."
Onara laughed. "Oh, I wish I could have met them. They both sound delightful."
"Delightful?" Obi-Wan shook his head and chuckled. "I don't know if I would use the word delightful to describe that pair, but interesting. Yes, most interesting."
The two, along with Ben, who was asleep on a blanket between them, were sitting in the very grove where, all those months ago, they had watched the Katarra dance. Dusk was fast approaching, but Onara wasn't worried. The few valkons who had wandered into the forest from the Larab Mountains had all been killed sometime ago. And, she thought, even if there were any about her Jedi protector was with her.
Onara looked over at Obi-Wan, noting the fine silver streaks in his red- gold hair, the tiny lines about his eyes. So much had happened. So much pain and sorrow and loss that every night, for the past week, when she had lain her head upon her pillows, she had feared she was going to wake and find Obi-Wan gone too. She would then rush from her bedchamber, certain he had left, but she would find him, having arisen and come from the room he shared with Anakin, waiting to have breakfast with her.
But now, the day that Onara had feared was finally upon them. Obi-Wan had received an urgent communiqué from Coruscant, demanding his and Anakin's return. Wanting to spend some of their last day together alone, she and Obi- Wan had taken Ben from the nursery and brought him with them to the Katarra grove.
Onara had not said much while they had sat and played with Ben, too entranced by the story Obi-Wan had told her of his adventures on Lianna and Toola. However, she had sensed that there were some things he was leaving out regarding what had happened, particularly about the Arkanian Douro, but she did not press him on that.
Now, both of them were quiet, the only sounds the whisper of the wind through the trees and Ben's soft breathing. Onara looked down at her son, her heart swelling with joy. Never had she thought she would know such happiness and such grief. Her beloved father was dead, but he continued to live through his grandson who was now Dynast of his province.
Onara had been chosen to serve as Ben's regent until he was of age, but she was fully aware that her son wasn't just a future Dynast. The blood of a Jedi Knight, the blood of the man she loved with all her heart and soul, flowed through his veins and his destiny could just as well lie along another path.
"Onara."
She drew her gaze away from her son and looked over at his father. Obi- Wan's eyes were shadowed, and not just from the darkness that was gathering around them. He reached over and took her hands.
"Do you remember what I told about you my former master? About Qui-Gon?"
Onara nodded slowly, her heart beginning to thud hard in her chest.
"With his dying breath he bade me to train Anakin to become a Jedi Knight. He believed Anakin was the Chosen One, prophesied long ago. The one who was meant to bring balance to the Force."
"And you believe this?"
Obi-Wan lowered his head. He was silent for a time, then looked up at her.
"Qui-Gon believed it. And I believed in Qui-Gon."
Obi-Wan was now gripping Onara's hands so hard it hurt, but she said nothing.
"Before I met you, love," he went on, "there was nothing in my heart but the Jedi Order and the Force. Now, there is more. So much more and my heart...it overflows. It overflows so much it hurts."
"And it's almost as if you can no longer breathe," Onara said softly.
"Yes, yes, that's it," Obi-Wan replied, his eyes filling with tears. "You and Ben...there are no words to express what you both mean to me and yet...I can not...I must not lay down this duty that was placed upon me. You see, Qui-Gon wasn't just my master or my mentor. He was my friend. And he was, in a way, my father."
Obi-Wan looked over at his sleeping son. "Nothing would give me more joy than to stay here with Ben and be a father to him." He looked back at Onara. "And to stay here with you, love. But, I have to return. I must go back to the Jedi Order and complete Anakin's training. Please, love, please, say you understand."
"Oh, my love, I do understand," Onara cried, her voice brimming with tears as she clutched his hands. "And if, by chance, you were to do lay down this duty given to you by your master, whether by your own decision or because, selfishly, I asked you to, then I fear I would no longer love you."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened in surprise and some of the tears brimming in them slipped down his face. Onara smiled and, reaching over, gently stroked them away.
"I would no longer love you," she explained as she leaned over and kissed him, "because you would longer be Obi-Wan Kenobi. You would no longer be the man I fell in love with the night of the blessing ceremony."
She leaned over and kissed him again; then she pulled away and gazed deeply into his eyes.
"Believe me, my love, that what I am about to say to you..." Onara stopped and took a deep breath, then went on. "I would rather throw myself off the slopes of the Larab Mountains then say these words. But I must say them. For your sake and for Anakin's sake. I want you to go back to the Jedi. Not because I do not wish for you to stay with me, for I do. More than anything in this universe. I want you to go because I do not wish for you to become less than what you are. A Jedi Knight."
Obi-Wan stared at Onara for a long moment. Then he gently clasped her face between his hands.
"My dear, sweet love," he sighed. "If only things were not as they are. If only you and I were not who we are. Then I would never leave you. Never. I would stay by your side forever."
"I know you would, Obi-Wan."
"I don't want to leave you!" Obi-Wan suddenly cried as he desperately caressed her face, his hands trembling with the intensity of his emotions. "By the Ancients, I don't!"
"And I don't want you to go," Onara sobbed, tears slipping down her face. "But I don't want to have to share you with the Jedi. I don't want to have to share you with anyone. I want you to be completely and totally mine. Is that selfish of me?"
Obi-Wan smiled and kissed her wet cheeks. "No, love, it's not selfish. And if it is, then I'm selfish too, for I feel the same way."
Obi-Wan gently eased Onara around Ben so that she was now sitting next to him. Their son stirred slightly, but did not awaken. As the air was growing cool, Onara reached into the basket they had brought with them and took out a blanket. She drew it snugly over Ben as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then she turned back to Obi-Wan. He pulled her into his arms and laid her down on the grass next to their sleeping son.
"I've wanted to make love to you so much," he whispered passionately as he began to kiss her hair, her face, her throat. "Every night of this past week I've longed to go to your bedchamber and be with you the way we were on the night of the blessing ceremony."
"And I have longed for you to do so," Onara whispered back.
Their arms about each, they kissed, deeply and passionately, the heat between them growing with each kiss, each breath. But, even as Onara's body longed to be one with his, she knew it was not to be. Not now, possibly not ever.
And, she sensed Obi-Wan knew it too, for he soon pulled away and, rising, drew her up beside him. He put his arm around her shoulder and held her close and, for a long moment, as the sky darkened to a rich purple around them, the trees seeming to meld into the darkness, Onara waited for him to speak, her lips still tingling from the fire and passion of his kisses. Then she heard Obi-Wan sigh.
"Dynast Dalan is a good man," he said softly.
Onara remained quiet, distressed by the direction Obi-Wan was taking the conversation.
"Yes, he is," she finally admitted.
"I understand the Assembly is pressing you to marry him."
Onara's throat tightened. "They are."
Obi-Wan nodded. "It would be a good marriage. Politically speaking. It would stabilize the region and, as a result, all of Ahjane would benefit."
"Yes. And there is much Dalan and I...." Onara stopped and swallowed, "....we could do to help the people of our world. Perhaps, as a result of our efforts, Ahjane would even, finally, be eligible for a seat in the Senate."
Obi-Wan smiled at her. "Ahjane would be a welcome addition to the Senate, Onara. No longer just a protectorate, your planet would receive many benefits from full membership in the Republic."
"I know," she said softly.
She looked down, then felt Obi-Wan's hand on her chin, lifting her face towards his.
"He is a good man, Onara," Obi-Wan repeated gently, his blue-gray eyes looking deep into hers.
"I know he is," she said, the tears flowing down her cheeks. "I know marrying him will help my people. But I do not love him, Obi-Wan. I love you. I will love only you."
"Would you like to hear about a dream I had?" he suddenly asked as he stroked her face.
Onara nodded.
"I had it the other night. You and I were on a planet, but one I'd never been on before. The sky was green and yellow and there were three suns. One large and bright, the others small and dim. And I was a farmer."
"A farmer?" Onara said doubtfully, smiling through her tears.
"What? Can't you see me as a farmer?"
"Well, no, not really."
Obi-Wan grinned. "I could have been one, you know. If Qui-Gon hadn't chosen me to be his Padawan, I would have been assigned to the AgriCorps." Obi-Wan shrugged. "Actually, thinking back on it now, perhaps it wouldn't have been such the horrible life I imagined it was going to be when I was thirteen. Anyway, in my dream I was a farmer."
"And what was I?"
Obi-Wan winked. "What else? A farmer's wife."
Onara punched him in the shoulder, but she was laughing as she did so.
"Was Ben in your dream?" she asked, still smiling.
"Oh, yes. But he wasn't a baby. He was about seven or so. A very handsome lad, if I say so myself. Looked a lot like his father."
Onara smiled and shook her head at him. "And was there anyone else in this bucolic, and somewhat self-congratulatory, dream of yours?"
Obi-Wan frowned slightly. "Yes, or at least I sensed there were others. But I couldn't see them. You and I were walking through the fields, checking on the progress of our crops. Ben was running through the plants. He was chasing or being chased by someone because I heard not only his laughter, but someone else's. A little girl's, I think, but I couldn't see her."
"It sounds like a very nice dream, Obi-Wan."
"Yes, it was. It was very peaceful and full of love. I was disappointed when I woke up and realized it was only a dream."
"But that's all it was, Obi-Wan," Onara said sadly. "Just a dream. You are not a farmer and I am not a farmer's wife. You are a Jedi Knight and I am the mother and regent of a future Dynast."
"And possibly the wife of one?"
Onara stared at Obi-Wan.
"Yes, and possibly the wife of one," she finally said in a low voice.
She looked away from him and down at her lap. "Obi-Wan, if I were to marry again would you...would you stay for the marriage rite? Like you did the last time?"
"Would there be a blessing ceremony afterwards?" Obi-Wan asked teasingly.
Onara looked up and blushed, shaking her head. "There is no longer a need for one."
Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "Then, no, love, I would not stay. I do not think I could bear to see you given to someone else. Not this time. But, before I left, I would wish you and Dalan all the happiness in the world."
Onara moaned softly, the pain of Obi-Wan's words like an explosion in her chest. No, not again, she thought tearfully. Why did she, once again, have to put her duty to her people above the needs of her own heart? Why could she not be with and marry the man she loved?
It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. Then, no longer able to contain the grief she had kept to herself over the deaths of her beloved father and the gentle Master Eo and now, the looming loss of her one and only love, Onara dropped her face into her hands and wept, the sobs wracking her body.
Quickly pulling her to him, Obi-Wan held her tightly, held her even as the stars came out and the moon sailed above them, held her even as Ben awoke and gazed quietly at his mother and father as they cried in each other's arms.
To be continued....
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Anakin raised his head and watched as the hundreds of doves that Onara had ordered to be released at the conclusion of the ceremony soared into the air. At first they flew as one, looking like a large pink cloud. Then, groups of them broke off, some flying east, others west, then in all directions.
Anakin watched until they all disappeared. As he lowered his head, he looked around at those gathered at the mausoleum which housed the deceased members of Onara's family. It was a small assemblage. The public funeral had been held the day before in the capital city of the province. Hundreds of thousands of citizens had lined the streets to watch as the carriage bearing the casket of their Dynast had rolled by. The crowd had flung bouquets of flowers and sang sad, lilting songs of farewell.
This small, private ceremony, however, was only for family and close friends. Anakin looked over to where Onara stood between Obi-Wan and Sinja- Bau. Ben was inside the manor sleeping. Obi-Wan once again wore his Jedi clothes and Anakin was glad his master was no longer wearing black. It had made Anakin nervous for some reason. Onara was dressed in the traditional Ahjane colors for mourning. She wore a deep violet gown with long sleeves and an elaborate white headdress.
Anakin was not surprised to see Sinja-Bau standing next to her. Over the least few days, the two women had become very close. Sinja-Bau was wearing native Ahjane clothing similar to Onara's which, Anakin had to admit, suited her. He then recalled his first meeting with her.
She had come to check on his leg. Keria, the young blonde servant girl who had tended him, had just finished wrapping a bacta bandage around his injury when Sinja-Bau entered the room. When she saw Anakin, she stopped for a moment and stared at him, a brief expression of both awe and fear flashing across her face. Anakin felt similarly uneasy, but the ex-Jedi Healer quickly recovered and, upon examining Keria's bandage, had complimented the girl on her work, which had caused Keria to blush. And rather prettily Anakin recalled.
Now he watched as Onara moved from between Obi-Wan and Sinja-Bau towards the mausoleum. She placed her hand on the gray stone and lowered her head. Anakin swallowed, his throat tight. When Onara had been told of her father's death, she had said nothing for a long moment, then had asked to be alone. Whatever tears she had shed, she had shed in private.
Obi-Wan moved next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. She turned and looked up at him. He kissed her forehead, then led her from the tomb where not only K'lia lay, but also Master Eo. Onara had asked Sinja-Bau's permission to bury the Jedi Healer in her family mausoleum for having given his life for her son. Sinja-Bau, as Eo's former master, had the right to give such permission and had. As for Tsara, Anakin had heard that her body had been burned and her ashes scattered to the four winds.
As the rest of those gathered began to move back towards the manor, Anakin noted a tall, dark-haired man dressed in rich, but unpretentious clothing, watching as Obi-Wan and Onara walked towards the manor. Anakin touched the sleeve of Rylea.
"Who is that?" he asked.
"Oh, that's Edress's nephew. Dynast Dalan," she whispered.
Anakin nodded. He had heard that Edress's nephew had been declared the new Dynast of Kindah Province, but had not had a chance to meet him.
"Isn't he handsome?" Gendra remarked as she moved to Anakin's other side.
Anakin shrugged as he walked between the two elderly women. He supposed if he were a girl he would probably think Dynast Dalan handsome. He was not only tall, but the jacket he wore showed off his broad shoulders and trim waist. Thick black lashes surrounded eyes that, unlike most Ahjane, were a deep, rich blue.
"And since he's inherited Jerule's lands as well," Gendra said, "he's now the wealthiest Dynast on Ahjane."
"And quite the catch," Rylea added with a glint in her dark eyes.
"But he's Edress's nephew," Anakin observed, recalling how vile the former Dynast had been and the horrible way he had treated Onara.
"Oh, but Dalan is nothing like his uncle," Gendra said quickly. "He's generous and kind. A true gentleman."
"Yes," Rylea agreed. "A true gentleman. And he's been so considerate to Onara, hasn't he sister?"
"Yes, very. Why he gave her the most wonderful gift as compensation for all the trouble his uncle and Jerule has caused our family," Gendra told Anakin.
"Really?" Anakin said tightly, not sure he liked the idea of anyone giving the woman his master loved gifts.
"Yes," Rylea said. "He gave her a lovely piece of land near the Yovana mountains. There's a beautiful chateau on it, right next to a lake."
Anakin frowned as he watched as Dalan make his way through the people who were gathered around Obi-Wan and Onara, offering her their condolences. Once he reached Onara, he bowed deeply to her. As he rose from his bow, Onara gave him a warm smile. Dalan then turned to Obi-Wan whom, Anakin noted, the Dynast towered over. Obi-Wan bowed to him. The two exchanged some words, Dalan smiling cordially at the Jedi.
As Anakin drew nearer he noted Onara's eyes were bright as she talked with the Dynast, but she had slipped her arm around Obi-Wan's waist and he still had his arm about her shoulder. The three talked for a moment longer, then Dalan bowed to Onara and excused himself.
"Yes, he's quite the catch," Rylea murmured next to him.
Anakin glanced over at her. She saw the expression on his face.
"Well, it's not like it hasn't been discussed," she said defensively.
"Discussed?" Anakin cried. "Onara has discussed this?"
"Oh, no. Not her. But it has been bandied about the Assembly. Or so I've heard. Purely a marriage of state, of course. You see, if Onara and Dalan were to marry, well, it would....it would...
She stopped and looked helplessly over at her sister.
"It would stabilize the region and our planet," Gendra finished. "With K'lia's death, Ben is now Dynast of our province. But he's only a baby. If Onara were to marry Dalan, the two provinces could be joined. Ben would then be heir to one of the largest and richest provinces on Ahjane."
"But Onara loves my master," Anakin blurted out.
"Of course she does," Gendra said soothingly. "But, well, you and your master are returning to Coruscant, are you not?"
Anakin nodded.
"And your master and you will continue to be Jedi, right?"
"Of course," Anakin said.
Gendra touched Anakin's arm. "Please don't misunderstand me. I have a very deep affection and admiration for your master. What he did for Onara, I wish there were words to express how grateful we all are. But, Onara is a young widow and she has a son who will need a father. Unless your master is planning on leaving the Jedi, how can he possibly be here for Ben? Or for her?"
Anakin looked away from Onara's aunts and over to where Obi-Wan was escorting Onara into the manor. Her head was lying against his shoulder as he held her close, but the aunts were right. How could his master continue to be a Jedi and be here for Onara and his son? Then Anakin had a terrible thought. What if, by some chance, Obi-Wan did choose to leave the Jedi Order to remain with Onara and Ben. Where would that leave him?
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"Did she really have a blaster in all four hands, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan nodded, his blue-gray eyes dancing. "And Zaka was sitting there, just as calm as you please, as if he and Auna weren't quickly being surrounded by a mob of angry ice-miners."
Onara laughed. "Oh, I wish I could have met them. They both sound delightful."
"Delightful?" Obi-Wan shook his head and chuckled. "I don't know if I would use the word delightful to describe that pair, but interesting. Yes, most interesting."
The two, along with Ben, who was asleep on a blanket between them, were sitting in the very grove where, all those months ago, they had watched the Katarra dance. Dusk was fast approaching, but Onara wasn't worried. The few valkons who had wandered into the forest from the Larab Mountains had all been killed sometime ago. And, she thought, even if there were any about her Jedi protector was with her.
Onara looked over at Obi-Wan, noting the fine silver streaks in his red- gold hair, the tiny lines about his eyes. So much had happened. So much pain and sorrow and loss that every night, for the past week, when she had lain her head upon her pillows, she had feared she was going to wake and find Obi-Wan gone too. She would then rush from her bedchamber, certain he had left, but she would find him, having arisen and come from the room he shared with Anakin, waiting to have breakfast with her.
But now, the day that Onara had feared was finally upon them. Obi-Wan had received an urgent communiqué from Coruscant, demanding his and Anakin's return. Wanting to spend some of their last day together alone, she and Obi- Wan had taken Ben from the nursery and brought him with them to the Katarra grove.
Onara had not said much while they had sat and played with Ben, too entranced by the story Obi-Wan had told her of his adventures on Lianna and Toola. However, she had sensed that there were some things he was leaving out regarding what had happened, particularly about the Arkanian Douro, but she did not press him on that.
Now, both of them were quiet, the only sounds the whisper of the wind through the trees and Ben's soft breathing. Onara looked down at her son, her heart swelling with joy. Never had she thought she would know such happiness and such grief. Her beloved father was dead, but he continued to live through his grandson who was now Dynast of his province.
Onara had been chosen to serve as Ben's regent until he was of age, but she was fully aware that her son wasn't just a future Dynast. The blood of a Jedi Knight, the blood of the man she loved with all her heart and soul, flowed through his veins and his destiny could just as well lie along another path.
"Onara."
She drew her gaze away from her son and looked over at his father. Obi- Wan's eyes were shadowed, and not just from the darkness that was gathering around them. He reached over and took her hands.
"Do you remember what I told about you my former master? About Qui-Gon?"
Onara nodded slowly, her heart beginning to thud hard in her chest.
"With his dying breath he bade me to train Anakin to become a Jedi Knight. He believed Anakin was the Chosen One, prophesied long ago. The one who was meant to bring balance to the Force."
"And you believe this?"
Obi-Wan lowered his head. He was silent for a time, then looked up at her.
"Qui-Gon believed it. And I believed in Qui-Gon."
Obi-Wan was now gripping Onara's hands so hard it hurt, but she said nothing.
"Before I met you, love," he went on, "there was nothing in my heart but the Jedi Order and the Force. Now, there is more. So much more and my heart...it overflows. It overflows so much it hurts."
"And it's almost as if you can no longer breathe," Onara said softly.
"Yes, yes, that's it," Obi-Wan replied, his eyes filling with tears. "You and Ben...there are no words to express what you both mean to me and yet...I can not...I must not lay down this duty that was placed upon me. You see, Qui-Gon wasn't just my master or my mentor. He was my friend. And he was, in a way, my father."
Obi-Wan looked over at his sleeping son. "Nothing would give me more joy than to stay here with Ben and be a father to him." He looked back at Onara. "And to stay here with you, love. But, I have to return. I must go back to the Jedi Order and complete Anakin's training. Please, love, please, say you understand."
"Oh, my love, I do understand," Onara cried, her voice brimming with tears as she clutched his hands. "And if, by chance, you were to do lay down this duty given to you by your master, whether by your own decision or because, selfishly, I asked you to, then I fear I would no longer love you."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened in surprise and some of the tears brimming in them slipped down his face. Onara smiled and, reaching over, gently stroked them away.
"I would no longer love you," she explained as she leaned over and kissed him, "because you would longer be Obi-Wan Kenobi. You would no longer be the man I fell in love with the night of the blessing ceremony."
She leaned over and kissed him again; then she pulled away and gazed deeply into his eyes.
"Believe me, my love, that what I am about to say to you..." Onara stopped and took a deep breath, then went on. "I would rather throw myself off the slopes of the Larab Mountains then say these words. But I must say them. For your sake and for Anakin's sake. I want you to go back to the Jedi. Not because I do not wish for you to stay with me, for I do. More than anything in this universe. I want you to go because I do not wish for you to become less than what you are. A Jedi Knight."
Obi-Wan stared at Onara for a long moment. Then he gently clasped her face between his hands.
"My dear, sweet love," he sighed. "If only things were not as they are. If only you and I were not who we are. Then I would never leave you. Never. I would stay by your side forever."
"I know you would, Obi-Wan."
"I don't want to leave you!" Obi-Wan suddenly cried as he desperately caressed her face, his hands trembling with the intensity of his emotions. "By the Ancients, I don't!"
"And I don't want you to go," Onara sobbed, tears slipping down her face. "But I don't want to have to share you with the Jedi. I don't want to have to share you with anyone. I want you to be completely and totally mine. Is that selfish of me?"
Obi-Wan smiled and kissed her wet cheeks. "No, love, it's not selfish. And if it is, then I'm selfish too, for I feel the same way."
Obi-Wan gently eased Onara around Ben so that she was now sitting next to him. Their son stirred slightly, but did not awaken. As the air was growing cool, Onara reached into the basket they had brought with them and took out a blanket. She drew it snugly over Ben as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then she turned back to Obi-Wan. He pulled her into his arms and laid her down on the grass next to their sleeping son.
"I've wanted to make love to you so much," he whispered passionately as he began to kiss her hair, her face, her throat. "Every night of this past week I've longed to go to your bedchamber and be with you the way we were on the night of the blessing ceremony."
"And I have longed for you to do so," Onara whispered back.
Their arms about each, they kissed, deeply and passionately, the heat between them growing with each kiss, each breath. But, even as Onara's body longed to be one with his, she knew it was not to be. Not now, possibly not ever.
And, she sensed Obi-Wan knew it too, for he soon pulled away and, rising, drew her up beside him. He put his arm around her shoulder and held her close and, for a long moment, as the sky darkened to a rich purple around them, the trees seeming to meld into the darkness, Onara waited for him to speak, her lips still tingling from the fire and passion of his kisses. Then she heard Obi-Wan sigh.
"Dynast Dalan is a good man," he said softly.
Onara remained quiet, distressed by the direction Obi-Wan was taking the conversation.
"Yes, he is," she finally admitted.
"I understand the Assembly is pressing you to marry him."
Onara's throat tightened. "They are."
Obi-Wan nodded. "It would be a good marriage. Politically speaking. It would stabilize the region and, as a result, all of Ahjane would benefit."
"Yes. And there is much Dalan and I...." Onara stopped and swallowed, "....we could do to help the people of our world. Perhaps, as a result of our efforts, Ahjane would even, finally, be eligible for a seat in the Senate."
Obi-Wan smiled at her. "Ahjane would be a welcome addition to the Senate, Onara. No longer just a protectorate, your planet would receive many benefits from full membership in the Republic."
"I know," she said softly.
She looked down, then felt Obi-Wan's hand on her chin, lifting her face towards his.
"He is a good man, Onara," Obi-Wan repeated gently, his blue-gray eyes looking deep into hers.
"I know he is," she said, the tears flowing down her cheeks. "I know marrying him will help my people. But I do not love him, Obi-Wan. I love you. I will love only you."
"Would you like to hear about a dream I had?" he suddenly asked as he stroked her face.
Onara nodded.
"I had it the other night. You and I were on a planet, but one I'd never been on before. The sky was green and yellow and there were three suns. One large and bright, the others small and dim. And I was a farmer."
"A farmer?" Onara said doubtfully, smiling through her tears.
"What? Can't you see me as a farmer?"
"Well, no, not really."
Obi-Wan grinned. "I could have been one, you know. If Qui-Gon hadn't chosen me to be his Padawan, I would have been assigned to the AgriCorps." Obi-Wan shrugged. "Actually, thinking back on it now, perhaps it wouldn't have been such the horrible life I imagined it was going to be when I was thirteen. Anyway, in my dream I was a farmer."
"And what was I?"
Obi-Wan winked. "What else? A farmer's wife."
Onara punched him in the shoulder, but she was laughing as she did so.
"Was Ben in your dream?" she asked, still smiling.
"Oh, yes. But he wasn't a baby. He was about seven or so. A very handsome lad, if I say so myself. Looked a lot like his father."
Onara smiled and shook her head at him. "And was there anyone else in this bucolic, and somewhat self-congratulatory, dream of yours?"
Obi-Wan frowned slightly. "Yes, or at least I sensed there were others. But I couldn't see them. You and I were walking through the fields, checking on the progress of our crops. Ben was running through the plants. He was chasing or being chased by someone because I heard not only his laughter, but someone else's. A little girl's, I think, but I couldn't see her."
"It sounds like a very nice dream, Obi-Wan."
"Yes, it was. It was very peaceful and full of love. I was disappointed when I woke up and realized it was only a dream."
"But that's all it was, Obi-Wan," Onara said sadly. "Just a dream. You are not a farmer and I am not a farmer's wife. You are a Jedi Knight and I am the mother and regent of a future Dynast."
"And possibly the wife of one?"
Onara stared at Obi-Wan.
"Yes, and possibly the wife of one," she finally said in a low voice.
She looked away from him and down at her lap. "Obi-Wan, if I were to marry again would you...would you stay for the marriage rite? Like you did the last time?"
"Would there be a blessing ceremony afterwards?" Obi-Wan asked teasingly.
Onara looked up and blushed, shaking her head. "There is no longer a need for one."
Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "Then, no, love, I would not stay. I do not think I could bear to see you given to someone else. Not this time. But, before I left, I would wish you and Dalan all the happiness in the world."
Onara moaned softly, the pain of Obi-Wan's words like an explosion in her chest. No, not again, she thought tearfully. Why did she, once again, have to put her duty to her people above the needs of her own heart? Why could she not be with and marry the man she loved?
It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. Then, no longer able to contain the grief she had kept to herself over the deaths of her beloved father and the gentle Master Eo and now, the looming loss of her one and only love, Onara dropped her face into her hands and wept, the sobs wracking her body.
Quickly pulling her to him, Obi-Wan held her tightly, held her even as the stars came out and the moon sailed above them, held her even as Ben awoke and gazed quietly at his mother and father as they cried in each other's arms.
To be continued....