CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
FAMILY IN JEOPARDY
Anakin woke up with an incredible headache. He opened his eyes and saw a big light ball above him. He closed his eyes again trying to avoid the light.
"Turn off that light", a familiar voice said. Now there was just a soft yellow light in the room. "Leave us alon, please", the voice spoke again. They heard a curtain being closed and now they were left alone.
Anakin opened his eyes and brought his hands to his face. Suddenly, he felt cold metal on his skin. He opened his eyes, frightened of this new sensation and realized he had a mechanical right arm.
"What... what is this? What happened?", he asked frightened. Padmé start crying again, and wrapped her arms around Anakin.
"I'm so sorry, Anakin. This is all my fault. You saved me, but it costed you your arm. I should have listen to you when you told me to get out of there...", she explained between sobs.
"Padmé?", Anakin asked disbelieving the whole situation. Padmé lifted her head and looked at his eyes. She nooded as she caressed his face. "What are you doing here?", he asked confused.
"I needed to talk to you, we haven't spoke to each other since you left, and I needed to tell you that you were right, I should've never left Kobby alone with my parents, so I brought him to Courasant with me", she said.
"Padmé, I..."
"No, Ani. You were right, all along. I was so stupid, now because of me you've lost your arm". Padmé felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. Anakin lifted his right hand to clean the tears, but he quickly replaced it with his left hand.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to touch with it", he asid ashamed. Now, nothing would be the same between himself and his family. How couls he touch his wife or his children with that hard and cold fake hand? He didn't even have skin covering it, it was horrible. It seemed that Padmé read his thoughts, because she held his hand tenderly and kissed it.
"It's alright, Ani. I don't mind. The healer says that tomorrow they'll put the skin on, they must se how your body reacts to the arm first, that's all", she said trying to comfort him.
Anakin turned his head to look at the wall, really embarassed. But he realized that this only made Padmé feel worst about what happened, so he looked at her and smiled. Padmé smiled back.
"I'm sorry for leaving you that way, we should've make things up before I came here", he said. Padmé grabbed his hands in hers.
"Ani, I've already forgotten that, don't worry", she said smiling.
"Tell me about the kids, how are they doing?", Anakin asked curious. Padmé entwined her fingers with his and told him everything. But she mentioned something that changed the expression in Anakin's face.
"I can't leave, I have to stay here".
"But Ani, you must get used to your new arm, besides, you are week", she argued.
"I'm not letting this arm stop me from perfoming my duties", he said raising his mechanical arm. Padmé pushed his arm down and grabbed him by the mechanical wrist.
"No way. You are going back to Courasant with me, Anakin. End of discussion", she finished. Anakin released from her grip and sat up.
"No, I'm staying here. I know that I can be of some help, any help is needed in this mission, it's very dangerous, and we are running out of Jedi". Padmé's eyes widened.
"That's what I mean, Anakin. I don't want to loose you for some childish wish you have. Think a little bit, would you? Why are you so blinded? Oh yes, you always have to be the hero, the one that evryone's got to be looking up to", she said in a sarcastic tone. Anakin frowned.
"Well this 'hero' right here as you like to call it, has saved many lives, including yours and our children's. Not to mention the other people in the galaxy, so don't you come here to tell me that this is just a role I like to play to feed up my ego!", he said almost yelling. Padmé looked down and sighed.
"Yes, you're right. I shouldn't have said that", she said almost whispering.
"Well, you always seem to call me names, or say things to me and then take it back, hoping that it will makes things better between us. But I'm getting sick of it, Padmé. You're always treating me like a child, and I'm not a child! I'm 36, you seem to forget that..."
"Ani...", she interrupted. But Anakin didn't let her continue.
"No 'Ani'! you are going to listen to me for once and for all! You are always the mature one, the grown up, the one that's right in everything. And you love to act like that in front of other people, specialy our children! You let them think that your opinion is the one that counts. Every time I ask them to do something with me, they always say 'but daddy, did you ask mommy?'. I'm sick of that, Padmé. I'm sick and tired of being your fifth child. I'm your husband, and I demmand some respect, or at least to be heard". He took a couple of breaths and saw Padmé crying. He softened his tone to continue.
"You know... I try, Padmé. I do my best to be a good father and husband, but you always seem to find something wrong in everything I do or decide. Being a good husband is the most important thing in my life, more than being a father, you know why?". Padmé shook her head. "Because I know that we've done a good job with our children. Also because after our children go on and live their own lives, we'll be left alone. At that point, all we'll have left are each other, and I don't want to be this anoying man that you'll have to be stuck with until we die, or until you won't be able to stand me anymore". Anakin looked down and let a couple of tears come down. "The bottom line is that everything I do, is to make you happy. Please Padmé, trust me this one time, I'm begging you", he pleaded. Padmé stopped her sobbing and looked at Anakin.
"Ani... I'm so soory for what I've been doing in all these years that we have been together. I really appreciate that you just opened your heart like that to tell me all the things you feel...", she said to then lower her head. Anakin turned his head to look at the wall.
"But...?", he said. Padmé raised her head to look at him.
"What you are asking me to do here, is to let you stay here and die, and you know that I can't do that. You are my husband and the father of my... of OUR children, and I just can't let you go ahead with this. Like I said, I'm sorry. But I just can't go back to Courasant knowing that you are here just waiting to get killed, because that's how it will be, Anakin. I'll have to disagree in this with you", she said shaking her head. Anakin looked at her with a piercing look.
"Again...", he pointed. Padmé nodded.
"Yes, AGAIN. Please, Ani. I don't want us to leave things the wrong way again". Anakin looked away. Padmé searched for his look. "If being a good husband is the most important thing in life to you, then please listen to me: don't stay". Anakin softened his look and grabbed her hand, trying to tell her that he couldn't do what she was asking him to do. "Anakin... I'm begging you. If you are not doing it for me, at least do it for our children. I don't want them to loose their father. And... and I don't want to loose my husband", she pleaded. Tears start rolling down her cheek again. There was what seemed to be a long silence. Suddenly, Anakin spoke up.
"If I'm doing this, I'm doing it for our children, and the children of our children. I have to stay, Padmé. I'm sorry", he finished. Padmé nodded and tried to smile.
"Then... I guess this is good bye", she managed to say. Anakin nodded, giving her what appeard to be a week smile.
"Yes. We'll see each other again, I promise", he said trying to make things easier.
"Maybe, someday...", she added. "I love you, Anakin".
"I love you too, Padmé", he said wrapping his left arm around her. Padmé grabbed his mechanical arm and put it around her with the other. "I'm sorry Padmé, will you ever forgive me?", he asked.
"No, I won't", she answered. She looked at him and caressed his face. "I'll never forgive you for this, Anakin Skywalker. Never". Anakin lowered his head, but Padmé lifted his face to kiss him. A while later, he broke the kiss and grabbed her hand.
"You better go, now", he whispered. Padmé nodded and left the enfermary, without looking back.