"I gotta do a little peekin' at that new girl Videl," Happosai whispered to no one. Happosai slurped the last noodle and patted his belly. He set the bowl down and hopped off his chair before starting to walk out the door.
"Going somewhere Happy?" Happosai turned and saw Cologne sitting atop her staff as she usually did.
"Why of course, my dear, I have… business to attend to," He opened the door and the end of the staff came crashing down on his bald cranium. Happosai winced, and Cologne held out her hand. He tossed a few yen in the air and stepped outside. "By the way, the tip is on the table," Cologne looked away and he tossed a round object at her which she caught. "Bye bye now!" He dashed out the restaurant as the firecracker exploded in her face.
"AIEE! Is Grandma ok?" Shampoo said after bursting out the kitchen.
"Grandma is fine Shampoo, but we'll get him back for that."
"Hey Grandma, this fake money." She turned the money over and it read Monopoly.
"Oh boy is Happy going to regret this," Cologne declared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ranma and Gohan were outside training for his duel with Ryoga. Ranma wore his white gi, and Gohan his blue and red gi. Ranma charged at Gohan, and easily dodged.
"I'm telling you Ranma, I really don't need this."
"Come on! Show me your full strength!" Ranma got into a fighter's stance and Gohan continued to stand still. "Ready?" Gohan nodded. Ranma attacked him again, and Gohan easily bobbed and weaved to avoid all the punches and kicks. Ranma performed several back flips and landed in a crouch. "You're good, but try and block this hotshot," he ran toward Gohan, building up momentum. Gohan held his arm out, palm pointed at Ranma. When Ranma was within ten feet, Gohan performed the ki ai hou attack, which slammed Ranma into a tree several yards away.
"Are we done for today?" Ranma sat up and coughed several times.
"Damn that was powerful, what are you?" He said between coughs. Gohan laughed nervously. Ranma stood up and the two walked inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"This is the place, I guess she's staying in Akane's room," Happosai reasoned. He stood on the roof of the Tendo house. He perched on the windowsill and tightened the cloth tied under his nose. Quietly, he slid the window opened and hopped inside. "While I'm here, I might as well check out Akane's silky treasures as well," Happosai smiled and looked around. Opening one of the drawers, he began to dig through the panties and bras. The door opened and he whirled around in surprise, holding a pair of panties in his hands.
"What have you got there?!?" Videl asked. She moved closer and saw the word 'Videl' sewed into the back of the panties. Happosai smiled meekly and began to creep toward the window. "Oh no you don't!" He jumped full spring out the window, reaching for a tree branch. A shoe hit him from behind, he missed the branch and plunged to the ground twenty feet below. Videl jumped out the window and levitated to the ground. Happosai was clearly not conscious and she grabbed the panties by one side. However, even in this inanimate state of being, his little fists refused to let go. She picked him up and tried pulling the two apart, with no success. She dropped him and bent over to pick him up again and he bounced off the ground. Happosai became nestled on her breasts and began to nuzzle. "Ugh! I hate this old pervert!" She wrenched him from her chest and he took off her shirt with him. She pried the shirt from his grasp, and he suddenly became 'conscious' again and flipped over her head, tapping her on the back. Her bra fell off and he scooped it up as he ran by before looking back at her and getting an eyeful.
"Woohoo! Now I have a complete set, thanks for everything darling!"
"You are so dead Happosai!" She shook her fists at him, then realized what she was doing, grabbed her shirt off the ground and put it on. Videl went inside and slammed the door.
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"Hey Gohan," Nabiki said and sat down on the couch next to him.
"Nabiki, please…"
"Don't worry, I've given up on you… for now."
"Gee, that's… great!" He smiled.
"I've come to you for a business proposition." She reached into her purse and he became puzzled. She pulled out a stack of photos and flashed them at Gohan. They were pictures of Videl in various states of undress, several with her naked from behind and without a top. "Set of five for 3000 yen, just 'cause she's your girlfriend."
"What are you doing Nabiki? This isn't right."
"Oh come on! I'll go as low as 2300 yen, it's a real bargain!"
"What's that you got there?" Videl asked as she came in the door. Nabiki scrambled to gather all the photos and stuffed them into her purse.
"Oh, nothing!"
"Hey Videl, why aren't you wearing a bra?" Gohan asked. She looked down and noticed her nipples poking through the fabric of her shirt.
"None of your business, pervert!" She crossed her arms over her chest.
"I am not a pervert!" He stood up.
"Then why were you looking at her chest, Romeo?" Nabiki added.
"BUT OUT!" The two yelled at her.
"Told you! You guys need to hook up." Gohan blushed and Videl made a face at Nabiki. "You can stop pretending now, guys."
"That's it!" Videl yelled. Nabiki jumped over the couch and ran into the kitchen, followed by Videl. Several crashes, bangs, and clangs sounded. Nabiki screamed and came running out with dinner covering her. Videl burst out of the kitchen wielding a portable mixer and laughed maniacally before following Nabiki upstairs.
"Oh my." Kasumi said as she walked out of the kitchen covered in flour. "I'll never get dinner done at this rate."
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The day for the duel had come and as usual, Ryoga was no where to be seen.
"Told ya Gohan, let's go home," Ranma said. The two began to leave the open field when Ryoga's head burst through the ground.
"Where're you two goin'?"
"Whoa! Ryoga, how'd you find the place?" Ranma asked. He nodded toward a big sign on the grass that said in big, red letters 'DUEL BETWEEN CHAMPION RYOGA AND NOODLE ARMED NEWBOY HERE!'
"Hey…" Gohan remarked.
"Oh yeah, then why did you get here underground, P-Chan?" Ryoga's head rotated to face them and he looked down.
"I got lost." He sighed.
"Who's P-Chan?" Gohan piped in.
"I'll tell you about it later," Ranma whispered over his shoulder.
"Ready to get your ass handed to you, weakling?" The head on the ground said.
"You're gonna fight like that?" Gohan asked.
"Oh yeah," Ryoga noted. He pulled his head underground and disappeared. A few seconds later, he exploded from the ground, leaving a crater. "You're dead meat runt," he laughed and cracked his knuckles. Ranma pushed Gohan forward.
"Oh yeah. Are you ready?"
"Let's go!" Ryoga charged at Gohan, and went through him. Ryoga tripped and fell into a puddle.
"What was that about getting my ass handed to me?" Gohan smirked. Ryoga growled and flipped backward over Gohan, then side-kicked him dead center in his stomach. Gohan didn't budge. Ryoga followed up with a series of roundhouses then backhanded Gohan, turning his head. Gohan looked back at Ranma, then face Ryoga. He wiped the small trickle of blood from his mouth and flung his hand to his side. Gohan raised his other hand and held out one finger. Ryoga suddenly became puzzle. Gohan waved the finger in front of Ryoga, the jabbed him in the ribs faster than he could react. Ryoga was sent spinning to the ground several feet away. Ryoga dashed at Gohan again, and the one finger met each attack. Gohan then gave Ryoga an uppercut using the finger, and Ryoga sailed high into the air before landing in the crater he had created.
"Well, that's that," Ranma said.
"Yup," Gohan replied and walked away from the battlefield. The two began to walk back home.
I'll never be able to be him, Ryoga thought. He's just TOO strong for a weakling like me, I'm such a loser. No one loves me. Ryoga began to channel the despair he felt within, and began powering up. The increase in ki caused Gohan and Ranma to turn around in surprise.
"What the…" Gohan began.
"AHHHHH!" Ryoga yelled and leapt from the crater. "You're mine now!" He cupped his hands together and held them out. "HO-KO-DEN!" The energy beam shot toward Gohan.
"Ranma, back!" Gohan shoved Ranma behind him. "KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!" The blue beam shot out and met Ryoga's hokoden. The beams pushed back and forth against one another.
"You can't win Gohan!" Ryoga shouted above the roar. "No one cares for me, I am in the greatest depths of despair, you have no chance to win!"
"Wanna bet!?" Gohan yelled back. He clenched his teeth and began powering up. His hair flickered then became gold and his eyes became green. Gohan was now in Super Saiyajin form. Ryoga's eyes opened wide in surprise as did Ranma's. "KA-ME-HA-ME…HAAAAA!" Gohan shot another energy blast through his first, engulfing it, then Ryoga's. It slammed into Ryoga as he threw up his arms in defense and he was sent sailing into the air.
"Damn, dude…" Ranma squinted and tried to follow Ryoga as he soared into the distance. Gohan put his hands at his side and began breathing heavily. His hair and eyes revered to normal as he powered down.
"I shouldn't have done that," Gohan sighed.
"Gohan, can you… teach me to do that?" Ranma asked.
"No, not really."
"Oh come on, it's the most powerful technique I have ever seen, and I thought Ryoga's hokoden was powerful."
"I can't teach you to increase your power like that, but I can teach you that ki blast."
"All right!" He and Gohan went home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ooh! Free samples!" Happosai dove into the pile of panties and bras with a sign next to them that said 'Try one'. He stuck his head out, and began examining a pair of panties. The world turned upside down on him as the net under the trap snapped shut, pulling him up above the ground. "What the hell is this!?" He cried in dismay. Shampoo and Cologne appeared from behind a bush.
"This'll teach you to eat at our restaurant and not pay," Cologne raised her staff and pointed it at Happosai. "You're natural desire to steal women's undergarments and look at their unclothed forms will be your undoing," she tapped him on the head with her staff.
"That's it?" Happosai opened his eyes slowly.
"Yes, go ahead Shampoo." Shampoo pulled out a katana, and Happosai screamed in terror. She flipped over the net and neatly sliced the rope holding the net before landing with a soft thud. Happosai crashed to the ground amid the underwear. He sat up, rubbing his head. He looked around and stood up, hands on his hips defiantly.
"Ha ha! You had me in the palm of your hand and instead of smashing me like a little bug, you tapped me on the head?" Cologne nodded. "You stupid old hag!"
"Can Shampoo hurt dirty little man?" Shampoo turned to her great-grandmother.
"No, let him be, he'll get what's coming to him."
"See ya later girls! I'm off to the Tendos!"
"Why not Grandma kill Happosai?"
"Shampoo, as you grow older, you'll come to gain the vast knowledge women possess that men do not. Happy's punishment will be worse than he can imagine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All right, just in time for dinner!" Happosai said as he plopped down at the table.
"Who invited you?" Akane asked.
"I did," he replied as-a-matter-of-factly. Female Ranma sat down on the other side of the table next to Gohan. Happosai hopped across the table and clutched onto her breasts. "Ah, my favorite student- AHHHH!!!!" His head burst into flames and he danced around in great pain.
"Quick somebody get some water!" Gohan yelled. Kasumi doused Happosai with a pitcher of water and the flames vanished. He rubbed his badly burnt head tenderly.
"That was odd," Nabiki remarked.
"Now, as I was saying, Ranma my favorite- GYAHHHHH!!!!" His head burst into flames a second time.
"Quick get him out of here before he burns the house down!" Soun exclaimed. Ranma grabbed him by the foot and carried him outside before kicking him several blocks away, where his screams could still be heard.