Ranma carefully picked up the phone and quickly pressed in the numbers.

"Whatcha doing?" Gohan asked after entering the room.

"SHHH! Kasumi's sick, so we hafta order out for dinner." He looked around.

"Why can't Akane cook? I've hear her cooking if pretty good."

"Bite your tongue Gohan! If we let her make dinner, one taste and we'll be puking up our intestines!" Out of nowhere, he was sent flying through the window, still holding the phone. Akane stood in his place, cracking her knuckles and growling in anger.

"Akane! We were just talking about you!" Gohan stated nervously. "I was wondering if we'd be sampling from your cuisine tonight for dinner since Kasumi is unfortunately ill." The door burst open, and Ranma dragged himself along the floor.

"Do you have a death wish Gohan, that stuff's poiso-" He grabbed Gohan's ankles as Akane picked him up by the leg. She prepared to wallop him again, but he twisted and tumbled out of his pants. Ranma rolled on the floor and crouched behind Gohan, wearing his boxers. "It's only okonomiyaki! You don't have to go all nuts and stuff!"

"Fine, but only tonight, I'm making breakfast tomorrow." Akane crossed her arms over her chest. Ranma made a face at the thought. Akane reached pushed Gohan aside and chased after Ranma as he ran out the open door. Gohan stopped in the doorway and looked around and went back in the house.

"Gohan, duck!" Gohan fell flat on the floor and a bound Ranma flew over his head. He was restrained in the cord from the telephone. Landing with a thud on the floor, he dialed the number again with a free toe.

"Ucchan, hi again, sorry 'bout that. Yeah, that's right, make it a double, and please bring it over quick, if we have to eat Akane's cooking you're gonna lose one valuable customer!" A pinecone sailed through the window and bounced off the top of Ranma's head.

"Get me down from here!" Akane shouted from outside. Gohan peered out the window, and saw Akane hanging from a tree by her shirt. It was pulled over her head, holding her arms up, which revealed her bra. She kicked her legs furiously, attempting to free herself. "When I get out of this tree, I'm gonna murder you, Ranma!"

"Fine then, I won't get you down! Little help here Gohan?" Gohan sat on his haunches and began to unravel the phone cord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Ukyo's okonomiyaki on wheels delivery!" A voice called from outside. Ranma bounded down the stairs, followed closely by Gohan. Ranma opened the door and handed the boxes to Gohan. They piled over his range of view and he began to stagger under the bulk.

"It's all here, thanks Ucchan," Ranma handed Ukyo the money.

"Great! I'll be around making other deliveries if you need anything else, Ranchan, bye!"

Shortly…

"Ok everyone, dinner's ready!" Videl called from the kitchen.

"All right! Ukyo's okonomiyaki!" Ranma rubbed his hands together and hopped into a seat.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Gohan began as he sat down next to Ranma.

"What?"

"What exactly is an okonomiyaki?"

"It's a Japanese-pizza, I guess. Just try it, I'm sure it'll be good." The others sat down and began eating. Gohan picked up his vegetable okonomiyaki and sniffed it. He was starving. He took a big bite, placing the entire thing in his mouth.

"Yuck! This is not pizza, my friend," he spit the okonomiyaki, still whole onto his plate. Gohan noticed everyone was staring at him. "Am I the only one who doesn't like it?" He asked meekly. They continued eating. Someone knocked on the door, and Gohan went to get it. He opened it and Ukyo stood, enveloped in shadow, appearing very menacing.

"What was that about my okonomiyaki?"

"Uh… I, Uh… Well…"

"I must stand up for my okonomiyaki's honor, I challenge you to a duel Gohan, do you accept or are you a wuss?"

"I accept, Ukyo," he glanced back at Ranma.

"Fine then, after school tomorrow, in the front of the main building, see you there," Ukyo jumped onto her bike-food cart and rode away. Gohan closed the door and went back to the table. With nothing else to eat, he filled a bowl with rice and began to scarf it down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Gohan and Ranma were in their room. Ranma was humming and had his hands behind his head. Gohan sat cross-legged in deep thought.

"Do I have a chance against this Ukyo guy, Ranma?"

"Oh, I'd say so, you'll defeat Ukyo without a problem," Ranma scratched his shoulder. Gohan nodded and rested his chin on his clasped hands.

In Akane's room the two girls lay on their respective beds…

"Has Ranma ever admitted he liked you, Akane?" Videl asked randomly.

"Nope, he refuses to admit it, I… like him and all, but he's afraid to say it for some reason."

"Weird."

"Everything with him is weird, I still love him the same," she sighed.

"Gohan's like that too."

"Aren't all men?" Akane pointed out.

"Yeah…" Videl rolled onto her stomach.

In Kasumi's room…

"There, now you get better soon Kasumi, this house is gonna fall apart without you," Nabiki said tenderly and pulled up the sheets over her sister.

"Thanks, Nabiki, I can already feel the fever breaking," she sneezed and Nabiki handed her a tissue. "I'll be better in no time."

"Don't worry, everything's fine. You need your rest, take your time to recover. I put a glass of water on your nightstand, if you need anything, I'm down the hall. G'night."

"Goodnight Nabiki," they hugged and Nabiki gently closed the door.

At that moment in the dark kitchen…

"Genma, why are we in here?" Soun asked.

"I was just trying to figure that out myself, shouldn't we be sleeping peacefully in our beds by now?"

"I would think so, it's late."

"This is odd."

"Quite." Soun nodded.

"Snort!"

"Was that you Soun?"

"No, it wasn't…"

"Then it was…"

"A MONSTER!" They shouted in unison. They shrieked in terror, and Akane, Videl, Ranma, and Gohan came running downstairs. Ranma flicked on the light switch. Soun and Genma were standing on the table, shaking uncontrollably. Something grunted and they jumped into each other's arms.

"P-chan!" Akane squealed in delight and grabbed the little black pig off of the floor, clutching it to her chest. The pig began to nuzzle her breasts. Ranma quickly grabbed P-chan by the scruff of the neck and held him for their fathers to see.

"This is your monster?" The two men leapt from the table, quickly composing themselves. P-chan squeaked and reached for Akane. She coddled him and went upstairs with Videl. Ranma sighed in disgust, cut off the light, and then likewise went upstairs, followed by Gohan.

"Here we are, once again in the dark kitchen," Soun declared. Something creaked behind them.

"I'm coming, Ranma!" Genma shouted.

"Akane! Help!" They ran upstairs in panic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The next day…

The school bell rang, and the students raced from their classrooms. A circle of students formed around Gohan and Ukyo, who continued to stare into one another. The crowd began to murmur in anticipation. Ukyo reached behind her and drew her oversized spatula, she then gripped it with both hands, blade up.

"Ready, Gohan?" She spun the spatula, then pointed to flat end at Gohan. He nodded, and she charged at him, spatula whirling around her. She jabbed the blade toward his throat, he ducked and elbowed her in the lower back. Ukyo sprawled on the ground for a moment, then swung the blade toward his ankles. Gohan jumped back, and Ukyo flipped up, landing in a defensive position. Gohan pressed forward and let out a string of punches and kicks. Ukyo blocked each attack then shot forward, slicing Gohan's shirt. Gohan grabbed her arm and held it bent behind her, she whipped her spatula up, and he held her other arm in the air by the wrist.

"Hey Gohan…" Nabiki called from the crowd. Gohan turned to look, Ukyo rolled from his grasp and slammed the broadside of the spatula into Gohan like a baseball bat. He was sent flying over the school, and Ukyo bounded after him. Videl cried out and pounced on Nabiki. Akane quickly tried to separate the two. The crowd reformed around the three, not caring to follow the two combatants.

In the empty gymnasium…

Gohan crashed through the ceiling, but regained control of his descent and floated to the ground. Ukyo jumped down after him, spatula at the ready. Gohan dashed forward, and Ukyo brought her spatula down on him. He caught the blade with his hands then twisted it from her grasp. Gohan flipped it around to slice at her midsection. She dodged, but the blade cut through the sash on her shoulder and the sleeve of her shirt. Whirling the spatula, he stabbed at her stomach again, and she rotated to dodge. The blade cut her shirt across her back below her neck. She grabbed the spatula and they wrestled over it for a minute before he flung it far behind him. Gohan shoved a hand forward to perform the Ki Ai Hou attack to send Ukyo into the distant wall, but suddenly stopped upon making contact with her body. He gently pushed in and realized Ukyo wasn't what he thought Ukyo was.

"Uh… Ukyo, that's a breast, right?"

"Yes…" She said angrily.

"And that's another breast," he pointed to the other side of her chest.

"Duh…"

"Then you're a-"

"Girl," she concluded. Gohan lowered his hand. Half her shirt fell away, exposing a breast. His eyes bugged out and his mouth dropped at the sight. Ukyo hissed in annoyance and pulled a pin from her hair. She lifted her torn shirt, placed her breast back inside, and pinned it closed.

"I-I would n-never have accepted if I'd h-have known..."

"Oh Puh-lease, Gohan. Just forget about it. Let's get out of here, I have to go open my restaurant for the day," she picked up her spatula. "However, if you'll come with me, I'll show you that I can make an okonomiyaki you'll enjoy," she smiled and held out her hand.

"Sure," he grasped her extended hand, and they walked out of the gym together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Videl and Nabiki lay in separate cots in Dr. Tofu's office. Akane sat in a chair between them, reading a magazine. Both were bandaged up, Videl having tape wrapped around her forehead, splint on her left arm below the elbow, and her right leg from the knee down was in a soft cast raised on a sling from the ceiling. Nabiki was in far worse condition, she wore a neck brace, splints on all fingers of her right arm, which was in a sling, her bare breasts and stomach were taped up from bruised ribs, she had a brace on her left knee, and both ankles were in soft casts. Videl peered over at Nabiki who made a face at her. Videl made a face back. Akane noticed what they were doing and put her magazine down.

"Will you two stop it?!" She shouted.

"She started it!" They yelled in unison.

"You're acting like little children!" She crossed her arms over her chest. Nabiki flipped off Videl with her free hand. Akane raised her good arm and began creating a blue energy ball, which increased to the size of a basketball. It hovered above her open palm, and Nabiki's terror-stricken face became blue from the light.

"Ah, so how are my patients resting?" Dr. Tofu said as he walked into the medical ward. Videl lost control of the ball of energy and it flew through the ceiling above Nabiki's cot. Pieces of plaster rained down on her. "I've never seen a patient do that before. Most interesting," Dr. Tofu commented. Videl blushed in embarrassment. "As I was saying, the two of you will have to skip at least three days of school in order for your bodies to recover enough to handle the stress of being up and around."

"Well isn't that going to suck," Nabiki blurted out.

"Indeed it will, Nabiki, with your bruised and battered innards, you will have to drink your meals for the time being."

"What!?!?" She said in shock.

"Now that Kasumi is feeling better, she'll have to prepare all of your meals in a blender, be sure to tell her that Akane," he turned to the healthy girl.

"Right, Dr. Tofu," Akane nodded.

"Oh, and one last thing, if you two desire to bathe, which I recommend you do, you will need the assistance of at least one other person. All your bandages and such may be removed, but they must be replaced after your bath."

"That shouldn't be too hard," Videl said.

"Akane, you can borrow my medical cart to take these two home, just return it within the next few days."

"Ok, no problem." They carefully loaded the injured girls into the cart and Akane set off for home, pulling the cart behind her. Videl and Nabiki began to slap at each other with their free hands and fell off the cart.

"Akane!!" They shouted as she drove off without them.