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"Turn here," the driver in the front obeyed. "It's the third one on the left," the driver pulled up to the house and parked the car. "Get my bags out the trunk and you can go."
"Y-yes sir!" He hastily unbuckled his seatbelt and hopped out the car. "Time for my big entrance," he flung the door open and jumped into the sunlight. He held his hands over his head waving peace signs and flashed his trademark expression. Mr. Satan gazed around confusedly. "Um… where is everybody?" He asked to no one in particular.
"I-I'm not s-sure, sir, but here are your bags, I'm g-going to return to the Satan compound now," his chauffeur answered nervously.
"Good, get going already!" the chauffeur leaped back into the limousine, and began speeding down the street.
"This is very unusual, there should be thousands of fans fawning all over me by now. Oh well," Mr. Satan heaved his bags into the air. The landed on the doorstep in a neat pile. He casually sauntered up to the door, his cape blowing in the wind. He rung the doorbell three times and struck his signature pose. The door opened. Genma Saotome in panda form looked at the deranged looking strongman. "Uh…" Genma scratched behind an ear. "Is this the, uh, Tendo residence?" Mr. Satan lowered his arms. Genma seemed to ignore him and chattered to himself in bear tones. He stopped upon noticing Mr. Satan's impatient foot tapping. He quickly scribbled on a sign and held it up.
You talking to me? It read.
"Yes…"
Oh.
"Well?"
Well, what?
"Is this the Tendo residence?!?"
Yup.
"Can I come in?"
Sure.
"Aren't you going to carry my luggage?" Mr. Satan followed the panda through the doorway. Genma shrugged and continued on to the kitchen. Soun Tendo, who had been reading the paper peacefully, sprang to his feet when the stranger walked in.
"Genma! Who's this strange man with the 70's hairdo you have let into my house?"
I dunno, he seemed nice, read Genma's sign.
"Aha, I am Mr. Satan, CHAMPION of the WORLD! Haw haw!" Once again, he struck his infamous stance.
"Right… what d'you want?"
"I'm here to visit my little Videl."
"Y-you're Videl's father!?!?" Soun did a spit take, spraying Mr. Satan with coffee. Genma blocked the brown liquid with his last sign. He quickly discarded it and sat down at the table across from Soun. With an annoyed look on his face, Mr. Satan shook off the coffee like a dog.
"I'll be staying here for a few days, will you show me to my room?" Soun conferred with Genma for a moment. Mr. Satan only heard the bear's murmurs and noticed it nodding and shaking its head.
"Ok, right this way, Genma, please get his bags," Soun left the kitchen with Mr. Satan in tow. "Here's your room," they entered Happosai's chamber. Fortunately, the perverted martial arts master was out for a few days on some kind of 'treasure' hunt.
"What's this?" Mr. Satan picked up a bag full of Happosai's silky darlings. Soun quickly snatched them away and threw them into the hall.
"Just, some… laundry that needs washing, I have three daughters you know."
"Th-three d-daughters!?!"
"Right."
"THREE DAUGHTERS!"
"Yes."
"Astounding! How do you survive with all that femininity surrounding you!?"
"Um, there's also Genma and his son Ranma."
"The panda has children?" Mr. Satan asked in a confused tone.
"Yeah… sort of. I don't want to disturb you anymore, so I'll leave you to unpack."
"Where… are… my… bags?" He looked around.
"One moment," Soun dashed into the kitchen. "I thought I told you to get his bags!"
You were talking to me?
"YES, go you lazy panda!" Grumbling, Genma got off his rear and trotted out the kitchen.
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Ranma opened the door and tiredly walked into the house. It had been a long day at school. Gohan followed behind him and tossed his book bag onto the floor next to Ranma's. Akane and Videl entered last.
"Gosh, that was an exhausting day," Videl commented.
"Videl!? Is that my little Videl!?" A familiar voice thundered from the kitchen. The door to the hallway exploded off its hinges and Mr. Satan came bounding toward his daughter, inadvertently knocking Ranma through the wall. He grabbed her in a tight bear hug and swung her off her feet.
"Daddy, urk, y-you're squeezing too t-tight…" She gasped.
"Oh. Sorry," he gently let go and put her on the ground.
"Mr. Satan, how uh, nice to see you," Gohan held out his hand.
"He's the one you like, right?" Mr. Satan whispered to his daughter behind a hand.
"Dad!"
"Nice to see you too, kid," he took Gohan's outstretched hand and shook it. Ranma climbed back through the crater.
"Who's this clumsy oaf?" He gestured at Mr. Satan.
"Why you!" Mr. Satan took a swing at Ranma. He quickly blocked the blow with an upraised open palm.
"Listen, gramps, I don't want to hurt ya," Mr. Satan gritted his teeth as he tried to overcome the youth's strength.
"Daddy, I think you better stop now…"
"N-nonsense, I g-got to sh-show this y-youngster some m-manners," the strain was evident in his voice. Ranma yawned and covered his mouth with his free hand.
"Daddy, please."
"Yeah, Mr. Satan, you really should…"
"Back off, Gohan!" Ranma let go of his fist and Mr. Satan tumbled through the hole in the wall.
"Oh well. C'mon Gohan, let's find out what's for dinner," he turned and walked over the broken door with Gohan tagging along.
"Daddy!" Videl cried out and helped her father get back to his feet. Mr. Satan was extremely dazed.
"Huh, whuzza fuzza?" Her father replied groggily.
"Let's go see what we'll be having for supper," she put a hand on his shoulder and led him toward the kitchen. Akane shook her head in amusement and followed her friend.
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"It's so nice to have you staying with us, Mr. Satan," Kasumi said as she sat down at the table. She placed a bowl of rice down, and Gohan and Ranma quickly snapped it up. "Oh dear, I'll go make some more…" She got up, heading over to the counter.
"So you're Videl's father?" Nabiki asked quizzically. Mr. Satan nodded in between mouthfuls of food. "The Mr. Satan who saved the world during the Cell Games?" He nodded again. Gohan sighed and rested his chin on his hands. "Something wrong, Gohan?"
"Oh nothing…"
"D-did you see me defeat Cell?" Mr. Satan inquired.
"If you'll recall the TV transmission failed shortly before that…" Gohan piped in.
"You should've been there, I was amazing! I hit him with a right and a left, then a roundhouse, then finished off the monster with my patented Super-Satan-Megaton-Punch, KAPOW!" He mimicked the fancy-named normal punch. "Then, all of a sudden, BANG, ZOW, BOOM! Cell exploded and became vaporized!"
"Yeah…" Ranma muttered. Gohan sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Oh, that's right! Gohan was there too, cheering me on like a good little boy!" Gohan rolled his eyes again.
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"Well, that was a first," Ranma said after spitting a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink.
"Mmm?" Gohan continued brushing his teeth.
"You didn't finish your meal," Ranma gargled a cup of mouthwash than spat.
"Yeah, yeah…" Gohan spit out the toothpaste wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He switched off the light and they headed to their room.
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Meanwhile, in the girls' room…
"So, watcha wanna talk about, Videl?"
"Really, Daddy, I think you need to go to your own room, now." Mr. Satan lie on the floor between the two beds.
"Aw, come on," he pleaded. "I haven't seen you in a year!"
"It's barely been over a month, father."
"Fine, don't talk to me then," he sat up and crossed his arms over his teddy bear pajama covered chest.
"Mr. Satan."
"Yes, Akane?" He turned to her.
"I'd like to get some sleep tonight, I have to ask you to please leave," Akane said in a gentle tone. Both girls were dressed in their nightgowns and were obviously ready to go call it a night.
"But I wanna stay!" He whined like a small child.
"Daddy, please, you're embarrassing yourself, just go to your own room."
"Aw…" he appeared downtrodden, then suddenly perked up. "Will you tuck me in and tell me a bedtime story!?!"
"Fine…" Videl sighed and took her father by the hand. "I'll be right back Akane," she took him into the hall. The other girl burst out laughing when the door closed.
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"…The End."
"What a wonderful story, a true masterpiece!" Mr. Satan squealed. He tightened his hold on his teddy bear he had with him. Genma's face turned a dark purple.
"Um, Dad, maybe you wanna let go of Mr. Wuffums."
"Never! He's my teddy bear!" Genma's cheeks swelled up and his eyes went wild.
"Dad…"
"Yes, darling?"
"Let go of Genma!"
"Huh? Wha?" He released Genma's neck. Genma sat up, exhaling sharply. Mr. Satan crinkled his nose. "Mr. Wuffums, you need to brush your teeth!"
"Never mind that, Dad! Goodnight!" She yanked a hyperventilating Genma into the hall and closed the door.
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"Daddy, you really don't need to take me to school," Videl ran ahead of her father, trying to keep up with Akane and the guys. They rounded the corner and entered the gates to the schoolyard. As usual, the mob of teenaged boys set upon them.
"What's this?" Mr. Satan put a hand to his ear.
"You will date me, Videl!"
"I challenge you, Videl!"
"What in the-" Mr. Satan was pushed aside by Tatewaki Kuno in his hurry to reach Videl first. "Oh no you don't!" Mr. Satan put a massive hand over the top of Kuno's head and lifted him several feet off the ground. He lowered him to eye level, which was still a good four feet off the ground. "What did you intend to do to my daughter?"
"Mr. Satan's d-d-d-d-d-d-" he stammered.
"DAUGHTER!?!?" The crowd finished Kuno's thought. They ran screaming in all directions. Kuno also tried to flee, but when one's feet are far above the ground, one doesn't get very far. Kuno was learning this the hard way. Mr. Satan pulled his arm back. Kuno screamed in terror. With a bellow, he heaved Kuno up and over the school, sending him several blocks away. Breathing hard, Mr. Satan smacked his hands together satisfactorily. "Time to go to class."
"Gosh…" Akane said to herself in an undertone.
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"Thanks fo' comin' ta visit, Mr. Satan, I am very much honored to have you comin' ta my high school," Mr. Satan and the Principal walked out of the school after classes had ended.
"It was a pleasure, uh… Principal Kuno."
"Please to be callin' me, Big Kahunna."
"Right… well I gotta go pack for my trip home. Nice meeting you."
"Likevise, mah friend." Mr. Satan shook his hand and started to head to the Tendo residence.
"There's something wrong with that guy," he muttered to himself as he walked down the sidewalk.
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Several hundred screaming fans and autographs later, Mr. Satan had gotten back to the Tendo's and finished packing. He whipped out a cell phone and told his chauffeur to pick him up.
"On my way, sir!" He hung up and stowed the cell phone in one of his many bags. Videl jumped up and hugged.
"Goodbye, Daddy, I'll see you soon."
"I hope so, Videl," he leaned over to Gohan. "And you," he whispered behind a hand. "No funny business!"
"I-I'm not that kind of guy!" Gohan shot back.
"Daddy, I heard that!"
"Oh, sorry Videl, you know I'm just looking out for you and mean no harm." Out of nowhere Happosai bounced off Mr. Satan's head and flipped into the air.
"Never fear, Happy's here!" He reached into his bag and pulled out some silky darlings. "I'm in shush a good mood I feel like shpreading the love," an obviously drunk Happosai tossed the panties and bras into the air. He hiccuped several times and hobbled through the front door. Mr. Satan released his daughter and caught notice of Gohan, who was covered in women's underwear.
"Heh, heh, heh…" Gohan took a bra off his head and dropped it to the ground.
"Gohan…." Mr. Satan growled.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Gohan took off, jumping over the fence and into the backyard. Mr. Satan tried to follow but landed in the pond with a loud splash. He quickly got up and sloshed after Gohan.
"I'm gonna kill you Happosai!" Gohan shouted.
"And a nish day to you too, Gohan! Hic," Happosai, who was not on the roof, began pressing his treasures with a portable iron.
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* PREVIEW * Shampoo returns to reclaim Ranma, and guess what she's got? But it seems someone else is going to need the vial of water from the 'Spring of Drowned Girl' more than she does! Will Shampoo give up her shot at changing back permanently to save her friend? Be sure to read the next chapter to find out.