Disclaimer : don't owe anything in this story. well, I don't own the
characters, I made up the story though. duh. Okay, don't sue, etc.
A/N: Wow, this isn't going the way I planned, but wherever a story leads you, might as well go with the flow, rite? Well, we'll see how it goes.
And I suddenly realized that the last chapter had typos. my bad. Hopefully, you could understand, though. if anyone reads this, that is. ( you never know.
Empathy
The sad part of all of this is that it was never really a Brotherhood. It wasn't like what I had in mind. I guess you could say that I was an idealist, and I guess I couldn't really argue with that. The problem is that with all my idealism reality didn't follow in suit. I shouldn't have thought otherwise (but then, would I really be an idealist if I did). Reality has this sort of thing with pushing down the mind and raising up the physical aspect of everything. Survival of the fittest.
Funny. The Brotherhood is as fit as Big Brother. Big Brother's power stems from the lies that are fed to the people everyday. Lies are strong because it can be molded and manipulated, as can people be molded and manipulated. Lies are strong, but not the strongest. The stronger aspect of Big Brother was fear and the absence of intelligence. Fear of vaporization. Fear of death. Fear of nonexisting. They are all the same fears. It all leads to the same thing in the long run.
I was never corrupted as a child, so I stayed free from that. As I became older, I no longer feared death. No longer feared that with time people would completely forget me. It never really mattered. People are forgotten every day. In fact, every moment. The Past is changed and there is no certainty in anything. The mind is weak when it has been trained to not work. Big Brother has trained it to be so. I could not expect anything better from the people that have not had any other choice in life.
I on the other hand, have a terrible memory. Not terrible in the sense that it does not contain anything, but by the fact that it contains everything. Gift or Curse? I'm not sure. Never sure. Doubt. hmm. I guess that I don't doubt. It is both. I remember every face I see and every sound I hear. There is nothing that gets past my senses. There is no way. No truth has come my way that I have yet to forget. Nor any lie. There is no escaping it though. There is no escaping the lies. There is only escaping reality.
The escape is to deny reality.
That is where the key lies. That is where the power of my Brotherhood stems from. The reality of the moment is that there is only this moment. We must escape the reality that Big Brother has made for us all. To escape we need to deny reality. It was not easy. It was never said that it would be easy. In a way, I believe in one of the concepts of Big Brother, that the only thing you can be sure of is a moment. For once you believe in that moment, it is already past, and you can no longer be sure of it.
I taught the ethic of living in the moment. Living with what is present, but remembering what was in the past. To remember is to learn. To forget is to live in vain. If Big Brother's power was from ignorance, fear, and power, than I would say that the Brotherhood was based on intelligence, courage, and strategy.
Courage could not be taught, but it could be forced from people. There is a limit to which all people will turn from their cowardly ways and face their opponent. I was waiting for that moment. That moment never came in my lifetime. That moment would not come so quickly.
And, strategy would only work for so long. Strategy is the starting point. Strategy with no strength was a poor policy, a failing one at that. Strategy also required intelligence which was hard going in general.
The proles. sigh. what can I say about the proles? Nothing bad, I hope. I could think of numerous bad statements to make about the proles, but they are better compared to the Party members. That is the reason I created the Brotherhood based with proles. They are the future. It is undeniable. There is no way that the Party members, Inner or Outer could or ever would try to coup. A coup from the brainwashed part of society is ludicrous. I mock it in my head just to think of it.
So, educate the proles and hope that human nature and human desires will take over. That was my hope. My hope was not in vain though. The Brotherhood was. not a religion because there was no god involved with it. It was humans versus humans. If it got any more complicated than that, then the Brotherhood would never survive. The fact that I could simplify the life that Big Brother made for the proles was a leading force that attracted these people. I opened their eyes to some greater life. A life that everyone deserved. I did not teach them to hate the Party members but to hate the leaders. To hate the fact that both the Outer Party members and the proles lived a life that was not worth anything to Big Brother.
I placed the ideas of rebellion in their head. I placed it in their heart. I planted it in their very being. That was the Brotherhood. I did not want it to be like that. I didn't want it to become another mindless action led by some human that wanted to play God, that wanted to have all the power. I did not want the power. I wanted the power to be distributed. I wanted equality. I wanted change. A revolution. That's what I craved for.
Power never held any interest to me. I could have gone higher up the Big Brother Party chain, but something inside me rebelled. That is what the Brotherhood is. It is the part of everyone that rebels against something that feels so wrong that the discord of it reverberates through the bones and does not stop until action is taken. Action to change something when no one else will.
Mindless. It was never supposed to be action without thought. It was supposed to be the action that required deep thought. It was an inner conflict fought in the realm of physicality. It was frustrating. This Brotherhood. Ever since I was younger I could not stand the condition of life Big Brother made everyone (minus the Inner Party) live in. It was filth and inhumane. I could almost feel it. I made myself feel it. Another reason I wanted to work with the proles was so that I could somehow help them. Somehow make their lives less. dirty. Less, something that they would just give in to. They didn't know that their lives were supposed to be so much better than Big Brother made it to be. They didn't feel badly for themselves though, they didn't know any better. They probably only knew worse.
The empathy I had ripped the inside of my heart every day. I went undercover for a while, when I was just starting as a thought spy. I was a prole. They made me live as a prole. They made me remain in the proles' living towns for months. I guess they thought that if you even survived with the bombings and still remained faithful to Big Brother, than you could be a part of the thought police. It wasn't a life I would choose to live, but I could. I could survive, and that is where my inspiration came from. These proles that were my neighbors. They were the embodiment of hope.
The Brotherhood comes from empathy. Empathy, unfortunately cannot be taught. It cannot be ordered into someone. So, this emotion that ran so deep in my veins caused the whole movement. The Brotherhood was a movement of emotions. Big Brother wanted to kill it. Wanted to kill the loyalties we had to individuals. Those are the most important emotions we possess. The ones that go beyond our own welfare and into the next realm of caring. Big Brother cut that off when they severed the family ties.
Emotion.
It would be my demise.
A/N: Wow, this isn't going the way I planned, but wherever a story leads you, might as well go with the flow, rite? Well, we'll see how it goes.
And I suddenly realized that the last chapter had typos. my bad. Hopefully, you could understand, though. if anyone reads this, that is. ( you never know.
Empathy
The sad part of all of this is that it was never really a Brotherhood. It wasn't like what I had in mind. I guess you could say that I was an idealist, and I guess I couldn't really argue with that. The problem is that with all my idealism reality didn't follow in suit. I shouldn't have thought otherwise (but then, would I really be an idealist if I did). Reality has this sort of thing with pushing down the mind and raising up the physical aspect of everything. Survival of the fittest.
Funny. The Brotherhood is as fit as Big Brother. Big Brother's power stems from the lies that are fed to the people everyday. Lies are strong because it can be molded and manipulated, as can people be molded and manipulated. Lies are strong, but not the strongest. The stronger aspect of Big Brother was fear and the absence of intelligence. Fear of vaporization. Fear of death. Fear of nonexisting. They are all the same fears. It all leads to the same thing in the long run.
I was never corrupted as a child, so I stayed free from that. As I became older, I no longer feared death. No longer feared that with time people would completely forget me. It never really mattered. People are forgotten every day. In fact, every moment. The Past is changed and there is no certainty in anything. The mind is weak when it has been trained to not work. Big Brother has trained it to be so. I could not expect anything better from the people that have not had any other choice in life.
I on the other hand, have a terrible memory. Not terrible in the sense that it does not contain anything, but by the fact that it contains everything. Gift or Curse? I'm not sure. Never sure. Doubt. hmm. I guess that I don't doubt. It is both. I remember every face I see and every sound I hear. There is nothing that gets past my senses. There is no way. No truth has come my way that I have yet to forget. Nor any lie. There is no escaping it though. There is no escaping the lies. There is only escaping reality.
The escape is to deny reality.
That is where the key lies. That is where the power of my Brotherhood stems from. The reality of the moment is that there is only this moment. We must escape the reality that Big Brother has made for us all. To escape we need to deny reality. It was not easy. It was never said that it would be easy. In a way, I believe in one of the concepts of Big Brother, that the only thing you can be sure of is a moment. For once you believe in that moment, it is already past, and you can no longer be sure of it.
I taught the ethic of living in the moment. Living with what is present, but remembering what was in the past. To remember is to learn. To forget is to live in vain. If Big Brother's power was from ignorance, fear, and power, than I would say that the Brotherhood was based on intelligence, courage, and strategy.
Courage could not be taught, but it could be forced from people. There is a limit to which all people will turn from their cowardly ways and face their opponent. I was waiting for that moment. That moment never came in my lifetime. That moment would not come so quickly.
And, strategy would only work for so long. Strategy is the starting point. Strategy with no strength was a poor policy, a failing one at that. Strategy also required intelligence which was hard going in general.
The proles. sigh. what can I say about the proles? Nothing bad, I hope. I could think of numerous bad statements to make about the proles, but they are better compared to the Party members. That is the reason I created the Brotherhood based with proles. They are the future. It is undeniable. There is no way that the Party members, Inner or Outer could or ever would try to coup. A coup from the brainwashed part of society is ludicrous. I mock it in my head just to think of it.
So, educate the proles and hope that human nature and human desires will take over. That was my hope. My hope was not in vain though. The Brotherhood was. not a religion because there was no god involved with it. It was humans versus humans. If it got any more complicated than that, then the Brotherhood would never survive. The fact that I could simplify the life that Big Brother made for the proles was a leading force that attracted these people. I opened their eyes to some greater life. A life that everyone deserved. I did not teach them to hate the Party members but to hate the leaders. To hate the fact that both the Outer Party members and the proles lived a life that was not worth anything to Big Brother.
I placed the ideas of rebellion in their head. I placed it in their heart. I planted it in their very being. That was the Brotherhood. I did not want it to be like that. I didn't want it to become another mindless action led by some human that wanted to play God, that wanted to have all the power. I did not want the power. I wanted the power to be distributed. I wanted equality. I wanted change. A revolution. That's what I craved for.
Power never held any interest to me. I could have gone higher up the Big Brother Party chain, but something inside me rebelled. That is what the Brotherhood is. It is the part of everyone that rebels against something that feels so wrong that the discord of it reverberates through the bones and does not stop until action is taken. Action to change something when no one else will.
Mindless. It was never supposed to be action without thought. It was supposed to be the action that required deep thought. It was an inner conflict fought in the realm of physicality. It was frustrating. This Brotherhood. Ever since I was younger I could not stand the condition of life Big Brother made everyone (minus the Inner Party) live in. It was filth and inhumane. I could almost feel it. I made myself feel it. Another reason I wanted to work with the proles was so that I could somehow help them. Somehow make their lives less. dirty. Less, something that they would just give in to. They didn't know that their lives were supposed to be so much better than Big Brother made it to be. They didn't feel badly for themselves though, they didn't know any better. They probably only knew worse.
The empathy I had ripped the inside of my heart every day. I went undercover for a while, when I was just starting as a thought spy. I was a prole. They made me live as a prole. They made me remain in the proles' living towns for months. I guess they thought that if you even survived with the bombings and still remained faithful to Big Brother, than you could be a part of the thought police. It wasn't a life I would choose to live, but I could. I could survive, and that is where my inspiration came from. These proles that were my neighbors. They were the embodiment of hope.
The Brotherhood comes from empathy. Empathy, unfortunately cannot be taught. It cannot be ordered into someone. So, this emotion that ran so deep in my veins caused the whole movement. The Brotherhood was a movement of emotions. Big Brother wanted to kill it. Wanted to kill the loyalties we had to individuals. Those are the most important emotions we possess. The ones that go beyond our own welfare and into the next realm of caring. Big Brother cut that off when they severed the family ties.
Emotion.
It would be my demise.