Game Slave 2: The MUSICAL! (Act 2)

Scene I: The Parking Garage

Dib is walking through what appears to be an empty parking garage.

Dib, speaking: There's no Chupacabras in here! Gaz should leave the paranormal sightings to the experts. Now, where's the exit? Man, this place is bigger than I thought.

Lost
Dib: Where have I gotten to?
What on Earth shall I do?
Perhaps I can escape if I am clever...

But I have lost my way...
I might not get out today,
For this garage seems to last forever...

Lost! I am lost!
And I don't know how to get home...
Destiny's tossed
Me here; I am consigned to roam!

Oh tragic fate!
How could such things happen to me?
Is it too late
To change your terrible decree?

No longer will
I work to stop the evil Zim.
I'll miss the thrill
Of saving the Earth from his whim.

My life had seemed so purposeful
Before I came in here
Now things are not so blissful
And nothing is as clear
As it was...
Just because...

I have been lost!
No one will e'er again see me!
Fate, I accost
You; find some way to set me free!

The rat people slowly begin to creep out from all corners of the stage. As the song progresses, they move towards Dib.

We're a Cross Between People and Rats (http://www.broadwaymidi.com/down/Cats-JellicleSongsForJellicleCats04.mid)
Rat Person 1: Can you not find your car?
RP 2: Have you lost your 'ol dad?
RP 3: Or did you lose your way searching for section G?

RP 1: Well, we're really quite sor-
-ry, we hope you're not mad...
But you'll stay here forever; it happened to me!

The rat people start doing a weird dance.

Rat People: Because we once got lost in this garage too!
And soon we had become lost for good!
Before long we were not quite human.
We just know it will happen to you!

RP 4: There's no door where we are,
And I doubt that this calms,
But you should know that you won't escape anyways.

RP 5: Soon you'll eat from the gar-
-bage without any qualms.
RP 6: You will be one of us in a matter of days!

Rat People: Because we once got lost in this garage too!
And soon we had become lost for good!
Before long we were not quite human.
We just know it will happen to you!

We just know it will happen to you!

Dib: Come on, this is silly;
It just doesn't make sense!
Getting lost could not possibly do this to you.

It won't happen to me!
Well, I mean no offense,
But there is just no way what you say is true!

RP 1: You'll find out soon enough,
So we won't try to sway
Your opinion; But know that you'll soon join our clan!

RP 2: I thought this was a bluff
'Til I heard someone say
That they thought I was female; I once was a man!

Rat People: We're a cross between people and rats!
Yes, a cross between people and rats!
We're a cross between people and rats!
Yes, a cross between people and rats!
We're a cross between people and rats!

RP 3: We can root through a trash
Can to find our next meal,
And we scuttle whenever a car passes by!

RP 4: But try not to be rash;
This life has its appeal!
RP 5 & 6: We know that you will love it; just give it a try!

Rat People: We just know it will happen to you!
We just know it will happen to you!
We just know it will happen to you!
We just know it will happen to you!

We're a cross between people and rats!
Yes, a cross between people and rats!
We're a cross between people and rats!
Yes, a cross between people and rats!

The rat people finish their dance with a showy pose.

Dib, speaking: Uh... I think I see the exit over there! See ya!

Dib runs offstage. Blackout.

Scene II: Iggins' Room

Iggins is sitting on his bed playing on the Game Slave. His room has a poster of the Vampire Piggy Hunter and there is an open window near the bed. On one side of the stage, there is a small set to represent the closet.

Zombie Hogs, Here I Come
Iggins: This game is even easier than I recall
I really ought to give my back a pat.
And, barring a strange and unexpected pitfall,
I'll reach the zombie hogs in no time flat!

Soon, I can rightly say I am the piggy king!
I'll have won every level in the game.
And do you want to know what's the very best thing?
I will be in the piggy hall of fame!

Gamers worldwide will know my name!
Life will never be the same...
When I see the zombie hogs!

Oh...
Zombie hogs, here I come!
I'll get you, and you'll soon become
Bacon by the time that I am through!

Just try to make your kill;
You'll be no match for Iggins' skill!
You will just end up as piggy stew!

I can't wait; I know I'll revel
In the new zombie hog level!

Zombie hogs, here I come!
I know I'll beat you piggy scum
And be champ of all reality!

I'll beat them in a jiff
Until each pig's a piggy stiff,
Showing proof of my ability!

I'll beat each pig beast and devil
On the new zombie hog level!

Zombie hogs, here I come!
I'll win lots of points, and then some!
I can't wait, for I am almost there!

Just one level to win,
Then the new level will begin!
You zombie hogs had better beware!

I know I will...

The music stops abruptly as the light goes out.

Iggins, speaking: Hello? What's going on?

The light comes on again. The Vampire Piggy Hunter poster has been replaced with one that says 'The Game is Mine'.

Iggins, speaking: The gam-e is mine.

Iggins turns around. Lightning flashes and Gaz appears at the window. Iggins screams.

Iggins, speaking: Wait, how did you write that if you're out-

Lightning flashes again and Gaz has disappeared.

I'll Have My Revenge (Reprise)
Gaz's voice, coming from stage right: How could you cross me? How could you take it?
That Game Slave should have gone to me!

Iggins inches away from the voice, toward stage left.

Gaz's voice, stage left: Soon, you'll be sorry, and soon you'll admit
Your wrongdoing; you'll give an apology!

Iggins goes toward stage right, ending up at around center stage.

For you see...

Gaz's voice, center stage: You'll learn Gaz is not one to be messed with,
You will soon learn not to take my things if
You can't handle it when I scare you stiff.
I'll have my revenge!

Iggins screams and runs in the closet. The lights go off for a moment; a spotlight comes up on Iggins, who is in the closet set.

The Game Plan
I'll be safe here!
Free from all fear,
I'll play the game 'til it is saved!

Then I'll hide it
'Til I've decided
The scary girl's resolve has caved.

That's my game plan, I'll see through it.
I'll win if I just stick to it!

The Game Slave beeps melodically.

Batteries low?
This is a blow!
I need more to reach the save place.

I'll get more
From my secret stor-
-age; I know that I'll win with grace!

That's my game plan, I'll see through it.
I'll win if I just stick to it!

The spotlight on the closet set goes out, and the light comes on in the main stage. Iggins comes through the closet door, and sees Gaz, holding a bag with all the batteries.

Gaz, speaking: Looking for these?

Iggins, speaking: I need those! Save point... so close...

Gaz, speaking: What you need is to give the Game Slave to me or I will plunge you into a nightmare world from which there is no waking!

Iggins, speaking: But... I'm a better gamer than you!

I Hope You Like Nightmare Worlds
Gaz: You've made your last mistake
By choosing to forsake
The path of honesty one final time

I'll have my Game Slave back!
I tried to give you slack
But you just refused to listen; so I'm...

Going to show you a nightmare world!
Spooky Offstage Voices: Nightmare world!
Gaz: And as my revenge is now unfurled
SOV: Nightmare world!
Gaz: You'll rue the day
That you didn't let me play.
And you will pay!
With a life in a nightmare world!
Yes, a life in a nightmare world!

Say your farewells to a happy life!
SOV: Happy life!
Gaz: Say hello to neverending strife!
SOV: Lots of strife!
Gaz: And because you
Won't give me my Game Slave Two
I'll torture you
With a life in a nightmare world!
Yes, a life in a nightmare world!

Iggins: You're completely crazy!
A true mental case! See
Here; you need some help, you're really cuckoo!

Gaz: You pathetic moron!
I will get it; for on
Your soul I'll get what should be mine from you!

So now I'll show you a nightmare world!
SOV: Nightmare world!
Gaz: And as my revenge is now unfurled
SOV: Nightmare world!
Gaz: You'll rue the day
That you didn't let me play.
And you will pay!
So I hope you like nightmare worlds!
Yes, I hope you like nightmare worlds!

Gaz throws the batteries out the window; There is what appears to be an explosion. As Iggins screams in horror, there is a blackout.

Scene III: The Tower

There are two sets; a larger one to represent the various interiors of the building, and a smaller one for the elevator. On one side of the stage, there's a mock-up for the exterior of the tower, complete with a tiny movable elevator. Iggins, soaking from the rain, runs up to the clerk on the main set.

I Must Have
Iggins: Won't you hurry!
Get some batteries for me!
I'm desperate; can't you see!

I must have some batteries!
I must have them now!
Will you give them to me, please?
I need them, and how!

Batteries are my request;
Just give them to me!
Without them, I'll know no rest
So I'll pay any fee!

Clerk, speaking: Batteries? Fiftieth floor...

Iggins runs over to the elevator; spotlights are on the elevator and the mock-up. On the mock-up, the elevator is uncontrollably going up and down.

Iggins: What's happening?
Why can't I control this thing?
I'm getting a bad feeling...

The elevator on the mock-up stops briefly and Gaz gets on the elevator.

Iggins, speaking: You again?

Gaz: I must have vampire piggies!
I must have them now!
If you want torture to cease
To me you'll kow tow!

Give me the vampire piggies!
Iggins: I will get my batteries!
Gaz: Just give them to me!
Iggins: And then you will see...
Gaz: There are possibilities
Iggins: Once I get them, I'll be pleased.
Gaz: Of torture if you act stubbornly!
Iggins: You'll no longer hold power over me!

Gaz punches the control panel and the elevator on the mock-up goes out of control.

Iggins: Fine! I'll atone!
Now, please, will you disown
This revenge? Leave me alone!

Gaz takes the Game Slave. The elevator stops on the fiftieth floor and Gaz steps out. As Gaz leaves the elevator, a third spotlight follows her. A slow, almost hymnlike, tune begins to play.

Order Has Been Restored (ftp://ftp.snowcrest.net/pub/users/lassen/all_glory_laud_and_honor.mid)
Gaz: I have received what is mine;
Order has been restored.
I'll hunt the vampire swine
And no longer be bored.

The wrong has been vindicated
And I hath set things right
Twixt me and Iggins; 'Twas fated
That he'd repay his slight.

Iggins should have known better
Than be mine enemy.
He stole and was my debtor
And endured misery

This could not ever be mended
Lest I got my game back
And his wickedness had ended.
Things are at last on track.

Now that I have my Game Slave
The planet can resume
Its ordinary behave-
-ior; I cast off its gloom.

I play my game with gratitude.
So of my own accord
I lift my vengeful attitude.
Order has been restored.

I Will Always Be A Better Gamer
Iggins: Play all you want!
I will always be a better gamer!
You'll never flaunt
Your video game skills to acclaim or
Be a gamer half as good as me!

Go on and try!
I will always be better than you are!
You'll never vie
For my position; you'll remain sub-par
While I'm making gaming history!

I'll always be the best gamer around
My skills will remain great and profound
Think of this and you will be bound
To see...
You'll never be a better gamer than me!

My skills will always put me on top!
But even if you play and never stop,
As a gamer you'll still be a bit of a flop.
You see...
You'll never be a better...

Before Iggins finishes the verse, the elevator is engulfed in smoke and the elevator in the mock-up plummets to the ground. There is a brief blast of percussive music from the orchestra. Gaz goes back to her Game Slave. Blackout.

Scene IV: Outside the Tower

In the center of the stage are the remains of the elevator. Dib walks onstage.

Lost (Reprise)
Dib: Finally, I'm free!
I'm able to go home once more!
But I can't see
Why I am in this scene. Wherefore?

Oh, well. I'll sing
Until things are a bit more clear.
While I'm dawdling
Someone else might come over here!

Uh, la, la la...
La de da, shooby do wop wop!
La la de da,
And a la la...

Before Dib can finish, Iggins jumps out of the wreckage, unharmed.

Dib, speaking: Uh, hi. Who are you?

Iggins, speaking: Well...

Iggins begins to do a stereotypically Broadway dance.

I've Just Gotta Be Iggins (Reprise)
Iggins: I've just gotta be Iggins,
I've just gotta be me!
For if I were not Iggins,
Who on Earth would I be?

I will always be Iggins,
Of that fact I'm aware.
And I'm glad to be Iggins,
Gamer extraordinaire!

Like all of the best gamers, I have a ready store of spare lives;
In all situations, it's a cinch that Iggins survives!
I am so awesome that I can never be hurt by Death's designs!
Whatever the danger is, my life force never declines!

I'm always fine!

The whole cast dances behind Iggins, and a neon sign that says 'Iggins!' comes down.

All: He's just gotta be Iggins,
He's just gotta be he!
He'll be lovable Iggins,
For all eternity!

Some folks might not like Iggins,
But we really don't care!
For we're glad that he's Iggins,
Gamer... ex...traor...din...aire!

Cast bows, and curtain falls.

THE END
Actors will be signing programs outside the dressing room. At the request of Iggins, we ask that no audience members try to kick or otherwise abuse anyone in the cast. Thank you.