More Yamcha. Yippee. I forgot to mention the title of the first chapter is naturally a reference to RHPS "It was great when it all began… I was a regular Frankie fan." This chapter title is a throwback to Vertical Horizon. I feel the need to make you read the lyrics to song because it seems so appropriate. If you don't want to- I won't be offended- just skip over the followed italicized portion:
So you sailed away / Into a grey sky morning / Now I'm here to stay / Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now / I just say your name now
But it's not so bad / You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back / You're just the best I ever had
So you stole my world / Now I'm just a phony / Remembering the girl / Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter / Make yourself feel better
But it's not so bad / You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back / You're just the best I ever had
And it may take some time to Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I Run away and hide
And I may find in time that You were always right
You're always right
So you sailed away / Into a grey sky morning / Now I'm here to stay / Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted / Could it be I'm haunted
But it's not so bad / You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back / You're just the best I ever had / The best I ever had The best I ever
'Grey Sky Morning'
I woke up to a loud pounding on my wall.
I couldn't understand how anyone could be up at this ungodly hour, nevertheless doing manual labor.
My head lolled to one side enough for me to make out the numbers on my clock.
So… maybe it wasn't such an ungodly hour. I was actually surprised that I had slept in so late. I tried to recall what had happened the night before to wear me out so.
Thinking was starting to hurt though, and I realized with a groan that the loud and painful pounding was coming from inside my head.
I closed my eyes and tried to will the headache away.
Vague remnants from a dream began to filter through my muddled brain.
Something blue…
Was Bulma there?
And ringing… an alarm clock? a phone?
I sat up quickly –a little too quickly, or so my head protested. I tried to send a death glare to the now empty bottle mocking me from its perch on my nightstand but only managed a bleary squint.
The conversation from the previous day was coming back to me chunks at a time.
I covered my mouth as bile rose in my throat.
Chunks really wasn't the best word to use at the moment.
I managed to make it to the bathroom before I lost the contents of my stomach.
It was almost fitting, I thought somewhat wryly, that the day I would see my blue-eyed goddess after all this time would start with my head in the toilet.
By the time I emptied my stomach and wiped my face off, I was ready to lose it again.
I had about fifteen minutes before she was to arrive.
I looked around at the mess that was my apartment's current state and had to fight to not just blast all the junk to oblivion. I nudged an empty pizza box under my couch with one foot, and called it good enough. We weren't together anymore, she had no control over how I lived my life. Thinking a show of resistance was in order -to prove my independence- I changed into a pair of old sweats and a T-shirt that had seen better days. I wasn't going to dress up for her. On the same note I forwent a shower and merely splashed some cold water onto my face. I was looking forward to having her meet bachelor-me. I was debating the merits of even just going back to sleep when I heard her knock.
I don't know how anyone could infest another's being so, but she had crawled her way so deep inside of me, even her knock registered pain somewhere in my heart.
I opened the door and tried to affect a casual pose as she stepped into my home. Her eyes widened at she took in the filth and mess, then noticed the state of the room. I was growing more anxious by the second as she tried to reconcile the image before her with however she imagined me. I felt like screaming at her, like shouting at her all the things I'd been thinking. That this was me and the clean cut neat boyfriend she knew was the imposter. That she had made me everything I ever was and how dare she look at me like I had changed. But when her eyes turned to me, and I saw the pity in them, all I felt was shame. I steeled myself for whatever she could say. I had to be strong in this.
So naturally she says the one thing I have no defense for.
"You look the way I feel."
I couldn't meet her gaze.
"Why are you here, Bulma?"
I tried to be blunt, and not hear the emotion in her voice.
"I told you. I wanted to talk."
She wants to talk and my life gets thrown upside down.
"Why? After all this time, why?"
"I don't know, Yamcha. Can't we still be friends?"
She had to say my name. I tried to cover up how much it unnerved me.
"Friends?"
"Yeah, friends." She stared at me, forcing me to meet her eyes. I don't know what she was looking for, but I don't think she found it. "I mean, we did care for each other, right? I don't want that to stop just because we aren't 'together' anymore."
"We cared for each other? That's what you're calling it now? I thought we were 'in love', I thought we were 'soul mates', I thought we were supposed to be together forever." I echoed the words she had fed me through out our relationship. Maybe they had just been words.
"I did love you, but things change…"
"'Love is not love that alters with alteration.'" I quipped without thinking.
Oh god.
Did I just-?
Maybe she won't catch it.
"Did you just quote Shakespeare?"
I'm such a woman.
I looked away, denial wasn't an option but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of admitting it.
"You did, you just quoted Shakespeare!"
Something in the tone of her voice made me snap. What? So now I'm too dumb to know Shakespeare? Is that what she's trying to say?
"Yeah, I did. You want to make something out of it?"
"No… I was just surprised. I mean… I didn't know you-"
"Could read? Been doing it for a while now."
"No, I just didn't realize you were into poetry."
"Yeah, well there's a lot you don't know about me." It was kind of exhilarating, turning the tables on her like this. For once I was the one that wasn't taking any shit. I could feel the blood pumping through my veins as I shed the role of worshiper.
"I'm sorry Yamcha, I didn't mean-"
"You never mean. You just do. Damn the consequences because you're above all that."
"Why are you being so cruel?" She spun away from me and raced to the door, but not before I had glimpsed a tear in her eye.
What had I done?
All my anger fled me leaving bitter regret.
Would every memory of her be so tinged?
Somehow, I had to fix this.
