By the Link Worshiper
~oOo@ Part II ~ I Feel So.... @oOo~
"But Commander," the man said, the hand held over his forehead in a rigid salute quivering with nervousness, "the target was well armed and pulled some rather fancy tricks with his car. It was hard for our man to get a good shot at him from a motorcycle."
"And how do you know this?" the woman asked calmly, stroking her gun.
"I-I saw the whole thing," the soldier was starting to sweat furiously. He tugged at his collar as he went on. "I managed to execute the man before he gave away any real vital information."
"You are sure?" the woman said.
"Absolutely, Commander Stella," he saluted again. "I swear it on my life! I told you I saw the whole incident with my own two eyes!"
"You were watching and you wasted a bullet on the biker instead of using it to kill the pilot?" Stella exclaimed, a hand clutched to her head in frustration, unable to believe that one of her handpicked squad could practice such poor judgment. She removed her hand from her face and replaced it on her hip where her trusty gun hung.
"It was my training to kill someone in that position!" the soldier protested.
"It was also your training to make sure the mission is completed at all costs," Stella rejoined. "Obviously, you were not trained well enough. How could you be so careless?"
"I'm… I'm sorry!" the soldier tried to avert his commander's gaze, hoping to everything holy that she would cut the transmission at that and not exercise any further punishment.
"You're sorry," Stella said in a mocking voice. "You're sorry? Is that all you can tell me? This whole operation rests on whether or not people like you can do their job right! Now all you have accomplished is making Heero Yuy suspicious that someone is after him. If I'm correct in my assumption, he will have looked into the matter further! And you can't even tell me what he knows or if he has any idea at all of what we are and what we want! Good job, soldier!" she added sarcastically. At that she ended the transmission and barked at a crewmember standing beside her; "Go prepare another B-Class and assemble a new team. Tell them that in addition to making sure that Heero Yuy is eliminated they must also be sure to kill that useless soldier who failed to properly complete his assignment. Dismissed!"
"Maxwell! Get the hell in here!" Heero's voice echoed through the apartment, bringing an expecting Duo walking innocently from his bedroom.
"What is it Hee-chan?" Duo folded his hands behind his head, knowing full well what had pissed Heero off. The night before, when Duo had realized that Heero had password protected any files that would have been worth looking at, Duo decided to exact revenge by promptly logging online and book-marking a few of his favourite porn sites up on the laptop for Heero's viewing pleasure.
"Get this trash off of my hard drive!" Heero growled angrily, jerking a thumb at the computer and glaring at Duo menacingly.
"Can't you do it? I thought you were supposed to be all good with computers and stuff," Duo said sarcastically, purposefully walking to the kitchen to get some food for breakfast.
"I could do it, but you're the one who put that crap up there and I want you to get rid of it because you're the one who did it," Heero snarled. "So forget your damn stomach and get over here."
"What, you afraid to look?" Duo said sweetly as he sauntered over to the couch one which Heero was kneeling, staring that death glare at Duo as he approached, a leftover cold-cut sandwich and the rest of that Coca-Cola in his hands. "Ooh, I think we've found the perfect soldier's weakness! Haha!"
"Don't joke with me. You know I don't like it," Heero dropped back down on the sofa, sitting regularly again, folding his arms as he waited sulkily for Duo to come over.
"Oh come on Hee-chan, you know you like a good laugh once in a blue moon," Duo said, Heero's obvious discontent unable to phase his cheerful good mood.
At this, Heero grabbed Duo by the black Nirvana tee shirt that he slept in and gave him a good shake, nearly making Duo drop his breakfast (which could have made for a very large mess for Duo to clean up under Heero's icy glare). "I dare you to call me that name again, Maxwell. Just know, I'll make sure to shoot you in the foot and in the arm before I blast your skull open."
"Now don't go making idle threats like that, Heero," Duo said, sticking out his tongue. "That's more or less what you told me the last time I called you that and look, I'm still alive! Something tells me that you have a soft spot for Shinigami!"
"Don't make me want to be sick," Heero rolled his eyes as he dropped Duo to the floor. Upon impact, Duo did end up dropping the sloppy chili smeared sandwich and Coke, making a rather sticky mess on the white carpet. "Hn, I hope you've got nothing planned for the day, because you'll be cleaning that up as well."
"Figures," Duo muttered as he lethargically stood and made his way to the kitchen for some dishtowels, annoyed that Heero could barely take a joke. He hated it when his pranks backfired like this.
"And none of your mouth!" Heero shouted after Duo's droopy figure as he walked into the kitchenette. Duo threw a thumbs-up sign over his shoulder, his head disappearing beneath the bar to get the towels.
Around noon, after relieving the computer of the dirty web pages, Duo had finally finished scrubbing the stain out of the carpet, the reddish brown splotch barely visible anymore, though Duo knew that Heero would always notice it and always remind Duo his carelessness. Personally, Duo thought that it gave the place at least a smidgen of personality, a feature the rest of the apartment (aside from his room) sorely needed. But the fact that Heero could come at him with blows to his pride was enough to make him want to puke all over that horrible perfect white carpet.
"You're finished?" Heero's dark monotone sprang from behind the cracked door of his forbidden Duo-safe bedroom.
"Oh yes, Your Royal Highness, the Prince of Bitchiness," Duo called back in a sing-songy voice.
Heero emerged from his bedroom, laptop tucked under one arm as he glowered at the braided American sitting on the arm of the sofa, a ratty old cloth slung over his shoulder. "That's another name that just might get you killed, Maxwell," he growled softly as he walked over to the sofa and sat down, bending over to set up his computer on the coffee table.
"Whatcha doing there?" Duo asked, trying to be annoyingly curious, though he found his comments fell on deaf ears.
"Sit down," Heero ordered. "There's something I want you to see."
"Oh really?" Duo said in a devious voice. "What would that be? If it's porn or something, you can bet I've probably been there, done that, though I can understand why you'd be so excited about it since you've definitely never really looked before."
"Shut up and stop being so damn crude," Heero threw an elbow into Duo's ribs a little harder than necessary. "This is much more important than any of your sick minded little games, Maxwell. There's some information on this… Stella…."
"Who?" Duo was confused, and the flummoxed look on his face sure showed it as he slid onto the couch beside the messy haired Japanese boy.
"Yesterday, a man on a motorcycle tried to kill me and before he died, he mentioned a person he referred to as 'Commander Stella,'" Heero explained as though he had memorized it by rote for some drill-sergeant teacher as he booted up the computer again. "I figured this person was the one who had ordered me to be killed, so naturally I wanted to figure out who it was, and here we are." Heero's fingers flew over the keyboard, typing in his password and then logging into some other password protected files. "I got these offline a few hours ago. Apparently a mysterious star cruiser is fast approaching Earth's orbit, a starship under the command of a woman named Stella. She left the Barton Foundation a few years before the commencement of Operation METEOR and has been missing ever since, classified as dead in some databases even. But here she is, coming out of nowhere."
Duo looked over Heero's shoulder, scanning the information on the strange lady. "So what do you think she wants here?"
"Can't be good," Heero said simply.
"Well duh," Duo smacked his forehead deftly. "Maybe she wants to abduct Relena or something like that Mariemaia had done a few years ago."
"I'm not going through the pain of going to save her unless not doing so puts the world in danger this time," Heero announced with crossed arms. "It's too much trouble for one woman who is simply always in the way."
"Eh, politicians," Duo said with a shrug, "never did care for 'em much. Can't trust 'em too much either, you know?"
"I agree."
"You do?" Duo said with mock surprise. "Amazing. Maybe you're sick, Hee-chan, because you've been acting so delightful lately!"
Suddenly Duo had Heero's gun pointed between his eyes. Duo let out a nervous chuckle as Heero said coldly, "Don't think I won't do it, Maxwell, because I will. If I hear that damn pet name one more time I swear…."
"God, calm down," Duo threw his arms up in surrender. As Heero removed the gun and slid it back into his shirt, Duo decided to change the subject. But just as he was about to speak, a soft chime pealed through the apartment. "Huh, looks like someone's at the door. You go get it. I'm too incompetent."
"You're damn lazy, that's what you are," Heero grumbled as he stood up and walked over to the door. He pressed the button on the intercom and said in his usual unwavering monotone. "Yeah, who is it?"
"Heero? You're home!" Relena's disgustingly excited voice penetrated the room. Duo rolled his eyes and leaned on the arm of the sofa, amused at watching Heero's face twist heatedly. "You never called, so I just decided to drop on by. Can I come up?"
"We're busy. Can't you come another time?" he half groaned, half snapped.
"But Heero, I cam all the way from Earth to say hello to you! It's been so long since we saw each other," she complained. She probably had more to say, but Heero swiftly cut the intercom off and started to walk away from the door.
"I thought I told you to call her!" Duo shouted across the room, only to get a stare of daggers from Heero.
"I forgot," he shrugged.
"People like you don't just forget," Duo accused. "Come on, I know you don't like talking to her, but it's not nice to totally ignore her like that. You treat her like you treat me, and as far as I'm concerned, it's okay, but that's not a very nice way to treat a girl."
"I don't believe in changing your attitude towards someone based on their sex," Heero replied harshly. "If she's ever going to get the idea that I don't need her in my life anymore, then I have to treat her this way."
"No you don't," Duo frowned at his companion, who was staring blankly at the computer screen, his face bathed in the white artificial light. "No matter what you feel, you can't just be that nasty old Heero to everyone."
"Look, you don't know her like I do," Heero said, leaning forward, resting on his elbows. "So just keep to your own damn business."
"Well I heard the conversations, I've talked to her on the phone. I think I'm involved now. Now I'm not saying that I take her side or anything, but…" Duo was saying in an assertive voice, when the sound of the lock in the door sliding back interrupted his train of thought. Heero whipped around to see the door glide open, Relena beginning to walk in, saying something about the wonders of cardkeys that had bypass codes. Duo could see the gears turning in Heero's head as he tried to think of something to do and fast. The hasty conclusion he came to, however, was the last thing that Duo ever thought that Heero would come up with.
Without a word, he had grabbed Duo fiercely by the wrists and pushed him down on his back before pressing his lips hard against the braided American's mouth, kissing him with cold unfeeling lips. Duo's eyes widened with surprise, caught completely unawares by Heero's actions.
Now Duo had kissed and made out with his fair share of boys, but there definitely was something in Heero's kiss was completely void of any and all passion and yet, somehow it felt uncontrollably right. If Heero wanted Relena to get the wrong idea, well, it had to look good, did it not? So Duo reached up and wound one around Heero's torso and the other around his neck, burying his long-fingered hand in the mess of thick brown hair as he pushed Heero's lips closer against his, opening his mouth slightly to let his tongue caress Heero's pretty lower lip.
"Heero?" Duo vaguely heard Relena's voice as she walked into the room. "Heero? What is this? Who is that?"
A small smile of bittersweet triumph crossed Duo's face as Relena took in the sight before her. Just to make the scene ever more erotic, he swung a leg around Heero's lower body, pulling the perfect soldier ever closer to him. Duo was really getting into this, having maybe a little more fun than he should have been. Then he went on to roll Heero on his side so that Relena had a clear view of just who her obsession had been crawling all over.
"Duo?" her voice cracked. "Heero and… Duo?" Then her voice became harder as she said in a darker voice, "I always knew there was something not right going on between you two. I never could quite put my finger on it, but I knew I always hated the way he looked at you, Heero."
Next thing Heero realized, he was the one on his back with Duo still kissing him a bit more passionately than what he considered to be in the safe-zone. He had not quite been sure what to expect out of Duo, this desperation move being the only thing that came to mind in an effort to get Relena out of the way for good. Now she had left, the sound of the door slamming shut making that evident. Mission accomplished, but Duo was still kissing him. It made him feel tense, putting thoughts in his head that he really did not want to even remotely consider. "Off, Maxwell," he muttered against Duo's mouth as he pushed the other boy off.
"That was exhilarating, Hee-chan," Duo giggled, knowing that there was no way for Heero to get at his gun with him straddling the Japanese boy like that. "You could use some lessons on kissing though. I'd be glad to give you some pointers. You show potential to be perfect in that respect too."
"It's not a field that interests me," Heero quipped menacingly, trying to push a relentless Duo off of him.
"Aw come on buddy, it could be fun," Duo said with a smile, bouncing up and down on Heero's chest a few times before leaning down to try and kiss Heero again.
"Get off you little slut!" Heero gave Duo a hearty shove upwards, sending the chestnut haired boy throttling backwards off the sofa. "She's gone, end of story. I don't need you—stop looking at me that way Maxwell!"
But Duo found he was staring at Heero in a way he never had before. That kiss had done something to him, a new sort of feeling for the ex Wing pilot kindling inside. Never before had Duo noticed just how… beautiful… his roommate was. Every detail, from the tiny flecks of light blue in his Prussian eyes to the exact curve of his neck and the way his hair fell over his face were no longer lost on Duo. It was like the kiss had opened up a gateway to feelings that had always been there but just needed a little help reaching the surface. All that time, it had been an undying love that had kept Duo glued to Heero's side. But then there was that horrible glare Heero was giving him, a look that made Duo shudder internally.
They sat there, their eyes combating in a facial stare-down, Duo's eyes riddled with a mysterious new passion for Heero, and Heero's face chiseled in a mask of unfeeling contempt. He snarled at Duo, "Don't you dare get any kinky ideas, Maxwell, as I know you're bound to with that perverse American brain of yours. That meant nothing to either of us, you hear?"
…But nevertheless… Duo had decided right then and there that he had loved the way Heero tasted like sweet spring rain….
Duo fell asleep that night clutching his flower inscribed radio to his breast. It reminded him of that day in the rain when Heero had found him in that drenched back alley and taken him in. And even after all these years, Duo still kept hold on that little transistor radio, unable to let go of it. If I ever get that stereo, well, I don't suppose I would get rid of this old thing anyway, he said quietly to himself. Maybe it can't really play music well and it's more static than actual sound but… it's scarred with so many memories…. I can't just throw my past away like that… it means too much to me. He weaved his fingers into his braid, another memento of older days. He had his hair to remind him of that damned church and the day that ended his innocence and his tinny little radio to remind him of… Heero….
He pressed the little round power button on the radio, the little red light glowing as it turned on. Fumbling around with the tuning in the dark, Duo tried to find a song that could lull him to sleep without thinking about that kiss he had stolen from Heero. Finding something satisfying, a quiet acoustic tune Duo often liked to play in the dark hours of night on his guitar when he could not sleep. Now its peaceful strains and the singer's beautifully raspy voice began to make his eyelids droop and his mind find peace.
They painted up your secrets,
With the lies they told to you.
And the least they ever gave you,
Was the most you ever knew.
And I wonder where these dreams go,
When the world gets in your way.
What's the point in all this screaming?
No one's listening anyway.
With closed eyelids, Duo could do nothing but listen to the music in the shadowy darkness around him. The words, no matter how hard he tried not to listen, spoke of Heero and his angry, almost sad disposition. Maybe… just maybe Heero feels unloved and ignored, Duo mused to himself. Is he just screaming to be noticed? Maybe that's why he keeps me around; he likes the attention I give him…. Duo shook his head violently at the thought as another notion to counter the said theory popped into his mind. Aw, but then why not Relena? God knows she gives lots of attention to him. So it can't be that…. And then there was that awful glare he gave me today. He's never looked at me with so much hatred before! Was it that… that kiss? He didn't talk to me after that… I bet he's going to kick me out tomorrow. Duo shuddered at the thought, unable to imagine a life without that icy soul looming nearby.
Your voice is small and fading,
And you're hiding here unknown.
And your mother loves your father,
'Cause she's got nowhere to go.
And she wonders where these dreams go,
'Cause the world got in her way.
What's the point in ever trying?
Nothing's changing anyway.
Duo, for the first time in all his existence, felt truly confused. Trying to dissect Heero's psyche and then bewilderment at his own forwardness that day when Relena had barged in. He found himself unable to fall asleep (as usual) and groping for the guitar that he kept leaning at the foot of his bed and took it up on his knee, strumming along with the tune and singing quietly along. Aw, but why should it matter so damn much? There's always Hilde to go crawling back to… we're all patched up after that little incident again. She said I could call if ever…. But then there's Heero…. He'd be all alone….
They press their lips against you,
And you love the lies they tell.
And they try so hard to reach you,
But you're falling anyway.
And you know I see right through you,
'Cause the world gets in your way.
What's the point in all this screaming?
You're not listening anyway.
Duo's eyes were wide now, his arms hanging over the body of the black guitar as he stared up at the anti-Christ symbol he had spray-painted on the black ceiling of his room, its red lines barely visible in the darkness. Is that it? Heero doesn't want to be alone? I'd have to agree with you there, old buddy. Loneliness is a scary thing, I think. I'm more afraid of that than death. To be forgotten is worse than that. And if you're listening, Yuy, you arrogant bastard, well just know that no matter how hard you try to hide it, you're a human as well. I would swear on my life that you're just as afraid of that as I am... the loneliness that is… and your mortality…. After all… you let me you're your face…. Those were the last things he thought as he crept into the realm of dreams, wondering what Heero would say if he ever tried to sit down and talk to him about his real feelings on life.
Pretty sky, pretty beach, pretty sea… Duo found himself standing in the most picturesque world he could have ever hoped to imagine. It was quite pleasant fiction; probably the most inviting his mind had been able to come up with in a long while. His dreams were usually riddled with death and flashes of the more grisly moments of the war with OZ but this time… it was peaceful. How odd, his dream self muttered. I've never felt so calm.
Suddenly, out of the mist came a slim figure, shadowed by the moist clouds that hung over the ground. Duo found himself stumbling towards the person, saying with his usual cheer. "It's amazing here, don't you think?"
The person said nothing and just stood in the same place, watching the longhaired boy come nearer. As Duo approached, he saw the unknown person turn abruptly around and start to walk away, pausing every now and then to let Duo run and catch up, only to keep walking down the beach again. "Hey wait up!" Duo heard his voice echo through the dream. "Who're you? Don't you have a name?"
At the sound of the question, the person turned around and Duo watched the stranger give a melancholy shake of the head. No….
And then Duo found himself awake again, lost in the dark, with only his radio to keep him company in the ungodly hours of the morning, wondering who it was he had been dreaming about and what he was going to do the next time he saw Heero.
The solar lights that illuminated the colony had not even begun to activate that morning yet, but still, Heero Yuy had risen, early as usual and ready for another assignment. He kept the information about the enigma known only as Stella filed in the back of his head, should anything else turn up and went about his usual morning routine of sipping a cup of strong black coffee while reading the morning paper.
There was the sound of a door opening, and Heero instinctively looked up to see Duo walk out of his room, his usual Nirvana bedtime shirt half hanging out of his black sweatpants as he sleepily rubbed his eyes. Heero looked up for a split second, his eyes communicating his surprise that Duo was actually awake at such an hour. Without a word, Duo walked into the kitchen, eyeing Heero briefly as well, wondering what whether or not the Japanese boy still regarded yesterday's events as a problem or not as he filled his usual blue mug up with a good cup of java and dumped a generous amount of sugar into the brew. Then he hopped up on the barstool next to Heero's, reached for the comics and the Style section of the paper, two parts of the press that were always discarded by the perfect soldier and pretended to be absorbed in the articles printed on the pages as mulled over his own feelings from the night before once more.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Duo asked after fifteen minutes of awkward silence. He was ignored by Heero, who barely even bothered to give him an acknowledging grunt in response to the question. Still without a word, Heero folded up the newspaper and tucked it under his arm, downing the rest of his coffee in a single gulp as he grabbed his laptop and silently made for the door. Duo called after him, his words only noticed by the slamming of the door; "You know, you don't always have to take everything so goddamned seriously all the time!"
Being as Duo had never really been awake at such a time before to see Heero off, he did not know whether or not Heero was always like that in the morning or if there really was something on his mind. Maybe he's thinking about Relena…. Maybe he regrets what he did to her…. I should perhaps call her and apologize? Though it would have never worked if I hadn't been so damn… enchanted… by him…. Duo nearly spit out his coffee when his brain actually registered the thoughts that were streaming so easily through his mind. Here are those disturbing thoughts come to riddle my poor head again! It was just the heat of the moment, that's all. Heero is just… well… Heero. Like hell I'd be attracted to that unfeeling lump of oiled machinery!
"Dear God, I'm letting this bother me way too much," Duo said aloud with a heavy sigh as he folded his hands behind his head, kicking his bare feet up on the countertop (a move that would have made Heero seethe, had he been home). "It's just because Heero was being his usual boring stupid self that I'm all worked up. The man just can't have fun with anything and I'm letting his nasty demeanor crunch my style, that's all." Duo nodded to himself, pleased with that assessment. "So I'll just call Relena right now and say that I'm sorry for being such an asshole. Even she deserves that, I think."
He told himself that, but found a way to avoid really picking up the phone for about an hour as he deliberately went about making himself a large homemade breakfast and took his time about actually cleaning up his mess. Then he plucked up the courage, grabbed the phone and rang the operator up so that he could get a connection down to Earth.
Ringing, ringing….
"Hello? Vice Minister Dorlan speaking," her voice said over the crackly communicator.
"Relena?" Duo said, nervously twiddling the cord with his free hand, a habit he seemed to have developed when he was having a really unwanted conversation on the telephone.
"Duo," her voice became immediately stiff and cold. "Yes, Mr. Maxwell, what can I do for you?" The business-like tone in her voice made Duo even more uneasy, and it was then that he knew that she at least, had not forgotten what had ensued the day before.
"Uh, Relena," Duo stammered as he clenched the cord in a tight fist. "You know, about when you came up to visit us yesterday, well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" she sounded curious, thought that hardened tone still remained in her voice, like she wanted to hear him admit to what he had done and then make him beg for forgiveness.
"Well, you know," Duo started staring above him, noticing for the first time that there was a very slight erosion on the ceiling above the row of barstools from the plumbing of the flat above. "When you came in and all, you surprised us and I—"
"Yes, apparently I did," she hissed almost unkindly. "What are you trying to say, Mr. Maxwell? I have a lot of work I need to get done this morning, so if you would kindly hurry up whatever it is you need to say…."
"It meant nothing!" he spat out quickly, almost doubting his own words as he spoke them, wondering if he really meant that.
"Did it?" She sounded skeptical to believe him.
"You know me," he said, slipping back into his casual smart-ass routine. "Duo Maxwell here. I may run, I may hide, but I sure as hell don't lie."
"There's a first time for everything," she said coldly. "I'm not as stupid as you'll take me for, Mr. Maxwell. I can tell a lie from when I hear it. I would appreciate it much more if you were straightforward with me. Tell me what you really wanted to say. I don't like you dancing around your point this way."
Duo sucked in a breath, unbelieving of what he was about to say to her. "Alright, alright, you want the 100% Duo Maxwell truth, then you got it. I liked it, okay? I liked kissing your boy and there's nothing you can really do to change that. Did he? I don't think so; he said himself it meant nothing to him. But I just want you to know that I feel bad about touching the one you have your eyes on and if you want him, don't worry, I'll back off. I'm sure he'd even much rather you than me anyway."
"Is that what you've wanted to tell me?" she asked, obviously giving thought to his words. He could hear the slightest sound of elation in her voice as she spoke. "Well Mr. Maxwell—err, Duo—I do really appreciate your call. I'll keep what you've said in mind. And please, don't hesitate to call… either of you." Duo knew that really meant, have Heero call me, or you just might find your ass in prison, Maxwell.
"Yeah," he said softly. The fluttering of his heart started to give him away. "Oh and Relena, just one more thing."
"Hmm?" she seemed much more cheerful than she had when their conversation had started.
"Don't think it changes what I feel." Duo could barely hear himself speak those words. He slammed down the receiver in a rush of embarrassed haste.
Rubbing his forehead, Duo slid off the stool and thought about what he had said for a brief second. I love Heero? Like hell I do… I don't even know what the hell I feel anymore. Duo was skeptical to believe it himself, maybe because he was still a little dazed by the kiss and Relena and just everything that had come swirling by him in the last few hours or perhaps even because he had just enjoyed torturing Relena with suggestions such as that. But no matter what, Duo decided he needed to get his mind off these contradicting thoughts and went off to find some distraction to occupy him for the rest of the day until Heero came back, like the exalted television. It was frightening how Duo was nothing more than an insecure youth without him.
Heero had found his way to a small sushi bar on the other end of town where he had just met with another client. Easy money, he mused as he thoughtfully chewed on a piece of tempura, his other hand flying over the keys of his ever-present laptop. It's almost getting boring to do this kind of work anymore. He shook his head, swallowing hard. No, that's just your emotions getting the better of you, Yuy. Ignore it! Think of what you need to survive!
He went back to working on the codes he would need to hack into the database his client wished information from, still sucking on the same piece of shrimp tempura, his mind so involved in his work that he barely realized how rude he looked with the batter-covered fish hanging out of his mouth. He found himself wondering what Duo was doing with himself, hoping to high heaven that everything would be okay back at the apartment. After yesterday's little… incident… Heero was not quite sure how Duo had taken the whole ordeal. Even he had to admit he had been a little hard on the American, especially since he was just obviously trying to help him kick Relena out of the house. I was unfair to catch him off guard like that, Heero was reasoning to himself. Then again, on second thought, he was not quite sure if it had been the actual act of kissing that would have stirred Duo's emotions in an unfriendly direction.
"Excuse me Sir?" a voice said, interrupting his thoughts. Heero looked up to see a pretty young waitress standing over him expectantly.
"What?" Heero's face was the very picture of annoyance. He hated being dragged back into reality when he had such precious little time to let his mind really wander.
"Main course?" she asked, waving her little pad of paper for taking orders.
Heero rolled his eyes, a little annoyed. He cursed silently under his breath in Japanese before rattling off a list of his favourite sushi and returning moodily to his work. She flounced off, glaring over her shoulder heatedly at the angry young man sitting by the window typing madly on his laptop.
But inevitably, Heero found his mind bored with the mechanical mathematics of code breaking and soon his thoughts were back on Duo. He has so many different emotions, and he's not one to let you see the storm when it's brewing. Then there's me, who he seems to be able to read like a godforsaken book. Yes, he did remember the last time Duo had raged like that. He had come home, as usual, and found Duo sitting on the floor of his room, his knees pressed against his chest and an empty bucket of black paint and two used cans of red spray-paint lying at his side. Half his once white room had been attacked with a paintbrush, black colour sloppily smeared over the walls and then further assailed with rebellious words and symbols from the red spray cans. That had been a few days after he had just taken Duo in, after the apparent war to end all wars with Hilde.
"What the hell did you do, Duo?" Heero exclaimed as he pushed to door open.
"What's it look like I did?" His voice was low and morose, his eyes flashing lightning bolts in Heero's direction. "Leave me alone, Yuy. I don't need your bullshit right now."
"If you wanted the walls black, I could have done it for you," Heero said, his voice dropping to that freezer like tone again. "You don't need to go mutilating a perfectly good paintjob with bad handiwork."
"Are you still here?" he looked up again, his eyes still dictating a thunderous storm from beneath the brim of his black baseball cap, speaking in a tone that Heero was sure he had never heard Duo use before… not towards him anyway. Had he been crying then? He was sure that was the first time he had seen anyone cry. "A brick like you could never understand what I'm feeling right now! Just get lost!"
Heero shook his head, unwilling to give much thought to that particular memory. It was depressing to see the only bit of cheerfulness in his world snuff out like that. To appease him, Heero had taken the time to nicely paint Duo's room black, though Duo insisted that he be allowed to keep the red spray painted marks. If it meant keeping Duo happy, Duo usually got it, so long as whatever it was was quiet and unobtrusive. Life was depressing enough with him in good spirits, no matter how annoying he got.
Soon Heero got thinking about the day before once more. So maybe it wasn't just kissing him. Aw, maybe it was the way I was silent this morning… or perhaps when I yelled at him yesterday? God knows what that bastard is really thinking…. Suddenly his face became hard, chiseled into the stony mask of some bleak statue. And God cares! I don't need to waste my time thinking about what he felt about it. Relena's out of the way, mission complete, end of story.
"Sushi," the waitress came back holding a large plate of the raw fish delicacies. That was something about thinking too hard; one never knew quite how long they had been doing so until reality kicked back in. She set it down on the table and walked off.
Heero took his time eating. Dining alone did have its advantages, the first and foremost being that there was no competition with Duo for food though Heero knew his chopstick skills were infinitely better than Mr. Dive-Right-In-Screw-All-Else-and-To-Hell-with-Utensils.
Just as he was about midway through his plate though, his laptop flashed a message across the screen. "Heero_Yuy/Urgent Message!" Abandoning his chopsticks, Heero was upon his keyboard faster than a bat out of hell. With a few quick mouse clicks, the e-mail was open and being read by Heero's darkened eyes. "It seems that Stella is more than I had previously reasoned. And so the waltz begins again."
"Duo?" he opened the door, home earlier than the American would have expected, though it was still quite late (nearly midnight), calling out in his mysterious monotone. "Duo? We have work to do!" There was nothing but silence to greet the stoic Japanese boy standing in the front hall with his computer tucked under his arm. Hn must have gone out or something. Can't expect him to be home all the time….
Taking his time, Heero hung his coat up on the peg in the wall without a second thought, his little habits so mechanical and repeated that he rarely had to think about them anymore. He fixed himself a cup of coffee and went carried it to his bedroom, opening the door with a thrust of his hip, as his arms were full with the computer and his red mug. Barely glancing up from his feet, he set the mug down and set up his computer. Hearing something that sounded suspiciously like the crackling of Duo's little tin radio and an occasional light snore, Heero turned around, nearly falling over when he beheld the sight before him.
"Duo?"
There lay Duo, freshly showered and wrapped in a large white towel, stretched out on Heero's large double bed, his long chocolate coloured hair, free of his braid, melting all over the sheets and the towel that once confined it, little droplets of water clinging to each silken strand, fast asleep. He rarely had seen Duo with his hair long before, and he found it strangely enticing, his fingers wanting nothing more than to weave themselves in that mess of beautiful hair. He found himself drawn to the edge of the bed, where he was soon sitting, watching Duo sleep, his back rising and falling slightly with each breath with the radio clutched tightly in one hand, playing softly.
Sometimes, I wish I was brave,
I wish I was stronger, wish I could feel no pain.
Wish I was young, wish I was shy.
Wish I was honest,
Wish I was you, not I.
'Cause I feel so mad, I feel so angry!
Feel so calloused, so lost, confused again!
Feel so cheap, so used, unfaithful!
Let's start over, let's start over….
"Damn bastard, always going places he ought not to go," Heero muttered as he continued to survey the sleeping boy beside him. "You're lucky that you have some benefit around here, or I swear I could have killed you a long time ago."
Sometimes, I wish I was smart.
I wish I made cures for how people are.
I wish I had power, I wish I could lead.
I wish I could change the world,
For you and me….
'Cause I feel so mad, I feel so angry!
Feel so calloused, so lost, confused—
Heero gently pried the radio out of Duo's sleepy hand and switched the power off. Quietly, deciding that the way Duo's hair dripped in such magnificent torrents over his body was too… too pleasing, Heero set about to gently (yet still rather stiffly) braiding Duo's soft hair, still talking aloud to the sleeper in a hard unchanging voice. "Hn, you're pretty quiet when you're not awake," he mused as he slowly folded the pleats of hair loosely over one another as Duo often wore his braid. "You know, you really are lucky, Maxwell. You have that amiable personality. You're always the first to put out your hand and say hello. But I… well… let's just say that I like to keep my name a secret. And you know, I think you were the first person to ever call me… Heero… like it really was a name, because you were the only one who I had really allowed to see my face and know who I was." Heero shook his head with a small sigh, for the first time realizing just how long Duo had been there for him, and here he was, saying the most he had ever said at one time to the God of Death while he slept. What was that word you use to call someone like Duo? Ah yes… a "friend"….
Heero still was not ready to talk to Duo face to face about anything really personal, worried what the bouncy American might think of the perfect soldier should he show any remote hint of emotion. It was that kind of fear that kept Heero bottling his own sentiments up even further than humanly possible. Worry of what others would think of him kept him constantly hardhearted and dispassionate. And then I'm so cold but you still stay, so what the heck is with you?
In stone silence, he continued to quietly braid the sleeping Duo's hair, stopping and holding his breath for a moment as Duo groaned in his sleep and shifted slightly. But even after Duo had settled again, Heero kept his breath in, noticing for the first time the small tattoo of a devil's wing on his left shoulder blade. He let the braid drop, the long tassel of hair drooping over Duo's back as he did so. And hugging himself tightly, Heero slid his hand over the tattoo of an angel wing etched on his own back. We must be fated to be friends then, Heero thought as he clutched himself tighter, closing his eyes. Fated…. Heh, what folly. But… we'll always be friends, right Duo?
Heero rose from the bed, ripping back the sheets of the bed with all the grace of a well-oiled machine and threw them over Duo's prone body. Then he walked to the bathroom that connected their two bedrooms and treated himself to a long invigorating and quite well-deserved shower, after which he stumbled sleepily into Duo's room and collapsed on his wrought iron couch-bed, tired from his mentally taxing day and figuring that the Preventers could wait one damn day for a response.
Heero always kept the windows of the apartment double locked, his paranoia about being infiltrated at night always keen. Though it was a peaceful colony, he was one of those types who could never be sure. So there it was, a place that was nearly impossible to get into, being watched through a pair of infrared binoculars by a lone figure that had been sitting in the tree opposite the apartment for the past few hours, waiting for his target to return home. Checking the holographic data on his wristwatch, the stranger nodded his head, confirming to himself that the one he was after had just gone to sleep; he had been the one that just entered his room.
Quietly, the man dismounted the tree and stole across the street, only to climb another tree that grew tall and strong in front of the building. Crawling out on a sturdy limb, he reached out and promptly set to picking the locks on the window. Aggravated with the stress of the minute little work of opening the window this way without any mechanical devices made him fumble the little tools in his big hands. After nearly dropping them, he got his act together and managed to pry the windowpanes open, climbing through the tall arched window with the sound of heavy combat boots on wood.
Meanwhile, in Duo's room, Heero rolled over in his sleep, unsure of what was making him so uneasy. The bed was comfortable enough (at least it was after he had cleared all the crap lying on top of it and rolled between the sheets) and the pillows soft (once again, as soon as the random clutter had been fished out), but that was not it at all. Another disgruntled moan from Heero and he tossed over again, still restless, still tense.
The man let his eyes rove the room he was now standing in. It was a good-sized room, not overwhelmingly huge, but not cramped and tiny, obviously the main room in the flat. Ahead of him, beyond the set up with the television, an overstuffed armchair, a couch and a large papa-sun chair, was a bar lined with green stools that opened up into a small little kitchenette. He could see the front door of the place, secured at least four times with manual locks in addition to an electronic locking mechanism. From there his eyes found their way to a pair of doors spaced out on the wall without any windows, adorning with nothing but a collection of photographs and he walked purposely forward, knowing that his moment of glory had finally come.
There was the sound of a groan as someone having a hard time sleeping rolled over in his bed with the sound of squeaking springs and rustling sheets. The intruder froze in place between the two doors, inevitable finding himself staring at the wall of photographs. "Interesting," he mused as he examined the portraits. They were well done, though still obviously the work of an amateur. Five images hung in a row above the others, each of a different young boy. The man figured to himself that each had to be one of the Gundam pilots, though, which was which was a mystery to him. He had not been allowed that much information, despite the details of this mission: murder pilot .01, Heero Yuy. The other pictures were all of two of the above boys, one cheerful looking one with long hair and the other, an Oriental boy with messy short hair and a glare that could have frozen a volcano. The man noted with awareness that, even if in every picture the longhaired one was happily latched onto the other or hogging the frame with that sort of cute wide grin of his while the other just put up with the antics stoically.
The restless sleeper moaned in his dreams again, making the man jump as he pressed himself against the wall, cursing himself as his action made the picture frames rattle. A few strips of negatives fluttered to the ground from behind one picture and the man stooped to pick them up, squinting to see a line of pictures that had not been developed with the rest. "Very interesting," he grinned to himself and pocketed the negatives, knowing that it could be something that would be of future use to his commander. Anything on the Gundam pilots at all would be appreciated, that much he knew… and blackmail was always best.
Hearing no more sounds, he went on and pushed the door open, fixing the silencer on the end of his sleek silver handgun as he proceeded into the darkened bedroom. Lying, spread out rather ungracefully on the bed, was a brown haired young man with unruly hair. He fit the description of the pilot he had been ordered to assassinate in the assignment brief that had been sent to him via the communication frequency of his commander's starship. "Goodnight, Heero Yuy," the man muttered to himself, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of how many promotions he would get from his Commander Stella for a job so efficiently done.
The boy rolled over onto his back, his face still buried in the fluffy mass of the white pillows. "Stop running from me, please!" he said into the pillow, his face damp with sweat and contorted in a frightened pose.
"I'll end your pain," the man leaned over the bed and placed the gun against the sleeping teenager's head.
Suddenly, there was a scream and the sound of a switchblade being swiped open. The man was taken totally aback, the gun flying from his hand in his surprise as he found the boy now fully awake and staring angrily at him, a blade now pressed under his chin.
"Who're you and what the hell d'ya want?" the ex Gundam pilot asked in an unpleasant tone. "You better have a damn good excuse for barging in here with a gun and waking me up at—" he glanced quickly at the clock sitting beside the bed "—at three in the mother-fucking morning."
The man, getting over his initial surprise at being caught off-guard, chuckled a bit as he said, raising his arms. "Why else do you think, Mr. Yuy? To kill you!" He slammed his arms downwards, smacking Duo across the wrists, making the braided boy jump at the sting and drop the knife into the folds of the sheets. They both went scrambling for it and soon found themselves in an all out brawl, each grabbing frantically for the other's throat.
"If you wanted to kill me, then you could at least make sure you knew who I was," Heero's voice interrupted the uneven breathing of the attacker as he swept into the room and landed a muscled punch on the assailant's jaw. The stranger went flying backwards with the force of the punch and found himself cringing underneath the tip of his own gun, which had been retrieved by the real Heero and aimed at his forehead.
"Heero, don't kill him!" Duo had wrapped himself up in the sheets that had been disentangled from the bed and crawled over to where the pair stood. "You'll make an awful ruckus and an awful mess if you put a bullet in his head right here. I really don't want to be scrubbing blood stains off your pristine walls at 3AM."
Silence for a moment before Heero reacted to Duo's protests. He tucked the gun into the waistband of his boxers, pulling his green tank over the weapon as he said, "Fine. Get his arms, I've got the feet."
"Okay," Duo said as he crawled over to where the man was pressed against the wall in fear. He reached back and slammed a punch of his own into the man's abused face, knocking him out. Then he grabbed him around the wrists and stood up as Heero took up the man's ankles. "Where to now?"
"This way," Heero grunted, beginning to back out the room. Duo helped Heero carry the soldier to the window. And even though Duo showed a little reluctance as Heero gave a little nudge of his head towards the open window, he helped his roommate throw the limp body out of the window into the leafy boughs of the tree outside, listening to the sound of cracking wood and flesh hitting hard pavement. It was only one story, but it was still quite a way to fall.
"You think he's dead?" Duo asked, peering out over the windowsill so he could see the crooked body lying on the sidewalk below.
"Maybe," Heero shrugged, purposely looking away from Duo's bent half naked form. "Probably. Anyway, if anyone asks, he attacked us and we were just defending ourselves; simple story, simple solution. That's all anyone has to know."
"Somehow I don't think that will fly too well with the cops," Duo mused as he pulled the window closed. He found a packet of guitar strings lying on the table nearby and pulled a few out, using them to tie the broken lock clasps on the window together. "Ah, that'll have to do for now I guess."
"Just as that story will have to until I can hack into the police files and erase any report of it," Heero responded as he started to walk towards his room.
Duo walked after him, stepping awkwardly as so he would not trip over the long white sheets wrapped around his waist. "Couldn't you at least be creative and make something up like he was some old OZ soldier who had a grudge against the Gundam pilots or something? Your stories are always so-o-o boring."
"I don't believe in wasting time on fictitious stories when reality is much more prominent," Heero said simply as he sunk down into the chair at his desk where the laptop sat. "But that might not be so far off from the truth as you would like to think. Go get some clothes on and put some clean sheets on my bed. Then I have something else to show you."
"Fine, fine, have it your way," Duo grumbled as he walked towards his room, the sheets dragging behind him on the floor. "And these are not dirty!"
"So what's up?" Duo, now clad in his black sleepwear, leaned over Heero's chair, the only light in the room from the glowing laptop screen illuminating both their faces in the artificial white light.
"It would seem these attempts on my—our—lives isn't so coincidental," Heero said with that damned emotionless monotone of his. He opened the e-mail he had received during lunch that day and let Duo read it.
Send to: Yuy, Heero
Subject: Operation ASTROPHYLL
From: Poe, Sally
Approximately three hours ago (0900 hours) an unidentified spacecraft was detected passing the orbit of Mars. The ship has barred all communication transmissions from space-traffic officials save one statement issued by the ship's commander, a woman by the name of Stella. She has threatened the Earth Sphere and her surrounding colonies with an Operation DIANA, details of which are still unknown. It has been generally assumed that plans for DIANA will put the safety of Earth in jeopardy based on records of past offences committed by Stella and her followers during her rebellious association with the Barton Foundation after it was decided not to commence with the original Operation METEOR. Make a trip down to see Vice Minister Dorlan regarding her safety and a plan of action to take against this obvious threat before her ship enters Earth's orbit. You are free to contact any of the other Gundam pilots for assistance though word of DIANA should be kept to a minimum to avoid interception by the wrong people. We're codenaming this counter-op ASTROPHYLL, so refer to it as such from now on. That is all for now. I'll patch you more news as we get it.
Out – Sally
"Hmm, don't think you can handle it yourself, huh?" Duo said in a sarcastic tone, leaning his folded arms on top of Heero's head.
"I'm sure I could," Heero said grimly as he swiped his fist at Duo, who jumped back a few feet to avoid being clobbered, "but what if in the rare occasion that I should fail? What then? I need someone, no matter how childish, to take over if something backfires."
"That's it? You want me to be backup?" Duo gave an indignant snort. "You're no fun Heero Yuy, always hogging the glory for yourself when you never even want it!"
"It's my programming," he said the words exactly as if he indeed were put together like a computer. "I was created to fight. So don't worry; you probably won't have to see any more battles."
"You always sound like a damned robot! Don't assume that I enjoy this whole peace thing! Quite frankly it's boring, especially when someone won't let me buy a Nintendo or anything," Duo argued, a silly grin unable to be seen by Heero in the dark on his face. "So why tell me all this now when you're oh-so-sure that you won't need me."
"Alright, I lied," Heero rolled his eyes, unbelieving about what he was about to say. "I do need you right away."
"For what?"
"I… I," Heero faltered, amusing Duo to no end. Eventually, the brown haired Japanese boy spit it out. "I can't go down there to see Relena alone!"
"You're joking," Duo responded, his mouth hanging wide open. "You, who can wander into the middle of a gun fray without a care in the world, is afraid to go see one harmless girl?" At this Duo erupted in laughter, much to the furthered embarresment of Heero.
"Don't you get it Maxwell!?" he turned around in his chair so he could glower at Duo with the full intensity of one of his darkened death stares. "I can't face her after that little incident! Knowing her, she'd have me killed or something extreme like that! She's rabid obsessive! Why do you think I can't take her?"
Duo shrugged innocently, ready to hear more on the subject. Anything at all that related to Heero's inner emotions was intriguing to him and when it came to Relena especially he liked to hear what was plaguing the perfect soldier's mind. "So, what're you going to do about it? You got to talk to her. Just make it pure business."
"But she always has this way of making even the most professional of situations personal," Heero was tensely gripping the back of the chair, his fingers curling around the wood tightly. There was even the slightest sound of emphasis and emotion laced in his usually dry speech. There was silence for a moment as Heero stared at Duo with an imploring gaze that made the American's innards crumble. And then he said in a softer voice, "And I'm afraid to leave you and die. You'd be all alone again."
"Heero?" Duo said, taking a few steps closer to where Heero sat, sinking down to his knees beside the chair and resting his arms on his roommate's lap. "You're afraid of leaving me alone? What about you?"
"…And I don't want to be alone either," he finished his last train of thought, staring blankly at the wall behind Duo.
"Hee-chan, you won't have to be alone, ever," Duo flung his arms around Heero's waist in a friendly hug, burying his head against Heero's muscled stomach. He could feel Heero breathing softly, the rhythm of his heartbeat under his chest and the warmth of his hand on top of his head as he held Heero tight in that embrace. The perfect soldier did not even make a comment on the use of the pet name this time. "As long as we're friends Heero, you won't ever have to be alone. And don't worry, I won't tell them your name. You don't have to worry about anything anymore."
"Thanks… Duo," he murmured in a nearly inaudible voice. "It… means a lot to me."
"I know," Duo smiled into the fabric of Heero's crisp white blouse, taking in his fresh scent. Duo had never thought that hugging someone as unfeeling as Heero Yuy could feel so warm and safe. Right there, by his side, was where Duo decided he wanted to be… forever.
