Little Tin Flower, Red Stitches and a Rain-Soaked Angel
Part V ~ Antigravity Love SongBy Shannon the Twisted Link Worshiper
—O—
A small blipping noise drew Heero from his doze. Not more than a half an hour after Duo had left, Heero had leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his muscled chest and closing his sad ice-filled eyes for a moment as he sought to muse over the irritant thoughts plaguing his mind. As the sound persisted, he slowly opened his eyes to narrow slits, barely glimpsing through his thick eyelashes and wet vision, the blurry vision of his laptop craving some attention with its incessant beeps and whirrs.
A transmission? Who would know to…. He was still half asleep as he lethargically reached for the keyboard and went to connect the message. As Relena's face appeared on the pale screen, Heero's expression hardened ever so slightly in motions so minute, it would have taken only an expert soldier like one of the other pilots to notice his reactions.
"Heero," Relena said, her face coated with that babyish little girl expression. "Heero, are you going to stay on Earth much longer?"
"No," was the plain and distant reply.
"Is it something I did? I'm sorry if you thought I was too hard on Duo. Please don't forfeit ASTROPHYLL because of my reactions," she said, her voice almost so sugary, Heero felt like being sick all over the floor, and his face most definitely showed it.
He was curt, honest and straight to the point. "I'm not abandoning ASTROPHYLL. The mission will be carried out, though not through you and your department. I'm acting on my own now."
"You'll surely be killed," she said fearfully. "Heero, if you don't come back, what will I do? We never had time to just sit down at really talk with one another."
"We don't need to," he said in that same abrupt manner. "Relena, what is there to discuss?"
"So many things!" Her face became warm, that naïve persona of hers really shining through. "What about our futures? There are still so many things I want to do with you!"
"My future is to die," he responded deftly. "I'm a soldier. Shinigami will bring me home when the time is right."
"Shinigami?" He could see her face darken. "You've been spending too much time with Duo. You're even starting to talk like him. A dirty vagabond like him rubbing off on a respectable person like you, tch, is something I won't stand for!"
"Are you calling just to bash Duo around?" Heero frowned. He may have found Duo at fault for a myriad of things, but there was always more that he could pin on Relena, instances like this being a prime example. "Why do you hate him so much?" He was not even sure why he asked the question, but the thought had come up, and before he had even realized it, the words were out there. Yes, Duo really is rubbing off on me, he smiled to himself, a look that almost escaped Relena's watchful eye.
"I don't hate him!" She knew that saying otherwise would only get her cut off sooner than she was hoping. "I'm just saying that you don't always need to be hanging off of him like a security blanket."
"I need to take care of him," Heero responded, his voice hinted with the slightest twang of passion as his fingers absently reached for the old baseball lying right beside the laptop. "It's my duty as a solider… it's my duty as a friend. I will not abandon Duo to be left alone to die on the streets. He's different from the other pilots that way. They had places to go but Duo… Duo has nothing."
"He has Hilde!" Relena snapped, immediately wishing that she could have honeyed that over with some sweet glaze before letting her jealously dart through so easily like that. She saw Heero's image absently tossing an old ratty baseball from hand to hand with gentle ease as he pretended to listen to what she was saying, and she knew the second she laid eyes upon it that it had been a gift from Duo. Heero was never one for such trivial things as a game as far as she knew, and it was the only logical explanation she could come up with for the ball, an explanation that, needless to say, drove her even madder.
"Hilde and he have gone their separate ways. Their destinies won't cross like that again… not that they ever really did in the first place," he told her. "Perhaps Duo has friends, but no one to go to but me. And for this last mission, Duo will come with me. He's my… partner…."
"You're partner?" She was scowling now, a look that Heero decided really did not become her at all. "Then why does he seem so close to you? You let him bounce around and hang off of you like he's so much more to you than that."
"Maybe," Heero smiled cruelly, knowing full well that the ambiguous response would drive her insane, hopefully to the point of finally leaving him alone. Let her think what she wants about Duo and I, he reasoned. If it keeps me alone and strong, so be it. It doesn't matter who needs to be hurt. For the sake of the mission, her feelings are a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
"You can barely let me touch you without that repulsed look crossing your face."
"Can't you take a hint?" he snarled. "I want to be alone. I want to be distant and far and unnoticed. I'm a face without a name, and I want it to stay that way, you got it?"
"Then what about Duo?" she had confronted him at last, her envy towards Duo at a peak and her bitterness towards Heero for being so unfeeling growing with each second.
"If you have nothing to say to me, then I'll be leaving," he stated as he reached to close the transmission. As her face blacked out in mid-sentence, Heero sunk deeper into his chair, crossing his arms again and closing his eyes, hoping to return to that stony dreamless sleep once more. He did not want to see her whining at him for things he should have done or things that he still had yet to. Follow my heart, no regrets, he repeated in his mind over and over, not feeling bad for a single word he had said to the woman. She deserved that. She can't just throw Duo into the drain like that. She doesn't know him… like… I do….
Beauty and grace is what touches me most.
Good times can put me in fear.
I always feel safe when things are bad,
So I cannot let you come in.
It seems that I fight on the dark side of things,
And I always feel alive when the death bell rings.
Now you come and you bring out the tears in me.
The sound was muffled and indistinct, but there was no mistaking it. Heero found his eyelids slowly pealing up over his clouded Prussian irises as his killer instincts darted about the room, searching for the source of the throaty voice that had infiltrated his peaceful room. Eyes darting about, he silently rose from his desk and surveyed the shadowy, seemingly empty room. He was always suspicious, always the warrior, always Heero….
Pain never makes me cry but…Happiness does.
It's so strange to watch your life walk by,
Wishin' it was.
Wishin' it was more like a fantasy.
Every day surprises me.
Oh wishin' it was.
This feeling won't last 'cause I cannot survive.
I tell you, I've been here before.
You're moving so fast, it's a matter of time,
Before one of walks out that door.
It seems that I fight on the dark side of things,
And I always feel alive when the death bell rings.
Now you come and bring out the tears in me.
He stumbled as if he were blind from the desk over to where Duo had left his red duffel by the sofa, unzipped and oozing with rolled up clothes and other such things. He knew it was here, that music. Rooting through the mess of black clerical shirts and pants, he unearthed it, that stupid little transistor radio of Duo's. Somehow, in the disarray of crap that Duo had crammed into the duffel, the thing had found a way to switch itself on, picking up the frequency of some signal through the unclear static. Staring at the little round image of a rose etched into the thing, he felt the tiny machine quiver with the sound in his strong hands, making it seem so delicate and insignificant, that Heero almost felt that the slightest motion would break it to pieces, no doubt breaking Duo's heart to pieces as well. "He's just a little tin flower," Heero said softly, his thumb running delicately over the transistor's speaker. "Just like this stupid radio…." Heero sighed and closed his eyes.
But just as he was about to turn it back off, he heard the words of the song penetrate his skull. He began to think on it. And soon Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier, was caught wondering if he really was… alive…. He wanted to know if he really was just letting his life pass him by and beginning to think to himself if there was something more to it all than his plain existence.
Pain never makes me cry but…Happiness does.
It's so strange to watch your life walk by,
Wishin' it was.
Wishin' it was more like a fantasy.
Every day surprises me.
Wishin' it was.
Give it some thought,
I'm sure you will know,
This is the way it must be.
Emotions will rise,
Emotions will flow.
You bring out the tears in me.
"Sometimes I think the gods are laughing at me," Heero murmured, still transfixed by the radio and its enchanting sound, weak, crackly and vague, though still strong, powerful and commanding, an irony which Heero saw not only in the radio, but in his dear partner as well. "Why do I feel so unsure of myself all of the sudden? Am I becoming… weak?" His face hardened, determined to tell himself that this was not the case. It could not be, would not be…. His fingers tightened around the radio, loosening immediately when he realized what he had done. The device still felt weak in his strong grip, and he would not let his pride shatter it. "A little tin flower," he said again, examining the fine lines that wove around the radio's body, forming the roses that decorated its otherwise plain appearance. "All folded up, waiting to bloom. I wonder what kind of secrets a flower has… and not a disgusting rusted flower like me, but a real beautiful tin flower, delicate and simple… like Duo…. Christ, I wonder what kind of secrets does Duo have?" His face darkened as he looked away from the radio, "And why is it that I care?"
Pain never makes me cry but…Happiness does.
It's so strange to watch your life walk by,
Wishin' it was.
Wishin' it was more like a fantasy.
Every day surprises me.
Oh wishin' it was.
His thoughts were interrupted as another beep from his computer forced him to throw his sharp gaze up from the radio to the machine's glowing screen. Finally turning the power off and stuffing the radio back into the bag, Heero stood and rushed to the desk where he was just in time to receive a public transmission from the Star of the spaceship high above.
—O—
Duo said his goodbyes to Hilde and gave her an affectionate hug of thanks before turning on his booted heel and walking down the street, hands thrust in pockets and head thrust in thought, as he heading back towards the hotel to meet up with Heero. He turned the corner onto their street to see Heero standing on the curb by the moped, the bags already loaded into the vehicle's compartment beneath the seat, the only thing left out being Duo's guitar bag, which rested against Heero's hip beneath his folded arms as he waited as motionless as a statue for Duo to come back.
"What's this, Hee-chan?" Duo asked, lifting his head from its downward gaze at the pretty brick sidewalk beneath his feet. "I thought we didn't leave for at least three more hours."
"We have to go now," Heero said simply. "We'll get an earlier flight. We just need to go now."
"Why?" Duo asked, confused at Heero's sudden need for haste.
"That Stella woman issued a statement while you were off with Hilde," he explained coldly. "We don't have much time at all. They've already selected a target in the L3 cluster, which they will fire mercilessly on if Relena is not turned over to them within the next eighteen hours. I doubt we'll even get back to L1 in time at this rate."
"So what do you propose we do?" Duo asked, taking the guitar bag and the other biker helmet from Heero.
"Fight," he answered in that beautiful deep monotone. "It's all we can do to avoid another war like the one with OZ."
"The two of us versus a big old space vessel like that, without our Gundams? That's pushing it a little far, don't you think?" Duo looked a little skeptical at the whole idea.
"We'll find a way," Heero shrugged, straddling the moped as if to tell Duo to hurry the hell up. Duo slammed the helmet on his head and slung the guitar over his back as he clambered onto the moped behind his companion, this time bothering to wrap his free arm around Heero's torso. "Besides, I thought that explosives and slinking around were your specialty."
"Well if you put it like that," Duo said haughtily as they sped off down the street, "I can get you exactly what you need and a pretty fireworks display to go along with it."
"Good," he gave his usual simple reply and said no more as he geared up the silver motorcycle-like vehicle, splotches of water falling upon them as the skies opened up and began to sprinkle down a shower of blissful water droplets. Duo gripped Heero tightly, thinking back to what Hilde had told him he needed to do, as they sped off down the street, away from the hotel, away from Paris, away from Earth… away from the rain….
—O—
Relena played the statement from Stella once more, not sure if she had really heard what this maniacal woman was proposing just right. The rain cascaded down outside the huge window in her offices, pounding loud and angry against the glass panes as she sat in the semi-darkened room, staring at her computer screen. Here was the woman, threatening the L3 colonies with her nasty weaponry unless the Former Queen of the World was delivered to the sleek starship that sailed in orbit around the earth above before the day was out. She was at a loss. Confused, angry and blinded by the red that Heero had dyed her vision with, she was almost ready to succumb to Stella just to get back at him… and Duo…. Most of all Duo….
Almost as if to echo her thoughts, a transmission popped up on Relena's computer screen, Stella's unmistakable image appearing in the window. She was smirking somewhat, obviously pleased with her ability to bypass all the security codes that protected direct uninformed contact with Relena.
"You know, even the most well thought-out plans leave a little room for luck and improvisation," the hard voice said over the computer's speakers.
Relena turned slightly to face the screen, her interest captured at this casual remark from the woman who was planning to send her pacifist nation into an explosion of revolution and insane war within the day if something was not done soon. She sat down at the desk, folding her hands on top of it as she queried, "What do you mean? What are you planning?"
Stella shrugged, a cool knowing smile crossing her hard lips. The woman's militaristic attitude reminded Relena of what Une's split personality had been like during the war with OZ. "I had wanted anyone who could have put a damper in DIANA killed before we even got here. But when two attempts on the life of a certain individual proved fruitless, I decided to just let it drop and see how DIANA would come along without it. Hmm, thank high heaven it worked out this way, because I now see a way that you and I can both get what we want. You do know what you want, don't you Miss Relena?"
"What are you trying to get at?" she asked suspiciously. Though the woman's offer was starting to sound tempting, she was still wary that Stella was an enemy of the Earth Sphere Unified Nation and her colonies. Besides, she told herself, how could this woman know what I want? How could she know that I would give anything to move Heero and Duo as far away from each other as I possibly can?
"You want him, don't you?" It was almost as if the woman were psychic, her words always coming at the exact right time, interrupting thoughts of the exact same nature.
"What are you talking about?" she snapped, though she had this nagging feeling like the woman truly did know what she wanted.
"Oh it's not hard to find things out about you," Stella went on, looking somewhere off to the side. "With a little old fashioned research, database hacking and determination, any fool can find out everything they could ever hope to know about the former Queen of the World, ne?"
"And?"
"So it's not hard to see that it was fate that I did not kill Heero Yuy." That did it. She had said the magic words. Relena now was giving Stella her full and undivided attention and the commander of the attacking star ship most certainly knew it. The girl was eating out of her hand. "Now tell me, do you want to cooperate with me? If you're good, I can easily get you just what you want and a little more."
—O—
Heero had taken his rightful position at the wheel of his Z3 when they returned to the colony and without a word, sailed back down the road away from the spaceport towards their home downtown. Duo figured that Heero probably had a plan already worked out in his head and would brief him on it when he was ready. Duo had learned pretty early on not to egg the stoic Japanese boy on unless he wanted to see Heero get really pissed… not that he did not do it for that very reason ever so often.
"Umm… Hee-chan?" Duo ventured after the silent car ride as they ascended the stairs up to their apartment. Heero turned slightly, his body language the most of a response Duo got. A little sad that it was the best Heero ever gave, but accepting that he was being acknowledged at all, Duo went on. "Err… this mission, you don't think that we'll have to sacrifice any innocents… do you?"
Heero stopped walking, his eyes narrowing as he turned completely around. Duo was standing there on the stairs behind him, his guitar hanging over one shoulder, his duffel gripped tightly in the other hand that was wrapped so tightly around the banister that his knuckles were white as a sheet. Eyes downcast and trembling a little, the braided American tried to ask the question again, but found he was unable to say anymore on the idea without tears welling in his eyes. Heero saw the sparkling droplets drip from beneath Duo's dark lashes and fall on the tops of his black boots, and for a moment, he wondered how long it had been since Duo had last really cried. All he knew was that he hated seeing it. He almost wanted to come back down the steps to where Duo stood and hug him reassuringly, to tell him that it would all be okay. But he found himself coldly swallowing such sentiments, telling himself that it would be crueler to Duo to lie to him and riddle him with false hopes. "I can't say for sure."
"Oh," Duo choked out. Heero could hear the pain in Duo's voice and wished he could make it go away. It was hurting his usually callous demeanor. It was making him feel… human. They kept walking up the stairs, the silence revisited once more. Heero was fumbling with the lock, his fingers unable to stop shaking as he punched in the pass code and still more when he went at the manual lock in the door with his keys. Duo's comment kept replaying in his head. Killing civilians… not again… I swore I would never kill an innocent person ever again… that I wouldn't have to anymore…. But it's true what Duo says… there is an excellent chance we might have to sacrifice colonies to protect… to protect peace….
"Heero?" Duo reached out to touch Heero's shoulder, noticing how he had stopped trying to open the door, his body and expression frozen as if he were locked away in his thoughts. "Heero, what's wrong?" He knew it was stupid to ask, one, because Heero would never open enough to tell him what was on his mind and two, because he knew full well that it was the mission that was driving the perfect soldier nuts, making him break down right in front of him.
"No!" he heard Heero growl under his breath as he gripped the key in his fingers so tightly that it left a red impression upon his palm. "Wufei is right. Peace is not worth the lives of innocents! That is not what peace is!"
"Hee-chan?" Duo's fingers stretched out once more, barely grazing Heero's tense shoulders.
Heero was quivering with emotion as he finally got the door open and stalked inside. He let out a deafening roar that shook the walls of the apartment as he flung his bag as hard as he could into the living room. "It's not worth it! It's not worth it!" he kept repeating as he beat the bag senseless with his sneaker-clad foot.
"Whoa, Heero, please," Duo leapt into the apartment after him, dropping his things in a pile at the door as he flew to Heero's side and grabbed him by the shoulders, whipping him around to face him. Shaking him violently, he said, his voice slightly louder than it perhaps needed to be. "Heero, get a grip, please! Calm down!"
He stopped right off, drooping slightly in Duo's steel-like grip. "G-gomen nasai, Duo," he muttered in his native tongue, looking down at his feet and the mess of clothes that had erupted from the bag while he had been abusing it. He snapped out of his daze and quickly switched back to English. "Oh God, Duo, I just don't know. I have this horrible feeling that many colonies will be destroyed in order to protect Relena. She may be an overbearing snotty naïve little girl, but what she represents to the people, we can't let Stella have that, ne?"
"No, Heero, no we can't," Duo agreed with a solemn nod of his head.
"So we'll have to hurry," he went on.
"Yeah, but Heero…."
"Nani?" Heero slipped again. He always did that when he was beginning to lose a grip on reality, usually whenever they were engaged in a mission, one that would surely cost many lives.
"Look," Duo held out his wrist in front of Heero's eyes.
The perfect soldier's eyes glanced down at the silver watch that adorned his hand and realized what Duo was saying. The time limit was up. The colony should have been destroyed already, according to Stella's threats. He narrowed his eyes and stared at the still open door behind Duo as they braided American let his arm drop back to his side, his large indigo eyes watching Heero with intensified curiosity. "Something is wrong. Stella doesn't seem like the type to make idle threats. If the colony is still there she obviously—oh shit…."
"Heero?"
"God, I thought we made it clear that she had to stay on Earth!"
Relena was up in space with Stella, and everyone from Heero to Duo to God knew that things were falling in a noticeable downward spiral. It could have taken them less than an hour to throw themselves together and fly right back out the door, which was what Heero had actually been angling for if it had not been for Duo and his simplistic sensibility.
"Heero, Heero," Duo shook his friend silly. "Look, you're angry and blind with your emotions. Do you really think that it would do anyone any good to go rushing out of here with barely a game plan and nothing but a sightless rage to fuel you along? That won't hold out. It won't do well for anyone, not you, not me, Relena or the Preventers. All that would happen would be a surefire way to get the both of us killed."
"But God knows what Stella will do now that she has Relena," Heero protested unsuccessfully as Duo steered him deeper into the apartment and to the sofa.
Duo forced the Japanese boy onto the couch with a downward shove onto his shoulders before jumping off the kitchen to fetch a cup of ice water. Brining the cup back to the still shaking Heero, Duo said as he offered out the glass, "Is it really you're nature to go charging in there without a single thought? Jesus Heero, think of it more like umm…"
Heero raised his brows expectantly as he sipped from the glass, unused to this pause in Duo's usual unending prattle.
"Uh, like baseball, Heero," Duo grinned as he slapped his fist into his other open palm.
"Baseball?" Heero arched a brow even higher. "Why does it always come back to games with you, Maxwell?"
"Aw when I joke, I tell about life or the truth," he said, waving his hand nonchalantly. "That's the funniest joke of all. Anyway, I'm not kidding. Like, when you play baseball, you gotta make sure you got a plan. I mean, should you strike the guy out? Or maybe you 'ought to let him walk so you can try for a double play."
"What are you trying to say?" Heero would never get used to Duo's analogies.
"So hold off, make a plan, and we'll go for a double play!" Duo said excitedly, throwing his arms up over his head with a little hop. "Let 'em think they got a spot on first, but just wait 'til you chuck that ball at 'em on they're way 'round to second and then slam the bag out from under the feet when you blow out them right back off first. Clear the field and next thing you know, you'll be back up at bat."
"You have very… interesting ways of describing things, Maxwell," Heero said, glaring up at Duo from beneath the cascade of brown fringe that hung over his eyes. "But I suppose you're right in any case… as usual…." He added that last bit under his breath, disguising it with a wicked un-Heero-like slurp from his glass.
"What was that?" Duo cupped a hand around his ear and plopped down next to Heero, shoving his ear close to Heero's lips. "Didn't quite hear you there, Mr. Perfect Soldier."
"I mean, we'll wait. We'll see exactly what they're planning to do with her and then act. I can cook something up in the meantime," he covered quickly, though the both of them knew full well exactly what Heero had said. Heero turned away, red with embarresment that he had let such a thought cross his lips and Duo was simply wallowing in the triumphant moment.
"Damn straight," Duo patted Heero's shoulder reassuringly, letting his fingers linger on him for perhaps a second or so longer than need be. "Now we're talking, buddy."
Heero uneasily pushed Duo's hand off his shoulder, not quite sure what to make of the little waves of tension his touch sent rocketing through his body. Heero had found that the best way to deal with things he did not understand was to shut them out and make them go away. "Good then. In the meantime, you go get some sleep. You don't look so good."
"Since when did you care about poor little old me?" Duo ruffled Heero's hair and he knew just how edgy it made the perfect soldier feel when he did it (which was most of the motivation behind the action). "Hmm, it's so obvious that you care Hee-chan." At this he curled his arms around the other boy and buried his nose in Heero's mess of thick brown hair, relishing the warm scent of the stoic boy beside him.
"Go lay down before you hurt yourself… or to be more exact, I hurt you," he said coldly, pushing Duo away. He really was not keen on the sensations Duo's touch was sending through his nervous system. It was confusing him, and Heero hated being at a loss almost as much as he hated things he did not understand. Combine the two, and you have one apprehensive young man.
Duo slinked back to his room with a slightly upset frown placed on his delicate lips, the sight of the place almost taking him by shock; it had been a while since he had slept in there. He kicked his duffel in the room ahead of him like a soccer ball, closing the door gently with a nudge of his foot. Glancing over his shoulder as the door swung closed, he got a quick glimpse of Heero as he reclined back on the sofa, stretching out over the long piece of furniture as if he were pleased to be home, peaceful and free of stress… at least for a little while.
"Aw damn you Heero," Duo managed to mutter, ripping the rubber band from the base of his braid as he collapsed backwards on his unmade bed. "You always have to be so-o-o hard and unfeeling about everything. Jesus, I'd pay money to see the day when it all comes around to bite you in the ass."
He reached off the side of the bed, nearly rolling over onto the floor as he groped around in search of his bag. Finding it, he rummaged through it until he had found that little rose engraved radio. He turned it on and fell asleep with the music playing softly in his ear as he cradled it against his breast.
I'm home alone tonight.
Full moon illuminates my room,
And sends my mind alight.
I think I was dreaming,
Of some thoughts that were seemingly possible,
…With you….
Heero heard him as he shuffled to his room and fell upon the bed with the sound of creaking bedsprings and the faint whirring of his radio. He tried to ignore it, flopping over on his side and smacking one of the sofa's cushions over his head as he stared at the bland scene before him. But he could not ignore it. His mind kept listening to that stupid damned radio of his, and thinking of his music no doubt made Heero start thinking of him, which just confused and angered Heero even more. Is friendship supposed to be so frustrating? He wondered that for a bit until memory of Duo's words from their last night in Paris sprang into his head. A friend is someone who knows everything there is to know about you and still stays your friend. Heero groaned at the thought. Am I really that hard to get on with?
So I call you on the tin can phone.
We rendezvous at a quarter to,
And make sure we're alone.
I think I finally found a way for you and I to finally fly free.
When we get there,
We're gonna fly so far away,
Making sure to laugh,
While we experience,
…Antigravity….
A sold shaft of light penetrated the darkness of Duo's black, black, black room as Heero pushed the door open. He stood there, enveloped in the blast of light that surrounded him, just watching Duo's lax form stretched out on the bed, asleep and breathing softly. For a moment, he found himself entranced by the way the beam of light curved over Duo's lithe form, tracing each and every turn of his body in the pale glow. His fascination grew still more at the way Duo's half unmade braid fell in three long golden chestnut pleats and poured generously over the edge of the bed. And then he sucked in a breath as the American pilot, allegedly sleeping, stirred and forced himself up on his elbows. "Heero?"
Heero narrowed his eyes, his mind working fast to try and come up with an answer as to why he had been standing in his doorway, watching him sleep. Just when he thought he had come up with something, Duo's mouth proved to be quicker, and he found himself cut off by Duo's ever-playful words. "I'm cute when I sleep, eh? Admit it, you think so."
"Duo," he started to say, but was lost for words when Duo just winked and giggled, wilting back onto the mattress, yanking the blankets up to his nose, just laughing in a way that proved to Heero once and for all that the braided brat knew something he did not and its whimsical strains left Heero leaning against the side of the bed, back to Duo, with nothing to say.
For years I've kept here to myself.
The potentialities abound,
Are living under my shelf.
Simply choose your destination from the diamond canopy,
…And we'll be there….
So I call you on the tin can phone.
We rendezvous at a quarter to,
And make sure we're alone.
I think I've finally found a way for you and I to finally be free….
Duo's bed squeaked almost unbearably as he moved to turn the radio off and discard it next to Heero on the floor, before he rolled over and threw his arms around Heero's shoulders, placing his chin on top of the perfect soldier's head. "Aw, or is it that little Hee-chan can't sleep all by himself in the dark? Is little Hee-chan afraid of the dark?"
"I am not," Heero snapped defensively. "Stop being so childish Maxwell."
"It's okay, Heero," Duo whispered into the back of his head so softly that Heero almost did not hear it. His words came in fluttering little breaths that made seemed to make the tiny hairs on the back of his neck freeze, a feeling that Heero had not felt come over him since Odin died. "I won't tell anyone your secret. It's okay to be afraid. I'm afraid too."
Heero shook a little with his slight laugh at the irony. "Death is afraid?"
"In more ways than a man like you could ever know," Duo muttered back, wrapping his arms tighter around Heero, threatening to fall off the bed and onto Heero's back. "In more ways than any man could ever know. I'm afraid of everything."
Heero looked down at his folded hands, now twitching uncontrollably with fidgety nervousness as he spoke. It was not so much talking to Duo that made him so uneasy; it was more the way Duo was draped over him so luxuriously. Not that he had never done it before, but this was the first time Heero really noticed how clingy Duo actually was, almost as if Heero were some kind of safety for the poor American boy. "What frightens you most, Duo?"
The other boy said nothing, simply rubbing his nose affectionately against the back of Heero's head, nuzzling the crook of his neck and gently nipping his skin with his lips. "You, Hee-chan."
"Me?" Heero wondered aloud, sinking further towards the ground and forcing Duo to drip a little more off the side of the bed so he could keep his arms around the stoic Japanese boy.
"Yes, you," Duo murmured against Heero's burning flesh. "I'm frightened by the way you never seem to feel anything and by the way you were ready to die at only fifteen years old. I'm afraid of the way you glare at people with those cold eyes of yours like you mean to kill them the next time you see them, by the way you're so quick to pull that gun from nowhere and threaten death as casually as if life were a throwaway thing. I'm so afraid of you, Hee-chan, that I don't know why I follow you around like a lovesick dog… how or why I love you."
"L-love me?" He had heard this so much from Duo in the past few days that it seemed certain that the braided boy was certainly trying to push a point upon him… a point that Heero was not sure he quite understood. Love is what frightens me, he thought to himself, not willing to tell Duo such a thing, afraid to admit a weakness such as that and worried what Duo might say if he mentioned anything of the like. "I'm afraid of being close to anyone. What happens if I lose someone I loved? All it means is more heartbreak."
"It does mean heartbreak," Duo said softly, still swathing Heero in the warmth of his long arms. "But, like they say, it is better to have loved and have lost than to never have loved at all. It's a risk that I think most people should be willing to take. You know, the greatest thing of all is to love someone and be loved in return, Hee-chan."
"Everything you say always takes everything I've been disciplined on, turns it upside down and throws it out the window," Heero sighed. "I'm so confused by you. You make me think about myself."
He erupted into little chuckles. "Actually, I got that last line from a really old Earth movie. So don't go tossing me credit when half the stuff I say I've ripped from somewhere else. Aw, but that's what wisdom is. It gets passed on like that, which is why it's so wise!" Then he huffed and scoffed. "Hmm, besides Heero, discipline is for the birds! You gotta be able to do things your own way once in a while. Come on, Heero, if you're so afraid of being close to someone, why are you such good friends with me?"
"Baka," grumbled Heero.
"Aw, you just say that when you can't think of anything else," Duo teased.
"You're still a moron anyway."
"But that's what you love about me, yeah?" Duo cuddled closer. "Do you love me too, Heero?"
"Hn," Heero made a sound that somewhere resembled a snort and a grunt. He was starting to think about what Duo had been saying to him all this time, maybe not as directly as the last few days, but most certainly, since he had first met the guy, there had been something the American had been trying to say and had only just gotten the courage to say it... or to even realize it.
"Do you have to think about it so hard?" he asked curiously. "Does it really take that much for you to register emotion? It shouldn't. You should know what love is right away. Like a lotus of blood erupting after a gunshot or a… a MS scattering to pieces in an orange starburst in the sky… that's what love feels like."
"Yeah, but what is it?" Heero asked flatly.
Duo traced flowers on Heero's forehead, smoothing the brown curtain of hair that hung over his eyes with his other hand as he did so, much to Heero's distaste, who was straining to look up at Duo's hands in vain. "It's what makes you want to keep me around, what makes friends and lovers."
"Am I your friend?"
"My best, best, best friend ever," Duo smiled. He reworked his arms around Heero's neck and shoulders, hugging him tightly. "I'd follow you to hell and back."
Heero leaned his head back a little so he could look above him at Duo. He said with a sort of amused grin on his face, "I'd be the one following you to hell, Maxwell. Aren't you Death?"
"Damn straight I am," Duo giggled. Then his voice dropped into a lower more serious tone. "But you would?"
"Would what?"
"Go with me to hell and back," Duo repeated. He flicked the back of Heero's head playfully. "You're not just saying that to get the last word, are you?"
"I never get the last word with you," Heero answered plainly. He paused, one of those strange contemplative silences befalling the small black room for a moment as Heero reclined more, falling deeper back into Duo's arms and Duo just nuzzling the side of Heero's head, waiting for him to either keep on speaking or gouge his eyes out for being so forward. "Yeah," he said at long last. "Yeah I would. I would go with you."
"That's good to hear," Duo said sincerely into Heero's cheek, his lips lightly brushing against Heero's warming skin. He could feel Heero shivering with all the tension building up inside of him, despite how hot his flesh felt to touch. "'Cause you know, a trip like that would be awful lonely. I'd like to think that if I were going to journey all that way, I'd at least have someone to go with me."
"Hn." Heero was falling drowsy in Duo's grip, leaning back into the American's circle of arms.
Duo slid back into a more natural position on the bed, dangerously close to the edge, his one arm still draped around Heero's body, pressing him against the bedside. "Just go to sleep, Hee-chan. You won't have to be afraid of the dark anymore. I'm here. Always been, always will, even if you're too stupid to notice."
When morning rolled around, Heero awoke to find himself still slumped on the floor of Duo's room, lying against the side of the bed with a very possessive set of arms knotted around his shoulders. He shifted a little bit, finding that no matter how he moved, Duo's arms stayed locked about him. Heero let out a heavy sigh of serenity, something he had not done in so long he could barely remember the last time he had felt so at home… or if he had ever felt that at all. Maybe this was the first time, but there was a first time for everything, he supposed.
Duo was humming softly, some faint lullaby that Heero thought he remembered hearing somewhere a long time ago. He closed his eyes again, just listening to the sound of Duo's voice, lulling him back into that dreamy state. This is wrong. What is this calm? When there is a mission even! I cannot have this peaceful feeling… not now….
"He-e-e-ero," a soft drawn out whisper escaped Duo's lips.
"What?" he snapped fully awake, defensive and punitive once again, that dreaded tranquility gone before it had even really set in.
"It's morning."
"I know," he grumbled after a brief pause.
"You're still here," Duo pressed. "Sleep well?"
"Hai." Simple answer for a simple question.
"Good. Me too," he murmured, finally letting his hands fall free from Heero's body and flopping backwards on the bed, arms folded behind his head, weaved into that thick pool of brown hair. He frowned at the back of Heero's head, seeing how tense he still seemed. "You really aren't a morning person, are you?"
Suddenly, Heero felt cold and naked the moment Duo's fingers lost contact with him. He almost wished that it were midnight instead of first light. Then he would have had hours to just rest there with the shield of Duo's protective arms encircling him all night, though why he would wish for such a thing seemed beyond him. It was… flummoxing beyond the sense of all reality. He pushed away from the bed, standing up and pretending to occupy himself with preening his rumpled clothes, watching Duo watch him out of the corner of his eye. "I'll… make breakfast," he said slowly, turning towards the door. He could still feel Duo's eyes glued to his back as he walked from the room. He hated making weak excuses like that just to get away from one person because of the mystifying feelings he sent surging through him, but it was all he could do to hide those feelings
"You do that, Hee-chan!" came the cheerful cry from Duo's room. "I want waffles!"
Heero grunted audibly from the kitchenette as he went about preparing the morning meal. Duo rolled out of his room after a few minutes in a tangle of tousled clothing and sloppily braided hair before bounding over to the barstools that sat beneath the counter opposite Heero. Duo slid onto one and leaned his arms on the countertop, staring at the mechanically working Japanese boy in his neat-as-a-pin perfect kitchen as he went about the process of preparing Duo's waffles… from scratch.
"Oh, that's so sweet," Duo said with a cheesy sort of grin at Heero's back. He could see the muscles tense beneath that green tank top as he spoke. "Going through all that trouble to make a nice breakfast for me. Aww, you can be so cute sometimes, Hee-chan!"
"Stop acting like you're five years old," Heero stated coldly, not even bothering to turn around as he reached up to a cabinet to get some flour. "You should know the importance of a good meal. That frozen crap never did anyone any good."
"Now you sound like Sister Helen," Duo commented, resting his cheek in his palm, a wistful smile crossing his face. "Always worried about her charges, keeping them healthy and energetic, making sure they don't do anything too stupid."
"Not that it could stop you," Heero muttered under his breath.
Duo raised a brow, ever amused by Heero's stabs at humour. His sarcasm had become much more sharp since the pair of them had started living together, no matter how dark it tended to be. Don't know if that's a blessing or a curse, Duo thought to himself with another unreadable smile. "So Heero, did you think about it any more?"
"Not this again," Heero turned around to look at Duo directly for the first time that day. "Why are you so worried about whether or not I'm happy! It's none of your damn business! I have my life; you have yours. I don't tell you how to run it, so don't worry about how I run mine."
"The problem is, you don't know how to run your life," Duo retorted quick and blunt, banging a fist passionately onto the countertop, making Heero's bowl of waffle batter jump.
"If that's the way it's going to be, then it would be perfectly fair for me to say to you that you don't either," Heero snapped with a smirk, brandishing his batter dripping whisk at Duo. "Look at you! You're going to be twenty years old in a few months, and you still whine like a child when you don't get your way and cry like a girl when even the slightest thing goes wrong! Hell, you were ready to give up and die when I found you again after the war."
Duo sucked in a breath. Heero really knew how to downright obliterate the nail on the head. He stroked his chestnut bangs ruefully, silent for once in his life as he said quietly, "You're right, Heero, I am just a little kid at heart. I just can't let go."
Heero narrowed his eyes, dropping the whisk into the bowl. Running his hands under the fount of warm water from the sink's faucet, he said, "Let go of what? You're past, or the people in it?"
"Both." Duo shrugged with an absent hazy look in his eyes as he stared past Heero at the small round black clock that hung on the wall behind him, sadly ticking away the seconds of his life. "I miss everyone. Even you have to admit that it's hard to let go of people who meant a lot to you."
"But they're gone," Heero said grimly, flicking the water off with a deft throw of his wrist. "There's nothing you can do about that. Not all the praying and hoping in the world could bring a dead person back to life."
"Don't you ever miss anyone?" Duo asked the stoic boy before him, who was gradually going about putting a scoop the batter into the hot waffle press that lay on one of the gas stove's forward burners as though his mind were far from the place and conversation at hand.
"I don't like to get so close to people. Saves on the trouble of hellos and goodbyes." Duo grimaced as that damned silence fell over them yet again. Either Heero was ignoring him or was lost in his own little world, far from reality. At long last, as Heero was just flipping his first waffle onto a large white plate for Duo, he spoke with the slightest sound of a wistful sigh. "Though, after the war… I missed you. It wasn't really an accident that I found you that day. I had been looking for you."
"You missed me? You wanted to find me?" Duo breathed. He could hardly believe that he had just heard the perfect soldier utter those words. "Me?"
"Yeah." His voice was so soft that Duo was almost positive that he was not speaking at all, that this was all some twisted fantasy in his head, that the clock on the wall would start to tick again and soon he would be back in the world of the living, with a cold roommate robotically making him waffles. "I was lonely."
"Are you still?" Duo leaned over the countertop as so he could lay a hand on Heero's limp shoulder.
"No," he spoke in that faint low voice. Looking up at the braided haired boy sitting across from him, extending his arm out to bridge the gap of solitude hanging between them, he finished the thought whistling through his head before he even had time to wrestle it down and confine it to the privacy of his mind. "I have you again, don't I?"
Duo chuckled softly as he began to dig into Heero's impeccable cooking. "Yes Heero, yes you do." He looked up from his meal to stare at an expectant Heero with the most serious gaze he could muster (while his face was smeared with syrup) and, pointing his fork straight at the other boy, he said, "And I'm not going to go anywhere, Heero Yuy. So don't worry. You'll never be lonely again."
He smiled weakly at that, knowing that when Duo said things like that, he was being as serious as he ever could be. A curt nod and a slight grunt, soon he was back to making breakfast for himself, (and second, third and probably fourth helpings for his roommate), Duo munching away in silence beside him, watching him with a tender loving pair of violet eyes as he worked.
The day was another slow one. All the tension hanging, musty in the air, was beginning to try both the young men's nerves. Heero was trying his hardest to concentrate on the mission and solely the mission, wasting most of the morning shut away in his room, laptop keys beneath one hand, pencil, paper and a plot map of the L3 sector in the other. Duo had spent those hours restless, pacing, fidgeting, and jumping from one thing to the next in a nervous wreck, unable to keep his mind to one thing without slipping into a deathtrap of thoughts that plagued his mind like a screaming banshee.
He eventually found himself bending silently over an overly absorbed Heero's shoulder, so quiet that the Wing pilot obviously had not noticed Death's presence looming above him. "Heero?"
The wooden pencil in Heero's hand snapped as his overwrought grip of iron tightened around the writing tool when he suddenly heard Duo's voice vaporize out of nowhere. I must really be out of it today; I didn't even hear him come in, he thought as he tersely went about picking the long thin splinters from his palm. He let out a heavy breath and said to Duo without even a backwards glance, still working out the wood bits from his now bleeding skin. "Maxwell, what is it? Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Tch, aren't we edgy," he said with a laugh as he ran his fingers through his brownish locks. He slapped Heero playfully on the back, trying his best to cover up his own insecurities.
"You're one to talk. I saw the way you were barely able to keep to one thing for five minutes all day, Maxwell."
"So you were watching me?"
"Hn." He did not say much more than that and continued to pick at his bloody hand, irritated that he had been found out, wincing slightly as he pulled a particularly nasty looking piece from his flesh. Suddenly, he saw a wiry pair of pale hands cover his wounded palm, dabbing at the blood splotches with a corner of black cloth. Twisting around in his chair, he saw a bowed head of chestnut hair leaning over his shoulder, gently cleansing his hand with a scrap torn from his sleeve. "Duo?"
There was the faint sound of him chuckling as he shook his head. "You're doing such a sloppy job of this, Heero. Let me clean this for you."
"Duo, you don't need to—"
He pressed his fingers into the wounds purposefully, making Heero gulp down a yelp. "Don't give me that shit, Heero. I'm to help you whether you want me to or not. I'm going to be your friend whether you want me or not and I'm going to be here for you no matter what! So don't give me that lie that you don't want me around here, 'cause I know you want nothing but to have a close friend… even if it is only me."
He found a small grin crossing his face at that. Refusing to address Duo directly on the matter while the braided American went about dressing and wrapping the hand with scraps torn from his own sleeve, Heero found himself lost in a string of alien and strangely comforting musings. Aah, Duo, how is it you know me so well? You seem to know more about me than even a "friend" ought to. Not that you're closed to me at all; more like I'm just too callous and proud, but I wish… I wish I knew more about you….
"Heero," he felt a shake rattle through his body. "Heero, you know, it's getting sort of late. Why don't you take a break and get something to eat? I'll even cook for you."
"I guess," he said quietly, dropping the remains of the pencil onto the L3 map. He massaged his forehead gingerly before rising to follow Duo out of his darkened room. "This is all really trying my sanity. I don't know what to do anymore."
"Well neither do I!" Duo said cheerfully as he walked into the kitchen, giving Heero's shirt a hard yank, sending the Japanese boy practically toppling into the little tiled area after him. When he finally regained his composure, standing up straight and fixing his slightly messy appearance. Duo went on as he stooped beneath the counter to fish a skillet out of a cabinet. "But you don't see me locked away in my room pretending to be pouring over mission details."
Heero's eyes narrowed as he watched the black clad figure paused on the ground, his eyes shadowed by his bangs and baseball cap, his pretty rose pink lips twisted in an obvious smirk. "What do you mean?"
"Aw I'm not as stupid as you like to think I am," Duo whistled innocently. "I saw you sitting there, barely keeping your eyes on either your computer or your map. Naw, I thought it was pretty amusing the way you would switch between staring blankly at the wall above your desk and watching me goof off all day from behind your halfway closed door."
Heero clapped his mouth open and closed a few times, his eyes a bit wide with shock that Duo had noticed him observing. Duo had just seemed so much more… interesting… than the mission. He had smiled to himself whilst Duo slept, bare legs and arms informally draped over the sides of the large armchair that sat adjacent to the couch and had leered darkly when the braided boy accidentally slipped on a puddle of water in the kitchen, barely able to catch himself (and his bowl of ramen noodles) before a real disaster could occur. It was actually rather amazing how much of Duo's actions Heero had been able to track during the day from his immobile spot in his room.
"Hah," Duo let out a tiny sound from the back of his throat as he bounced back to his feet, drumming the bottom of the copper skillet with his fingers. He winked, "Gotcha!"
Suddenly there was the low rumble of thunder from outside. Duo looked up from his pan, one chocolate hued brow arched curiously as he turned to see the first few droplets of rain fall outside the arched windows in the living room. The lights in the apartment all flickered in unison for a moment as a vibrant crack of lightning lit the air outside. Duo let out an exasperated sigh, pulling off his cap and swatting it in an annoyed fashion against the countertop. "God, when will those weather control fools realize all the trouble they cause the colony's power systems whenever they try to do thunder…? Stupid bastards up there, running things, you know?"
"That's the way it works," Heero shrugged as he walked over towards Duo, taking the pan from him as he passed by and set it on the stove. "But there's nothing we can do about the idiotic decisions of others, so we might as well deal with it. Besides, I thought you liked rain."
"Real rain, Hee-chan," Duo smiled as he moved towards the refrigerator to forage for ingredients to toss together into his stir-fry. "Like on Earth."
"Oh," he answered simply before moving back out of the kitchen, saying something about shutting down his laptop should the storm short circuit the colony's power sources, as it was most likely to. When he came back, he found Duo silently yet animatedly going about his cooking duties in the pleasant smelling kitchen, the steam rising from the pan swaddling the American in an ethereal kind of appearance. When he was finally finished, he dumped the meat and vegetables into two bowls, offering one to Heero. The Japanese boy just waved a hand at the bowl and shook his head. "I'm… not hungry anymore. Gomen, Maxwell."
"Now Hee-chan, you have to eat," Duo said in a mocking voice, shoving the bowl towards Heero again. "I'll force feed you if I have to! Don't look at me that way! You know I'll do it!"
"Fine, if it makes you happy!" Heero threw his arms up in irate defeat, an over exaggerated motion that made Duo snigger. Heero fished around in a drawer until he was able to produce a pair of matching chopsticks before snatching the bowl from his roommate and stalking to the bar to eat.
"Hmm, food always makes grouchy people feel better," Duo waved a finger around as he spoke, standing in the middle of the kitchen, his own dinner carefully balanced in his other hand. He went to tucking in, his hand working so fast to shovel food down his throat that it seemed almost inhumanly possible that he could still manage to watch Heero from beneath his dark eyelashes all the while.
"It seems you take to watching me as well," Heero commented knowingly, looking up briefly as he swallowed his last mouthful of meat, laying the chopsticks formally over the lip of the bowl.
Duo's large violet eyes darted upwards, still roving over Heero's form. He said in a darkly seductive voice as he laid his bowl aside and sauntered over to the counter, leaning over so his face was barely apart from Heero's. "What can I do? You're a beautiful thing to spy on."
"As are you," Heero said with a grim lick of his lips, watching Duo's face for his reaction to that comment. There was another loud and noticeable roar of thunder outside as the weather started to get a little out of hand. The hiss of the rain pouring like a waterfall from the colony's weather mechanisms echoed through the silence that hung between the warm breaths between the two ex pilots. The lights all dimmed again at the following crackle of lightning that ripped through the stale colony air.
Duo narrowed his eyes as he nibbled the tip of his tongue. He was about to open his mouth when there was the sudden sound of shouting and banging from outside, loud enough to drown out even the drumming pound of the phony torrent. "The hell?" he wondered aloud as he pulled himself up off his elbows.
Heero swiveled around in his seat to watch Duo as he made his way from the kitchen towards the windows. Duo pressed his face against the glass, peering out into the wet darkness outside to the faintly glowing street below. Amused, he watched as Duo's mouth dropped into a frown and reached to wrench the window open. "Hey, you kids!" Duo shouted out into the night as he bent over the windowsill, his braid dripping over the ledge and out the window. "Yeah that's right, you in the orange! Can't you shut the hell up? Have you no consideration that I'm trying to make a move on my roommate up here while you bastards are screaming bloody hell down there!? What time is it anyway? You and your little friends should be in bed! …Eh? Same to you!" Heero shook his head hopelessly, Duo's lack of tact never failing to entertain him. Duo had never been one to butter things up with needless details to make it sound good. Whatever was on his mind was what came out on his tongue, no filter between the two. Duo turned around a little and said apologetically to Heero, "Hey, Hee-chan, just sit tight. These little puss ball suckers will be out of here in a minute—" Duo snapped back around, hanging even further out the window, pulling a knee up onto the windowsill as he screamed back down at the troublemakers on the road.
Heero almost had to physically use his hand to turn his head away from the taunting sight of the leather material tightening over Duo's luscious little bottom as he drooped himself more out the window, and then had to mentally reprimand himself for letting his eyes stray like that. When he had gotten through all that, he had to try and figure out why he had been looking in the first place.
"Huh, what's that you little punk? …Goddamn, kid, stop trying to be all tough. Do you really think wandering around in a fake thunderstorm in the dead of night makes you a hero? …Huh, believe me, I do know about it so just shut up!"
"Duo," Heero said quietly as he stood and started to walk over to the window. Duo's only reaction was to wave his hand back at his friend dismissively, as if to say he had it all under control. He kept at it anyway though, "Duo, just let it be!"
"Like the song?" he turned around and grinned, water droplets flying from the tail of his braid as he whipped about, flashing Heero another wink from across the room before taking back to chasing away the loudmouths outside. "I'll tell you monsters again! Get outta here! …Huh, what will I do about it? Either I'll come down there and break every bone in your stupid little body so quick you'll barely know what hit you or I'll get my roommate over here to just kill you."
"Now Duo, that's a little extreme, even for me," Heero chided with a warm smile that seemed very out of character to the American as he came over to join him by the window. Peering over Duo's shoulder he saw a group of teenagers all bunched together and waving their arms up at the window and shouting obscenities.
"Ah, is that your roommate, you girly looking bastard?" one of the kids shouted up at Duo. Duo stuck out his tongue and waving his fist menacingly as the boy went on. "Hah, you're his little feminine man-whore, huh?"
"Oh God, I'll kill him," Duo had his hands balled in two tight fists and was full ready to jump out the window, the only thing restraining him being Heero's tight grip around his waist.
"Duo, Duo, stop being a moron!" Heero grunted as he jerked his friend away from the window, rather ungracefully dumping him on the floor beside him. "Why do you think he said that at all? You're getting worked up is exactly what he wanted to see. Don't reward him!"
"Aw, easy for you to say," Duo grumbled, picking himself up and dragging himself back to the windowsill, large amethyst eyes peeking over the wooden ledge to see if they had gone yet. I just want some nice quiet time with my Hee-chan before I die; is that so fucking hard to ask?
"Duo, they're gone," Heero rocked Duo's crouching form gently with the back of his hand, his other deftly twirling his handgun around on his index finger. "To think that such a simple device could send such a rowdy lot scattering so damn quick." He laughed darkly as he laid the weapon down on the table beside the window.
"You're a sadistic bastard," Duo said with a vicious grin up at Heero as his fingers started easing the green twisty that held his braid together. "God, look at how wet my hair is. It'll take a damn year to dry."
"Serves you right for leaning out into the rain like that," Heero shrugged, pulling the window closed and locking the latch tightly, giving the thing a light rap to make sure it was secure.
"Not that I mind or anything," Duo was saying from his spot on the floor as he flung his head forward, letting the long mane of chocolate tresses leak over and around his face, sweeping downwards into a damp puddle on the floor before him. "It's nice having my hair down like this, you know?"
"It makes you look… different," Heero said in his nasal monotone, touching his lips thoughtfully with his thumb, his other fingers curling beneath his chin, still trying to figure out just what was changed about Duo when his hair was spilling free like that. He almost had it too, when he suddenly lost his visual. The lights softened again before snapping out in a white flash that seemed to engulf everything in its brief moment of dominance.
"Gre-e-eat," he heard Duo whistle in the newfound darkness. He could barely make out Duo's lithe shape in the gloomy shadows, his wiry form outlined by the metallic bluish-white of the lightning outside when it crackled overtop of the city, painting highlights in the thick flow of brown hair that poured over his shoulders. "Shit, Heero, I can't even see three feet in front of me."
"I'll get some candles," was the methodical answer to Duo's comment. He heard the shuffle of sock-clad feet on the wooden floor before the footsteps were muffled on the white carpet that lay between Duo and the kitchen. Leave it to Heero to know his damn apartment like the back of his hand, even in the godforsaken dark….
There was the sound of drawers opening and the faint chink of glasses, the swish of some kind of liquid and then those sock footfalls again. More clinking noises, this time much nearer, and the faint image of Heero stooping down to the floor, the whites of his eyes shining the blackened room. Duo soon found Heero pressing something somewhat soft into his hand, soon realizing that it was a candle. A burst of light as Heero kindled a small spark on the tip of a match and reached forward to light the wick of Duo's candle before going about setting light to the six other candles he had sitting on the floor beside him and the one he held in his own hand.
The soft illumination rose upon a bit of a surprise. Duo's eyes widened a bit as Heero settled down more comfortably on the floor and pushed one of the goblets filled with dark red wine set on the ground amid the circle of flames towards his roommate, still without a word. Leaning against the wall beneath the window, he looked at Duo expectantly as he took the other glass himself, twirling the elegant stem of the vessel between his fingers, his eyes falling from Duo back to the wine.
"This… this is nice, Hee-chan," Duo said, not quite sure what to make of the whole ordeal. It was more like some kind of crazy hopeful dream come true, only Duo was not sure that it was really happening. He can be so damn confusing sometimes, the American thought to himself as he lifted the glass. He was about to slam back the entire cup (God knew he needed something to settle his nerves), when he decided otherwise. Lifting the goblet out forward a bit, he said, "To life, Hee-chan."
He looked up again, staring at Duo awkwardly, as if he was not quite sure what Duo was doing. Then he slowly extended his arm, even leaning over a bit so that he could click his goblet against Duo's as he responded, his usually dull voice drenched with an emotional sort of connotation that neither had ever heard before. "To… to life, Duo."
Duo winked at Heero for the third time that night as he indulged in the pleasant taste of the wine. Good choice, Duo idly thought as he drained the entire glass in one gulp. He peered over the transparent rim of the cup to see Heero fondling his own goblet almost lovingly as he took his time, savoring each tiny sip of the tangy liquid. The only noise was the calm resonance of the rain falling steadily outside and the occasional thunderclap, which were now becoming less frequent. Whether or not the storm ended was not going to bring the power back, so they figured they would just enjoy the vintage feel the candlelight gave off in the cool night air.
"So," Duo said with a heavy sigh and a little shrug as he sunk down against the back of the armchair so he was able to sit across from Heero. He was almost too busy drowning himself in the pool of enigmatic beauty opposite him, glowing like a real angel in the golden light right there before him, to bother paying attention to anything he was saying. But Duo was always like that when he was talking. "So, have you decided what's going on yet? When do we get to kick some shooting star ass?"
Heero's lips cracked into a short-lived smile at Duo's comment before sinking back into that usual serious demeanor. "Tomorrow… tomorrow we are to with Wufei to meet at the spaceport. The Preventers have arranged a stealth shuttle for us and everything we'll need to get the job done. You'll have about, hmm, an hour or so I would estimate, to plant twenty remote mines on the ship while I go and make sure that Stella is taken care of."
"What about Relena?" Duo knew it was a touchy subject and he knew that Heero was probably not keen to talk about it. He also knew that Heero had been giving the woman a lot of thought.
"We'll see when we get there," Heero said loosely, waving his almost empty glass in a neat 360 as he spoke. "It all depends. Her position is a very delicate situation, you know. I have no idea what in the hell she was thinking, turning herself over like that, unless there is the rare chance that she was kidnapped."
"Do you think that's it?" Duo asked, lowering the candle he still held in his other hand low into his lap. The explanation seemed to fit the bill and it made sense enough to Duo anyway.
"No," he said simply. He looked almost as if he were in disbelief about what he was going to say, his eyes still solemnly contemplating the glass in his hand as he went on. "She's protected far too well nowadays. After the Mariemeia incident, you know that there's no chance that anyone would let the same thing happen again. No, there has to be something else… some other motive as to why she would go up there on her own, especially when we told her specifically not to make herself conspicuous."
Duo looked over at Heero from behind the strands of wispy chestnut bangs hanging over his wide violet eyes, saying uncertainly. "Maybe that's why she did it."
Heero narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, maybe she turned herself over because we told her not to," Duo said pensively, touching the rim of his empty class against his cheek. "Though I think it's all sort of a silly notion—" here he laughed nervously—"Why would she do that, when you, no less, told her to stay put?"
Heero shook his head as if to say, "I don't think that has a thing to do with it." Duo could see how unbelievably stressed out the perfect soldier had become over all this. His hands were rattling and his eyes were dark, his lips pale and his hair even messier than usual. Suddenly, Duo's eyes widened. It seemed to be one of those slow-motion things that appears to come about over the span of an hour but really only occurred in split seconds; Duo watched in complete distress as the nerve wracked Heero went to try and take another taste of wine, only to bite right through the glass, the translucent lip of the goblet exploding into a burst of tiny fragments and wine.
"You're so accident prone today!" Duo said, scooting over to where Heero sat, spitting up little pieces of glass into his hands. His lips were now cut and bloody, a dribble of the crimson liquid starting to leak from the corner of his mouth. Duo, without a single thought about it, reached to his sleeve and tore another strip of cloth from his shirt, using it to dabble at Heero's wounded lips. Wiping gently, he used his cloth-swaddled fingers to tenderly pry Heero's mouth open a bit, darting inside with the fabric to wipe away any glass shards that might still be inside. "At this rate, you'll kill yourself by just worrying about this mission."
"Thinking about the morals and reasons is worse than the actual mission," Heero managed to spit out as Duo pulled the rag away from his mouth. His torn flesh was still bleeding freely, though the flow of the blood was not as thick as it had been before.
"But you do anyway," Duo said softly, leaning his chin on Heero's shoulder.
"You do, and then you get me thinking about it," Heero accused, fingering his tender lips. "I never used to question the missions until I met people like you… most of all you."
"Hmm," Duo sighed into the fabric of Heero's green shirt, tapping his thigh in deep meditative considerations. He said nothing, for once not able to think of anything to say in response to such a comment. Besides, he was far too engrossed in being so close to Heero to bother with thinking up something witty to throw back in his face. Too busy torturing himself with that heavy scent of his and the warmth that the feel the bare skin of his shoulders sent coursing through his body, making him quiver, shivering. Glancing briefly to the side, he noticed that Heero had closed his eyes and was now leaning against the wall, obviously tired and hassled from the mind-taxing day. Blood still glistened in the creamy mixture of yellowed candle glow and the silver auxiliary lighting that faintly illuminated the wet outside world. He pulled back just a bit as so he could swallow the beautiful image of Heero dozing beside him, for the first time in a good few weeks, looking relaxed and peaceful as he ever had. Gingerly, Duo found himself fingering Heero's abused mouth, gently flicking blood droplets from those enticing pale lips curved in a sad frown. Soon he found himself softly burying his own mouth against the sleeping Heero's, licking away the reminiscent blood that still lingered on the skin of the object of his affection.
Heero stirred, feeling the blanket of heat that poured over his skin. Half open eyes, Duo cuddled close… he was too tired to make a production out of it and let himself drift back to sleep….
—O—
