Little Tin Flower, Red Stitches and a Rain-Soaked Angel
Part VI ~ StellarBy Shannon the Twisted Link Worshiper
—O—
Duo reclined back on the long red bench in the main terminal at the space port, his arms tucked behind his head, long chestnut toned braid snaking its way over the edge into a coil on the floor. His narrow body was covered with his long leather trench coat, serving as a sort of blanket in the chilly spaceport. The spaceport was a section of the colony that was separated from the rest, basically just a series of gateways for incoming and outgoing ships that were connected by a complex network of offices and passageways. Here in the main atrium, there was the quiet humdrum of people rushing to catch flights they were late for, checking baggage and buying tickets, though all the commotion was lost on Duo. From beneath his heavy eyelids, all he could see was the great expanse of outer space as it lay sprawling beyond the great skylights that covered the metallic ceiling above. He could see the watery glow of the Earth, hanging like a great shining sapphire in the galactic sky.
Heero stood nearby, behind the bench, arms folded over his khaki buckle covered jacket, waiting crossly for Wufei. The Chinese boy was more than a half hour late, a detail that was driving Heero virtually insane. Obsessed with punctuality to the very second, Heero thought it should be common courtesy from the rest of the world to at least exercise similar habits. And while Duo seemed to be lost in his own world, staring up at the fading stars above, Heero could barely stand still, constantly shifting his weight, Prussian eyes darting over the crowd, ever searching out the tardy Wufei.
"Where is he?" Heero grumbled under his breath, jamming his hands into the deep pockets of his coat. "This is getting to be ridiculous. He of all people should know that time is not something we have a lot of."
Duo made a sound that resembled a hum and a sigh before he spoke dismissively. "Aw, don't worry about it so much Heero. 'Fei's probably got just as much as you on his mind. Give the poor guy a break."
"He's not the one who has to actually go up there, Duo," Heero growled defensively. Fishing around in his pockets, he found his fingers toying nervously with the random objects stuffed into them: some old bits of paper and paperclips, his thin wallet, and taffy? Must have been Duo, Heero let his unsympathetic accusing stare fall onto the napping boy lying beside him as he fished out the few remaining pieces and the used candy wrappers, discarding the litter unceremoniously onto Duo's chest. God, he's always got his hands all over my things.
"Hey," Duo groaned, shifting about on the bench, a motion that caused all the paper and sweets to roll onto the floor. "Hey, just because you don't like my little gifts doesn't mean you have to be so blatant about it."
"My jacket," Heero said possessively. Duo could feel those beautiful dark blue eyes, flecked with danger, glowering right through him without even having to turn around in the slightest bit. Heero's dark monotone cut across him like whiplash. "Ruin your own clothes, Maxwell. You can be so immature!"
"Whatever you say," Duo closed his eyes again, tugging his own coat to cover his body more. He was freezing in that damn terminal! "It couldn't kill you to share once in a while."
"It couldn't kill you to ask," Heero answered tartly. "There are just some things that I don't need other people constantly pawing."
"Yuy!" a deep familiar voice called out over the crowd. Heero turned his attentions away from Duo to see a heavily breathing Wufei, clad in a Preventers uniform complete with green and blue denim jacket and tight jeans, come walking (more like jogging) towards them, lugging a heavy black suitcase in one hand and a small palm computer unit in the other. "Goddamn, I'm so sorry! Got held up at the office, so I had to catch a later flight and then—"
"No big deal, 'Fei," Duo said with a wave of his hand from beneath his trench coat. He had pulled the beautiful garment up so that the collar was concealing his nose and mouth, his half lidded eyes barely visible from beneath the shadow of his messy bangs. His legs were casually crossed, one arm still shoved beneath his head. "Just don't let it happen again. It's almost like you wanted us to turn into icicles waiting for you here."
Wufei arched a slender black eyebrow as he noticed Duo for the first time since he had arrived, obviously amused and a little bewildered at Duo's antics. He's one who doesn't change, Wufei mused to himself as he turned to face Heero again. "Anyway, I hope you both will forgive me for this terrible injustice. It's not fair of me to have you go through all this trouble for the Preventers and me and then we can't even get a representative to you on time." He offered the suitcase to Heero as he went on. "This is everything you two will need. The uh… 'package,' a few weapons you might find useful and all your flight information. That includes clearance codes, security details and such."
"Thank you, Wufei," Heero said with a slight formal bow as he accepted the suitcase. As he set it down beside the bench, he reached over and ripped the coat from over top of Duo, slinging the fine black leather garment over his shoulder as Duo leapt to his feet, arms wrapped around his torso and jumping about in exaggerated frigidness. Heero barely gave Duo another glance while Wufei could hardly tear his eyes from the hyperactive American, the look on the Chinese boy's face a strange concoction of embarresment, confusion and delight.
Shaking his head, he too turned his focus away from Duo and went on speaking to Heero. And though it seemed like Heero was the only one paying any attention to what the ex Shenlong pilot was saying, Duo was full aware of every word that poured from Wufei's mouth, though his clowning around sure as hell did not let on. "You'll find you're spacecraft waiting for you in one of the private hangars on the other side of the facility. It's a new model, a speedy little stealth vessel that will get you over there in half the usual clocked time. The ship also is equipped with a mechanism for hacking into databases and changing anything that might make your approach look suspicious on enemy radar. The software you'll need is in the briefcase. …I think that's everything." Wufei absently tugged at the tongue of ivory hair at the nape of his neck as he pondered, hoping to high heaven there was nothing he had forgotten to say.
"I can still contact you from the shuttle, right?" Heero asked. Wufei gave a quick nod, to which Heero said, "Then I will let you know if there is anything we need from you, alright?"
That seemed to comfort the normally well-composed Chinese. Wufei stood up straight, dropping his hands to his side, shaking his head as if to rid him of any weakness that had taken over in the past moments. Obviously Heero and Duo had not been the only ones mired in tense anticipation of Operation ASTROPHYLL. Then he put a hand to his forehead in a rigid salute as he said to the pair standing before him; "Good luck, Heero, Duo. We're all praying for you."
"Good luck and goodbye, Wufei," Duo waved cheerfully before standing at attention and returning Wufei's good form. Heero also gave his Preventer friend a similar salute before turning quickly on his heel and tramping into the crowd, Duo quick on his heels, bomb filled suitcase in tow.
Duo stood just behind Heero as his partner put in the security codes giving them clearance to the restricted Preventers hangar where their ship awaited. The door slid back with a quick hiss as Heero punched the last key, giving them entrance to another long corridor that branched off to separate launch docks. They walked along in silence, Duo barely able to keep the smiling mask on his face as they marched towards the end of the hangar the mood was so strange. He even had trouble making a comment about their dock number when they finally reached their destination. "Hn, 666. Hee-chan, we got the Devil's number! Guess it suits one who always had the Devil's luck!"
"Hope your luck doesn't run out, Maxwell," Heero said forebodingly as he waited for Duo to step through the door.
"I thought you didn't believe in luck, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-For-Chance," Duo jested tauntingly as the door slammed shut behind him, making him jump a bit in surprise before he nabbed the suitcase again and hurried after Heero across the catwalk.
The walkway wound around the perimeter of the large two storied room, surrounding a sleek green coloured spacecraft with short swept back thruster equipped wings and a small tail fin adorning its dorsal aft end sitting on a rotating turntable for launch. The ship was also outfitted with three good-sized booster rockets and seemed to be capable of donning additional rockets if necessary. Heero was silently trotting down the straight metal staircase that led from the catwalk down to the ground. Duo watched as the seemingly pitiless boy slowly treaded heavily around the craft, examining her underbelly and other mechanical endowments with obvious interest and fascination, each time his sneaker clad foot hit the floor, a loud hollow echo resonating through the hangar.
"Pleased, are you?" Duo called, setting the suitcase down and leaning on the railing that lined the catwalk's edge. "She's a very beautiful ship, a work of art if you will. Hmm, like my old buddy. I remember being told the very same thing about Deathscythe."
Heero made a noise of affirmation, confirming to Duo that he had heard and acknowledged the remark. Either the young Japanese was too engrossed with surveying the vessel or that he was barefaced ignoring Duo. Whichever it was, Duo shrugged it off with one of his classic smiles, letting Heero go on being himself. After all this time, Duo had accepted that Heero just sometimes dealt with things that way, that's all.
"It's obviously a very advanced shuttle," he said after a while, climbing back up the stairway to where Duo stood. "It will get the job done."
"Yeah?" Duo raised a brow, spinning around as so he could lean on the banister, draping his elbows over the cold iron rail as he slouched into a lax half standing, half sitting position, one leg bent at the knee, the other stretched out before him. "Hmm, but do you think that we'll be able to get the job done?"
"It all depends on how things play out," Heero said somewhat grimly. "Let's hope for a little of your Devil's luck, shall we?"
Duo touched his forehead in a playful mock salute as he winked and said, "Got a lifetime's worth of that and then some to share!"
The corner of Heero's mouth rose into a hardly noticeable smile that probably would have been lost on any eye but Duo's. The smile gone almost as quickly as it arose, Heero got back to business before Duo had a chance to say a word about it. "Seems like we'll have a good deal of viruses to upload onto their mainframe if we're going to get anywhere near them without notice. I'll let you pilot so I can concentrate on doing just that."
"Well it is a stealth ship," Duo rolled his eyes with a joyful laugh. Then he went on to jest at Heero's pride, an ever-amusing way to spend words. "Ha, are you sure it's just that you know that I'm the one who's got slick shuttle maneuvering down? You just don't want to have to admit that I'm better than you at something."
While Heero knew that he and Duo's skills in the cockpit were pretty much even, what Duo said was true: there was no way he would ever admit aloud that there was something Duo could do better. And just so it would not seem that Duo was the wittier of the two (though the truth on that was also something Heero did not want to come to terms with), Heero found time to snap at Duo before heading off to retrieve some spacesuits from the lockers by the door, "You've got one immature head on your shoulders, Maxwell. It's idiocy like that which will get us killed."
With his back was to Duo, he missed seeing the braided American stick his tongue out after him.
Slouched in the pilot's seat in the cramped cockpit was a very chilly Duo. He had left his leathers behind in the hangar's locker and was now wearing nothing more than an almost scandalously short pair of old worn boxers and a loose fitting sleeveless tee that proclaimed the words "Sex and Candy" in scrawled black letters. Uncomfortable in those constricting spacesuits, his space gear was crammed beneath the chair, rolled up and stuffed into his helmet until he was ready to slip into it... right next to where he had ditched the suitcase and his tin flower embossed radio, an item he could barely even dream of leaving behind. Heero sat beside him in the other seat, arms folded and eyes closed, his usual green shirt rolling off his shoulders and his legs covered in that delicious tight spandex, not leaving much to Duo's very inventive imagination.
They were waiting for Heero's computer to finish uploading the mission data into the ship's files, and while Heero seemed to be taking it all very calmly no matter how mad his insides were, Duo was physically going nuts. Squirming for what seemed to be the hundred thousandth time in his seat, changing positions yet again, he said, "Aw, is it finished yet, Hee-chan?"
A narrow cobalt eye slit open the tiniest bit, surveying the computer that sat wired to the control panel before him. "Almost. Give it five more minutes. You can go ahead and start activating the dock's turntable."
"Roger that, .01," Duo said with a gleeful wink in Heero's unnoticing direction, finally glad to have something to do. Heero might have been able to wait patiently a half hour for an upload, but Duo could barely sit through five minutes of cartoons without fidgeting, so it was pretty imaginable what agony he had been going through during that time. He reached over and lifted the clear cover that capped the red switch that controlled the large rotating wheel beneath the ship. Surprisingly adept fingers flying over the keypad beside the red switch, inputting the degree of turn he wished the wheel to move, the ship began to slowly revolve clockwise until its rounded nose was facing the enclosed runway, the end of which was still air locked. The second Heero's records finished downloading onto the ship's CPU, Duo was ready to punch in the airlock codes and send that baby hurtling out of there. But until then, Duo could only wait. Smoothing his hair for the twenty-eighth time (that he had been counting), he weaved his fingers together and slid them between the back of his head and the chair's headrest and closed his eyes. Silence….
"Hee-chan?"
The response came slowly, as if from a man who was slowly waking up. "Yeah?"
"What would you die for?"
A quick undisputed answer this time; "Peace."
"Oh," Duo sighed, sinking deeper into the chair. It was always hurt him to think that Heero was so willing to die for an ideal that was inconceivable to attain perfectly. "But Heero, if you did die, what would that prove? You'd never get to see if what you were fighting for was ever attained. Wouldn't you want to be able to embrace whatever it was you had been willing to dedicate your existence to?"
"Well if that's how you feel, what would you die for?" His voice was direct and concise.
Duo had not expected the question, but he knew that Heero was waiting for a sincere honest answer. When he spoke in reply to Heero's question, his words came from the heart. He wasted no time thinking; everything he said was exactly how he felt at that exact moment. "I would die to protect my friends… for you…. If dying meant that I could leave a safe world behind for them to live in, then it's all okay."
"But you just said that it was not worth throwing your life away for something you could not enjoy afterwards," Heero said quickly. His words had come rapidly, as if to beat Duo at his own game, though confusion and curiosity could most certainly be heard on his tongue.
Duo shook his head with one of his bleak mysterious smiles as he sat back up, dropping his hands into his lap. "If it's a thing, then it's not worth it, but when it comes to people you care about, then it is."
"You care that much about the others, even though you've barely spoken to them in years?" Heero asked as the computer let out a solid little chirp to signal the success of the upload, leaning forward to finish the process. His fingers stopped working over the keys for a second as he finished his train of thought. "You care that much about me? You treat me like I'm your brother."
Duo reached across the console that rested between the two pilot's seats and covered Heero's hand with his own as he said reassuringly. "Of course I do Heero. You're closer to me than any brother could be. You know, I understand how hard life's been for the other guys. It's been hard for us too, but we still find reasons to keep on living."
"Hn," Heero nervously jerked his hand away from Duo's warm touch, quickly returning to his work on his laptop. The encouragement from Duo only managed to make Heero's sentiments do cartwheels and other ridiculous aerobatics (the kind of stuff Trowa would be proud of), mudding his true feelings even more. He had no idea what to think anymore. "Ah, you can launch now, Maxwell," he said efficiently, trying to rid the strange amiable mood in the air between them.
"You got it, .01," Duo winked again, his jovial facial expression this time discerned by a somewhat pleased Heero. Duo went about preparing the launch, opening the locks that kept the ship firmly clamped to the turntable and opening up the airlock at the end of the runway. He could see the glowing route markers that extended from the end of the shielded runway before they melted into little white dots that were indistinguishable from the rest of the twinkling stars. Then, gripping the double handled thruster lever, he rammed it forward with all the passion of one who was destined to live amongst the stars, sending their ship sailing out into the depths of the universe, towards death, life and the future.
Hours had passed and now they were just outside of the L3 sector. Duo slowed the powerful ship to a more natural speed, watching as the grey L3 colonies sprang out of the gloomy black before them, looming up in a dark grim kind of beauty. But just outside of the sector was something that most certainly did not belong amongst the peaceful space colonies. It was a long silver spacecraft, obviously qualified for intergalactic travel and a vast array of other sophisticated untapped capabilities.
"That's it?" Duo said solemnly as the ship grew larger before them. Then he commented in a much more leisurely tone, "You know, at this speed, it will be another hour or so before we get there."
"Yeah, I know. It's fine" Heero said simply, twirling a compact disk loaded with the essential virus to jam the enemy star cruiser's radar and cover up their approach. His eyes skimmed the control panel, searching for the required driver to use the data. "Hn," he grunted when he found it, fixed above Duo's seat on the curving roof of the cockpit. "Excuse me, Duo," he said as he leapt from his chair and, before Duo even realized what had happened, was straddling the American boy in a rather suggestive arrangement as he reached up to the device, fumbling with the disk as he slid it into the drive. "Damn silly place for the system," Heero muttered as he worked. "I hope I'm not in your way, Maxwell," he said with a slight twinge of concern in his tone as he gave the top of Duo's head a quick glance before returning to his codes.
"Not at all. It's on autopilot for now, anyway," Duo said with a sly grin. Heero was obviously too dense to realize what a position he was in while he was so preoccupied with his hacking. Not that Duo minded or anything. He was rather enjoying the view.
"Hn, okay," Heero said with a furrowed brow, "because this might take a little more time." He shifted the position of his knees, in avertedly brushing his hips against Duo as he strained to get closer up to the console above. His sharp ears piqued at the low groan Duo made as he did so, and a quick glance downwards found the braided boy cuddled rather comfortably against his thigh. He shook it off, telling himself that it was just the close confines of the cockpit and nothing more. Nothing, nothing… or it's just Duo being himself… so it's just nothing….
Heero altered his knee positions yet again, looking down for a moment once more, hesitating about whether or not he should ask… he did anyway. "Un, Duo, can you give me a leg up?
"Gladly," Duo answered, that devious grin still adorning his beautiful pale rose lips. He had to suppress another moan as Heero lifted his knee to Duo's shoulder, the other now resting on the narrow armrest. Duo found himself with his hands beneath Heero's one thigh, pushing up upwards, not about to miss the chance for such close contact. Duo closed his eyes wistfully, Better enjoy it Maxwell, 'cause it's the closest Heero Yuy would ever let you get to him. You could love him with every inch of your soul, but he could never love you back. Not the way you love him….
There was a beep from the control panel, a real time message from Wufei coming up on the main screen between the two seats. The somewhat distorted picture of Wufei on the screen seemed a little intrigued by the sight he beheld on his end of the line. Behind him sat Sally and Lady Une, each showing their equal amusement in her own way.
"I do hope we're not interrupting anything," Une said with a little knowing grin.
A beet red Duo peered around Heero's slender body to see the screen and the three Preventers smiling back at him. He waved and said in his usual cheer ridden voice, "Aw, yeah right. Like there would be much to interrupt here."
"Well you just seemed… occupied," Wufei said blankly, trying his best to avert Duo's not so innocent curious countenance, keep a straight face and not let either of the women behind him realize it.
"Oh I was," Duo answered ambiguously, his shining indigo eyes narrowing slightly in a devilish gaze. "So what's up 'Fei? Anything so out of shape that it required you, your boss and your boss's boss to send a message all the way up here?"
"Nothing of the kind!" Wufei said indignantly, the look on his face radiating a want to reach through the screen and strangle Duo with his own braid. "You really are still that bumbling little brat I knew so long ago. How discriminatory of you to assume so!"
"We were just worried," Une said kindly, placing a calming hand on the young Chinese boy's shoulder. Sally nodded in agreement as Une spoke. "It's been so long since we saw either of you face to face, and Wufei said that you both seemed so worked up about this… I hope it's not asking too much of you to carry out the mission."
"It's nothing," Heero's voice boomed over Duo's little whimper of dismissal at their concerns, his body accidentally slamming against Duo once more, the action stifling anything more that Duo was going to say. "This is nothing we can't take care of."
"Are you sure?" Une asked. "Wufei said that you would have to be blind not to notice how tense the pair of you seemed. Because it's not too late for you to pull out—"
Heero cut her off, not bothering to turn around anymore as he went back to his files, speaking shortly and somewhat frigidly. "I would never even consider it. There is far too much riding on this to stop now. There's just been a lot of… stuff going on right now."
"Heero," Sally tried to say something, but Duo didn't give her the chance.
"You heard the man," he said gleefully. "We have it all under control! It's like one great big video game! Turning off the system now only means that you lose. Losing is not an option with Duo Maxwell! Especially losing video games!"
"If that's what you feel is justice," Wufei said with an indistinguishable sigh, "then by all means, Godspeed. I wish you well on your mission to regain peace. An autocracy is not what the world needs right now."
"You said it, 'Fei," Duo winked and gave the trio a thumbs up sign. "Well we really should be going now. Time waits for no man, and it certainly ain't going to slow down for the likes of us." He cast a quick look up at Heero, his mouth pursed in a tight unemotional line. But I swear it would wait for you, he thought as he let his eyes rove the fine definition of Heero's jaw. He reached forward, his arm snaking around Heero's muscled legs, shoulders rubbing against the Japanese boy as he did so, and cut the transmission with another wink serving as a goodbye before any of them could say another word. He had never been one for drawn out goodbyes and all that sappy jazz. It hurt too much, and Duo liked to avoid as much of that as possible.
"Duo, did you really mean what you said about giving your life for your friends?" Heero asked when they were surrounded by silence once again, his question tumbling from an unknown realm that Duo had barely even expected, much less prepared to greet.
"Of course I did," Duo said proudly, a little hurt that Heero would doubt anything he had said. "You know I don't lie. Why would I tell you something if it weren't true?"
"I don't know," Heero said quietly. Realizing what he had said, he quickly amended for it. "I'm sorry, Duo. I didn't mean to doubt you."
Duo smiled, pleasantly surprised and quite touched by Heero's apparent concern for his feelings. "It's absolutely okay, Heero."
"Would you… die for the mission?" he asked, his eyes still focused on his tinkering above, not looking once down at Duo, though whether it was because he was truly absorbed in his work or because he did not wish to meet Duo's eyes. Somehow, Duo felt it was more the latter than the former.
"It's a thing, Heero," Duo shook his head. "It's not worth dying for. I told you, only the ones I care about. This mission is something that will make the world a better place but… no one I love is in jeopardy right now, so there isn't a sense of urgency that I must carry this out at the expense of my life."
"Hn." He was quiet for a while, not saying anything more as he went about with uploading the compact disc's data into the computer, unaware of how his tiniest movements and rubs affected his chestnut haired partner. He seemed to be musing over what Duo said, tossing it around his logical brain until he could not bear it anymore. "But Duo, God knows what could happen if Stella is allowed to survive! You know, it could mean the end of many colonies, many lives, including Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and the others."
"I want to live for this moment right now!" Duo argued back. "I can't be like you Heero! I wanted to, during the war. I tried really hard to be like you, cold and uncaring, always worried about the mission, never questioning orders… but I can't do that! I can't be like you!"
"So you think that just doing whatever you want is the way to go about things? Do you really think that's wise?" Heero's voice was defensive and on the attack simultaneously. Duo could feel Heero's muscles tensing up beneath his fingers as he spoke, his whole body quivering with passion or rage (though which, Duo could not tell).
"You have to be able to go on without regretting anything! That's what you said!" Duo snapped. He could see his words had hit home. Heero's gaze tightened as his motions became more and more mechanical.
Nevertheless, Heero found it inside himself to pursue this battle of words. He said in a rather callous voice, "But just pretending like everything will be okay isn't going to work all the time. Sometimes you do what you want to, but others you do things you have to. This mission is something we have to do."
"No it's not!" Duo dug his fingers into the smooth fabric of Heero's black bicycle shorts, offering a bit more leverage and five finger presses of pain. "You didn't have to do this. You did it because your heart told you to, didn't you, Heero? Heero!"
Heero was not saying anything as Duo shook him roughly until he could not take any more of the American's incessant badgering. "Yes, it's what my heart told me to do. So why do you question my motives? If you don't like putting your life on the line for the greater good, Maxwell, then why come with me? If you're just so selfish to only worry about the people you know… then why did you…?"
"Because I wanted to. You're putting yourself in harm's way and I care about you!" Duo sent his language rocketing up at Heero with another fiery shake. "I couldn't let you go and risk your life alone! Not when you're the most important person in my life right now."
"Duo—"
"And what about you?" Duo went on, his voice rising in volume. Heero could feel the sharp movements of his friend as he reallocated himself in the seat. "Why are you doing this? Why not just leave it to the Preventers?"
"Because they asked me to do it," Heero answered blandly. "…Because Wufei and Sally asked me to do it. You might call it a favour. Besides, you must not have forgotten that I am employed by their department for just this kind of thing."
"You're sure it's not for… for her is it?"
"Of course it's not," he snapped, offended that Duo would even dream of suggesting such a thing. "She just happens to have put herself in the middle of much bigger things."
"As always, it seems," Duo mused dryly.
"She has mistaken my dream to keep peace a living reality for a dream that I protect her because of… love. It was all honor that kept me protecting her, and she thought that was love!" He was cold as he spoke. Duo could tell by the way he spoke his words that he was often troubled by this very issue. "I don't want that. She doesn't realize that not everyone's dreams are the same! I don't need a sugary relationship like that! It's fake and idealistic and she knows it. She doesn't love me for who I am, as an equal."
"Is that true, Heero? You're not just telling me that because you don't want me to see into your heart!" Duo exclaimed in that loud passion filled voice of his. "Because you have a tendency to do that, you know? Hiding your emotions and all that shit! Did you ever love her?"
"Maybe," he said softly, his tone completely different than it had been before. Then he shook his head, "No. No, that was not love. She helped me see the world differently, but then again… all of you did. So no, I did not love her. Not like that."
"Are you sure?"
"Why… do you care so much?" His voice was seeking truth beneath that gruff snarl, Duo could tell. There was something in his eyes that said it. Heero's dark cobalt eyes… they spoke volumes if one was willing to look. "You could die up here! There's a good chance that neither of us will get out of there alive! Do you understand me, Duo? We could very well be killed! We might be dead in a few hours!"
"…I'm in love with you." Duo blurted it out, his tone quieter, voice cracking as tears budding in the corners of his eyes as the words spilled out. He could not hide it any longer, nor try to suppress the growing feelings for his friend that had been kindling inside. It hurt too much to keep it a secret… hurt far too much. Heero's fingers stopped. Duo could feel the perfect soldier's body seem to just freeze in time right there. Oh he heard it all right, Duo thought as he squinted his eyes shut, waiting for Heero to come flying down to tear his hair out and rip away his tongue. He kept speaking, his voice tiny and meek, suddenly quivering with fear at what Heero thought about him now. "It's true; I am. I've always been."
"Duo," Heero breathed. The words kept replaying over and over in his head. I'm in love with you…. But by the time it actually registered what Duo had said, the braided pilot had slid from the pilot's seat and was now climbing out from between the two chairs.
Before he made his escape from the cockpit, reached down and pressed a large white button saying in a voice that concealed any emotion Duo might have been feeling at the time from the perfect soldier, hiding the confusion, fear and bewilderment that swirled through his conscience. Suddenly Heero felt the gravity simulation on the ship fade away, his body beginning to float upwards. Wrapping his legs around the headrest to moor him in a suitable position for his work, he quietly went about finishing up his job as he heard Duo mutter. "There, that'll save on power. I'm sorry, Heero."
It had been barely five minutes since Duo had gone. Five agonizing minutes during which Heero quickly finished uploading the virus into the enemy starship; five silent minutes without the mindless prattle of the American chatterbox; five lonely minutes since the braided one had admitted that he was in love; five minutes… alone…
I'm in love with you….
He sank down into the pilot's seat Duo had just been sitting in. The fabric was still warm from where Duo's bare legs had stuck to the brown leather and Heero could feel the way the chair had molded against the American's slim form after so much time being situated there. He gripped the thin armrests beneath the thruster levers on either side of the chair, keeping himself mired down on the seat in the zero gravity. Why do I care so much…?
I'm in love with you….
Heero could see the starship in the inky sky ahead, still at least twenty minutes away from their current position. He let go of the armrests, savoring the weightless feeling that surged through him as he floated out of the chair. He let himself topple around there, not paying any mind to where or what was around him. Closed eyes, crossed legs and folded arms as he spun around in the cavity behind the pair of seats that were sunk before the bright control panels. It feels… like I'm falling…. I've never felt so lost and alone. Why now? Why can't I keep my mind on the mission? His eyes squinted shut tighter, his brow crinkling as the thoughts tumbled through his mind just as he tumbled about the cockpit, unable to find direction or meaning in anything.
Heero….
His eyes slowly opened once more as he swam over to the other seat and descended down into it. He pulled the harness around his body to keep him in place as he reached forward and typed a code into the computer's mainframe. A small screen slid out from beneath the panel beneath him as he went on keying more into the control panel beside him.
Heero… I…
The screen illuminated and brought up an image split into four quarters, each revealing a camera's view of different regions of the ship. Though it was not a very large craft, and finding Duo would have been simple, Heero was not willing to intrude on his solitude. If Duo wants to be away from me right now, then I need to respect that, he reasoned as his eyes fell upon the little screen. He saw a black and white image of Duo holding himself beneath a small window in the living quarters towards the rear of the ship, watching the stars, his slender bare feet hanging in midair. Punching a few more keys, he made the image grow to take up the entire monitor, sound now filling the tiny speakers that flanked either side of the unit. He could hear him singing. Singing….
"Meet me in outer space.
We could spend a night,
Watch the Earth come up.
I've grown tired of that place.
Won't you come with me?
We could start… again…."
"I want to hear you sing to me more often," Heero said to the colourless image before him. Duo was still holding onto the white metal handle beside the porthole with one hand, the other touching the glass of the window as if he wanted to melt through the transparent barrier and meld with the heavens. "Don't go away, Duo. Don't leave me. If you go, how can you sing for me?" Heero would certainly miss hearing his voice.
"How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do?
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew.
"Meet me in outer space.
I will hold you close,
If you're afraid of heights.
I need you to see this place.
It may be the only way,
That I can show you how it feels,
To be inside… of you…."
The white shirt was slipping down over Duo's muscled shoulders, the fabric floating around him in the antigravity environment. His little red shorts hugged his lithe form tightly, his long chocolate tinted hair swelling about in every possible direction, each pleat of silky brown lingering as if frozen in the air. Duo touched his forehead against the window, no longer looking out at the expanses of space as it lazily meandered by. Heero tapped a few more keys, making the camera zoom in closer, towards his friend's pale figure. It was only when the frame was almost nearly filled with Duo's head and upper torso that Heero could see the tiny round tears floating around his large eyes, dampening his dark lashes and shining on his cheeks. He had never seen tears in zero grav before. He had never cried in space.
"How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do?
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew.
"You are stellar…
You are… stellar…
…Stellar…."
Heero smiled quietly as he heard Duo's whimsical voice crackle over the speakers. Duo could listen on his radio to music however much he wanted; Heero would still rather hear Duo sing. "Just don't… go away. You can… love me if that's what will keep you by my side." His face became gloomy at this, his eyes more downcast and clouded than usual as he went on whispering to himself. "It's me who should be sorry, Duo. No matter how much you love me, I can't love you back. I can feel nothing. A soldier can feel… nothing…."
Heero… I….
"Nothing…."
Heero… I love you….
—O—
