Part 15
Thank you for all the lovely reviews, and no flames (as yet)! I thought I would get one from everyone of you after that. I'd like to personally thank Goldendragon and Wintercherry for keeping up the wonderful reviews even though they knew what was going to happen.
Messages for everyone then:
Egyptianecho: Thanks for all the emails. :) I can't believe you were shaking! Wow. I hope you get some good ideas for your story, and I hope school is okay. Mine is alright I suppose still as boring as ever tho! :)
Goldendragon- My little kia, luvin your story, I am eagerly awaiting Georgia's next location. Hehe, I hope you have a nice time at Lorz's party. I'm sorry I couldn't be there but it's just too far away. :'(
Wintercherry- Good god girl! Will you just hurry up and post your new story! God, I don't care if it has no plot and its all rubbish- YOU MUST POST IT!!!! And the thing with Paul.he's bound to treat you better than J and Mike so enjoy it my dear. :)
Rachel: Am very glad that you didn't suspect it, I was aiming for that but it's not very easy to pull off. :)
Lady Katanya- LOL! I actually had your review as my MSN screen-name I thought it was sooo cool. You destroyed him! Hehehehehehee- *collapses into a fit of giggles- suddenly realizes that she has actually destroys him- sits up straight- traumatized*. Thank you for that review- love the name by the way.
Lanfear- Ooh you are back. Lovely. Yes I am afraid the men in white coats are here for you my dear. But I do know what you mean, it wasn't right was it? :(
Any road up- onwards.
The letter
The blue eyes glistening with never ending tears slowly ran over the lines of neat handwriting. Words- that's all they were, a few letters strung together to make a sentence. And yet they brought the owner of those eyes unbearable pain, wounds that would never fully heal and scars that would linger forever on his heart.
My dearest Legolas, I'm under our tree writing this, it's cold but I'm not going inside. It's funny, before I began to write I could think of millions of things to tell you, and yet now I have the quill in my hand they all seem insignificant. I am writing this, I suppose, not knowing if you will ever actually come home to read it. That scared me so much when we were together. I used to sit and look at you while you were asleep and worry non-stop that you may never come back. And now you're not here, it feels very empty. Everytime I look at a tree I see you, everytime I close my eyes I see you, if I am concentrating on something and let my mind wander you are never far away. I miss you so much- I thought it would be easy, after the first day I would get used to not having you around, why does nothing ever work out the way you expected? Do you remember when we first met? I was outside- looking at the Ford, and you were looking out of your window at me. I could feel your eyes on me, don't ask me how- but I did. I turned and saw you and you saw me, and that was when it all started- for me anyway. The sleepless nights of dreaming, the quick looks that I was sure you didn't know about, the secret talks with Aragorn inquiring as to who you were. And when we danced, that first time we touched, I just wanted to stay there forever. I am holding the necklace. I take it off a million times a day just to look at it, and only one thing comes into my head when I do, and it is always the same three words.
I love you.
I don't really know when I first realized that I had fallen in love with you, I suppose it was when we first kissed. The fact that I really felt sparks instead of the usual glimmer was a bit of a clue. Then after that I couldn't get you off my mind, I wanted to be with you every minute of the day- and still do. That's one of the reasons why it hurts so much. The pain did lessen though, when our child was born. She's amazing isn't she? She just had that air about her that reminded me of you. Everytime I think of her, I think of you. And that's why it's going to be so hard for me to go and leave you two behind. But you do not belong where I am going; it isn't your time yet. Legolas, I'm so sorry for the pain that I have caused you, but there was no other way. It's not fair for me to keep on going like I am, not fair on me, and especially not fair on you and our child. What kind of life is it for her- if she is destined to watch her mother ill, frail and weak, unable to do anything, having to do everything for her. I will not allow it, and the same for you. I will not place the burden of my life on your shoulders. I have not yet told you what is wrong with me. I hardly know myself. But I have been told that there is something wrong inside of me that will break down all my strength and cause me a lot of pain. I do not yet experience that immense pain, yet I am told I soon will. Apparently the pain will only worsen if I am alive, I will be dying and yet will never die. I will become a shell of who I once was and will not be worth the air with which I breathe. You have to understand this Legolas, if I was to have stayed alive, I would be in an amazing amount of pain every single second of the day, I would not be able to do anything myself. And I know that this sounds incredibly selfish and awful, but I do not want to live like that, I would rather end my life now with the fresh memories of a child and the most amazing elf that has ever existed, than to have them contorted and mutilated by the pain of illness. Do you see? It is right that I should die, I would be a burden to all of you and would cause you so much pain. My life will end here, under this tree, it will be quick and painless and will save a lifetime of grief for you and our baby. I want to be buried under this tree- if Lord Elrond permits it. This place is filled with magic and it reminds me so much of you- here forever I wish to sleep.
I love you Legolas Greenleaf, more than the stars, more than the earth, more than everything. I will love you forever. You told me to wait for you, I will. I'll be there waiting for you, always.
I want you to name our child, I want you to look after her and bring her up. She is a beautiful, wonderful child and she is sure to grow up that way with you as her Daddy.
I will finish this soon, and give it to Arwen to give to you when you return, for now I am sure that you will. This world will not fall into darkness, not now, not ever.
There is only one more thing left to say. If anyone, ever, comes along that captures your heart the way you captured mine, then you must promise me that you will love them. Love them with everything you are and everything you've got. Do not feel guilty, I am now in your past. What's done is done. I am a memory for you to cherish. There is another out there that will love you as I love you, and if your chance comes, then you take it.
With all the love in the world, Fahrwen
*Not end.
Thank you for all the lovely reviews, and no flames (as yet)! I thought I would get one from everyone of you after that. I'd like to personally thank Goldendragon and Wintercherry for keeping up the wonderful reviews even though they knew what was going to happen.
Messages for everyone then:
Egyptianecho: Thanks for all the emails. :) I can't believe you were shaking! Wow. I hope you get some good ideas for your story, and I hope school is okay. Mine is alright I suppose still as boring as ever tho! :)
Goldendragon- My little kia, luvin your story, I am eagerly awaiting Georgia's next location. Hehe, I hope you have a nice time at Lorz's party. I'm sorry I couldn't be there but it's just too far away. :'(
Wintercherry- Good god girl! Will you just hurry up and post your new story! God, I don't care if it has no plot and its all rubbish- YOU MUST POST IT!!!! And the thing with Paul.he's bound to treat you better than J and Mike so enjoy it my dear. :)
Rachel: Am very glad that you didn't suspect it, I was aiming for that but it's not very easy to pull off. :)
Lady Katanya- LOL! I actually had your review as my MSN screen-name I thought it was sooo cool. You destroyed him! Hehehehehehee- *collapses into a fit of giggles- suddenly realizes that she has actually destroys him- sits up straight- traumatized*. Thank you for that review- love the name by the way.
Lanfear- Ooh you are back. Lovely. Yes I am afraid the men in white coats are here for you my dear. But I do know what you mean, it wasn't right was it? :(
Any road up- onwards.
The letter
The blue eyes glistening with never ending tears slowly ran over the lines of neat handwriting. Words- that's all they were, a few letters strung together to make a sentence. And yet they brought the owner of those eyes unbearable pain, wounds that would never fully heal and scars that would linger forever on his heart.
My dearest Legolas, I'm under our tree writing this, it's cold but I'm not going inside. It's funny, before I began to write I could think of millions of things to tell you, and yet now I have the quill in my hand they all seem insignificant. I am writing this, I suppose, not knowing if you will ever actually come home to read it. That scared me so much when we were together. I used to sit and look at you while you were asleep and worry non-stop that you may never come back. And now you're not here, it feels very empty. Everytime I look at a tree I see you, everytime I close my eyes I see you, if I am concentrating on something and let my mind wander you are never far away. I miss you so much- I thought it would be easy, after the first day I would get used to not having you around, why does nothing ever work out the way you expected? Do you remember when we first met? I was outside- looking at the Ford, and you were looking out of your window at me. I could feel your eyes on me, don't ask me how- but I did. I turned and saw you and you saw me, and that was when it all started- for me anyway. The sleepless nights of dreaming, the quick looks that I was sure you didn't know about, the secret talks with Aragorn inquiring as to who you were. And when we danced, that first time we touched, I just wanted to stay there forever. I am holding the necklace. I take it off a million times a day just to look at it, and only one thing comes into my head when I do, and it is always the same three words.
I love you.
I don't really know when I first realized that I had fallen in love with you, I suppose it was when we first kissed. The fact that I really felt sparks instead of the usual glimmer was a bit of a clue. Then after that I couldn't get you off my mind, I wanted to be with you every minute of the day- and still do. That's one of the reasons why it hurts so much. The pain did lessen though, when our child was born. She's amazing isn't she? She just had that air about her that reminded me of you. Everytime I think of her, I think of you. And that's why it's going to be so hard for me to go and leave you two behind. But you do not belong where I am going; it isn't your time yet. Legolas, I'm so sorry for the pain that I have caused you, but there was no other way. It's not fair for me to keep on going like I am, not fair on me, and especially not fair on you and our child. What kind of life is it for her- if she is destined to watch her mother ill, frail and weak, unable to do anything, having to do everything for her. I will not allow it, and the same for you. I will not place the burden of my life on your shoulders. I have not yet told you what is wrong with me. I hardly know myself. But I have been told that there is something wrong inside of me that will break down all my strength and cause me a lot of pain. I do not yet experience that immense pain, yet I am told I soon will. Apparently the pain will only worsen if I am alive, I will be dying and yet will never die. I will become a shell of who I once was and will not be worth the air with which I breathe. You have to understand this Legolas, if I was to have stayed alive, I would be in an amazing amount of pain every single second of the day, I would not be able to do anything myself. And I know that this sounds incredibly selfish and awful, but I do not want to live like that, I would rather end my life now with the fresh memories of a child and the most amazing elf that has ever existed, than to have them contorted and mutilated by the pain of illness. Do you see? It is right that I should die, I would be a burden to all of you and would cause you so much pain. My life will end here, under this tree, it will be quick and painless and will save a lifetime of grief for you and our baby. I want to be buried under this tree- if Lord Elrond permits it. This place is filled with magic and it reminds me so much of you- here forever I wish to sleep.
I love you Legolas Greenleaf, more than the stars, more than the earth, more than everything. I will love you forever. You told me to wait for you, I will. I'll be there waiting for you, always.
I want you to name our child, I want you to look after her and bring her up. She is a beautiful, wonderful child and she is sure to grow up that way with you as her Daddy.
I will finish this soon, and give it to Arwen to give to you when you return, for now I am sure that you will. This world will not fall into darkness, not now, not ever.
There is only one more thing left to say. If anyone, ever, comes along that captures your heart the way you captured mine, then you must promise me that you will love them. Love them with everything you are and everything you've got. Do not feel guilty, I am now in your past. What's done is done. I am a memory for you to cherish. There is another out there that will love you as I love you, and if your chance comes, then you take it.
With all the love in the world, Fahrwen
*Not end.
