Pairings: 1+ME.. (Dream come true.), 2+H
/my thoughts /
Let's Talk
/this is my first attempt at a fanfic.so don't laugh or make any bad comments or.omae o korosu!!! /
This fic is set 1 year after the war and it features me as well coz I have always dreamed of meeting the gundam wing guys and I thought this is probably the closest ill ever get to it. I used my real name to personalize it.but you can put your name in there instead and pretend that you are there instead of me!!!! The guys are all 16 and I'm 15 years old at the beginning but turn 16 at the end!!
________________________________________________________
The year is after colony 196. I now live with the Gundam pilots in one of Quatre's estates, which has become a permanent home for us. I've only been living here for a week though. It sounds a bit surreal to be living with the mighty ex gundam pilots but it's true. I was looking for a place to stay because I had just came to the earth after running away from the orphanage on L2.. no it wasn't Maxwell orphanage and no I didn't know Duo personally before I came here. Anyway I ran away because no one would adopt me, no one wanted to adopt a fifteen-year-old girl. they all wanted the little babies. So I ran away and came to the earth to look for a place to stay.
That's when I met Quatre. I was just walking down the street with a very large suitcase looking lost when he just came up to me and asked if I had a place to stay.
We walked and talked and had a very long conversation.so long that we found ourselves standing outside his mansion in no time, so we went in and here I am.
It took a few days to get settled in and I was surprised at how friendly every one was, even Wufei welcomed me, everyone but Heero. I mean he introduced himself but that was it I never talked to him again ever since. I spend most of my time with either Duo or Quatre because I have the most in common with them. We had fun because none of them had anything else to do now that the war was over.
_____________________________________________________
"Good morning Mary!!" Duo chirped as I walked into the kitchen and started to pour myself some coffee.
"Hmmm.good morning Duo." I replied in what must have been a very tired voice because Duo gave me sympathetic look.
"You should go back to bed, it's really early, I'm only awake because I couldn't sleep" I was just about to tell him that I always wake up this early when he cut me off.
"Actually no you better not. I need to talk to someone and I don't think any of the guys would understand, so is it alright if I talk to you?"
"Sure Duo go ahead, but."
"Great!! But can we go outside the others will be awake soon" Boy when Duo wants to talk he'll talk and he wont let any one else talk either!!
"Sure Duo." He practically dragged me outside and he didn't start talking until he was sure that we were far enough from the house that even if one of the other ex pilots did come outside they wouldn't hear what he had to say.
"Ok we're far enough now, I'm sorry about that it's just that I have to tell someone, but not just anyone."
/what is he talking about? This is really awkward. What should I do? /
" You're probably wondering what this is all about,"
/wow didn't see that one coming!! /
"Well this is really hard to say but I'm going to try. you know when someone gets a crush on someone else and it grows and grows until it's much more than just a crush."
/ Ooooohhh man, I sooooooooo didn't see that one coming/
It was then that I realized that I had a crush on duo and that I had one on him since I first saw him.
" Yeah." was the only reply I could make in my hopeful state.
" Well I think that has happened to me... I'm in Love with."
/ This is it Duo is going to declare his love for me right here and now this is just too perfect!!! /
".Hilde."
/HILDE!!!!!!!! /
"Hilde?" I sounded very confused.
"Yeah you know Hilde, you met her the other day, you know, the girl I used to live with."
"Yes yes I know Hilde, very nice girl!"
I managed to conjure up a smile, which must have been convincing enough because he grinned back.
" So what do I do.I've loved her since I used to live with her, but I don't know what to do!"
" If you loved her why did you move out?"
" Can you keep a secret?"
"Sure,"
" I was afraid that if I stuck around that my feelings for her will become too much to bear and I didn't know if she shared those feelings, I thought if I moved away that I would forget about the feelings and I wouldn't have to think about her as often." He turned around so I wouldn't see the tears that began to gather at the corners of his eyes.
".but I was wrong and now the longer I say away from her the more it hurts."
"Oh Duo.."
Sometime during his story I realized that the feelings I had for him were nothing compared to his feelings for Hilde and my anger at her subsided and instead I felt very sorry for him.
/ Poor Duo/
"Why don't you tell her how you feel? I know this sounds really corny but even if she doesn't share your feelings at least you'll know and you wont have to be afraid anymore,"
"No way!! If she doesn't share my feelings and I tell her I'll never be able to talk to her again!!!.but if you talk to her for me and pretend like I don't know then maybe.no no it wouldn't work forget about it. Thanks for listening to me babble Mary."
"No Duo wait I'll do it. It's the least I can do since you've been so nice to me!!.. I'm sure Hilde will understand."
" Are you sure about this?"
" Yes trust me no woman can resist you!!"
" Thanks I have been working out!!"
He said in a cocky voice, which I think was intended to mock me, but I didn't care, at least I got him to laugh.
We walked back to the mansion silently, Duo with a renewed sense of hope and myself with a sense of determination, now I know how the ex pilots must have felt when they went to battle.
/ Mission accepted/
"Where have you two been?"
Trowa's voice brought me out of my daydream.
" We just went for a morning walk,"
Duo quickly replied looking at me. It was obvious to me that he didn't want the others to know that we were talking or they would want to know what we were talking about and I realized that the reason Duo was so quiet on the way back was because he was thinking of an alibi, but even I could have made it sound more truthful.
Trowa mustn't have bought it either because he grunted and turned back to his cornflakes.
"Good morning Duo.and Mary?" Quatra's high voice broke the silence, he seemed confused but we just nodded our good mornings and left the room.
" So do you want to go now?" Duo finally spoke when we were half way down the hall.
"To Hilde? Ok if you want to. Are you coming with me?"
" I don't know.should I?"
"Of course!!! You have to be there when I tell her or there will be no point!!" I knew that Duo would never agree to this but it was worth a shot, and after 15 minutes of negotiating we finally agreed that he would come with me but stay downstairs and not go up to her apartment until I tell her.
______________________________________________________
"Hilde?" I knocked on her door but there was no answer so I tried the knob, surprisingly it was unlocked and I went inside.
"Hilde?"
Still no answer
/ Am I in the right apartment? /
"Hilde!!!!" I realized I was shouting but I was getting sick of sounding like a broken record.
"Yeah???!!" her reply came from the bathroom "I'll be out in a second" There was a pause, which lasted only a few seconds and the bathroom door swung open.
"Who is it?"
"It's Mary, Duo's friend, I wanted to talk to you about something,"
"Oh hi, sorry about the delay I was just in the shower,"
She finally emerged from the bathroom and I could see why Duo liked her, she had long slender legs and the prettiest face I've ever seen, she really suited Duo they were both very beautiful, but Duo appealed to me more.
"Would you like something to drink? I have coke, apple juice and wine.oh wait scratch that I only have coke and apple juice, I got a bit excited with the wine yesterday" the last bit was said with a slight blush in her cheeks.
"Its ok coke will do. so how is everything?"
"Umm.everything is fine, how is everyone at the Winner estate?"
"Oh they're fine.listen I wanted to talk to you about something"
"What about?"
"Well it's about.Duo,"
"What about him?"
"Do you ever miss him living here?. I mean do you ever wish he hadn't gone?"
"Well I do get lonely sometimes" she gestured to the kitchen counter and I sat down while she rummaged though her fridge getting out two cans of coke then came and sat on the stool next to me and handed me my drink.
"Yeah I suppose I do miss him.. why do you ask?" Now there was a question I didn't know how to answer.
"While he was living here did you ever wish he was more than just a friend?" As soon as I said that I realized it was the wrong thing to say but instead of looking shocked or surprised, Hilde just looked at her can like it had grown eyes and was looking back at her. There was a long awkward silence and after what seemed like hours but was only a few seconds Hilde finally spoke.
"Can you keep a secret?"
/ That sounds familiar! /
"Sure."
/why is everyone trusting me with their secrets today? /
" Duo has always been one of the most important parts of my life and when he moved away he broke my heart, I actually thought he had feelings for me. Do you believe that I actually believed that he considered ME more than just a friend!!"
For the second time today someone turned away from me so I wouldn't see them crying, or attempting not to cry.
"Hilde?"
"What brought all this on anyway?"
"I did." We both turned around surprised only to see Duo standing at the doorway with a big bunch of roses in his hand.
"I'm so sorry Hilde."
That was all that needed to be said.
Hilde sat on the stool and let Duo silently plant a small fragile kiss on her soft pink cheek.
It was all very romantic he handed her the roses and whispered in his most gentle voice
"We have to talk"
I knew that was my cue to leave so I said goodbye to both and left as quietly as I could, though I don't think they would have really cared it I made as much noise as a marching band. I could only imagine what they were talking about.or I could read Duo's diary later tonight, now that sounded like a good idea so I made a mental note of it.
/ I guess Duo finally gathered enough courage to tell her himself.either that or he didn't want to look like a wimp getting me to do it for him either way I'm glad he did it, it means a lot more coming from him/
______________________________________________________
After our visit to Hilde, Duo and I have become much better friends. Maybe it's because I helped him 'get' Hilde and he thinks he owes me something or maybe it's because the whole thing brought us together and we got to know each other more, either way we still spend a lot of time together, that is when he's not out with Hilde. They go out on dates every night and 5 out of 7 days a week either Hilde comes over or Duo goes over her house. But that's not too bad because they always let me hang out with them. Most of the time I don't like to intrude so I just leave them alone.
I take these opportunities to get to know the other ex pilots. I've found that I had a lot more in common with Wufei than I thought and I've become quite fond of him, but not the way that I used to like Duo, he's just become a good friend. I've also discovered that Trowa and Quatre love to watch comedy sit-comes so I introduced them to some old shows called "Everybody loves Raymond" and "Friends" and they became so addicted that they went out and bought all the mini disks of every episode and watch them all day!
Heero on the other hand I have yet to break. He still hasn't said a word to me since the day I arrived besides good morning and goodbye and only when he has to. But I've also noticed that he doesn't talk to anyone else either so I don't take it personally. In fact the only thing he's said to someone that went for more than 4 words was when he told Relena to get lost in a very colourful way that made me laugh so much that I couldn't breathe for half an hour and had to take a few puffs of ventolin (Quatre's asthma puffer, I know I shouldn't be using other people's medication, but what the hey!!!).
------
"Wufei, wanna see my favorite episode of 'Friends'?"
Although Quatre was aware that disturbing Wufei while he's meditating was a bad idea, he noticed that Wufei had been showing a bit of interest in those comedy shows he and Trowa were so obsessed with and he knew that he would agree. And right he was, as soon as Wufei heard this he came strolling into the room like he didn't really care but even I knew that when Wufei stopped meditating before he was finished it was either for something really really important or something he really really wants to do.
"Hmmm. I suppose so since I have nothing else to do.."
Quatre snickered but knew better than to say anything about it.
"Can I join you guys?" I finally asked from the corner.
"It's the least I can do seeing as how you introduced me to it!!"
"Thanks Quatre. you're so sweet I could just eat u up!!"
Quatre blushed slightly but he knew I was teasing him because I do it every day. I mean every word of it though, he is sweet and cute to but he's no Duo.
/ I guess I still have I minor crush on Duo/
But I had to get that thought out of my head because at that moment Hilde and Duo walked into the living room.
"Hi Duo, you wanna join us?.You too Hilde, sit down we're gonna watch 'Friends'!!!"
Quatre's welcome was so enthusiastic it was more than enough for the rest of us so we all just smiled and nodded feeling that if we said something it would be too much.
So there we were, the six of us lounging around in the biggest room of the mansion watching the most hilarious episode of 'Friends' I had ever seen. Quatre and Trowa were lying on their stomachs way too close to the TV, Wufei was sitting cross-legged in his usual place (on the giant arm chair in the corner), and Duo, Hilde and I were sitting in that order on the sofa. We were all laughing our guts out but there was something missing that I just couldn't put my finger on.
Just then Heero walked past the door of the living room on his way from the Kitchen to his room, he peered in but no one noticed, and he had such a sorrowful look on his face as if he really wanted to join us but couldn't. He must have been hoping no one would see him because as soon as he saw that I was looking at him he quickly dropped the expression from his face and turned to leave.
"Heero wait!!" I called out after him but he didn't stop and none of the others seemed to even notice that I called him, and no one said anything when I left the room to peruse him.
" Hey Heero what's up? Why wont you join us?"
He didn't stop but gave his usual reply.
" Hn"
/ Should have seen that one coming/
" Oh come on, everybody likes 'Friends', look even Wufei's joining in!!"
" I don't feel like it"
He never stopped walking and I had to practically run after him. But I soon realized it was no good and just gave up.
" Ok if you say so. See ya round Heero."
Disappointed I turned around and left Heero alone at the doorway of the room that he and Duo shared.
As I made my way back to the living room the hysterical laughter filled my ears and I felt a bit better.
" What's up with him?" I asked Duo at the first chance I got when he finally stopped laughing.
" Who? Heero?"
" Yeah"
"Oh Heero s always like that!" Quatre must have heard us because it was he who replied.
" Yeah that's just who he is, he likes to be left alone" Trowa joined in.
But then something funny happened and they all returned to their hysterical laughter. But I found it hard concentrating on the TV when Heero was sitting all alone in his room.
/ Why would anyone want to be left alone? This doesn't sound right/
I decided to go check on him but my timing couldn't be worse. I chose to get up during the ending credits and everyone noticed.
" Where are you going Mary?" Duo asked in a half laughing voice (it was obvious that he was still recovering from his second laughing fit of the night)
/ If I tell them they'll try to talk me out of it/
" None of your business Duo." I said in what I didn't realize was a mocking voice and he gave me a smug look and laughed.
" Oh I see, lady's business!!" he replied in an even more mocking voice.
/ ppphhhhhheeewwww/
*knock knock*
"Heero.can I come in?"
"Hn"
/ I'll take that as a yes/
I slowly opened the door just incase it was a no. And there was Heero sitting in the window seat looking at the stars.
" Heero what's up? Why don't you want to hang out with us?"
" You won't understand."
That was the biggest response I had ever gotten from Heero so I assumed I was making progress.
" Try me."
" No now go away!!!"
Ok maybe I was wrong about the progress.
" Heero why won't you talk to me?"
There was no response so I tried again. I walked over to him and stood behind him in the dark room looking at the stars.
" Heero please, I'm trying to be your friend and you won't even give me a chance."
" I have my reasons."
/ Finally he responds/
" Well tell me what they are and maybe I can help."
" What makes you think I need your help Mary?"
He finally turned around and I could see the disappointment on his face.
" I don't know I just assumed."
" You shouldn't assume it gets your hopes up for nothing."
" I'm sorry."
" Just leave."
" No Heero I don't think I want to leave I like this room, matter of fact I think I'll just sit on this bed until Duo wants to go to sleep." I walked over to Duo's bed, which was the closest to Heero's current position and flopped down loudly.
" Fine stay, just don't talk!!"
He turned around to face the window again and I just shrugged and lay down on the bed
/ Duo wont mind/
Just then Duo came running through the door.
" Hey guys guess what!!!"
I knew that Heero wouldn't reply so I did
"What?"
"I'm moving back in with Hilde!!. Mary I thought you had Ladies business to attend to?"
/ Damn I forgot that I told him that.busted.what am I worried about it's not like I'm doing anything incriminating!! /
" Yeah I was just checking up on Heero.."
" Oh well, anyway I gotta pack I guess I wont be sleeping here tonight, see ya Heero!!"
I think Heero and I were thinking the same thing because he silently lifted one eyebrow and looked at me. I shrugged and giggled a bit then went back to staring at the ceiling, leaving Duo rummaging through the closet and Heero staring at him then me then back to the window.
/ Guess I will be staying here till late tonight/
Ten minutes later Duo broke the silence of the room with his loud excited voice.
" Well see ya guys.bye Heero.. well aren't you gonna say goodbye."
" Oh bye Duo, good luck"
Duo looked dumbfounded for just a second until I attacked him with the biggest hug I had ever given anyone.
" Wow Mary, watch it!! I'm carrying 30 kg of luggage here."
" Sorry Duo but I'm gonna miss you."
" Why?. I'm gonna be here practically everyday and you're free to come visit any time you want!!!"
" Oh in that case. see ya!!!"
Duo turned around to leave and gave a final smile and wave to his roommate of 11 months. The door clicked shut and I turned to look at Heero.
" So are you gonna talk or should I just hang around here for a while?"
"Hn"
" Thought so. Well if your not going to talk then I will."
" Hn"
" Is that all you can say?"
"Yes now shut up!!!"
" No way I'm making progress here"
" Oh?"
" Yes, don't you think?"
"No not really"
"Well I do!"
There was another long awkward silence then something happened that I never thought I would ever see. Heero smiled. It was a very small smile and it only lasted for a millisecond but it was definitely a smile!!
"Heero?"
"Yes?"
"What were you smiling at?"
"Hn. I wasn't smiling."
He turned back to face the window and for the first time since I met him he talked when he didn't have to.
" So you and Duo have become pretty close, you act a lot alike."
" Ummm, yeah I suppose so, he's a really nice guy. And he talks too, unlike some people.."
The last few words I said under my breath but Heero still heard and turned around. The expression on his face was one I had never seen on anyone in the house before. Heero looked hurt.
" Heero?"
/ Huh?. I was just kidding!!.What did I say that hurt him so much? /
" Mary just shut up and go away!!!"
Wow an angry Heero was as scary as the others had said!!
" Heero I was just joking!!. I didn't mean to offend you!!. I'm sorry!!"
"I know. I'm sorry I yelled at you it's just that."
" What.what's wrong Heero? Please tell me."
"I can't. you won't understand."
" I can try."
He didn't reply. Instead he turned back to the window and stared at the stars again. I walked over to stand behind him once more and we just stayed there for several minutes before he finally spoke.
" The stars look so much more beautiful from Earth than from space... they're so mysterious. But only a few people know the real horror that they represent."
" Yes they are prettier down here than from L2."
I tried to ignore his last comment but he kept coming back to it.
" For me the stars represent destruction and death. nothing more."
" Is this what this is all about?. Heero the war is over!! It has been over for almost a year now!! Let it go."
He turned around once more and did another strange thing. A tear silently fell down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away and turned back to the window.
" I. don't know how."
His voice sounded very fragile as if he was trying very hard to keep the tears in.
/ Duo told me that Heero was the toughest of them all. I didn't think he ever. cried!?/
" What do you mean?. I don't understand Heero. what don't you know?"
" How to let the war go."
He silently got up and walked over to his bed to sit with his back to me and his head in his hands.
" Heero. why?"
There was no answer so I walked over to him and sat beside him.
" Heero please talk to me. I want to help you."
He turned and looked me strait in the eye and said.
" No. I don't need your help. Get out."
The look on his face was strong and I could tell that there was no point it persisting. I was just about to leave when he added something that broke my heart in two.
" I don't need help from a slutty flirt like you!!"
It was my turn to have tears well up in my eyes, but I didn't hold them back and I ran out of the room crying my eyes out.
" I was just trying to help Heero!!!"
The sound of the door slamming brought everyone out of their rooms.
" What's the matter Mary?"
Quatre was always so considerate and I felt really bad for ignoring him and pushing him out of the way so I could get to my room.
" Mary?"
" I don't want to talk about it Quatre."
I ran into my room and slammed the door behind me leaving Quatre standing stunned in the doorway.
That night I cried myself to sleep.
/ He's such a dickhead!!! I was only trying to help!! What do I care what Heero thinks anyway?! It's not like he matters!!/
______________________________________________________
The next morning I got quite a few odd stares from Quatre, Trowa and Wufei, which I expected after the way I yelled and slammed doors yesterday. I thought it was best I apologies for that.
" I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday Quatre, I was just."
" It's alright I understand. Heero can be very inconsiderate of others feelings at times, but he didn't mean it."
" No I think he made it very clear that he didn't want me around." Quatre gave me a sympathetic look and went back to eating his toast. Trowa and Wufei also turned back to their breakfasts.
" Where is Heero anyway?"
Trowa asked the question that was on my mind since the moment I stepped into the room.
" He went out early this morning, said he had something to do, but he didn't say what."
Wufei spoke for the first time today.
" Oh ok then. So should we wait for him?"
Quatre was always so considerate.
" Nah he probably won't come anyway."
" Where are you going?"
I interrupted their conversation. Quatre turned to me and gave one of his oh so innocent smiles.
" That's a surprise. You can't come!!"
/ Oh great they're getting me a present and Heero won't go with them.now I know he hates me/
But then Trowa said something that changed my line of thought.
" Heero hates shopping. You know that Quatre."
" Yeah I just thought he might want to come, he did pool in some money as well."
/ What does this mean?.does Heero like me after all or was he just obliged to do it/
" I don't think he'll mind Quatre. Let's just go or we'll be late meeting up with Duo."
" Fine. See ya later Mary!!"
" Bye guys."
I watched them go out the door and it was only then that the thought struck me.
/ Why are they getting ME a present? My birthday isn't until the fifth of August.which is.../
I went and checked the calendar in the kitchen.
/Today??!!!.Wow today's my birthday. but when did I tell them when my birthday was?. oh that's right I told Quatre last week... oh they're so nice!!.I've been living here for barely a month and they're already buying me presents.../
The house seemed so quiet and empty without anyone else home. This was the first time since I came here that I've been left alone in the house. It was spooky. Stuck in a big house and no one else but me in it. I went to my room, which was the guest room prior to my arrival, so that I wouldn't feel so odd. Being the only girl in the house, I was given a room all to myself and I was used to being by my self there.
I closed the door behind me and I felt better strait away. But then there was the problem of boredom. It was very boring in my room. All I had was an ancient music player called a CD player and a few CDs and a few books. So I put on a CD by an old artist called Ricky Martin. It was very loud and fast and I soon began to enjoy it. I chose a book, which I didn't really feel like reading and sat on my bed. But the book got too boring and I soon gave up and turned the music up louder. I was about to fall asleep when there was a knock on my bedroom door. Startled, I quickly sat up in my bed and stared at the door. The knock came again and this time it didn't stop until I turned the music down ad yelled at whoever it was.
"Who is it!!!.what do you want.STOP THAT!!!"
" It's Heero. can I come in?"
" Yeah sure come in Heero."
" Thanks."
The door slowly opened and Heero stepped in carrying a large bunch of flowers and a card.
" Heero?. what's that for?"
He handed me the flowers and stepped back. He turned to head for the door and said plainly.
" Read the card."
As I opened the card I heard the door click shut, I looked up and Heero was gone. I was almost too afraid to read the card. The way Heero was yelling at me yesterday, I almost expected the card to explode when I opened it, and from the stories Trowa told me about him during the war times, that was quite possible.
But I knew better than that and I opened it anyway. What was written there brought tears to my eyes.
'Gomen, Heero'
/ Sorry? Heero was apologizing? /
"Heero?"
But I remembered that he left and I ran after him.
He must have run too because it only took me a second to read the card and he was already in his room. But I didn't bother thinking about that. I had more important things to do.
*Knock knock*
There was no answer, not even the usual 'hn', nothing at all. So I knocked again a little louder.
*Knock knock*
"Heero?.can I come in?"
"Hn"
/ At least he was as articulate as ever/
I slowly opened the door as I did last night. And just like last night I found him in his window seat looking out the window, but this time he was looking at the fluffy white clouds in the bright blue sky.
"Heero?"
"Hn"
"Heero, I'm sorry too."
"For what?"
He turned around and looked genuinely confused.
"For insisting that you talk to me when you didn't really want to. I always do that. It's probably why I've never really had any good friends until I came to live here. Sorry."
He turned back to the window.
"I've never had any friends at all."
"Yes you have. What about Duo and Quatra and Trowa and Wufei.they're your friends. and so am I. if you'll let me be."
"I don't need friends."
"Oh ok then. Well I guess I'll just go back to my room now. bye Heero."
/ Great!!. how could I let him do that to me again!!!???. that's the second time in two days that Heero has hurt me like this. I guess I expected too much of him/
" Mary wait."
I quickly froze in my position by the doorway.
"Yes?"
"I do want to talk to you."
/ Wow, that was a change of heart/
I turned around to face him and he gestured for me to sit on the bed.
" I've just never done that before."
"I understand Heero."
"Hn"
I sat on the bed and he stood up and walked over to me and stood right in front of me.
"Well aren't you going to sit down?"
"I don't know, I've never talked to anyone before, I thought you were suppose to sit face to face."
I couldn't help laughing, but it was a bad idea because he turned around and started to walk towards the window.
"Heero, Heero wait I was just. casual talk is done in a casual manner. I'm not interviewing you. Just relax."
"I've never done this before."
"I know. And stop acting like we're about to do something much more than just talk!!"
Another bad idea. Heero blushed violently and turned to the window again.
"Heero come back. I'm sorry. Let's talk."
"Ok. so I sit next to you?"
"Yes"
He walked over and say down rigidly.
"Heero relax."
"Sorry."
"And stop apologizing."
"Sorry."
"Heero!!!"
"Hn"
"Look this isn't going to work unless you relax."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
He turned to look at me and I could now see the blush on his cheeks.
"Heero?"
"I'm sorry, I've never done this before."
"You already said that."
"Gomen."
"Hmmm, ok I'll start."
"That's a good idea."
" So why don't you ever join us when we watch TV or anything?"
"Because that's just who I am. I like to be alone."
"No you don't. You wanted to join us yesterday. I could tell."
He turned away but didn't reply.
"Heero why?"
"I'm not welcome."
"Sure you are."
"No I'm not. No one wants me around."
"Believe me you are."
"Hn"
"Heero why don't you believe me. We all like you."
"It's not that you don't like me. It's just no one wants a heartless rock around."
"You're not heartless, if you were heartless you wouldn't have bought me those flowers."
He turned back to me with a slightly more hopeful expression on his face.
"Did you like them?"
"Uhuh they were beautiful."
His face fell.
"I didn't choose them. The woman at the shop said they were the best for apologies."
"I don't mind. It was your idea in the first place."
His face fell further.
" No it was Duo's. I called him last night."
" Heero, I don't care who's idea it was, they were from you and that's all that matters."
" Arigato."
" So where were we?"
"Maybe this was a bad idea."
" If you say so. I'm going now. Thanks for the flowers."
I got up expecting him to call me back but he didn't. I turned when I got to the door and waved goodbye. He didn't see me because he was once again looking out the window so I just shrugged and left the room. Had I stayed only a second more I would have heard him whisper. 'Come back'.
________________________________________________________
It was only when I arrived back in my room that I realized just how much I had learned about Heero in the two minutes that we talked. I learned what he thought people thought about him. And it wasn't good, nor was it true. I had to find out more. But I can't, he doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe I could just hang around with him and see what I could learn from him through his actions.
/ What the hell am I doing? Heero is not some animal that I'm researching and documenting. And why am I so eager to learn about him anyway? Hmmmm. this is very frustrating/
*Knock knock*
The knocking on my door brought me out of my thoughts.
"Come in."
/Heero? Who else could it be? Everyone else is out! /
The door opened slowly and Heero poked his head in.
" Can I come in?"
"That's what I said."
I gave him what I hoped was a sweet smile and he strode into the room.
"I want to talk."
"OK. so talk."
"But I don't know what to say."
"How about we start with something easy like. Duo."
" What about Duo?"
"I don't know.he just seems to be the only thing we have in common. that we can both talk about."
"Oh."
"Ok I have an idea. I'll say something about him.anything as long as it evolves him and then you'll say something about him.ok?"
"But I don't know much about him."
"Sure you do you've been his roommate for over eleven months. Ok I'll start."
He walked over from where he was standing by the door and sat next to me on the bed. But this time he was sitting relaxed.
/ Finally!!! /
" Hmmm. let me think. oh I know. Duo is ticklish .very very ticklish!!!"
At this Heero turned to me and gave me a very accusing look.
"And how do you know that?"
It was the first time I ever heard Heero make a joke!!!! I didn't want to tell him a story now because it was his turn to talk, so I wiggled my eyebrows and he got the drift that I was joking.
"Ok your turn."
"Hmmm. Duo. snores. very loudly."
I giggled a bit but Heero gave no reaction.
"Ok my turn. but I don't know anything that you don't know about him."
I wasn't lying, but it wasn't because I didn't know Duo very well, it was because he was so out going and never keeps anything a secret.
"Oh wait there is something."
/ I can trust Heero with this. I know I can/
"A couple of weeks ago, before he started going out with Hilde, I had a crush on him."
Heero turned to me and raised one eyebrow.
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
"Well do you have a crush on anyone else right now?"
I have no idea why, but I blushed violently.
/ Is he asking if I have a crush on him? /
I had to tell him the truth.
"No Heero we're just friends."
"You know what?. that means so much more to me than if you did have a crush on me."
"Huh?. what do you mean?"
"I've never had any friends, only allies. During the war I couldn't afford to have friends. Having friends makes you weak. So I didn't think of my allies as friends so it wouldn't be hard to let them go."
/ Wow what a breakthrough. Heero is actually pouring his heart out to me!!/
" What about after the war?"
He tuned away but didn't stop talking.
"Now I don't know how to make friends. I've never had friends and I don't know how to make them."
"Didn't you have any friends as a child?"
"No. From when I was just an infant, I was trained to be the perfect soldier. It came in handy during the war because it meant that I was stronger and fearser than the others who had only been training for a couple of years. But after the war, they could all go back to how they were and be normal once again,"
He gave a slight chuckle but not out of humor and continued.
"Or as normal as they could become. But I. I've always been like this I don't know how to be normal. And even though I wish I could consider them my friends, unless they make the first move and persist like you did, I don't think I could let them be."
"Haven't they tried to be you're friend?"
"They have, but when I turned them away the first few times they gave up."
"Heero you have to show them that you want to be friends. You live with them for god's sake!!!"
"I can't, I don't know how."
"Growing up in an orphanage, I didn't have all that many friends either, matter of fact you're the first friend that I've ever spoken heart to heart to, but I think that I can help you."
He swung around with new eagerness and our eyes met. Neither of us was willing to break the contact, there was something stopping us.
"Arigato."
He finally spoke accepting my offer.
My heart missed a beat.
/What was it about this boy that made me so emotional? I've never cared what anyone else thought before, but he's different. What does that mean? /
I broke the contact for just a second to look at the time, it was 4 o'clock, it was 3 hours since Heero gave me the flowers.
I felt something warm on my hand. I wanted to see what it was but I didn't want to break the eye contact again. Heero reached out a hand and cupped my cheek and I realized that the warmth on the back of my hand was his palm.
/ What's happening? Do I have a crush on Heero?. no this is much more than what I felt for Duo. and all this time I thought it was friendship. I lo.."
But Heero broke the silence and what he said blew my mind.
"Mary, I think I love you."
/Wow where did that come from!?!?!... not that I mind... is that what I've been feeling for him... what should I say./
"I think I love you too Heero."
"So what do we do now?"
And as if he suddenly knew the answer to his own question he drew his face close to mine and I felt my eyes flutter shut as his soft warm lips met mine. It was the most emotional thing that ever happened to me. I felt my whole body overcome with a numbing chill then overwhelming warmth. The kiss lasted only a minute when there was a knock on the front door of the house. We drew apart at the same time, and had the same disappointed look on our faces.
/ My first kiss was way better than I had ever imagined. /
"That would be Duo and the others, they always forget their keys."
I nodded and stood up preparing to go answer the door but Heero grabbed my arm and turned me around.
"Do we tell them now?"
"Tell them what Heero?"
He gave me a look that was half disappointed and half sarcastic.
"You know what I'm talking about."
I gave him an evil smirk and decided to show him that I knew.
"Oh you mean this?"
And I pulled him in for another long passionate kiss. It lasted a few short moments when he drew away and smiled.
"Yes that."
"I say we let them work it out themselves."
The knocking on the door got louder and more inpatient.
"We better get that."
"Yeah, come on."
"Wait for me Heero."
I grabbed his hand and we went to answer the door.
-----
"Come on Mary open the damn door these bags are heavy!!!"
"Duo you're so inpatient!!! We're coming."
I opened the door just as Duo realized what I had said.
"We?"
But when the door was fully open he understood.
"Heero?. and Mary?.Since when?"
"About 10 minutes ago."
"Ten minutes ago what?"
Quatre was the last to enter the house and had not yet seen what the others were all staring at. Me and Heero standing in front of them with our fingers laced together. But then he looked up and gasped.
"Oh I see."
He was too shocked to say anything else.
"Well I guess you've had a pretty good birthday,"
"Yeah, I got a really good present."
I looked at Heero and he looked back at me and we just stared at each other until Duo shoved a parcel under my nose and said,
"Well here's another present, from all of us."
"Thank you Duo, Thanks Trowa, Wufei, Quatre? Quatre what's up?"
Quatre had silently walked over to the kitchen table and had his head in his hands. He appeared to be crying.
"Quatre?"
Everyone said unanimously. But when he looked up at us he wasn't crying, he was laughing. A happy, cheerful laugh.
"I was right all along, you and Heero make the perfect couple."
"What are you talking about Quatre you never said anything about them being together, you're just trying to take all the credit for the perfect match!!!"
Trowa, who was standing by the front door but had moved to the kitchen with Quatre, decided not to let him get away with getting any credit for the pairing this time, it was enough that he stole some from me last time with Duo and Hilde.
Every one broke out in a hysterical laugh when Quatre stuck out his tongue at Trowa.
Everyone but Heero. I stopped laughing and looked at him, he placed his arm gently around my waist and for, what I'm guessing is the first time in his life, Heero Yuy laughed out loud, and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled contently.
/ This is the best birthday ever/
OWARI
What did you think?!?! Any good? RR please!!!
/my thoughts /
Let's Talk
/this is my first attempt at a fanfic.so don't laugh or make any bad comments or.omae o korosu!!! /
This fic is set 1 year after the war and it features me as well coz I have always dreamed of meeting the gundam wing guys and I thought this is probably the closest ill ever get to it. I used my real name to personalize it.but you can put your name in there instead and pretend that you are there instead of me!!!! The guys are all 16 and I'm 15 years old at the beginning but turn 16 at the end!!
________________________________________________________
The year is after colony 196. I now live with the Gundam pilots in one of Quatre's estates, which has become a permanent home for us. I've only been living here for a week though. It sounds a bit surreal to be living with the mighty ex gundam pilots but it's true. I was looking for a place to stay because I had just came to the earth after running away from the orphanage on L2.. no it wasn't Maxwell orphanage and no I didn't know Duo personally before I came here. Anyway I ran away because no one would adopt me, no one wanted to adopt a fifteen-year-old girl. they all wanted the little babies. So I ran away and came to the earth to look for a place to stay.
That's when I met Quatre. I was just walking down the street with a very large suitcase looking lost when he just came up to me and asked if I had a place to stay.
We walked and talked and had a very long conversation.so long that we found ourselves standing outside his mansion in no time, so we went in and here I am.
It took a few days to get settled in and I was surprised at how friendly every one was, even Wufei welcomed me, everyone but Heero. I mean he introduced himself but that was it I never talked to him again ever since. I spend most of my time with either Duo or Quatre because I have the most in common with them. We had fun because none of them had anything else to do now that the war was over.
_____________________________________________________
"Good morning Mary!!" Duo chirped as I walked into the kitchen and started to pour myself some coffee.
"Hmmm.good morning Duo." I replied in what must have been a very tired voice because Duo gave me sympathetic look.
"You should go back to bed, it's really early, I'm only awake because I couldn't sleep" I was just about to tell him that I always wake up this early when he cut me off.
"Actually no you better not. I need to talk to someone and I don't think any of the guys would understand, so is it alright if I talk to you?"
"Sure Duo go ahead, but."
"Great!! But can we go outside the others will be awake soon" Boy when Duo wants to talk he'll talk and he wont let any one else talk either!!
"Sure Duo." He practically dragged me outside and he didn't start talking until he was sure that we were far enough from the house that even if one of the other ex pilots did come outside they wouldn't hear what he had to say.
"Ok we're far enough now, I'm sorry about that it's just that I have to tell someone, but not just anyone."
/what is he talking about? This is really awkward. What should I do? /
" You're probably wondering what this is all about,"
/wow didn't see that one coming!! /
"Well this is really hard to say but I'm going to try. you know when someone gets a crush on someone else and it grows and grows until it's much more than just a crush."
/ Ooooohhh man, I sooooooooo didn't see that one coming/
It was then that I realized that I had a crush on duo and that I had one on him since I first saw him.
" Yeah." was the only reply I could make in my hopeful state.
" Well I think that has happened to me... I'm in Love with."
/ This is it Duo is going to declare his love for me right here and now this is just too perfect!!! /
".Hilde."
/HILDE!!!!!!!! /
"Hilde?" I sounded very confused.
"Yeah you know Hilde, you met her the other day, you know, the girl I used to live with."
"Yes yes I know Hilde, very nice girl!"
I managed to conjure up a smile, which must have been convincing enough because he grinned back.
" So what do I do.I've loved her since I used to live with her, but I don't know what to do!"
" If you loved her why did you move out?"
" Can you keep a secret?"
"Sure,"
" I was afraid that if I stuck around that my feelings for her will become too much to bear and I didn't know if she shared those feelings, I thought if I moved away that I would forget about the feelings and I wouldn't have to think about her as often." He turned around so I wouldn't see the tears that began to gather at the corners of his eyes.
".but I was wrong and now the longer I say away from her the more it hurts."
"Oh Duo.."
Sometime during his story I realized that the feelings I had for him were nothing compared to his feelings for Hilde and my anger at her subsided and instead I felt very sorry for him.
/ Poor Duo/
"Why don't you tell her how you feel? I know this sounds really corny but even if she doesn't share your feelings at least you'll know and you wont have to be afraid anymore,"
"No way!! If she doesn't share my feelings and I tell her I'll never be able to talk to her again!!!.but if you talk to her for me and pretend like I don't know then maybe.no no it wouldn't work forget about it. Thanks for listening to me babble Mary."
"No Duo wait I'll do it. It's the least I can do since you've been so nice to me!!.. I'm sure Hilde will understand."
" Are you sure about this?"
" Yes trust me no woman can resist you!!"
" Thanks I have been working out!!"
He said in a cocky voice, which I think was intended to mock me, but I didn't care, at least I got him to laugh.
We walked back to the mansion silently, Duo with a renewed sense of hope and myself with a sense of determination, now I know how the ex pilots must have felt when they went to battle.
/ Mission accepted/
"Where have you two been?"
Trowa's voice brought me out of my daydream.
" We just went for a morning walk,"
Duo quickly replied looking at me. It was obvious to me that he didn't want the others to know that we were talking or they would want to know what we were talking about and I realized that the reason Duo was so quiet on the way back was because he was thinking of an alibi, but even I could have made it sound more truthful.
Trowa mustn't have bought it either because he grunted and turned back to his cornflakes.
"Good morning Duo.and Mary?" Quatra's high voice broke the silence, he seemed confused but we just nodded our good mornings and left the room.
" So do you want to go now?" Duo finally spoke when we were half way down the hall.
"To Hilde? Ok if you want to. Are you coming with me?"
" I don't know.should I?"
"Of course!!! You have to be there when I tell her or there will be no point!!" I knew that Duo would never agree to this but it was worth a shot, and after 15 minutes of negotiating we finally agreed that he would come with me but stay downstairs and not go up to her apartment until I tell her.
______________________________________________________
"Hilde?" I knocked on her door but there was no answer so I tried the knob, surprisingly it was unlocked and I went inside.
"Hilde?"
Still no answer
/ Am I in the right apartment? /
"Hilde!!!!" I realized I was shouting but I was getting sick of sounding like a broken record.
"Yeah???!!" her reply came from the bathroom "I'll be out in a second" There was a pause, which lasted only a few seconds and the bathroom door swung open.
"Who is it?"
"It's Mary, Duo's friend, I wanted to talk to you about something,"
"Oh hi, sorry about the delay I was just in the shower,"
She finally emerged from the bathroom and I could see why Duo liked her, she had long slender legs and the prettiest face I've ever seen, she really suited Duo they were both very beautiful, but Duo appealed to me more.
"Would you like something to drink? I have coke, apple juice and wine.oh wait scratch that I only have coke and apple juice, I got a bit excited with the wine yesterday" the last bit was said with a slight blush in her cheeks.
"Its ok coke will do. so how is everything?"
"Umm.everything is fine, how is everyone at the Winner estate?"
"Oh they're fine.listen I wanted to talk to you about something"
"What about?"
"Well it's about.Duo,"
"What about him?"
"Do you ever miss him living here?. I mean do you ever wish he hadn't gone?"
"Well I do get lonely sometimes" she gestured to the kitchen counter and I sat down while she rummaged though her fridge getting out two cans of coke then came and sat on the stool next to me and handed me my drink.
"Yeah I suppose I do miss him.. why do you ask?" Now there was a question I didn't know how to answer.
"While he was living here did you ever wish he was more than just a friend?" As soon as I said that I realized it was the wrong thing to say but instead of looking shocked or surprised, Hilde just looked at her can like it had grown eyes and was looking back at her. There was a long awkward silence and after what seemed like hours but was only a few seconds Hilde finally spoke.
"Can you keep a secret?"
/ That sounds familiar! /
"Sure."
/why is everyone trusting me with their secrets today? /
" Duo has always been one of the most important parts of my life and when he moved away he broke my heart, I actually thought he had feelings for me. Do you believe that I actually believed that he considered ME more than just a friend!!"
For the second time today someone turned away from me so I wouldn't see them crying, or attempting not to cry.
"Hilde?"
"What brought all this on anyway?"
"I did." We both turned around surprised only to see Duo standing at the doorway with a big bunch of roses in his hand.
"I'm so sorry Hilde."
That was all that needed to be said.
Hilde sat on the stool and let Duo silently plant a small fragile kiss on her soft pink cheek.
It was all very romantic he handed her the roses and whispered in his most gentle voice
"We have to talk"
I knew that was my cue to leave so I said goodbye to both and left as quietly as I could, though I don't think they would have really cared it I made as much noise as a marching band. I could only imagine what they were talking about.or I could read Duo's diary later tonight, now that sounded like a good idea so I made a mental note of it.
/ I guess Duo finally gathered enough courage to tell her himself.either that or he didn't want to look like a wimp getting me to do it for him either way I'm glad he did it, it means a lot more coming from him/
______________________________________________________
After our visit to Hilde, Duo and I have become much better friends. Maybe it's because I helped him 'get' Hilde and he thinks he owes me something or maybe it's because the whole thing brought us together and we got to know each other more, either way we still spend a lot of time together, that is when he's not out with Hilde. They go out on dates every night and 5 out of 7 days a week either Hilde comes over or Duo goes over her house. But that's not too bad because they always let me hang out with them. Most of the time I don't like to intrude so I just leave them alone.
I take these opportunities to get to know the other ex pilots. I've found that I had a lot more in common with Wufei than I thought and I've become quite fond of him, but not the way that I used to like Duo, he's just become a good friend. I've also discovered that Trowa and Quatre love to watch comedy sit-comes so I introduced them to some old shows called "Everybody loves Raymond" and "Friends" and they became so addicted that they went out and bought all the mini disks of every episode and watch them all day!
Heero on the other hand I have yet to break. He still hasn't said a word to me since the day I arrived besides good morning and goodbye and only when he has to. But I've also noticed that he doesn't talk to anyone else either so I don't take it personally. In fact the only thing he's said to someone that went for more than 4 words was when he told Relena to get lost in a very colourful way that made me laugh so much that I couldn't breathe for half an hour and had to take a few puffs of ventolin (Quatre's asthma puffer, I know I shouldn't be using other people's medication, but what the hey!!!).
------
"Wufei, wanna see my favorite episode of 'Friends'?"
Although Quatre was aware that disturbing Wufei while he's meditating was a bad idea, he noticed that Wufei had been showing a bit of interest in those comedy shows he and Trowa were so obsessed with and he knew that he would agree. And right he was, as soon as Wufei heard this he came strolling into the room like he didn't really care but even I knew that when Wufei stopped meditating before he was finished it was either for something really really important or something he really really wants to do.
"Hmmm. I suppose so since I have nothing else to do.."
Quatre snickered but knew better than to say anything about it.
"Can I join you guys?" I finally asked from the corner.
"It's the least I can do seeing as how you introduced me to it!!"
"Thanks Quatre. you're so sweet I could just eat u up!!"
Quatre blushed slightly but he knew I was teasing him because I do it every day. I mean every word of it though, he is sweet and cute to but he's no Duo.
/ I guess I still have I minor crush on Duo/
But I had to get that thought out of my head because at that moment Hilde and Duo walked into the living room.
"Hi Duo, you wanna join us?.You too Hilde, sit down we're gonna watch 'Friends'!!!"
Quatre's welcome was so enthusiastic it was more than enough for the rest of us so we all just smiled and nodded feeling that if we said something it would be too much.
So there we were, the six of us lounging around in the biggest room of the mansion watching the most hilarious episode of 'Friends' I had ever seen. Quatre and Trowa were lying on their stomachs way too close to the TV, Wufei was sitting cross-legged in his usual place (on the giant arm chair in the corner), and Duo, Hilde and I were sitting in that order on the sofa. We were all laughing our guts out but there was something missing that I just couldn't put my finger on.
Just then Heero walked past the door of the living room on his way from the Kitchen to his room, he peered in but no one noticed, and he had such a sorrowful look on his face as if he really wanted to join us but couldn't. He must have been hoping no one would see him because as soon as he saw that I was looking at him he quickly dropped the expression from his face and turned to leave.
"Heero wait!!" I called out after him but he didn't stop and none of the others seemed to even notice that I called him, and no one said anything when I left the room to peruse him.
" Hey Heero what's up? Why wont you join us?"
He didn't stop but gave his usual reply.
" Hn"
/ Should have seen that one coming/
" Oh come on, everybody likes 'Friends', look even Wufei's joining in!!"
" I don't feel like it"
He never stopped walking and I had to practically run after him. But I soon realized it was no good and just gave up.
" Ok if you say so. See ya round Heero."
Disappointed I turned around and left Heero alone at the doorway of the room that he and Duo shared.
As I made my way back to the living room the hysterical laughter filled my ears and I felt a bit better.
" What's up with him?" I asked Duo at the first chance I got when he finally stopped laughing.
" Who? Heero?"
" Yeah"
"Oh Heero s always like that!" Quatre must have heard us because it was he who replied.
" Yeah that's just who he is, he likes to be left alone" Trowa joined in.
But then something funny happened and they all returned to their hysterical laughter. But I found it hard concentrating on the TV when Heero was sitting all alone in his room.
/ Why would anyone want to be left alone? This doesn't sound right/
I decided to go check on him but my timing couldn't be worse. I chose to get up during the ending credits and everyone noticed.
" Where are you going Mary?" Duo asked in a half laughing voice (it was obvious that he was still recovering from his second laughing fit of the night)
/ If I tell them they'll try to talk me out of it/
" None of your business Duo." I said in what I didn't realize was a mocking voice and he gave me a smug look and laughed.
" Oh I see, lady's business!!" he replied in an even more mocking voice.
/ ppphhhhhheeewwww/
*knock knock*
"Heero.can I come in?"
"Hn"
/ I'll take that as a yes/
I slowly opened the door just incase it was a no. And there was Heero sitting in the window seat looking at the stars.
" Heero what's up? Why don't you want to hang out with us?"
" You won't understand."
That was the biggest response I had ever gotten from Heero so I assumed I was making progress.
" Try me."
" No now go away!!!"
Ok maybe I was wrong about the progress.
" Heero why won't you talk to me?"
There was no response so I tried again. I walked over to him and stood behind him in the dark room looking at the stars.
" Heero please, I'm trying to be your friend and you won't even give me a chance."
" I have my reasons."
/ Finally he responds/
" Well tell me what they are and maybe I can help."
" What makes you think I need your help Mary?"
He finally turned around and I could see the disappointment on his face.
" I don't know I just assumed."
" You shouldn't assume it gets your hopes up for nothing."
" I'm sorry."
" Just leave."
" No Heero I don't think I want to leave I like this room, matter of fact I think I'll just sit on this bed until Duo wants to go to sleep." I walked over to Duo's bed, which was the closest to Heero's current position and flopped down loudly.
" Fine stay, just don't talk!!"
He turned around to face the window again and I just shrugged and lay down on the bed
/ Duo wont mind/
Just then Duo came running through the door.
" Hey guys guess what!!!"
I knew that Heero wouldn't reply so I did
"What?"
"I'm moving back in with Hilde!!. Mary I thought you had Ladies business to attend to?"
/ Damn I forgot that I told him that.busted.what am I worried about it's not like I'm doing anything incriminating!! /
" Yeah I was just checking up on Heero.."
" Oh well, anyway I gotta pack I guess I wont be sleeping here tonight, see ya Heero!!"
I think Heero and I were thinking the same thing because he silently lifted one eyebrow and looked at me. I shrugged and giggled a bit then went back to staring at the ceiling, leaving Duo rummaging through the closet and Heero staring at him then me then back to the window.
/ Guess I will be staying here till late tonight/
Ten minutes later Duo broke the silence of the room with his loud excited voice.
" Well see ya guys.bye Heero.. well aren't you gonna say goodbye."
" Oh bye Duo, good luck"
Duo looked dumbfounded for just a second until I attacked him with the biggest hug I had ever given anyone.
" Wow Mary, watch it!! I'm carrying 30 kg of luggage here."
" Sorry Duo but I'm gonna miss you."
" Why?. I'm gonna be here practically everyday and you're free to come visit any time you want!!!"
" Oh in that case. see ya!!!"
Duo turned around to leave and gave a final smile and wave to his roommate of 11 months. The door clicked shut and I turned to look at Heero.
" So are you gonna talk or should I just hang around here for a while?"
"Hn"
" Thought so. Well if your not going to talk then I will."
" Hn"
" Is that all you can say?"
"Yes now shut up!!!"
" No way I'm making progress here"
" Oh?"
" Yes, don't you think?"
"No not really"
"Well I do!"
There was another long awkward silence then something happened that I never thought I would ever see. Heero smiled. It was a very small smile and it only lasted for a millisecond but it was definitely a smile!!
"Heero?"
"Yes?"
"What were you smiling at?"
"Hn. I wasn't smiling."
He turned back to face the window and for the first time since I met him he talked when he didn't have to.
" So you and Duo have become pretty close, you act a lot alike."
" Ummm, yeah I suppose so, he's a really nice guy. And he talks too, unlike some people.."
The last few words I said under my breath but Heero still heard and turned around. The expression on his face was one I had never seen on anyone in the house before. Heero looked hurt.
" Heero?"
/ Huh?. I was just kidding!!.What did I say that hurt him so much? /
" Mary just shut up and go away!!!"
Wow an angry Heero was as scary as the others had said!!
" Heero I was just joking!!. I didn't mean to offend you!!. I'm sorry!!"
"I know. I'm sorry I yelled at you it's just that."
" What.what's wrong Heero? Please tell me."
"I can't. you won't understand."
" I can try."
He didn't reply. Instead he turned back to the window and stared at the stars again. I walked over to stand behind him once more and we just stayed there for several minutes before he finally spoke.
" The stars look so much more beautiful from Earth than from space... they're so mysterious. But only a few people know the real horror that they represent."
" Yes they are prettier down here than from L2."
I tried to ignore his last comment but he kept coming back to it.
" For me the stars represent destruction and death. nothing more."
" Is this what this is all about?. Heero the war is over!! It has been over for almost a year now!! Let it go."
He turned around once more and did another strange thing. A tear silently fell down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away and turned back to the window.
" I. don't know how."
His voice sounded very fragile as if he was trying very hard to keep the tears in.
/ Duo told me that Heero was the toughest of them all. I didn't think he ever. cried!?/
" What do you mean?. I don't understand Heero. what don't you know?"
" How to let the war go."
He silently got up and walked over to his bed to sit with his back to me and his head in his hands.
" Heero. why?"
There was no answer so I walked over to him and sat beside him.
" Heero please talk to me. I want to help you."
He turned and looked me strait in the eye and said.
" No. I don't need your help. Get out."
The look on his face was strong and I could tell that there was no point it persisting. I was just about to leave when he added something that broke my heart in two.
" I don't need help from a slutty flirt like you!!"
It was my turn to have tears well up in my eyes, but I didn't hold them back and I ran out of the room crying my eyes out.
" I was just trying to help Heero!!!"
The sound of the door slamming brought everyone out of their rooms.
" What's the matter Mary?"
Quatre was always so considerate and I felt really bad for ignoring him and pushing him out of the way so I could get to my room.
" Mary?"
" I don't want to talk about it Quatre."
I ran into my room and slammed the door behind me leaving Quatre standing stunned in the doorway.
That night I cried myself to sleep.
/ He's such a dickhead!!! I was only trying to help!! What do I care what Heero thinks anyway?! It's not like he matters!!/
______________________________________________________
The next morning I got quite a few odd stares from Quatre, Trowa and Wufei, which I expected after the way I yelled and slammed doors yesterday. I thought it was best I apologies for that.
" I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday Quatre, I was just."
" It's alright I understand. Heero can be very inconsiderate of others feelings at times, but he didn't mean it."
" No I think he made it very clear that he didn't want me around." Quatre gave me a sympathetic look and went back to eating his toast. Trowa and Wufei also turned back to their breakfasts.
" Where is Heero anyway?"
Trowa asked the question that was on my mind since the moment I stepped into the room.
" He went out early this morning, said he had something to do, but he didn't say what."
Wufei spoke for the first time today.
" Oh ok then. So should we wait for him?"
Quatre was always so considerate.
" Nah he probably won't come anyway."
" Where are you going?"
I interrupted their conversation. Quatre turned to me and gave one of his oh so innocent smiles.
" That's a surprise. You can't come!!"
/ Oh great they're getting me a present and Heero won't go with them.now I know he hates me/
But then Trowa said something that changed my line of thought.
" Heero hates shopping. You know that Quatre."
" Yeah I just thought he might want to come, he did pool in some money as well."
/ What does this mean?.does Heero like me after all or was he just obliged to do it/
" I don't think he'll mind Quatre. Let's just go or we'll be late meeting up with Duo."
" Fine. See ya later Mary!!"
" Bye guys."
I watched them go out the door and it was only then that the thought struck me.
/ Why are they getting ME a present? My birthday isn't until the fifth of August.which is.../
I went and checked the calendar in the kitchen.
/Today??!!!.Wow today's my birthday. but when did I tell them when my birthday was?. oh that's right I told Quatre last week... oh they're so nice!!.I've been living here for barely a month and they're already buying me presents.../
The house seemed so quiet and empty without anyone else home. This was the first time since I came here that I've been left alone in the house. It was spooky. Stuck in a big house and no one else but me in it. I went to my room, which was the guest room prior to my arrival, so that I wouldn't feel so odd. Being the only girl in the house, I was given a room all to myself and I was used to being by my self there.
I closed the door behind me and I felt better strait away. But then there was the problem of boredom. It was very boring in my room. All I had was an ancient music player called a CD player and a few CDs and a few books. So I put on a CD by an old artist called Ricky Martin. It was very loud and fast and I soon began to enjoy it. I chose a book, which I didn't really feel like reading and sat on my bed. But the book got too boring and I soon gave up and turned the music up louder. I was about to fall asleep when there was a knock on my bedroom door. Startled, I quickly sat up in my bed and stared at the door. The knock came again and this time it didn't stop until I turned the music down ad yelled at whoever it was.
"Who is it!!!.what do you want.STOP THAT!!!"
" It's Heero. can I come in?"
" Yeah sure come in Heero."
" Thanks."
The door slowly opened and Heero stepped in carrying a large bunch of flowers and a card.
" Heero?. what's that for?"
He handed me the flowers and stepped back. He turned to head for the door and said plainly.
" Read the card."
As I opened the card I heard the door click shut, I looked up and Heero was gone. I was almost too afraid to read the card. The way Heero was yelling at me yesterday, I almost expected the card to explode when I opened it, and from the stories Trowa told me about him during the war times, that was quite possible.
But I knew better than that and I opened it anyway. What was written there brought tears to my eyes.
'Gomen, Heero'
/ Sorry? Heero was apologizing? /
"Heero?"
But I remembered that he left and I ran after him.
He must have run too because it only took me a second to read the card and he was already in his room. But I didn't bother thinking about that. I had more important things to do.
*Knock knock*
There was no answer, not even the usual 'hn', nothing at all. So I knocked again a little louder.
*Knock knock*
"Heero?.can I come in?"
"Hn"
/ At least he was as articulate as ever/
I slowly opened the door as I did last night. And just like last night I found him in his window seat looking out the window, but this time he was looking at the fluffy white clouds in the bright blue sky.
"Heero?"
"Hn"
"Heero, I'm sorry too."
"For what?"
He turned around and looked genuinely confused.
"For insisting that you talk to me when you didn't really want to. I always do that. It's probably why I've never really had any good friends until I came to live here. Sorry."
He turned back to the window.
"I've never had any friends at all."
"Yes you have. What about Duo and Quatra and Trowa and Wufei.they're your friends. and so am I. if you'll let me be."
"I don't need friends."
"Oh ok then. Well I guess I'll just go back to my room now. bye Heero."
/ Great!!. how could I let him do that to me again!!!???. that's the second time in two days that Heero has hurt me like this. I guess I expected too much of him/
" Mary wait."
I quickly froze in my position by the doorway.
"Yes?"
"I do want to talk to you."
/ Wow, that was a change of heart/
I turned around to face him and he gestured for me to sit on the bed.
" I've just never done that before."
"I understand Heero."
"Hn"
I sat on the bed and he stood up and walked over to me and stood right in front of me.
"Well aren't you going to sit down?"
"I don't know, I've never talked to anyone before, I thought you were suppose to sit face to face."
I couldn't help laughing, but it was a bad idea because he turned around and started to walk towards the window.
"Heero, Heero wait I was just. casual talk is done in a casual manner. I'm not interviewing you. Just relax."
"I've never done this before."
"I know. And stop acting like we're about to do something much more than just talk!!"
Another bad idea. Heero blushed violently and turned to the window again.
"Heero come back. I'm sorry. Let's talk."
"Ok. so I sit next to you?"
"Yes"
He walked over and say down rigidly.
"Heero relax."
"Sorry."
"And stop apologizing."
"Sorry."
"Heero!!!"
"Hn"
"Look this isn't going to work unless you relax."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
He turned to look at me and I could now see the blush on his cheeks.
"Heero?"
"I'm sorry, I've never done this before."
"You already said that."
"Gomen."
"Hmmm, ok I'll start."
"That's a good idea."
" So why don't you ever join us when we watch TV or anything?"
"Because that's just who I am. I like to be alone."
"No you don't. You wanted to join us yesterday. I could tell."
He turned away but didn't reply.
"Heero why?"
"I'm not welcome."
"Sure you are."
"No I'm not. No one wants me around."
"Believe me you are."
"Hn"
"Heero why don't you believe me. We all like you."
"It's not that you don't like me. It's just no one wants a heartless rock around."
"You're not heartless, if you were heartless you wouldn't have bought me those flowers."
He turned back to me with a slightly more hopeful expression on his face.
"Did you like them?"
"Uhuh they were beautiful."
His face fell.
"I didn't choose them. The woman at the shop said they were the best for apologies."
"I don't mind. It was your idea in the first place."
His face fell further.
" No it was Duo's. I called him last night."
" Heero, I don't care who's idea it was, they were from you and that's all that matters."
" Arigato."
" So where were we?"
"Maybe this was a bad idea."
" If you say so. I'm going now. Thanks for the flowers."
I got up expecting him to call me back but he didn't. I turned when I got to the door and waved goodbye. He didn't see me because he was once again looking out the window so I just shrugged and left the room. Had I stayed only a second more I would have heard him whisper. 'Come back'.
________________________________________________________
It was only when I arrived back in my room that I realized just how much I had learned about Heero in the two minutes that we talked. I learned what he thought people thought about him. And it wasn't good, nor was it true. I had to find out more. But I can't, he doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe I could just hang around with him and see what I could learn from him through his actions.
/ What the hell am I doing? Heero is not some animal that I'm researching and documenting. And why am I so eager to learn about him anyway? Hmmmm. this is very frustrating/
*Knock knock*
The knocking on my door brought me out of my thoughts.
"Come in."
/Heero? Who else could it be? Everyone else is out! /
The door opened slowly and Heero poked his head in.
" Can I come in?"
"That's what I said."
I gave him what I hoped was a sweet smile and he strode into the room.
"I want to talk."
"OK. so talk."
"But I don't know what to say."
"How about we start with something easy like. Duo."
" What about Duo?"
"I don't know.he just seems to be the only thing we have in common. that we can both talk about."
"Oh."
"Ok I have an idea. I'll say something about him.anything as long as it evolves him and then you'll say something about him.ok?"
"But I don't know much about him."
"Sure you do you've been his roommate for over eleven months. Ok I'll start."
He walked over from where he was standing by the door and sat next to me on the bed. But this time he was sitting relaxed.
/ Finally!!! /
" Hmmm. let me think. oh I know. Duo is ticklish .very very ticklish!!!"
At this Heero turned to me and gave me a very accusing look.
"And how do you know that?"
It was the first time I ever heard Heero make a joke!!!! I didn't want to tell him a story now because it was his turn to talk, so I wiggled my eyebrows and he got the drift that I was joking.
"Ok your turn."
"Hmmm. Duo. snores. very loudly."
I giggled a bit but Heero gave no reaction.
"Ok my turn. but I don't know anything that you don't know about him."
I wasn't lying, but it wasn't because I didn't know Duo very well, it was because he was so out going and never keeps anything a secret.
"Oh wait there is something."
/ I can trust Heero with this. I know I can/
"A couple of weeks ago, before he started going out with Hilde, I had a crush on him."
Heero turned to me and raised one eyebrow.
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
"Well do you have a crush on anyone else right now?"
I have no idea why, but I blushed violently.
/ Is he asking if I have a crush on him? /
I had to tell him the truth.
"No Heero we're just friends."
"You know what?. that means so much more to me than if you did have a crush on me."
"Huh?. what do you mean?"
"I've never had any friends, only allies. During the war I couldn't afford to have friends. Having friends makes you weak. So I didn't think of my allies as friends so it wouldn't be hard to let them go."
/ Wow what a breakthrough. Heero is actually pouring his heart out to me!!/
" What about after the war?"
He tuned away but didn't stop talking.
"Now I don't know how to make friends. I've never had friends and I don't know how to make them."
"Didn't you have any friends as a child?"
"No. From when I was just an infant, I was trained to be the perfect soldier. It came in handy during the war because it meant that I was stronger and fearser than the others who had only been training for a couple of years. But after the war, they could all go back to how they were and be normal once again,"
He gave a slight chuckle but not out of humor and continued.
"Or as normal as they could become. But I. I've always been like this I don't know how to be normal. And even though I wish I could consider them my friends, unless they make the first move and persist like you did, I don't think I could let them be."
"Haven't they tried to be you're friend?"
"They have, but when I turned them away the first few times they gave up."
"Heero you have to show them that you want to be friends. You live with them for god's sake!!!"
"I can't, I don't know how."
"Growing up in an orphanage, I didn't have all that many friends either, matter of fact you're the first friend that I've ever spoken heart to heart to, but I think that I can help you."
He swung around with new eagerness and our eyes met. Neither of us was willing to break the contact, there was something stopping us.
"Arigato."
He finally spoke accepting my offer.
My heart missed a beat.
/What was it about this boy that made me so emotional? I've never cared what anyone else thought before, but he's different. What does that mean? /
I broke the contact for just a second to look at the time, it was 4 o'clock, it was 3 hours since Heero gave me the flowers.
I felt something warm on my hand. I wanted to see what it was but I didn't want to break the eye contact again. Heero reached out a hand and cupped my cheek and I realized that the warmth on the back of my hand was his palm.
/ What's happening? Do I have a crush on Heero?. no this is much more than what I felt for Duo. and all this time I thought it was friendship. I lo.."
But Heero broke the silence and what he said blew my mind.
"Mary, I think I love you."
/Wow where did that come from!?!?!... not that I mind... is that what I've been feeling for him... what should I say./
"I think I love you too Heero."
"So what do we do now?"
And as if he suddenly knew the answer to his own question he drew his face close to mine and I felt my eyes flutter shut as his soft warm lips met mine. It was the most emotional thing that ever happened to me. I felt my whole body overcome with a numbing chill then overwhelming warmth. The kiss lasted only a minute when there was a knock on the front door of the house. We drew apart at the same time, and had the same disappointed look on our faces.
/ My first kiss was way better than I had ever imagined. /
"That would be Duo and the others, they always forget their keys."
I nodded and stood up preparing to go answer the door but Heero grabbed my arm and turned me around.
"Do we tell them now?"
"Tell them what Heero?"
He gave me a look that was half disappointed and half sarcastic.
"You know what I'm talking about."
I gave him an evil smirk and decided to show him that I knew.
"Oh you mean this?"
And I pulled him in for another long passionate kiss. It lasted a few short moments when he drew away and smiled.
"Yes that."
"I say we let them work it out themselves."
The knocking on the door got louder and more inpatient.
"We better get that."
"Yeah, come on."
"Wait for me Heero."
I grabbed his hand and we went to answer the door.
-----
"Come on Mary open the damn door these bags are heavy!!!"
"Duo you're so inpatient!!! We're coming."
I opened the door just as Duo realized what I had said.
"We?"
But when the door was fully open he understood.
"Heero?. and Mary?.Since when?"
"About 10 minutes ago."
"Ten minutes ago what?"
Quatre was the last to enter the house and had not yet seen what the others were all staring at. Me and Heero standing in front of them with our fingers laced together. But then he looked up and gasped.
"Oh I see."
He was too shocked to say anything else.
"Well I guess you've had a pretty good birthday,"
"Yeah, I got a really good present."
I looked at Heero and he looked back at me and we just stared at each other until Duo shoved a parcel under my nose and said,
"Well here's another present, from all of us."
"Thank you Duo, Thanks Trowa, Wufei, Quatre? Quatre what's up?"
Quatre had silently walked over to the kitchen table and had his head in his hands. He appeared to be crying.
"Quatre?"
Everyone said unanimously. But when he looked up at us he wasn't crying, he was laughing. A happy, cheerful laugh.
"I was right all along, you and Heero make the perfect couple."
"What are you talking about Quatre you never said anything about them being together, you're just trying to take all the credit for the perfect match!!!"
Trowa, who was standing by the front door but had moved to the kitchen with Quatre, decided not to let him get away with getting any credit for the pairing this time, it was enough that he stole some from me last time with Duo and Hilde.
Every one broke out in a hysterical laugh when Quatre stuck out his tongue at Trowa.
Everyone but Heero. I stopped laughing and looked at him, he placed his arm gently around my waist and for, what I'm guessing is the first time in his life, Heero Yuy laughed out loud, and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled contently.
/ This is the best birthday ever/
OWARI
What did you think?!?! Any good? RR please!!!
