"Dear Penthouse" by Scarlett Hauser
This is a follow-up to fic "Joe-ette's in the City - Chapter 13 - I Do's and Don'ts"
Rated R for adult situation, language, and possibly offensive material suggestion.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to GIJOE, Devil's Due, Hasbro, and Marvel and all the usual disclaimers. I do not own any of the G.I. Joe or Cobra characters, blah blah blah. I also do not own the Penthouse or Cosmopolitan name and this is just a parody and I am not making profit off of it, blah blah blah. The only things I own are the figments of my demented imagination.
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September 23, 2002
Dear Penthouse,
I am the leader for an elite Special Forces team. I always thought the letters in your great mag were fake, until I had an experience that changed my mind. One evening I was attending a friend's wedding when suddenly there she was. "Centerfold" (gotta change her name here for legal reasons to cover my ass) was the hottest bridesmaid you ever did see. Had long luscious legs and blonde hair that makes me long for yesteryears if ya know what I mean! Dressed in her bridesmaid dress and no bra, heh it wasn't the kind of dress that allowed for one, she challenged me to take her for the ride of her life and mine.
I followed her into the corridor where she pushed me into the restroom and yanked me into a stall. Boy howdy was she hot for me! I thought, "This little vixen's gonna learn the true meaning of hot and nasty." As soon as I closed that stall door behind her it was ON! Heh, or should I say "OFF." Centerfold was all over me and she made it clear that she wanted it bad. Hey, who was I to say "no" right? She already had half my suit off so I returned the favor by ripping her lacey thong right off her hips. Yeah, she liked that so much that she shoved me down to the seat and straddled me then ordered me to show her my "huge talent." Of course I didn't have to oblige because she helped herself soon enough. She said "Jesus, General.you went commando at a wedding?" I told her, "Take it or leave it, Blondie." She said, "I'll take everything you got and then some, soldier- boy!" Yeah, she sure did all right and then some!
So needless to say I proceeded to give her a lesson in saluting an officer and his flagpole that she'll never forget. As I eagerly look forward to our next "PT session," I must get back to the everyday life of fighting for America.
I swear I'm not making this stuff up!
"General"
address withheld
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Dear Cosmo,
I was recently a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. After a few glasses of champagne at the reception I started antagonizing a nemesis of mine, let's call him "General." I don't know if it was the champagne or the fact that he's built like an Adonis but the tone turned more sexual and I started getting turned on. So I walked away to collect myself and cool off but General followed me into the corridor and kissed me like I've never been kissed before. I don't know what came over me but next thing you know I pushed him into the restroom and forced him into a stall to have my way with him! And I'm really glad I did because it was the best sex I ever had, not to mention the hottest. I was aggressive and he liked it. It turned him on to no end. But I kept in control, told him it was just sex then kicked him out when we were done. I blew his mind away; you could tell that he's never had it like that before, which means he'll be back begging for more. I own that man now!
"Centerfold"
****************************
This is a follow-up to fic "Joe-ette's in the City - Chapter 13 - I Do's and Don'ts"
Rated R for adult situation, language, and possibly offensive material suggestion.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to GIJOE, Devil's Due, Hasbro, and Marvel and all the usual disclaimers. I do not own any of the G.I. Joe or Cobra characters, blah blah blah. I also do not own the Penthouse or Cosmopolitan name and this is just a parody and I am not making profit off of it, blah blah blah. The only things I own are the figments of my demented imagination.
********************
September 23, 2002
Dear Penthouse,
I am the leader for an elite Special Forces team. I always thought the letters in your great mag were fake, until I had an experience that changed my mind. One evening I was attending a friend's wedding when suddenly there she was. "Centerfold" (gotta change her name here for legal reasons to cover my ass) was the hottest bridesmaid you ever did see. Had long luscious legs and blonde hair that makes me long for yesteryears if ya know what I mean! Dressed in her bridesmaid dress and no bra, heh it wasn't the kind of dress that allowed for one, she challenged me to take her for the ride of her life and mine.
I followed her into the corridor where she pushed me into the restroom and yanked me into a stall. Boy howdy was she hot for me! I thought, "This little vixen's gonna learn the true meaning of hot and nasty." As soon as I closed that stall door behind her it was ON! Heh, or should I say "OFF." Centerfold was all over me and she made it clear that she wanted it bad. Hey, who was I to say "no" right? She already had half my suit off so I returned the favor by ripping her lacey thong right off her hips. Yeah, she liked that so much that she shoved me down to the seat and straddled me then ordered me to show her my "huge talent." Of course I didn't have to oblige because she helped herself soon enough. She said "Jesus, General.you went commando at a wedding?" I told her, "Take it or leave it, Blondie." She said, "I'll take everything you got and then some, soldier- boy!" Yeah, she sure did all right and then some!
So needless to say I proceeded to give her a lesson in saluting an officer and his flagpole that she'll never forget. As I eagerly look forward to our next "PT session," I must get back to the everyday life of fighting for America.
I swear I'm not making this stuff up!
"General"
address withheld
*******************
Dear Cosmo,
I was recently a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. After a few glasses of champagne at the reception I started antagonizing a nemesis of mine, let's call him "General." I don't know if it was the champagne or the fact that he's built like an Adonis but the tone turned more sexual and I started getting turned on. So I walked away to collect myself and cool off but General followed me into the corridor and kissed me like I've never been kissed before. I don't know what came over me but next thing you know I pushed him into the restroom and forced him into a stall to have my way with him! And I'm really glad I did because it was the best sex I ever had, not to mention the hottest. I was aggressive and he liked it. It turned him on to no end. But I kept in control, told him it was just sex then kicked him out when we were done. I blew his mind away; you could tell that he's never had it like that before, which means he'll be back begging for more. I own that man now!
"Centerfold"
****************************
