This is responding to the challenge of CryingCinderella. I'll be placing the requirements in the story slowly.

In chapter 1, the things are…

Professor Snape's wretched twin sister Morgana. She loves stirring up trouble.

".I've been up all night, I've got gel in my hair, I'm in a dress and I'm loaded. Don't mess with me!"

".Thieves aren't breathing down your neck."

"Forgetaboutit."

"You have to joking…" Snape hissed at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore shook his head. "Nope. Twin sisters, teaching Combat &Elements and Defense Against the Dark Arts. The Professors Tsuki. They are quite intelligent. You shouldn't worry."

A knock.

"Come in."

A woman came in. She looked like the Slytherin colors made into human form. Her slender sinuous body was in a slinky green dress, with silver tresses brushing her pale shoulders, and had a murderous look in her chocolate brown eyes.

"Stella, correct?" Dumbledore said, his eyebrows raised.

She nodded and said in a sweet musical voice with her white teeth clenched, "I've been up all night, I've got gel in my hair, I'm in a dress and I'm loaded. Don't mess with me!"

Snape said, "Who are you and what happened?"

Stella said, "I'm Stella Tsuki, and me and my sister are learning the new class and DADA. Madam Hooch dared me to go bar-hopping. I may have won the damn bet, but I still want to get her back!"

Madam Hooch came in, her face covered in egg yolk. She was as mad as Stella. "Stella, were you the one who made the exploding eggs?"

"Duh. I had to got you for the bar-hopping."

Snape said, hiding a laugh, "You look like my twin sister like that. Except she's a whole lot uglier."

Another woman walked in. Her hair was red-black, and she wore black robes. She was laughing.

"Shut the fuck up, Aka!" Stella snapped.

Aka stopped and took a look at Stella. She began laughing again, even louder.

"Stel's in –ahahahahaha- a dress- ahahaahahhahaha!"

Stella sighed, and hollered, "HYPER DIMENSIONAL FRYING PAN!" With that, a huge frying skillet appeared, and Stella whacked Aka over the head with the pan. "NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP, BLOODY MOON!"

Snape blinked. "You two are- are- are acting like sisters!" he said.

The redhead responded, "That's because we are."

Stella nodded.

Snape suddenly figured something out that wasn't good. It was the feeling about the duo… "You're not bios."

Stella shook her head.

Aka said, "Same year. But, yes, we are both adopted. We know shit about our real parents, and we were raised in Nihon."

Snape chuckled. "Damn. I was hoping you weren't. Now, I have to write in rojimaji."

"We know it."

Snape scowled at the two. "And how old are you two?"

Aka smiled, and Stella said, "We're probably the youngest teachers in the history of this school."

"That would be under twenty-five. I've teaching Potions since then."

Stella smiled. "Good, we're not."

Dumbledore said, "Stella, Aka, this is Professor Severus Snape, our Potions Master."

"As you know, I'm Stella." Stella said, nodding in greeting.

Aka bowed, and said, "I'll be going as Professor Aka."

Snape gestured to Madam Hooch, "Madam Hooch is the one with egg on her face. She's Quidditch referee and flying instructor."

Aka shrugged, and walked out. "Sayonara, Madam Hooch." As she passed Snape, she purred, "And I'm willing to get your job, by any means possible, Severus."

Stella walked- no, skipped out of the room, smiling. As she passed Snape, she fell over, right on her face. She was wearing high-heels. She sat up, and with a face darker than Snape's expression, yanked off the not-matching peridot-green heels. She stood up, dusted herself off, and said, "I'm alright." She walked out of the door, with the heels in her hands.

Madam Hooch stopped laughing, sighed, and said, "Well, at least I can use this as a facial. Good-bye, Albus. Good-bye Severus."

**

The next day, Snape walked into the Great Hall, looking at the empty seats, soon to be filled by students, new and old. The staff table in the front was half-full, since it was early enough for some teachers to still in dreamland.

Minerva McGonagall was in deep conversation with Stella, who looked like-

-like the first day of teaching for himself. He remembered it well; he wore new robes, and he had been as excited as a kid at Christmas. He had been eager to start teaching, and after twelve years, he was a bit bitter, but the excitement was contagious. He sat next to McGonagall, and Stella said, "You're the head of Gyffindor, right?"

Minerva nodded. "You want to be warned about students?"

Severus spoke then. "Do you teach the seventh-year Gyffindors?"

"With the Slytherins, in CAE. Why?"

Simultaneously, the heads of Slytherin and Gyffindor said, "They fight like Aurors and Death Eaters."

Aka said, "So? We switch every half-month. By the way, Dumbledore said that you know how to wizard-duel. In November, we want you to help us out. We know some, but my skills lie in muggle hand-to-hand and mêlée. Stella teaches Elements."

Minerva smiled and said, "You two are so full of energy. You're just like all of us when we first came to teach."

Stella grinned. "The last teacher asked if we were on a sugar high."

Aka thought for a second, tapped her chin with a fingernail painted red-black and said, "Well, I did drink a cup of water that had a cup of sugar in it."

Snape shook his head. "Sheesh. And I thought the students had problems."

Dumbledore walked in, smiling ear-to-ear. "Hello."

"Ohayo, Albus." Aka and Stella said, with a bow.

Snape blinked. A familiar face appeared…

"Ah, yes. I forgot. Professor Binns has passed on, and we have a new History of Magic professor." Dumbledore said, grinning.

A young man stepped out from behind Dumbledore. It was-

A girl walked in, from a door in the middle of the Great Hall. She was about seventeen, with dirty-dishwater blond hair. She was in black pants, a midnight blue halter to accommodate the huge night-colored butterfly wings, and she held a wand in her right hand. The wand was a black staff, which swirled with stars, galaxies, and the occasional nova. Beside her was a hovering orb. She looked around and squeaked.

"Opps!" She looked at the orb. "You did it again!"

In a New Yorker accent, it replied, "Well, excccuuuuuuuusseee me! It ain't my fault that you can go to any of these stories!"

"But usually, it's at night, when no one's awake! Or, in the case of my vampire stories, I'm in the vampire's dead victim's house! Not at-" the girl took a look at a watch, "seven o'clock in the morning! And," she took a breath and yelled, "Thieves aren't breathing down your neck! So what are you worrying about?"

She stopped and looked at the slack-jawed professors.

"Uh oh…" She gulped and opened the door. She placed a pair of Ray Bans over her eyes and pointed her staff at the teachers. "Forgetaboutit!" With a flash of light, she was gone, and the chapter came to a confusing end.