*you'd think I'd run out of crap to talk about, but these damn chapters keep on coming! Unfortunately, no one's reading them so no one really cares. Except maybe you, Shido. Hope you still like it. And no, Michael is going to be no part of this. Jon is STRAIGHT. sorry. Anyway, here we go again!*

As Jonathan and Akio exited the office, Akio shuffled with a packet of papers he recieved that permitted him to shower and things like that. Many of them also prohibited him from doing anything Akio-like. He was already thinking up fun ways of breaking those contracts. Presently, Jonathan was fuming beside him, tapping his chin with a forefinger and tugging at his hair every now and then. Akio noticed his discomfort and decided to make conversation.

"So, uh, Jonny. You seem pretty upset. I mean, I would be too if my manliness were insulted like that, but you gotta get over it." He paused, looking down at his bare chest for inspiration. "Hey, who is it that you're going to marry, anyway? She must be important if the General wants you to be more manly for her..."

"I'm betrothed to his daughter." Jonathan said, as if speaking from another body. Akio loked around. No, it was Jon who'd said it.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"I said I'm betrothed to his daughter, Ohtori. That means I'm to be her husband if your dense head couldn't comprehend it. I haven't met her, but I imagine the wedding will be soon. We were supposed to get married when she turns 18. Last time I asked, she was 17, so it must be that time. God, I haven't even thought about it for years!" He stood there, shaking his pretty red head in frustration while Akio speculated.

"So... you don't have a girlfriend, right?" he asked.

"No, of course not." Jonathan answered tersely.

Akio calculated frantically in his head. He's not married. He's got no girlfriend. He's a tight ass. And he's wrapped around that bitch general's little finger. "You're not a VIRGIN, are you?" he ventured.

Jonathan stared up at him sharply. His eyes gave that look that said, 'Hi, my name is Evil. It's my party. Welcome to my bus.'
"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"Hey, buddy. Nothing meant by it. I just was curious, you know. And it's not fair for you to answer a question with a question. At least I give straight answers."

Jonathan sighed. "All right, Ohtori. If it makes you happy, I AM a virgin. There. Just know that if you tell anyone I'm gonna feed you to my hampster."

...........

"You have a hampster?"

"Yes. His name is Sexy Pete."

...........

Akio looked at Jonathan. Jonathan looked at Akio.

"So you're a virgin, huh?"

Jonathan rolled his eyes and dropped his arms. "Come on, Ohtori. We don't want to waste any more time." He walked off, scraping a hand through his silky red hair.

Akio followed him in wonder. He tried to recall what it was like to be a virgin, but he couldn't remember anything back that far. What on earth WAS he going to do with this prude? The only thing he had going for him was the fact that he was irresistably good looking. Hmmmm....

Jonathan led Akio to his house; a huge, imposing structure that had obviously cost him a fortune.

"Alright, Ohtori," he said when they got there, "My room is upstairs." They walked up the stairs. They went into Jonathan's room. It was green. Akio wasn't really into green. Akio liked red. red was a good color-- "Ok. I'm going to let you use the shower. It's over there. Don't do anything stupid, Ok, Ohtori? And don't get your filth all over the bathroom, either. I need to be able to use it after this." He walked to a corner of the room and tugged off his gloves. He then removed his jacket and unzipped his bodysuit, revealing much more than Akio could have hoped for. This may have been the first man he had ever seen who was the proud owner of nipples. He gawked.

Jonathan turned to him in irritation. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Akio swallowed, knowing that he was going to upset the man even further by saying what he was about to say, but he said it anyway: "Um...Jonathan? There's this paper here..." he held up one of the restrictions on his actions, "It says you're not to let me out of your sight for any moment."

He waited while the information sunk in. Then came the explosion.

"Oh, NOOO! ((A.K.A. SHIMOTAH!!!! if you like wolfwood)) No nonononono!" he strode over to Akio and grappled the paper from his hands. Reading it over, he found that that damn sexy bastard was right. He threw his head back and slammed it against the wall. It hurt more than he expected. He had to take a moment for the pain to recede before going on. "FINE." he assented, "We'll go together. Hell, we're both men, right? There's no problem with that?" He looked to Akio uneasily.

"I have NO qualms," Akio told him.

Jonathan groaned and stalked into the bathroom, flicking on the light. "Come on," he called, and Akio quickly followed. This was going to be SOOO much fun!


*Sometimes I scare myself when I come up with things like this. Oh, but it's too good to let go!*