Chapter 8
Chopsticks
Sirius awoke to the sound of soft hooting. He squinted and for a moment, could not figure out why that was necessary. Then he realized that sunshine was streaming in his cell window.
"Guess even dementors get tired of rain." He said to himself as he set about investigating the hooting sounds. It was a small owl on the ledge outside his window, just out of sight. Sirius jumped up grabbed the bars and hoisted himself up to look at him.
"Well, hello, little fellow." He said, "Are you here to see me?"
The tiny owl squeezed his way between the bars and flew around the cell hooting his pleasure that he had completed his mission. He had two parchment notes attached to his foot.
"Two notes." Sirius thought, "I seem to be Mr. Popularity."
The first one was from Ron. It told Sirius that Buckbeak had made his way to Hogwarts and that He and Midnight had been taken to Lupin's and to meet with him there if he could.
"Wonderful." Sirius thought. "Now all I have to do is get out of here. I'm glad nobody wants me to do anything difficult."
The other note contained a single word - "ALI-HOOPLA."
"ALI-HOOPLA." Said Sirius out loud. "What is that supposed to mean?"
He caught a glimpse of a shimmering light from the corner of his eye. He looked up to see the carpet that was supposed to be on the floor of his cell now glowing softly and hovering six inches above it. The tiny owl hooted his surprise and did a flip.
"You're telling me." Said Sirius to the owl. "Just what do we have here?"
There was a noise outside Sirius' cell. Quickly he thrust the parchments at the tiny owl who grabbed them in his beak and flew to the window. He squeezed between the bars and gave a muffled hoot as he sat on the ledge out of sight.
"Good boy." Said Sirius, "But stay close." He turned his attention to the carpet that was still hovering above the floor. Sirius jumped on it but it was like jumping on something solid. The carpet did not descend an inch.
"Come on, hold it. Stop. Quit it. That's enough. Down. Descend. Cease. Desist. Halt." He said in rapid succession. Suddenly the glow went out and the carpet dropped with a dusty "thunk" to the floor.
A second later the door opened and a wizard and two dementors entered.
"Okay, Black. Said the wizard. "You know the routine. Contraband check. Assume the position."
Sirius knew. Several times a week the Azkaban guards did a through search of every cell and room in the prison that prisoners had any access to. There was no way to hide anything. If it was not issued by the prison or accounted for in some way, it was confiscated. No argument and no appeal. The offender also got to spend a few weeks in the dungeon to think about his transgression.
The dungeon of Azkaban was deep under the prison. There was no light, no sound and no contact with the outside world. The walls were six feet of solid granite and the door was enchanted iron. Meals were slipped under the door. The isolation was unnerving. Most prisoners were babbling lunatics within a matter of days. Sirius had spent some time there and it was only his ability to become a dog that enabled him to keep his sanity.
Sirius put his hands against the cell wall and allowed the wizard to search him. The dementors removed his mattress and examined the carpet. Sirius held his breath. Would they discover that the carpet was magic? Would the carpet do what it did a few minutes ago? They put it down and moved on to the door and walls. Now Sirius worried that the dementors would sense the owl outside.
"Not likely." He thought, "Dementors don't sense animals too well. After all, that's how I got out of here the last time." Satisfied all was well, they allowed Sirius to straighten up.
"All right." The wizard said to the dementors. "Looks like he's clean. Let's move on."
They filed out of the cell and locked the door.
Sirius collapsed on his bed and let out a sigh of relief. "That." He said to no one in particular, "Was way too close." He looked at the carpet and picked it up to examine it. It was now just an ordinary, lifeless rug.
There was a faint POP. Sirius looked up from the carpet to see Dobby apparate in a small puff of smoke. He was carrying a tray of food.
"You are the Elf that brought the rug in here. How did you do that?" Sirius half asked and half insisted. "This is Azkaban. You can't just apparate in and out of here."
Dobby looked surprised. "They say you not supposed to do that at Hogwarts either." Said Dobby. "But us Elfs do it anyway." (See "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)
"No, no." Said Sirius in exasperation, "I mean there are spells and enchantments on this place that are supposed to keep that from happening."
Dobby shrugged. "Elf magic different from human magic." He said as if that should have been common knowledge.
"You mean stronger?" Sirius asked.
"No." Dobby replied, "Just different."
"Different how?" Sirius pressed.
"Just different. Dobby no Auror. Dobby can't give lesson on different kinds of magic."
Sirius thought back to Diversity in Magic 101. It was true. Elves had magic powers that were not fully understood by the human wizarding community. It was possible for them to do things in spite of charms and spells that stopped human wizards. Sirius regarded Dobby for a moment.
"Does your master know you are doing this?" He asked.
"Dobby have no master." Said Dobby proudly, "Dobby a free elf."
"A free elf." Sirius repeated, "Where do you work?"
"Here. Dobby was freed by a great wizard, Mr. Harry Potter."
"Harry Potter!" exclaimed Sirius, "You know Harry Potter?"
"Uh-huh." Said Dobby, "Then Dobby go to work for Professor Dumbledore at Hogwarts."
"So how is it that you are here?" asked Sirius.
"Dobby can't explain now. Just trust him."
"Are you 'a friend'?" Sirius asked.
Dobby looked puzzled.
"Did you give me the potion?" Sirius asked again.
"Mr. Sirius Black asks a lot of questions." Dobby said, "Maybe you need to have dinner."
"I'm not hungry." Said Sirius, "Why are you here?"
To bring Mr. Sirius Black dinner." Said Dobby. "Very special Japanese dinner. Sukiyaki."
"I don't like Chinese." Said Sirius
"Then Japanese is okay with Mr. Sirius Black?" Dobby brightened.
"All right, all right." Said Sirius wearily, "Bring it here."
Dobby put the tray on the bed. "There are no utensils." Sirius complained.
Dobby looked surprised again. "Where does Mr. Sirius Black think he is? You think Azkaban going to give you a knife or fork?"
"Well what am I supposed to use?" Sirius asked.
"Traditional Japanese." Said Dobby, "Chopsticks."
"You are kidding." Said Sirius, "Who can eat with those things?"
"Japanese." Dobby answered.
"Please, Dobby." Pleaded Sirius, "Can't I at least have a spoon?"
"Dobby thinks Mr. Sirius Black should try the chopsticks."
"Why are there three of them?"
Dobby shrugged again. "Can't tell. One might get lost or broken."
Sirius picked up two of the chopsticks and tried to eat with them. After several tries he put them down in disgust. "Dobby, I can't eat with these things." He said. "Can you please get me something more conventional?"
"Maybe Mr. Sirius Black should try the other chopstick." Dobby urged. "Maybe it works better."
"How could it work better?" Sirius insisted. "It's just like the others."
"Just try." Said Dobby.
"Dobby, did anyone ever tell you that you are one strange elf?" Groaned Sirius as he reached for the remaining chopstick. As he picked it up sparks shot from the end. Sirius was so surprised that he almost dropped it.
"Dobby." Sirius said quietly. "Did you just give me a wan-."
Dobby held up his hand. "Dobby gives nothing but Japanese dinner with chopsticks." He said firmly.
"Chopsticks don't do that!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Very special chopstick, huh?" said Dobby mischievously.
Sirius examined the chopstick closely. It was a wand that someone had gone to great lengths to disguise as an oriental eating utensil. Sirius had to admit whoever it was did a good job. Even with his Auror training, if he had not known what he was looking at he would have never suspected.
"Well." Said Sirius, "Let's try a little experiment."
He picked up the end of the carpet that had the tag and the Arabic writing. He touched the chopstick/wand to the Arabic and said "English!" The characters rearranged themselves into a readable form, which said:
Another Fine Product of the ALI-BABA Flying Carpet Company. Offices in Baghdad, Cairo, Istanbul and San Dimas, California.
Sirius awoke to the sound of soft hooting. He squinted and for a moment, could not figure out why that was necessary. Then he realized that sunshine was streaming in his cell window.
"Guess even dementors get tired of rain." He said to himself as he set about investigating the hooting sounds. It was a small owl on the ledge outside his window, just out of sight. Sirius jumped up grabbed the bars and hoisted himself up to look at him.
"Well, hello, little fellow." He said, "Are you here to see me?"
The tiny owl squeezed his way between the bars and flew around the cell hooting his pleasure that he had completed his mission. He had two parchment notes attached to his foot.
"Two notes." Sirius thought, "I seem to be Mr. Popularity."
The first one was from Ron. It told Sirius that Buckbeak had made his way to Hogwarts and that He and Midnight had been taken to Lupin's and to meet with him there if he could.
"Wonderful." Sirius thought. "Now all I have to do is get out of here. I'm glad nobody wants me to do anything difficult."
The other note contained a single word - "ALI-HOOPLA."
"ALI-HOOPLA." Said Sirius out loud. "What is that supposed to mean?"
He caught a glimpse of a shimmering light from the corner of his eye. He looked up to see the carpet that was supposed to be on the floor of his cell now glowing softly and hovering six inches above it. The tiny owl hooted his surprise and did a flip.
"You're telling me." Said Sirius to the owl. "Just what do we have here?"
There was a noise outside Sirius' cell. Quickly he thrust the parchments at the tiny owl who grabbed them in his beak and flew to the window. He squeezed between the bars and gave a muffled hoot as he sat on the ledge out of sight.
"Good boy." Said Sirius, "But stay close." He turned his attention to the carpet that was still hovering above the floor. Sirius jumped on it but it was like jumping on something solid. The carpet did not descend an inch.
"Come on, hold it. Stop. Quit it. That's enough. Down. Descend. Cease. Desist. Halt." He said in rapid succession. Suddenly the glow went out and the carpet dropped with a dusty "thunk" to the floor.
A second later the door opened and a wizard and two dementors entered.
"Okay, Black. Said the wizard. "You know the routine. Contraband check. Assume the position."
Sirius knew. Several times a week the Azkaban guards did a through search of every cell and room in the prison that prisoners had any access to. There was no way to hide anything. If it was not issued by the prison or accounted for in some way, it was confiscated. No argument and no appeal. The offender also got to spend a few weeks in the dungeon to think about his transgression.
The dungeon of Azkaban was deep under the prison. There was no light, no sound and no contact with the outside world. The walls were six feet of solid granite and the door was enchanted iron. Meals were slipped under the door. The isolation was unnerving. Most prisoners were babbling lunatics within a matter of days. Sirius had spent some time there and it was only his ability to become a dog that enabled him to keep his sanity.
Sirius put his hands against the cell wall and allowed the wizard to search him. The dementors removed his mattress and examined the carpet. Sirius held his breath. Would they discover that the carpet was magic? Would the carpet do what it did a few minutes ago? They put it down and moved on to the door and walls. Now Sirius worried that the dementors would sense the owl outside.
"Not likely." He thought, "Dementors don't sense animals too well. After all, that's how I got out of here the last time." Satisfied all was well, they allowed Sirius to straighten up.
"All right." The wizard said to the dementors. "Looks like he's clean. Let's move on."
They filed out of the cell and locked the door.
Sirius collapsed on his bed and let out a sigh of relief. "That." He said to no one in particular, "Was way too close." He looked at the carpet and picked it up to examine it. It was now just an ordinary, lifeless rug.
There was a faint POP. Sirius looked up from the carpet to see Dobby apparate in a small puff of smoke. He was carrying a tray of food.
"You are the Elf that brought the rug in here. How did you do that?" Sirius half asked and half insisted. "This is Azkaban. You can't just apparate in and out of here."
Dobby looked surprised. "They say you not supposed to do that at Hogwarts either." Said Dobby. "But us Elfs do it anyway." (See "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)
"No, no." Said Sirius in exasperation, "I mean there are spells and enchantments on this place that are supposed to keep that from happening."
Dobby shrugged. "Elf magic different from human magic." He said as if that should have been common knowledge.
"You mean stronger?" Sirius asked.
"No." Dobby replied, "Just different."
"Different how?" Sirius pressed.
"Just different. Dobby no Auror. Dobby can't give lesson on different kinds of magic."
Sirius thought back to Diversity in Magic 101. It was true. Elves had magic powers that were not fully understood by the human wizarding community. It was possible for them to do things in spite of charms and spells that stopped human wizards. Sirius regarded Dobby for a moment.
"Does your master know you are doing this?" He asked.
"Dobby have no master." Said Dobby proudly, "Dobby a free elf."
"A free elf." Sirius repeated, "Where do you work?"
"Here. Dobby was freed by a great wizard, Mr. Harry Potter."
"Harry Potter!" exclaimed Sirius, "You know Harry Potter?"
"Uh-huh." Said Dobby, "Then Dobby go to work for Professor Dumbledore at Hogwarts."
"So how is it that you are here?" asked Sirius.
"Dobby can't explain now. Just trust him."
"Are you 'a friend'?" Sirius asked.
Dobby looked puzzled.
"Did you give me the potion?" Sirius asked again.
"Mr. Sirius Black asks a lot of questions." Dobby said, "Maybe you need to have dinner."
"I'm not hungry." Said Sirius, "Why are you here?"
To bring Mr. Sirius Black dinner." Said Dobby. "Very special Japanese dinner. Sukiyaki."
"I don't like Chinese." Said Sirius
"Then Japanese is okay with Mr. Sirius Black?" Dobby brightened.
"All right, all right." Said Sirius wearily, "Bring it here."
Dobby put the tray on the bed. "There are no utensils." Sirius complained.
Dobby looked surprised again. "Where does Mr. Sirius Black think he is? You think Azkaban going to give you a knife or fork?"
"Well what am I supposed to use?" Sirius asked.
"Traditional Japanese." Said Dobby, "Chopsticks."
"You are kidding." Said Sirius, "Who can eat with those things?"
"Japanese." Dobby answered.
"Please, Dobby." Pleaded Sirius, "Can't I at least have a spoon?"
"Dobby thinks Mr. Sirius Black should try the chopsticks."
"Why are there three of them?"
Dobby shrugged again. "Can't tell. One might get lost or broken."
Sirius picked up two of the chopsticks and tried to eat with them. After several tries he put them down in disgust. "Dobby, I can't eat with these things." He said. "Can you please get me something more conventional?"
"Maybe Mr. Sirius Black should try the other chopstick." Dobby urged. "Maybe it works better."
"How could it work better?" Sirius insisted. "It's just like the others."
"Just try." Said Dobby.
"Dobby, did anyone ever tell you that you are one strange elf?" Groaned Sirius as he reached for the remaining chopstick. As he picked it up sparks shot from the end. Sirius was so surprised that he almost dropped it.
"Dobby." Sirius said quietly. "Did you just give me a wan-."
Dobby held up his hand. "Dobby gives nothing but Japanese dinner with chopsticks." He said firmly.
"Chopsticks don't do that!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Very special chopstick, huh?" said Dobby mischievously.
Sirius examined the chopstick closely. It was a wand that someone had gone to great lengths to disguise as an oriental eating utensil. Sirius had to admit whoever it was did a good job. Even with his Auror training, if he had not known what he was looking at he would have never suspected.
"Well." Said Sirius, "Let's try a little experiment."
He picked up the end of the carpet that had the tag and the Arabic writing. He touched the chopstick/wand to the Arabic and said "English!" The characters rearranged themselves into a readable form, which said:
Another Fine Product of the ALI-BABA Flying Carpet Company. Offices in Baghdad, Cairo, Istanbul and San Dimas, California.
