Title: Faith Of The Heart
Author: Claudie Loire AKA CdL
Pairings: D/C
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: umm everthing?
Synopsis: Connor writes a letter to a very unusual person.
Distribution: Unnatural, Only Death & Destiny, Otherwise just ask. Im very
likely to say yes.
Disclaimer: Not mine, I wish! The poem is by me however. The song is by
Russel Watson.
Dedication: Kizmet K, who gave me the idea for the opening paragraph and
Cynthia, who gave me the idea.
//Its been a long road. Getting from there to here. It´s been a long time, but my time is finally near. // Dear Mother, Have you ever had one of those moments in your life were you wonder what its all about? What's the point? And have you ever asked someone this very question? I'm willing to say that most people will have gotten the same answer too. //And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing´s in my way.// Happiness is what we live for. That joy of hearing someone laugh or someone so enthralled in another they love they see no one else. My joy has a name. She's called Dawn. It is an appropriate name too. When you see her, that's what it feels like. The beauty of a dawn, that brightness of a new day. When she smiles, My God, and by the way I do know I shouldn't take the Lords name in vain but I think I am already in heaven when she smiles. It is as simple as that. There is nothing more beautiful in the world that when she is happy, and nothing more painful when she is sad. It makes me feel like the most important person in the world when she's around and cuts me to the bone when we are apart. I don't know what I'd do without her.
//And they´re not gonna hold me down no more, no, they´re not gonna hold me down.// Dad, he's talking about getting a tutor. I know he means well, he always does, but its .embarrassing. Especially around Dawn. I mean, she's really smart and it'll be embarrassing. What do you think I should do? I know I shouldn't be scared but.shes just so different. Out of place yet really in place. Around her, I belong. //I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star.// I feel so out of place sometimes. To quote myself, "I don't remember being lost." Do you remember? Do you know that I think I'm falling in love? It's such weird feeling. Like acrobats jumping without nets, yet no one ever asks about her. When I ask, they go quiet. What's the big secret? //It´s been a long night. Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness.// Everyone is always asking if I'm ok. You wana know how I feel?....I feel confused, like im being pulled in all dirctions so much I don't feel like me because im surrounded by people talking all at once and I don't understand. But at the same time I feel alone, utterly and completely. In the concept of both, i - im confused, and a little afraid. Afraid of who I am, what I am. That no one knows but me....and the fact that I don't even know......I hate to admit it.....but that scares me most of all. But since meeting Dawn I don't feel so confused anymore in one way and so confused in the next. Do you know what I mean? Did you feel that with Dad? //I´ve known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I´ve been through the fire and I´ve been through the rain.
But I´ll be fine.// I 'll be fine with her. Nothing can go wrong. Listen to me. I'm talking to death mother. Who is evil and in hell. You don't hear me. Why do I bother? Its stupid. Love, Connor" With that Connor tossed the leter to the floor, and shut his eyes. Within moments he was asleep. Then, something strange happened. A pen lifted itself and started to write... TO BE CONTINUED.
"Have you ever heard a bluetits cry?
Had to wipe a tear from your loved one's eye?
Have you ever laughed with relief?
What about cry or scream or grieve?
Have you ever thought you would die?
Have you ever seen a sky filled with stars?
Ever wondered if you'll ever live on mars?
Have you ever cried at a film?
Been filled with happiness over the brim?
What about a new friendship pledged and try,
To understand someone you hate?
To give them that much needed break?
Have you never done any of these?
Perhaps forgotten to say thank you or please?
Have you ever tryed to know?
If not, are you even alive?" I'm alive. I wasn't really sure before, but I guess now I am. This is my way of saying thankyou. Connor.
//Its been a long road. Getting from there to here. It´s been a long time, but my time is finally near. // Dear Mother, Have you ever had one of those moments in your life were you wonder what its all about? What's the point? And have you ever asked someone this very question? I'm willing to say that most people will have gotten the same answer too. //And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing´s in my way.// Happiness is what we live for. That joy of hearing someone laugh or someone so enthralled in another they love they see no one else. My joy has a name. She's called Dawn. It is an appropriate name too. When you see her, that's what it feels like. The beauty of a dawn, that brightness of a new day. When she smiles, My God, and by the way I do know I shouldn't take the Lords name in vain but I think I am already in heaven when she smiles. It is as simple as that. There is nothing more beautiful in the world that when she is happy, and nothing more painful when she is sad. It makes me feel like the most important person in the world when she's around and cuts me to the bone when we are apart. I don't know what I'd do without her.
//And they´re not gonna hold me down no more, no, they´re not gonna hold me down.// Dad, he's talking about getting a tutor. I know he means well, he always does, but its .embarrassing. Especially around Dawn. I mean, she's really smart and it'll be embarrassing. What do you think I should do? I know I shouldn't be scared but.shes just so different. Out of place yet really in place. Around her, I belong. //I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star.// I feel so out of place sometimes. To quote myself, "I don't remember being lost." Do you remember? Do you know that I think I'm falling in love? It's such weird feeling. Like acrobats jumping without nets, yet no one ever asks about her. When I ask, they go quiet. What's the big secret? //It´s been a long night. Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness.// Everyone is always asking if I'm ok. You wana know how I feel?....I feel confused, like im being pulled in all dirctions so much I don't feel like me because im surrounded by people talking all at once and I don't understand. But at the same time I feel alone, utterly and completely. In the concept of both, i - im confused, and a little afraid. Afraid of who I am, what I am. That no one knows but me....and the fact that I don't even know......I hate to admit it.....but that scares me most of all. But since meeting Dawn I don't feel so confused anymore in one way and so confused in the next. Do you know what I mean? Did you feel that with Dad? //I´ve known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I´ve been through the fire and I´ve been through the rain.
But I´ll be fine.// I 'll be fine with her. Nothing can go wrong. Listen to me. I'm talking to death mother. Who is evil and in hell. You don't hear me. Why do I bother? Its stupid. Love, Connor" With that Connor tossed the leter to the floor, and shut his eyes. Within moments he was asleep. Then, something strange happened. A pen lifted itself and started to write... TO BE CONTINUED.
"Have you ever heard a bluetits cry?
Had to wipe a tear from your loved one's eye?
Have you ever laughed with relief?
What about cry or scream or grieve?
Have you ever thought you would die?
Have you ever seen a sky filled with stars?
Ever wondered if you'll ever live on mars?
Have you ever cried at a film?
Been filled with happiness over the brim?
What about a new friendship pledged and try,
To understand someone you hate?
To give them that much needed break?
Have you never done any of these?
Perhaps forgotten to say thank you or please?
Have you ever tryed to know?
If not, are you even alive?" I'm alive. I wasn't really sure before, but I guess now I am. This is my way of saying thankyou. Connor.
