Drunken Ice Hockey
Response to challenge ~ 1,238 submitted by Heist at Heliopolis:
1. The whole SG crew get involved in one huge ball hockey game, with Danny as one Captain and Jack as the other. (this means ALL the crew) with Teal'c as one goalie and Hammond as the other.
2. After the game, Teal'c and Jack have a drinking contest.
Authors notes: So naturally i said to myself 'i'm gonna make this humor right?' Man i hope so.
Catorgery: Humor, or so i tell people, if u dont find it humorous just call it, jez i dunno, 'light drama' maybe.
Season: Anytime after season 4
Pairings: Jack/Sam, Daniel/Janet.
Discalimer: I own, natta, zip, zero, siltch, squat did-ily-ot.
Notes: Plz, i beg you R n' R, my typing monkey needs something to keep him alive in the passing weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*You make me feel like dancing.*
Came the song (war cry) from one of the observers. A crowd had gathered around the bases' 'new' ice rink, to watch a great battle, mano el mano, boyo el boyo, man to man, boy to boy .... and women, girls ... etc, you get the general idea.
"So Sir,"
Jack looked around, the voice belonged to Dr. Janet Fraiser kitted out in all the bells and whistles, looking rather like a butch Pygmy warrior, war paint an' all. The slighty less sober Colonel spun around on his skates.
"Doc?"
Jack slurred and tried to gain his focus. Janet waved her hand at him, Jack grabed it to steady himself.
"Hey ya, Jan, Jan, Janney, Jan, Jan."
Jack spoke (whilest merrily or drunkenly (that a word?) grinning to himself.) to a particulary spaceous piece of .... space
"Sir, i'm over here."
Janet, grabed Jack by both shoulders to steady him (and herself). She was half plastered herself, well she'd have to be, she'd never let the men and women of the SGC play a match or two of 'Drunken Ice Hockey' (As the Colonel had profoundly named it, taking pride in his naming abilities.) without have being perswayed by Jim, Jack, Jonney Red, Jonney Black and Jose, (the're not Hockey players BTW, try very strong liquors ... south of the boarder). Daniel had been given a good slap on the back by Jack (whilest on Ice wearing Ice Skates this is not advised) for getting Janet, um for lack of better words mentally incapasitated.
"Oh, so you are, would you look at that."
Jack stared over her head, squinting into the horizon, his line of sight was being distracted by the SGC's mascot, one Harry Maybourne dressed up as a Meerkat (A Meerkat!!! how does that fit into the SGC?), Janet pouted (she was obviously as perplexed at the idea of a Meerkat being the SGC's mascot as the rest of us).
"So Colonel."
She did a mock salute, wobling a bit, Jack grabed her arms, feeling an uninevitable attack of the splits coming on they both held on for dear life, but silly ickle things like that wouldn't stop an Air Force Colonel and a well trained Chief Of Medicine, from getting on and having a good ol' chat now would they ..... would they!!!!
"How'd ya' fancy your chances of scoring tonight?"
What a conundrum, Jack frowned.
"With Carter?"
Typical male answer to such a question, Janet thought.
"No Colonel."
Now Janet frowned.
"Huh... well, what then?"
Jack said, still distracted by the now back flipping Maybourne, Jack decided he was going to ask him how he filps ('flips', because this has happened more than this once) so high on such a tiny bar.
"Scoring ... against Daniel's team, Sir."
"Oooooh riiight ..... nah i don't follow."
Jack scratched his helmet, his head being underneath it and all. Janet blinked and skated off, man he can be dense when he wants to be she thought, crashing into the puck that Leiutenant Hailey had carelessly chucked onto the rink. Jack shook his head, his losely fastened head gear falling down on the one side, the buckle poking him in the eye.
"Sir!"
Jack spun round again, the buckle now poking into his other eye, he scrunched his face up in pain. Major Samantha Carter (boy, is her name a space filler) and (for extra kicks in page filling) General George Hammond looked shocked, appauled even at the face the Colonel was pulling at them.
"Oh fine, be that way."
The Major said in a childish manner turning her back to him and joining her team mates in a before game huddle, Jack just simply itched his nose, before not so gracefully skating off to join the others. On the Colonel's team he had, himself (big bonus there), Sam Carter, the General, Feritti and the bases newest edition to the infirmary (putting more people in, than actually curing and sending them back to work) Lucy Knight (not the one who was killed off in ER), Jack wanted her on the team because he liked her, she had style in his eyes, mind you he had been on his 5th 'JackDaniels' at the time of picking the teams. Daniel had gotten a good deal on his squad, he had himself, Janet, Teal'c, Cheveron Guy (come on, you just gotta have a Cheveron guy) and Leiutenant Siller. Both teams where in Pre-game huddles.
"Right kids."
Jack slung his arms around Sam and Lucy, who grinned (she's a true blonde who lives up to the nature of a blonde, which is a true blonde..Ahhh now i've gone and confused myself, but thats enough about me..on with the story) up into his face, what with her being only 5f an all. Jack squeezed one of his arms through into what Feritti had called the 'power ring', and was beginning lose all track of concentration and watch his fingers dance, Hammond kicked him in the Shin (with the 'toe' end, no blood will be shed on my rink ... as the rule book clearly states).
"Son, get on with it."
Jack yelped in pain, hopping about on one foot.
"Ok..."
Rubbing his leg.
"Heres..."
Hopping back and forth on the ice.
"The ... plan ... "
Finally coming to a stand still, he got back into the 'power ring'.
"Ok, Sir your in on the pipe line."
Hammond nodded, not quite understanding the whole conception of being 'on the pipe line' ment.
"Knight ... Feritti you take defending."
"Right."
Chorused the merry two. Sam's eyes danced with excitement, knowing that she was going to get wing attack.
"Ok then good luck team, no rules, regs' or whatever, just get that puck into that ... net ... like ... thing."
He twiddled his index finger trying to recall the name.
"Goal?"
Feritti offered.
"Yeees, 'goal' thats the word i was searching for."
He smiled as he and the others put their hands into the centre of the ring, Sam tapped him on the shoulder, grinning expectantly.
"And ... what about me? ... where do i go?"
Jack took his arm off Lucy, who pulled a grumpy face and hugged her shoulders for warmth, Feritti put an end to her shivers by flinging an extra hockey shirt over her head, it had been hard enough trying to find one to actually fit her small frame .. this one drowned her, hanging down by her knee caps and that was only the sleaves, she shrugged and skated off (very carefully, taking tiny steps) after Feritti, Hammond stood on his own until he realised he was on his own, he shook himself and went to ask about this so called 'pipe line' thingy. Jack wrapped his arm around Sam as they skated, following his (definatly not straight) lead to the half way point.
"Carter Hon."
They both stopped and frowned at his use of the word 'Hon'.
"Your up-front ... with me."
Jack tried pointing to himself only miss calculating his strength and winding himself.
"Sir you ok?"
She swayed back and forth on her heals. He clutched his stomach.
"Yeah."
He gasped for air, reminding Sam of her ickle fishy wishy back home .. oh god she hadd'nt fed him in weeks, that brought a tear to her eye.
"Major?"
Jack asked looking up from his crouched possition, giving Lucy the lovely view of his back side.
"Oh it's nothing Sir .. really its nothing."
Jack smiled and gasped for air once more, Sam broke down.
"Wwwahhhhh noooo my poor fish, i've neglected it for so long, no wonder he never sleeps..... Hes so depressed from not getting any of my affection, Waaaahhhhh, i'm a bad fish keeper, dad always said i should never have pets 'cause i didn't... sniff ... treat... them ... uh, uh, uh, .... well ... enough ..... Wwaaaaa!"
She colasped onto her knees on the ice and hugged herself and began rocking back and forth. Finding no other way to get down to Sam's level Jack literally skated a few steps then deliberatly fell down, shuffeling up to her placing his arm around her.
"Sam."
He looked serious.
"I'm sure ickle fishy wishy (Sam's friends knew how much she loved her pet fish, how she would rush home form work just to visit him.) is fine, he may have a ..... Slight case of starvation, but thats nothing we can't take care of, remember Teal'c's fish Mario, 'member how skinney he was."
Sam nodded.
"Then you should know how chubby the 'lil fella' got when me and T' had that BBQ and put all the left overs into Mario's tank ... remember?"
Sam smiled,
"Yes, i remember,"
She began laughing.
"And.. and then we found out that it was a pike fish, that can go for weeks without eating and then eat anything and everything."
Jack started laughing too.
"Yeah and then it ate me and Teal'c out of house and home."
"Hehe yeah."
Both of their smiles faded.
"And then he got too fat and exploded."
"Hhhhummmmwaaaahhhhhhhhhh"
Jack quickly held Sam tighter.
"Hey ... hey, but that not going to happen to fishy whishy."
"It's.... it's not?"
"Nope."
Jack planted a kiss on Sam's helmet.
"I'm gonna tell Hailey to get over to your house and feed your fish."
"Really?!"
Sam's head shot up, wacking the Colonel in the chin.
"Owwwww.... yes really."
Jack helped her up, Sam gave him a big bear hug.
"Mmmmm thank you Colonel."
She squeezed harder.
"Your ... very ..... welcome ... Major"
Jack sighed with relief as she let go and skated merrily off to the the center half. Now he could begin rubbing his chin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLZ R and R... what did u think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TBC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Response to challenge ~ 1,238 submitted by Heist at Heliopolis:
1. The whole SG crew get involved in one huge ball hockey game, with Danny as one Captain and Jack as the other. (this means ALL the crew) with Teal'c as one goalie and Hammond as the other.
2. After the game, Teal'c and Jack have a drinking contest.
Authors notes: So naturally i said to myself 'i'm gonna make this humor right?' Man i hope so.
Catorgery: Humor, or so i tell people, if u dont find it humorous just call it, jez i dunno, 'light drama' maybe.
Season: Anytime after season 4
Pairings: Jack/Sam, Daniel/Janet.
Discalimer: I own, natta, zip, zero, siltch, squat did-ily-ot.
Notes: Plz, i beg you R n' R, my typing monkey needs something to keep him alive in the passing weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*You make me feel like dancing.*
Came the song (war cry) from one of the observers. A crowd had gathered around the bases' 'new' ice rink, to watch a great battle, mano el mano, boyo el boyo, man to man, boy to boy .... and women, girls ... etc, you get the general idea.
"So Sir,"
Jack looked around, the voice belonged to Dr. Janet Fraiser kitted out in all the bells and whistles, looking rather like a butch Pygmy warrior, war paint an' all. The slighty less sober Colonel spun around on his skates.
"Doc?"
Jack slurred and tried to gain his focus. Janet waved her hand at him, Jack grabed it to steady himself.
"Hey ya, Jan, Jan, Janney, Jan, Jan."
Jack spoke (whilest merrily or drunkenly (that a word?) grinning to himself.) to a particulary spaceous piece of .... space
"Sir, i'm over here."
Janet, grabed Jack by both shoulders to steady him (and herself). She was half plastered herself, well she'd have to be, she'd never let the men and women of the SGC play a match or two of 'Drunken Ice Hockey' (As the Colonel had profoundly named it, taking pride in his naming abilities.) without have being perswayed by Jim, Jack, Jonney Red, Jonney Black and Jose, (the're not Hockey players BTW, try very strong liquors ... south of the boarder). Daniel had been given a good slap on the back by Jack (whilest on Ice wearing Ice Skates this is not advised) for getting Janet, um for lack of better words mentally incapasitated.
"Oh, so you are, would you look at that."
Jack stared over her head, squinting into the horizon, his line of sight was being distracted by the SGC's mascot, one Harry Maybourne dressed up as a Meerkat (A Meerkat!!! how does that fit into the SGC?), Janet pouted (she was obviously as perplexed at the idea of a Meerkat being the SGC's mascot as the rest of us).
"So Colonel."
She did a mock salute, wobling a bit, Jack grabed her arms, feeling an uninevitable attack of the splits coming on they both held on for dear life, but silly ickle things like that wouldn't stop an Air Force Colonel and a well trained Chief Of Medicine, from getting on and having a good ol' chat now would they ..... would they!!!!
"How'd ya' fancy your chances of scoring tonight?"
What a conundrum, Jack frowned.
"With Carter?"
Typical male answer to such a question, Janet thought.
"No Colonel."
Now Janet frowned.
"Huh... well, what then?"
Jack said, still distracted by the now back flipping Maybourne, Jack decided he was going to ask him how he filps ('flips', because this has happened more than this once) so high on such a tiny bar.
"Scoring ... against Daniel's team, Sir."
"Oooooh riiight ..... nah i don't follow."
Jack scratched his helmet, his head being underneath it and all. Janet blinked and skated off, man he can be dense when he wants to be she thought, crashing into the puck that Leiutenant Hailey had carelessly chucked onto the rink. Jack shook his head, his losely fastened head gear falling down on the one side, the buckle poking him in the eye.
"Sir!"
Jack spun round again, the buckle now poking into his other eye, he scrunched his face up in pain. Major Samantha Carter (boy, is her name a space filler) and (for extra kicks in page filling) General George Hammond looked shocked, appauled even at the face the Colonel was pulling at them.
"Oh fine, be that way."
The Major said in a childish manner turning her back to him and joining her team mates in a before game huddle, Jack just simply itched his nose, before not so gracefully skating off to join the others. On the Colonel's team he had, himself (big bonus there), Sam Carter, the General, Feritti and the bases newest edition to the infirmary (putting more people in, than actually curing and sending them back to work) Lucy Knight (not the one who was killed off in ER), Jack wanted her on the team because he liked her, she had style in his eyes, mind you he had been on his 5th 'JackDaniels' at the time of picking the teams. Daniel had gotten a good deal on his squad, he had himself, Janet, Teal'c, Cheveron Guy (come on, you just gotta have a Cheveron guy) and Leiutenant Siller. Both teams where in Pre-game huddles.
"Right kids."
Jack slung his arms around Sam and Lucy, who grinned (she's a true blonde who lives up to the nature of a blonde, which is a true blonde..Ahhh now i've gone and confused myself, but thats enough about me..on with the story) up into his face, what with her being only 5f an all. Jack squeezed one of his arms through into what Feritti had called the 'power ring', and was beginning lose all track of concentration and watch his fingers dance, Hammond kicked him in the Shin (with the 'toe' end, no blood will be shed on my rink ... as the rule book clearly states).
"Son, get on with it."
Jack yelped in pain, hopping about on one foot.
"Ok..."
Rubbing his leg.
"Heres..."
Hopping back and forth on the ice.
"The ... plan ... "
Finally coming to a stand still, he got back into the 'power ring'.
"Ok, Sir your in on the pipe line."
Hammond nodded, not quite understanding the whole conception of being 'on the pipe line' ment.
"Knight ... Feritti you take defending."
"Right."
Chorused the merry two. Sam's eyes danced with excitement, knowing that she was going to get wing attack.
"Ok then good luck team, no rules, regs' or whatever, just get that puck into that ... net ... like ... thing."
He twiddled his index finger trying to recall the name.
"Goal?"
Feritti offered.
"Yeees, 'goal' thats the word i was searching for."
He smiled as he and the others put their hands into the centre of the ring, Sam tapped him on the shoulder, grinning expectantly.
"And ... what about me? ... where do i go?"
Jack took his arm off Lucy, who pulled a grumpy face and hugged her shoulders for warmth, Feritti put an end to her shivers by flinging an extra hockey shirt over her head, it had been hard enough trying to find one to actually fit her small frame .. this one drowned her, hanging down by her knee caps and that was only the sleaves, she shrugged and skated off (very carefully, taking tiny steps) after Feritti, Hammond stood on his own until he realised he was on his own, he shook himself and went to ask about this so called 'pipe line' thingy. Jack wrapped his arm around Sam as they skated, following his (definatly not straight) lead to the half way point.
"Carter Hon."
They both stopped and frowned at his use of the word 'Hon'.
"Your up-front ... with me."
Jack tried pointing to himself only miss calculating his strength and winding himself.
"Sir you ok?"
She swayed back and forth on her heals. He clutched his stomach.
"Yeah."
He gasped for air, reminding Sam of her ickle fishy wishy back home .. oh god she hadd'nt fed him in weeks, that brought a tear to her eye.
"Major?"
Jack asked looking up from his crouched possition, giving Lucy the lovely view of his back side.
"Oh it's nothing Sir .. really its nothing."
Jack smiled and gasped for air once more, Sam broke down.
"Wwwahhhhh noooo my poor fish, i've neglected it for so long, no wonder he never sleeps..... Hes so depressed from not getting any of my affection, Waaaahhhhh, i'm a bad fish keeper, dad always said i should never have pets 'cause i didn't... sniff ... treat... them ... uh, uh, uh, .... well ... enough ..... Wwaaaaa!"
She colasped onto her knees on the ice and hugged herself and began rocking back and forth. Finding no other way to get down to Sam's level Jack literally skated a few steps then deliberatly fell down, shuffeling up to her placing his arm around her.
"Sam."
He looked serious.
"I'm sure ickle fishy wishy (Sam's friends knew how much she loved her pet fish, how she would rush home form work just to visit him.) is fine, he may have a ..... Slight case of starvation, but thats nothing we can't take care of, remember Teal'c's fish Mario, 'member how skinney he was."
Sam nodded.
"Then you should know how chubby the 'lil fella' got when me and T' had that BBQ and put all the left overs into Mario's tank ... remember?"
Sam smiled,
"Yes, i remember,"
She began laughing.
"And.. and then we found out that it was a pike fish, that can go for weeks without eating and then eat anything and everything."
Jack started laughing too.
"Yeah and then it ate me and Teal'c out of house and home."
"Hehe yeah."
Both of their smiles faded.
"And then he got too fat and exploded."
"Hhhhummmmwaaaahhhhhhhhhh"
Jack quickly held Sam tighter.
"Hey ... hey, but that not going to happen to fishy whishy."
"It's.... it's not?"
"Nope."
Jack planted a kiss on Sam's helmet.
"I'm gonna tell Hailey to get over to your house and feed your fish."
"Really?!"
Sam's head shot up, wacking the Colonel in the chin.
"Owwwww.... yes really."
Jack helped her up, Sam gave him a big bear hug.
"Mmmmm thank you Colonel."
She squeezed harder.
"Your ... very ..... welcome ... Major"
Jack sighed with relief as she let go and skated merrily off to the the center half. Now he could begin rubbing his chin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLZ R and R... what did u think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TBC~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
