Chapter 30
After lunch, Tally had been showing off her ring to all the women and girls she could find and jabber excitedly about the fact she was getting married. Everyone agreed that she was indeed truly blessed with eternal happiness in the long-term, despite the short-term arguments they may have. Tally began to miss Legolas after a couple of hours. She went to look for him, trying to feel out for his feelings. All she felt was his pain and anguish. She found him in the garden they had gone to after he asked her to marry him, sitting on the same bench, staring into space. Tally sat down beside him, not disturbing his thoughts, she would wait for him to say something.
It took what must have been an hour or two before Legolas spoke, at least it seemed that way to Tally, "I suppose you want to talk about it."
"Legolas, I know something is wrong and you know that I can sense it. I just want to help you."
"Tally, the only reason you had to stay here after you arrived was for your protection. Your house was being watched and they would have killed you or worse. You had to stay here or be killed, so you stayed here. But now, there is nothing to kill you. You could go home. You must want to. You lived there all your life. The people you knew are there. Tally, you work is there. I can't ask you to give that up. You said it was your life's questions about to be answered. Don't you want to know? It's there, back in your old life, in your flat, the one you worked so hard to get just right. You could go back anytime you wanted, we'd just have to take you there. It's not more than a few days' journey as you know. And..."
"Legolas stop! You're talking absolute nonsense. Why would I want to leave? How could I leave all this? How could I leave you?" she reached out to take his hand but Legolas refused to let her
"Natalia," Legolas' voice quavered here, he was trying to hold back his emotions, "you will never be happy here. The things you are without, the things you will never have again. You cannot deprive yourself the things that you have been surrounded with all your life. I do not want you to think you have to stay here. You have the choice to go. Just go soon for my sake." And with that Legolas walked up and left leaving Tally stunned.
She sat there for hours. She had not thought about the possibility of leaving the Sanctuary before. The thought was tempting, though. Back in her flat, back at work, back talking to the people she knew. Tally went through all the things she missed in her head, smiling to herself. But not matter how many people she was with, she'd be alone, because she would be without Legolas. She looked at the ring on her finger, the union of the two Kingdoms, of two hearts, two souls. Tally began to weep. It felt like he wanted her to go away and he was making up her mind for her. All the ideas were spinning round in her head, the only thing to do when her mind was like this was to write them down, then she could give all her thoughts to Legolas and he'd understand. Tally sighed as she realised she could never do that in Sindarin, and Legolas couldn't read English. Tally needed someone to write for her, she went to find Kaelira.
Kaelira was with Ghilad and a few other of their friends. Tally approached them, "Excuse me everyone, Kaelira, could I borrow you for a while? I need a favour." Kaelira stood and curtseyed,
"Of course, my lady. I shall do anything I can to assist you."
"Kaelira, we are friends, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Tally?"
"I am sorry.. Tally. What is it you'd like me to do for you?"
"Can we go somewhere else, it's private?" Tally led Kaelira back to her room and sat her down at her table. "Kaelira, I need to write a letter to Legolas, but I cannot write in runes and he cannot read my language. Could I please dictate it to you so he could read it. It may take some time and I may change my mind half way through or something, but please this is really important. I trust you to keep all this a secret, you're my friend Kaelira. Please do this for me?" Tally pleaded with her
"Tally, as your friend, I will never refuse your request for help. What would you like me to do?"
"There is paper in the drawer there, and a pen on the desk. Thank you, Kaelira. I really appreciate this."
And this is the final version of what Tally and Kaelira wrote to Legolas.
My dear Legolas,
Kaelira is writing this at my instruction. I think everything will be easier to explain if you read it, I won't stutter or cry when I try and say it all. My Sindarin isn't up to writing this myself quite yet.
When you asked me today if I wanted to leave, it was something I'd never considered before. I would have the chance to go back to my work and find my purpose, answer my questions. I could fit right back in with my friends and colleagues and work, go back to my old routine.
Today I sat for hours and thought of this, and I would be lying if I said I did not miss all these things. The smell diesel engines, the human comforts this world lacks - TV, film, computers, the food I don't have here. There are some things even the beauty and hospitality of the Sanctuary cannot make up for.
Do you remember when I first arrived and Ghilad asked me what made me tick and I said that I needed to find my purpose, why I belonged to this world? Legolas, I had an epiphany today, a moment of realisation when everything clicks into place and the world finally bursts into Technicolor. I know why I am here. I am here to lead my people, to love and to be loved. I could never do that if I left here. All my life I have been looking for my path, and unexpectedly I finally find it, and the first thing you do is try and push me off I, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared to stand up and walk my path tall and proud, I can do that alone or with you. Our paths are running together, but it appears we have come to a crossroads. You can either turn off it and I will carry on, or together we can make that decision to walk the more dangerous path together. That path is dangerous and filled with pot-holes to try and trap you, but four eyes are better than two. We can look out for each other. Isn't that love? The will to protect and care for each other till the end? What happens to us if the path leads us to Mount Doom Legolas? I leave that decision to you. I love you, know that.
Tally
"It is a good letter. I shall take it to him now."
"Thank you Kaelira. I really appreciate this, you are a true friend." Said Tally
"You are welcome Tally." Kaelira smiled as she called the Queen by her nickname, "He loves you I am sure, it will all work out in the end." Kaelira left and Tally wandered to her music room. She decided to sit and play and pray Legolas came to find her. He should know she would be here.
After lunch, Tally had been showing off her ring to all the women and girls she could find and jabber excitedly about the fact she was getting married. Everyone agreed that she was indeed truly blessed with eternal happiness in the long-term, despite the short-term arguments they may have. Tally began to miss Legolas after a couple of hours. She went to look for him, trying to feel out for his feelings. All she felt was his pain and anguish. She found him in the garden they had gone to after he asked her to marry him, sitting on the same bench, staring into space. Tally sat down beside him, not disturbing his thoughts, she would wait for him to say something.
It took what must have been an hour or two before Legolas spoke, at least it seemed that way to Tally, "I suppose you want to talk about it."
"Legolas, I know something is wrong and you know that I can sense it. I just want to help you."
"Tally, the only reason you had to stay here after you arrived was for your protection. Your house was being watched and they would have killed you or worse. You had to stay here or be killed, so you stayed here. But now, there is nothing to kill you. You could go home. You must want to. You lived there all your life. The people you knew are there. Tally, you work is there. I can't ask you to give that up. You said it was your life's questions about to be answered. Don't you want to know? It's there, back in your old life, in your flat, the one you worked so hard to get just right. You could go back anytime you wanted, we'd just have to take you there. It's not more than a few days' journey as you know. And..."
"Legolas stop! You're talking absolute nonsense. Why would I want to leave? How could I leave all this? How could I leave you?" she reached out to take his hand but Legolas refused to let her
"Natalia," Legolas' voice quavered here, he was trying to hold back his emotions, "you will never be happy here. The things you are without, the things you will never have again. You cannot deprive yourself the things that you have been surrounded with all your life. I do not want you to think you have to stay here. You have the choice to go. Just go soon for my sake." And with that Legolas walked up and left leaving Tally stunned.
She sat there for hours. She had not thought about the possibility of leaving the Sanctuary before. The thought was tempting, though. Back in her flat, back at work, back talking to the people she knew. Tally went through all the things she missed in her head, smiling to herself. But not matter how many people she was with, she'd be alone, because she would be without Legolas. She looked at the ring on her finger, the union of the two Kingdoms, of two hearts, two souls. Tally began to weep. It felt like he wanted her to go away and he was making up her mind for her. All the ideas were spinning round in her head, the only thing to do when her mind was like this was to write them down, then she could give all her thoughts to Legolas and he'd understand. Tally sighed as she realised she could never do that in Sindarin, and Legolas couldn't read English. Tally needed someone to write for her, she went to find Kaelira.
Kaelira was with Ghilad and a few other of their friends. Tally approached them, "Excuse me everyone, Kaelira, could I borrow you for a while? I need a favour." Kaelira stood and curtseyed,
"Of course, my lady. I shall do anything I can to assist you."
"Kaelira, we are friends, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Tally?"
"I am sorry.. Tally. What is it you'd like me to do for you?"
"Can we go somewhere else, it's private?" Tally led Kaelira back to her room and sat her down at her table. "Kaelira, I need to write a letter to Legolas, but I cannot write in runes and he cannot read my language. Could I please dictate it to you so he could read it. It may take some time and I may change my mind half way through or something, but please this is really important. I trust you to keep all this a secret, you're my friend Kaelira. Please do this for me?" Tally pleaded with her
"Tally, as your friend, I will never refuse your request for help. What would you like me to do?"
"There is paper in the drawer there, and a pen on the desk. Thank you, Kaelira. I really appreciate this."
And this is the final version of what Tally and Kaelira wrote to Legolas.
My dear Legolas,
Kaelira is writing this at my instruction. I think everything will be easier to explain if you read it, I won't stutter or cry when I try and say it all. My Sindarin isn't up to writing this myself quite yet.
When you asked me today if I wanted to leave, it was something I'd never considered before. I would have the chance to go back to my work and find my purpose, answer my questions. I could fit right back in with my friends and colleagues and work, go back to my old routine.
Today I sat for hours and thought of this, and I would be lying if I said I did not miss all these things. The smell diesel engines, the human comforts this world lacks - TV, film, computers, the food I don't have here. There are some things even the beauty and hospitality of the Sanctuary cannot make up for.
Do you remember when I first arrived and Ghilad asked me what made me tick and I said that I needed to find my purpose, why I belonged to this world? Legolas, I had an epiphany today, a moment of realisation when everything clicks into place and the world finally bursts into Technicolor. I know why I am here. I am here to lead my people, to love and to be loved. I could never do that if I left here. All my life I have been looking for my path, and unexpectedly I finally find it, and the first thing you do is try and push me off I, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared to stand up and walk my path tall and proud, I can do that alone or with you. Our paths are running together, but it appears we have come to a crossroads. You can either turn off it and I will carry on, or together we can make that decision to walk the more dangerous path together. That path is dangerous and filled with pot-holes to try and trap you, but four eyes are better than two. We can look out for each other. Isn't that love? The will to protect and care for each other till the end? What happens to us if the path leads us to Mount Doom Legolas? I leave that decision to you. I love you, know that.
Tally
"It is a good letter. I shall take it to him now."
"Thank you Kaelira. I really appreciate this, you are a true friend." Said Tally
"You are welcome Tally." Kaelira smiled as she called the Queen by her nickname, "He loves you I am sure, it will all work out in the end." Kaelira left and Tally wandered to her music room. She decided to sit and play and pray Legolas came to find her. He should know she would be here.
