Chapter Eleven:
Releasing a sigh, Leon climbed off his motorcycle and up the steps of the lanai at the back of the house. The front of Chris' house had a perfectly nice vestibule, but for some reason, everyone felt compelled to enter the house from the back door. Pulling out the key that Chris had given him, he opened the door and stepped into the house. To his surprise, the light drone of the television set greeted him instead of the dead silence that had been his companion for the past two days. Heading for the living room, he saw Claire sitting on the couch, staring at a rerun of 'Gilligan's Island'. He said staring, because that was what she was doing. Her eyes were on the screen, but that was all. Her attention was obviously elsewhere.
Clearing his throat loudly, he stepped forward and Claire turned her head.
Her lips lifted into a tiny smile and she sat up a little straighter. "Hey."
Leon was surprised at how fragile and delicate her voice sounded, as if her vocal cords were rare glass that would shatter if she spoke too loudly.
"How are you?" he asked, sitting down beside her, but not too closely.
"I'm okay. How long was I asleep?" she asked him, tucking her legs beneath her.
"Two days." He supplied.
"It feels like two years." Claire replied, she avoided his eyes as she started to flip the channels. "How was your day?"
"All right. My boss is really impressed with all that I've done. All the people who half-assed it before I came along, are now vying for the chance to be employee of the month."
"Leon the Motivator." Claire said, smiling a little wider now. "Maybe some of that determination will rub off on me."
Leon took the remote from her when she landed on 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'.
"You're plenty determined with or without me." Leon said.
"Yeah...for lack of anything to do, I've slept for the past two days. Real determination." She sighed and Leon was shocked by her callous remark. "Wasn't I ever creative?"
"Sure you were." He said. "You just need to start over."
Nodding slightly, she stood up and headed back for the bedroom.
"Going back to sleep?" he asked, wondering why she seemed so distant.
"I have nothing better to do." Claire replied over her shoulder. "It's not like I'm missing anything."
Her last comment made Leon freeze. This definitely was not Claire Redfield behavior. It could be some expected down time, though, so he decided to leave it alone and see how she progressed the next couple of days. He turned the TV off and stood up, he wasn't really in the mood for any comedy at the moment.
Down time, Leon realized a few days later, was expected. Depression wasn't. It was one week later, and Claire still didn't seem to have made any real attempt at happiness. She slept most of the time, watched TV and had monosyllabic conversations with him five minutes out of the day. He was really beginning to get concerned.
One day, after work, he called up the doctor that had seen Claire and asked if prolonged dejection was one of the side effects of the sedative that they had given her. Dr. Stadler had seemed surprised and said that there WAS some expected moodiness and apprehension, but nothing very severe, and it would only last three days--tops.
"Do you have any idea of what went on prior to the attack?" Dr. Stadler had asked him over the phone.
"No. I haven't been able to speak with her about that." Leon replied, then, thinking about Steve, replied, "She did seem to be under a lot of stress, though."
"Maybe you should find out." He suggested. "Previous anxieties could have something to do with it."
Now, he was cowering outside Claire's shut door, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. What was he supposed to do? Breeze in and demand that she speak to him? Knock and then trip over himself like some stupid little kid? Finally, he raised his hand to knock and after a few moments, "Come in." was the reply.
Opening the door, he peeked into the room and found Claire sitting Indian style on the bed, in front of her was a large blue album and a camera.
"Hello." He greeted with a smile.
"Hello." Was the dismal reply.
Not feeling discouraged, he sat down on the bed and glanced down. "What are these?"
"Just pictures that I took for my photography classes." Claire replied, then she laughed and some brightness returned to her dark, gray eyes. "God, was I this sophomoric?"
Leon shrugged, "They're great."
"They're jejune." She declared passionately, but was pleased with his comment. "I was looking through the attic because I remembered I left some of my stuff here with Chris. I found a trunk full of cameras and tripods and unused film--I'd almost forgotten about them." she sighed and turned the page. "Hmm, look at Chris."
Leon looked at the picture she was indicating and laughed out loud. "The Chris Redfield 'Ganster Pose'. Where is that at?"
"The Winchester Mansion in San Jose." Claire replied. "That was just before we went in to take the tour. He was trying to act cool because there was this girl who was checking him out, but check out the picture below it."
He checked it out and then laughed again.
"He leaned too far over the railing and fell head first to the ground." Claire said, smiling.
She handed the album to him and he began to look through all of the pages, admiring the sharpness of each picture. She really did have talent. The pictures she took were clear and in focus and breath-taking.
"Claire, I have to say that these are truly and honestly great. You should take another shot at this photography thing." He told her.
"Yeah, well, maybe..." Claire said, glancing at the camera in front of her as if she were afraid to touch it. "Do you think I was crazy?"
"Huh?" Leon asked, looking up from a picture of the grand canyon at sunset.
"Was I crazy for staying with Steve?" she repeated, looking directly at him.
So much for trying to pry anything out of her.
"I think you were a little... confused by what you wanted from yourself--but everyone makes mistakes." He said, wondering if that was a good thing to say.
"But you never really see their mistakes, do you?" she asked curiously. "It seems like they're perfect."
"Well, no one is, Claire."
Claire was silent for a moment before she began to pick at the bedsheets.
"I know that..." she closed her eyes tightly as if she were about to make some great, world-shattering confession. "...I was a virgin until I met Steve."
Leon almost dropped the album but he quickly dove to catch it. "W-what?"
"Steve was my first and only." Claire repeated, not really seeming as if she were there. "I was only twenty, I felt like I was such an adult...now, for some reason, I feel like I was just a baby..."
"Twenty is far from being a baby, Claire." Leon said.
"I know that." She replied with a sigh. "It's just that...I felt that I was waiting too long, but now...It's like I wasn't waiting long enough--I suddenly wish that I had waited even longer."
Leon laughed softly. "God, Claire. What did you want to be--a nun?"
"I wouldn't have qualified for sainthood." Claire replied with a wry smile. "No... I wasn't trying to be a nun... I just wish I could have held onto my self-respect just a little longer."
Claire began to sniffle as tears fell from her eyes. "Look at me--I can't even touch my damn camera because I'm too afraid I've forgotten how to take pictures. I'm so stupid." She gripped her hair with her hands then immediately looked up, as if she just realized something. "I can't do it. I--I've been isolated from everything too long."
"Look, don't say that." Leon said, becoming upset. "Stop saying that--you are NOT stupid, Claire. You are very intelligent and you can do anything you set your mind to. You just got to stop thinking negatively and start thinking like the old Claire Redfield. If you can't do that, you might as well just lay on the sidewalk--it's obvious that's where you want to be right now."
Rewind! Leon thought frantically. He wanted to eat what he just said. He wanted to take all of those words back and stuff them in the back of his mind where they would disintigrate and never be seen or heard again. Claire looked as if she had just swallowed a fly and she stared at him with blank, hurt eyes. When she reverted her eyes to her hands, Leon began to apologize.
"I'm sorry--"
"No, no, you're right." Claire said, looking out the window. "You're absolutely, one-hundred percent right. I need to pull myself together." she sighed distraughtly and looked at him pleadingly. "But how can I do that?"
Leon took her hand in his and smiled. "I'll help you."
Claire smiled and actually managed a small laugh before their gazes locked. Leon's lips parted but he completely forgot what he was about to say. Claire seemed to be doing the same thing, her mouth opened and closed five times before she shook her head and broke their eye contact.
"So, um, ahem." She cleared her throat, obviously trying to brush off their moment. She picked up the camera in front of her and raised it up. "Let's see if I still remember how this works..."
Releasing a sigh, Leon climbed off his motorcycle and up the steps of the lanai at the back of the house. The front of Chris' house had a perfectly nice vestibule, but for some reason, everyone felt compelled to enter the house from the back door. Pulling out the key that Chris had given him, he opened the door and stepped into the house. To his surprise, the light drone of the television set greeted him instead of the dead silence that had been his companion for the past two days. Heading for the living room, he saw Claire sitting on the couch, staring at a rerun of 'Gilligan's Island'. He said staring, because that was what she was doing. Her eyes were on the screen, but that was all. Her attention was obviously elsewhere.
Clearing his throat loudly, he stepped forward and Claire turned her head.
Her lips lifted into a tiny smile and she sat up a little straighter. "Hey."
Leon was surprised at how fragile and delicate her voice sounded, as if her vocal cords were rare glass that would shatter if she spoke too loudly.
"How are you?" he asked, sitting down beside her, but not too closely.
"I'm okay. How long was I asleep?" she asked him, tucking her legs beneath her.
"Two days." He supplied.
"It feels like two years." Claire replied, she avoided his eyes as she started to flip the channels. "How was your day?"
"All right. My boss is really impressed with all that I've done. All the people who half-assed it before I came along, are now vying for the chance to be employee of the month."
"Leon the Motivator." Claire said, smiling a little wider now. "Maybe some of that determination will rub off on me."
Leon took the remote from her when she landed on 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'.
"You're plenty determined with or without me." Leon said.
"Yeah...for lack of anything to do, I've slept for the past two days. Real determination." She sighed and Leon was shocked by her callous remark. "Wasn't I ever creative?"
"Sure you were." He said. "You just need to start over."
Nodding slightly, she stood up and headed back for the bedroom.
"Going back to sleep?" he asked, wondering why she seemed so distant.
"I have nothing better to do." Claire replied over her shoulder. "It's not like I'm missing anything."
Her last comment made Leon freeze. This definitely was not Claire Redfield behavior. It could be some expected down time, though, so he decided to leave it alone and see how she progressed the next couple of days. He turned the TV off and stood up, he wasn't really in the mood for any comedy at the moment.
Down time, Leon realized a few days later, was expected. Depression wasn't. It was one week later, and Claire still didn't seem to have made any real attempt at happiness. She slept most of the time, watched TV and had monosyllabic conversations with him five minutes out of the day. He was really beginning to get concerned.
One day, after work, he called up the doctor that had seen Claire and asked if prolonged dejection was one of the side effects of the sedative that they had given her. Dr. Stadler had seemed surprised and said that there WAS some expected moodiness and apprehension, but nothing very severe, and it would only last three days--tops.
"Do you have any idea of what went on prior to the attack?" Dr. Stadler had asked him over the phone.
"No. I haven't been able to speak with her about that." Leon replied, then, thinking about Steve, replied, "She did seem to be under a lot of stress, though."
"Maybe you should find out." He suggested. "Previous anxieties could have something to do with it."
Now, he was cowering outside Claire's shut door, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. What was he supposed to do? Breeze in and demand that she speak to him? Knock and then trip over himself like some stupid little kid? Finally, he raised his hand to knock and after a few moments, "Come in." was the reply.
Opening the door, he peeked into the room and found Claire sitting Indian style on the bed, in front of her was a large blue album and a camera.
"Hello." He greeted with a smile.
"Hello." Was the dismal reply.
Not feeling discouraged, he sat down on the bed and glanced down. "What are these?"
"Just pictures that I took for my photography classes." Claire replied, then she laughed and some brightness returned to her dark, gray eyes. "God, was I this sophomoric?"
Leon shrugged, "They're great."
"They're jejune." She declared passionately, but was pleased with his comment. "I was looking through the attic because I remembered I left some of my stuff here with Chris. I found a trunk full of cameras and tripods and unused film--I'd almost forgotten about them." she sighed and turned the page. "Hmm, look at Chris."
Leon looked at the picture she was indicating and laughed out loud. "The Chris Redfield 'Ganster Pose'. Where is that at?"
"The Winchester Mansion in San Jose." Claire replied. "That was just before we went in to take the tour. He was trying to act cool because there was this girl who was checking him out, but check out the picture below it."
He checked it out and then laughed again.
"He leaned too far over the railing and fell head first to the ground." Claire said, smiling.
She handed the album to him and he began to look through all of the pages, admiring the sharpness of each picture. She really did have talent. The pictures she took were clear and in focus and breath-taking.
"Claire, I have to say that these are truly and honestly great. You should take another shot at this photography thing." He told her.
"Yeah, well, maybe..." Claire said, glancing at the camera in front of her as if she were afraid to touch it. "Do you think I was crazy?"
"Huh?" Leon asked, looking up from a picture of the grand canyon at sunset.
"Was I crazy for staying with Steve?" she repeated, looking directly at him.
So much for trying to pry anything out of her.
"I think you were a little... confused by what you wanted from yourself--but everyone makes mistakes." He said, wondering if that was a good thing to say.
"But you never really see their mistakes, do you?" she asked curiously. "It seems like they're perfect."
"Well, no one is, Claire."
Claire was silent for a moment before she began to pick at the bedsheets.
"I know that..." she closed her eyes tightly as if she were about to make some great, world-shattering confession. "...I was a virgin until I met Steve."
Leon almost dropped the album but he quickly dove to catch it. "W-what?"
"Steve was my first and only." Claire repeated, not really seeming as if she were there. "I was only twenty, I felt like I was such an adult...now, for some reason, I feel like I was just a baby..."
"Twenty is far from being a baby, Claire." Leon said.
"I know that." She replied with a sigh. "It's just that...I felt that I was waiting too long, but now...It's like I wasn't waiting long enough--I suddenly wish that I had waited even longer."
Leon laughed softly. "God, Claire. What did you want to be--a nun?"
"I wouldn't have qualified for sainthood." Claire replied with a wry smile. "No... I wasn't trying to be a nun... I just wish I could have held onto my self-respect just a little longer."
Claire began to sniffle as tears fell from her eyes. "Look at me--I can't even touch my damn camera because I'm too afraid I've forgotten how to take pictures. I'm so stupid." She gripped her hair with her hands then immediately looked up, as if she just realized something. "I can't do it. I--I've been isolated from everything too long."
"Look, don't say that." Leon said, becoming upset. "Stop saying that--you are NOT stupid, Claire. You are very intelligent and you can do anything you set your mind to. You just got to stop thinking negatively and start thinking like the old Claire Redfield. If you can't do that, you might as well just lay on the sidewalk--it's obvious that's where you want to be right now."
Rewind! Leon thought frantically. He wanted to eat what he just said. He wanted to take all of those words back and stuff them in the back of his mind where they would disintigrate and never be seen or heard again. Claire looked as if she had just swallowed a fly and she stared at him with blank, hurt eyes. When she reverted her eyes to her hands, Leon began to apologize.
"I'm sorry--"
"No, no, you're right." Claire said, looking out the window. "You're absolutely, one-hundred percent right. I need to pull myself together." she sighed distraughtly and looked at him pleadingly. "But how can I do that?"
Leon took her hand in his and smiled. "I'll help you."
Claire smiled and actually managed a small laugh before their gazes locked. Leon's lips parted but he completely forgot what he was about to say. Claire seemed to be doing the same thing, her mouth opened and closed five times before she shook her head and broke their eye contact.
"So, um, ahem." She cleared her throat, obviously trying to brush off their moment. She picked up the camera in front of her and raised it up. "Let's see if I still remember how this works..."
