2. Fool's Journey
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Disclaimer: I own nothing. Repeat, nothing.
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"A moment is a living thing, possessing it's own identity and meaning. Not only does a moment have particular qualities, but it has a past and a future which belong under the general umbrella of those qualities. There are situations and choices in the past which have led up to that moment, and of which that moment is the consequence." – The Mythic Tarot
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"Afraid of opening my deepest
Thoughts to you
I hid them in a jar and
Pushed away your love
I wonder if you knew"
-The Tuesdays, Gone With The Wind
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Draco eyed her warily.
Instead of just walking past her as he had at that moment in the past, he seemed to pause, and actually look at her – but how could he not? She was near sobbing and shaking like a leaf.
"What's wrong? Are you sick?" He took a step towards her and raised a hand to brush the hair from his eyes. "For God's sake, woman, don't cry."
Typical Draco – he made it sound like an order instead of a request.
Ginny could only continue to stare at him, both amazed that she was actually there, and terrified of what she was feeling at the sight of him felt her heart fall to her feet as Draco started towards her. She scared to move, afraid that she'd do something that would affect the future in a negative way.
She closed her eyes momentarily, thinking back on this wish she'd made – so this was it then.
This was the point in time when she'd made her mistake.
"Ginny?"
She gazed back at Draco, knowing there was a touch of awe in her eyes as she looked at him. He really was there.
God, had it really been all her fault?
Was this it? Was she supposed to work things out with him? Had she made some crucial decision here?
"Ginny, what is it?" He was standing right in front of her, one hand raising to her cheek – she couldn't stop staring at him. Her eyes touched on the redness on his own cheek, and remembered with a startled breath that she'd hauled off and slapped him moments earlier.
She'd forgotten about that.
"I – I'm sorry I hit you," she heard herself say in a tight, husky voice. And she was sorry. Especially with the knowledge of what would happen to him in the future if she couldn't change things.
She only had one chance, and she didn't know what to do –
Draco was staring at her speculatively. "You're sorry?" He withdrew his hand from her tear stained cheek, crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "First you slug me, then you act like I'm going to flay you alive – what's going on? One minute you're going on about Potter, and the next you're crying like there's no tomorrow and apologizing and staring at me as if you were some stupid Muggle seeing a ghost for the first time – " he clamped his mouth shut. He seemed to realize he was rambling, and Draco did not ramble.
Ginny knew he was waiting for her to say something, but she didn't know what to say.
"D-did - do you love me?"
She definitely hadn't meant to ask that!
Draco just rolled his eyes and made a frustrated growling noise. "I give up! You are bloody blind!"
When he made as if to shoulder past her, she finally moved and put a hand on his arm.
"You did. You really did." She said wonderingly. "You did care." Those feelings she'd gotten – she had thought about them later, breifly, thinking maybe she'd known, subconsciously that he'd been trying to tell her something -
But why had he betrayed her? Had he realized she really was in love with Harry, and done it in reflex? Had he done it to hurt her for not loving him, instead?
"Were you that hurt?" She murmured out loud to herself. Then she realized she'd said almost the very same words to Draco that Harry had said to her on the stairs that night.
"Did I hurt you that badly?"
He had. So badly that she'd deliberately gone and tried to hurt him back…
Was she supposed to have gotten together with Draco?
But Harry -
"Gin, what are you going on about in that head of yours?" Draco sighed boredly above her. "You look as if you're almost ready to cast up the accounts, if you know what I mean."
Ginny found herself smiling at him. How had she missed it? It was right there, practically screaming at her! She could see it now, in his eyes, behind the coldness of his expression.
She really had been innocent.
Draco Malfoy had been in love with her.
And she'd been blind to it, just as he'd said – but she'd had feelings for him too, else she wouldn't have reacted like she had that day in the library, felt so betrayed, and instinctively turned to Harry that night…for comfort. Was that all it had been?
The truth hit her, and the tears began again. She'd been a stupid young girl, immature and foolish, clinging to dreams of Harry Potter – and Draco had been right there.
"Damn it!" She cursed out loud. Had she caused it all? Sirius's abduction, Ron's death, Draco's resulting conviction, Harry's disappearance? It was hard to believe that she could have made one mistake that had affected so many others in such a catastrophic way.
Maybe Harry had been right…
"Ginny – "
She looked up at Draco angrily. It wasn't his fault, really but – "Why did you have to be so damned proud? Why couldn't you have just come out and said the ruddy words? I was a sixteen year old girl – what the hell did you have to be so nervous about?"
"Okay, see, now you're just talking crazy," Draco snapped back, his voice lacking it's usual lazy cadence. His high, sharp cheekbones suddenly seemed flushed, his eyes fierce. "Speaking in the past tense – "
"Yeah, well you're the one blushing!" Ginny shot back, trying not to smile, raising a hand to scrub at the wetness on her cheeks.
She watched his jaw tighten, and then his hands were on her shoulders, pushing her into the wall, his arms bracing on either side of her.
"I do not blush," he bit off, his face inches from hers.
Ginny looked deeply into his eyes, for the first time, seeing that his eyes really weren't all silver, but a soft, barely noticeable blue gray, with daggers of pale silver shooting through the centers.
She listened closely to his breathing, which was somewhat ragged, and again noticed things she hadn't seen before, in her inexperience. He was so tense his muscles were nearly trembling.
He was nervous, she thought in disbelief.
"Just say it," she whispered, staring back at him steadily.
Draco's eyes widened, and he seemed to withdraw into himself slightly.
"You have to give a little here," she told him softly. "I'm not a bloody mind reader, you know. Say it."
"Sod off," he muttered darkly, and began to move away.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and trapped him. "No, not that."
"Let me go Weasley – "
Ginny shook her head. "Not that either."
"You're insane – "
"Definitely not that." She trailed her fingers through the hair at his nape, and watched his eyes go soft, which had to be some kind of miracle.
"Don't touch my hair," he tried to say sternly, bringing up his hands to tug her wrists away.
"What? Do you mean like this?" She used her fingertips to massage the hard knot of muscles there, and he seemed to melt a bit.
"Stop it," he breathed roughly, closing his eyes, his lips inches from hers. "You're messing it up."
"You love it – stop lying," Ginny said back, unable to believe she'd had this power over him all along and hadn't even known it.
"Please Draco…Just say it."
He took a deep breath, lowered his head, and kissed her.
The sudden leap her heart made in her chest at the contact was so painful she actually thought for a second it might kill her.
How could she have forgotten this?
What's more, how could she have walked away from it, even if had been acting like a rat?
She closed her eyes and leaned into him. His lips were soft and warm, and she shivered in reaction – his hands dropped from her wrists to wrap his arms around her waist and draw her to him in an embrace.
Soft, silky strands of his hair brushed against her cheeks and jaw, and she was so lost in the sensation of being near him that she nearly missed it, his barely there whisper against her lips.
"I love you, Ginny."
She caught her breath, and then opened her eyes and watched him as he stepped away from her.
He'd actually said it.
Draco ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to straighten it, and snarled at her.
"Are you happy now?"
Ginny smiled at him and crossed her arms, leaning against the wall.
"Almost."
He gave her a dirty look and stalked away.
Ginny waited for a moment, and called after him, "I'll see you at breakfast."
He mumbled something irritably under his breath, and disappeared hastily around a corner.
Ginny took a deep breath and turned to enter Gryffindor tower.
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She was pacing in front of the fire when Harry, Ron, and Hermione finally entered later that evening. Ginny was glad they'd taken so long n coming up from dinner – it had given her a chance to try and reacclimatize herself.
She had tried to prepare herself to see the two boys again, but she still found herself tearing up when they walked through the portrait entrance, Ron laughing at something Harry was saying.
She was also unprepared for the look of vehement dislike her brother gave her when she hurried up to meet them.
"What do you want?" Ron asked scathingly as she stopped before them.
"Can I talk to you guys – in private?" She asked, feeling sick to her stomach with nerves. She knew she had to tell them something, but what? About the future? About her wish?
It seemed so far away, now…
Hermione looked hopeful, while Harry broke into a hesitant smile and Ron only snorted and gave her a mistrustful look that clearly stated, 'traitor'.
"Please?" Ginny gave Ron her best sad little sister look, and watched him break, biting back a gleeful smile, and barely keeping herself from grabbing both boys and hugging them to bits.
It was so good to see them again…
"Aw'right," Ron muttered gruffly, shucking off his backpack onto the floor with a thud. He scratched his head, and narrowed his blue eyes. "But you better have one hell of an excuse."
Hermione smiled at Ginny, and turned back towards the entrance. "The library should be empty this time of night – "
"Not as empty as you might think," Ginny muttered under her breath as she walked behind them, wondering if Draco would be there, and exactly what she was going tell them.
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TBC
(A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter, guys – I know this is confusing, but I'm hoping it makes sense. It should be pretty interesting to see Ginny retracing her steps, and to see what she does differently compared to what she did originally. Hopefully, you'll think it's interesting, too, lol. Thanks for the encouragement. ~ Lee)
