Part: 1/1
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, Deathfic
Pairings: Colin/Percy
Summary: Five years after Harry's death, how can his biggest fan cope without him?
Authors Notes: This ficlet was a challenge given to me by Dorothy, who thinks I'm insane for loving this pairing now.
Harry had been gone for five years. No, the memory of his therapist's nasal voice reminded him, dead. Not gone. Dead. He wasn't on vacation somewhere or drifting out at sea waiting to be rescued... yes, he'd given up the delusions. He'd stopped seeing glances of Harry in the corners of his eyes. Stopped going on mad searches to catch another glimpse. He didn't even think of him. No, never. Not at all.
"Colin?"
The sleepy voice belonged to Percy Weasley. They'd become friends in the After Harry era of his life. Colin had kept his job as a photographer for the Daily Prophet for a while after Harry left... no... died. He'd met Percy after a speech he'd given to the media about his being the youngest person named Minister of Magic ever. And now that Colin's... problem had lost him his job, Percy supported him. Percy was the only one that listened to him anymore. Not that anyone ever really had. Especially not...
"Yeah?"
"You're thinking about him again."
"N-no I'm not." Yes he was. Always. Always thinking about him. Percy wrapped his hands around Colin's, warming them. Colin looked up at him. He couldn't deny those penetrating eyes. He didn't want to. He needed to talk about it. Why wasn't Percy tired of him yet?
"I am," he admitted. "I'm thinking about how much I wanted him to like me. I'm thinking about the way he ignored me. I-I'm thinking about how much he must have hated me."
"I understand how that feels." No assurances that Harry had felt any differently. No chastisement for speaking ill of himself. Understanding. It's what Percy did. That and... "But, there are people who love you that are still here."
"Who?"
"Your mother. Your father. Your brother.... Me." Me. It was an afterthought. As if remembering something unimportant. "I love you."
Colin crawled onto Percy's lap and curled up against him. "I know you do."
Percy put two crooked fingers on Colin's chin and lead his face up, leaning down for a gentle kiss.
Colin gave him his kisses, his body, sometimes his love. After all... with his eyes closed... ignoring reality... Percy could very well be Harry. He pushed up into the kiss letting his eyelids fall down to his cheeks. A strand of Percy's hair fell onto Colin's face. His hair was always so messy. Messy and black. Harry's hair. He ran his hand up into it and pulled Harry down further, running his tongue along his bottom lip and into his mouth. So beautiful. He tasted like childhood dreams and lost idolatry. He tasted so good. He pushed off Harry's glasses with his free hand and dropped them on the beside table. Harry pulled away from the kiss and Colin stayed in place, his eyes closed. He wanted to open them and look up at his love. There was a reason he shouldn't... but he couldn't remember. He couldn't resist. His eyes fluttered open.
It was all wrong. The hair was the wrong color. The eyes the wrong color. The cheeks to thin, the nose too long. The nose, cheeks and ears freckled. It was Percy. It was all wrong.
Percy must have seen the expression on his face because he looked down, frowning. After a long moment of silence, he spoke.
"Colin... it's all right. If you can't have him properly..." He brushed his hand over Colin's eyes, causing them to shut. "I can give him to you this way."
"I'm sorry, Percy," Colin whispered before letting the fantasy overtake him.
