Author name: Itsuwari
Author e-mail: shermif@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Rating: PG
'Ships: Am so not going to list all of them.
Spoilers: Dead Poets Society movie
Summary:
Disclaimer: I don't own Dead Poets Society.
Author's Note: Happy birthday, Lav. This is your present. Apologies that there is no RSL in nothing but a silver ribbon, but since Neil's been dead for over 20 years in this, I figured you probably wouldn't want him, anyway. Also, for the record, I am not giving this to Lav out of the kindness of my heart, though I do loff her. I am giving this to her because she decided a couple of months ago that I was going to write Knox/Chris fanfic. So I did. And then she decided I was going to write more. And I managed to fend her off for a while by telling her it was going to be a birthday present. I wasn't brave enough to not actually write it for her birthday...
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Alison's Paridise
When Todd Anderson rang the doorbell at 1512 Kennedy Street that Saturday morning in June, it was answered, as it always was, by a perky-looking blonde woman who Todd swore he had known in what seemed like another lifetime: senior year at 'Helton'.
As far as Todd could tell by looking at her, this was the same girl who he had helped Knox sneak into their dorm room all that year. He'd had to play lookout during those rare moments that his roommate could steal with the girl he loved, as Mr. Nolan was perhaps an even greater danger than Chet Danberry and his minions, and, as a result had gotten to know Chris quite well. And every time he rang this doorbell, he was sure she was the one who answered it.
But despite all the resemblance between the two women in mannerisms and looks, Alison Overstreet and Chris Noel were completely different people. But circumstance had caught up with Knox and Chris, and almost exactly fifteen years ago, invitations to Chris and Chet Danberry's wedding had arrived in Knox's and Todd's mailboxes. Todd had accepted the invitation. Knox had not. Two weeks after the wedding, Todd had recieved a phone call from Knox. He was married now. He'd met a girl at the library, and, after a whirlwind courtship, the ceremony had been performed the previous week. Todd had immediately been suspicious; Knox was hardly the type to forget someone like Chris, who had been his world for so long, so quickly. When he had met Alison, all his suspicions had been confirmed. He could hardly distinguish her from Chris.
He'd confronted Knox about his suspicions, but his friend had vehemently denied it, furious that Todd would accuse him of marrying a facade. Todd had dropped it, but every time he rang this doorbell, those thoughts resurfaced in his mind.
"Todd!" Alison greeted him with a big hug. "Knox, dear, he's here," she yelled up the stairs.
"Thank you so much for helping out," she said, "I couldn't possibly have my guests over with four children underfoot, and after last time, I'm not sure that Knox can be trusted with all of them by himself." She shuddered slightly. "Jen finally got her casts off last week."
Todd smiled. Knox did have a tendency to be irresponsible with his kids. "So, Ali, how's it going around here," he asked, following her around the entry way as she rearranged the decor in preparation for her guests.
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, you know. Paradise as usual. He leaves early and gets home late, I take care of the kids and keep the ho-" Alison was interrupted by a piercing scream from upstairs. "You know, I think I'd better get the kids ready to go myself," she said nervously. "I'll send Knox down in a second."
As Alison hurried up the stairs, Todd stepped into the living room and sat down on the couch. For a house with so many wild children, it was surprising how clean things managed to be. He picked up the book on the coffeetable and began to riffle through it absent-mindedly. Several minutes later, a harried-looking Knox plopped down next to him.
"She's crazy," he muttered.
"Hello to you too."
"Yeah, hi. So, did you really come all this way just to make sure I didn't let Jennifer break an arm and a leg again?"
"No, not actually. I have a business meeting here in town next week, and I just came a couple of days early. Ali made me."
Knox nodded. "Lot of work these days?"
"Not too much. You got a lot?"
"Yeah. I'm working on this really big case. Lots of overtime." The two men lapsed into silence for a moment.
"Have you heard from Charlie lately?" Knox finally asked.
"Not recently. Last I heard, he wasting his late father's money, while travelling the world with a different girl every week."
"What an irresponsible bastard."A boyish grin lit up both men's faces at the thought.
"Nuwanda was always the coolest." Todd said admiringly. Knox nodded.
At that moment, the four Overstreet children, Ethan, Jennifer, Susan, and Sam, burst into the room.
"Where are we going?" Jen demanded to know.
"Well," Todd began uncertainly. He and Knox looked at Alison. They hadn't got quite that far in making their plans.
"I thought that your father and Mr. Anderson could take you to the zoo." Alison said.
"The zoo? Can't I just stay here?"
"Jennifer, dear, I would be glad to let you stay, if you could possibly behave in front of my guests. However, the chances of your lasting more than five minutes without humiliating me, Jennifer, are sufficiently low that I must insist that you go with the other children."
"Whatever." Jen said sullenly. "Well? Are we going to go or not?"
As the kids were getting in the car, Knox pulled Todd aside. "Do we really have to go to the zoo?"
Todd shrugged. " I haven't got any better ideas."
An hour later, the group stood in front of the tiger cage at the zoo. Seven-year-old Sam was thouroughly engrossed, but everyone else was feeling rather bored. Sure that Todd was keeping a close enough watch on his children, Knox let his eyes wander around the area. The other people wandering around the collection of cats seemed quite a bit more interested in what they were looking at. It must be something about my kids, he thought. He stopped on two twin boys who looked about Ethan's age. One had a sketchbook, and appeared to be drawing the lion in the cage accross the path. The other seemed nearly as bored as his children did. The boy with the sketchpad made a last satisfied stroke, and turned to a woman holding a baby a few feet away.
"What d'you think mom?" he asked, showing her the drawing.
"It's lovely."
"What's lovely?" An angry-sounding voice asked. Knox looked at the man it came from, and did a double-take. It was Chet Danberry. Which meant that the boy's mother must be-- Chris. "Why are you wasting your time like this, Jim?" Chet growled, ripping the drawing off the sketchpad, crumpling it, and throwing it accross the path, where it landed at Knox's feet.
"Chet! Don't do that." Chris exclaimed.
"You stay out of this. Let's go get these kids something to eat."
The other children followed their father. Jim leaned against the fence, looking despondant. Chris put a hand on his shoulder, and whispered something before turning to follow Chet as well.
Knox picked up the drawing, and tried to straighten it out. He held it out to Jim.
"Thanks," the boy murmured, trying to smile as he took the paper back.
"That's a good drawing."
"You think so?"
Chris turned around at the sound of her son's voice. "Jim, please come on, your fa-" she stopped dead, a terrified look in her eyes. "Don't talk to strangers, Jim. Come on. I'm hungry."
Knox sighed, staring after Chris. She hadn't even said hello.
"Dad." Susan tugging on his sleeve abruply awoke Knox from his reverie. "Are we going to go somewhere else? This is boring."
He put a hand on his daughter's arm. "I completely agree," he said, smiling. "You hungry, Sue?" She nodded. He called over to Todd. "I think we should go get these kids something to eat.
Todd raised his eyebrows suspciously. "Five minutes ago, you didn't want to have for another hour."
"Five minutes ago, I wasn't hungry." Knox said just a little too nonchalantly.
Apparantly he wasn't hungry now either, Todd thought, as he watched his friend absently hand all the hot dogs he bought from a concession stand to his oldest son. He was clearly looking for someone in the crowd, but who?
"I'm going to run to the restroom," Knox said suddenly, a look showing that he'd found what he was looking for registering briefly on his face. Todd nodded dumbly, looking to see if there was someone he recognized over by the bathroom. Apart from Knox, there wasn't.
Chris couldn't believe that he was here. She'd spent the last fifteen years trying to forget that he had ever been part of her life, and suddenly, just when she'd finally adjusted, he randomly walked back into it. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? She dried her hands, picked her purse up off the bathroom sink, and walked back outside.
As soon as he saw Chris step out of the ladies room, Knox headed for the water fountain, making sure he got there just as Chris passed it. As she passed, he bent down over the fountain, purposely bumping her purse to the ground. "Sorry," he mumbled, picking it up and handing it to her. She tried to glare at him, but something seemed to held her back, and as he held out his arms, she found herself involuntarily falling into them. Somehow, it didn't feel as perfect as it had before.
"Nice to see it isn't over," he murmured into her hair.
She pulled back. "What do you mean 'isn't over'? It's been over for fifteen years."
Deep down Knox had known that Chris still felt the same way that he did. Suddenly, each and every fantasy of the last 15 years was being shattered. She had moved on. And suddenly, he no longer understood why he'd held out hope all these years that they would meet again and be able to renew their old passion.
"Did any of it ever mean anything to you?" he begged desperately, wishing for the tiniest shred of hope that they could be together again.
"Well of course it meant something. It meant everything to me, Knox. I loved you. But there was nothing else I could do. Chet wanted to kill you. The only way I could save your life was by doing what he wanted me to."
"You didn't save anything." Knox was surprised by the bitterness he heard in his own voice. He had no reason to feel that Chris shouldn't have moved on, but knowing that she had suddenly made him feel that life was no longer worth living.
"We're both married. We both have kids. We've got responsibilities," she said. "We're not free to do what we want to anymore."
He looked at her blankly for a long moment. "Why does it have to be this way?" he finally asked.
"I don't know. But it is, and you have to live with it," she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "I have to go before Chet comes looking for me and finds you."
With that, Chris Danberry walked out of Knox's life forever. He returned home to Alison, the guilt of how he had treated her for 15 years weighing heavily on him. He tried much harder to be abetter husband and father, though he never managed to overcome the fact that it was Chris, not Ali, that he loved. Alison continued to fancy herself the happiest woman in the world, never realizing how troubled the paradise she had constructed for herself from illusions and childhood dreams was.
