"What am I crazy or something , sticking around here isn't for me
, I'd do better going back home instead of staring at it from Earth every
night ...... , it's nothing personal ya know , just being here really isn't
for me .... I could never just settle down and do nothing all day living
off charity"
He had said it many times but they never would understand
his reasoning , in reality he had been a thief all his life and never would
take charity , not since he saw what charity had done for him in the past
... no , he wasn't going back into that , it was better not to go digging
graves up right now.
"But Duo , what is there to do up there , atleast here you have a
roof over your head and food to eat , what have you got waiting for you
up there?"
Quatre knew it was a losing battle , if Duo ever did
make up his mind to go there was nothing that even he could say to stop
him , after all really what was there to do , Trowa was enjoying himself
in the travelling circus , Wufei was part of the Preventers now and Heero
was usually in the Lanc kingdom with Relina , all of them trying to get
on with the life that was left to them and he had hoped Duo would just
stay with him. The last and most eratic of the group never did have anything
so Quatre had done everything in his power to look after the stray of the
group and had been fought the entire way but it hadn't detered him any.
"If it's just because you are bored I am sure I could find a job
for you in my own company , I just don't want to see you going back to
a place that has nothing left for you and you going back to the life you
left"
"Look Quat , it's been great seeing everyone happy and making sure
that they are all okay and not going crazy blowing themselves up and all
, but now that it's all over I want to go back and make a difference ,
sure we did our job and now it's time I took some time to find myself"
Not to mention find a way to wash all the blood off his
own hands , oh sure there was a reason for it then , a kill or be killed
situation usually forces you into that corner but now that it was all done
the faces had started haunting him in his sleep , he had toyed with the
idea of maybe going back and rebuilding the church , sure he didn't believe
in God or anything but to pay back Father Maxwell for what he had done
in the past , not just while Duo was a kid but while he had been in hell
, fighting to keep it from taking the Earth and the colonies that he loved
so.
A worried look passes over Quatre's face , almost hurt
that he has lost the last of his small group , but the smile returns ,
he understands that the toll taken can draw on even the deepest friendships.
"You win Duo , if you want to go then go , but you will write me
when you get there , and keep me informed as to what's going on inside
that crazy head of yours right , you won't just forget about me , cause
I'd look pretty silly going all the way up there just to have to hunt you
down you know?"
That's it , just keep it casual , after two years of
comming to know those that protected your back it was hard to let that
kind of friendship go , but that was just selfish , they wern't saying
goodbye just parting for alittle while , but that didn't help the small
Arabian who had always worn his heart on his sleeve.
"Don't worry , I'll write home every day okay Mommy , I promise"
That famous grin flashed across Duo Maxwell's face ,
the best mask he had was to make a joke about the whole deal , but one
just didn't leave a lifetime behind in two years , they had come so close
even at death's door that this would be the hardest part , saying goodbye
in person , oh sure the others would be easier , Heero had Relina after
all so this should be taken with his usual grunt of disapproval , Trowa
was likely busy being a target or playing with the lions to really say
much and Wufei .... oh face it , this would sound like good news to him
, and they'd know where to find him but to watch Quatre's face do that
funny worried look just made it like trying to pull a fly from a spiders
web and yet leave the web in tact.
"Oh just go already , no need for you to be couped up indoors when
all you do is look up at your home and remeber , if you need anything I
am right here , it's not like I won't be checking up on you though , I
do travel and may just drop by unexpectedly"
Laughter , of course the picture of finding posters all
over the colony with a "wanted" picture of Duo made that easier , and it
was always better to part with a smile , wasn't that what his father had
called "good buisness" at one point.
The american put his left hand behind his neck with a
grimace on his face , letting it set there for a moment before he finally
spoke.
"Well okay ......, just give me about an hours worth in the notice
department , just so I can make sure the place is clean and all"
The last comment brought fear to Quatre's face and then a real laught , Maxwell had gone and done it again , making things easier with a joke and a smile , oh how he would miss that , as they said their final farewells at the spaceport the sadness followed them , they talked about the others to kill the time but when it finally came they parted ways like it was normal to them , they had been on many missions before and had parted the exact same way , never with any fear that it was the last time that they would see each other and so far fate had been kind enough to ensure that the group had found their way back to each other in the end , Quatre held off till he had made it home , trying to remember it wasn't the end but the silence of the house told him differently , with Duo being there it had never been so quiet. He walked past the assult of silence waiting for him and in a desperate need to hear noise he walked over to the case that he had kept his violin in , gingerly taking it from the display case and started playing it , going from one piece to another remembering all the fun and hardship that they had all undergone , the missions that held no promise of return , and the faces that he never even seen that had died by those same hands that aptly held a bow now bringing from it the soothing notes that did little to help his resolve from slowly crumpling. He stopped and set the violin on the piano as he sat upon the stool and lower his face into his hands , finally letting it hit him that he had no one left depending on him to be the brave one as he let all the pain and disappointment out quietly and undisturbed within his santuary.
Duo had watched as long as he could from his seat , he was finally going home but he felt as if he had just left it behind instead of the excitement he had hoped to feel on his way back to the colonies , the mist rose in his own eyes but he refused to let them go and so the tears soon settled , he focused his thoughts back to try and figure out the big question that had been bothering him for some months , Now what , that question haunted him day and night , before there really only was doing what he could to help the others , doing his missions as the God of Death , but what happened to that God when there was no more death needed , the idea of the Grim Reaper sitting back on the beach relaxing was definatly not a very sought after idea so now he would go bak and rebuilt what little he had before it all started. Maybe he could find that time where there was no fighting , no blame , just peace of mind and happiness , but if he was ever going to be happy he knew he would have to earn it , the blood would never be washed from his hands but he often wondered if doing as much good in the present would ever help ease all the bad from the past.
