Chapter 4

'basement'

The phone rang.

Ring…

"Hello?"

"Hi Syaoran-kun!"

"Sakura."  He blushed faintly as he stared at the wall and gripped the phone a little tighter.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much.  I was just headed to the library to study for our history test."

"Oh Syaoran-kun."  He could practically hear her roll her eyes.  "As if you don't know the material backwards and forwards."

"It never hurts to be prepared."

"Well, can you take fifteen minutes out of your study time to meet me at the park?"

Li smiled one of his rare smiles.  Could he ever!

"What for?"

"It's a surprise.  I have something that I want to show you."

There was a soundless explosion, a bright flash that seared his eyes and burned into his brain.

And there was darkness.

Li bolted upright in bed, breathing heavily.

"Surprise," he panted.  "Show me?  What?  What did you want to show me, Sakura?"

"What?"  Tomoyo was pushing open the bedroom door with her foot, a breakfast tray in her hands.

Frantically Li tried to hang onto the memory, see what happened next, but it was hopeless.  No matter how hard he clenched his fist, the sands of that day were still streaming through his fingers. 

"Nothing," he muttered, burying his head in his hands.  "I thought I had it, for a moment.  I was close.  But it's gone again."

"Oh."  She seemed disappointed, but straightened her shoulders and walked over to the bed.  "I brought up some breakfast for you."

"Arigatou.  I didn't eat at all yesterday."  She sat on the edge of the bed and watched him devour his food.  He was so hungry that it was difficult to concentrate on anything, but after a while he slowed down and noticed that she was wearing her uniform.

"Going to class?"

"In a little while, yes.  I won't be able to concentrate, but Yuuhi will be worried if I don't show, after what happened yesterday.  Unless…"  She looked hopeful.  "Unless you need me to stay with you."

"Thanks, but I don't think so.  I'll call you if I do.  Don't hang up on me this time."

She nodded.

"Are you sure I can't help, somehow?"

"Well… maybe you'll know this.  I need to know where Yukito-san is these days."

"Tsukishiro Yukito?"  Tomoyo looked surprised, then wrinkled her brow.  "Hmm.  It's been a few months since I've seen him, but last I heard, he was still in school.  Kinomoto-kun graduated college and got a job to support himself and Kinomoto-sensei, but Tsukishiro-san went on to the graduate program in psychology.  I don't remember exactly where he lives."

"I do.  But he won't be there in the day."

"What do you need to see him for?  Do you think he can help?"

Li shrugged.

"I don't know.  I can only try, and it's as good a place to start as any."  He gulped some orange juice, then stood to stretch.  He was pleased that he seemed to have completely healed, though it probably wasn't a good idea to take off the bandage just yet. 

He went into her bathroom to change into his clothes, and she reached over to examine something he'd left on her bedside table.

"What is this?"

"What is what?"

"This little, um, trinket?  I'm not sure what it is."

"That's my sword."

"Sword?"

"Yes," he answered, reemerging in the bathroom doorway.  "I'll show you."

It was the work of second to squeeze his fist tight and concentrate, and Tomoyo's eyes popped open with surprise when the sword appeared in his hand.

"Oh my… it's real.  There really is such a thing as magic!"

"Hai," he replied automatically, his mind straying for a moment.  Igniting his sword was the first time he'd tried to work any magic since the hospital, and something about it felt… odd. 

"What is it like?" Tomoyo was asking, oblivious to his distraction.  Li was surprised; she'd never asked that before.  Perhaps she never felt the need to question Sakura about her magic, perhaps it had just been enough for her to tape it.

"Um, I'm not really sure how to explain it.  It's something I can do, like flexing my muscles or taking a step.  It's also like another sense, like touching or hearing.  I can feel an expression of magic."

That was it; that was the oddity.  Until just now, he hadn't so much as caught a whisper of any kind of magic.  Not Sakura's, not anything hostile, nothing.  Only his own.

"Then shouldn't you be able to sense her?" Tomoyo pressed, applying her usual logic to this new concept of sorcery.  Li stared at her, and after a long moment, nodded.

"Yes.  But for some reason, I can't." 

She bit her lip.

"Then doesn't that mean that - "

"It doesn't necessarily mean that Sakura is dead," he interrupted hastily.  At least he hoped it didn't.  The thought of her gone forever was not something he would allow himself to contemplate.  "I can't really sense anything, actually.  Everything has been muted."

"What do you mean?" 

"It's strange…" he murmured.  "I didn't notice it until just now.  There was nothing to notice."  She wrinkled her brow as she tried to follow him, and he tried to explain.  "Picture a drawing in green, except it's been done on a green background of the exact same shade.  If you didn't know the drawing was there, it would look like a simple square of green.  That's what's happened here.  Everything feels the same everywhere, even though I know there should be variations and patterns.  I've got to figure out why and how."

"And then you'll find her?"  There was no mistaking the desperate hope in her voice.  All at once Li realized the responsibility he'd taken on.  Tomoyo had been through a lot these past six years.  If he couldn't deliver, if he couldn't find Sakura, then she would be crushed beyond all repair.  He shouldn't make any promises.

Li withdrew his sword and knelt before her on the bed to take her hands in his.

"I promise, Daidouji.  I will find her, or I will die trying.  A life without Sakura isn't one that I want to live anyway.  And what's more, I will find her today.  I'm sick of all this playing around."

Tomoyo noticed that his eyes had little golden flecks in them as he gazed at her, as serious and determined as any detective had ever been when Sakura first disappeared.  He would be able to do what they had not.  She placed her faith completely in him.

"I know you will.  Good luck.  And call me Tomoyo."  She reached forward and planted a light kiss on his lips, then disengaged her hands so she could stand.  He watched her pick up her bag and move to the door with an expression that was both surprised and pleased.  "Call me if you need me."

And then she slipped out the door and was gone.  Li blew his bangs out of his face and began to pull on his shoes.  He hoped that he hadn't just done something incredibly stupid.  What if he couldn't find her after all?

No. You will.  You can do it, Syaoran.  You're the only one that can.

**

Yukito shuffled his papers into his bag and shouldered it, preparing to leave the Teaching Assistant offices.  He'd been behind lately, trying to write the paper that would be his master's thesis, and he needed to get right home and to work on it. 

Someone entered the office and shut the door behind him.

"Can I help you?" he asked pleasantly.  The boy looked a little young for a college student, and wasn't wearing any school uniform.

"I hope so, Yukito-san.  We need to talk."

Yukito raised his eyebrows.

"Have we met?"

"Plenty of times, but unfortunately, you don't remember it."  Li advanced on Yukito, who backed uncertainly into his desk.  "Please don't be nervous.  I swear I'm not going to hurt you."

"I should hope not," Yukito answered, trying to cover up his fear.  This kid looked slightly unstable, and there was a white bandage covering some injury on his forehead.  "I'm warning you, I'm a lot stronger than I look."

"I know.  Speaking of which, I really need to talk to Yue." 

"Huh?"  Li waited for a second, then exhaled in frustration.  There was only Yukito standing there by his desk, his brown eyes growing more and more uneasy as he watched Li.

"Damn.  I was hoping that maybe – maybe with the Cards not scattered, he might be able to come out.  But I guess not."

"What?"

"But I know he's inside you, and I know he can hear me.  Yue, can you hear me in there?  Are you listening?  My name is Li Syaoran.  I'm a descendent of Clow Reed's, from Hong Kong.  I know you don't know who I am, but believe me when I tell you that I'm a friend of Sakura's.  I'm trying to help her."

Yukito's eyes widened, and he leaned back from Li as though he were dangerous.

"You – you're him.  You're the guy that Toya was talking about."

"Yukito-san, please don't freak out - "

"Get away from us!"  Li should have expected it, but he was surprised nonetheless at the hard shove that Yukito gave him.  He'd never been the violent type.  His friend was circling around, putting the desk in between the two of them.  "Who are you?  Why are you coming around to torture us like this?"

"Yukito-san, I'm not trying to hurt anyone - "

"Well, you are.  Who are you?"

"I'm a friend," Li pleaded.  "I swear it.  And I can prove it.  If you'll just listen to your head - "

"Listen to my head?  What?"  Yukito shook his head in confusion.  "Listen, whoever you are, you've obviously been hurt, you're confused - "

"Everybody stop saying that!  I am not confused.  I am the only one that is not confused.  I am trying to find Sakura, and no one is making that very easy!  Yukito-san, I know you were her friend, and you were her crush.  But you were also her guardian, even though you didn't know it.  Yue, help me out here.  Please, if you can, talk to him.  Tell him that I'm here to help."

"Who are you talking to?"  Yukito looked around, but it was just the two of them in the office.  How unstable was this guy? 

"If you would just be quiet and listen - "

"No.  Stop it!  Stop invading our lives like this!  Toya told me that you attacked him, and you attacked Daidouji-san.  Get away from me!"

The phone on Yukito's desk rang, and he jumped for it.  But before he could reach it, Li swept it off his desk.

"The phone," he snarled.  Yukito backed away; Li was starting to look more and more dangerous.  "The damn phone rang, and it was her, and she wanted to show me something.  And I can't remember what!  I don't know what happened to her, it's killing me on the inside.  I know you've felt the same way for six years, Yukito-san.  But you've got to believe that I'm trying to help!"

"Why should I?"

"Do you ever feel like there's someone watching you, Yukito-san?" Li tried.  "Someone who can see everything that you can, and has access to your thoughts?"

"Everybody does.  It's normal paranoia."

"It's not paranoia in your case."  Li took a careful step around the desk, but Yukito just moved around to the far end.  "It's true, for you.  And you know it, deep down inside, you can feel what I'm talking about.  That's because you've got magic, even though I can't feel it."

For a second he thought he saw a flicker of recognition in Yukito's eyes, but then it passed. 

"Get out.  Get out of this office and leave us alone."

He kept saying 'us'.  Li glanced down at the desk and saw a photo by his hands.  A photo of Yukito and Touya, wrestling playfully and smiling at the camera.  Touya couldn't have smiled a lot in the past few years, and Li wondered how often he had gone to Yukito to feel better, to take a few minutes and forget the tragedy.

"Put that down," Yukito snapped, when Li picked up the frame.

"Have you and Kinomoto told anyone about your relationship?"

"No, we – how did you know about that?"

"Everybody knows, where I come from.  But it's a secret now, isn't it?  Kinomoto isn't about to tell his father about you and him, not after everything else that's happened."  Li recalled the day before, how Touya had been carrying a box of donuts to his car.  No two people ever needed a whole box of donuts for breakfast – unless one of those people was Yukito.  He must be eating even more these days, to sustain himself while he waited for a new master that would never come. 

"Kinomoto wants to move out, live with you.  But he's not going to leave his father alone."

"How do you know all this?"

"Because I'm one of your friends, Yukito-san.  You just don't know it.  And I'm Sakura's friend.  I want to help her.  I know you do too.  So please, calm down."  Li returned the photo to the desk and took a cautious step toward Yukito.  This time he didn't retreat, but watched him with wary eyes as he came closer.

"Please.  I'm desperate.  Just relax, and concentrate, and listen.  Do you hear anything?"

They were both quiet for a moment, Yukito uncertain and scared, and Li fiercely hopeful.  He had no idea if Yue could communicate with Yukito in this state, but he knew he had to try.  It was his best lead.

"Do you hear anything?" he asked quietly.  Yukito hesitated, then shook his head, and Li crumpled into a chair.

"Damn," he muttered.  "Yue, Yue, I know you can hear me.  I know you must want to help.  But I'm on my own.  You were never granted the power to take your true form."

Yukito took a step toward the forlorn boy, but jumped when Li shot out of his chair.

"You never took your true form," he repeated, a sudden gleam in his eye. 

"Took my true form?"

"No!  No, you couldn't!  And you never had to draw on a magical power!  Do you know what this means?"

Of course he didn't.  Li felt a little abashed when he saw Yukito shake his head in confusion. 

"It means he can still see!"  Li couldn't afford to waste any more time with Yukito, and he tore out of the office, leaving Yukito to collapse into his chair with relief.  So many painful memories had just resurfaced, so many things that he would have liked to forget.  The year after Sakura's disappearance had been particularly hard on Touya. 

Yukito picked up the photo and absently traced his finger over his lover's face.  Yukito hated to see Touya in pain, and Touya had been upset out of all proportion when he met that boy the day before in the street.  This teenager seemed to bring strife wherever he went.  He knew he should retrieve the phone from the floor and call Touya, tell him about this latest confrontation, but he didn't.  As though his body had a will of its own, Yukito could not get out of his chair.

**

Li paced himself carefully, so as not to bring on a relapse of dizziness, and it was early afternoon before he completed the long walk from the university to the Kinomoto home.  What I wouldn't give for some bus fare.  Why didn't I think to ask Tomoyo for some money?  Oh well, it can't be helped now.  I'm here.

Once again Li was standing in front of her house.  This time there were no cars in the driveway.  Touya was probably still wherever he worked, and who knew where Kinomoto-sensei might have gone.  He would have to wait, again.  He hated all this waiting.  But in the meantime, he wanted to check out the scene of the crime.

Sakura's window was still open from the day before, and Li scaled the tree to clamber through it.  It was the best way he could think of to enter the house, despite the heartache that stirred in his chest at seeing her bare and stripped room.

I wonder how long they waited before packing up her things.  Kinomoto-kun had to do it, I bet.  It must have been incredibly painful.

Li ground his teeth a little and left her room behind, then went downstairs.  Everything on this level seemed more or less the same, although the board that used to bear her name for chores was now missing.  It must have been too painful to erase her name, so they'd taken it down instead.

Who did this?  Who did this to her family?

Li stomped down the hallway and found the basement door.  He had to pull away a desk that blocked his access, and he wondered how long it had been since anyone was down there.

Hinges creaking and protesting, Li pushed the door open and stepped onto the first stair.  Immediately he could feel a rush of power, magic that had been concentrated in this room and pent up for years.  His skin tingled, and he had an eerie vision of Sakura creeping down the stairs in her school clothes.

He took another step.

The white skirt, the navy blouse.  I can see them in my mind, I can see every detail.  I'm not just picturing it.

Another step.

White socks, and her hamster slippers.  A thread was loose on the right slipper.

Another step.

Her hair is in pigtails, like it always used to be.  She was wearing little red bands that day.

Another step.

And she's clutching the baton in her hand.  She can hear… the strange noises.  I can too.  I can hear the annoying gurgling, the rise and fall of the soft sounds.  She wants to determine its source, but she's scared.

Another step.

Don't be scared, Sakura.  It's just Cerberus, snoring.  But there's something else, something that's not supposed to be down here. 

That was the magic that he'd felt upon opening the door.  It was impossible to define it, he only knew that it was a concentration of what he'd been feeling since he woke up in the hospital.  He hadn't recognized it before, since it had been everywhere.  But now he could feel it.

They reached the basement floor at last.

And that, Sakura, you should definitely be scared of.  It's something that has come to hurt you, and it has hurt me too.  I just don't know why.

Now he could see her tiptoe along the rows of books, holding out her baton in a meager defense.  He followed in her footsteps, until she finally reached the last row.

"Aha!"  She paused in surprise by her father's desk.  "There's – no one here."

"There is, though!" Li shouted in warning.  It was pointless; she was only a shadow of the past, and she couldn't hear him.  "Sakura, it's coming for you!  Please run!"  But she didn't, and only crept toward the book that she could see glowing on the shelf.  She was reaching out now, to take it from its place.

Now Li could feel a huge swelling of power, getting ready to unleash itself on the unsuspecting girl.  He felt terror growing within him too, a terror borne of helplessness.  He was witnessing the entire thing, and he didn't want to.  He could do nothing as Sakura held the book in her hands and examined its cover.  Suddenly, on its own, the clasp sprung open, and she gasped and dropped her baton.

This is it, thought Li, panicked.  She's about to open the book and take out Windy, and I know that the Cards aren't scattered.  So it's going to happen now.

He fell to his knees, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene unfolding before him.  Slowly she was opening the book, scared of what she might find inside.

"It's… cards?"

There was a soundless explosion, a bright flash that seared his eyes and burned into his brain.

And there was darkness.

"No!" Li shouted helplessly.  He couldn't see anything, but purple spots danced in his vision, like when he looked into the sun for too long.  He pounded his fists, and could feel the floor of the basement beneath them.

No, damn it, no!  It's not fair!  I couldn't see it – it was too bright.  I was blinded, and I couldn't see it!

His vision cleared, and he was alone on the floor.  There was just the baton and the discarded slippers beside him, and then they too faded away as he returned to the present. 

But the upheaval in magic had set his senses free.  They were running over one another in his mind, all scrambling for priority.  It was as if insects were crawling in his mind, and he gripped his hair in his hands, fighting to get them under control.  It was a losing battle, and he fell completely down on the floor, writhing.

The phone rang.

Ring…

"Hello?"

Ring…

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hi Syaoran-kun!"

"Syaoran-kun!"

"Sakura."  He blushed faintly – he blushed faintly as he sta – stared at the wall and gripped the phone a little tighter.

"What's up?"

The phone rang.

Ring…

"Nothing much.  I was just headed to the library to study for – to study for our history test."

"Oh Syaoran-kun."  He could practically hear her roll her eyes.  "Syaoran-kun."  - roll her eyes.  "As if you don't know the material backwards and forwards – backwards and forwards."

"It never hurts to be prepared."

The phone rang.

Ring…

"Hello?"

"Well, can you take fifteen minutes out of your study time to meet me at the park – meet me at the park?"

Li smiled one of his rare smiles.  Could he ever!

"The park?"

"What for?"

"What for?"

"It's a surprise.  I have something that I want to show you – show you."

"Stop it!" screamed Li, but his mind paid no attention.  The scar on his forehead was burning now, it was literally hot to the touch.  And still his mind continued to swirl.

"Thanks for meeting me here – meeting me here, Syaoran-kun.  I – I wanted to show you something."

"Yeah?  What?"

"What?"

She giggled.

"So impatient as always – as always, Syaoran-kun.  I wanted you to be the first – the first to see it.  You were the one that convinced me I should go for it."

"Go for what?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"For this."

There was a soundless explosion, a bright flash that seared his eyes and burned into his brain.

And there was darkness.

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Disclaimer:  I do not own these characters