A lot of the dialogue in here was taken straight from the book and some was
my own added in to suit my own devises in my message to portray the
likeness of Frodo and Gollum.
Look Into the Eyes of What I Might Have Been:
Frodo's POV Frodo comes face to face with the creature Gollum, but why does he not kill him? He sees something there and it frightens him. Prelude to "To Deserve Pity"
It was a hard climb. Now we are at the feet of Emyn Muil but the going has not gotten much easier, much to mine and my companion's despair. But perhaps he have lost our pursuer for the moment being. But now another pursuer threatens my mind. I still cannot shake the cold feeling from my frozen blood. That shriek, that horrible, heartstopping, earsplitting, shrill shriek. We have heard it before but now in this barren, dusty land it makes my heart quail all the more. I feel a part of it now, ever since the- wound. That piercing icicle poisoning my shoulder, I am part of it now. But we may sleep easier tonight knowing we've lost that slithering snake, Gollum. We can do nothing about the wraiths but that miserable creature could be disposed of. If I should have the chance I'd kill the wretched-
"Mr. Frodo?"
"Yes, Samwise." I cannot help the tired agitation in my own voice.
"There ain't no place for shelter, sir. Can't find naught a nook nor hollow."
"Then we might as well rest here, Sam. We may be safe for the time being. Our little climb might have thrown Gollum off our trail."
Sam hissed. I could tell his contempt for the creature was far greater than my own. "Maybe I should keep watch, sir. Just to make sure you're safe, meanin' he's a tricky one, I'll bet. I don't want no harm to come to you."
I cannot stifle a shiver run down me. Gollum was not as far as we had thought. I could almost hear the light pad of his feet along the rocks, Sam doesn't seem to though. I drew my cloak closer around me, eager for the protection of Lorien. "No. You sleep a bit Sam and take my blanket. I'll walk up aand down on sentry for a while." I'd feel safer if I was keeping watch myself, somehow I do not think Sam can hear the creature as well as I, another effect of the wound. My left arm already feels numb with cold, a feeling I will probably have to get used to.
There was a sound! Louder and closer now! Before I can think my body stiffens and I stoop next to Sam protectively. I grip his arm in warning, "What was that? Look over there on the cliff!"
I hear Sam breath in sharply through his clenched teeth. "Ssss! That's what it is. It's that Gollum! Snakes and adders! And to think that I thought we'd puzzle him with our bit of a climb! Look at him! Like a nasty crawling spider on a wall."
Indeed it was. At least I knew I wasn't all that crazy. Like a spider he crawled, nimbly down the sheer cliff bathed in the moonlight. His dark form moved fluidly, played on the cliff securely. I admired his skill in finding the small holds that no hobbit could detect. He crawled down on his sticky pads of feet and hands like some prowling insect-kind, my despise for him grew.
He stopped and for a moment I thought he had seen us. I pulled Sam lower, who had moved to stand and reached for his sword. Brave fool, it would not be so easy as to stand up to his face, claim yourself to him, and slay him just so. We would need to be just as slick and cuning. Skills I had little practice at, but perhaps the element of surprise may give us the upper hand. If Gollum had such an acute sense of hearing as I he would surely detect us if we such as moved or breathed unsteadily.
Gollum stopped and moved his head about on his scrawny neck, I could barely hear the light sniffing noises he made. I caught a glimpse of the two pale lights I had seen in Moria. His hallow eyes, so empty and forlorn. Quickly I shake the pity from me and clench my fists once more. He was hunting us. And just then I realized he wasn't listening for us, he could smell us.
"Do you think he can see us?" Sam whispered.
I made my voice even lower to portray that I wanted him to be as quiet as possible. "I don't know, but I think not. It is hard even for friendly eyes to see these elven-cloaks: I cannot see you in the shadow even at a few paces. And I've heard that he doesn't like Sun or Moon."
"Then why is he coming down just here?"
I grew agitated at Sam's overlyloud questioning. "Quietly Sam! He can smell us, perhaps. And he can hear as keen as Elves, I believe. I think he has heard something now: our voices probably. We did a lot of shouting away back there; and we were talking far too loudly until a minute ago."
Sam did not quite get the hint. "Well, I"m sick of him. He's come once too often for me, and I'm going to have a word with him, if I can. I don't suppose we could give him the slip now anyway." He drew his grey hood over his face and crept stealthily towards the cliff. I was too dumbfouned to protest.
"Careful! Don't alarm him! He's much more dangerous than he looks." Was all I could find to say.
Gollum had made it but three-quarters of the way down and I can hear his snuffling more loudly now. He had come so far in hunting us. I can feel my hand straying to the chain around my neck, the cool, smooth metal of the trinket that dangled so helplessly on it. It wasn't his. It was mine now! I wouldn't let him take it from me! I try desperately to calm my racing mind. Voices whisper to me, voices I've gotten so accustomed to, their presence a numbing softness. They urge me to just slip the cool metal over my finger. I try to shake them away a pain shooting through me. My left arm goes cold and numb and I can feel my eyes glaze and burn. The voices were so numbing and soothing, without them, without the ring, I was hallow, frozen and burning at the same time. I inched back, cowering in the shadows. I cannot gain control over myself, my fingers lightly fondling the trinket around my neck as I back away. Sam shoots a worried look at me and I try to fight the urge to slip on the ring. My eyes wide. "We musn't risk out neck." A voice in my mind whispered. I thought it only sense, as I tried to urge Sam back. But my voice has left me now.
We saw Gollum, still frozen and sniffing at the air. Then he turned, hissed something like a curse under his breath, and spit. He lifted his head, lolling it about his neck, he moved on again. Now we can hear his voice, creaking and hissing, a low whistle blow as air escaped through his teeth.
"Ach, sss! Cautious, my precious!" I heard him hiss. I clenched me fists in hatred for the creature. But now would be a poor time to act. I held myself back. The voices slowly fading from my mind. "More haste less speed. We musstn't rissk our neck, musst we, precious?" I froze. Had I not just thought that? My mind was somewhat blurred, a veil pulled over it by the ring. I try to convince myself that I heard him say it before, but this was a failed attempt. He must read minds.
"No, precious- gollum!" He stopped again. Now I was certain he saw us. But he lifted his head at the moon. He blinked and screwed his eyes shut. He cursed and hissed again, covering his eyes. "We hate it! Nassty, nassty shivery light it is- sss- it spies on us, precious- it hurts our eyes."
I clenched my teeth, hating him all the more. Rage burning in my eyes, I could not tell if it was the ring's doing or my own that made me hate him so. It's mine, it is, the thief! Curse him! I hate him!
"Where iss it, where iss it: my Precious, my Precious? It's ours, it is, and we wants is. The thieves, the thieves, the filthy little thieves. Where are they with my Precious? Curse them! We hates them."
My eyes grew wide with fear. It was at the sound of Sam's voice that brought me back to reality. "It doesn't sound as if he knew we were here, does it? And what's his Precious? Does he mean the-"
"Hsh!" I hiss angrily having little control over my own voice. "He's getting near now. Near enough to hear a whisper."
Gollum stopped abruptly. Lifting his head and sniffing. His pale eyes gleamed. He was so near. I felt my hand fall to my chest, over the ring, protectively. Sam's hatred and disgust for the creature was evident. He tried to restrain himself, his fingers twitching, his eyes fixed on the wretched creature as they burned with disgust.
Gollum began to move again now just a few feet above our heads and he seemed stuck. The cliff dove in slightly and was undercut. With a wretched shiek he fell, curling his legs and arms to his chest. Sam took this oportunity to leap on the creature. It seemed as good as any other, we had the element of surprise and Gollum's momentary immobility. Sam threw himself on Gollum and I was quite impressed and somwhat horrified at Sam's show of violent hate. I always thought of him as a quiet, timid hobbit who loved just about everything and could not quite understand the meaning of hate. I was wrong.
I was also wrong with Sam having the upper hand. In a flash Gollum wound his long arms and legs around Sam and pinned him to the ground. Once again I was dumbstruck. Gollum was horribly strong and quick. I saw his clammy fingers reaching for Sam's neck and his sharp teeth sink into Sam's shoulder. With that my rage burst. As quickly as I could bring myself to wits I leapt out and unsheathed Sting. I pulled Gollum's head back by his stragly hair so that he stared right at the moon and put Sting's cold metal to his neck. "Let go!" My voice stronger and clearer than ever before. "This is Sting. YOu have seen it before once upon a time. Let go, or you'll feel it this time! I'll cut your throat!"
Gollum cumpled in a heap and Sam struggled to his feet rubbing his shoulder. His eyes blazed with anger. My own anger surpassing any of my attempts to quench it. I swung my foot out and kicked the wretched heap that cowered before me. My own eyes a fire, one hand gripping Sting the other lain on my chest just where the ring stay hidden. Gollum went reeling and was thrown against the cliff.
"Don't hurt us! Don't let them hurt us, precious!" Gollum pleaded. I sneered, he was so pathetic. But he wanted it. He would take it! And it was mine! I kicked the beast once more, not able to control my own actions and anger.
Sam's own anger turned quickly to fright as he watched me. I must say I was frightened myself as I beat the miserable creatured. Sobs welled up in his gobbling throat and I could not control my actions. He wanted it! He'd take it! It was mine! I held out Sting and put it right to his neck, feeling its power rush through me the voices now shouted in my mind blurring out all of Sam's cries for me to cease this madness. I was eye to eye with the creature now. Those two pale lits, fear was behind them now. And something else.
Perhaps it was the ring, or my own madness, but Gollum dissipated right infront of me. As if the wretched creature was just old tattered rags draped over some other creature. The two pale eyes turned quickly into round blue ones, brimming with tears, lit with fear and confusion. His long stragly hair were just wisps of mist and as the rags of the ancient creature fell I saw someone else. Dark curls and large frightened blue eyes. His skin was pale bathed in moonlight. He was small. Oh so small and frightened, his hand gripping desperately to something on his chest.
My own eyes widened with fear. I was looking right at myself! A complete mirror image of me cowered before me, frightened and confused. Just wanting to go back to his old life, live in piece with his friends and family, in his peaceful land that he loved and missed and feared would never see again.
It was then that I collapsed. Sting dropped from my grasp and my whole body caved. I felt arms around me and was looking up into Sam's fearful eyes. Gollum stood before me, once again Gollum, but still frightened and pitiful. All became hazy and then black. I heard Sam's voice echoing in my mind and no more.
Later I always looked back on that day. The day I realized just what I might have been if I didn't have Sam. If I had killed him, my most loyal and devoted friend, as Smeagol had done to his own. I realized just what Sam and I had, how it helped me overcome the ring's call for so very long. That one last grip of sanity I had with me. Ever and anon had I looked at Gollum I would sigh and a cry would well up inside me. This was me. If I had killed Sam it is what I would have become. And this is why I pity Smeagol so. If he hadn't killed Deagol, what would have become of him?
Look Into the Eyes of What I Might Have Been:
Frodo's POV Frodo comes face to face with the creature Gollum, but why does he not kill him? He sees something there and it frightens him. Prelude to "To Deserve Pity"
It was a hard climb. Now we are at the feet of Emyn Muil but the going has not gotten much easier, much to mine and my companion's despair. But perhaps he have lost our pursuer for the moment being. But now another pursuer threatens my mind. I still cannot shake the cold feeling from my frozen blood. That shriek, that horrible, heartstopping, earsplitting, shrill shriek. We have heard it before but now in this barren, dusty land it makes my heart quail all the more. I feel a part of it now, ever since the- wound. That piercing icicle poisoning my shoulder, I am part of it now. But we may sleep easier tonight knowing we've lost that slithering snake, Gollum. We can do nothing about the wraiths but that miserable creature could be disposed of. If I should have the chance I'd kill the wretched-
"Mr. Frodo?"
"Yes, Samwise." I cannot help the tired agitation in my own voice.
"There ain't no place for shelter, sir. Can't find naught a nook nor hollow."
"Then we might as well rest here, Sam. We may be safe for the time being. Our little climb might have thrown Gollum off our trail."
Sam hissed. I could tell his contempt for the creature was far greater than my own. "Maybe I should keep watch, sir. Just to make sure you're safe, meanin' he's a tricky one, I'll bet. I don't want no harm to come to you."
I cannot stifle a shiver run down me. Gollum was not as far as we had thought. I could almost hear the light pad of his feet along the rocks, Sam doesn't seem to though. I drew my cloak closer around me, eager for the protection of Lorien. "No. You sleep a bit Sam and take my blanket. I'll walk up aand down on sentry for a while." I'd feel safer if I was keeping watch myself, somehow I do not think Sam can hear the creature as well as I, another effect of the wound. My left arm already feels numb with cold, a feeling I will probably have to get used to.
There was a sound! Louder and closer now! Before I can think my body stiffens and I stoop next to Sam protectively. I grip his arm in warning, "What was that? Look over there on the cliff!"
I hear Sam breath in sharply through his clenched teeth. "Ssss! That's what it is. It's that Gollum! Snakes and adders! And to think that I thought we'd puzzle him with our bit of a climb! Look at him! Like a nasty crawling spider on a wall."
Indeed it was. At least I knew I wasn't all that crazy. Like a spider he crawled, nimbly down the sheer cliff bathed in the moonlight. His dark form moved fluidly, played on the cliff securely. I admired his skill in finding the small holds that no hobbit could detect. He crawled down on his sticky pads of feet and hands like some prowling insect-kind, my despise for him grew.
He stopped and for a moment I thought he had seen us. I pulled Sam lower, who had moved to stand and reached for his sword. Brave fool, it would not be so easy as to stand up to his face, claim yourself to him, and slay him just so. We would need to be just as slick and cuning. Skills I had little practice at, but perhaps the element of surprise may give us the upper hand. If Gollum had such an acute sense of hearing as I he would surely detect us if we such as moved or breathed unsteadily.
Gollum stopped and moved his head about on his scrawny neck, I could barely hear the light sniffing noises he made. I caught a glimpse of the two pale lights I had seen in Moria. His hallow eyes, so empty and forlorn. Quickly I shake the pity from me and clench my fists once more. He was hunting us. And just then I realized he wasn't listening for us, he could smell us.
"Do you think he can see us?" Sam whispered.
I made my voice even lower to portray that I wanted him to be as quiet as possible. "I don't know, but I think not. It is hard even for friendly eyes to see these elven-cloaks: I cannot see you in the shadow even at a few paces. And I've heard that he doesn't like Sun or Moon."
"Then why is he coming down just here?"
I grew agitated at Sam's overlyloud questioning. "Quietly Sam! He can smell us, perhaps. And he can hear as keen as Elves, I believe. I think he has heard something now: our voices probably. We did a lot of shouting away back there; and we were talking far too loudly until a minute ago."
Sam did not quite get the hint. "Well, I"m sick of him. He's come once too often for me, and I'm going to have a word with him, if I can. I don't suppose we could give him the slip now anyway." He drew his grey hood over his face and crept stealthily towards the cliff. I was too dumbfouned to protest.
"Careful! Don't alarm him! He's much more dangerous than he looks." Was all I could find to say.
Gollum had made it but three-quarters of the way down and I can hear his snuffling more loudly now. He had come so far in hunting us. I can feel my hand straying to the chain around my neck, the cool, smooth metal of the trinket that dangled so helplessly on it. It wasn't his. It was mine now! I wouldn't let him take it from me! I try desperately to calm my racing mind. Voices whisper to me, voices I've gotten so accustomed to, their presence a numbing softness. They urge me to just slip the cool metal over my finger. I try to shake them away a pain shooting through me. My left arm goes cold and numb and I can feel my eyes glaze and burn. The voices were so numbing and soothing, without them, without the ring, I was hallow, frozen and burning at the same time. I inched back, cowering in the shadows. I cannot gain control over myself, my fingers lightly fondling the trinket around my neck as I back away. Sam shoots a worried look at me and I try to fight the urge to slip on the ring. My eyes wide. "We musn't risk out neck." A voice in my mind whispered. I thought it only sense, as I tried to urge Sam back. But my voice has left me now.
We saw Gollum, still frozen and sniffing at the air. Then he turned, hissed something like a curse under his breath, and spit. He lifted his head, lolling it about his neck, he moved on again. Now we can hear his voice, creaking and hissing, a low whistle blow as air escaped through his teeth.
"Ach, sss! Cautious, my precious!" I heard him hiss. I clenched me fists in hatred for the creature. But now would be a poor time to act. I held myself back. The voices slowly fading from my mind. "More haste less speed. We musstn't rissk our neck, musst we, precious?" I froze. Had I not just thought that? My mind was somewhat blurred, a veil pulled over it by the ring. I try to convince myself that I heard him say it before, but this was a failed attempt. He must read minds.
"No, precious- gollum!" He stopped again. Now I was certain he saw us. But he lifted his head at the moon. He blinked and screwed his eyes shut. He cursed and hissed again, covering his eyes. "We hate it! Nassty, nassty shivery light it is- sss- it spies on us, precious- it hurts our eyes."
I clenched my teeth, hating him all the more. Rage burning in my eyes, I could not tell if it was the ring's doing or my own that made me hate him so. It's mine, it is, the thief! Curse him! I hate him!
"Where iss it, where iss it: my Precious, my Precious? It's ours, it is, and we wants is. The thieves, the thieves, the filthy little thieves. Where are they with my Precious? Curse them! We hates them."
My eyes grew wide with fear. It was at the sound of Sam's voice that brought me back to reality. "It doesn't sound as if he knew we were here, does it? And what's his Precious? Does he mean the-"
"Hsh!" I hiss angrily having little control over my own voice. "He's getting near now. Near enough to hear a whisper."
Gollum stopped abruptly. Lifting his head and sniffing. His pale eyes gleamed. He was so near. I felt my hand fall to my chest, over the ring, protectively. Sam's hatred and disgust for the creature was evident. He tried to restrain himself, his fingers twitching, his eyes fixed on the wretched creature as they burned with disgust.
Gollum began to move again now just a few feet above our heads and he seemed stuck. The cliff dove in slightly and was undercut. With a wretched shiek he fell, curling his legs and arms to his chest. Sam took this oportunity to leap on the creature. It seemed as good as any other, we had the element of surprise and Gollum's momentary immobility. Sam threw himself on Gollum and I was quite impressed and somwhat horrified at Sam's show of violent hate. I always thought of him as a quiet, timid hobbit who loved just about everything and could not quite understand the meaning of hate. I was wrong.
I was also wrong with Sam having the upper hand. In a flash Gollum wound his long arms and legs around Sam and pinned him to the ground. Once again I was dumbstruck. Gollum was horribly strong and quick. I saw his clammy fingers reaching for Sam's neck and his sharp teeth sink into Sam's shoulder. With that my rage burst. As quickly as I could bring myself to wits I leapt out and unsheathed Sting. I pulled Gollum's head back by his stragly hair so that he stared right at the moon and put Sting's cold metal to his neck. "Let go!" My voice stronger and clearer than ever before. "This is Sting. YOu have seen it before once upon a time. Let go, or you'll feel it this time! I'll cut your throat!"
Gollum cumpled in a heap and Sam struggled to his feet rubbing his shoulder. His eyes blazed with anger. My own anger surpassing any of my attempts to quench it. I swung my foot out and kicked the wretched heap that cowered before me. My own eyes a fire, one hand gripping Sting the other lain on my chest just where the ring stay hidden. Gollum went reeling and was thrown against the cliff.
"Don't hurt us! Don't let them hurt us, precious!" Gollum pleaded. I sneered, he was so pathetic. But he wanted it. He would take it! And it was mine! I kicked the beast once more, not able to control my own actions and anger.
Sam's own anger turned quickly to fright as he watched me. I must say I was frightened myself as I beat the miserable creatured. Sobs welled up in his gobbling throat and I could not control my actions. He wanted it! He'd take it! It was mine! I held out Sting and put it right to his neck, feeling its power rush through me the voices now shouted in my mind blurring out all of Sam's cries for me to cease this madness. I was eye to eye with the creature now. Those two pale lits, fear was behind them now. And something else.
Perhaps it was the ring, or my own madness, but Gollum dissipated right infront of me. As if the wretched creature was just old tattered rags draped over some other creature. The two pale eyes turned quickly into round blue ones, brimming with tears, lit with fear and confusion. His long stragly hair were just wisps of mist and as the rags of the ancient creature fell I saw someone else. Dark curls and large frightened blue eyes. His skin was pale bathed in moonlight. He was small. Oh so small and frightened, his hand gripping desperately to something on his chest.
My own eyes widened with fear. I was looking right at myself! A complete mirror image of me cowered before me, frightened and confused. Just wanting to go back to his old life, live in piece with his friends and family, in his peaceful land that he loved and missed and feared would never see again.
It was then that I collapsed. Sting dropped from my grasp and my whole body caved. I felt arms around me and was looking up into Sam's fearful eyes. Gollum stood before me, once again Gollum, but still frightened and pitiful. All became hazy and then black. I heard Sam's voice echoing in my mind and no more.
Later I always looked back on that day. The day I realized just what I might have been if I didn't have Sam. If I had killed him, my most loyal and devoted friend, as Smeagol had done to his own. I realized just what Sam and I had, how it helped me overcome the ring's call for so very long. That one last grip of sanity I had with me. Ever and anon had I looked at Gollum I would sigh and a cry would well up inside me. This was me. If I had killed Sam it is what I would have become. And this is why I pity Smeagol so. If he hadn't killed Deagol, what would have become of him?
