Half A Chance – At Innocence

Dedication: Hey, this one is for you, Card Mistress, my first reviewer!

Now, I was reading over some of my old stuff earlier, and I noticed that in Crossing Paths I mentioned a line from a Leonard Cohen song, and thinking of it now, the line was used twice, but reversed. The song is called 'Story of Isaac' and after thinking about it, I realized the verse with the line I was thinking of in it reminded me of Hiiro. Make your own decision –

'And if you call me brother now

Forgive me if I inquire

'Just according to whose plan?'

When it all comes down to dust, I will kill you if I must, I will help you if I can

When it all comes down to dust, I will help you if I must, I will kill you if I can

Have mercy on our uniform

Man of peace or man of war

The peacock spreads his fan'

It made me think of Hiiro's conflicting interests, as the fact that he does worry about people, but in the end he'll do what the mission says, because he's a soldier and isn't supposed to be attached to anyone. And the first three lines, I suppose, is Hiiro not wanting to see past mission perimeters, so not really understanding if someone cared about him. As for the last three lines, well, maybe that's him asking for forgiveness because he doesn't understand a concept of family beyond blood relatives. Or, maybe just maybe I'm beginning to associate all songs to my fanfictions… and maybe I'm reading too much into the lyrics in my attempt to place them to Hii-chan. Oh yeah, and I got me two new manga! I got Utena and Ceres! And I sent Bebop manga to Leita!

Disclaimer: I get the feeling that you guys know what I do own, and can make assumptions at what I don't from that. Digimon belongs to TOEI Animation, FOXKids, and BANDAI. Gundam Wing belongs to SUNRISE, Cartoon Network, and Sotsu Agency. No suing.

(AN: Minako has hit that 'Can't Start This' path again)

The company looked at Hiiro in considerable shock.

"But if the dude is alive, and you know it, then why not just say that outright?" Taichi asked, not trying to mask his confusion.

Izzy, attentive as ever, quickly assessed the decision against his personal view of Hiiro, and it matched up. "It is important information that you are saving to tactical reasons, I'm guessing. It is obvious to assume that this person does not have any importance for yourself. And from what I can guess it would be beyond mission perimeters to gather information when you won't be using it yourself. It also seems that if someone's emotional welfare does not interfere with missions it would not matter for you. But still, you got this information, and it is also obvious to assume that the information is for Quatre, though his current state would not interfere with missions. So, why?"

Taichi felt the need to lighten the mood. "Izzy, you should never assume anything. It makes an ass of you an me!"

"But not of him?"

"Nope! Because he's too smart and for all we know he has ulterior motives. The fact of the matter is, you make it seem so easy for someone to not be affected by emotional situations. It may not affect any mission directly, but in a round-a-bout way, for some people, it would affect everything. I don't know if you saw how guilty Cat made himself when you wouldn't shut about the system or whatever, but I sure did."

The slight smirk on Hiiro's face didn't say anything to anyone, but Sora saw that he had an explanation. Whether or not he would say anything about it was beyond the point. He had an explanation.

"Hiiro, what's the explanation then?"

Hiiro looked at her with an expression something akin to 'You figured me out then.'

"Simple. Everything affects everything, and emotional welfare affects physical health. What I know can be used effectively in the right situation." Hiiro turned his back on them and began to walk away. While they began to process the information, Hiiro stopped and looked over his shoulder. "But maybe, just maybe, you could consider the possibility that I might actually care?"

Kari shivered as she noticed that some people had become so wrapped up in conversation they were able to ignore the terrible cold, or hear the whispers that spoke out to all fears deep inside. How they could do it she couldn't understand, for the negativity of this place held her firmly in it's grasp. It had before, and still did, even now. For a brief moment she thought about it. Isn't it obvious that it's only you and Ken who can be so affected by this place? A little obvious, wouldn't you say? But unlike most thoughts, this one didn't bear her own voice; more the voice of one of the demons that drifted around her. But, it was right. Only she and Ken were affected so badly, and thus only her and Ken needed to get out, and fast. But there isn't a way out, you just leave when you leave. She pushed the dark thoughts away, however hard that was, and attempted to talk to Ken. It was then she realized she had walked away from her original position absently, and was now standing near the softly breaking water. Who thought that a place I know to be so dark can seems so… what would be the words? She found them spoken aloud, and not by herself.

"It's beautiful…" it was a soft whisper, and she was sure she was the only one to hear it. "But… I know that it's wrong…"

Kari didn't bother to see who she was talking to. All the senses were blurred, and she never could tell who was speaking when people whisper. "How do you know it's wrong though? Could be the most right place in the world… or at least if could if you hadn't been before…"

"It just feels wrong."

No one would really be able to tell this place it wrong, without being told. The name could say it all, but Dark isn't necessarily wrong. This place though… it does just seem too wrong. But everyone has been told that, so they would never view this place as beautiful. So why don't you just take a look at who it is you're talking to?

Kari followed her thoughts with no question. She turned and faced Quatre, who looked far away.

"You've never been here, so how would know that it's wrong?" Kari's thoughts seemed to come in clearer, now she had something to concentrate on.

"It's… too much to be right. This place is alive…"

Kari nodded slowly and turned her gaze out to sea again. "Everything here is not what it seems… this place is alive, in that it is where the very emotions of people are gathered." The cold seemed to be tugging at her, trying to make her remember it was still there; the voices spoke less in whispers, trying to gain her attention. But she could ignore them, at least a little. She watched Quatre blankly, and sat when he did, as he began to trace soft circles in the gray sand. She felt the need to say something, anything, to break the far too silent silence (if that made any sense) regardless of whether or not it made any sense.

"I'm cold," she said quietly, "It makes me feel cold to be here, a little… but, it's not as cold as it used to be. No one else seems cold, they don't even seem bothered…" The spiral in the sand abruptly stopped, and Quatre looked at Kari. "You're cold?"

"Yeah… but then, I'm always cold when I come here, because I guess I come here far too much. I don't mean to though, I just keep ending up here… but are you cold? You haven't been here before, so you might be… but then, most of the others haven't been here before either…" Kari laid her hand on his, and drew back quickly. "You're freezing… are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just fine…"

That's so weird, I'm not so cold anymore… and those voices, they've gone… everything has cleared up. It's like… the effects are gone… She turned to Quatre, and noted that his eyes seemed different in color. No longer were they the darkened blue-green of only half an hour ago, but more a deep shade of gray. And now he seemed much more distant, and possibly more cold. Well, that really is strange… she watched half-heartedly as Gennai, Ken, and Hiiro came toward them.

Hiiro thought over and over what he has said to the other three. Just what had he meant when he told them he might care? He was a soldiers, and soldiers don't care about anything except the mission. I did it to throw them off track, that's why. They needed to be thrown off, their suspicions were too close… so why am I questioning myself about it when I know the truth? He was walking towards Quatre and the Hikari girl, but he was unsure as to exactly why. There were the other two people, the ones he hadn't been introduced to, following him, and he didn't know why. Oh well, let them do what they want, they don't concern you, was his line of thought. But something struck him. Something is wrong here. Hiiro didn't know why he knew that, but he did know that when he thought something was wrong, it generally is. He didn't take the time to notice his pace instinctively quicken, and before he knew it, he was where he wanted to be. Without thinking he voice two simple words.

"What's wrong?"

Kari looked up at him with a look that said 'Something?'

The winds seemed to pick up a little, but it wasn't cold. He looked from Hikari to Quatre, who was staring at him blankly. Hiiro noted that his eyes had taken on the deadened gray tone they seemed to do all too often, but his systems went on alert as he noticed the barely visible golden tint. He asked the question again, and recognized the urgent and panicked tone it had taken on.

"What's wrong?"

He was close to repeating the question a third time and grabbed Quatre's arm, to be met by a slight tap on him own. And then it hit him like a wall of bricks at the speed of sound.

His senses seemed to fade into whatever this was. He felt cold, terribly cold, a feeling he felt he'd never be able to shake off. His ears roared as a cacophony of loud voices speaking at once assaulted him. His vision blurred as everything seemed to turn dark. He pulled back, but still, it was there. His breathing hitched as he was bombarded by emotions, all negative. And then, among thousands of voices, and against the darkness, he heard the water slosh against the shore, and saw it shine brightly against the darkness, and it seemed at that moment to be the answer to everything.

Go into the Ocean.

He hadn't said it aloud, found no words to. Instead he walked slowly towards it, as if some part of him still told him that it was wrong. The voices flooded his ears, the darkness his vision, and the emotion returned, but he now knew what he had to do to make it stop. Go into the Ocean.

Wait! What are you doing?

Going into the Ocean to make this all go away… wait, this wasn't his own mind speaking. He turned back and saw the large group massed around, speaking to him with words he didn't hear against the mass of voices screaming at him. Their expressions blurred the harder he tried to see, so he gave up, and kept walking.

Don't go into the Ocean!

Why not? It was just some water. Good water, water that would take all this away…

That's where it's all coming from!

It's a body of water. Coldness, voices, darkness, emotions… they don't come from the water. Release does.

The first voice practically screamed in his mind.

GO INTO THE OCEAN! LET ALL OF THIS GO! GET RID OF THE HATE ANGER FEAR SORROW PAIN GUILT… GET AWAY!

It seemed there was an argument that did not involve him now.

No! You can't go into the Ocean, it's evil!

He could barely make out the flash of pink light near him, but then saw he had stopped, inches away from the softly breaking waters of the Ocean, and everything faded as he prepared to step into the cool clam waters and escape…

A feeble tug on his arm was enough to bring him to his senses. He was inches away, from waters that looked no longer welcoming but dangerous. The voices were loud again, but this time it was for all, and he shivered as chill winds blew by. Was this how this place was meant to be? How had it not been like this before then? He felt the small tug on his arm again, and then slip. He looked around and saw everyone staring at him, amazed. He pulled himself away from the Ocean. He knelt besides Quatre, and thanked Hikari for pulling him away. The smaller boy was trembling.

"Are you… are you alright, Quatre?"

He waited for an answer patiently. But he didn't get one he was expecting.

"I'm sorry…"

"No. Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry… I didn't meant to do that to you… I'm sorry…"

"Shh…" Hiiro pulled the smaller boy into an embrace, an action he wasn't quite sure of himself with. He noticed that his shirt seemed to be getting very wet, very fast. He felt a hand on his chest, on his heart, and he felt warm. He listened carefully to hear strained words.

"Hiiro… we are… friends… right?" Hiiro looked into dulled gray eyes which shut after the statement. Quatre was asleep. Hiiro carefully picked him up, and whispered something only he could hear.

"No… more like brothers…"

Hiiro watched silently as the surroundings faded back to the restaurant, and the small smile on the younger pilot's face told him everything. Hiiro knew that he heard.

And that made him feel all the better.

TO BE CONTINUED

Okay… that was odd. Can anyone say AWW the way I'm thinking? Never knew Hiiro had it in him… the explanation is, because there is no wars going on in this dimension, no mission, and no one he'd be showing himself up to, Hiiro feels a lot freer to express how he feels. He tells Quatre to stop apologizing, subconsciously understanding that Quatre was trying to keep the oppressive feelings of the Dark Ocean, and didn't mean to transmit them to Hiiro. Quatre specifically asks Hiiro if they are friends, regardless of whether he knew the answer, because he wanted Hiiro to say it, because he knew Hiiro would feel better having a least one friend. Till next time!