Mia sat at one of the small tables inside Ho's Deli, writing in her diary.
She looked up every so often, checking for Lilly.
Michael's been acting REALLY strange lately. Like, in G & T he'll just totally space when I'm doing a practice problem and he just starts staring at the wall. I have to practically knock him out of his chair to get him to come back to earth. At least, I think it's the wall he's staring at. Judith Gershner has also been in that direction several times. I think that there are only two possible explanations for why he's acting so weird: a. he likes Judith, or b. he's on crack. I'll deal with b first. it's easier. So, I really didn't think that Michael would do drugs or anything-I mean, he's got really good grades (Josh Richter, incidentally, is TOTALLY on steroids AND drugs, and his grades SUCK), and Michael's in really good shape (or at least, his upper body is), and he's got psychologist parents. And he's friends with Judith Gershner, who is DEFINITELY not doing anything. But, he DOES have a webzine called 'Crackhead', and his screen name IS 'CracKing', and he is awfully secretive. Mysterious.intriguing.totally hot.totally in love with housefly girl. Sigh. I bet he does like Judith Gershner. I mean, they're always hanging out together, and they go over to each others houses a lot, and their families know each other, and they're interested in the same things, and Judith is really pretty and smart and is involved in EVERYTHING- band, computer club, she volunteers at elementary schools, she tutors kids, AND she is still making through-the-roof grades. Plus, while I'm sitting there poking him and going "Michael.Michael.Michael, where are you? Michael, I'm done with my worksheet.Michael.MICHAEL!", she comes over while he's staring at the wall (or the seat where she used to be) and goes "Hey, Michael," and he jumps out of his chair and goes "What??" Wait, here's Lilly.
Well, it's decided now. There is no possible reason that Michael doesn't like Judith Gershner. I asked Lilly if her brother was on crack, and she said no. Actually, our conversation went like this:
Me: Er, so, um, Lilly, uh, can I ask you something about your, ah, brother?
Lilly: (gives me this funny look) Sure. What about the bee-brain delinquent?
M: Um, is he, uh, like, on crack?
L: WHAT?????
M: (pause) Uh, so, I um, guess that's a no?
L: Yeah, I think so. (pause). I mean, I know he isn't on anything, because if he was, Judith would know, and then he would be dead by freezing. Really, Mia, have you ever seen one of Judith's frigid glares? She'd give Michael a few of those and he'd be gooooooone.
M: Ah. I see. Well, that's good to know.
L: Yeah. Now, about the next taping of 'Lilly Tells It Like It Is'.
After that I sort of tuned out. But now that I know that Michael likes Judith, and I already knew that Judith likes Michael (why else would she wear tan pantyhose to school, I ask you?), my life has very little joy in it. Oh, brother, Judith and one of her senior year friends just came in.
Oh, was that ever funny. I mean, apart from the whole poor-sad-left-out-Mia- watching-from-the-side thing, that was funny. Here's how it went:
There were a bunch of boys and a few girls from Trinity and Albert Einstein at this long table sort of near Lilly and me, and when Judith and her friend came in, they all turned around and waved. And yelled.
"Hey guys, look who's here! Jumbo Judith and Hellcat Helen!"
"Step right up, folks, and get your front-row tickets for the most exciting show of your life! Watch Judith as she gives Maniac Mark a complete makeover, changing the very shape, size, and colour of his body! Watch as his face turns red, his shins fade from tan to white and then to purple, and numerous indentations appear all over his person!" Judith and her friend (almost blonde, wavy-ish hair, thin, medium height, delicate, pretty) Helen laughed and started slapping (and kicking) the boys. Then they sat down on the side farthest away from me and started talking, but I couldn't really hear what they were saying. Some more boys came in and sat down next to them-I don't know whether they're going out with Judith and Helen (or rather, if one of them is going out with Helen and the other is just a flirt, because Judith likes Michael) or if they're friends, or what. But they were flirting with the girls a lot. Which is a good sign. If one of them does end up going out with Judith, then Judith won't like Michael, and maybe Michael will stop liking Judith.
And maybe blue zombies from Venus will drop down in my glass of water right now and hand me a report card that says I'm getting an A+ in Algebra.
Judith and Helen just ran outside the deli and talked to Michael. They seemed to be telling him something, but he didn't seem too happy about it. As in, he looked completely panicked when they told him. And then jogged off away from Ho's. Judith and Helen left right afterwards. Must go help Lilly with the next taping.
Michael ran all the way back to the apartment , and all the way through the kitchen where a very surprised Maya was cleaning the floor until he reached his room. He opened up a file on his computer and typed in a password.
Judith is truly crazy. Out of her mind, wacko, delusional, delirious. On crack. Well, not on crack, because she's Judith, but she WOULD be if she weren't. Judith, I mean.
Huh. I just read through that and it doesn't make any sense at all. Oh well.
Helen isn't all there, either.
I ran into them (actually, they ran at me, and nearly knocked me flat on my back not only with what they said but by the sheer force of their combined personalities in close range) just as I was about to go into Ho's to get something to eat and talk with some of my Trinity friends who might be going to Columbia. But before I got within six feet of the door Judith and Helen came barreling out of it and told me that I couldn't go in there, because Mia was there and would be so emotionally distraught with her emotional distraughtness (that's a direct quote) and me being there that she would choke on air and fall over in a comatose state of more emotional distraughtness. Then there was something about how there was some guy from Trinity who really liked Judith but was really shy because Judith was being intimidating and if he saw Judith with me he might get the wrong idea, but I wasn't really listening to that because my brain was still on Mia. What did they mean, her seeing me would make her distraught? Did she hate me so much that just seeing me would give her the creeps and make her throw up? What had I done? Then I heard Helen say "Oh, look Judith, he's hyperventilating. Would you like to take care of it, or shall I?" And then next thing I know Judith has reached over and slugged me on my back hard enough to put a dent in my vertebrae. Once I had recovered my breath and decided that maybe I didn't have to be rushed to the emergency room right that very second I asked them if she hated me. Good old Judith knew exactly who I was talking about, although she didn't let me know it until she had stopped laughing and could stand on her own without needing Helen to hold her up. And that was when she dropped the atomic bombs (PLURAL) on me: she said Mia likes me! ME! Michael! As in the person who is sitting here typing in a stupid journal! Me!
They're both nuts, though, so I bet she doesn't. But she did dance with me at the Cultural Diversity dance, and she does ask me to help her with her Algebra homework, and she doesn't object when I intrude on her and Lilly's sleepovers. She also didn't have anyone else to dance with at the cultural diversity dance, doesn't really like Judith for some reason (not that I blame her, of course, Judith is rather frightening and doesn't exactly encourage people to approach her, but she does tutor people) and Judith is the only other person who would really be a logical choice to tutor her, and she can't really object because Lilly doesn't, and I also bring Pavlov and popcorn when I intrude. I wonder, though. Stop that, Michael, she doesn't like you.
That's pitiful, Michael, now you're talking to yourself. STOP IT. I think I'll go now, before I make a bigger fool of myself. Not that anyone will be reading this, of course. Must go. End of story. Bye.
A/N: The chapters will be shorter and farther apart now, because of school. Well, not school exactly, but the immense amounts of practicing I SHOULD be doing on flute and piano and am not right now. Beautiful music, though. REVIEW!!!!!
Thanks to: fuzzyfeelings- ME!!!!! Hahaha, yes I am actually wacko.
Kirjava- Thank you, Ria! I LOVE Philip Pullman, especially his The Tin Princess. Speaking of which, Harp, you need to give that back to me. That and Truth or Dairy. Booklover out for revenge, otherwise. I know where you live.and it's awfully close to me.but you'll give them nicely, won't you? Abby needs to read them. Would you like Wurst Case Scenario?
An Onymous- Yes, I know that it's a bit confusing the way it appears. Something about copying it from Word to ff.net messes it up. Thanks!
Cassandra Anthemyst- you need to write Ron/Hermione fics. That isn't a want, that's a need that must be fulfilled. Yes, things will look up for Judith (don't you love being able to put yourself in a character and have things happen to you as your character and pretend that they happen in real life, too?). I like Lilly, too. She reminds me of Lucy (from Peanuts comic strip-my favourite character from Schulz.)
Thanks again to my FOUR reviewers. Abby, you've read it, WHY HAVEN'T YOU REVIEWED???? I should have asked you yesterday. Hmph. REVIEW! REVIEW!
Michael's been acting REALLY strange lately. Like, in G & T he'll just totally space when I'm doing a practice problem and he just starts staring at the wall. I have to practically knock him out of his chair to get him to come back to earth. At least, I think it's the wall he's staring at. Judith Gershner has also been in that direction several times. I think that there are only two possible explanations for why he's acting so weird: a. he likes Judith, or b. he's on crack. I'll deal with b first. it's easier. So, I really didn't think that Michael would do drugs or anything-I mean, he's got really good grades (Josh Richter, incidentally, is TOTALLY on steroids AND drugs, and his grades SUCK), and Michael's in really good shape (or at least, his upper body is), and he's got psychologist parents. And he's friends with Judith Gershner, who is DEFINITELY not doing anything. But, he DOES have a webzine called 'Crackhead', and his screen name IS 'CracKing', and he is awfully secretive. Mysterious.intriguing.totally hot.totally in love with housefly girl. Sigh. I bet he does like Judith Gershner. I mean, they're always hanging out together, and they go over to each others houses a lot, and their families know each other, and they're interested in the same things, and Judith is really pretty and smart and is involved in EVERYTHING- band, computer club, she volunteers at elementary schools, she tutors kids, AND she is still making through-the-roof grades. Plus, while I'm sitting there poking him and going "Michael.Michael.Michael, where are you? Michael, I'm done with my worksheet.Michael.MICHAEL!", she comes over while he's staring at the wall (or the seat where she used to be) and goes "Hey, Michael," and he jumps out of his chair and goes "What??" Wait, here's Lilly.
Well, it's decided now. There is no possible reason that Michael doesn't like Judith Gershner. I asked Lilly if her brother was on crack, and she said no. Actually, our conversation went like this:
Me: Er, so, um, Lilly, uh, can I ask you something about your, ah, brother?
Lilly: (gives me this funny look) Sure. What about the bee-brain delinquent?
M: Um, is he, uh, like, on crack?
L: WHAT?????
M: (pause) Uh, so, I um, guess that's a no?
L: Yeah, I think so. (pause). I mean, I know he isn't on anything, because if he was, Judith would know, and then he would be dead by freezing. Really, Mia, have you ever seen one of Judith's frigid glares? She'd give Michael a few of those and he'd be gooooooone.
M: Ah. I see. Well, that's good to know.
L: Yeah. Now, about the next taping of 'Lilly Tells It Like It Is'.
After that I sort of tuned out. But now that I know that Michael likes Judith, and I already knew that Judith likes Michael (why else would she wear tan pantyhose to school, I ask you?), my life has very little joy in it. Oh, brother, Judith and one of her senior year friends just came in.
Oh, was that ever funny. I mean, apart from the whole poor-sad-left-out-Mia- watching-from-the-side thing, that was funny. Here's how it went:
There were a bunch of boys and a few girls from Trinity and Albert Einstein at this long table sort of near Lilly and me, and when Judith and her friend came in, they all turned around and waved. And yelled.
"Hey guys, look who's here! Jumbo Judith and Hellcat Helen!"
"Step right up, folks, and get your front-row tickets for the most exciting show of your life! Watch Judith as she gives Maniac Mark a complete makeover, changing the very shape, size, and colour of his body! Watch as his face turns red, his shins fade from tan to white and then to purple, and numerous indentations appear all over his person!" Judith and her friend (almost blonde, wavy-ish hair, thin, medium height, delicate, pretty) Helen laughed and started slapping (and kicking) the boys. Then they sat down on the side farthest away from me and started talking, but I couldn't really hear what they were saying. Some more boys came in and sat down next to them-I don't know whether they're going out with Judith and Helen (or rather, if one of them is going out with Helen and the other is just a flirt, because Judith likes Michael) or if they're friends, or what. But they were flirting with the girls a lot. Which is a good sign. If one of them does end up going out with Judith, then Judith won't like Michael, and maybe Michael will stop liking Judith.
And maybe blue zombies from Venus will drop down in my glass of water right now and hand me a report card that says I'm getting an A+ in Algebra.
Judith and Helen just ran outside the deli and talked to Michael. They seemed to be telling him something, but he didn't seem too happy about it. As in, he looked completely panicked when they told him. And then jogged off away from Ho's. Judith and Helen left right afterwards. Must go help Lilly with the next taping.
Michael ran all the way back to the apartment , and all the way through the kitchen where a very surprised Maya was cleaning the floor until he reached his room. He opened up a file on his computer and typed in a password.
Judith is truly crazy. Out of her mind, wacko, delusional, delirious. On crack. Well, not on crack, because she's Judith, but she WOULD be if she weren't. Judith, I mean.
Huh. I just read through that and it doesn't make any sense at all. Oh well.
Helen isn't all there, either.
I ran into them (actually, they ran at me, and nearly knocked me flat on my back not only with what they said but by the sheer force of their combined personalities in close range) just as I was about to go into Ho's to get something to eat and talk with some of my Trinity friends who might be going to Columbia. But before I got within six feet of the door Judith and Helen came barreling out of it and told me that I couldn't go in there, because Mia was there and would be so emotionally distraught with her emotional distraughtness (that's a direct quote) and me being there that she would choke on air and fall over in a comatose state of more emotional distraughtness. Then there was something about how there was some guy from Trinity who really liked Judith but was really shy because Judith was being intimidating and if he saw Judith with me he might get the wrong idea, but I wasn't really listening to that because my brain was still on Mia. What did they mean, her seeing me would make her distraught? Did she hate me so much that just seeing me would give her the creeps and make her throw up? What had I done? Then I heard Helen say "Oh, look Judith, he's hyperventilating. Would you like to take care of it, or shall I?" And then next thing I know Judith has reached over and slugged me on my back hard enough to put a dent in my vertebrae. Once I had recovered my breath and decided that maybe I didn't have to be rushed to the emergency room right that very second I asked them if she hated me. Good old Judith knew exactly who I was talking about, although she didn't let me know it until she had stopped laughing and could stand on her own without needing Helen to hold her up. And that was when she dropped the atomic bombs (PLURAL) on me: she said Mia likes me! ME! Michael! As in the person who is sitting here typing in a stupid journal! Me!
They're both nuts, though, so I bet she doesn't. But she did dance with me at the Cultural Diversity dance, and she does ask me to help her with her Algebra homework, and she doesn't object when I intrude on her and Lilly's sleepovers. She also didn't have anyone else to dance with at the cultural diversity dance, doesn't really like Judith for some reason (not that I blame her, of course, Judith is rather frightening and doesn't exactly encourage people to approach her, but she does tutor people) and Judith is the only other person who would really be a logical choice to tutor her, and she can't really object because Lilly doesn't, and I also bring Pavlov and popcorn when I intrude. I wonder, though. Stop that, Michael, she doesn't like you.
That's pitiful, Michael, now you're talking to yourself. STOP IT. I think I'll go now, before I make a bigger fool of myself. Not that anyone will be reading this, of course. Must go. End of story. Bye.
A/N: The chapters will be shorter and farther apart now, because of school. Well, not school exactly, but the immense amounts of practicing I SHOULD be doing on flute and piano and am not right now. Beautiful music, though. REVIEW!!!!!
Thanks to: fuzzyfeelings- ME!!!!! Hahaha, yes I am actually wacko.
Kirjava- Thank you, Ria! I LOVE Philip Pullman, especially his The Tin Princess. Speaking of which, Harp, you need to give that back to me. That and Truth or Dairy. Booklover out for revenge, otherwise. I know where you live.and it's awfully close to me.but you'll give them nicely, won't you? Abby needs to read them. Would you like Wurst Case Scenario?
An Onymous- Yes, I know that it's a bit confusing the way it appears. Something about copying it from Word to ff.net messes it up. Thanks!
Cassandra Anthemyst- you need to write Ron/Hermione fics. That isn't a want, that's a need that must be fulfilled. Yes, things will look up for Judith (don't you love being able to put yourself in a character and have things happen to you as your character and pretend that they happen in real life, too?). I like Lilly, too. She reminds me of Lucy (from Peanuts comic strip-my favourite character from Schulz.)
Thanks again to my FOUR reviewers. Abby, you've read it, WHY HAVEN'T YOU REVIEWED???? I should have asked you yesterday. Hmph. REVIEW! REVIEW!
