Half A Chance – At Innocence
Hey y'all! Sorry about the last chapter. Awful, I know. But I wasn't exactly inspired. This, however, is the last chapter. But never fear! For this is a Story Arc! And so, I'd like very much if you guys could bring my review total for this story up to 20. That would only take two reviews. But, I can't be sure of when the next story will be. Bear with me. Oh, and can anyone give me a site for angsty 3+4 fics? Please no one tell me www.txq.nu I've pretty much exhausted their resources. Oh yeah, go to that site. It's a great 3X4 dedicated place. Not enough of them around, you know… and would anyone give me some good (angsty once more) 1+4 fics? I need something to read…
Leita, I'm pretty sure you've waited for this. And I can't wait to continue our papers…
Card Mistress, you've given me so much support over these few weeks. Thanks ever so much!
Other reviews who I can't remember to name, you also have given me tons of support. I Just remember CM because she sends long-ish reviews every chapter.
Katoru, where are you? You haven't posted your fic, or reviewed me! Do both! Do both!
Minako: Last chapter you guys!
Hiiro: And so we descend upon the happy land of not…
Disclaimer: I'm in school. I wasn't born when the Gundam concept first came to be. I was 8/9 when Gundam Wing was released in Japan. I live in the UK, and always have. I get the feeling I don't own Gundam Wing. Do you?
"WHAT THE--?" Was the all too familiar phrase. And so we find our two heroes back home where they belong. Even in Sanq to be exact. In the school, actually. So imagine our confusion over them being shocked. Or rather, imagine our confusion that the shocked voice sounds remarkably like Taichi Yagami. Imagine our confusion when we see what looks remarkably like a dog-pile of the Chosen Children of D-2. Imagine our confusion when that's exactly what it is.
"How did—where are—what the—how the—when did—Gah! Form coherent sentences you dolt!"
In somewhere else about the school in Sanq, we find yet another lost person wandering around like a lost person would. Alas, dear Keika, you have been dragged into this abyss of confusion!
Back to our… heroes. I'll use the tern loosely.
"How exactly did we end up here? And where exactly is here? Could there have been some kind of rip in the rift? This is all so frustrating… I'm certainly not anywhere I recognize…" the Izumi youth mused loudly. The room, being a dorm room, was surprisingly dark; thick curtains drawn, and no lights on. Yep, just how it was left. Not surprising that our Chosen, who are yet to notice the pilots, all screamed as the door was abruptly opened. A blinking Noin and Relena entered. In a slight state of shock, Relena simply stated "Girls aren't supposed to be in boys dorm rooms!"
This was when the pilots decided to make themselves known. The Chosen noticed Relena simply glowing when she noticed someone else in the room, and Noin seemed equally pleased. She side-stepped the dog-pile and smiled.
"Welcome back. That was a rather… abrupt entry, if I don't say so myself. Why exactly is there a pile of people in here anyway?"
Hiiro smirked. It was strange how Noin could take all this in her stride. Well, actually it wasn't. It was obvious she'd been around Relena too much. One couldn't help but observe useless things like that in odd situations. It was obvious their… friends (loosely used!) had returned with them, unwillingly, apparently. So, Hiiro took the initiative to help them up and do the introduction bits we all loathe.
So, introductions aside, Relena showed them round, only to bump into Keika, who was more confused than ever. But, she saw Hiiro and smiled brightly. It was rather a Relena-esque move. But now, later, she spotted him. Hiiro, that kind person she had met not only days ago. Yes, kind. He was nice, and pleasant, albeit rather unorthodox, and he was rather the looker. Not to mention he had a nice voice. He was fencing, with a fork-eyebrowed young woman by the name of Dorothy Catalonia. Keika seemed to get the impression she was important, and listened closely to the match, as Dorothy was asking Hiiro questions. Questions that she was SURE he was giving the wrong answers to. But then, abruptly, it ended. With Dorothy beaten, Hiiro trailed off on his own, like she had seen him do often in just two short days. She had been under the impression he was close friends with Quatre, as they barely left each other's sides, but they seemed a LOT more detached here. And it was obvious to her that this Relena woman has some sort of thing for Hiiro, however small. She seemed more like she'd been more over the top previously, but now was content with watching. Like she'd seen something special, and it wasn't between her and him…
As she noticed Hiiro's rather uncouth attitude, she noticed he didn't talk much, didn't joke like he always did, was reclusive and wandered off without telling anyone. Basically, he was an cold loner at the moment, it seemed. She had to wonder; what had provoked such a change? How could he be so different all of a sudden? Was it the people he was with, where he was? As she watched carefully, she noted that not one of the people who seemed to belong here noticed. So, now she would confront him.
"Hey, Hiiro!"
"Hn."
He leaned against a wall, and she studied his profile. Man, he was gorgeous!
"Well, I was wondering if you would like to join the rest of us in a game? I think we're playing Monopoly or something silly like that!"
"Hn."
Her smiled faltered. It seemed he wanted to be left alone.
"So, do you want to?"
"I'm busy. Leave me alone."
"But… Hiiro… why? You're acting so differently now…"
"Catch the drift. Leave me alone. Do you think I care about your trivialities? Do you think you know me?"
This time she was in a slight state of shock.
He was starting off again. She said the only thing that came to her.
"Who… who are you?"
He seemed to hesitate slightly, as if stung. But he turned his back on her, and walked away. But as he left, she caught what he said.
"Not who you think."
(Skipping a bunch of stuff – meet Epyon!)
Hiiro couldn't have gotten out of the cockpit faster if he wanted to. This new Gundam, it had that god-awful system in it. He'd tried the system before. It was the same this time though. Slowly, he lost his sense of self. The machine was taking over, telling him how to achieve this mission. He was barely aware of what he was doing. He was moving, attacking, but he could barely tell. Now all he wanted was to get away from that accursed system and that accursed machine more than ever.
It was a dizzying blow. To suddenly thrown back into this, after a few weeks of peace, and regular human interaction. It was a blow that hurt like hell, because it was fate telling him once again that there was a war going on, and he was one of the few who could stop it. He felt alone. It didn't even make sense any more. In the beginning it was so simple. He fought to protect the colonies. But then, the colonies turned against him. But still, he kept fighting. Who was he fighting for now though? Sanq. He was trying to protect the pacifist nation. But wasn't it hypocritical to use weapons to protect a nation promoting total pacifism? He was lost in the myriad of tangled thoughts brought to the front of his mind by the system. He was forced to question himself, and that is not what a soldier should do. They should be sure of what they're thinking. The system, it had made him want to fight so much. He kept looking for his enemy, kept seeing it in everyone. It was frustrating.
He was interrupted from his reverie by the harshly echoing sound of someone running in his general direction. He noted dimly at that time that he was on the floor, curled up, and resting his head on his arms, positioned over his knees, and slowly his arms were becoming a little damp. Crying. He was crying. How long had it been since he'd cried? It felt like forever. Memories flooded him as the dams broke. He was scared, sad, angry at his weakness…
He was alone.
It was more like he'd realized for the first time, he was alone. He'd always been alone. But it had never bothered him. He'd never needed anyone to talk to, anyone to support him, anyone to care. But now, he did. And there was no one. He was truly alone. And it felt awful.
He may have been closing himself off from all distractions, but somehow he couldn't ignore there was someone next to him now. He was blinking through tears, to try and see. But he wasn't used to crying. He was lost.
"Hiiro…"
He could hear fine, even though it felt as if his heart throbbed in his ear.
"Quatre."
He hadn't noticed just how cold he was feeling until now, as he was drawn into a comforting embrace. In the weeks they had been in that other world, the action had become almost commonplace. But it had been the other way around. Now it was he being protected against the demons that threatened him. It was still strange.
"I… I don't want to do this anymore!" He suddenly blurted. It felt good to say it. He kept talking, the words tumbling over each other.
"I don't want to fight anymore! Children… children aren't supposed to fight wars! Children aren't supposed to kill! But that's all I am… I'm just a kid… how did this happen? Why me? I don't want to do it now! I don't want to kill anymore! Why can't it just stop?" His self-control lost, he wept. He wept for all those he'd killed in battle, all those innocents he'd accidentally killed, all the times he'd done things he didn't want to do. He cried, and cried, as though he couldn't stop.
"Shh… it's okay to cry. No one wants to fight anymore, no one ever wanted to. But you have a pure heart, and you must show this world what war does. Set them an example so this wont happen again."
Hiiro cried until there were no more tears to cry. It was strange. After holding in everything for so long, he felt as though somehow he'd been cleansed. And now, as he felt himself grow a little stronger, he noticed that perhaps he hadn't been the only one crying. And so now he knew.
He was no longer alone.
*~*~*
Ken wandered around the place as he saw lights streaming onto balconies, contrasting against the darkness outside. He wasn't lost, just not sure of where exactly he was going, or why. Then he felt he knew the reason.
Looking up he could see the light flitting over spherical shapes that drifted into the night sky and disappeared. He almost laughed to himself. Bubbles, he thought. It had been such a long time since he'd done something as childish as blowing soap bubbles, and he was sure no one in this school would do such a thing. He moved closer, and watched the bubbles. He couldn't see who was blowing them, but he saw largish bubbles bouncing around, and multitudes of almost uniform-sized ones following. He smiled more.
Hiiro and Quatre were giggling and blowing bubbles like it was something one would do every day. Ken watched, and said nothing, as memories divulged him. Memories of his brother(1). He couldn't help but smile at them, as he noted he could remember the good along with the bad once again. And he focused on the good. He remembered how his brother had told him how kind and gentle he was, and how he should never loose that. But then, he did. Ken couldn't forget that part. It was then he didn't notice the apparatus for bubble-blowing being practically shoved in his face. He took the stuff, and blew his own special bubbles. The ones his brother always prided him in doing.
It was funny, how something as simple as soapy water and circles, could make him remember who he had been, and who he wanted to remain. It was like he was being taught a lesson about childhood by people he thought had never truly had the chance to be children. But then, when he thought about it, he realized maybe he was wrong.
Perhaps instead of viewing these two pilots as people forced to grow up too fast, forced into a world where adults belong, he should see them as he did now. Perhaps they were much wiser, more mature than many other children, but they were children all the same, ones who never got the chance to grow up. All they were doing was showing the world what children become. Maybe instead of being stained in blood, they were more innocent then most.
As the night passed by, Ken couldn't help but dwell on these thoughts. Perhaps all of us are innocent in war until the blood spilt doesn't mean anything to us. Or maybe he was wrong. Well, it didn't really matter.
If they had a chance, a chance for Innocence, where would it be?
Well, they had half a chance.
--END—
(1) If you've watched Digimon 02 you know there is this whole episode about Ken, and it has a lot about blowing bubbles. You see, Ken's brother Sam said that Ken was better at blowing bubbles because he was kind and gentle, while Sam would try and get his too big too fast and they would pop. Then Sam died and Ken went crazy. Sound familiar? Thought so. If it doesn't, think about it a little more carefully.
Thus ends Half A Chance – At InnocenceReview!
