A/N I don't own anything to do with Star Wars, etc. A reviews is always a nice thing.


(Cut to Anakin and Padme entering the lightsaber shop Anakin stopped by earlier, along with Obi and Co.)

Anakin: There it is. The mega 6-THX Lucasfilm Limited Edition. (Bows his head before the lightsaber)

Padme: WOW! Super gratified plastic compound, pure coloring dye, and a signature from George Lucas himself!

Anakin: (calling over to nearby worker) Excuse me, sir. Would you mind letting me have a look at this device?

Worker: (gives Anakin pathetic look) Okay.

(Pulls lightsber out of case, hands it to Anakin, who begins to swing it around wildly. Worker quickly stops him and points to sign above door that says No stairway to the Force)

Anakin: (looks incrediously at camera) No stariway! Denied!

( Meanwhile Obi is sneaking up on Mace Windu, who is putting the moves on Mara Jade)

Worker: (looks annoyed at Anakin) All right, that's enough, hand it over bub.

Anakin: Not today, my good sir. I think I'm going to buy it. Can you say. . . credits! (pulls out credits) CA-CHING!

(In background, Obi is being chased by Mace Windu, who has just been pantsed)

(Cut to Qui-Gon's Donuts that night: A frusturated Sebulba is sitting at a counter top next to Qui-Gon)

Sebulba: I can't believe it, I got done today!

Qui-Gon: (grimaces evilly) I know how that feels.

Sebulba: No, I mean I actually lost another podrace today! You know what I want to do?

Qui-Gon: ( looking a bit insane now) Yeah, I know what you'd like to do. Find the sucker who beat you. Rip his very heart out, so he can see how weird it is before he dies.

Sebulba: ( looks worried) Uh, actually, I was just planning to get a new podracer.

Qui-Gon: (smiles simply) Well the galaxy's a twisted place my friend.

( Sebulba quickly leaves. Meanwhile, Anakin is singing a song Padme in the Sky with Lasers)

Padme: (grinning, cheers) Yeah!

Obi: (suddenly seeing Natalie Portman look-alike) Woah! There she is! (can only stare at her, is suddenly thrown back onto floor; Mace Windu pretends to not be involved)

Obi: (sits up grinning sheepishly) Oops. I fell.Anakin, what do you do if every time you see this woman you think you'e gonna hurl?

Anakin: I say hurl. If you blow and she comes, she's yours. If you blow and she shoots you with a laser, it was never meant to be.

Padme: (looks at Obi confused) Why don't you just go talk to her?

(Dissolve into Obi fantasy; he walks over, turns on record player,starts playing song Forcy to tune of Foxy)

Obi: ( lip-synching, gutting his stomach out in seductive manner) Forcy! ( continues to dance towards Natalie Portman look alike in seductive manner) Forcy!

(Natalie Portman look alike starts smiling at him)

Obi: (Lip-synching) Well you know you're a little star faker! Forcy!
And you know you're a little Alderaanian breaker! Forcy!

Obi: ( starts swinging his whole body) I wanna take you home! I'm a Jedi, no harm, yeah! Your Force is all mine! All mine! Forcy Lady!

(Grins in goofy manner)

Obi: Here I come! I've got the Force to prove it honey!

(Fantasy ends. Obi is stil sitting at the table, grinning stupidly at the Natalie Portman look alike)

(Anakin and Padme share annoyed looks)

(Cut to Anakin, Obi, and Padme all entering Darth Maul's personal apartment)

Anakin: (admiring room) Yes! Maul, man, you know how to live!

Maul: Thank you. Shall we go look out on my deck? (Padme and Anakin follow, Obi motions to camera to follow him)

Obi: Does something seem funny to you about this? I mean, if I had a girl as hot as Padme, I wouldn't take her to a place like this. This Maul guy is obviously a player, man!

(Notices books on shelf)

Obi: What's this? How to Use the Dark Side to Seduce Women? Sith To Your Advantage? Nothing Turns a Woman On Like a Black Cloak? ( winks at camera) I told you.

( Finds little personal journal, reads latest entry)

Obi: ( Reads entry) Purchase galaxy-access show by two Jedi and wipe out their order's existance.

Obi: (grins at camera) Boy. I sure feel sorry for those suckers!

(Finds little bottle)

Obi: (reads off brand name) Horny For Her Pleasure (looks at camera) Ewwwww!

(Meanwhile, Anakin is dropping water balloons off Maul's deck, much to Padme's delight. Maul comes out, quickly throws away book from deck, titled The Sensitive Naboo Woman)

Maul: Hey, I figured you would want the Naboo Delight.

Padme: (looks overjoyed) Oh boy, I love that stuff!

(Anakin smiles his agreement)

Maul: ( looking at them) Shall we order out? I know a lovely native Naboo resturaunt that does delivery.

( Anakin and Padme nodd their agreement)

Maul: (Calls up number on phone) Hello? Mesa wanta die four besta meals yousa havin. Mesa wanta yousa bringa Nabooie Delightie. Mesa thank yousa! (hangs up)

Padme: Wow! I didn't know you could speak Gungan!

(Anakin looks pissed off, glares across to other deck on building: A Tusken Raider sitting out on chair notices, quickly runs inside)

Maul: I've studied an assortment of languages over time. Your particular dialect of English sounds familiar to those native to the mainstream Naboo village.

Pamde: Yeah! That's where I was born!

Maul: (pretends to grin modestly) There you go.

Anakin: (looks at camera) This guy's good.

Maul: By the way, I order the Naboo Via. It's a variation of the original, but I hear it's a vast improvement.

Anakin: Ah yes, in many ways it's like the prequel Star Wars triology. In many ways it's superior, but will never be as acclamed as the orginal one.

(Maul and Pamde look at Anakin: he grins stupidly)

Obi: (comes out on porch) Okay. I think we should go now.

Maul: Oh, wait you guys, here, these are for you. (pulls out two tickets)

Anakin: WOW! Backstage passes to Alice Vader!

Maul: I thought you guys would like this. (grins at Padme) Meanwhile, we can get to work on your music video.

(Maul turns back to Anakin, doesn't notice Padme pretending to fake-vomit)