Disclaimer:  This is my rather embarrassing attempt to write a parody based on the books by J.K. Rowling.

Summary:  This is a parody of the Harry Potter books.  One night, I was extremely bored, and in the mood to write.  The rest is history.

A/N:  Here's the prologue of the saga, "Harry's Revenge".  Please note that this prologue sort of evolved from an actual story I had written.  This version has been extremely modified, as the real story, "Secrets of Hogwarts", was all too disturbing to post as a prologue to "Harry's Revenge".

Harry's Revenge

Prologue

Harry tossed in his bed on Privet Drive as his thoughts turned to Hogwarts and his up-coming school year.  Harry was very confused with the various feelings he had for some of his friends (and enemies) at Hogwarts.  Deeply disturbed as he was that Ron's kid sister, Ginny, had a rather unhealthy infatuation with him, Harry decided he would have to set her straight about his feelings towards her.  Also confusing Harry, were his newfound feelings towards Draco Malfoy.  More and more during the summer, Harry had wished that he had taken up Malfoy's offer of friendship during their first meeting at Hogwarts.

"God, if only I shook his hand!  I know from the first moment I saw him in Madam Malkin's that we should be friends...  Or more than friends..." Harry said as he stood up to gaze longingly at the moon, thinking of Draco's perfectly proportioned face and his gray eyes...

*~*~*

Far away from Privet Drive, one other Hogwarts student was gazing at the moon through his open window.

"Ah, that breeze feels so good... warm and sweet.  Kind of like the breath of my beloved Pott—"

Draco cut off, his face suddenly stony.

"Damn that Potter.  And these feelings!  I've never felt this way before...  But... surely I don't... *love* that freaking Potter.  I insult him all the time.  Why though?"

Draco paused thoughtfully, and then realized, "It's all his fault.  If he wasn't so bloody stuck up, I wouldn't be so unnecessarily mean.  If only he had held my hand when I tenderly held it out to him that fateful day at Hogwarts..."

Sadly, Draco walked to his bed, and fell asleep imagining the one and only, Harry Potter.

*~*~*

A whistle blew at King's Cross Station on the morning of September first as Harry thought wistfully of Draco (not knowing that Draco shared his feelings), but was interrupted as the large and rambunctious Weasley clan.  Harry smiled and waved at his friend, Ron, and glared at Ginny, whose shy smile faltered at the sight of Harry's malicious demeanor.

"Hi, Harry!" Ron said happily.  "I see you survived the Dursleys."

"Yeah, just barely, though," Harry replied.

Hermione Granger soon joined Harry and the Weasleys as they made their way towards platform 9 and 3/4.  Just a moment after Hermione had joined the group, Harry spotted Draco, in all his glory.

His lackeys, Crabbe and Goyle, flanked Draco as he walked through King's Cross Station, sneering at all the Muggles.  As they neared the barrier that led to the platform, Draco caught a glimpse of Harry Potter.  For a moment, Draco was left speechless, until he realized Potter was staring back.  Draco shouted an insult uncontrollably.  "Hey, Scarhead, can't make it to the train without Weasel?"  Appalled that he could say such a thing to Harry, Draco quickly looked away from the hurt expression on Harry's face.

The school year began normally enough for both Harry and Draco.  However, the feelings within their bodies intensified with their every chance meeting.

Halloween

The Halloween Feast

By Halloween, Harry could barely contain himself every time he saw Draco.  Harry was gazing at Draco from across the Great Hall when Hermione suddenly said, "Harry, what on earth are you doing?  Every time we're in the Great Hall or Potions class, your face constantly has a glazed look.  Ron's noticed it too.  We're worried about you Harry.  What's going on?"

How could she ever understand? Harry thought.  Instead of replying, Harry stared into his plate, and shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine!" Hermione said in an exasperated voice.  "I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do."

She hurriedly gathered her books, and rushed off to the library.

Harry rolled his eyes, and thought, 'Typical.  Luckily for me, there's nothing in the library she's going to find.'

However, instead of continuing to stare at Draco, Harry thought it would be wise to continue as if nothing had happened, and began discussing Quidditch with Ron.

After the Halloween feast, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the other Gryffindors set off to the dormitories to finish their homework.  Before they had reached the doors, however, Harry was violently pushed forward as someone slammed him hard from behind.  About to tell the shovee off, Harry turned, his expression turning quickly from anger to surprise.  Draco had shoved him, and was grinning at Crabbe and Goyle.  Harry stalked away from the scene torn between lust and loathing for that damn Draco Malfoy.

Halloween

Before the Feast

Draco wrote feverishly on a small piece of parchment as he quickly formed a plan to get to Harry.

Halloween

After the Feast, in Gryffindor Dormitory

Harry told Ron and Hermione what happened in the Great Hall when Draco pushed him.

"That--" (Ron called Draco something that made Hermione say, 'RON!') "He had no right to do that to you!"

Hermione, however, refrained from speaking as she eyed Harry's sorrowful expression suspiciously.

Thinking quickly, Harry stated that he was exhausted, and went up to the boy's dormitory.

As Harry undressed, he unconsciously emptied the contents of the pockets of his robe, and was surprised to find a piece of parchment carefully folded within it.  "What the…" Harry muttered to himself.  He unfolded the parchment and silently read:

'Dearest Harry,

I have admired you from afar, cleverly masking my emotions with a veil of hatred.  However, the time has come for me to tell you how I really feel.  Please meet me in the trophy room at midnight on Wednesday.

Draco Malfoy'

Harry's heart leapt as he saw Draco's signature.  "Well," he said quietly, putting the parchment inside a library book, "I reckon it's time to take out my father's cloak again…"

After anxiously waiting for three days, Harry quietly slipped between the curtains of his four-post bed fifteen minutes to midnight, and put on his invisibility cloak as he crept out of the room.  Moments later, he arrived at the trophy room, where he found Draco pacing; evidently waiting for Harry.  Silently, Harry pulled off the cloak, and approached Draco, tenderly stroking his neck.  With a start, Draco turned to face Harry, and his expression softened.

"I see you got my note," Draco said sheepishly.  "I... I wasn't sure you would come."

"I'd do anything for you," Harry said, unable to suppress the longing in his voice.

"Yeah, well, anyway, there's something I've been waiting to say for months.  Harry, I think I'm gay."

"Yeah, me too.  How long have you known that you are gay?" Harry inquired.

"This summer.  I imagined a summer breeze as your sweet breath."

Harry smiled.  "I've known for years.  My cousin, Dudley, has a friend…  He and I shared a rather intimate experience when we were 6."  He paused.  "However, my feelings have changed since I've been at Hogwarts."

Draco smiled.  Sitting on a bench, he coyly gestured Harry to sit with him.  Draco's shy gestures lead to what would become nearly a week of passion. 

After waking late one morning following a passionate night with Draco, Harry could be seen flying down the corridors, and through the door to the dungeon.  After receiving a large deduction of house points from Snape for being tardy, Harry took his seat between Ron and Hermione, immediately noticing the smug look on Hermione's face.  Dreading what would come after class, Harry busied himself with his work.

After class, Harry found it impossible to avoid Hermione.  Wasting no time, she pulled Harry aside and began speaking to him.

"I know what you've been up to.  I was in the library when I found a book you had checked out.  There was an interesting bit of parchment inside it…"

She paused and gazed intently at Harry, who was staring, horrified, at nothing in particular.

"I went to the trophy room on Wednesday and hid in a closet.  I heard everything.  How could you, Harry?  I mean… MALFOY?  It was pretty obvious you were gay, but, how could you fall for Malfoy?"

Dreamily, Harry said, "How could I not?  He's beautiful… Sure, he is slightly evil, but something about the way he speaks to me…"

Disgusted, Hermione continued, "Well, what are you going to do about Ginny?  She worships you, you know."

"Yeah, I know.  It's really just a childish infatuation.  I thought I dealt with it though—I've been shooting her nasty glares every chance I get."

"That's horrid.  You need to talk to her… Or I will.  And I won't leave anything out," Hermione finished impressively as she walked quickly out of sight.

After putting off his unpleasant task for nearly a month (but continuing to fire dangerously hateful looks in Ginny's direction), Hermione again pressured Harry to speak with Ginny, although, this time she gave him until the end of the evening to complete the duty.

After dinner, Harry arrived in the Gryffindor common room dreading what he was about to undertake.  He walked straight to Ginny, to tell her how he felt.  "Ginny," he said, "Can I have a word?"

Soundlessly, she followed him to an empty corner.

"Ginny, will you come to the Christmas dance with me?"  Damn it, he thought, why the hell did I do that???

Astounded, Ginny replied, "Er…  I'm afraid not, Harry.  I'm totally over you.  I think you're an ass, to tell you the truth."

"Oh cool.  That's good.  I really wanted to ask someone else, anyway," Harry said, smiling.

Ginny promptly slapped him and stalked out of the room.

As Christmas approached, Harry was becoming less and less popular.  Somehow word had leaked that he was gay, and that Draco was his male lover.  He was receiving even more ridicule from Slytherins, but, somehow, it didn't matter.  Harry decided to boycott the Christmas dance when Dumbledore told him he wouldn't be allowed to take Draco to the dance.  Nevertheless, essentially, Harry was happy.

However, Harry's bliss was soon to end.

"Harry," Draco said one crisp January morning. "There's something we need to talk about.  I'm not sure we can do 'this' anymore.  I just don't feel the same way about you as I used to."

"What?!" Harry said, feeling faint.  "What's happened?  Is there someone else?"

"Well.. As a matter of fact, I've developed feelings for Ginny Weasley.  She just really developed over the summer… She developed in a way you'll never understand or appreciate.  Anyway, last night we announced our undying love to each other."

Harry stared at Draco, tears brimming in his eyes.

"Harry," Draco ventured timidly, "Are you okay?"  Man, he looks sexy like that--his hair falling just so in his eyes…  And he looks so vulnerable, Draco thought.  Perhaps he had made the wrong decision…

"Yeah.  Yeah, sure," Harry said, blinking back his tears as he ran across the frozen grounds to the looming castle.

For the rest of the year, Harry vowed to stay away from Draco, but remained miserable.  He had several flings with various Slytherins, but no one could replace Draco. 

As the train left Hogwarts, Harry found himself continually snapping at Ron and Hermione, who eventually left to find another compartment.  Reveling his solitude, Harry miserably recalled the few short weeks he had spent with his soul mate.