Harry's Revenge

Disclaimer:  This is my rather embarrassing attempt to write a parody based on the books by J.K. Rowling.

Summary:  This is a parody of the Harry Potter books.  One night, I was extremely bored, and in the mood to write.  The rest is history.

A/N:  Here's the continuation of the saga that is 'Harry's Revenge.'  Thanks to crayon, Shinigami, memmas, DarkAngelChick, BeatleFan, AtieJen, babyphatcat13 memealex28, and duchibum for leaving reviews!  They really motivate me to keep writing *hint, hint*…

Chapter 7

"Dr—Draco?" Harry stuttered tentatively as the darkened, blonde-haired figure materialized from the shadows.

Instead of answering him, however, Draco gazed at Harry warily as he skirted around Harry and the now-silent Big Q.  Just as Harry had been sure that Draco was going to sprint to the nearest teacher (if he could find one who hadn't been struck down by the petrificus totalus spell), Draco stopped, and eyed Harry with his head cocked, a curious expression upon his face.   However, the curiosity was quickly replaced by, what Harry thought was rather feigned, loathing.

"Yes, Potter?" he replied, accenting 'Potter' ruthlessly.  "Is Mister Potter demonstrating his insanity by speaking to his quill?"

Harry blushed, but raised his chin defiantly.  "How did you know?" he breathed in a meek voice—well there goes my attempt at being gallant, he thought to himself.

Draco started, "You're not even going to deny it?"

Clenching his teeth, he asked louder, "How did you know?"

"Ginny found out last night, and sought me out.  I gave her the Slytherin password."

Harry's mouth fell open a little as an injured expression contorted his face.  "You never gave me your password…"

"That's because I never l—" Draco began, but paused as the words caught in his throat.  "I never loved you," he whispered in a barely-audible voice.

Harry's eyes filled with distraught tears.  Willing himself not to cry before the object of his affection, Harry shamefully tried to blink away his tears.  "Of course you didn't.  You found Ginny," he finished with a flourish.  Hate suddenly coursing through his veins, Harry leapt to his feet and began to lope down the darkened corridor.

"Harry!  Wait!" he heard.  Reluctantly, Harry stopped; dreading what abuse he would be forced to take.  Several seconds later, Draco stopped next to Harry.  "Harry, I have to tell you something."

Dismally, Harry began, "Wh—" but Draco cut him off as he hastily moved in to kiss Harry.  Of course, Harry leaned in and shut his eyes as well.  However, when the kiss didn't come, Harry's eyes flew open.

"What was wro—" Harry began.  Again, he was silenced.  This time, however, he was silenced by the slap he received from Draco.

"How dare you get fresh with me, you gay loser," he said as he began to stalk off.

Mournfully, Harry also began to slowly trudge toward Gryffindor Tower to sort through the mess he had gotten himself into.

Unbeknownst to Harry, however, was the fact that Draco had paused to watch Harry walk away.  "Why must I push him away so?" He asked fiercely as he watched the raven-haired figure gingerly rub his cheek.

*~*~*

"Damn it…" Harry breathed as he opened the portrait of the Fat Lady to see a room swarming with the early-rising Gryffindors.  He rolled his eyes at two first years that had eagerly tried to engage him in conversation.  "I have bigger fish to fry," he said dismissively.

He sat in the quietest corner he could find, and tried to think a way out of his current situation.  "How am I going to un-paralyze eleven people, and not get myself turned into the Ministry of Magic?" he groaned.  Thought he had asked a rhetorical question, Big Q decided to give some input.

"Aren't you some sort of a lame-ass wizard?  Even you should be able to put a Memory Charm on them…"

"But I don't know how to do the freaking charm.  It's too advanced—HERMIONE!"  He promptly dropped Big Q on the floor as he sprinted to the girls' dormitories without apprehension.  Bursting through the door, Harry heard the frightened gasps and squeals of girls as they quickly pulled their bed curtains closed.  In her own right, Hermione looked petrified.

"I'm gay I don't want to see you scantily clad females," Harry said exasperatedly, as he slunk to Hermione's bed.  Grabbing Hermione by the wrist, he pulled her quickly and efficiently to the common room, which, miraculously, had emptied out.  Harry chose to ignore the fact that Hermione was still looking up at Harry through fearful eyes and was locating all the exits in the room; reminding Harry strongly of Neville.

"Good grief, Hermione, I'm not going to use the Binding Spell on you!"  Harry said rather loudly.  Then snapped his eyes shut as he realized his blunder.  "Er—I mean, Hermione, I need your help."

Instantly, her body tensed.  "Wha—what do you need me to do?" she asked shakily.

Though Harry had originally decided he would force Hermione to place the Memory Charms on his victims, he decided to change his tactics.  "Well, I was—erm—falling behind in Charms class, and Professor Flitwick agreed to give me—uh—extra credit if I could perform a certain spell.  Anyway, can you show me how to do perform a Memory Spell?"

Hermione remained reticent a moment longer before agreeing.  "Okay," she said uncertainly.  "You just point your wand at the individual whose mind you want to erase, and say, 'Obliviate'… but, Harry, you must use extreme caution when using the—"

"Obliviate!" Harry's voice echoed through the empty common room.  Immediately, Hermione's eyes crossed and a look of extreme contentment crossed her face.  She then looked stupidly at Harry and asked, "Do the trees cross the stream to eat meat loaf?"

Harry laughed softly to himself, and steered Hermione in the direction of the girls' dormitories.  When she had left the common room to stumble up the stairs, Harry turned to the cupboard in which he had left Ginny and Neville.  He opened the doors, and dragged Ginny and Neville out to lay them flat on the floor.  Harry muttered the counter spell to Petrificus Totalus, and tried used the Memory Charm on Neville.  After trying to voice a few incoherent thoughts, Neville looked into Harry's (slightly disgusted) face, clearly expecting some form of response.  "Try looking through there…" Harry began as he pointed to the portrait hole.  Upon realizing that his words were making little sense to Neville, Harry steered Neville to the door.

Finally, Harry was left with only a stiffened Ginny for company.  He stood over her, smiling into her comprehending eyes.  She knew what he was about to do.  She knew the power he held over her.  Yet she was powerless to defend herself.  After several moments of staring daggers at one another, Harry finally performed the counter curse to Petrificus Totalus, but, instead of swiftly obliterating the memory she held of Harry's tirade, he allowed her memory to remain in tact (though his wand was still pointed threateningly at the now standing Ginny).

"Well, Ginny Weasley, look who has the upper-hand now?"

Within the blink of an eye, Ginny had pulled out her own wand, and had pointed it at Harry—daring him to make a move.  "My, how pompous you are, Potter.  It wasn't for nothing that I spent six years as a Little Witch Scout.  Can you guess our motto?"

She cast a spell to make Harry's lips move without his consent, as, like a ventriloquist, Ginny's own voice poured through the mouth of Harry, "Always be prepared!"  Ginny cackled at her cleverness, and proceeded to taunt Harry; threatening to tell the whole school that not only was the Famous Harry Potter utterly psychotic, but that he had performed the Petrificus Totalus spell on no less than twelve people, and then proceeded to obliterate the minds of two of his victims.

"Ah, I can see it now…  Not only will you be banished from Hogwarts, but also you'll probably be sent to Azkaban.  Ah, vengeance so sweet.  You have no idea how long I've waited for this moment.  You have no idea how long I've waited for the Perfect Harry Potter to get his comeuppance," she sneered.  After a moment, she began pacing unconcernedly around the common room, contemplating, aloud, who she should inform first—their twinkle-eyed headmaster, Albus Dumbledore; or the rather incompetent Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge.

At one moment that Ginny had her back turned, Harry took advantage.  "Expelliarmus!" he bellowed.  Ginny's wand flew from her hand, and into the grasp of Harry.  "How dare you threaten me?" he seethed.

Harry conjured ropes to bind the fiery-haired wench, and placed a silencing spell upon her lips.  A mixture of loathing and fear appeared on Ginny's face, as she shouted soundless livid insults at Harry, who smiled.  "Ah, the sweet sound of silence.  Now, you wait here—oh, what am I commanding you for—you won't be going anywhere," he said bitterly.  Moments later, Harry returned to the struggling Ginny, who was shocked to see that Harry's arm was gone.

"Miss Weasley, I see you're eyeing my most-prized possession—my father's invisibility cloak.  I knew one day it would prove invaluable," he finished, gazing fondly at the cloak.  He then murmured, "Mobilicorpus."

Ginny's breath caught as she began to levitate several inches of the floor.  With little care, Harry began to guide the immobilized girl back to her dormitory, to her terminal position: lying on her bed.  He then took great care in draping his invisibility cloak over her body.  Frowning at the imprint made on the bed, Harry debated just obliterating her memory.  "It would make it easier…  NO!  I have to do this right.  Master wanted her unharmed," he said quietly, as to not wake the other girls still slumbering.

After pulling back the invisibility cloak just enough so that Harry could look into Ginny's face, Harry smiled.  He then shifted to look in one of his pockets, and pulled out the sad remains of his beloved Janet (which had been bound with spellotape).  Ginny could only watch in horror as she waited for what Harry would do with the quill.  However, quite to Ginny's surprise, he merely placed the quill beneath Ginny's pillow.  Still dumbfounded and confused as she tried to imagine what Harry could possibly accomplish by putting a quill beneath her pillow, Ginny remained still as Harry bade her farewell.

"Sweet dreams, Ginny," Harry whispered insincerely.

Immediately after Harry softly pulled the door closed, the voices began.  At first, Ginny thought she was going insane.  Something whispered and taunted her in a voice none but she could hear.  The voice spoke a language none but Ginny could decipher.

"You thought you could win?" It hissed.  "You are weak!  You don't stand a chance against those you fear the most!"  It continued in this vein until Ginny's mouth gaped in a silent scream.

*~*~*

Meanwhile, Harry was busy retracing his steps as he sought to correct his mistake of felling anyone with whom he came in contact by means of Petrificus Totalus.  When he finally sent tiny Professor Flitwick on his befuddled way, Harry decided he needed to set a certain someone straight.  Without a second thought, Harry began his search for Draco.

After several hours of searching the castle, Harry was finally able to locate Draco sitting alone in the library, staring, transfixed, out the window.  Harry followed his gaze, and could see a heavily clouded sky, that appeared dark, despite the fact that the lunchtime was fast approaching.  Cautiously, Harry approached Draco.  Warily, he said, "Draco, I have something that can't go unsaid any longer."  He then gained a bit more courage, and said, louder, "Draco, I love you.  I don't care how long it takes you to embrace the thought of loving me, but, damn it, I can't stop my feelings!"

Having made his statement, Harry abruptly grabbed Draco's shoulders, and pulled him in for a long, wet kiss.  Draco resisted at first, but eventually submitted to the all-consuming kiss.  However, when Harry finally pulled away (looking quite satisfied), Draco merely glared at him.

"How dare you!" He shouted, and spun to stalk angrily out of the library.  To Harry's amazement, however, Draco stopped midway to the door, and turned to face Harry, his expression softened, and his hair mussed from the intensity of the osculation.  With a half smile, he said, "That wasn't bad, Potter.  That wasn't bad at all."