Disclaimer: I don't own Gohan, Any of the students, Videl (oooooh, I wish I did though). I DO own the authors that agreed to be cameos (and those who didn't) ^_^.

Notes: YUP YUP. This is going to be a fun, interesting 33/33/34 humor/romance/action story with the (up till now) the least admired couple in DBZ, Gohan/Videl. In a way, however, it's A/U. Gohan and Videl are 14 (so no lemons, perverts :P), and there is no future Buu saga (which, in my opinion, sucked). But there IS a returning Villain (to make things interesting), and a lot of fic mocking (WHAT? THE BASTARDS KIDNAPPED HER?). And for gods sake, no Saiyaman. Well, this ought to be interesting, here goes....


Living the 'Normal' Life


Creak....creeeeeeaaaakkkkk.......creeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkk

The sun was slowly creeping over the distant hill, shining mildly on the peaceful wood below. Birds chirped their morning greetings lazily, and the rooster crowed his morning alarm. A lone house occupied this haven from society, sheltering an unusual woman and her two even more unusual children. One of whom was up rather early.

Creeeeeeaaaakk...........creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk..........

Son Gohan, the older boy, heard him tiptoeing, the creaks awakening him from a deep sleep. He yawned, still not opening his eyes, and brushed a wild lock of deep black hair out of his eye. Sunlight crept unwelcomely over the windowsill, breaking the nice, cozy darkness. The boy protected himself from the intruder, and threw the blanket over his head.

Creeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaak...............squuueeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaakkkkk.....

There went the door. He mumbled a silent prayer that maybe, just maybe, just this once, HE wouldn't--

SLAM! "GOOD MOWNIN BIG BWUVVAAAAA!!!!!!!!" POW!

Gohan's eyes shot open as the entire bed seemed to transform into a massive earthquake, while his 3-year old brother bounced around on top. The little fireball then shimmied over the blankets, popping his nose right up to Gohan's. "Wakey WAKEY!"

"Good Morning Goten. Big brother is TIRED and wants to sleep a little more, okay?" He rolled over in bed, yet the face popped in front of him again, eyes wide open and mischevious. "WANNA PLAY!"

"It's 5:30 in the morning Goten, go AWAY. Why dont' you try sleeping in...."

Roll. POP. "I'm not sleepy anymore!"

Gohan sighed and opened his mouth to roar his tormenter into submission, then yelped as Goten's Glacier-Cold feet drove into the small of his pajama back, kicking him off the bed. The boy simply lay there upon contact, face down on the hardwood floor, praying for the patience needed to conmplete the morning ritual.

Goten clung to Gohan's pajama leg as he got up, urging his tired sibling onto greater speeds. Gohan attempted to comb his hair and make his bed, ignoring the extra weight, but of course, his hair refused to cooperate, and his bed would probably never be clean again with Goten around.

"FASTA! FASTA!"

Gohan chuckled, the morning grumpiness out of his system, and a boyish, evil little grin spread across his face. In a flash, he kicked up and pressed Goten on his back, proceeding to tickle him outrageously. "Faster, you said? Faster!? FASTER?"

The tiny little boy kicked and screamed, giggling uncontrollably. "heeeheeeEEHEEHHHEEEEEHEEEEE!! WAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!! STo-stAHAHAHAAHAAHAHA! Somebodyeeheheee, he-hel-he--GYAHAHHAHAEEEHEEEEHEEEEE!!!" Gohan laughed along, enjoying the simple pleasure of tormenting his younger brother, as all older brothers do. (You KNOW it's true)

Finally, Gohan quit, still laughing, and pulled Goten to his feet. "Peace?"

Goten giggled mischeviously however, and jumped up, pushing SOMETHING into Gohan's pajama back. And it was cold. And had many little bitty legs.

"GYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The older boy did a mad shuffling dance, attempting to scrape the clingly little creature off.

"It's a millipedey I found and put in the refigatatator. Like it?" Goten giggled and ran off to the other side of the room.

"Oh you little worm-!" Gohan prepared to chase Goten in the usual Chase-Catch-Crunch game, but a different voice rose from downstairs to interrupt the fun. "All right you two, that's enough! Come on, up and attem, breakfast'll be ready soon. Gohan, you take your brother and get me some firewood, will you? I'm nearly out."

"Kay mom!" yelled Gohan. He looked at his brother who was curling up in a ball and giggling to protect himself from furher attacks. "Comeon Goten, get dressed. We're going to go play OUTSIDE this morning."

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!" Goten cried happily as he zoomed off to his room to throw on his clothes, sounding for all the world like a buffalo stampede. Gohan smiled fondly He CAN be cute when he puts his mind to it, and threw on his preffered excercise clothes: an orange Gi, with a blue undershirt, blue wristcuffs, and blue boots with yellow edges. He was rather fond of the outfit, and with his wild hair, he looked much like his dad. Fortunately, he really hadn't had much reason to use the fighting Gi for anything resembling, well, fighting. There'd been 3 beautiful years of peace since Cell and Bojack had been defeated, and things had gone back to "normal." Still, to keep himself in shape in case his trouble-bound planet was targeted once again, he took about an hour and trained every day, maintaining a reasonable build and keeping his Ki under control.

Pre-occupied with thoughts, he nearly fell over as Goten blasted back into the room, wearing a similar outfit. "KAY! LETS GO!.....um....whaddawe playin Gohan."

"Um...it's called....The Hunt for the super secret pieces of dry and easy-to-burn firewood!"

"....that doesn't sound wike much fun...."

Gohan's eyes lit up with pretend enthusiasm, "Oh, but it IS. I LOVE playing that game. It's my FAVORITE."

"....REALLY? Well, if it's YOUR favewite, then it's MY favewite! ^_^" (A/N: The cuteness of this scene is beginning to bother me)

"Greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Comeon, let's go."

Chichi was busy working in the kitchen as the boys came down. She sighed a bit, feeling a bit nostalgic. They look so MUCH like their dad "All right you two, I want you back in exactly one-hour with as much firewood as you can get."

"One hour?"

"Yes, no sooner, no later. This breakfast is going to take a while."

Gohan sniffed appreciatively, "Smells great. Well, see you later mom!"

Goten smiled cutely, "Bye mama!....uh....what's an hour?"

"An hour is 60 minutes dear, which is precisely 3600 seconds, 15 of which have just been used up. Ahhhhh...3585 seconds, beautiful, Noiseless, WORKLESS SECONDS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, fREEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDOOOOMM---um....eheh."

Gohan and Goten blinked blankly in unison. Goten broke the silence, "Thirty-five hundwed bazillion seconds! BYE!"

The door slammed shut, and Chichi immediately turned the stove off, rushed to the living room, and plopped in front of the couch, turning on the TV. At last, a nice, quiet hour, all to myself. No screaming children, no food to cook, no dishes to clean. Hehe, they don't know that cooking can be finished in five minutes or less. I am SUCH a genius...



"Whaddo-I do again, Brother?" Goten implored.

"Ok, first, you find secret dead branches off the trees or the ground. Then, your bring them here to this giant Oak tree, and I gaurd them against the EVIL Invisible Hordes that will try to take them from us."

"Uh...whaddo they want with the dead branches?"

"See, that's the trick, they're SECRET dead branches, required to make Mom's food."

Goten gasped, "They're trying to steal the branches required to cook our food? THOSE BASTARDS!"

"O.O Goten, where on EARTH did you hear THAT word?"

"Uh....Trunks' daddy. TEEHEE, he funny, a car ran into the wall one day at Trunks house, and they got out and yelled at Vegeta for twaining in the road, and then he threw the car wid the people that he yelled at REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL HIGH and-!"

"Yeah, that's HILARIOUS. I think I'll have a little talk with him later...."

Goten looked around, "I don't see anyone, you sure that there're bad people after our secret wood?"

"Um....yes there are! LOOK, there's one now!" Gohan made a quick pretend punch in midair, but accidentally lost balance on a root and fell down, hitting the tree behind him. A rather large bump formed on the back of his head, while he tried to manage a weak smile. "See...um....they're tough!"

Goten was now thoroughly perplexed. Then his little eyes squinted, "Are you making-believe things to make me work?"

"Me? MAKE BELIEVE? Goodness no, Goten, I'm just telling you why I'm going to be meditating here!"

"Meditatering?"

"No, MEDITATING. It'll look like I'm sleeping, but I'm really not. Check back in about 20 minutes ok?"

"...............hmmmmmmmmm..........OK!! GOOD LUCK, DONT LETEM GETCHA!"

The little boy ran off at an inhuman speed into the woods on his great quest, while Gohan closed his eyes in contentment, not seeing any invisable hordes at the moment.

Nice, peaceful, quiet...serene...relaxation.

Fresh breeze.

Crisp smell of the pines.

Gurgling of the stream.

....the feeling that someone was giggling about an inch away.

"GOHAN!!!!! I BACK!"

Gohan fell over anime-style, increasing the size the large welt on his head. Goten giggled as he sat up. "Um....Goten, you haven't been gone very long."

Goten held a single twig in his hand, and frowned. "You said ta check back in 20 minthingy's, right?"

Gohan sighed and smiled, "It's been 20 SECONDS, Goten. MINUTES are the SECOND group of time."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh.....K, bye!"

"Byyyyyyyeeeee." Gohan sighed and closed his eyes again, breathing in the fresh air.

The crisp smell of the pines--

"HEY GOHAN!"

".....Yes, Goten...what now?" said Gohan impatiently, not opening his eyes.

"Um....I dunno howta count to 20 minutesies."

"Just count to 1200 seconds, how's that sound?"

"OK!........um.......I don't think I can count that high....*sniff*....I'm not very good at this game am I, onichan. *sniff sniff* *sad puppy-dog eyes watering*"

Gohan quickly jumped up. "Hey, hey, hey, come on now, don't cry, don't cry! Here, you know what, I'll come with you. That way we can count TOGETHER! We'll be a team!"

Goten cheered and jumped on Gohan's back again, hugging his neck tightly. "YAAAY! LETS GO GET SOME SECRET WOOD THINGIES!"

Gohan smiled despite his lost nap, and he and Goten went off in search of the wood. Not knowing that a real shadow lurked in the shadows watching with shadowy reasons, stuffed full of shadowy shadows. (Bet you've never seen a sentence with shadow used 5 times :) )

A ridiculously-stupid looking furry dog-like creature in a ninja suit got out a walkie-talkie, a Pilaf-Manufactured one *Insert evil villain music*. "This is Shao reporting sir. Um, I saw some kids that looked a LOT like our man,...but I don't think they are-"

A voice shrieked over the radio, "SILENCE! SILENCE! DO YOU WANT THEM TO HEAR YOU? I demand QUIET! QQQQQUUUUIIIIEEEET!"

Shao whipsered, "S-s-sorry Emprorer Pilaf, I'll be quieter-"

A scream blazed out of the radio, "THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'D BETTER BE QUIET IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU! YOU'RE SO LOUD YOU PROBABLY GAVE THE WHOLE GAME AWAY YOU FOOL! *cough* Now then. No sign of Goku? Now that we have a real army, we'll really be able to take over the world, no Dragonballs required. My permiciously political plan of palacy will be PERFECT!"

Shao was perplexed, "What did that mean? And no Dragonballs?"

Mie broke in over the radio, "Of course not Shao. Every time we tried to use the Dragonballs, the others used a scouter to discover where we were before we were really ready. This way, we can take our time AFTER the world's been conquered."

"A-HEM. May I continue with my cooky cavorting?"

"Um......of course sire."

"Now then. Return to base while I consider my options. If Goku isn't here, and he isn't back in a few days, then the world WILL BE MINE! *insert traditional DBZ 10-minutes of laughing*"

Shao blabbed happily, "Oh GOODIE GOODIE sire! WORLD DOMINATION (trademark) at last! But, uh...what about Yamcha? He got in the way the last couple times. And Mutenroshi?"

"No need to worry about those fools. Neither of then could take on an entire army. Goku's the onlu one I'm worried about, he beat Piccolo Daimou. I doubt he's gotten much stronger, without other opponents to fight but still, you never know. But enough about that fool. Prepare the army to STORM THE MALL!"

Shao whispered, "......um...why the mall?"

"....BECAUSE I SAID SO! AND BE QUIET!"


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORLD'S GREATEST HERO, HEEEEEEERRRRRCUUUUUULLLEEE SATAN, is READY for his GOURMET BREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKFFFFFFAAAAAASSSSTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh quit yelling like a moron, Dad. It's only leftover blueberry muffins from yesterday."

Satan. poofing his amazing large afro, cooed stupidly, "Helllllllllllllllooooooooo sugarpeach, how are we this morning my wittle baby."

Videl Satan brushed her raven black hair away from her beautiful face and rolled her eyes, "Just PEACHY daddy. It's the cook's day off, and I have to go back to school in two days, so I'm going to be busy all day freshening up and getting some new clothes. And I'm 14 now, so I'm not a baby."

Satan suddenly roared, "Are you insinuating that you think you can have a BOYFRIEND now! Don't think because you've grown a little that you can go and make out in an alley without MY permission!"

Videl was perplexed, "Are you feeling all right, Dad? You work out too much last night? Where in HELL did that come from, and since WHEN have you worried about BOYS. Besides, I don't think a guy could get very close to me without getting his ass handed to him on a golden plate."

Hercule suddenly looked down, "Actually, I'm feeling a bit under the weather, eheh. I'm worried about you, you're going to be a Freshman soon! Oh I've heard all sorts of nasty stories....urgh, girls KISSING boys.....but you are MY daughter and I've taught you the tricks of the trade. SO DEFEND YOURSELF! TEENAGE BOYS ARE EVIL! DON'T GIVE IN TO THEIR LITTLE GAMES!"

"....weren't you a teen when you married mom? About 18, if I remember correctly?" said Videl exasperatedly.

"uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh...........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAHA! THAT'S DIFFERENT! I was too IRRESISTABLE to wait very long, and she fell head over heels for me. Ah, THAT was a night to remember...."

Time to change the subject. "um, Speaking of moves, Dad, when are you going to teach me the moves that you beat Cell with? I could use those for my Community Service Beat-The-Shit-Out-Of-Stupid-Crooks fun group."

Mr. Satan, the world's STRONGEST *cough* hero, looked white for a second, then he laughed again. Videl solemnly knew that it must have been a horrible battle, he always looked somewhat scared just thinking about it. "Sweetie, you're not going to be ready for those for a long, long time. They're too deadly and dangerous for a teen, even you, to be learning. Now, *AHEM*, enough talk. Start getting ready for school, and don't even THINK about boys!"

"Ok daddy." Videl smiled, "I'll only make out with boys when you're not looking, like when I go to the mall toda-."

"VIDEL!"

"Just joking, just joking. Jeez."

Videl started tramping up the mile-long staircase to her room, sighing. As amusing as her dad could be, summer had been rather boring and laborious. She started doing community service for the police, to improve her fighting (her dad was too hard at work to do this), but none of her friends were around. The only guy that she would at school was Sharpener, and his "sexy" voice made her clench her teeth. He WAS pretty good looking, but he was such an arrogant ass that it tread on her nerves. Well, and the whole dating rumor thing didn't help all that much either. Oh well. It'll be fun to beat the crap out of him in the School Boxing Tournament this year.



Despite their attempts to remain focused in their hunt for firewood, both Gohan and Goten were still childishly fascinated by the various wildlife they stumbled upon. Various plants, insects, animal cubs (everyone say together "AWWWWWWWWWW"), and even bees. It wasn't until AFTER Goten had thrown a rock through the bee-hive that Gohan realized they had no firewood and five minutes to look for some.

As they whisked away from the angry insects, Goten laughing the whole way, Gohan looked on the ground, picking up some stray branches. However, there were too few, and Chichi wanted at least a month's worth. Finally, he stopped and muttered, "This won't do." He went to one of the large oaks, rapped lightly on the wood, then stated, "Well, dad gave us a few years worth of firewood out of one of these. Why can't I?"

Gohan gave the tree one good, solid kick, a little harder than he intended. His leg landed with an almost deafening boom, and the tree blasted away, in the direction of the house. Goten looked on awefully, then snickered, "Gohan made the twee go BOOM!"

The boy only stared, horror dawning on his face. "Go....boom...God, I hope it doesn't hit the house or anything..."



"Oh Jane....I've always wanted to do this...."

"Martin...." *insert traditional crappy soap-opera music, or the DBZ Dub music*

Chichi stared wide eyed at the screen. They're finally going to kiss. After all those close calls...YES! YES!

The woman bounced around like a little girl. Her favorite couple were actually going to KISS. FINALLY! After all this time. And there wasn't any possible way it could be stopped now. The onscreen couples' faces moved closer and closer, their lips parted....this was it. (Bet you can't see where THIS is going.)

BOOM!EEEERRRRRchchchchchcCRRRRRAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The TV reception died. The Flying Tree Trunk had sailed over the house, destroying the satellite, and a big chunk of the roof. Chichi simply sat there, looking first at the massive, newcoming Tree wedged behind the house, then her dead TV set.




*snap*

*crackle*

*POP*

"GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gohan entered rather sheepishly, shuffling from boot to boot, while Goten hid for his life under the stairs. "Uh....hi mom. ..um....I kicked the tree a little too hard...uh...I didn't know you were watching THAT....ehehehheheheh.. um...don't kill me."

"Huff....pufff.....hufff.....PUFF....GASP! YOUNG MAN! That is the THIRD time this week you've done something to my hosue. First, your little 'sparring' session with Goten blazed a nice hole in my bedroom. Then there was the whole baby-shampoo incident. And now a flying tree destroys my Roof and TV RECEPTION! I'VE HAD IT!"

Gohan went down on all fours, "PLEASE MOM! NO! Don't make me watch the marriage videos AGAIN! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAASSSSEEEE!!!"

Chichi grinned maniacally. "Oh no Gohan. We're going to go do something much, MUCH more painful."

The poor boy wimpered.

"You're going to go shopping and pick out some new clothes with me. For school. In one Hour."

"S--s-shopping"

"Shopping."

"S-SCHOOL?"

"School." *dum dum DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM!*


To be continued......


Stay tuned for part 2, where Gohan goes shopping, Pilaf begins to initiate the PERFECT PLAN, and school edges ever closer. And Videl hasn't even STARTED thinking about Gohan yet. Well, yes, it was cute and fluff, the "awwww, goten's ADORABLE isn't he" chapter, and longer than I usually like to start out, but hey, I had to introduce everything SOMEHOW. Don't worry, things'll get interestin real soon. As in, NEXT CHAPTER!