Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters in this story that appear in the hit syndicated TV show, Dark Angel, which are owned by James Cameron. I do, however, own any original characters featured in this story. If you wish to use them, please ask me.
Summary: Alec reflecting on Max. Takes place after "Hello, Goodbye."
A/N: I couldn't help myself. I just HAD to write another one of those music-inspired stories! I'm sorry! The song is Catlike Thief by Boxcar Racer.
I'm Floating
By
Brin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I fell down again
But I can't complain
Another false step could drive me insane
All I got myself here to blame
So I shake off the seat and I start again
Oh no I said I want to go back
But I can't win the shit
And I'm gonna stay on track
Yeah make a deal like that
I keep my head up but I never react
"Love sucks," she says, staring out at the city below with a blank look on her gorgeous face.
I try to see what she's looking at exactly, but her eyes are hard to follow… She has beautiful eyes. I've never noticed that before. They're that color of brown that nobody can really complain about. I mean, I've known some Xs who've complained night and day that their eyes are too brown and boring… Max, no. Max has sparkling brown eyes filled with passion and wisdom. They're the color of milk chocolate with black flecks that are especially visible when the light shines on her face… like silke pie, I guess. I mentally smack myself for that association. That would go over well, wouldn't it? If I went up to Max and said "Your eyes remind me of calorie-ridden, whipped-cream covered silke pie!" she'd probably kill me.
Wrote it down a list a month ago16 chapters of one thing you've blown
The best thing yet to help you
Through and through that she was
I feel her more than you
Don't leave, don't leave her
"That it does," I stupidly say out loud after about twenty minutes.
She looks at me, confused for a second, then remembers her last comment and shrugs her answer.
I smile and she doesn't turn away, but rests her head on her shoulder and turns her eyes downward. She's so gorgeous… I stare at her unabashedly. Nice cheekbones, a cute chin and even cuter dimples. Long, colorful hair of about three different shades of brown with some red mixed in there for flair. It's all natural, of course. An X series wouldn't dream of dying their hair unless they were forced to. And I love her hair. I bet it would be curly if it were short. It smells nice, too… Not that I enjoy smelling her hair, or anything. I resist the urge to reach out and play with a lock of her soft brown hair, instead running a hand through my own rough, unhealthy, gel-encrusted hair. Okay, now that's nasty.
I get up
Just to get knocked back down
I sit up
Just to get knocked all around
I wanna say something
But you're out of town
I don't wanna have another
Short down say stand up
"Alec," she says, turning back to look at whatever it is she looks at in the city, "What did it feel like… when you were in love with Rachel?"
A pang of hurt hits me in the heart and a take in a long breath. She briefly glances at me, and I shrug. "It felt like love." Her face flashes disappointment at my typically Alec answer, and I reiterate, this time thinking before I speak. "It was like… floating. When I would look at her everything would melt away before my very eyes. There was no Manticore, no mission, nothing for me to worry about. It was just me and her in love. Sparks practically jumped from my fingers, I wanted to touch her so badly. Stoke her hair, put my arm around her, kiss her, any kind of contact. To be in love… is to lose all your sense of self… and live for somebody else."
Lets make it clear follow you home
You were not there you saw him coming
You disappear home alone every night
Seems so clear you think you see me here
All along got my crew coming now
One by one, two by two, three by threeFour by four, lets do some more
Max turns her entire body to me now, a sympathetic look on her face. Her hand, silky soft and small like a child's, reaches out and wipes a tear that I hadn't known was there from my face. I instantly feel ashamed for crying in front of a woman, and turn my head, but she gently takes my chin and turns me back to look at her. I see tears glistening in her own eyes and she whispers in a tiny, scared voice, "Alec… I'm not in love with Logan. I… don't think I was ever really in love with him."
I stare at her, surprised by this notion. A tear falls down my face uninhibited, and suddenly I don't care. She looks so small outlined against the horizon, which is filled to the brink with the bright lights of buildings. Hesitantly, I extend an arm and place it around her shoulders while moving closer to her. "Max… how can you say that? I thought…"
"You thought, wrong Alec," she interrupts me.
Call me back when word is that she's gone
Cat like thief she stole air from my lungs
Leave me standing on this lonely grave
I dug it out in case she turns awayDon't leave, don't leave her
"You see, Alec, I've never felt like that around Logan. Never," she says quietly. "And I trust your opinion on love whole-heartedly."
She settles against my side like a kitten and my breathing practically stops. I've gone through a hundred scenarios in my head of conversations with Max, and none of them have come to this point. I try to tell my lungs and diaphragm to start functioning again, but they rebel and I hiccup twice. Max laughs against my shoulder and lifts her head to look at me with those passionate brown eyes. I push a disobedient lock of hair from her eyes and smile, eyeing her full lips anxiously. I wonder what it would be like… No, don't go there Alec. Don't treat her like just another girl… I stop and think about this for a minute. If she's not just another girl, then she's my friend, right? But friends don't… No, I stop myself again. Max would never choose me.
"Alec?"
"Yes, Max?" I look down and give her my best smile, despite what I'm feeling inside. She's staring up at me again with those black-speckled eyes.
"Stay with me?"
"Of course, Maxie. Whatever you want," I say quietly, stroking her hair comfortingly as she breaks down and starts to cry. "Just cry, Maxie." I don't even have to ask her why. Life as a transgenic is no walk in the park, and we barely have enough time to stop and breathe, much less cry on someone else's shoulder. I know she cries of Ben, Logan, Brain, her family, Joshua… anything worth crying about. "I'm gonna be right here, Maxie."
And suddenly I'm floating. All my worries melt away right before my very eyes. There is no Manticore, no missions, nothing for me to worry about. Just me and her. Sparks jumped from my fingers to her skin as I held her, wanting to kiss her. I lose my sense of self and suddenly… I'm living for someone else.
Don't leave
Don't leave her
Don't leave
Don't leave her
Don't leave
Don't leave her
Don't leave
