Lesson 4: Violations in the Hogwarts Honor Code will be addressed by a Board of Professors.
The next day, Minerva McGonagall knew she would have to bring up the points and the Kameron situation. Of course, she didn't feel comfortable going alone. That morning, a huge contingent of teachers lead by Professor Snape appeared at her office door. Flitwick was hanging on Snape's robes. Obviously something was wrong when the champion dueler had to hide behind the Potions Master. Sprout and Vector, with all their loud blustery charm, were whispering. Professor Sinistra was shrunk into the back of the room, flanked by Madam Hooch. They all waited for Snape to speak.
"Are you going to do something about Lupin today?" Snape asked. "His P.M.S. caused him to see fit to walk past my potions seminar, talking to his ridiculous bear, saying he was going to take him to the zoo if he was a good boy…" Snape said.
"He brought his teddy bear into the faculty lounge. He made it a cup of cocoa. I swear I turned around and a sip was gone," Flitwick said.
Professor Vector blustered, "Oh, not the cocoa."
"It's unnatural. It drank cocoa." Flitwick shook his head.
"It did not." Sprout shook her head.
Professor Sinistra tried to raise her voice above Professor Vector but failed. He always drowned her out.
"You're getting as paranoid as Mad Eye Moody," Vector frowned.
"You've never seen a Dark Teddy. Don't tell me about anything."
Professor Sprout shook her fist "Stop nannering about the cocoa, I drank it." She pounded her fist on the table "He made it in my mug. Using my own coffee mug to make his teddy bear cocoa. That must be some violation of the Honor Code."
"Excuse me." Professor Sinistra raised her hand.
The room turned around.
"Yes, Professor Sinistra. Before you are interrupted again"
Professor Sinistra's tiny tinkling voice rose under the booming voice of Professor Sprout "As Astwonomy and Astwowogy Pwofessow, the staws show nothing. But I can vewify that that I have heard him talking to the teddy beaw. But as a weasonable woman, I was considewing the situation sewiouswy and carefuwwy. I took it into considewation that he talked to himself all the time when he used to have that big ugwy bwack mutt. Perhaps he has twansferred his feewings of affection for the dog to the panda. He is a cute wittle wascal."
"Well, thank you, Professor Sinistra, well thought out and useful as always."
"The what?" Binns tried to listen "Did she say he tapdanced the feedings of infection?"
"Transferring his feelings of affection." Hooch said "A bit fancier way to say that he replaced his doggy with a teddy, what."
"He gave my student detention based on the word of a teddy bear." Snape tried not to yell.
"But he was ewwonious and wong. The teddy wied from what I heard from Her-my-wone Gwanger."
Binns adjusted his ear trumpet[1] again.
"Teddy Bears can't lie, professor Sinistra," Snape snarled. "They are INANIMATE OBJECTS!
Sinistra clammed back up.
"Oh dear," Dumbledore said, putting aside his writing, "I believe it is time we intervened on his behalf."
"Professor McGonagall, will you and Professor Snape talk to him?"
"What, why me?" Snape said.
"It's a little technique called 'good cop-bad cop.' If we cannot persuade him to get help through kindness perhaps we might have to pressure him in a more forceful way.
"I'm not entirely sure what a 'cop' is, but already I know it's going to cause me a headache." Snape said.
****
It was at lunch, where Lupin could be found feeding Kameron fresh grapes and Cream of Wheat in a little tea saucer, that they finally caught up with him.
Snape began sniggering coldly. McGonagall tried not to laugh by pinching her brow.
"My word," she said. "You didn't tell me it was this bad."
Snape grinned wickedly "What? Do you think Kameron needs a bib? Look at him."
Lupin was playing a game to get Kameron to eat. "Come on. Open up the big cave so the dragon can fly in. How is him ever going to be a big boy?"
Lupin took a spoon of Cream of Wheat. "Daddums likes it. Yummy Yum. See."
"Professor Lupin." McGonagall said sharply, trying to give Lupin a chance to compose himself. But instead the professor huddled over his teddy, trying to feed it.
"Oh hello." He looked over his shoulder. "I'm trying to feed Kameron some lunch."
Sinistra, Sprout and Binns had to leave the room before they exploded with laughter.
Flitwick cowered back; he'd seen a jinxed teddy only once and it had scarred him for life. Hooch slapped him on the shoulder "I think those three will need some room." And the others left them.
Lupin smiled "All he wants to eat is chocolates. But he doesn't get his Chocolate Frog until he finishes his grapes."
"Professor Lupin, you have been acting eccentric lately. Now some of the students have been talking to us. They love you dearly, but they are worried about your behavior," McGonagall said.
"Oh really. How sweet! I love children. Aren't they such dears?
"Okay, let me find someone to watch Kameron."
"Watch it do what?" Snape said. "Sit there like a teddy bear. Be fluffy and cute?"
McGonagall cut Snape off.
"Professor Lupin. We just wanted to take you down to Madam Pomfrey's for a quick once over."
"But I'm fine. You don't need to trouble yourself."
"Remus, I think you need help."
"Oh, okay, later. I'll have to find someone to watch my little precious."
McGonagall was much too tactful to continue any the discussion. Snape had been an excellent choice to help her. He was as subtle as a thrown brick.
Snape stared Lupin in the eyes. "You realize that that is just a doll. Inanimate. Dead. It's just cotton and polyester." Snape poked its head.
"Well, umm. Oh, yeah." Lupin tossed the comment off. "But he's so much more. I look in his little glass eyes and I think I can see the spark of life. Like any minute he could come to life and well… I'm just amusing myself. It's just a little game."
"Well, most of us stopped playing with dolls when we were children." Snape said.
"It's nothing like that," Remus shook his head. "I'm not a child, exactly. Look at me."
McGonagall patted him on the shoulder.
"Remus, you look terrible. Go to Madam Pomfrey. You're creeping everyone out." Snape said.
"She'll help you get some sleep so you can be up to par."
"I'm telling you. I'm fine. Kameron is fine."
"You're not fine, Lupin, you've bloody cracked." Snape said "Now get to the Infirmary or we'll get Filch around here to lock you up in manacles."
"It's none of Filch's business or yours, Professor," Lupin snapped at Snape. "I think we're finished here. Kameron, lets get to…"
Minerva McGonagall was at a loss she tried to think of something to stop him.
Lupin picked up Kameron
"Say bye-bye, my baby." Lupin waved the teddy's hand.
Snape seemed struck by inspiration. A smile lit in his eyes but his mouth remained still. He gave McGonagall a nudge
"Follow my lead." He whispered.
McGonagall shrugged. She couldn't think of anything.
Snape clutched his ear.
"Oh dear? What was that sneeze?"
Lupin turned around.
"I think he sneezed," Snape said. "Dreadful."
"Me. No," Lupin said. "I didn't sneeze. I'm quite well. I'm not sick. Leave me alone." Lupin backed up and huddled in on himself, needlessly agitated, protecting the teddy bear.
"Oh, no, him. Carmine."
"Kameron," McGonagall corrected.
"Him?" Lupin stopped
"Oh yes. Didn't you hear it sneeze, Minerva?"
McGonagall stared; Snape nudged her again "Yes," McGonagall said shortly. "I did, Professor Snape. What you said."
Snape opened his arms, as if he were being friendly and comforting. It was odd how Snape got on with the emotionally fragile. It was almost as if he could get inside their head.
"May I?"
"Oh, well."
Snape gently held the teddy bear like a baby, and then touched the bear's forehead. Snape furrowed his brow in a concerned manner. "He's burning up."
"He was all right this morning." Lupin felt the bear's forehead and brushed his cheeks. "I hope he isn't ill."
"Oh, it's that flu bug. I think I heard that one of the first year's stuffed tigers brought it in." Snape's caring facade began cracking.
"Oh, no. But I haven't put Kameron around anyone else."
"Still. You can't be too careful," Snape said. "He's so young. The tiger got pneumonia.
"The poor tiger… It could be serious," McGonagall added. "Yes, yes. And Kameron is such a delicate creature," she continued, turning Lupin around. "You don't want him getting sick."
"Those things spread," Snape could barely contain his laughter, but he frowned quite concernedly. "Why don't you take Carmine down to Madame Pomfrey and see if he's all right?"
Lupin rushed down to the Infirmary.
"Let's go inform Madame Pomfrey she'll be having guests."
Remus Lupin and Madame Pomfrey were in a bit of a row by the time they made it to the infirmary.
"Oh, needles. I hate needles," Lupin flinched, snuggling the teddy closer.
"I just need a bit of blood."
"That's a silver needle, isn't it? Because silver kills Werewolves, doesn't it? You're trying to poison me. I'm onto it. That's why you gave me the metal spoons to cut my mouth and…"
"Professor Lupin, calm down."
"I AM CALM!!" he shouted.
Snape distracted Lupin while McGonagall pulled Pomfrey aside.
McGonagall spoke softly. "Look, just get that teddy bear away from him. Do an examination on the teddy and say the teddy is sick, then we'll put Lupin in the room until we get Dumbledore down here."
"The Teddy has a fever and has been acting strange," McGonagall said more loudly so that Professor Lupin could overhear.
"The teddy bear?" Madame Pomfrey said.
"He lied about Draco Malfoy trying to feed him to a dragon. He's dragon happy, I swear."
Madam Pomfrey picked up the bear and set him down on the bed.
"You aren't going to poke him with a needle are you?"
"I'll just take his blood pressure, Professor Lupin. Why don't you sit here and take a load off? I'll take good care of him," Madam Pomfrey said.
She took the blood pressure. She stared straight at McGonagall, shaking her head as she attached the bear to the spignomemometor.[2] They put the arm cuff around his teddy bear arm. Lupin sat on the next bed wringing his hands.
"Well that's 0 over 0 with a zero beats per minute. Heart's fine for a teddy."
"Well, don't be scared, baby." Lupin said, petting Kameron's head.
"Now you sit down here, Professor Lupin." Snape helped by shoving him down without a great deal of subtlety. He also tripped him and caused Lupin to go flying into the bed.
"Oh dear. I don't like his color. And this fever… I think we're going to have to get him some tests."
"Tests!" Lupin said. Snape pushed him back onto the bed.
The teachers were pawing around outside of the Infirmary, curious as to how they would stop Lupin's Reign of Teddy Terror.
"There's a special teddy bear hospital up in Essex."[3] McGonagall said, "Perhaps we should call them."
"Oh yes." The teachers nodded, concocting false stories.
"A twuly wemawkabwe and weally pwestigous institution."
"Yes, topnotch."
"Yes, my stuffed Elephant went there for his gall bladder surgery. Very high quality institution," McGonagall said. "Private Rooms, the best doctors. Kameron will be good as new."
Lupin whimpered "Oh dear, I didn't know that it could be so serious. Is he…"?
"You just wait in here and I'll phone a broom lift to Essex," McGonagall said leading him into the old waiting room.
They stuck him in the waiting room and locked the door. Filch pulled out the skeleton key and locked the four locks.
Lesson 5: Never ask about what happened to the rabbit .
Headmaster Dumbledore approached the crowd of professors.
"Well he's inside the next room. I don't think he can get out."
"Excellent work, Miss McGonagall," Snape applauded. "I'd almost believe that there was a teddy bear hospital in Essex."
Filch put a chair against the door. "Oi, we should just lock'em up a bit. That'd set him straight. Like in the old days. No taxpayers' expense that way. That'll scare him sane."
"He seemed so stable, before. Now he just seems so stressed and agitated."
The crowd assembled outside argued in whispers that grew into sharp comments until the Headmaster approached. The Headmaster of Hogwarts he had seen many bizarre and troublesome events at the school. Strangely, the appearance of a psychotic episode was eerily familiar.
Dumbledore hushed them. "I'm going to talk to the boy. We are not going to lightly throw around words like crazy and mad. Werewolves are delicate creatures in some respects. But I do believe that he is just overwhelmed. There's no doubt in my mind he's troubled. He's been very busy and under a lot of pressure. From the ministry, from all the publicity from his book, his dog running away…"
"I do 'ope the dear boy hasn't gone off the deep end," Hagrid said. " 'E's a nice little bloke.
"Such a marvelous fourth in bridge," Flitwick nodded.
"Now, I'm sure Headmaster Dumbledore will help him with his Teddy Bear Problem," McGonagall said.
Remus Lupin stood up, still unaware that he was locked in the room and still awaiting Madame Pomfrey. Dumbledore entered the room where Remus was sitting. The teacher stood up and unconsciously offered him a seat.
"Master Dumbledore. Hello."
"Hello, Remus. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine. Excellent. I'm here with little Kameron, have you met him?"
"Well, no," Dumbledore said, puzzled.
"He's not feeling well. They're sending in a broom from the teddy bear hospital in Essex."
"Teddy Bear what? " Dumbledore sat him down on the chair. "Right."
"How are you?" the old wizard asked again, with an urgent look in his eyes.
"I'm fine, Master Dumbledore. Even excellent."
"Remus, I understand that your class has just finished up their unit on Werewolves."
"Oh yes. I'm personally glad you're protecting me," Remus laughed. "Children have such dangerous imaginations. You won't have to worry about those kids running into a werewolf. I'd know better."
"We thought it might be better if Snape had substituted for you, considering the sensitive nature of the subject. It must be hard to teach how to kill a werewolf."
"Oh no, it was easy. I have intimate knowledge of how werewolves act for one thing. And I did teach them much more than a text could. I could also tell them about behaviors, cloistering. So little research is done on the subject. I had to teach them how to kill one. It's only logical that I would be the best at the job."
"You did a splendid jo,." Dumbledore nodded. "You are one of our finest and most beloved teachers."
"That's what matters," Lupin said.
"But does it bother you?"
"Of course not. No," Lupin shook his head.
"Anything else bothering you?"
"I'm fine." Lupin stood up, beginning to pace.
"I notice you did not escort your dog here to Hogwarts this semester."
"Oh, Snuffles, well..."
"He's run off… I take it," Dumbledore said.
Remus nodded. "Yes, but I doubt he'll show up again. I think he's
run off for good this time. He was thinking of leaving… the block as it
were, so the… Dogcatchers wouldn't find him."
"Ah, the
block. Well, you obviously miss him. You haven't been able to talk
about it at all."
"Yes. But I know how the world works. And I know what kind of dog he is. I know his past, and if he didn't run away then… why, it would have been bad. I would have really lost him."
"I trust he won't be too cold when he's alone," Dumbledore held his hand.
"He certainly has plenty of places to sleep," Remus scowled. "He'll probably find some other beds to sleep in."
"Oh, Remus," Dumbledore sighed. "It's changed your behavior. I'm worried about you, Remus. You haven't been getting out like you used to."
"I'm not a very social creature," Remus said.
"And the book took a lot out of you, and the pressure from the Ministry. I know that Fudge is too stupid to catch on. But your writings are by nature political, son. It's stirred up a lot of discussion. I know that the Malfoys are breathing down your neck because of it… This can't be any comfort with Snuffles missing."
"I'll be fine. I'm done writing it. It's very successful."
"Yes, well, success can be as troublesome as anything else," Dumbledore said.
"It's not a problem. The attention is strange, but I'll get over it…" Lupin had backed in to the corner as he paced nervously. He couldn't hide his state of mind in such a contained environment.
"Lupin. Are you taking care of yourself?" Dumbledore shifted in his seat.
"Yes, I told you, everything is fine."
"Yes, but you're wasting away. Your moon is going to be in two weeks and your robes are hanging on you. You haven't been eating."
"I'm just not hungry. I've been a little queasy… I've been… I'm better now."
"I want you to take a rest."
"I don't need a rest," he snapped. "I don't need anything." Remus's voice deepened. "Just leave me alone."
Albus Dumbledore was glad he had lived to see the phenomena of bristling before. Like a regular wolf, an agitated werewolf could make himself seem larger and more threatening should another larger werewolf or person upset it. They swelled up and their eyes darkened. It must be frightening to anyone who had never seen it, even inhuman. It was more a fear reaction than an attack. Werewolves were quiet creatures unless they intended to scare off their enemies.
"You're bristling like a pup," Dumbledore said. "You sit down."
"I AM FINE!" Lupin snarled.
At the shouting the professors, Snape and McGonagall perked their ears. They shook their heads.
"Poor Remus," McGonagall said. "I can't bear to listen."
"No one asked you to stay," Snape said.
Minerva McGonagall looked coolly at Snape.
"Nobody asked your opinion."
"Well, seeing as I do have a background in the study of Lycanthropy, I imagined that Dumbledore might need some back up."
"Back up," McGonagall looked coolly. "He's our friend. I-"
"Your friend. I tolerate him."
"Well, Mr. 'Expert-in-Lycanthropy,' what do you think?" McGonagall crossed her arms.
Snape looked down turning the page in his magazine. "This is obvious to me. Lycanthropus nervosa. I think it would be best to call the Ministry and send a big white van for our Mr. Lupin there right away."
"Oh, come now, Snape."
"I've done my research. Muggles get it and you know it's 97% more likely to happen in a werewolf. How can you convince yourself that you aren't a wolf if you actually turn into one? He's going to start acting even stranger soon."
"Well, I know the research too. Usually the symptoms are wolf delusions. He'd be loping after first years and hunting stag in the Forbidden Forest," McGonagall said.
"They begin as simple stress disorders. The wolf delusions don't begin until at least stage three. And I'd rather we catch it now than risk it," Snape said, crossing his legs.
"It's no hoighty toighty Lycanthropus Nervosa," Madame Pomfrey said. "He'd be under the delusion he was being watched under the evil eye. Then he would start sleepwalking. The advanced symptoms are always sleepwalking. That's the primary symptom of it, you two know-it-alls."
Madame Pomfrey plumped the pillow.
"I know my DSM-IV."
Dumbledore lead a pouting Lupin out of the room.
"What's your assessment, Madame Pomfrey?"
"He just needs some peace and quiet. A little saffron tea. No stuffed pandas or wizarding for him," Madam Pomfrey said. "You're not leaving, Professor Lupin."
"I think you should rest until your moon, Remus."
"Our class has a practical drill this week. Do you know how hard it is to rent a Mountain Tengu in England? They almost made me buy it. No one else has the background in Eastern Goblins. You have to let me…"
"Send it back. Now, Remus, you get some rest," Dumbledore said.
"This is preposterous. I'm fine."
Madame Pomfrey coaxed him into a quiet room.
"Take that thing away," Dumbledore said pointing at the panda.
"It's starting to scare me," Flitwick said.
"It's just because of the eyes," Hooch said. "Little black glass eyes."
"Like a doll's eye," Binns said.
Snape stared at his colleagues.
"No, it's too weird. Look what it did to Remus. Maybe it has a jinx on it. Remus has enemies."
"Remus Lupin doesn't have any enemies. Even Snape wouldn't drive him mad."
"Well, who would send it to-"
"Careful, it could be listening to us."
Snape grabbed it, shook it, and bounced it on its head. "It's just a teddy bear. You act as though it were alive. It must be catching."
"The way he was mothering that thing was just creepy," Flitwick said.
***
Professor Snape was at the head of the DaDA class.
"Oh no," Ron said audibly.
"Professor Snape," Harry said mournfully.
"But it's not the moon yet. There's at least two weeks," Dean whispered.
"One week and three days."
"Where's Professor Lupin? Is he all right?" Harry asked.
Hermione glared at Ron. "I knew it, Ron made him cry and Draco made fun of him…"
"Professor Lupin is resting. As you may have heard, due to his condition, he is having a severe attack of PMS. Because of this he was forced to take a short leave of absence.
"While I am here there will be no slacking. And, seeing as you are off topic, we will be returning to the course materials." He flipped open his lesson plan
"Now we will be discussing Ancient Egyptian Mummies."
"Oh no," the class groaned sans Potter.
"Mummies," Sean kicked the table.
"Mummies? But we were discussing Chinese Goblins," Hermione said.
"Do you think a mummy would care that you knew about Chinese Goblins, Miss Granger? Feel free to read outside of class. I must admit I find this Mummy text duller than dirt, but there is no alternative since Mr. Lupin was lax in leaving a lesson plan."
"Well, maybe they'll be interesting. I saw a movie..." Harry said.
"There are no mummies left. Everybody knows they died when William Shakespear killed the last one in Cairo in 1862 at the World Championship."
Harry decided he better not ask.
"Yeah. Now all you can study is dead mummies."
***
Remus should have been reading lighter material. He was getting a headache. He looked at all the books; he couldn't believe his eyes. How could he doubt it now?
"Mr. Lupin," he heard her voice.
He lowered the book to see the round, cute visage of Madame Poppy Pomfrey glaring at him.
"I'm not reading wizarding books, I'm not."
Madame Pomfrey took this unreasonable suspicion as an improvement. At least Remus trusted her enough to eat the food she brought and occasionally touch his skin. He eyed her carefully.
"Oh, don't read up on those sickness journals." She put it back on the shelf "You'll get nightmares, dearie. You'll start to think you have Goblinwort fever and Quidditch wrist and such. You need to relax. I brought you a nice soft bunny."
She took the rabbit out of the box.
"A brown one." Remus gushed. "She a-door-bell."[4]
"Yes, poppet," Madame Pomfrey said.
"It's a cute little thing." Lupin held it in the air "Oh hello bunny wabbit. Hers who is bunbun." Remus held the rabbit close; "I think I'll name her after my grandmother, Gillian."
"Excellent name for a rabbit." Madam Pomfrey said. Of course in four days all that would remain of that rabbit was what was left between his teeth.
"Come on Gillian. My little baby," Lupin smiled and kissed the bunny.
"'Lives of Werewolves by Berrington' 'A discourse on the Courtship rituals and Birth Practices in Lycanthrope Communities in the Pacific Northwest.' 'Mating cycles in Dark Creatures' and…" Pomfrey shook her head "Feh, I better lock these up."
Harry, Ron and Hermione had decided to go visit Professor Lupin in the infirmary. Well, Ron was still dodgy but Ginny had dragged him along. Making him carry the big chocolate cherry pudding wrapped in red cellophane with a red bow on it.
"Professor Lupin?" Harry said quietly.
"Harry… Oh, Hermione, and is that Ron and Ginny?"
"Hello. You've got a bunny," Ginny smiled.
"Yes, Ginny. Her name is Gillian. Do you want to pet her?"
"She's so big," Ginny lifted her.
"Well what brings you all here."
"Ron brought you a get well present, 'cause he sent you to the infirmary," Hermione informed him. Ron crept into the room.
Ginny gave him a shove so he would move faster.
Ron sputtered out. "I'm sorry. Here, take this pudding. So I thought, you need it. It's better than hospital food."
"Oh, Ron. You sweetheart. If I wasn't on forced vacation I'd certainly give you twenty points for coming down here."
"You aren't mad at me?"
"No. I just bristle when I'm upset."
"Good. I thought you hated me worse then Snape," Ron said. "He took away 30 points 'cause Harry was inking his quill too loudly. Then he let that snake Draco use a pencil."
"Oh, that is preposterous," Lupin sat agog. "Well, don't worry. You're doing very well this semester. If you keep it up, I'm sure you'll win back all your points."
Ron smiled. "Really?"
"Your werewolf paper was very informative."
Ron could have blushed, "I thought you'd get sore."
"Well the grammar could have been better and your MLA is atrocious. Work on that."
"Okay."
Ginny pet the bunny on Remus's lap.
"Well, Snape isn't doing too bad. He gave me a B++ on my Egyptian Curses Quiz. That's cause we went to Egypt last summer," Ginny smiled. She was so proud of her good mark that she had sent an owl home. It was hard for her to shine in the Weasely household. In fact DaDA, CoMC and Potions were her only strong classes. It was a minor miracle to get a good grade in a class taught by Professor Snape. She didn't have a memory for charms and she didn't have the constitution for sitting through Binns.
"Good job, Ginny."
"Snape's raven sang to me and everything."
"I think it's kind of interesting," Harry said. He was learning a lot even if he couldn't get better than a "B." In fact, since the answers were multiple choice, he had gotten 44 out of 50, though the comments had said "abysmal" "appalling" and "Hopefully the mummy will be stupid as well as blind."
"I think it's 'cause me and Ron went to Egypt," Ginny smiled.
"Yeah, we have to learn all this stuff again," Ron said. "I mean I'm acing the quizzes but it's so boring. I think even old Snape nodded off while teaching it. About the difference between a ka and a ba and a blahblahblah."
"Well, it's important to know your ancient history."
Hermione shook her head. "I am so bored. All we're talking about is the belief structure of Ancient Egyptians. Egyptian Funerary, the Transmogrification of the Transcendental spirit into reincarnation. I learned that in pre-school."
Remus Lupin stared at her. "You scare me sometimes, Miss Granger."
"I swear, I hear someone talk about Mummies again..." Ron said.
"Mummies," Remus Lupin gasped "Mummy…. Mummies…" His lip trembled, "He doesn't… I I… She won't. You have such a nice Mother who made you a puddings and…Mummy…"
He took the rabbit from Ginny.
Remus began tearing up again he snuggled the rabbit, crying into his fur like a big Kleenex.
"What did you do NOW?" Hermione hit him. That shoulder was developing a callous.
"Excuse me," Remus blubbered.
"We'll just leave you alone," Harry said.
Remus sniffled and the three backed off without turning their back on Remus.
They heard a wide useless bawl as they closed the door.
****
Andrew Diggory, Head Iris for the Ministry of Magic, checked his pocket watch. If this airplane thingummy was going to be so dangerously unpredictable, then why would there be so many muggles here? Waiting hours upon hours for these flying things to actually land somewhere they needed to be. He twitched his lip.
He began to resent each muggle that slodged out of the tiny door, for just existing. He hated waiting. But he couldn't Apparate out of nowhere. No efficiency. No bit of planning. He was a better messenger than that. The most important thing about being a good messenger knows the best way to deliver the message. Otherwise they were no more than owls with a pension and excellent dental.
It was more than reading a message. Only the basest amateur would read a message sent in sacred trust of the Iris. Of course knowing what the message said already that was the key.
He knew that this message was to ex-Auror, American. Andrew heard from his friends in the Aurors that this ex-Auror's friend was having an internship. Right under the auspices of the Black Commission… No more was needed. There was something in there about Sirius Black, so secret that only a human agent could protect it.
Andrew considered that if this message were so important, Black would have to be alive. A death would have been a field day. A joy really. Lots of popping things and such. But if it were something else. Sirius Black joining the Dark. He was Dark. Sirius Black making trouble in America. No no…
Andrew looked out into a crowd and saw a black dog.
And the Iris looked up.
He rushed out into the crowd.
He saw him there. Andrew tackled him.
"Well, Isn't this a marvel, Mr. Black?"
The dog let out a yelp.
A little girl looked horrified back at him. A mother looked back.
The dog gave him a frightened look.
"What are you doing? To my puppy."
Andrew let go of the dog.
"There is no need to worry. I have it under control… If you'd be so kind as to give me a hand, in restraining." Andrew picked up the dog.
"Mummy what's he doing?"
"This is a very serious matter. This dog."
"He's hurting Peekachew." The little girl growled.
"Look, you." The Father said.
"Your dog?"
Andrew Diggory sighed. Only in hindsight he doubted that Sirius Black would have chose the form of a small black schnauzer he could throttle in his arms.
"He's my puppy Peekachewie. And you can't hold him."
The little girl stared at him.
"Dreadfully sorry Ma'am, Miss." Andrew pulled himself up. He put on his bowler derby.
The mother looked at him disapprovingly.
"He looked like mine… My dog. Whilford… And it's a game we play. I miss him terribly."
"Now look bub. You get lost with you. I don't need this kind of nonsense. Come along Deidre."
The fiasco could go unremarked, but he wrote it down, everything. A little paranoia was good in times of crises. Oh he could just see the write up now. The other Iris and the Ministry would get a good laugh. Better get a good one now.
For it was a plain fact that Andrew Diggory could guess what the message said, not even bothering to look at it.
Once everybody else realized that Sirius Black was in England, there could be no laughter. He dotted his "i"
[1] I like ear trumpets.
[2] That is the word for the blood pump.
[3] Green Mile… Boohoo
[4] That's a Lindsey Paris word if I ever heard one. "Cad Dawk" is the language spoken to the cats, dogs and Teddies in the Paris Household.
