Lesson 11: Polaris Black is not Tommy Lee Jones.

            Polaris Black briefed all the Aurors on the Black Commission rigorously.

            "Sirius Black was seen in the Surrey area within as small a distance as 300 square meters away from the no fly zone.  In other words we have confirmation of his whereabouts."

            She pulled down a map of the greater metropolitan area, and snapped her pointer at the Surrey no fly zone. In the three block radius of Privet drive."

            "You're not serious?"

            "Could we refrain from that joke for three seconds?"  Polaris pulled out her steel point and pointed it in Amanda's face.

            "This means he is coming within the magical wards, set up so carefully by Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall.  This means we may yet get him."

            "All this work and he just appears out of nowhere."

            "Andrew Diggory has been scent to activate Madame Figg so that she might help you." 

            The Aurors couldn't believe their luck.
            "You have your orders gentleman and ladies. I want every inch of this town swept.  I don't care if you have to ask muggles to let you into their garage.  You will find him.  If he's hiding in a pool or a tool shed or in a pumpkin pie."

            "Yes Ma'am Sargent Ma'am." The Aurors shouted.

            Polaris "He is a brilliant criminal mind.  I only hope we can match him. Sirius Black is a dangerous and sophisticated criminal who will evade capture at all costs.."

***************

            He looked up from his food, took a swig out of his bottle of lager.

            "Here's to you buddy.  My new com-compatriot and boon companion.  I donnknow why why you are doing this for me," He slurred, "Truly the milk of kindness is in your soul." 

            Sirius took a long swig of the lager, tipping his head past his back.        

            "Yeah that's it.  My god I didn know…  He has good beer for muggle. What might I ask is your name my fine feathered friend?"

            Bark.

            "Thas a good good name."

            Sirius Black returned to the high grade kibble he was afforded smashing his face into the bowl.

            "I'm so bloody hungry man.  This is better than rats."

            The small Jack Russell terrier looked questioningly at the man eating his food.

            "You are truly a good spirit, to take… me in…" Sirius said between chomps "I am the scum of the universe."

            The dog stood up and barked.

            "So, Did I ever tell you about my dad?  He was a good man.  A lil man but a good one.  I wanna be a good dad."

            He hugged the dog, "But I am a deadbeat dad.  My dad would never leave…me.  Even if Mom was a blooooke"

            He used the poor thing like a kerchief "He'd say Ellen.  I love you.  I'm sooooo happy.  He would have never left Mom flat I tell you that."

            Sirius felt his stomach lurch.  He put Bosco down.

            "I think I'm going t'stick my head on the outside of your house, so I won't be sick inside of it.  Excuse me."

            Bosco stood up letting his guest use the outdoor facilities.

            "I can believe I even fit in here."

            The dog cocked his head trying to listen to the man's ravings.

***

            Berney Catcher was washing his aluminum siding outside with a long rubber house.

            He saw his wives little jumpy dog come out of his door flap towards his dog house

            Berney wandered back inside his house.

"Darla.  What is your dog doing with all my lager in his house?"  Berney asked his wife thoughtfully.  She was wiping the dishes and watching 'Who wants to be a Millionaire?' on the 6 inch telly in the kitchen.

            "What would Bosco do with your lager? Maybe you drank it?"

            "Honey he's carrying it outside in his little mouth.  I'm watching him now."

            "Don't make up stories." The wife threw her towel at him.

            "I'm not.  This is the third time he's done it.  I've been watching him for an hour."

            "Just cause you drink it up so fast… Berney." Darla grumbled.

***

            In the doghouse, Bosco dropped the bottle at Sirius's feet.

            "Remus… Remus.  Wow.  Did I tell you about Remus?  Why I had to leave him?"

            The dog sat down as if he expected a story.

            "Mmmm.  Yep got that smell that just drives you wild.  I didn't know it could happen.  Ahhh he's a werewolf, and I'm just a puppy, a worthless useless excuse of a wizard. Half dog. Half human.  Halfblood All bastard…."

            Sirius licked beer off his lips.

            "It all began in March. Remus's condo in London."

***

            Sirius was on the couch in his bathrobe.

            He had turned it onto another channel with the remote.  It was the one with the stupid cat.  Stupid cats were great.  For some reason he became more endeared of the animation form ever since he became an animagus.  He could never fully appreciated the art form and the humor had escaped him before. But seeing a cat smashed by a waffle iron and covered in dynamite pleased him in an unspeakable way.

            "That mouse."

            Sirius heard the door open.

            Thin white fingers clawed into his hair.

            "Hello baby." Remus said mussing his hair.

            "You're back."

            "Look dinner is in the oven.  Just get out the eggs and ketchup you got out of the store."

            "You made dinner?"

            "Well someone had too.  Did you get a dozen eggs or eighteen?  What did I put on the list? I thought you were getting marmalade or chocolate syrup, eggs. Ketchup…"

            "We have ketchup."   Remus began working his hand down Sirius's shirt.

            Remus had forgotten it again.  He had ever pinned a list to his sleeve.

            "Well where is the groceries Remus?"

            "I was just feeling lonesome at the store.  I missed you."

            "At the store.  Ten minutes ago."  Sirius looked up at Remus's lust crazed face.

            "Uh huh." Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius's back.  Remus embraced him.

            "Well if dinner's all made … then we can…"

            "You're insatiable." Sirius stared at him in a kind of awe and respect.  They had just spent all last night doing this, and he was ready to go again.

            "Good for me." Remus snapped his teeth, nipping at Sirius.

            Sirius protested softly.  He lied out on the couch "Go ahead have your way with me.  If that's all I am to you."

            Remus frowned.  "Don't be mean Sirius.  You don't want to make love to me."

            "Well."

            "It's that time of year…  I am in season.  Where my sexuality is reaching a high peak, and you are my mate."

            "Oh lucky me."

            "You aren't tired, baby?  I could always go entertain myself. I've done as much before…"  Remus stroked his belly.

            "Remus." Remus blushed.

            "I'm very resourceful.  I bet there are things I could do with a stalk of broccoli that you would make your brain collapse and eat itself."

            Sirius yelped "We… don't…. have… um... any of… those."

            Remus kissed him.

            Sirius accepted his kisses.

            "You say this will happen every year?"

            "Yes." Remus eyed him like a flank steak.

            "I could get used to this," Sirius said, grabbing him.

            He kissed Remus, "Now. Let me turn off TV…"

            Remus threw the remote behind the couch and he slammed Sirius against the couch.

            "Leave that bloody thing on.

***

            "Did I mention that my Remus is double jointed?"

            Bosco yawned.

            Sirius looked at his beer that was empty.  He shook it

            "Did I also mention that Remus can put his entire fist in his mouth?  My entire fist in his mouth?"

            Bosco laid his head against the ground and put a paw over his eyes.

            "Well anyway, Remus gets a little enthusiastic."

***

            They fell off the couch.

            THUD.

Remus straddled him and he thrust up into him with his hips.

            "Oh Goooooooooood…. I want to have your baby…"

***

            Sirius finally set the beer down.

            "If I would have stayed conscious for much longer I might have responded with more questions.  Now, Remus is always saying something, usually something I can't understand, 'Oh Padfoot, give it to me…' 'I am so hungry.' or certain verbs with four letters and certain appellations.   He'd used the word Baby before.  But the 'oh Baby harder' kind of baby."

            "Remus seems strangely fine, he lets me pass out.  Without one slight to my virility or stamina.  He can be quite catty you realize when he is in peak season.  He has awesome recovery time.  This time he actually let me sleep."

            "So next morning we proceeded to do business as usual."

***

            Remus made pancakes and placed crumpets in the toaster

            "Breakfast."

            "How you doing?"

            "I feel very good.  Very, Very, Very laid," Remus said

            "You got dressed," Sirius pointed.

            "This morning, when you dead and twitching."

            "Twitch? Never." Sirius shook his head.

            "You did and you were mumbling about quasars." Remus grinned.

            "You forgot to turn off the TV."

            "hmmm"

            "The shows were over for almost a day."

            "I'll turn it off next time.

            Sirius pulled Remus to his lap.

            "I'm almost sorry your season is ending."

            "Oh, you've been so good." Remus kissed his neck.

            "If we would have a baby."

            "Oh yes, little baby would be pretty.  Little golden eyes and dark black hair." Sirius said lightly.  "Course we'd have to explain a few things."

            "All the Lupins have blue eyes though.  I don't know if she will have them." Remus said. "Yeah.  You've got sisters don't you?"

            "Yeah?"

            "When we would have a baby, it might be a girl."

            "Yeah?"

            "Yes a little girl…"   Remus hugged himself.

            "Remus you okay."

            "When we have a baby I-"

            "Remus this is a question of what if, not when.  I can't really get you pregnant."

            "Well…" Remus lowered his gave demurely.

            "Oh don't get cute on me, Lupin.  This is case of what bleeding if."

            "Sirius…. My love."

            "Oh no." He retracted his hands.  "You never call me my love unless you want something. No one ever uses that word unless they have some heavy emotional blackmail coming up."

            "I think something wonderful happened last night."

            "Well yeah.  I am a stud…"  Sirius grinned and scratched the back of his head.

            "That was more than anything.  You really, I'm surprised I didn't pass out.  It was so fierce and passionate, and yet loving and tender…  I don't think that was normal."

            "It was fabulous.  I agree.  I haven't ever been able to do that kind of stuff with anyone else.  I don't think I ever want to make love to another person again." Sirius said.

            "I know you're going to leave.  I just wanted to…" Remus embraced him "Sirius, I think you did something to me."

            "Oh yeah. Course I did." Sirius grinned. "Three times."

            "I can't make you stay. I just feel so different inside.  We're not just friends anymore.  We really are mates.  And I don't want you to go."

            Sirius cradled Remus for a second

            "You said that you would let me go.  You wouldn't let me take up the slack.  You wouldn't die for me.  I'm sorry.  But I have to protect you if I love you."

            "I lied….  Sirius, I lied.  I'm a vicious liar." Remus wiped his crying face against him. "I think you did something to be… My heart won't stay still.  It's like it has two beats."

            "Remus have you been drinking…  I thought that was my job." Sirius sniffed and tipped his head to one side, regarding Remus with a confused expression.

            "I think… I think… Sirius…"

            "Now Mooney, you aren't saying…"

            "Sirius."

            "You are tired.  You don't want me to leave.  You're talking crazy."

            "Sirius, please just listen to it.  Listen to my heart.  It's like…"

            "I think I'm going to…."

***

            Sirius rested on his elbow.

            "I thought to myself, thought Maybe he's straight and didn't tell me… but considering last night… Maybe's he's bi.  This is what I had hoped.  So I decided to pack a bag and storm out. Be big and dramatic so Remus would want to dump me."

***

            Remus blocked himself in front of the door.

            "Put your clothes back in the drawer.

            Sirius covered his mouth, "I can't stay here, Moony.  It's not good.  I can't torture you and bother you like this."

            "Sirius."

            "I have…  I better get lost.  The Aurors will have my trail any minute."

            "Sirius, don't go.  I need you to listen. Listen to the two heartbeats.  She's-"

            "She? What she?  Now I'm beginning to hope you're just straight and didn't tell me."

            "You can feel my heart." Remus grabbed his hand.

            "No two heart beats as one.  No no.  No beating of the hearts two as one.  I got to go get some air."    

            Sirius squirmed past Remus.  Out the door down the stairs and onto the street.

            "I knew it couldn't bloody last…  I knew you'd find someone else….  Fine go ahead.  Thanks for the shelter."  Sirius said not even looking over his shoulder.

            "There is no one else.  Now there's only her. Now   You and Me and her and"

            Sirius slammed the door.

            Remus ran out of the apartment onto the balcony.  Clenching his fists around the railing and shouting so the whole neighborhood could hear.

            "Goddamn you, low class Cockney Halfblood mongrel bastard!  You can't leave me. I'm going to have your baby."

            And at this Sirius Black began running faster then he ever had in his entire life.

***

            Berney had actually waited watching the fridge until Bosco came back. "Why is the dog bringing out my beer to his house?" Berney grumbled "Lousy Jacky.  All he does is steal and run around like a moron…  Trying to eat the squirrels on the bird feeder."
            Berney followed his dog outside to his house.

            Bosco placed down the beer.    Then Berney heard a voice from within.  Could the dog be doing that?

            "You took a long time, Bosco."   A man blubbered. "I have to tell you about my mummy.  I miss my Mummy!"

            The dog barked

            "I don't talk about your mum."

            The dog barked again.

            "No he is not a tart!  You take that back. You're taking it all out of context. Remus is not a-"

            The dog continued barking.

            "He's not a-  wait.  Well maybe you're right there…"

            The dog growled and yipped.   

            "You know Bosco old buddy you… certainly got a mouf on you when you drink."  The man said "I'll take for granted ya drank too much, you soddin jacky."

            Berney looked at the man.  He was hanging upside down. With beer bottle hanging out of his mouth.     

            This man was talking to a dog.

            "Um Are you drunk sir?"

            The Man pulled himself out of the dog house.

            "I came in 'ere drunk and I'm goin to leave 'ere drunk." Sirius said.  "You got a problem with that, mate?"

            "Uh…"

            "I'll be on my way soon enough.  I drink any more lager me brain is goin to shut… down.  But Bosco's been knockin them back, eh jacky?"

            The dog barked with a slur.

            "Honey."  The man said running inside to get his wife.

            Sirius rested on the side of the dog house drinking his beer.

            "I love muggle Surrey."

**

            "A crazy old bum is in our dog house.  He's the one stealing the beer."

            "Well then call the police Berney.  I love to here you half hour tirade about how a dog is stealing your lager."

            "Now we don't need to do that. He's completely bonkers.  He's talking to our dog. "Of course Berney didn't want admit to her that the dog seems to have started it and seemed to be talking to him as well. "I'll give him some change.  Maybe he'll go away."

            Berney stuck his head in the Dog house.  The grimy man returned.

            "He returns anon." Sirius mumbled. "Whence did thou come stranger?"

            "Could you please.. not be here?  You look… horrible?  Why don't you go to the shelter or something?"

            "Nope, they'll find me there.  So-"

            "What if they find you in my dog house? Because I believe they exist too. I don't want no one to get hurt. Live and let live.  Here I got a few pounds why don't you just go find someplace else to sleep."

            "But I like this place.  It's one of the American jobs.  All plastic.  Much nicer than a forest glade.  I-"

            "Look please.  It's rather obvious.  If I were looking for a bloke I'd pay attention is a guy was sleeping in a dog house."

            "Alright.  I wouldn't want no drunken sod in me 'ouse either.  You're a good man… man.  What's your name?"

            "Berney Catcher."

            "If you will excuse me.  I have to go see a man about a horse."

            The man looked around, pulled a leather pouch out of his pocket.

            He placed a bag of sickles in the man's hand.

            The coins jangle. They were solid silver.  Berney yelped.

            Berney ran into the house.

            "Honey, Darla, look it's-"

            "For god sakes, Berney, it's just a bloody beer.  Now shut up. I'm trying to watch this.  She's up to 125,000 dollars."

            Bosco walked in staggering drunkenly he fell over.

            "Well Bosco, I guess she doesn't want to see my treasure..."

***

Lesson 12:  The people we are mean to are the most like us.

            Remus Lupin stood at the head of the class.

            "The best defense if you should come upon an invisible phantom is to eject a stream of powder or in this case a fine steam so that the light rays bounce off of him.  This is an ineffective strategy should your opponent be non corporeal, but it will work well on Unicorns Wraith and Phantoms of the non-ghost persuasion.

            Neville was invisible.

            "Neville has an invisibility spell upon him.  So he does have mass."

            "Yeah little butterball has a lot of mass." Draco said "Must weight 300 pounds."

            "Malfoy."

            Draco got swatted on the back of the head.

            "I knew that was you Longbottom.  Come here and fight me."

            Neville laughed.  "This is so awesome."

            "Well now it's time for me to show the class where you are. You must enunciate the spell.  Nebulosa Incantate."

            They waved their wands.

            Thick jets of steam ejected from their wands.  Soon a hazy human like shape appeared.

            Remus pointed his wand "Nebulosa Incantate!"

            And at this a huge torrent of rain fell upon them.  In every corner of the classroom was wet.  All over the classroom.

            The students were drenched from their robes to their skins

            "Uggggh."

            "What on Earth?"  Remus cried.  "Class are you alright."

            Neville complained from an unseen region "Professor Lupin.  I got milk in my hair."

            Harry shouted "I can't see.  Oh god…. Something is on my glasses."

            "This is milk." Hermione wiped out her eyes.

            "What?" Ron said.

            "Milk is Lactase Intolerato!"

            A big steel milk can fell from the sky as soon as Remus mentioned the words.

            Remus looked at his wand, shook it.  He muttered spells to himself.

            "Accio Notebook."

            A half gallon jug of milk appeared.

            "Expecto Patronum."

            A glass of milk appeared.

            "Mr. Potter may I be so kind as to borrow your wand."

            "I can't see." Harry moaned trying to wipe off his glasses with his milk soaked robes.

            Remus took Ron's wand out of his hand. "Winguardia Levosa?"

            A cow fell out of the sky on the other side of Draco Malfoy.

            "Dwahh!"  The Slytherin held his heart.

            "I think I should dismiss class now."

            Harry still was trying to clean his glasses.

            "Does anyone have any old newspapers and ammonia?"

            "Draco… you can go."

            Draco only shivered in his seat as the cow mooed.

            Hagrid arrived with a box of potatoes and half of a lime, in little sections like oranges for Remus's snack "Dang Nabbit.  What did you do here Remus?  I heard a crash from upstairs."

            Draco looked up "Cow… McGon...mugga mugga."

            "Oh.  Well that's expected.  Your pups outta be coming soon."

            "It's in Lowry-Berrington's Lives of Werewolves. Page 324."

            Remus wrung the milk out of his robes, picked up the book.

            "Oh really funny.  This is a book on Dog breeding.  You scamp."  Remus frowned.

            "Well you could have gotten it on someone's spectacles."

            "Why is all of Remus's magic producing milk?"

            "Oh my god.  He's really convinced himself he's pregnant.  He's to the milk stage." Snape looked all around shaking his head.   He tried not to do anything so gauche as laugh until he had to leave the room.

            McGonagall cleared her throat and straightened her glasses.

"In the last stages of pregnancy the bitch will produce large quantities of milk."

            Everyone began sniggering.

            "I'm not that bad.  Snape, would you please finish my lesson.

            "Mr. Snape.  Do you have any toxic chemicals, which I could clean my glasses with?

            "Just…Snape cover my classes.  I have to go turn my mattress.  I can't think of anything else to do."

***

            Remus paced about in his room.  He'd locked the door a few times already.

            "Someone's in here?"

            "No deary." The Fisherwoman said "You're being paranoid."

            "I just keep on feeling like I'm being watched…  I've got to find some place to be quiet.  Safe.  Where no one will know where I am."

            "No one is in here." The Fisherwoman said.  "Now sit down and drink some tea."

            "I know just the place.  Don't tell anyone where I left.  Sne dHagrid down when he gets here with my pizza?"

            Hagrid knocked on his door.

            "Remus your pizza.  Just like you wanted. Pineapple ham peppers.  And a bottle of butterscotch topping."  Hagrid pursed his lips trying not to sound disgusted.

            "I couldn't find a can of whip cream so I got a tub of it."  Hagrid tried not to become sick.

            "Where is Remus?"

***

            Snape stood at the head of his seventh year Sound Glamours class.

            "No to make to make the Talent Glamour.  You must pay close attention.  You must and I repeat must be precise in all of your procedures so as to fend off the most disasterous of explosions."

            "Pizza."

            If there was something that could drive Snape into a rage it was the thought that one of his students would ever be so callous so low minded so thoughtless as to interrupt his class for personal business.  He could tolerate a person going to the bathroom or raising there hand to ask inane questions.  But there were some things he would not tolerate.  There had been an oral legend that once he threw a student out a window for bringing a walk mage.  Of course he had only thrown the device and sent the student into a year of detention.  There was also the rumor that he had eaten a cellphone that went off during one of his lectures at one of his lectures at the Symposium of  Alchemical Studies.  How they found out about it at Hogwarts he would never know.  But he hadn't swallowed the bloody thing.  Just crushed it with his teeth.

            Snape yanked the pizza from Hagrid's hands.  The giant ran away

            "He's going to eat the pizza!"

            "PIZZA?"

            The class began trembling… clutching each other.  Starinbg with catatonic eyes.  Hoping it would be swift.

            "There will be no Pizza in my classroom."

            Severus began hitting the pizza over the desk, smashing the box with his fist/

  Who ordered this wheel of cardboard and wax?"

            He through it on the floor and jumped up and down on it."

            He finally bwegan to stop stomping it.  He caught his breath. He lifted one finger. I demand to know what fool thought that this would be alright to order a pizza in my class?"

            The students gasped.

            "Ooh goody it's here."

            From behind the safety shower, popped out Remus Lupin's head.

            "I'm sorry did I interrupt you."

            "Ye-ee----he—e- s."  Snape said holding up his hands like claws.

            "Well I wanted to sit in on your class. But I got hungry.  So I asked Hagrid to bring down my lunch."

            "Whaaaaat?"  His fingers were still contorted into a throttling shape.

            "I didn't think I would upset you.  Oh I have."

            "Professor Snape.  He put butterscotch on his pizza." George whinced.

            "I'm willing to share. "  He slapped a glop of whip cream on the slice.  I couldn't possibly finish it.

            Lee Jordan ran to the lavoratory turning bright green.

            The students began gagging.

            Snape began changing colors himself

            "That is it.  I can tolerate no more."

            He zapped the Pinaple and Butterscotch pizza and stormed out of his own class.

***

            All the teachers heard someone thundering down the hall.  They peeped out of their classrooms.  To see a black cape and fierce look on his face.

            He slammed open the doors of McGonagall's office.

            McGonagall was frozen in her seat as she saw the infuriated Potionsmaster stomping into her office.  All the other teachers were coming into her office from the hall to see what had happened, and possibly how to protect the students from it."

            "Professor Snape. Are you well?  Your eyes are…  um… Hi." McGonagall stammered.

            "He ordered a pizza in my classroom." He hissed through his teeth .  His fists were red.  A huge vein had started throbbing in his forehead.  His jaw set in a fearsome leer.

            McGonagall tried patting him on the shoulder.  She cringed.  She was surprised he didn't bite her.

            "Well… Severus is the person who ordered the pizza still alive?"

            "Remus LUPIN!  I want him out of my classroom."

            "Oh… well."

            "Get him out of my classroom."  Severus growled in her face.

            Flitwick and Sprout began huddling together. Even Hagrid gulped.

            "Buck up mates, at least Snape didn't kill him." Hooch said "Eh, maties?"

***

            Minerva knocked lightly on the door to the classroom.  

            "Yes.  Remus. Are you alright in there?"

            "I'm hungry.  Snape killed my pizza."

            "Remus!"

            "Go away.  You just want to hurt me."

            "Pet this is a classroom." McGonagall said "Professor Snape's classroom.  He feels put out."

            "But…."

            "Oh Remus.  How are they going to have potions class if you lock yourself in the room?"

            "He could cancel class."  Ron said exstatically.
            "We're getting that werewolf out of here."

            "You can't upset him.  He could do something stupid?"

            "Stupid.  He ordered a pizza in my class.  He's barricaded himself in there. He's gone beyond doing anything stupid."

            Snape closed his eyes, "But I've got to calm down.  I'm in a moonlit meadow.  The crickets are chirping in the summer heat, the frogs are croaking singing love songs to each other. A lithe silver cat hunts cicadas and moonbeams.  In the distance the rustle of deer feet from behind the pine tree.  And the flash of a hares tails.  All is peace all is calm… All is right in the world.  I'm in the happy place."  Severus rubbed his aching head.

            "What are you doing?"

            "I learned this in Anger management class, so I would stop punching people in the face and busting furniture over their heads." Snape said.

            "And it works?" Minerva snorted.

            Caius the raven popped out of the woodwork. "Cricket Cricket.  Moon lit meadow. Cricket"

            "Why must you mock me?"  Snape tried to shoo away his bird.

            "Oh my god it seems to have worked." Minerva realized as Snape's breathing became softer.

            "Now we need a plan."

            "Well now at Least I can tear his stupid teddy bear into small bits.  Caius would you like a chew toy?"

            Caius flapped his wings loudly –"Kam'ron –R-AAA-AT!"

            Remus poked his head out. "What?  How di you get my--"

            Severus grabbed him by the arm and judo flipped him out of the class room.

            "Students quickly now."  The fourth years began running inside.  Remus groaned.

            "See ya Latah. Suckah" Caius shouted.

            Remus made an indignant shriek. As he made a dash for the door.

            Snape slammed the door in his face.

            "Let me in."

            "No." Snape said.  "And I'm letting Caius play with your teddy bear."

            "He's a collectors item.  You can't do this to him."Remus pounded on the door.

            Snape let the pounding continue.

            "You can't keep me out forever! I need some place to hide." Remus pounded on the door.

            Inside the classroom the class waited for Snape.  Snape clutched his forehead muttering about a mountain brook in the moonlight.  The fourth years all stood very still.  Harry, Hermione and Ron listened at the door.  Inivisible Neville Longbottom began to gaps in anticipation.  Draco bit his nails.

            "He appears to be gone." Snape said.  The class began to breath.

            "Goyle, would you please make sure that Professor Lupin doesn't break into my classroom and try to build a next again?"

            "OOooh Would it be extra credit?" Hermione said "Cause I'd be happy to do it.  Is it, Professor Snape?"

            Snape walked over to the wall "I'm in a moonlit mountain meadow I'm in the happy place…."

He looked up.

            "Yes.  Why not?"Snape rubbed his temples. "Hermione, you are in charge of keeping the pregnant werewolf out of my laboratory.  I'll see what I can do."

            ***

            Hermione did a great job during the day, it did mean the Weasel and Potter were there with her in his classroom, and he had no excuse to take off any Points for Potter.  But he could always hope.  And if one infusion of Cheerful Gryffindor teacher ruined his mood and classroom what could three Gryffindors do?

            When they went up for Dinner, Lupin snuck in. 

            The wolf crept on light padded feet and locked the door behind him.  Then he barricaded it with a desk an a grade three cauldron.

            Snape knew it was too late when he heard Harry Poter whining.  It was almost too precious. Lupin locked the door on his precious Potter.

            "Professor Lupin you can't have your puppies in there." Harry said

            "Snape will be mean to them." Ron said.

            "Their growth will get all stunted from the chemicals." Hermione looked up from her Werewolf book.

            "It's the safest place it the schools."

            "But Snape will be mean to the puppies."  Ron said. 

            "Bloody heaven Weasely. I'm not going be mean to Lupin's imaginary children."

            "They might start taking after him." Ron whispered to Harry.  "I once read a book where and elephant sat on a nest and it turned into a baby Elephant."

            "Ron, that was 'Horton Hears A Who!'  That can't happen." Harry said.

            "15 points from Gryffindor. For volume control mostly." Snape grumbled "Now get out of here."

            "Wow.  I didn't think he'd be that kind." Hermione said "We must have done a good job."

            Snape sighed. "You tried as hard as a Gryffindor may when they are trying to mess up their precious little friends.  I'll give 30 thousand points to whoever helps me cover up the murder."

            "Professor-"

            "I was kidding, Potter.  Get a sense of humour. Lets see.  Minus 15 points for each of you plus 5 more for Potter. That's 50 points for the lot of you."

            "Only 50 points off.  We must be improving."  Hermione whispered to the others as they went up to Gryffindor Tower.

            Snape levitated the cauldron out of the war and walked into the classroom. He finally managed to open his door. Snape looked at Lupin. Lupin was sleeping and drooling on a desk.  The poor thing was run ragged.  He'd be really easy to throw out now.  Of course he wuld come back once he got rested.  It looked like he was puppy sitting again.  Perhaps if he was drugged.

            "You are sleeping here now?"

            "It's safe here.  I could just…." Remus rubbed his face "I need some place to hide."

            Snape looked at Lupin haggered and black eyed.  Was he going to knock him unconscious and drag him out?  He'd work on the first part.

            "Well you could come into my parlor for some tea, Professor Lupin?"

            "Tea?" Lupin lifted his head.

            "Tea."

            "Tea?"

            "Little cups of hot water infused with herbs.  A little cream.  Small cookies. Tea. Don't be so damn dense.  I make tea.  I do excellent tea.  And I don't entertain except in extreme circumstances.  So I suggest you follow me and get something in your stomach."

            Remus stood up

            "I would like a spot of tea.  I feel tired."

            "Come on 'Mummy.'  I can even make it herbal.  No caffeine.  Wouldn't want to hurt little 'baby.'"

            "Because you're not throwing me out…" Remus struggled pathetically.  He was getting quite sick.

            "I've practically been commanded by the Ministry of Magic not to upset you."

            "You're just like him."

            Snape put him on his couch. "Well that's good to know…" He nodded dumbly.

            "You don't know who I'm talking about." Remus frowned.

            "And I don't care, too. What a coincidence!  I think I have some Ginger snaps?"

            Remus was plunked on the parlor couch.

            "Wait right here."

            Snape produced a tray of black cookies with green frosting in the shape of Satanic ritual signs.

            Remus grabbed one.  They looked so dark.  This one was in the shape of shape of a Sephiroth and a tree of life.  He pushed it aside. Perhaps later.

            "He said that.  He said. It's in your head, Remus.  You're just making it up. You just want attention." Remus wept.  "I don't want this to happen."

            "I know you're making it up.  So we don't have to discuss it."  Snape patted him on the head.  "Now don't vomit on my couch."

            He grabbed a goats head symbol.  "Try them."

            Remus took a bite.  He became weak in the knees.  It was utterly fabulous.  He'd never had fresh ginger snaps.

            "That's a ginger snap?  You should call them Ginger Snapes…"

            Snape ignored the joke.  He'd only heard it oh a few thousand times."It's the molasses actually.  It adds a darker texture to the ginger flavor.  The frostings a simple butter cream but it's fabulous to decorate with.  Course had I been informed earlier I might have bothered with my white chocolate frosting."

            Remus grabbed another cookie.

            "You just couldn't understand.  You've never been in love like this.  Your ambition in life is to give students D's on papers.  I'm a little warmer than that." Remus said, "I am a man of passions and desires."

            "And neuroses," Snape said, sipping his tea.

            "I just have to wait for Sirius to come back." Remus said rolling his head about, weary of life.

            "Oh yes.  When your baby comes. Certainly. I'll bet you'll make the picture of domestic tranquility.  Murderer father, Werewolf man mother, and any Dementors that happen to want to bop off your husband."

            "I don't know what I'll do if Sirius leaves me." Remus wept into his cashmere pillow. 

            Snape pulled it away and moved in closer "There ther."  He poked him with his finger.  Remus turned. Snape gave him a cheap cotton pillow. "Don't cry then.  I'm sure he'll come back if he doesn't die or have his soul taken away.  After all it's not like anyone is stupid enough to date him."

            "I need Sirius. What will I do?"  Remus tried desperately to grab Snape.  The Potionsmaster stood up quickly.  He almost had been hugged.

            "You can always give them up for Adoption.  Put an add in the Daily Prophet. Puppies: Free to a good home, Parentage: Questionable."

            "You're an awful man." Remus through the cheap pillow at Snape.

            "So I have been told.  I have to keep myself occupied in some fashion…" He muttered into his tea cup… "Until it starts to work."

            Remus looked up with heavy eyes, "What workssss?

             "Right, the potion ought to kick in right about now."

            "Me…" Remus zonked on the couch.  The snore was deafening.

            "Hmmm.  No sleeping in my class. You're going to stay here in the parlor."

            This was a much gentler sleeping spell.  He could always pop him some Draught of Living Death, but it seemed like it would ruin the tea, when Shimmer Sleep would do.  Besides, he didn't want him howling and whimpering about a headache.  Snape was sure that nothing could be worse then a male pregnant werewolf with a nasty hangover from sleeping drugs.

            He picked up Remus and laid him out so he could rest comfortably. My word even after all the attention and all the meals lavished the werewolf, he still could pick him up.  He was a wretched little waif.  No wonder the paintings planned to tar and feather the bloke who did this to him.

            The wet gargling of Remus's large nose was softened when he laid on his side.

***

            Auror Lukas and Auror Grieves sat on the park Bench of Kensington Gardens.  Hopefully none of their colleagues would hear their planning here.  They didn't want to get anyone's hopes up.  The second they knew a werewolf was involved they would call the Magical Creatures Division, and Lupin would be in danger.  They couldn't depend on anyone not overreacting.  After all, Polaris Black was on the war path.

            Fen threw bread into the duck pond."

            "Remus said the father of his baby is Sirius Black."

            "You mean the Ivory tower of Hogwarts is besmirched?  You're saying that they know something about Black at Hogwarts."

            "I gave that guy meat off my own plate.  He was banging a killer."

            "Fen, what is up?"

            "Remus and him were buds in school. Do you think that…"

            "Why don't we just go ask the others in that group?"

            "Harry Potter,  Halloween 1981, Lukas…"
            "Oh. Right."
            "What about this guy?"

            "You don't understand.  That was the wizard he killed. Peter Pettigrew got the First Order of Merlin."

            "I can't believe a skinny little dork like Lupin would be involved."

            "It was 1981 Halloween.  It happened after The Potter incident.  It was as fair and foul a day as there ever was.  The nail in their own coffin."

            "So you're going to read into this.  You think that Remus is hiding him."

            "I haven't pulled myself out of the gutter by bad instincts.  Remus is not for the Dark. He certainly wouldn't have told us who Black is."

            "Then why is he with Sirius Black?"

            "He could have fallen with the wrong crowd.  They were buddies at Hogwarts, and if Remus Lupin is right… they are mates."

            "This is the kind of thing that happens when you think with what's between your pants."

            "Let's go out to Hogwarts tonight then.  Talk to Remus. Check on Potter."

****

            Harry Potter arrived at dinner, with his two friends on his arms. when Albus Dumbledore approached him.

            "There you are Harry.  I tried everything to stop them."

            "What's going on Headmaster Dumbldore?"

            "Dementors?"

            "Voldemort."

            There was nothing I could do.  But I've come to warn you." Dumbledore looked over his shoulder."Harry Something has happened."

            "What is it?  Is it Lupin?  I would have felt if it were Voldemort."

            "No Harry don't open that door." Dumbledore cried out.         

            Harry walked into the dining hall.

            All of sudden he was pounced upon by tall Hufflepuffs with moustaches and press passes underneath their robes.  Bulb flashes left him blind and grasping.  He wished he had gotten the milk off his glasses.  The scratching of quick quote quills.

            "Oh I have failed." Dumbledor clutched his head.

            "Mr. Potter, The Magus.  How are you coping with the return of Sirius Black to England?"

            "You aren't Hufflepuffs." Harry hissed.

            "Reporters are forbidden in this part of the school.  Please.  I will not turn this event into a circus." Dumbledore said, "Kindly wait outside the castle gates.

            "They were pretending to be students. You people are insane.  I don't wan to talk to anyone."

            "Is it true that he is your own Godfather…"  The Salem Scryer witch was pushed away.

            "I know Harry.  But I'm afraid the cat is out of the bag.  Sirius Black is returned and the Aurors are on his trail." Dumbeldore said.

            "What can we do?"

            "Nothing I fear…  What's worse I think that Minister Fudge will exploit this situation to further his public image.  If he should send one dementor onto school grounds…"

            "That won't be necessary."  Two big burly wizards appeared.  "We've been sent by Minister Fudge to protect young Mr. Potter.  He knows that you didn't fancy any of them dementors.  But it's the least he could do.  His private bodyguards."

            "You mean I have to be guarded from my own godfather.  I don't think so."

            "Well it's the Minister's orders.  We're ordered to take you to the safety of your room."

            "But I haven't even washed my glasses yet.  I'm hungry."

            "Misiter Fudge's orders."

            "Master Dumbledore."  Harry shouted as on of the Hitwizards slung him over his shoulder.

***

            Snape and Hagrid had gotten into Remus's quarters and Hagrid was content to carry him.  Hagrid had decided it be best if someone watch him sleep.  He'd already made it through most of the night when Hagrid knocked on SNape's door.

            "Well I'll be heading to bed myself.  Ye gonna stay here to make sure Lupin's all right."

            "It's not the strongest one.  He'll be up in the morning.  Bounding back to my classroom."

            "I think he trusts you to want to have his puppies in your class.  I wish he liked me that much.  I only do all the hard work.  Not even a bloody thank you."

            "Ooh maybe he'll make you Godfather instead of Voldemort."

            "Now I have to work on his snack.  Fish heads and chocolate sauce."

            Snape began to look around the chambers.

            "You should go.  Go on."  The Fisherwoman shooed him away.

            He saw a strange copper bowl.

            He had seen only one like it at Hogwarts.

            This was a pensieve.  A copper pensieve.         

            Snape touched on the edges of the pensieve, saw everything so horrendously clear.  He was in a dark room.  A stone room.

A mother and a father.  His pie faced sweet mother with black hair, petting his head and kissing him on the cheek and on his wrists.  There was pain in her face, despite the gentle smile. Remus looked up at her.

Then the manacles.

"Mummy what are these?"

"This won't hurt. You're a big boy now.  Can't leave you locked in the room. You might break out. "

"They probably will hold you in."  Father said, giving his son a buss on the top of his head.

"Remus."  The manacles clanked against his wrist.  "You be a good boy.  I love you."

"Mummy what are you doing?"

She moved away.

"Remus.  I'm going to go now.  I have dishes and…"

"Where are you going Mummy?"

"You be good."  The father turned away.

"Don't leave me Mummy.  Please. Give me someone to talk too. It's so boring. Can't we play chess or something."

"I'll be right here outside the door if you need anything.  You just-"

"But Mummy please. Come on.  It won't hurt you."

"Remus.  I will be right out here."

"Mummy, Stay…."

Remus grabbed her skirt and pulled her over, "Why don't you stay a bit…"  Mummy ran out and slammed the door.

The door shut.  Remus could see in the dark.

            Snape let go immediately.  The closet was coming back.  The cool the dark the small he shook himself off.  The feeling of his own's fathers hand on his collar, shoving him in.  Bruises were undignified, scars unfit for a son of Snape.  Father was proud he would never stoop to hitting a child, as his own father had. Caligula Tiberius Snape could stoop much much lower.

            Snape was frozen watching inside of Remus's head this time.

            He could have never imagined what it was like, except watching it.  The blissful darkness closed in.

            The time shifted. Remus, maybe ten years ago.  The manacles were twice as thick, connected to an iron chain and on his feet as well.

            A little old lady, grayer in hair, stood there with a nice tray of biscuits and tea.

            "Remus.  Please stay here.  We can take care of you. We've always have.  You just need to get back on your feet.  It can't be easy with all your… well not all.  We'll keep you here…"

            But he couldn't hear the words.  Was he inside Remus?  Had the pensieve taken inside the wolf mind.  Her words vanished just sounds and air.  A feverish haze of emotion. Hatred… Loathing/anger/lust/hunger/pain.

            Snape, the helpless watcher could do nothing.  Watch this creature rip his own mother to shreds.  More anger more anger….

            "No."

            The old lady fell down with the tray and the tea spilt against the wall.  Once again fear was in the beast mind.  He jumped back in the corner.

            She jumped back.  She fell, not as spry as she used to be.

            Remus's body jerked forward pouncing deadly. Snape, the watcher, winced.

            He stopped.  Pain Pain pain.  In his hand.  The chains.  Blessed chains.  Salvation. Rebirth. Remus screamed. He knew that scream.  He made that scream.  The scream of death, when there was no other scream to do.  The last scream.  He screamed that way when Caligula Snape died.  When Voldemort broke his soul.  He knew the scream

            The old woman cried.

            "Come closer Mummy."

            "Remus, punkin.  You're not thinking right."

            "Closer Mummy."

            "What do you think they would say if they could see you?  Peter and James are dead, but you are alive.  Now please Remus. Just calm down."

            "Get over here." Remus shouted.

            "What would your friends say?  Remus please…  Please."

            "Come closer Mummy."

            "I love you Remus.  I do."

            The old woman took up her robes and walked away.

            "Mummy please let me out.  Please.  I promise.  I won't hurt you.  I won't…HURT you, it won't hurt."

            "Don't you want to give your little son a kiss. Make it all better."

Kay Lupin buried her head in her husbands chest and closed the door.

            Remus put his hand on his shoulder.  The now Remus and the Remus in the pensieve merging and fading.

            After that, Snape learned better to ask for another's pensieve.  Everyone has their own life, their own dirty laundary.  More of it was the same.  He could remember the own pain of his childhood cloistering, for being nothing more than noisy.  And yet Remus in lonely agony for his condition.  It could make one weep if they could have tears.  On the surface an image of Sirius Black began surfacing. Snape knew it was better to leave it alone.

            There is two ways to tell if a man has seen hell.  If he is very worried, very angry.  If his heart is cold and his eyes are blank, or he's very happy.

            "What are you doing?" Remus raised one eyebrow.

            Snape was rather breathless.

            "How long have you been using this thing.

            "Just for a minute."

            "It's ten AM."

"My word.  I wasted the night in there."

            "I'll get you a drink." Remus said retreating to his next room getting a glass and warm brandy.

            Remus sat him down.  "Take a sip."

            Snape took the glass and downed it.

            "I needed that." He coughed.

            "You like my new Pensieve?  It's rather deep.  It takes you into the mind of the user."

            Snape sighed accepted another sip and placed down the glass.

            "Now.  Lets see… Yes what are you doing?"

            "Snooping for something scandalous that'll get you fired," Snape said.

            "You should have checked my sock drawer.  I don't think casual matricide is quite what you are looking for." Remus said.  He pulled back the glass, "Oh by the way Mummy's quite fine." Remus smiled, "Sent a scrying bowl to me yesterday."

            "Well then I'll leave."

            "All right.  I was just thinking working out a problem.  I have to drain off the stronger memories first.  Or they will overwhelm me."

            Remus swirled the bowl around.

            "I think it was here.  Look."

            The thoughts dripped from his fingers. Remus looked up, smiled at Snape.  The vision with Sirius was becoming stronger. It looked like the 70's.  It became to clear for Snape.

            "Is that the Shrieking Shack?" Snape asked.

            "Yes 1975.  Fifth year when…"

            Snape scowled. "I remember ever moment of that night."

            Remus frowned and continued scrying. What was this?  What head games was the werewolf pulling? Why was Lupin toying around with such memories?  Was he rubbing it in?  They had almost killed him and Dumbledore protected them.

            No that wasn't Remus Lupin. He was probably pretending that he was sorry. Lupin was wallowing in indulgent guilt.  As if he had anything to do with it. Lupin had no idea about anything.  He was a werewolf and as helpless to control his rage as anyone.

            Snape stopped his thoughts before they became too soft.  Remus Lupin had tried to eat him.

            Snape remembered the moment in his own eyes but he was seeing it through the eyes of the wolf mind of Remus.  Human screams so indifferent.  James Potter stamping in… a haze…  It was much hazier when you weren't touching it.

            "I didn't know they made them this deep."

            "This isn't good one.  Have seen Dumbledore's? That's a good Pensieve.  This may be too powerful for me."

            "How did a Professor afford one of these things?"

            "My father worked in at Barrington's Scrying Bowls and Cisterns Factory for forty years.  He was a salariwizard. My father bought it for my birthday.  He got a decent company discount."

            Noise was radiating off the bowl. 

            "Stop it." Snape couldn't bear to hear his own screams.  Sirius Black's repugnant voice trembling "Oh hell.  Remus stop it!"

            "Don't kil me please…."

            "No I'm looking." Remus winced,  "I've been thinking very hard on that day.  Ever since he came back I have.  I wonder what evil was in us to make us do that to another person for fun."

            Remus got a genuine soft look of shame.  All were common and natural to his pointed little face.  Snape was hit with pity.  How could it be?  What was it like? To be trapped in the werewolf body to do such violence and never realize it until it was too late… No.  Snape gritted his teeth.  He could not yield.  He tried to remember his careless claws in the moonlight.

            "You're sorry you almost killed me, then?"  Snape snorted, "Well I was the one who almost got killed.  So you can feel all the guilt you want.  I hope it almost kills you."

            Snape turned on his heel snapping his cape

            Remus stared into the liquid swirling around. He didn't even look up as he asked the question. "Do you fear me?  Do you fear what I would have made you?"

            Snape paused.  He hadn't expected that.  Snape the werewolf.  That was probably the only creature in existence who could have been more pathetic and loathsome than Snape the man.

            How close had he been to Remus that night?  How close had he come to the reluctant brotherhood of werewolves?  The forced brotherhood of Remus Lupin.  They would have been bonded forever in some ways.  He'd like to see how James Potter would have treated him then, if he was Remus's chylde.  They certainly wouldn't have pulled the infamous Armadillo incident in 7th year transfigurations class. 

            "I think you'd be better at it then I am."

            "Really fascinating." Snape lifted his head.

            Snape turned around "If you would tell no one I always wondered what kind of werewolf I would have made.  There is always something back in my head that asks what would have happened.  I guess it's just morbid curiosity."

            Remus took his hands out of the pensieve.

            "How can you forgive me?"

            "I don't, Lupin." Snape said with no bile in his voice.  How it wavered, when someone looked at him so warmly.  So kind.  He was going to get in trouble.

            "Snape, there are only so many divisions evil can make.  I will get you to forgive me.  I don't care what I must suffer.  There are debts that must be repaid."

            "And debts that cannot be repaid." Snape looked coolly at Remus, "I do not forgive."

            "Nor do you accept forgiveness I see.  When you make a true friend, nothing can break that.  I've seen your loyalty to Dumbledore, to this school.  Your loyalty is strong, you've forgiven already."

            Remus looked.

            "Friendship is dangerous I must admit.  It's intoxicating, it is love. It is.  Just as dangerous and deep.  I think if I had been in the wrong house at the wrong time, I would have turned…  No one can understand that."

            Snape had never heard such rubbish of course.  That level of kindness should only be reserved for men like Dumbledore, not simpering werewolves scrying a pensieve. Why was he so damn sweet?

            "Oh give me a break. You? You're about as fearsome as a chipmunk."

            "Werewolves are creatures of Darkest Magic.  If I had not found the friends I did….  I don't fear any blood.  You would make a good werewolf.  I would have made a deadly and terrible Deatheater."

            "You're very dear Snape.  You'd do anything for this school.  And I know if there is an attack… you will protect it with your life."

            "How do you know that?"

            "You said so didn't you, when Sirius Black showed up last year." Remus smirked.

            "Oh." Snape was silenced. "I said so?"

            "Sometimes, I feel so deeply for you. You were seduced by friendship and love into your own doom."

            "What do you know of that?"

            Remus "Because I have friends that have betrayed me. Peter betrayed us efficiently, turning to Voldemort, betraying our secret, when he became the rat. James and Lily left me without a thought. And Sirius."
            Snape turned around.

            "For 12 years Sirius Black had betrayed me, he still betrays me.  First it was easy because I was right and he was in Azkaban.  He killed Lily and James. He killed Peter. but now… we are betrayed by fate."

            Remus looked with wise gold eyes down on the Pensieve, he placed it on the shelf. 

            "Snape I do suggest you stick to your own pensieve.  Mine is rather deep." Remus smiled.  "Thank you for the Wolfsbane."

            "Just don't break your wrist again."

            "Snape I suggest you work on your Patronus.  I have a niggling feeling in the back of my head."

Lesson 13:  Harry Potter is hardcore.

            "Okay just hold on the broom I'm not an expert."

            Auror Lukas had never even seen a magic broom before tonight.

            "This is cool."  Lukas was riding side handle in a few minutes.  Swooping and dipping on the broom.  "Hey Chief check this out."

            "Lukas chill out." Auror Grieves said.

            The young auror looked around "Yeah I was just testing it out."

            "You know if they taught broom craft up in the Conservatory... like they did at Hogwarts."  Fen muttered.

            "Yeah well I was kind of learning how to defeat evil."  Lukas said.

            Fen could ride fast, but most of the other Aurors were much swifter.  It would give him and Lukas a chance to talk to prepare to meet the Boy who lived.

            The two werewolves arrived at Hogwarts Castle.  The boy was surrounded by hit wizards.  This couldn't have been that serious.

            "Minister Fudge sent us down here to protect Mr. Potter from Sirius Black."

            "Auror Lukas."

            "Auror Grieves."  Grieves shook his hand.

            "Can I go now?" an exasperated thick accent floated out of the room

Harry Potter came to the door.

            "Well Mr. Potter we have some questions for you?"

            Harry was a skinny little kid, shaggy hair and green eyes.

            "Sorry I'm not feeling very talkative tonight."

            "We're here for your protection.  If Sirius Black."

            "You're chasing the wrong man.  He didn't do anything.  He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

            "You seem awful sure of that.  This guy tried to kill you." Lukas said.

            "You weren't even there.  And I don't have to incriminate myself." Potter was a hard nut.  Where had the kid gotten this much nerve?

            "He wouldn't hurt me.

            "No I don't believe it."

            "You-"

            "No.  If you really think about it makes no sense."

            "I-"     

            "Why would Sirius Black try to kill me?"  Harry Potter looked up at that.

            The Aurors paused for a second.

            "He wants vengeance. Anyone who lived through Azkaban might be slightly unstable.  He's probably gone insane."

            "Yet he's cogent enough to break out of there and develop an air tight alibi, to stalk me for a year and buy me a Firebolt 500.  Bloody unlikely.  That's unbelievable."

            "Look you are taking a big risk thinking this way."

            "Well then why do you need to talk to me?" Harry closed his mouth. "I'm not talking to anyone who wants to hurt him."

            "Harry you've got to help us.  We've got to catch Black."

            "I'm not helping you do anything to hurt Sirius."

            "Harry." Grieves tried to put on his most plaintive face.

            "Puppy dog eyes only work on adults. You're going to arrest him.  You're going to send him back to Azkaban or worse to the Dementor's kiss. I won't let you."

            "Why are you trying to defend the man who tried to kill you?"

            "It was Peter Pettigrew.  Peter Pettigrew was the Ministry Secret Keeper. Not Sirius Black.  He was only a Junior Auror. Sirius wouldn't turn to the dark, it never made any sense."

            "Well, it was a shock but lots of people turned."

            "Peter was an Iris.  He was passing information for months, he learned a lot then.  That's why he was such a good spy."

            Harry handed him a folder.

            "My friends and I have been working on it. Trying to build up our case."

            "Black was an Auror?

            "Why would he become an Auror just to get everyone, when the traitor wanted information?  Why wouldn't it be a messenger? An Iris."

            It sounded plausible.  A government informant who turned rather than a low level Auror.  Black was only an Auror Officer at the time of his arrest.

            "Hermione checked the records."

            "The only two leaks that could have been were my father and Peter.  They were the only people who even knew about the Fidelis charm.  But since my father is dead…"

            "Peter must have known before.  He would have caught wind of it." Grieves scrunched his brow.

            "What are you guys talking about?

            "We got faxed copies from Bagshot, computer files from the MOM public records.  This stuff is as much hard evidence as we could get.  All proving that Peter was an Iris, and that Black was an Auror.  It's almost enough to put to trial."

            "Hard evidence?" This kid was 14 and thinking clearer than an Auror.

            "Mr. Grieves, Mr. Lukas.  I want you to take it.  I can't do anything with it.  I can't prove anything.  I can't get Sirius a trial.  I'm just a dumb kid.  But you- You are important, you are Aurors.  You can get something done."

            "I'll tell you everything I know.  But you must promise to look at my evidence.  You've got to."

            "I can't do that.  My duty is to bring him in." Lukas said.

            Harry looked up at them "Please, I can't…"

            Fen looked down at the boy.  He took the file.

"But I can."

            "What?"

            "I'm retired after all.  An elder statesman now." Fenrir said.

            "Harry, are you sure this is real evidence?  This file could save or destroy Sirius Black?"

            "I have copies.  It's mostly records. Anyone could have compiled them with time."

            "I'll look at it Harry."

            Harry smiled, "Thank you." The boy shook his head, "All right.  Close the door."

            The scrawny little kid sat down on his bed

            "Yes.  Remus told me that he and Sirius, well they are mates, I mean mates, mates. Not, well, mates.

            "Like his boyfriend." Lukas cut him off "I get ya."

            "I was kind of surprised.  Okay, I kind of hyperventilated."

            Harry shook his head, "No, don't get me wrong. I mean, I love Remus. He's the coolest teacher I ever had.  He taught me how to stop Dementors.  I guess it was the thing that you know; Remus could be good for Sirius.  He needs someone.  I just never met any…"  Harry whispered the last two words, "gay people." Harry gave a bemused frown.

            Lukas rolled his eyes.  Where had this kid been raised? "I think they know they're gay." Lukas said.

            "My Uncle Vernon would say something nasty, but he doesn't like anybody, immigrants, single mothers, and magic folk. I guess that's part of it. That's really why it doesn't bother me.  Uncle Vernon doesn't even like me."

            Harry darted up.

            "I don't know.  I just don't think it's anybody's business.  If they are happy and aren't hurting anyone, and they are in love, I mean if you can be…If that makes me gay, well I guess I am a little."

            "What rubbish is that? That doesn't make you gay," Lukas said
            "Really?"  Harry asked hopefully.

            "I think you're mature." Lukas said.

            "I bet you think I'm weird now.  I know how muggles feel about it."

            "You don't know how every muggle thinks about it," Lukas said.

            "You can't hurt Sirius. He's the only person I have left in the world who knew my father.  He was going to adopt me.  He was."

"I don't know where Sirius is now.  That's all I can tell you.  Remus may.  I mean he saw Sirius before I did."

"You don't let a guy like that go back.  He'll die before he goes back to the Dementors."

            The

            "He could still be lying.  I can't believe that Hogwarts would do something like that."

            "Maybe we should call that Bumblebee guy…"

            "Dumbledore.  He should know. But I have to be sure.  I won't turn in fellow werewolf if he's on our side."

Lesson 11a:  The Aurors are not Hare Krishnas

            At the Catcher house over a nice dinner of cod stew Berney had just about had it here to his wife's suspicious accusations.

            "I'm telling you.  Where is he then?"

            "Darla.  The Dursley's are annoying sure.  They might let their crab grass get into our lawn.  Vernie's car alarm might go off at all hours I can tell you one thing with the utmost certainty.  They did not kill that boy."

            They had too.  I mean he lived their and they only have a two bedroom house just like ours.  So then he just vanishes."

            "He could go away at school."

            "They're hiding some secret.  I didn't even know the kids name.  Do you think they were running something with child pornography?"

            "You are a suspicious old woman Darla Catcher."

            "You said the dog took your beer."

            Before anything could be mentioned yet another interruption.

            A woman with dark hair in a bun was behind the door.

            "I need to look in your garage."

            "Sorry Ma'am. We're Christian.  We're not Hari Krishna or Hindu or…  No no no."

            "Darla they came all this way.  At least let them in.
            "If we're nice to them they'll just come back to try to let us join there cult."

            The woman looked down at her black and golden robe "Cult?"

            "Auror Black, mind your manners.  We have to be more polite then that."

            Mrs. Figg walked in.  A woman from down the way with too many cats and silly welsh accent. "Mrs. Catcher.  We just need to look in your garage real quickly?  Won't take but a second, poppet."

            "Mrs. Figg have you joined a cult." Darla asked.

            "Nope. We're looking for a fellow. Dirty, dark hair, blue eyes goes by the name of Sirius Black.  Like this one here."

            Polaris sniffed "I have no brother…" her voice was gravelly, flinty and filled with angst.

            "Sure we haven't forgotten that Black. Of course you don't have a brother.  I was just explained to Darla our situation."

            "But I-"Black was cut off.

            "Auror Black, go in and check the garage." Mrs. Figg said.

            The woman ran into their garage.

            "Hello Bosco."  Mrs. Figg kissed him on the nose.

            The dog looked green.

            "Hangover."  Berney said.  Serves him right."

            "What's wrong with you?" Mrs. Figg repeated.

            The dog barked slurred and began wagging his tail sloppily.

            "You're drunk." Mrs. Figg gasped.

            Arabella picked up the dog and smelled it.        

            "You gave your dog beer?" Mrs. Figg glared at Darla.

            "Bosco." Darla shrieked.  "What happened?"

            "He's but a wee creature.  You are animals you awful person."

            "I didn't give him any beer.  He stole it out of the fridge." Berney said.

            The Jacky rolled and vomited.

Arabella Figg pursed her lips. "You're off my Christmas card list Darla Catcher.  You can't treat a dog like that."

            "It's not Darla's fault.  See if I let you check my mail while we're in Greece this summer." Berney grumbled.

            "I never did it until the last day anyway!" Mrs. Figg admitted

            Finally the broad in the yellow robe came out of the garage.

            "He's not in here.  Have you seen Sirius Black?" Aura Black as her name was said.

            She held up a poster.

            "Yeah, I saw a bloke.  He was sleeping in my dog house.  Hair to his bottom.  Crazy looking cook.  He went to the air port. Just take Treacle Road down to Privet Drive and you'll come on the Expressway.  It's only ten minutes…"

            "Airport?"

            "I'm sure you can catch him."

            He actually left 5 hours ago and went west towards the train station.

            The weirdo cult members didn't even say goodbye they ran towards their green car in the street and jumped in like in one of them cops shows."

            "I didn't know he was serious about being chased."

            "Why'd ya do that Berney?  They'll just come back in a week and try to sell us magazines and flowers. You have to scare the dregs away."

            "I don't think they were in no cult."

            "Well why did you tell them anything?"

            "Well he gave me the money.  He didn't seem like a bad guy.  I wouldn't want those crazy culties to get him."

            "You know if we had an alarm system like the Dursley's we could turn it on fer the solicitors and whoever wants to break in our house."

            "Here we go again.  Always babbling about them…"

            The dog passed out.