STICKS AND CARROTS

Part One: Sensei

Chapter Three

                Ranma regarded Ku Lon suspiciously. "All right, old ghoul," she said. "Do your worst."

                Ku Lon raised an eyebrow at the tiny girl sitting cross-legged on the dojo floor, then bopped her solidly over the head.

                "Ow!" Ranma rubbed her head and glared daggers at Ku Lon. "Whad'ja do that for??"

                "Lesson one," Ku Lon lectured. "While I train you, I am to be addressed as Matriarch or Sensei."

                "What for?" Ranma muttered sullenly. She was none too pleased with this, and especially with Ku Lon. After all, the Amazon matriarch had gotten Ranma into a serious mess, and Ranma was in no mood to bow and scrape to her.

                "To ensure that you are in the properly receptive state of mind," Ku Lon replied, although in all reality she didn't think the lesson would work that way. Ranma was too chaotic for the classic dojo-lessons to really capture his (her?) attention; they were too repetitive, too simplistic.

                Ranma was, to be succinct, Ku Lon's favorite kind of student.

                "NOW!" Ku Lon snapped suddenly with all the force of a drill sergeant, and had the satisfaction of seeing her temporary student jump with surprise. "I will not remove the Full-Body Cat's Tongue," she said bluntly, satisfied that she had Ranma's full attention.

                "Why not? It would fix the whole stupid mess," the girl-who-was-really-a-boy grumbled.

                Ku Lon looked sternly at her. "I will not because to give you such a simple solution would defeat the purpose of the lesson. I gave you that particular point for a reason, and that was to learn how to best use both of your bodies to deal with adversity. You dislike your female body, and so you avoid it. HOWEVER," she said sharply, overriding the girl/boy as she opened her mouth, "the time will come when you must fight, perhaps in a serious confrontation, and there will be no hot water available to you."

                To her surprise, Ranma still looked sullen and rebellious – but she/he didn't loudly and violently argue the point. Doubtless at some point in Ranma's long journey back to Japan from Jusenkyou she/he had encountered that particular circumstance, and the memory apparently was not pleasant. So instead of exploding in fury, she (Ku Lon decided to simply go with the pronoun applicable to the current body, to save herself a headache) muttered, "The first sign of girly stuff, I'm outta here…"

                Ku Lon laughed. "Take me with you when you go, if by 'girly stuff' you mean dresses and cute little bows and such," she said.

                Ranma blinked at her. "Eh?" she spluttered.

                "Ranma, I am an Amazon. Our women are our primary warriors, and they must be prepared to fight at all times. Do you understand what that means?" She looked at Ranma, who simply stared back. "Answer, teishi! It was not a rhetorical question."

                Ranma looked at her in surprise. Apparently she was accustomed to having the answer pounded into her if she gave the wrong answer. Ku Lon simply waited, however. She needed to accustom Ranma to engaging her/his (ARGH! Gender-bending curses were a pain!) intellect in areas outside of combat. Once the beginning steps were established, she hoped that Ranma would continue them on her own, and the crippling effects of Genma's stupidity would begin to unravel.

                "Ummm… That you don't wear girly stuff because it'll get in the way?" she said tentatively.

                "Oh, we'll wear it. We just wear varieties that do not interfere with our fighting. That means no frills, no bows, and no poofy skirts." The relief on Ranma's face was almost painful. Feeling absurdly like she was letting Ranma down somehow, Ku Lon said, "There may come a time when you may need to learn how to handle feminine clothing, but not now. For now, the main concern is that you must adapt yourself to your female form. There are several differences that you must adapt to…"

                "I already know 'bout the change in weight," Ranma said offhandedly, "an' the way my legs move different. An' my arm's 'n' legs are shorter. Tripped me up f'r a bit, too, at first."

                "Good. Then you have a place to start." Ku Lon smiled. "But what about your breasts?"

                Ranma blinked for a moment, then turned brilliant scarlet and crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "What about 'em?!"

                "I'm sure you've had some discomforts regarding them."

                Ranma glowered. "Like what?!" she demanded crossly.

                "I'm sure you already have noticed how much they bounce," Ku Lon said dryly. "Especially considering how much jumping is a part of your Art." Ignoring Ranma's blush (which had, if possible, gotten brighter), she added, "They're unusually large for your frame, also. If you don't start adapting your clothing to adjust, they will both bounce painfully and they will cause back problems, as well."

                To her surprise, Ranma's blush vanished, replaced by a nearly translucent white of anger. "I will not wear a bra! I am not a GIRL!"

                Ku Lon blinked. 'That was… unexpected. There may be more of a problem here than simple gender identity after all… I'm going to need to tread carefully.' "And what is so harmful about wearing clothing appropriate to your body? You are female physically. There is no shame in dressing in a manner suited to your body."

                Ranma said nothing, simply glowering at Ku Lon. Checking the pseudo-girl's aura, Ku Lon realized she was treading on extremely thin ice. Something had caused Ranma to think that dressing 'femininely' in any way was indeed shameful; taking this tack of argument was simply causing Ranma to close down even more. If Ku Lon pursued this angle, Ranma would stop listening to her. So instead, she backtracked a bit.

                "They are going to get in the way of your fighting, child. Surely you have noticed this?" After a long, tense pause Ranma nodded, and Ku Lon asked, "Have you ever tried to bind them in some way, to prevent this?"

                "Yeah," Ranma mumbled at length, "once."

                "And?" Ku Lon arched a brow.

                "I turned back to a guy a little later." Her expression was sour.

                'Now what… oh. Of course. The male form has a larger build; anything that could hold that bust comfortably in the female form will be strangling in the male. Poor child. Being a boy is important to him… and wearing things that fit the female form, given the size difference, is like being locked in female form. He wouldn't be able to shift back to male until he changes clothes.' Outer clothes were not so much of a problem – she had plainly already found a style that suited both bodies – but underclothes, especially female-specific ones, were not so flexible.

                There might be a way to fix that problem, but now was not the time. On one hand, Ranma was already stuck in female form, thus having nothing to lose – but adding the topic of feminine clothes was adding insult to injury.

                Besides, at the moment there were other subjects to pursue that were less problematic. "Tell me then, child – what else is different about this body? What are its advantages?"

                Ranma gave her a skeptical look; Ku Lon returned a severe one. Sighing, the girl settled back in thought. "I'm faster," she said, "and smaller. And it's deceptive."

                "Deceptive?" Ku Lon asked, though her own thoughts earlier regarding the girl-body's petite size returned to her. But Ranma just smiled slightly and shook her head. Ku Lon felt a little chill of mingled apprehension and anticipation. Ranma could have anything up her sleeve; the child's strength was her adaptability and unpredictability.

                Ku Lon smiled mysteriously and prepped herself. "Ah… but can you fight?"

                Ranma sprang to her feet. "Try me, old ghoul!"

                Whack. "What did I say about addressing me, student?" Ku Lon chided.

                To her surprise, Ranma's eyes didn't even cross from the blow. While it had been nowhere near the strongest Ku Lon could bring to bear, still she had put enough force into it that it should have disoriented Ranma for a moment or two. Instead, the girl grinned. "Hah? Didja say something, ghoul?"

                Ku Lon retaliated once again – but this time something warned her that a straightforward bop to the head would not be the wisest course. So instead, she pogoed right over Ranma's head and delivered a smack to the girl's cute little tush before darting out of range again. "Tut tut, such manners."

                Ranma's mouth firmed and Ku Lon smiled. Now things were getting a little more serious. "Respect's gotta be earned, old bag," she said shortly.

                Ku Lon started forward – but Ranma was already in motion, and Ku Lon found herself forced to dodge a flurry of blows. Although she managed to land a light smack on the girl's head, it was close. She landed at a distance again, feeling a thrill, and feeling a little foolish. She had let herself fall into the most basic preliminary of Ranma's style: make your opponent make the first move. She had paid the price in effort. Ranma hadn't landed a blow, and Ku Lon was keeping herself down to Ranma's level – but the simple fact that she was forcing Ku Lon to adjust that apparent level upwards spoke well for Ranma.

                "Well done, student," Ku Lon said. "But… can you handle this?"

                With those words, she sprang forward again, this time releasing a portion of her speed. Ranma did well, but was outmatched, and the girl was sent flying into the wall. Ku Lon left her to pull herself up, waiting to see what the response would be.

                Suddenly, the matriarch found herself the target of sparkling crystal-blue eyes and a tiny bundle of childish enthusiasm. "Ooooooh, that's so neat, do you think you could do it again? You're so coooooool!"

                Ku Lon blinked in shock – and was almost taken down by a fierce flurry of blows completely out of character with that hyperactive squeal of glee. Bouncing back, she began to laugh at the sheer ingenuity. "Kawaii-fu, student?"

                "Heh." The uber-kawaii façade dropped as the girl smirked. "Anything Goes."

                Ku Lon sprang forward and began an extended exchange of blows. "Of course," she said conversationally, "that little trick is limited in its effectiveness. Anyone who knows you will not be fooled by it."

                "Oh?" Ranma was being driven backwards slowly, but she aptly blocked each blow. "You knew better, and you still fell for it."

                Ku Lon blinked in surprise, and Ranma took advantage of the split moment of surprise to steal the offensive. She did not land any blows, but the fact that she still managed to steal the initiative was impressive. "True. And tell me – do you know why that was the case?"

                "It wasn't me," Ranma answered absently. Sweat was beginning to bead on her forehead. "That's all; it jus' wasn't what fit wha' y' thought o' me."

                "Very accurate, teishi. Watch your defenses." That comment was accompanied by a painful rap against Ranma's side. That particular hole immediately vanished, but to Ku Lon's pleasure the disappearance was not accompanied by a cascade of new holes – this student did not make the mistake of concentrating solely on correcting an error.

                The spar intensified rapidly, as Ku Lon pushed the child's skills to her limits and beyond. Ranma did not only match Ku Lon's blows, she absorbed them. Before long, Ku Lon found herself the target of several of her own moves. Expecting them, she used Ranma's execution as an object lesson in their weaknesses. The spar/lesson progressed that way; she would tag Ranma with a combination and Ranma would emulate it at a later point, giving Ku Lon the opportunity to demonstrate the weakness of the technique with smart raps. The next time Ku Lon used that combination, Ranma would attempt to employ those weaknesses, and Ku Lon would demonstrate the defenses.

                Eventually, Ranma was sprawled swirly-eyed and panting on the floor, scuffed and bruised… and, oddly, grinning like a little kid in a toy store with a blank check. When some sense returned to her eyes, Ku Lon made her assume a basic lotus position.

                And then they did something that had never, ever been part of Ranma's training with her father for as long as the child could remember.

                They talked.

                "I don't get it," Ranma muttered to herself.

                "What, teishi?" Ku Lon asked, thinking that the girl was referring to the sparring session.

                Her assumption was wrong. "Why th' heck was Akane so mad at me this evenin'? What th' heck did I do t' her?"

                "I can't imagine why she'd feel that way," Ku Lon said dryly. "After all, she's only being used as the prize in a competition where she has very little connection."

                "Exactly!" Ranma said. "Wha's she so mad about? I mean, I didn't make such a fuss when she used me as a prize."

                Ku Lon blinked. "Excuse me? What exactly are you referring to?"

                "Ah, jus' somethin' tha' happened a bit before Shampoo arrived th' first time. Some crazy girl – Kuno Kodachi – was competin' against Akane in a Martial Rhythmic gymnastics match. A bit b'fore th' match, she wagered against Akane wi' me goin' t' the victor."

                Ku Lon considered this new information. "The situation is not exactly the same. In that case, I believe the suggestion came from an outside source?"

                Ranma gave her a sardonic look. "'Scuse me, but it wasn't me who went an' dragged Akane inta this."

                "True… but neither did you object."

                "Hey, what was I s'posed t' do?" the girl demanded hotly. "I couldn't jus' let him insult me like that!"

                'Of course – the stupid training-potty attack. Once Mu Tzu pulled that out, it became a matter of offended honor for Ranma.' Ku Lon knew that Ranma's honor was very important to the girl (boy) – perhaps even more now than before she received her curse. Ranma was naturally proud; combined with her station as the heir of her family's martial style, no offense of honor could be shrugged away.

                "Besides, Akane certainly never objected to bettin' me," Ranma said with a sour look on her face.

                "Have you tried talking to her about this?" Ku Lon asked. "Possibly she does not consider this to be a similar situation – or she simply hasn't realized the connections."

                Ranma blinked. "Isn't it kinda obvious?"

                Ku Lon shook her head. "It has been my resigned experience that most people view a situation differently when they are not the one directly affected. Akane is upset because she is standing in the prize's position this time and quite dislikes the experience. I suggest that you do discuss this matter with her and present your point of view."

                Ranma sighed and blew a lock of hair out of her face. "What's th' point? We always seem t' end up fightin'. I don't get it."

                Ku Lon shook her head. She had a hunch; Ranma only knew fighting in her life, after all. A fight, however unpleasant, was at least familiar territory. "Consider it part of your training, then, if that will help."

                "Eh?" Ranma blinked at her again. "How's talkin' t' Akane count as trainin'?"

                "I will explain when you return. Just one suggestion – focus, and don't allow yourself to be sidetracked with accusations. State facts, and leave opinions out of it. Now scoot."

                Ranma hesitated outside Akane's door and scratched the back of her neck. 'Oh man, what am I su'posed t' do now?'

                The cute little duck with Akane written on it, if it had any advice to impart, was holding its peace.

                Ranma straightened her shoulders. 'Aw, hell, what's th' worst she can do, huh? Hit me again?' Ignoring the little mini-Ranma that cowered slightly and eeped at the thought, she raised her hand and knocked. 'All I gotta do is tell her what the ghoul said…'

                "Who is it?" Akane asked.

                "Ummm… jus' me. Ranma," she corrected, realizing how dumb 'it's me' sounded as a response to the question.

                There was a moment of silence, then Akane asked, "Oh. What do you want? Don't you have some training with that delightful little old Amazon grandmother to do?"

                If Ranma had been a little more experienced dealing with people, she would have been able to correctly define Akane's tone as 'sulky'. As it was, all she knew was that the tension level seemed to have risen a couple points when she identified herself. "Ummm… well, this is kinda part of that…"

                "What?" Akane asked, a little clearer now as though she were becoming curious in spite of herself. "What do I have to do with your training?"

                Even Ranma could pick up on the slightly resentful tone of Akane's voice, although she didn't have the first idea why Akane would be feeling that way. "Ummm… I'm not sure, actually. Bu' she said it was kinda important…"

                There was another long pause, then she heard Akane's purposeful walk over to the door, and it opened.

                Akane studied the girl-at-the-moment with slight suspicion. After several moments passed, she finally demanded, "Well?"

                "Ummm…" Ranma fidgeted nervously, suddenly aware that she didn't have the slightest idea what she was supposed to be doing. "How come you're mad at me?" she finally asked, feeling a cold sweat trickle down her back.

                Akane's expression darkened, and the nervous sweat got a little worse. "Well, I wonder," she said icily. "What possible reason could I have for being angry? Hmmm. Let me see. Maybe it has something to do with being bartered around as a prize by some baka in a fight I HAVE NO CONNECTION TO????"

                Ranma was currently fighting two instincts. One was urging her to run like hell and perhaps have a chance of surviving this encounter; the other was saying that the best defense was a good offense. Normally, it was the second, with the backing of not-insubstantial pride and years of conditioning, which won the battle.

                However, there was a third, tiny voice, too quiet and shy normally to emerge until one of the other two, or both together, had destroyed the window of opportunity. This third little voice had recently received an unexpected bolstering, and that little added strength gave it a chance to come to the forefront, for once in Ranma's life. "But what makes this so dif'rent from when Kodachi made her bet with ya?"

                Akane blinked at him, anger momentarily derailed by confusion. "What?"

                Ranma looked down and scuffed the floor with her foot. "Well… um… didn' you 'n' Kodachi set me up as stakes in yer Rhythmic Gymnastics competition?"

                Akane stared at her for a minute. Then the thought seemed to connect and she spluttered, "Th… that was different!"

                "It was? How?" Ranma asked. That timid little voice had grown stronger when she was not immediately punished for following its lead. "Seems th' same t' me…"

                Akane's mouth opened and closed several times before she seemed to construct a reply. "I'd given a promise! My honor and the honor of my school was at stake! I couldn't just call it off!"

                Ranma gave her an incredulous look. "Y' saw that stupid attack Mousse pulled on me an' you're sayin' that my honor isn't at stake wi' a straight face?"

                Akane seemed to be finding her focus again – or at least, she seemed to be getting angry rather than flummoxed again. Ranma did not think this was a positive development. "Well you certainly didn't object when Mousse named me as the prize!"

                "An' no one made ya take Kodachi up on her bet…" Ranma said tentatively, trying to figure out what was going on. This entire confrontation had all the edginess and tension of a regular fight, but it was progressing completely contrary to what she was used to. Except for the one baka in the beginning, not a single insult had been thrown, and Akane hadn't yet tried to slap her or anything.

                Akane glowered slightly and Ranma realized that she'd made a mistake again. "I couldn't just call it off or say no! I'd be implying that I didn't have faith in my own training and abilities!"

                "But… isn't it th' same thing for me?" Ranma said, now completely lost. Was she being held to a different standard or something? If she was, would somebody explain it to her? "'sides, I'm th' challenger here. Mousse has th' right t' name the time, style 'n' stakes, that's th' way a challenge works, right?"

                Akane seemed to be struggling again. "Let's get one thing straight!" she snapped at last. "I was not fighting Kodachi for you, got that??"

                "I know," Ranma said simply, wondering why they were repeating the conversation they'd had in the dojo after Kodachi had made her little wager. Hadn't they already established this? "An' I'm not fightin' Mousse f'r you."

                Akane's face darkened a bit and one of her hands was twitching. Ranma braced herself. Akane broadcast her moves loud and clear, but then again Ranma had always been taught that when a girl tried to hit you outside of combat or sparring, it was supposed to teach you something and you weren't supposed to hit back or dodge or they'd just get angrier. It didn't make any sense to him, but then again most things didn't. Certainly no one seemed to expect him to dodge the slaps, so he didn't.

                He was also confused. This bore a lot of resemblances to Akane's reaction to his behavior under the N-Neko-ken… but like then, he simply couldn't figure out what exactly Akane was mad about. Was she mad that he was fighting over her… or was she mad that he wasn't?

                Why did people have to be so confusing??

                Finally, Akane let out a frustrated sound and slammed the door closed. Ranma blinked at the wood grain for a minute, trying to figure out what had happened. Should she go and talk to Akane again? That would almost assuredly result in something being thrown at her, but then again…

                Finally Ranma turned and walked back to the dojo. Cologne had suggested that little 'training exercise', maybe the old ghoul could explain the results.

                Ku Lon hid a smile as Ranma told her what had happened. This was a second test; she had in fact listened in on the entire encounter, but she wanted Ranma to repeat it. Which the girl did – word for word, almost, proving true Ku Lon's personal theory that Ranma's memory was much better than Ranma let on, or perhaps was even aware of. As for the primary test…

                "You did quite well on that exercise, child. Better than I honestly thought you would. You did not have a clean victory, which is to be expected given your inexperience, but you did have a victory. What is more, coming down here rather than follow Akane after she retreated showed good judgment."

                "After she retreated?" Ranma blinked. "Whaddaya mean?"

                Ku Lon chuckled. "Your little confrontation was a mini-challenge, if you like. The point of the challenge was to get Akane to accept your point of view. When she chose to close the door rather than reply, she essentially retreated, which gives you a temporary victory. When she chooses to respond in a manner other than answering a question or offering a different argument, she is indirectly admitting that you are correct and that she does not have an adequate response. The fact that she chose retreat rather than insults or blows means that you prevented her from viewing your arguments as an attack on her." 'A very simplified explanation, but I am not the one to explain the intricacies of interpersonal interactions. Not yet, at any rate.'

                Ranma looked uneasy. "Wow. People think of just talkin' like that?"

                Ku Lon laughed again. "Not really, but this explanation is best suited to your experience. Most people don't really think about talking, but the results are essentially the same."

                Ranma looked like she was getting a headache, and Ku Lon decided that she'd done enough with this for now. The seed had been planted, now it simply needed time to grow.

                "Now…" she said with a grin, prepping herself for another entertaining sparring session, "allow me to demonstrate a few tricks of Mu Tzu's…"

(A.N. Okay. Many apologies for the long delay in getting this out, but my dear friend marsfiremm has been a little… um… pushy about the LotR fanfic Journey through Shadows that I'm helping her write. (And posting under my name… oh, the shame.) Plus, honestly, I was a little short on ideas regarding how Ku Lon was going to handle this whole encounter, and the kinda lackluster response during my last update wasn't particularly encouraging me to blow a gasket writing this chapter. Not to mention school was being a pain, but that isn't going to change anytime soon anyway.

                Just a side note – I give many thanks and also credit to TheGrum (http://grum.anifics.com/) for some of the seed ideas for how Ku Lon's going to handle herself and some of the lessons that she will offer Ranma. Similar credit goes to Kenko (http://www.knology.net/~kenjiko2/, can also be found here on FF.net) for Ku Lon and for the sheer comic relief provided by his most excellent fanfic Girl Days.

                For the future… don't hold your breath waiting for the next part to come out. I can assure you that the fight with Mu Tzu is going to be different than the manga… when I get to it.

                As for the conversation with Akane – in the manga, she's actually quite nice, and I try to give her due credit. She does have a problem with her temper and she does have a habit of mis-interpreting events. Regarding the connection with the Kodachi incident… well, it was a random thought that made a lot of sense to me. Ranma's taking his cues from Akane at the moment, and Akane did not seem at all upset about using Ranma as a bet.

                I still have no idea what kind of match-up will occur in this fic – or even if there will be a match-up at all. To the people who complained that Akane isn't spoiled… well, my interpretation is that she is a little spoiled – and Ku Lon is not exactly an unbiased observer. Yes, she helped them in this chapter – but the focus was helping Ranma mature. As for underlying plot… well, I have a confession. I'm taking my cues from the manga at the moment, and there doesn't really seem to be one outside character interactions, so that's what I'm focusing on.

                Heh. I'll stop rambling now. Gomen nasai. Please review – the more encouragement I get in writing this, the more likely the chances are that I will continue.)