STICKS AND CARROTS
Part One: Sensei
Chapter Five
Ku Lon worked the cash register with a feeling of growing contentment. The Nekohanten was proving to be a profitable venture on its own merit – profitable enough that she was beginning to regret sending Mu Tzu away and thereby depriving herself of the extra pair of hands. The attractions of a very cute waitress, a hint of the exotic in the décor and (as word from early customers began to spread) very good food were bringing in patrons by the drove. Sometimes they would even stay for a second dish, just in order to enjoy the show. Occasionally even Ku Lon had to assist in delivering orders – and what she lacked in the physical cuteness department she made up for in ingenuity and style. The gasps of amazement as the ramen and bowls and side dishes fell in separate arcs to land together before the customer in perfect arrangement were very flattering.
Mu Tzu had been shipped home after completing his tasks. Ku Lon suspected that he would return, though – she vaguely remembered catching glimpses of him in the Crystal. Unfortunately the Crystal was a capricious and contrary artifact, and had only given her some disjointed images. The farther into the future one went, the more vague the visions would become; the very act of looking had ramifications which influenced the Crystal's oracular abilities. In the end, Ku Lon knew nothing more about what would happen than the bug-eyed student currently paying for a beef ramen. What she did have were vague directions that might or might not be accurate.
Oh well. Knowing the future perfectly would take the fun out of living, anyway.
Regardless, she hoped that, if and when the boy did return, he would at the least be more tolerant of Ranma and his mistakes. She did not want Ranma to associate her with someone inclined to attack for no apparent reason.
Ku Lon glanced up at the clock. Good; school would be closing for the day soon. "Xian Pu!" she called, hopping back into the kitchen and letting one of the temporary helpers handle the orders for a moment.
"Yes, Great-Grandmother?" Xian Pu followed her.
Ku Lon showed her a small case strung on a chain; the label read clearly 'Phoenix Pill'. "This just arrived today," she said with a smile.
"Phoenix? Symbol of fire? Great-Grandmother, what that for? Why make pill from make-believe symbol?"
"Heat-resistance, child." Ku Lon looked at her, waiting for Xian Pu to make the connection.
"Heat-resistance? Why… Oh!" Xian Pu smiled sunnily. "Is gift to Airen, no? Xian Pu give to him!"
The girl reached for it, but Ku Lon withheld the case. "Not a gift, Xian Pu. If I wished to simply give him freedom from the Cat's Tongue point, I would simply reverse the shiatsu, and I have already made it clear that doing so is not part of my plans."
Xian Pu scowled prettily. She had been very unhappy when Ku Lon had announced that decision. Female-Ranma was pretty and vibrant, but Xian Pu wanted that lean, handsome boy back to ogle and glomp. Xian Pu was not particularly comfortable with clinging to another girl, even if only in body, that way.
What she didn't know was that Ku Lon was in fact trying to discourage glomps. Ranma was much more likely to become comfortable around the Amazons if he did not have to constantly be guarding his virtue. Besides, having Ranma be constantly on guard against Xian Pu meant that he would also be perpetually distracted from training, and that wouldn't do at all.
"No, Xian Pu," Ku Lon said, "I want Ranma to earn this pill himself. Please go and tell him that if he is willing to negotiate, I will be here."
"Xian Pu can see Airen now? Is too too good!" The girl vanished, leaving a smoking track in her wake.
Ku Lon smiled, then hopped back out to the cash register. It would not do to be cheated, after all. After a few moments, though, she blinked as a thought that had been teasing the back of her mind finally coalesced. 'Hmmm… Does Xian Pu know about the Neko-ken? I don't think she does… this could be a problem. If she hasn't realized the effect her cursed form has on him, she could scare him very badly.' Ku Lon briefly considered going after Xian Pu and telling her, but the girl was probably already at the high school anyway. Besides, what were the chances of the girl getting doused with cold water in the short distance between the Nekohanten and the high school on a clear, beautiful sunny day like today, anyway?
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Ku Lon winced. 'Over two hundred years old, and I still haven't learned: never tempt Murphy's Law.'
Ranma kicked the door of the Nekohanten open and strode straight for Ku Lon, who was still at the cash register. Every inch of the girl's body was almost audibly humming with righteous determination. "What's this about a cure for your stupid Cat's Tongue?"
Ku Lon looked up and smiled. "Ah! Hello, child. I see Xian Pu found you."
"In the middle'a th' freakin' swimming pool," Ranma groused.
Ku Lon smacked herself lightly on the forehead. "Well, she can be a little enthusiastic," the Matriarch said.
"Ya haven't answered my question yet! What's this about a cure?" Even as she spoke, Ranma's eyes locked on the case which Ku Lon was now wearing around her neck on a chain like a pendant. Her hands twitched, but to Ku Lon's surprise and satisfaction, the girl did not immediately lunge to grab it. Apparently Ranma respected her as an opponent, at least, enough to know that the quick and easy method would not be effective.
Ku Lon pretended to think deeply. "Nothing's free, child," she reminded Ranma.
"Hmph. Nothin' but trouble, y'mean. Trouble don't mind bein' spread fer free."
Ku Lon chuckled. "Very true. However, the Phoenix Pill is very difficult to make, and it has so many uses… what makes you think I would just give it to you?"
"Well, whaddaya want, then?" Ranma asked warily.
Ku Lon rang up another order. "If you want it… you have to earn it. Prove to me you're good enough to get it yourself."
Ranma arched an eyebrow, her eyes now locked on Ku Lon's face. Then one of her hands darted for the case. The move was sudden, quick and perfectly executed; if Ku Lon had not known it was coming – in fact, been goading Ranma into making the snatch – the girl-boy might even have pulled it off. Someone had clearly drilled several tricks of thievery into Ranma at some point. Not surprising; many of those same tricks were also useful in martial arts, especially in the Anything Goes style.
As it was, though, the Amazon Matriarch easily countered the grab, flipped her staff up, and with a perfect blend of force re-direction, leverage and precision, sent Ranma flying back through the door and out into the street, tailed by a gentle chiding of, "Mind your manners."
"Ranma!" she heard a girl exclaim in concern – Tendou Akane again, perhaps? But Ranma was fine. In fact, the petite girl came blazing back in, primed for a fight.
Well, Ku Lon certainly appreciated the sparring but, she reflected, it certainly wouldn't do to wreck the restaurant on the third day it was open for business. So she met Ranma at the entrance this time. They exchanged a blur of blows that ended with Ranma once again flying out.
The scuffle hadn't gone unnoticed by the crowd, but interestingly none of them seemed particularly disturbed.
"Wow, that old granny really knows her stuff."
"What's the chick so steamed about, anyway?"
"Who cares? She's hot!"
"Bite your tongue."
"Oh, like you weren't drooling yourself."
"I meant it, I go to school with her. She's really a guy."
"Yeah, yeah, pull the other one."
"I'm serious!"
Outside, Xian Pu was also talking. "Why try, Airen? You no can beat Great-Grandmother."
"Hey!" There was a sound of ripping paper, and Ku Lon smiled. Ah, just as she'd hoped.
Ranma came inside again, but this time she stopped at the door and grinned, holding the 'Help Wanted' notice. "Hey, ghoul…"
Ku Lon lightly bonked her on the head. "Manners."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You lookin' fer a waitress…?"
If Ku Lon had thought the Nekohanten was packed before, now it was worse than a can of sardines or a unch of small children at a candy sale. Rumors of the cute new waitress had spread like wildfire, especially among the male high-school population. And even though most of the boys knew it was Ranma (who had been forced to fess up to his curse when he'd arrived at school)… well, he was a girl right now, so it was okay, right? It wasn't like they were trying to date Ranma or anything. (Ku Lon heard several comments to the effect of "don't want to end up like that Mikado twerp" that presumably referred to some opponent Ranma had encountered before.)
Hormones were hormones, after all, whether or not the object of the lust was a legitimate target.
As for the rest, they were drawn in by the floor show. Amazon training and Anything Goes had two things in common: they were devastatingly effective when done correctly, and they involved making everything into training.
"Teishi! Take this ramen!" Ku Lon placed a bowl on the kitchen counter.
"Hai!" Ranma chirped – yes, chirped.
'That boy may hate being a girl, but he makes a very convincing she when necessity strikes.' It helped that Ranma had been gifted with another one of Xian Pu's pantsuits. Originally they were going to give her the pale violet outfit with the bell pattern, but after Ranma's strident objections and a careful mental recalculation, Ku Lon had agreed. The outfit was simply too cutesy. So now Ranma wore an outfit of scarlet, embroidered with golden and black phoenixes with some blue here and there for variety. The colors were striking, but the cut of the outfit, handily retailored to fit Ranma, kept it looking cute, rather than sexy (and the apron helped, too). Ku Lon was rather grateful for that small favor. She didn't need her waitress maiming her customers, after all. Cuteness implied a level of innocence which protected her waitresses from most undisciplined hormonal boys.
Ranma put down the orders and jumped over to the tables, flipping somersaults in midair before coming down to a light landing next to the counter, to the delight of the audience. She reached for the ramen dish.
The next few seconds were basically invisible to the audience. Ranma tried to snake a hand to the Pill as she lifted the ramen. Ku Lon blocked the attempt and countered; Ranma released the bowl to defend. The bowl never got a chance to drop back to the counter.
"Wow, check it out!"
"That bowl's floating!"
Floating? Not exactly. Just held aloft by a flurry of blows too fast for even most trained eyes to see.
"Five more piping-hot ramen!" a cook said with a grin. The assistance staff enjoyed the floor show easily as much as the customers. Maybe even more so, because they helped orchestrate them.
And for Ranma's efforts, she ended up carrying six bowls of ramen: two per arm, one on her head, and one balanced on a pair of chopsticks sticking out from between her clenched teeth. To Ranma's credit, she handled the situation with style. Whenever she reached one of the tables she carried an order for she would toss all of them up, get the first one put in the appropriate place and maneuver herself to catch the remainder – all without spilling a drop.
The applause was most gratifying.
Xian Pu pouted. Ranma was getting all the attention and all the hard challenges. Granted, she herself wasn't up to the toss-em-and-serve-em trick yet, but she would have liked to get some of the fun, too…
"Xian Pu!"
The Amazon girl yelped and dove for the order that was flying through the air.
Let it be a lesson: Murphy's law will always find some way to get you.
"Customers too too nice, but Nekohanten closing now! Come back tomorrow!"
While Xian Pu was shooing the last lingerers from the restaurant, Ku Lon dismissed the cooks for the evening and Ranma hurried about cleaning up. There had been one or two little spills when the waitresses had gotten a little ambitious with their stunts, but nothing serious. But customers were not so careful, especially when distracted by the ongoing entertainment, and Ku Lon suspected that at least a few of the worst spills had been intentional, as attempts to bait the girls into coming within glomping range.
Ranma was a flurry of activity, wielding broom, mop and bucket as though every single spill and speck was a personal offense. Ku Lon hid a smile; if Ranma kept up her rate of activity, then it might not be long before scraps and spills wouldn't even touch the floor for fear of inciting the martial artist's wrath. And when Xian Pu joined the fray?
All those little bits of stain and spill went bai-bai almost faster than one could blink.
When the restaurant was all closed up and clean, Ranma put her cleaning rags away with a gusty sigh of relief. "Finally!" she grumbled, rubbing her stomach. "I can't wait t' get back t' the Tendou's, I'm starvin'!"
Ku Lon smiled with a touch of sympathy. She'd heard Ranma's stomach pleading softly for food for the past hour, and Xian Pu wasn't that far behind either. In Ku Lon's opinion, there was no greater test of discipline (or cruelty, if you looked at it from another angle) than being hungry and forced to carry plates of excellent food filling your nose with their wonderful, tempting aromas while knowing that you couldn't even touch them. Especially when you were an extremely active and growing teenager.
Well, she had a cure for that.
"Stay and eat with us, teishi," Ku Lon said, opening the door which led to the living areas of the restaurant. Xian Pu hurried through and rushed to the small table adorned only with three large bowls of steaming ramen. "I know better than to make my waitresses work such long hours without offering rewards."
Ranma licked her lips unconsciously, wavering. Ku Lon could almost hear the mental calculations being made. 'Staying here = confirmed large quantity of good food + a chance to rest + possible opportunities to get the Phoenix pill, – Akane will be very angry that she hasn't come home and – Xian Pu might try to seduce her. Go home = potential good food + no question of innocence – might annoy Sensei – might miss a chance at Pill – might miss a chance at training – her father may have eaten her portion of food already.' Ku Lon decided that it wouldn't hurt to tip the scales in her favor a little more. "I have something I want to show you which might assist in your training."
That did it; the 'staying here' equation got opportunity for more training added to the positive side. "Okay," Ranma said with a little smile. "Ummm… thanks."
All three were quite hungry, and the effort of resisting the temptation of all that wonderful food passing under their noses made this little repast even more delicious. They ate quickly and in silence. Ku Lon had put a little extra effort into the meal, paying careful attention to which dishes Ranma had seemed the most interested in. The little semi-bribery paid off; although she periodically had to order Ranma to slow down (the girl seemed to be expecting someone to swoop down and try to carry her well-earned reward away, and given the panda-man's girth Ku Lon had a pretty good idea who), the Japanese martial artist began to relax slightly. It helped that Xian Pu still couldn't quite get the nerve to drape herself all over another girl.
Ku Lon kept a careful eye on Ranma's bowl. When there was not much left but broth, the Matriarch commented, "By the way, I've been thinking about a dessert recipe recently that I'd like to test. If it's good enough then we'll add it to the menu, but I need to make a judgment first."
And eager light came into Xian Pu's eyes. "/A treat, Great-Grandmother? Really?\" The girl blushed as Ku Lon gave her a look and repeated her statement in Japanese, adding, "That would be too too nice! Thank you!"
Ku Lon chortled. "Don't thank me until after you've helped me in preparing it." She paused just long enough for Ranma to begin eating again (the girl had frozen for a moment at the mention of dessert) and added, "If you would stay, teishi, I would like your opinion of the recipe as well. And I have something else that I would like you to look at."
Ranma might be a disciplined warrior, but she was still a child. Sweets and treats were excellent bribes. "Sure! Whatcha got?"
Ku Lon got up. "Xian Pu, the dishes, if you would," she said, before hopping up the stairs on her staff.
In her room, she paused just long enough to pull one of her recipe books off the shelf and flip through several pages with bits of string or scraps of paper serving as bookmarks. Most of them marked recipes she'd always wanted to take a crack at but had never had the supplies or a large enough number of people to feed to make them worthwhile. This restaurant might finally give her a chance to indulge a little.
After picking the recipe (chien doi, which were essentially Chinese doughnuts, although this recipe had several pleasant surprises added), Ku Lon grabbed a book that lay innocently on her futon, surrounded by the shreds of shipping paper. Getting this Japanese translation of the book had been hard, and she was simply glad that she'd made the order basically the day that Xian Pu left to pursue Ranma for the second time. Ku Lon made a mental note to start teaching the boy Chinese, and to start investigating Japanese manuals.
The matriarch descended the stairs quickly, although she avoided the appearance of hurrying. She found Ranma carefully avoiding the kitchen, where Xian Pu was washing the dishes. Ku Lon considered it to be a wise precaution, both to avoid being splashed by warm water and to be out of the immediate vicinity in case Xian Pu caught a splash of cold water. Ku Lon handed the book to her.
Ranma groaned. "Ah, come on, what sorta stuff can a book teach me?"
Ku Lon hit the girl's head with her staff again. "A book can teach many things, if the student is at all willing to learn them!" she said sharply. "I will not have a simpleton who neglects the value of information as a student!"
Ranma glared, but the tactic worked. Rubbing her head sullenly, Ranma reluctantly bent over the book and opened it.
Ku Lon moved into the kitchen, but kept Ranma in sight as she began pulling out ingredients and directing Xian Pu in mixing and preparing them. She'd chosen that particular work for two reasons. First, that deceptively slim book contained what was unanimously considered in the village to be the most accurate, useful basics of ki, meditation and other esoteric branches of martial arts ever to be written. Secondly, the writer was not a typical dry scholar. The book was actually quite engaging, and between the complex topic and good writing the reader quickly would become absorbed in it – even extremely active teenagers.
Ku Lon smiled faintly as Ranma's face lost the look of sullen resentment and gained one of fascination.
Smack.
"Yow!" Ranma jumped, rubbing her shoulder and glaring at Ku Lon, who smiled innocently and picked up a new cork to replace the one she'd thrown at the girl. "What th' heck was that for? I'm readin' yer stupid book, aren't I?"
"Never train in only one thing when you can train in two with virtually the same exercise," Ku Lon said sagely. "You should have been able to block that without even thinking about it. Xian Pu, the sauce and the dough need to be made separately, or the dough won't cook correctly. You know better."
"Xian Pu sorry, Great-Grandmother," Xian Pu said sheepishly, suddenly realizing that she'd picked up the wrong bowl while watching the exchange. Ku Lon saw Xian Pu offer a commiserating smile in the direction of Ranma, although the girl didn't see it, and smiled to herself. If she could get Xian Pu treating female-Ranma like a fellow promising young Amazon and possibly as a friend, then it would not be long before her attitude carried over to how she treated male-Ranma and perhaps she would stop trying to jump the gun regarding her marriage.
And all promising young Amazons were united in their suffering of the trials and travails of being trained by a matriarch.
Ranma bent over the book again, but this time she was only giving it half of her attention. The rest of her mind was focused on watching the Amazons again.
"Teishi, do I have to quiz you about that book to make you read it properly?" Ku Lon threatened. The girl winced at the sharp tone and reluctantly turned her attention back to the book. Once again, as soon as she became completely absorbed in it Ku Lon threw something small and annoying at her.
The pattern continued for a while, although Ku Lon never attacked exactly the same way twice. There was a method to Ku Lon's madness, of course; she was trying to develop Ranma's reactions. Fighters went through several levels of skill when it came to reacting to unexpected attacks. The first one was instinct, choosing a counter or block that was most appropriate to the incoming assault. The drawback of this level was that it was relatively slow; one had to detect the incoming attack, identify it and then instinct would counter. The second level, reflex, was much faster, but it only involved a few ingrained responses; an unusual attack would easily get past the defenses.
By the time the doughnuts were ready to be eaten, Ku Lon was fighting off a sense of near-awe. She herself had been considered a prodigy as a child, but she had still been nearing the century mark when she had finally mastered the third and pinnacle stage of reaction, instinctual reflex. By blending reflex and instinct together, one became virtually immune to any surprise attacks, but the level of skill, dedication and training required to reach that stage were prohibitive.
Ranma was well on her way to that stage, and Ku Lon could see her progressing even in the short span of the exercise. What was more, Ranma's powers of concentration had improved dramatically. By the end of the exercise, she was blocking attacks without raising her eyes from the book for more than a fraction of a second at most, and once or twice Ku Lon thought Ranma had blocked without even noticing that she'd been attacked. This was all very good. The concentration exercise would probably be helpful in school, but the main point of it was to provide an effective introduction to meditation without being blatantly obvious.
Ku Lon was just pulling the chien doi out when someone banged heavily on the side door. "Ranma, what do you think you're doing?!"
Xian Pu went to the door and opened it just enough to look coolly at the visitor. "What pervert-girl think she doing?" she asked with the tone of someone dismissing a small child.
"I'm taking Ranma home, that's what!" Akane shoved the door open and stepped in.
Ku Lon frowned at her. "Child, it is rude to enter a home without invitation."
Akane made a disdainful noise, but the presence of the elder seemed to take some of the wind out of her sails. "Did that ever stop Xian Pu from coming in without permission?"
"No, and I have been having some words with her regarding that behavior. However, Xian Pu's breach of etiquette does not excuse your own."
"Etiket, Great-Grandmother?" Xian Pu blinked at the unfamiliar word.
"Etiquette," Ku Lon corrected. "/It is a word for 'code of conduct,' child. A more formal version of manners.\"
"Oh! Thank you, Xian Pu understand now." Ku Lon's heir turned back to face the Tendou girl. "Besides, is no breach of etiquette. Xian Pu have every right to visit husband!"
Ku Lon overheard Ranma grubling something under her breath that sounded like "doncha hafta have a husband first?" as the girl got up and reluctantly closed the book. Ah well. It was growing late, and the chien doi were finished.
"Geez, relax, Akane!" Ranma said, coming into the girl's line of sight. "Th' ghoul (whap) just invited me t' stay for dinner, that's all."
Akane glared at her. "You stupid jerk, why didn't you just come home to eat?"
Ku Lon decided it was time to play peacemaker, particularly if she didn't want to receive a Ranma-shaped hole in her ceiling. "I asked him to stay for some extra training while we made dessert. My apologies, I should have called and told his father."
Akane blinked. "Dessert? I didn't know they made dessert-ramen…"
"Ah… chien doi, actually." Mentally Ku Lon blinked. Dessert-ramen? What a strange concept. Where had the girl gotten a crazy idea like that? Although… actually…
As Ku Lon mentally juggled ingredients to determine if such a concoction was possible, Akane grabbed Ranma's hand. "Come on. Let's go."
"Wait a moment." Picking up a takeout box, Ku Lon put half of the hot chien doi inside and handed it to the Tendou girl. "Here. It would be rude of me to keep the boy here and then send him off without getting a taste. I am sure your sisters would also appreciate a treat."
"Ummm… thank you," the girl said uncertainly, apparently not sure what to do now that Ku Lon had forestalled the anticipated confrontation. "Come on, baka."
"Just a sec, I gotta give this back…" Ranma offered the book to Ku Lon.
The matriarch waved it away. "No, take it home and continue reading it, teishi." She smiled wryly. "I am sure that you could even ask your father to help continue the exercise, as well."
"Heh, I don't even need ta ask. All I gotta do is start readin' in his sight an' he'll go off like a volcano."
"Why does that not surprise me?" Ku Lon asked rhetorically. It had always struck her as odd that a teacher as good as Saotome Genma would leave such a glaring weak point in his prize student; nevertheless, it was obvious that he had done so. "Good evening, teishi. Miss Tendou."
Ranma and Akane left together, although they were barely through the door when the bickering began.
"Why didn't you tell me you were staying over there for dinner?!"
"I didn't know! What, don't tell me you were worried or nothin'."
"Hmph! Of course I wasn't! I just don't trust a pervert like you around a bimbo like her!"
At this point, they must have turned a corner or something, for Ku Lon could not make out what they were saying any longer. However, given the rapidly deteriorating nature of the conversation, it was no surprise at all when, a few moments later, there was a loud shout of "BAKA!" and the sound of a fist soundly connecting and sending something – or someone – flying.
Xian Pu scowled cutely as she nibbled on a doughnut. "Hmph. Pervert-girl too too violent for Airen."
That reminded Ku Lon. "Pervert-girl?"
"She no understand why Xian Pu tell Airen about Phoenix Pill. Xian Pu think she want Ranma stay girl-type." Xian Pu sniffed haughtily.
Ku Lon chuckled. "I think that it is more likely that she simply distrusts you. After all, you are rivals."
"Too too true. Xian Pu know that. If pervert-girl tell Airen she knew way make Mu Tzu take back challenge two days ago, Xian Pu no trust her either. But pervert-girl fun to tease." Xian Pu grinned.
Ku Lon sighed and dramatically pressed a hand against her forehead. "Teenagers."
Picking up a doughnut for herself (even two-hundred-year-old Amazon matriarchs have a sweet tooth), Ku Lon began mentally reviewing what she had seen of Ranma and Akane thus far, particularly their relationship. Although she had no intention of pushing Xian Pu forward to the exclusion of all else, there was no harm in giving the girl a little assistance – right?
'She has some stiff competition in that Akane girl,' Ku Lon had to concede. 'Whatever else may be true, he definitely cares about her. Odd. It has not been so very long since Ranma came through our village. They cannot have known each other for long; certainly not long enough for a relationship to fully form. And they are always fighting, often seriously.'
After thinking about the matter for a while, Ku Lon thought she had a possible explanation. 'I think – I am not certain, but I believe – that they have done through either coincidence or pressure what my daughter has been attempting to do; they have moved straight into the awkwardness of romance without any of the intermediate stages. They are fiancées and emotionally attached to each other, but there is no foundation of friendship built beneath them.'
Interesting. So long as Xian Pu pressured Ranma into being her 'Airen', Akane would have the advantage. Akane already had a working relationship, however rocky, with the boy. If, on the other hand, a girl came who was as interested in a friend as she was in a boyfriend – if not more so – then Akane would have a very rough time indeed maintaining her advantage, and Xian Pu would probably be left in the dust, unless she changed her strategy.
The boy's affection, if perhaps not yet genuine love, for the Tendou girl was very strong, but unstable. Therefore, it could be undermined or supplanted gradually by another person willing to put in the time and effort to build a strong foundation first rather than leaping straight into the romance stage. Perhaps that was why the girl kept such close tabs on her fiancé. An innocent friendship might blossom into something more profound – and more threatening.
Of course, Akane could always attempt to backtrack and establish that foundation of friendship herself, but Ku Lon did not think that she would be willing to do so. First of all, it would require that Akane accept that her current relationship needed to be corrected, which would probably run counter to her pride. Second, the outside pressures of their fathers would not permit the amount of distance required.
There was also an element of risk involved in establishing a friendship. Friendships could lead to many results, of which romance was only one. Thus, the odds of someone genuinely becoming friends with the boy with the intention of developing a romance were slim.
Ku Lon sighed and rubbed her head. 'Honestly. Playing match-maker, at my age!… What fun!'
That day set a pattern. Ranma would go to school, and immediately afterwards come to the Nekohanten and work. Ku Lon paid a very meager wage, but the concept of having an income at all was already a novel idea for Ranma.
Besides, the training more than paid off. Xian Pu and Ranma even began unofficially competing for who could deliver the orders with the most style or the most outlandish flair, and the competition only helped Ranma improve. Xian Pu would deliver an order by leaping over the intervening tables; Ranma would one-up the girl and leap over the table in question, delivering the orders with perfect precision whilst upside down in midair. Xian Pu would spin a saucer on its edge as she set the dishes out; Ranma would spin hers like a top and let it spin its way straight to the astonished customer. Then Xian Pu would toss a saucer like discus, and Ranma, not to be defeated, would throw hers like a Frisbee and let it arc through the air in a graceful curve. Xian Pu would swish to a table carrying the platters balanced delicately on her fingertips; Ranma would move through the restaurant doing a dance or kata, balancing chopsticks on her fingers and balancing the orders on the chopsticks. Then sometimes the two would work together; jaws always dropped when the two cute girls began sparring as they danced between the tables, except that rather than trading blows, they were trading entrées.
It all made Ku Lon very, very glad that she had had the foresight to invest in Amazon-made dishware known for its resistance to impacts.
Ranma never stopped trying to steal the Phoenix Pill, and the apparently floating bowl was always a hit. The show only got better when Ranma began gamely continuing her attempts even when the cooks had readied a second or third bowl. Soon Ranma was forced to give up, and as reward she ended up juggling eight, nine, even ten bowls of hot ramen at once.
Then the restaurant would close for the evening, and the Anything Goes Martial Arts Clean-Up would take place, followed by a quick meal and some training.
Finally a no-school day came, and Ranma came early and worked most of the day. Ku Lon had been keeping a careful eye on the girl, and finally, as the lunch crowd finally abated, decided that Ranma was ready for the next stage of training.
Xian Pu turned when the door opened, a cheerful "Nihao!" on her lips, but she bit the greeting off sharply when she saw who had come in.
Tendou Akane didn't even notice her as she stared at female-Ranma, who was hurrying by with seven bowls balanced high in the air on twirling chopsticks. Xian Pu had been forced to admit defeat when it came to chopstick-balancing after the first few days, but Ranma had decided to pursue the venue. Currently each bowl was balanced on a single upright chopstick that in turn was balanced on another upright chopstick, three bowls per hand. The only exception was the bowl that was balanced on an upright chopstick which in turn balanced on the tip of a horizontal chopstick (Ranma was clenching the other end between her teeth).
'Wow. He's good,' Xian Pu thought with a bit of pride. 'Even Great-Grandmother would have trouble pulling that stunt off.'
"Ranma!"
Ranma, who had been putting the orders down on the appropriate table, started in surprise at the Tendou-girl's voice, and the bowl she hadn't yet put down began to fall. Xian Pu yelped and quickly jumped over the intervening table, catching it in midair before the piping-hot broth could splash her fellow waitress. She landed lightly on her feet and laid the bowl out before the customer with a flourish as though to say, 'We meant to do that.'
"Enjoy ramen, lady-customer," she said with a sunny smile as the woman laughed and applauded.
Akane blinked as she walked over. "I thought you saw me," she told Ranma in a not-quite-apologetic tone.
Ranma waved it off, staggering slightly. "Nah, don't worry 'bout it," she said, leaning against a nearby chair for a moment. Xian Pu didn't blame her Airen at all. A full morning and part of the early afternoon working, with only a brief break to grab a bite to eat, was draining, and the energy needed to keep up the show constantly was considerable.
'Well, it's good endurance training, at least. Plus it's fun.'
Akane looked at Ranma in concern. Ranma was looking a little frazzled; after all, she'd just come from another unsuccessful attempt to snatch the Phoenix Pill, and it had been a very long day.
"Don't you think you should quit now?" Akane asked. "I mean… at least you've learned how to balance bowls."
Ranma pushed herself up to a standing position, wobbling. "Wa ha ha!" she laughed, sounding slightly hysterical with fatigue. "You ain't seen nothing yet!"
The dull thump-tump of wooden staff on wooden floor made Xian Pu and her female husband turn.
Ku Lon beckoned imperiously. "Teishi, come here."
"Nn? Hai."
Xian Pu followed, a small frown on her face. 'What is Great-Grandmother up to, anyway?' she wondered. 'I know she likes Airen, so why is she refusing to call him Son-in-law? It's like she doesn't think he's part of the family!' She glanced at the petite, curvy form ahead of her and admitted to herself with a mental giggle, 'Not that he's much of a son at the moment.'
Xian Pu glanced back to make certain that their customers were all served and would not need the staff for a few minutes and realized that Akane was following them.
"What pervert-girl doing?" she demanded, knowing that she sounded really stupid.
The Japanese girl looked down her nose at Xian Pu, which was quite the achievement considering that she was slightly shorter. "Isn't it obvious? I'm making certain that baka doesn't get himself into trouble."
"Great-Grandmother no invite pervert-girl."
"Well, I didn't exactly hear her welcoming you, either!"
"Xian Pu is Great-Grandmother's heir. She no need permission."
Akane did not have a chance to reply; she lost the thread of the conversation as they emerged into the alley behind the Nekohanten and she saw what was waiting.
"Why do you wanna make a fire in this heat?" Ranma asked curious as Ku Lon carefully prodded the open flames.
"You shall see, teishi. Xian Pu! Hand me those!"
Xian Pu passed a small bag of sweet chestnuts to her Great-Grandmother, as eager to see what was coming as her Airen.
"You see these chestnuts?" Ku Lon said, holding it up. Opening the bag, she tossed the chestnuts into the fire. "Now… watch very carefully."
Suddenly Ku Lon thrust her hand into the fire, but none of them had enough time to recoil or even realize what she had done before the Matriarch began snapping her hands in and out. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" she chuckled.
Then Ku Lon turned to the gathered girls (and pseudo-girl). Her hands were full of chestnuts. "Care to try it?"
"Ah!" Xian Pu cried in sudden recognition. "Legendary technique of 'Katchuu Tenshin Amiguriken' – Chestnuts Roasting on Open Fire!"
"I… I couldn't even see her hands!" Akane said with amazement.
Ku Lon grinned as she klopped away on her staff to return to the restaurant. "If you can master this," she called over her shoulder, "snatching the Phoenix Pill will be child's play." Laughing, she vanished indoors.
Ranma's mouth thinned. A blazing light kindled in her eyes.
"I will not be stopped!" she shouted, and Xian Pu could almost see flames of determination roaring around her as she unconsciously went into a fighting stance. "I will master it!"
Akane looked sardonically at her. "Somehow, Ranma… I don't think you should start today."
Xian Pu picked up the bucket Ku Lon had left next to the fire and doused it and Ranma's leg. "Is dangerous to stand in fire!" she said.
Ranma just whimpered. "Itetetetete…"
(A.N. glares at chapter Okay, this has to be one of the most stilted, contrived chapters in this entire story! Yuck. Unfortunately, I kept hitting writer's block, and the quality of my work whenever I have to plow through one of those always takes a serious nose-dive. So don't be surprised if I significantly revise this chapter at some point. However, I want to keep going. I have several ideas for the next few chapters and I wanna get to them. ^_^
I realized that I was being a little mean to Xian Pu, so I shifted the story briefly to her point of view. Did you like it?
Well, Ku Lon has gotten Ranma started on some basic mental training, and introduced the amiguriken. I'm a little worried about the whole ki matter at the moment – which book introduces the hiryuu shouten ha? I'd really prefer to see what Takahashi does with explaining ki and the like before I move on to actual ki training.
Special thanks to aondehafka, Khimenko Victor, jakub, and everyone else who either left reviews or e-mailed me. ^_^ Keep it coming, onegai shimasu! This story needs the encouragement. Although I have several other story ideas in my head at the moment… If I hit writer's block on my current stories again, I may try to work it off on another story.
Next up: All's Fair at the Fair!)
