to become something of an interuption. Hope you enjoyed the ride.
*^_^*
byrdgirl
Epilog
Giles lay back on his couch reading
a book. On the coffee table sat a half finished cup of tea. It
was cold now, but that seemed to hardly concern the retired librarian. He was completely relaxed.
He sighed in the quiet of the afternoon. No one
was left in the house. Buffy and Xander were both
at work, Dawn was at school and Willow, who had been
released from the hospital the day after he had,
was recovering at Tara's. For the first time in
longer than he'd care to remember, Giles was completely
at ease.
"Bed rest for a week." The doctor had ordered. Of course Giles protested at first. Eventually he
was forced to agree, because it was the only way to get
them to let him out of the hospital. The rest of
the Scoobies insisted that he actually obey the doctor's
orders this time. Once again Giles protested, a
little less sincerely this time.
"Buffy, you need the rest as much as I do." He reminded her.
"That's the worst excuse
you've ever given. You know I heal faster than you do. I'm
practically
back to my old self already. You on the other other
hand..." She had taken in his pale appearance as
they sat in the car on the way home. They had put
his arm in a sling to keep him from pulling the stitches
and there were still a few pale bruises from his first
encounter with Katherina, so he really looked a sight.
Buffy's stern gaze settled the
matter entirely. "I don't want to see you with a crossbow or a book
in
your hand for a week."
"No books?" Giles was suddenly alarmed.
Buffy smiled. "Well, maybe we can dig something up for you, but no demonology."
So here he sat, with Buffy's
copy of Jurassic Park. He was nearly done with that one. He had also
had the chance to read The Stand, several generic mysteries,
and the first two Harry Potter books, which
he borrowed from Dawn. It was a very pleasant recovery
compared to past experiences.
His week was coming to a close
however, and he and Buffy still had not had that talk he had insisted
upon after Dawn had been kidnapped. In fact, he
got the feeling that when Buffy wasn't avoiding the
issue, she was avoiding him all together. He had
the feeling that he would have to corner her and that
there would be a lot of resistance.
He heard the kitchen door open
and then slam shut, and Buffy grumbling under her breath. He made
a decision, and before letting himself actually think
about what he was doing, he closed the book and
marched into the kitchen.
Buffy was bent over the sink,
the water running. She was still in her work clothes, and holding
what
looked like a shirt under the tap. She hadn't noticed
Giles walk in, so her litany of muttering continued.
"...stupid greasy fry cook, and it's my favorite shirt
too. What do I have to do to protect my personal
stuff in that place? More clothes bite the dust
at that rat infested germ farm than when I'm slay..."
Giles gently cleared his throat
to let her know he was there. She jumped about two feet in the air
and
spun into a defensive position, just in case whoever
was behind her had fangs, or claws. When she saw
Giles standing behind her, looking slightly uncomfortable,
she relaxed. "Feeling better?" She asked,
while at the same time turning back to her scrubbing.
She's doing it again. She's avoiding me. "I'm feeling much better. He replied,
annoyance tainting
his voice. "Look Buffy, I think it's time we had
that talk you promised me."
"Hmm?" She asked happily
oblivious. She was most certainly doing it again; a combination of
playing ignorance, avoiding the issue, and changing the
subject. "Buffy, stop that." He closed the gap
between them and turned off the water. "I won't
have you changing the subject or pretending you
don't know what I'm talking about. "I've been subjected
to Dawn's after school cartoons for the l
ast week, I think I'm owed this."
There was a moment, when Giles
could see the conflict in Buffy's eyes. She was considering her
options. Giles was hurt that she might actually
try to brush him off again. His disappointment showed,
and that was what broke Buffy's resolve. She sagged
into a kitchen chair. "What do you want to know?"
She sounded defeated. She sounded ashamed.
Giles took a seat next to his
slayer. He didn't know the answer to that question. And now,
seeing
the look on Buffy's face, he wasn't sure he wanted any
of the answers he might get. His next words
were chosen carefully. "I know a little bit about
what happened. Dawn wrote me letters."
Buffy looked up sharply at that. "Please don't tell her I told. It was sort of a secret. She
found out
where I lived and I guess she knew I would move again
if she told you. I know that Willow's abuse of
magic continued after I left. I know about the
wedding. I know Dawn was having some trouble, but
she didn't go into much detail about that..."
"She was stealing."
"Pardon?" Giles wasn't sure he heard right.
"It was going on even before
you left. She was shoplifting. She even stole from the Magic
Box.
And it was so hard, I didn't know what to do. She
was almost taken away by social services. And we
don't know where Anya is. After the wedding she
just left. Xander's a wreck. He doesn't let it show,
but I can tell. I think Willow's stopped using
the magicks, but sometimes I don't know. Giles it got really
bad. She almost killed Dawn, and sometimes I get
this feeling like...I don't know. And then there's Spike."
She was definitely avoiding his
gaze now. Her eyes were fixed to the table. A slight shudder
passed
through her body at the realization of what she had just
said, and of what she would have to say in a moment.
"What about Spike?" Giles
prodded gently. Somehow he knew that this was it. He knew that
everything else had led up to this and that whatever
she was about to say was not going to be pleasant.
"I've been...um..." Her
voice failed. Then she took a deep breath and said it on the exhale. "I've
been sleeping with him."
Giles noticed that her eyes were
closed when she said it, as though if she didn't look, then it didn't
really happen. For his part, about twenty different
reactions to what she had just said were all fighting
for dominance. They ranged from storming out of
the kitchen in disgust to laughing out loud at the
ridiculousness of it all. All he managed to do
though, was blink.
Buffy, galvanized by fear plunged
on, not thinking about what she was saying anymore. "Oh God,
please don't tell the others. I mean Tara already
knows and that's fine, but if Dawn were to find out,
and Xander, well he'd never speak to me again, and Willow
would be understanding and supportive
and I think that would be worse than anything. I know I deserve to be despised. It's disgusting, I..."
Her voice cracked and tears began cascading down her
face.
Giles' heart broke to see her
so full of self loathing. He couldn't hate her for what she had done.
Not when she hated herself so much. He folded her
into his arms and held her, trying to drain some
of the pain away. "I stopped seeing him, but he
won't go away. I think he actually does love me,
but I don't love him and I can't do it anymore! Giles, nothing is real! I feel like this is all some
nightmare and it doesn't make any sense. Why can't
I wake up?"
Giles squeezed her tighter, wishing
there was something more he could do. "I was wrong. I
shouldn't have left you. It was the wrong time. You needed me. I'm so sorry Buffy." The tears
that had been threatening him now escaped and made thin,
silent paths down his face. They both
stayed that way for a long time.
Finally, when Buffy's sobs had
diminished to occasional snuffles, she broke away from the hug.
"But you're going to do it again, aren't you?" She asked, wiping the tears from her red eyes.
"You're going to leave again. You have a life in
England now and you're going to go back home."
Giles thought about the Hag's
Breath and about Mrs. Welmont and her keen interest in esoteric
books. He smiled at the distraught young woman
before him and said "I am home."
Let me tell you that I love you
And I think about you all the time.
Caledonia, you're calling me
Now I'm going home.
And if I should become a stranger
You know it would make me more than sad.
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had.
