HEY!!!! Sorry about not spelling checking the last chapter ::flicks own ear:: very sorry bout that, so…as an offering to everyone who reads this, I promise, this is a sniffle chapter BTW!!!! THANKS FOR REVIEWING!!!!! PLEASE KEEP IT UP!!!!
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James spent the rest of the day inside his own head, trying to figure out exactly how he thought the night would go. Being a person of reason, he realized there were only three basic ways each of them could feel about this in the end.
First, and, most likely though it was the one he least liked, was that it would leave them both hating one another. Second, the one he was going for was that they would walk away as friends, having a common ground on which they could build a friendship on. He had no idea why he wanted to be her friend, but it was something he greatly desired.
Third, and while it was unreasonable, at some point during they day, it had popped in his head. They could develop a romantic interest in one another, though this. And while the idea didn't completely disgust him, it was not what he was going for.
Classes flew by quickly, and though he was nervous, he was glad he could prove to himself that he was not scared to talk to anyone. The rest of the gang, save Remus who guessed he was sick, had great fun in making up outrageous reason for his seemingly being out of it.
"So James, did you fail another Dark Arts tests and it hurt your feelings?" Sirius suggested. Peter once again tried a little to hard to laugh, making the whole thing sounded faked.
Eventually though, they were in the common room for the night, and it was slowly emptying out. He was sitting, Remus and Peter went in to bed quickly, claiming it been a rough week and it would be good to go to sleep early and have a late mourning.
Sirius soon followed, complaining that James was being no fun in plotting the demise of Slytherins. And after Sirius left, James thought people must have figured it was later than they thought, so within a few moments and room was empty.
He sat down in front of the fire, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to tell her. What it was that he could say that would make her feel better. And right as he saw her red hair and green eyes peeking around a corner, he figured it out.
"Lily?" He stood up out of politeness and pointed to a seat across from him. Even as she sat down, her glare stayed on him.
"Now what did you want to tell me?" She said, he voice cold, but a hint of nervousness was also hidden in it.
"That, I understand what you are."
"How could you, Mr. Prefect possibly understand what I am going though?" She interrupted harshly.
"My parents died, when I was about 7 years old. I still remember them, even though I was young." He answered, his voice no longer holding that confidence that entranced so many girls.
"They…they did? I never knew…I'm sorry." Lily said, her self-righteous tone having left south for winter.
"Not many people do know, I mean, Sirius, Remus, Peter, they all know, but, no one else, I try not to think about it much" James said, his voice almost trembling.
" But, James, how can you not think about it?" Lily asked
"You get used to it I guess,"
"It stops hurting?"
"No, but, the pain dulls away after while,"
"But, they died so,"
"It was Voldemont wasn't it?" James asked, then regretted, thinking he may have been a little too much to the point.
She blinked a little, it had started out just muggle-born fearing his name, but now most wizards, regardless of birth refused to say it.
"Yeah, they think it was at least. Yours?"
"Same, I think,"
"But that was so long ago, I didn't think he had any followers then,"
"Yeah, I am not sure, but, I remember looking over my roof and seeing the dark mark, and I remember what Dumbledore said,"
"You knew Dumbledore before coming here?"
"Yea, I didn't know who he was at the time, I didn't even call him Mr. Dumbledore, just Albus, he and my father where really close, or at least I remember them being, he was the one who told me what happened,"
"How did he say it? I mean, they told me so cruelly, 'your parents are dead,' then…Petunia" Lily trailed off.
"Who is that?" James asked.
"My, My, umm, Sister," Lily went off again.
"Whom is she staying with?"
"Fiancé,"
James nodded.
"What does she think about all this," He knew as soon as he said it, he had hit it dead on the mark. Her eyes were tearing up, her cold expression melted into that look of self hate.
"She, she, it was a wizard who killed them, they know that for sure, I am the first wizard in my family, I brought…it…it's…. my fault." James eyes began to fill up with pity, as the tears began to fall. She lay down and the sobs began.
James looked down for a quick moment before moving beside her and gently stroking her hair. She sniffled a few times before lifting her head and laying it on his lap.
"James, it just hurt so much, my own sister, I mean, I thought she, the first thing I heard after I found out, was, 'YOU KILLED THEM!'" Lily croaked out between teary sobs.
"Oh Lily, come on," he said, now, to his own shock, he felt comfortable. "You don't believe that, do you?" He had girlfriends in the past, but he never felt like they were a good friends, like this felt.
"Well, they were killed by a wizard, I was the only one in our family, I made us a target, Hogwarts Prefect, I brought," Lily said, actually believing what her sister had driven into her mind.
"Lily, come on, it wasn't your fault. You can't live your life thinking that it was your fault. You have to live for the moment, let the future come as it will, and let the past be just that." James said, shocked at his own apparent wisdom.
"James how did you get so,"
"Eh, guess it comes with the position." James said with a smirk. "Now, I am guessing you are going to start sleeping in your bed,"
She rolled over and looked up into his eye, the bright green beacons shinning, reading into him.
"Yes, I will sleep in there, but, I don't want to go up their tonight, I just want to talk, nothing depressing, just, talk, ok?" Her eyes seemed to plead and only lighten up when he nodded in agreement.
"So," he began, "What did you make on the Charms test?"
"Come on James you know that Charms is by best subject, perfect score of course,"
"Course I knew that was your best subject, that is why I asked, I figured thinking about your perfect scores would be sure to cheer you up." James said with a chuckle.
She playfully hit him in the stomach and smiled for the first time in a long time. "And I suppose that me asking you about your Transfiguration grades might put a smile on your face."
"Might? You're kidding me, right? That is the only class I have you beat in." He reminded her.
"Yeah, I still can't figure that one out, McGonagall love me to death, sees you as trouble, and yet you have a better grade than me."
"Yeah, now just think about if our positions were reversed."
"Now that would just be scary,"
They talked like that for a couple of hours. Lily fell asleep first, leaving James with a couple of choices. Leave her as she was, and just give up and go to sleep, sneak up and leave her on the couch alone, or, take her up to bed.
He knew he could do the later, and decided it would be the best. He, like before, picked her up and set her to bed, this time, knew how to keep her asleep though out the whole affair.
How he got to the bed he didn't remember the next mourning. Only thing he did remember about that night was that the last few thoughts that ran though his mind and a strange warmth that felt like a heater was being shinned down on him.
Wow, that actually went well, I guess the second plan came though, I suppose we are friends now. He sighed as if that thought disappointed him, though he didn't know why it should.
