Through My Eyes
Summary: Harm's point of view. Mainly to show the magnitude of his feelings
towards Mac. I don't think there's any better way to do it.
*Note*- I'm really sorry about the not-updating-ness, but I'm wrapping this up soon and moving on, so...here it is.
USS Patrick Henry 4 Months Later
Getting up every morning knowing that I'm on an aircraft carrier is great. Knowing that I've left the love of my life because she doesn't love me is torture. I'm flying a mission today, and the CAG told us that it's going to be the most dangerous one executed in this war. As I walk towards my Tomcat to prep for launch, a helo lands on the deck. Since I have a few minutes and there doesn't seem to be anyone to greet the helo, I decide to do it myself. Jogging over to the pad, I remember that they were flying a JAG out to investigate the mysterious theft of some semi-important documents from the ship's safe. I unlock the helo door, yanking it open. Two people get out, and as I try to identify them, I see warm brown eyes through the goggles of the taller one. Damn. Is that her? Leading the pair over to the cabin, I curse myself for greeting my traitorous ex-best friend. Once we're inside, they take their gear off, and yep, that's Mac. She smiles at me a little, but I don't feel the warmth in it that I used to. I smile politely and nod to her.
"Commander, would you care to join me for coffee later?" She asks me. I turn to her, almost disappointed that I have to fly a mission today. Very disappointed that I have to fly a probably suicide mission while she's here. I feel guilty. In the past, when I was in danger of being hurt, she was always very concerned. Someone even told me that she was on the verge of emotional breakdown when I went down in the Atlantic on the eve of her wedding. I clear my throat.
"I would, but I have a mission to fly at 1100." She looks crestfallen, then responds.
"You're late. It's 1109." Crap! I look at my watch, and it is indeed 1109. I'm tempted to ask her how she does that, but she never told me when we were best friends, so why would she tell me now? I salute her quickly and rush out, jogging towards my Tomcat. She probably doesn't know that this is the last time we'll ever see each other. I'm prepared to die for my country. I might just do that today. I can't risk having the terrorists attack again. What if they killed Mac, or my mom? I can't let that happen, so if I have to fly deep into Afghanistan to bomb an al-Quada base and probably be shot down by anti-aircraft weapons, then so be it. As long as Sarah is okay.
"Harm! Harm!" I hear someone calling be from behind. As I turn to see who it is, someone tackles me in a hug. Looking down to see who it is, I see Sarah's big brown eyes looking up at me, tears flowing.
"What are you doing?" I ask, having to shout over the sound of Tomcats preparing for launch. She pulls away enough to be able to speak to me without breaking her neck, but still holds on to me.
"I'm sorry." She says. What? She continues, obviously seeing the confusion on my face. "I didn't mean what I said. I was scared and didn't want you to get hurt because of me, so I lied and told you that I didn't love you. I'm sorry." Oh, my god. She does love me? My mouth opens and closes several times, but I can't say anything. "If you can't forgive me, I understand, but I do love you. We can talk when you get back." No, we can't. My heart breaks for her, she doesn't know that I'm probably not coming back. Her hair is blowing every which way, and I reach out and tuck a piece of it behind her ear, wiping away her tears with my thumb, just like I used to. I lean down and touch my lips to the corner of hers, and pull away, whispering in her ear,
"Don't forget me." And I walk away from a very confused Sarah MacKenzie. I hold back tears, remembering that I'm doing this to save her life, and perhaps the life of everyone that I know and love. Getting into the Tomcat, I see her standing there, watching me. Please forgive me, Sarah.
************************* Harm's Tomcat 30 Minutes Later
I'm well on my way to the target, and have already been reminded to make my peace with God. That's done, and now I'm enjoying the ride and thinking of Sarah. She's back there, on the carrier, and I'm deathly afraid that she will hear when they lose radio contact with me. I decide to ask for a minute of privacy with her, since I'm sure she's on the bridge listening carefully.
"Patrick Henry, this is Eagle One, requesting permission to have a moment with Colonel MacKenzie." There is silence for a second, then,
"Request granted, Eagle One." A click, then Sarah's voice.
"Harm, they won't tell me what the mission is." I shake my head.
"It's classified, Ninja-girl. It doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know that I forgive you, and I love you. Don't ever forget that, okay?" I turn off my radio after I hear her respond. I don't want to tell her that I might not come back.
********************* Harm's Tomcat 45 Minutes Later
I'm nearing the target. We broke radio contact with the carrier a few minutes ago, and now we're on our own. As the targeting computer zeroes in on a building standing seemingly alone in the desert, I hear the warning beeps that mean there are ground-to-air missiles targeting us right now. I take a breath and press the button that will destroy the terrorist's building. I watch the missile fly into the building, and bank my Tomcat so we're getting the hell out of there. I still hear the warning, and calmly make my way back towards the safety of the ocean. In my rearview mirror, I see my RIO praying, and I decide that I don't really have time to do the same. I see a missile right on my six, and try to maneuver to get away. On the way to the target, we took a long way so that we wouldn't be spotted. Now I'm making a beeline back to the carrier, trying to get as close as possible before we have to eject. I see the carrier in the distance, but the missile has almost caught us. I turn my radio back on, calling the carrier.
"Mayday! Mayday! This is Eagle One. We're one nautical mile away from you, with a bogey hot on our tail! ejecting NOW!" I press the eject button, sending my RIO and I flying into the air as the missile hits the Tomcat, blowing it into thousands of pieces that are now flying at us. As we parachute down, I feel the chunks of metal hitting my helmet and flightsuit. Suddenly, I feel pain over my left eye. Damn, I'm hit. Just before I hit the water, there is a burning sensation shooting through my right leg. Looking down, I see the piece of shrapnel sticking deep into my leg. Cursing, I turn on my emergency beacon before I even hit the water. There's no way I'm risking them not being able to find me again.
ThwapThwapThwap! There's the rescue chopper. Thank God. I float calmly as the chopper picks up my RIO and then comes to get me. Lowering the sling, they try to get close enough to catch me in it, but they're going to lose me in that wave coming up, so I grab the sling myself and motion for them to bring me up.
"Commander Rabb, you got very lucky that time, sir." A young Lieutenant tells me. I nod, laying back in the seat of the chopper. The Corpsman starts wiping my face off- covering the wound above my eye. Then he looks down and sees the metal sticking out of my leg. He mutters a curse, and goes to work stablizing it. I'm tired, and lean back to go to sleep on the short ride back to the carrier when I remember that Sarah is there. I don't want to scare her, so I fight the darkness that I want so badly to succumb to.
"We're here, Commander. Hold on." The lieutenant again. He's trying to stay calm, but I think that he might be more worried than I am. The helo doors slide open, and there are three corpsmen ready to take my RIO and I to sickbay. My RIO. I look around, trying to see him, and the young man that's attending to me motions for me to be taken out of the helo.
"Where's my RIO? Where's Inspector?" That's his call sign. He's a young kid, Hector Melendez. I think his parents are from Puerto Rico or something. We call him 'Inspector Hector'. I'm not sure why, but he seems to like it.
"He's fine, Commander, he's coming in to sickbay right behind you." The lieutenant tells me. Two of the corpsman take me out of the helo and gently place me on a stretcher. Wheeling me to sickbay, I relax, distantly wondering where Sarah is. A voice can be heard echoing down the hall, and Sarah can be clearly heard yelling in a scared-sounding Marine voice,
"Where the hell is he?!?" I cringe. The voice that she just used was an equal combination of 'Frightened Sarah' and 'Very Upset Marine'. She's out for blood. Looking around to see her, I catch a glimpse of her racing down the hallway, coming after me. My vision swims, and black floats in front of me. Suddenly, everything's gone.
************************* USS Patrick Henry Somewhere in the Water ????
Black. That's all I see. I can hear warbled voices coming from around me, and I think I hear Sarah pleading with me not to leave her again. Struggling to open my eyes, everything turns red, then white. I'm blind! Shooting up in bed, I try to look around.
"Harm, it's okay. It's alright." Sarah's soothing voice, and the fact that my vision is clearing up calms me. Laying back in bed, I look over and can barely make out the form of Sarah sitting next to me, but I've felt her hand in mine since I woke up.
"Sarah, what happened?" I ask.
"Your Tomcat was shot down, and you got hit with some of the shrapnel. You're going to be fine, Sailor." She smiles sadly.
"How are you?" I ask. She quirks an eyebrow.
"You're fine, so I'm fine. I love you." Taking her hand, I kiss it.
"I love you too." Sarah is the most perfect woman on earth. At least, she is in my eyes.
*Note*- I'm really sorry about the not-updating-ness, but I'm wrapping this up soon and moving on, so...here it is.
USS Patrick Henry 4 Months Later
Getting up every morning knowing that I'm on an aircraft carrier is great. Knowing that I've left the love of my life because she doesn't love me is torture. I'm flying a mission today, and the CAG told us that it's going to be the most dangerous one executed in this war. As I walk towards my Tomcat to prep for launch, a helo lands on the deck. Since I have a few minutes and there doesn't seem to be anyone to greet the helo, I decide to do it myself. Jogging over to the pad, I remember that they were flying a JAG out to investigate the mysterious theft of some semi-important documents from the ship's safe. I unlock the helo door, yanking it open. Two people get out, and as I try to identify them, I see warm brown eyes through the goggles of the taller one. Damn. Is that her? Leading the pair over to the cabin, I curse myself for greeting my traitorous ex-best friend. Once we're inside, they take their gear off, and yep, that's Mac. She smiles at me a little, but I don't feel the warmth in it that I used to. I smile politely and nod to her.
"Commander, would you care to join me for coffee later?" She asks me. I turn to her, almost disappointed that I have to fly a mission today. Very disappointed that I have to fly a probably suicide mission while she's here. I feel guilty. In the past, when I was in danger of being hurt, she was always very concerned. Someone even told me that she was on the verge of emotional breakdown when I went down in the Atlantic on the eve of her wedding. I clear my throat.
"I would, but I have a mission to fly at 1100." She looks crestfallen, then responds.
"You're late. It's 1109." Crap! I look at my watch, and it is indeed 1109. I'm tempted to ask her how she does that, but she never told me when we were best friends, so why would she tell me now? I salute her quickly and rush out, jogging towards my Tomcat. She probably doesn't know that this is the last time we'll ever see each other. I'm prepared to die for my country. I might just do that today. I can't risk having the terrorists attack again. What if they killed Mac, or my mom? I can't let that happen, so if I have to fly deep into Afghanistan to bomb an al-Quada base and probably be shot down by anti-aircraft weapons, then so be it. As long as Sarah is okay.
"Harm! Harm!" I hear someone calling be from behind. As I turn to see who it is, someone tackles me in a hug. Looking down to see who it is, I see Sarah's big brown eyes looking up at me, tears flowing.
"What are you doing?" I ask, having to shout over the sound of Tomcats preparing for launch. She pulls away enough to be able to speak to me without breaking her neck, but still holds on to me.
"I'm sorry." She says. What? She continues, obviously seeing the confusion on my face. "I didn't mean what I said. I was scared and didn't want you to get hurt because of me, so I lied and told you that I didn't love you. I'm sorry." Oh, my god. She does love me? My mouth opens and closes several times, but I can't say anything. "If you can't forgive me, I understand, but I do love you. We can talk when you get back." No, we can't. My heart breaks for her, she doesn't know that I'm probably not coming back. Her hair is blowing every which way, and I reach out and tuck a piece of it behind her ear, wiping away her tears with my thumb, just like I used to. I lean down and touch my lips to the corner of hers, and pull away, whispering in her ear,
"Don't forget me." And I walk away from a very confused Sarah MacKenzie. I hold back tears, remembering that I'm doing this to save her life, and perhaps the life of everyone that I know and love. Getting into the Tomcat, I see her standing there, watching me. Please forgive me, Sarah.
************************* Harm's Tomcat 30 Minutes Later
I'm well on my way to the target, and have already been reminded to make my peace with God. That's done, and now I'm enjoying the ride and thinking of Sarah. She's back there, on the carrier, and I'm deathly afraid that she will hear when they lose radio contact with me. I decide to ask for a minute of privacy with her, since I'm sure she's on the bridge listening carefully.
"Patrick Henry, this is Eagle One, requesting permission to have a moment with Colonel MacKenzie." There is silence for a second, then,
"Request granted, Eagle One." A click, then Sarah's voice.
"Harm, they won't tell me what the mission is." I shake my head.
"It's classified, Ninja-girl. It doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know that I forgive you, and I love you. Don't ever forget that, okay?" I turn off my radio after I hear her respond. I don't want to tell her that I might not come back.
********************* Harm's Tomcat 45 Minutes Later
I'm nearing the target. We broke radio contact with the carrier a few minutes ago, and now we're on our own. As the targeting computer zeroes in on a building standing seemingly alone in the desert, I hear the warning beeps that mean there are ground-to-air missiles targeting us right now. I take a breath and press the button that will destroy the terrorist's building. I watch the missile fly into the building, and bank my Tomcat so we're getting the hell out of there. I still hear the warning, and calmly make my way back towards the safety of the ocean. In my rearview mirror, I see my RIO praying, and I decide that I don't really have time to do the same. I see a missile right on my six, and try to maneuver to get away. On the way to the target, we took a long way so that we wouldn't be spotted. Now I'm making a beeline back to the carrier, trying to get as close as possible before we have to eject. I see the carrier in the distance, but the missile has almost caught us. I turn my radio back on, calling the carrier.
"Mayday! Mayday! This is Eagle One. We're one nautical mile away from you, with a bogey hot on our tail! ejecting NOW!" I press the eject button, sending my RIO and I flying into the air as the missile hits the Tomcat, blowing it into thousands of pieces that are now flying at us. As we parachute down, I feel the chunks of metal hitting my helmet and flightsuit. Suddenly, I feel pain over my left eye. Damn, I'm hit. Just before I hit the water, there is a burning sensation shooting through my right leg. Looking down, I see the piece of shrapnel sticking deep into my leg. Cursing, I turn on my emergency beacon before I even hit the water. There's no way I'm risking them not being able to find me again.
ThwapThwapThwap! There's the rescue chopper. Thank God. I float calmly as the chopper picks up my RIO and then comes to get me. Lowering the sling, they try to get close enough to catch me in it, but they're going to lose me in that wave coming up, so I grab the sling myself and motion for them to bring me up.
"Commander Rabb, you got very lucky that time, sir." A young Lieutenant tells me. I nod, laying back in the seat of the chopper. The Corpsman starts wiping my face off- covering the wound above my eye. Then he looks down and sees the metal sticking out of my leg. He mutters a curse, and goes to work stablizing it. I'm tired, and lean back to go to sleep on the short ride back to the carrier when I remember that Sarah is there. I don't want to scare her, so I fight the darkness that I want so badly to succumb to.
"We're here, Commander. Hold on." The lieutenant again. He's trying to stay calm, but I think that he might be more worried than I am. The helo doors slide open, and there are three corpsmen ready to take my RIO and I to sickbay. My RIO. I look around, trying to see him, and the young man that's attending to me motions for me to be taken out of the helo.
"Where's my RIO? Where's Inspector?" That's his call sign. He's a young kid, Hector Melendez. I think his parents are from Puerto Rico or something. We call him 'Inspector Hector'. I'm not sure why, but he seems to like it.
"He's fine, Commander, he's coming in to sickbay right behind you." The lieutenant tells me. Two of the corpsman take me out of the helo and gently place me on a stretcher. Wheeling me to sickbay, I relax, distantly wondering where Sarah is. A voice can be heard echoing down the hall, and Sarah can be clearly heard yelling in a scared-sounding Marine voice,
"Where the hell is he?!?" I cringe. The voice that she just used was an equal combination of 'Frightened Sarah' and 'Very Upset Marine'. She's out for blood. Looking around to see her, I catch a glimpse of her racing down the hallway, coming after me. My vision swims, and black floats in front of me. Suddenly, everything's gone.
************************* USS Patrick Henry Somewhere in the Water ????
Black. That's all I see. I can hear warbled voices coming from around me, and I think I hear Sarah pleading with me not to leave her again. Struggling to open my eyes, everything turns red, then white. I'm blind! Shooting up in bed, I try to look around.
"Harm, it's okay. It's alright." Sarah's soothing voice, and the fact that my vision is clearing up calms me. Laying back in bed, I look over and can barely make out the form of Sarah sitting next to me, but I've felt her hand in mine since I woke up.
"Sarah, what happened?" I ask.
"Your Tomcat was shot down, and you got hit with some of the shrapnel. You're going to be fine, Sailor." She smiles sadly.
"How are you?" I ask. She quirks an eyebrow.
"You're fine, so I'm fine. I love you." Taking her hand, I kiss it.
"I love you too." Sarah is the most perfect woman on earth. At least, she is in my eyes.
