Disclaimer: You know the drill, just borrowing.

Pairings. There's quite a few flung in for good measure. You just have to be paying attention.

Season : Five, Rite of Passage mentioned.

Author's notes: and * * indicates thoughts from the two different parts, the rational, sensible bits of us, and the, well not so sensible rational parts of us. I kind of alternated them it WAS completely on purpose and not just because I was writing this over a few months a couldn't be bothered looking back to see what I'd done before. Hey, it wasn't. Ok, the Christmas party two month thing was because I started writing this in February, Just pretend Christmas was two months ago. The first couple aren't all that funny. In fact the first one isn't really funny at all, it's more of a tease, but please just stick with it for a couple of chapters, they aren't that long.

Oh, yeah, FEEDBACK. I live for feedback. Why is that people are so vocal with their opinions when you really want them to shut up and then the times when you actually want to know, there's a resounding silence. Prove me wrong, go on. PLEASE.

-SGC; 08:00-

"Hey, Janet. Are you OK? You don't look so good." Sam asked her petite friend as they walked through the halls of the SGC to their mutual destinations.

"Yeah, I'm fi-"her hand quickly goes up to her mouth as she swallows hard. "I'm fi-" runs to nearby toilet from where vomiting can be heard within a five mile radius. Sam receives strange looks from passing personnel as she waits outside.

Knock on the door.

"Are you Ok in there?" this is responded to by more retching sounds. "Janet?"

The door slowly opens to reveal a pale Doctor. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She says quietly. She begins back down the corridor.

"You don't sound it." Sam says as she follows her friend.

"It's nothing. I guess I just don't agree with commissary breakfasts." She says coyly in the way she always does when something IS wrong. Sam laughs gently.

"You know, it's true what they say, Doctors make the worst patients." Se took the turn off that lead to her lab, leaving her friend knowing full well that when she was ready, she would be told about whatever was wrong with Janet.

Janet watches as her friend goes off down the corridor, glad at her dropping the subject. The last thing she needed right now was Sam on her case. She had enough on her mind. She started back off down the corridor towards her infirmary, to the safety of her office. She mentally cursed herself for being so stupid as to let that happen on base, especially in front of Sam. She vowed never to let it happen again. She had managed to hide it from them for the past couple of weeks, she could do it for the next, and then hopefully, it would pass. If Sam saw it again she might figure it out,

*she's no dumb ass, she knows what to look for.*

'Maybe I should tell Sam. No, don't be so stupid. I can't just tell her something like this. No, it wouldn't be right for her to know before him.' She automatically responded with the standard good morning as she was greeted upon entering her infirmary. She settled down at her desk and looked at the mountain of paperwork stacked up. 'Ok, paperwork, I can do this. Lt. Simmons annual medical report. Nothing wrong with him except an acute case of puppy love. mental laugh Oh god, what if that's all this is, just puppy love. Just a little fling till he gets back with her, the other half, the ball and chain. He said they weren't married anymore. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about her. I mean he is the mother of his child. another mental laugh Oh god, I guess I am too. I should tell him. I should just get up walk out and tell him that as a result of something that took place very quickly and probably meant absolutely nothing to him. He's going to be s father, again. How do I tell him something like that.

*it's easy, you just say the words, I'm pregnant. It's not rocket science, easy, I'm pregnant, that's it.*

'Shut up. What do you know about easy? If I tell him, he's going to feel trapped. Men don't deal with that very well, he's a man of honour though, he'll fell that he must do the right thing.'

*You'll get what you want, you'll get him.*

'How many times do I have to tell you, SHUT UP. I don't want him like that, I want him to be with me freely, through choice, not through some sense of loyalty, or guilt.'

*You HAVE to tell him.*

'Shut up, stupid. No I don't, I don't have to do anything I don't want to.'

*You sound like a kindergartener, who's being the stupid one, you can't just bury your head in the sand and pretend everything's all right.*

'Yes I can.'

*No you can't.*

'I can do anything I want.'

*Fine.*

'What do you mean fine.'

*Just what it sounds like, fine. You know as well as I do that if you don't tell him now. You'll never tell him. Then he'll feel hurt and betrayed when he finds out, and he'll avoid you.*

'No he won't.'

*Yes he will.*

'Shut up, what do you know?'

*As much as you. Actually.*

'Oh, very witty. Maybe, if I told someone else, they could tell him.'

*Coward. That's just as bad. You have to tell him yourself.*

'What abo-'

*No, a note does not count.*

'I wasn't thinking of a note.'

*Yes you were.*

'No actually, I was thinking of a phonecall.'

*Oh, they sooo don't count either.*

'Yes they do.'

*No, they don't. The only way is face to face.*

'Yeah, I suppose your right.'

*Told you so.*

'Shut up. This is going to be soo weird, we've hardly said two words since, the incident. I knew a

Christmas party was a bad idea, but noooo, Sam had to go organise it all, Sam had to go to a lot of effort, Sam had to guilt trip me in to coming, Sam had to spike the punch.'

*Hey I'm beginning to see a pattern here.*

'Yeah I know, this is all Sam's fault.

*No, you're trying to blame it on Sam. It's nothing to do with her, well maybe a little. NO, you are the one who wore the 'lucky' dress, you're the one who drank all that punch knowing it was spiked, you're the one who practically through yourself at him in an attempt to live out all those dreams you'd been having.*

'Hey, how do kno-.'

*Oh thought I didn't know about them, WRONG. All seeing. All knowing, Now listen to me, you have to

tell him. Today, no in fact right now.*

'I can't.'

*No, you just won't.*

'What if he doesn't want us. Me or it.' She laid a hand protectively across her stomach.

*Then you'll just have to deal with it.*

'But what if I can't. I've never had a kid before, I don't know if I can do it on my own.'

*You won't be on your own, you'll have lots of people to help you. Just go, the more you think about it the less likely you are to do it. Go now. NOW!*

'Ok Ok, gees, mom.'

*Hey, you're the only mom around here.* She smiled to herself as she walked out the office.

'Yeah I guess I am. God, I'm somebody's mother. I just better not turn into my own mother, that would be hellish. Oh god, I'm nearly at his quarters. Oh, man, I hate that feeling in my stomach. Maybe I should do this later, I mean he's probably busy or something.'

*No, you have to do it.*

'Ok, Janet, do something, you can't stand at his door forever. Ok knocking is good. Oh well no answer, guess I'll just have to leave it. Oh no, why is the door opening. Man. Ok, Janet you have to say something, don't make yourself look stupider than you feel. Ok, mouth opening this is good.'

"Hey, Teal'c can I talk to you for a minute."