Part two - A fateful happening

Two days had passed since the night at the hot springs. Haldir had been on duty almost continually after that, both because it was necessary with large bands of orcs pouring in across their borders, but also of his own choice. He needed time to think about what had happened that night, and the simple life in the forest gave him time to sort his mind out. Still, he could think of nothing else. His brothers, who often shared his watches with him, had tried to make him tell them what was on his mind, but he had been distant and reluctant. Due to the rotation of the guards, he and his brothers had been stationed at separate posts this morning, and for once he was glad, meaning he could have peace to sort out his feelings.

First, he had chided himself for having become too emotional, Haldir feared that he had almost let Celeborn know how he felt, and he had deeply regretted his rash actions. Then, he had started analyzing the things Celeborn had said to him, things he had not quite grasped in the heat of the moment, being so absorbed in his own misery, brought about by Celeborn's insistent questions about his lack of partner. But slowly he remembered that his lord had hinted several times that a possible lover could be nearer than he thought - and also that he felt alone. And then, there were the touches and caresses, something Celeborn had never done to him before, and ... the kiss.

Could this mean that perhaps... no, he dared almost not to think that thought, but still .... Could this mean that perhaps Celeborn could be attracted to him? To Haldir? No, it could not be, he was a lowly guard, he could not even allow himself to believe that his lord would look at him that way ..... but he could not get that thought out of his mind, and it grew ever stronger.

Having come this far in his chain of thoughts, Haldir felt that he needed some acknowledgement that it could really be so. He needed to see Celeborn again, to just look into his eyes and find the answer to whether this was a figment of his imagination, or if it really could be true. So when his captain this morning needed a person to go to the lord's talan to pick up the new set of orders from the seneschal's office, Haldir had volunteered. As he ascended the long stairways to the large talan, his heart started beating faster and faster, and his palms became damp with anticipation. He quickly collected the pack of parchment from the seneschal, and chose the path that lead past the reception hall, hoping to get a glimpse of his lord. The hall was empty, and his heart fell in disappointment, but then he heard voices emerging from the library next door. Anxious just to catch a glimpse of his lord, he approached the open door.

It had been only the night before when Celeborn had heard word of Tinendel's return to the woods of Lothlorien and for a time his heart was lighter then it had been in many days. The thought of seeing his old friend, a friend from childhood was indeed a good one, one that was able to alleviate a bit of the darkness that had seemed to hang about him of late. He smiled, able to sleep that night unplagued by dreams of blacker things, a sleep which was much needed. Though still Celeborn rose early that morning, pushing back the sheets he bathed and dressed.

Having a light breakfast brought to him in the gardens below, enjoying the song of the birds in the trees and the warm sun light on his skin. Celeborn was lost in thought when a cheerful voice brought him out of it, calling his name. Looking up a smile spread across his face in response as he caught sight of the lean dark haired figure moving towards. Tinendel had never known how to do things slow, or properly that was for sure. Even when they were children he had always been more rash than the others, jumping when everyone else thought about it. Now as he bounded through the forest unconcerned with the looks he got, he showed the same spirit he had as a child. It was that spirit that had called him away from the forest when Celeborn would have much rather had him stay, though he knew he could not ask it of him, even though Tinendel would have if he had. The same was with asking Haldir not to go to guard the borders for fear that he might be hurt, it was who and what he was. Fighting was what he did, travel and adventure was what Tinendel had always lived for, it was that need and the slowness of life in the forest that had drawn him away.

Now Celeborn hoped that perhaps he might stay seeing as things were no longer so quiet or safe in the Golden Wood. Raising from his seat he moved towards his friend, caught up in a warm embrace before any words could be exchanged. He was not overly surprised when Tinendel did not stop with the hug, but caught his lips up in a warm kiss. Indeed he returned it with his own measure of feeling, they had always been close, indeed at one point they had been lovers though each had gone their own way, there was still a good measure of love between them. It was not what it had once been true, but close friends they had remained and would probably always be so unless something drastic happened to change that.

After a prolonged moment the kiss ended, though the two stayed in a warm embrace for a few moments longer before Celeborn pulled away. "Come eat with me Tinendel, tell me of your journey." He said smiling. "I have long missed your company, pray tell me everything."

Tinendel laughed--a glorious sound in the early morning air, clear and ringing--looping an arm around Celeborn's shoulders as they made their way back to the table. Celeborn however decided that perhaps it was better to take the conversation inside, knowing that some times of which they would undoubtedly speak should not be widely known. Not that he feared overly much someone eavesdropping but sometimes one could not help but hear what was said. So the two of them made their way companionably silent into the talan, to the library. "Were I to tell you of everything that has happened my friend, I fear we would be here till even we are old."
"And some would consider us old already." Celeborn pointed out with a chuckle pouring another cup of tea for his friend. "But enough, then tell me some of what has happened since we last spoke? It is good to see that you have not lost your smile along the way."
"Aye but I see that yours has faded, since then." Tinendel pointed out taking a sip of the luke warm liquid. "In truth there is little to tell, except of fighting and such. I traveled far and saw much but most of it is not worth telling except for the love of one lad..." For a moment his eyes were dark, rather sad. "But I was foolish there."

Celeborn reached over to lift Tinendel's eyes to his own. "Tell me of him." He prompted gently.
"Ne I will not speak of such matters, tis a happy occasion." Tinendel's smile returned in full force. "Speak to me of yourself, what has happened in the wood since I left? For I return and I find the tidings are darker at least that which I was told at the border, what of the Lady?"
"Another warms her bed now." Celeborn replied rather bluntly.

There was a moment of pause and slowly Tinendel nodded his head. "And what of you, have you found another? Or do you still long after the one you will not speak to? Is that why?"
"In part yes, however it was not only I who wished for another, tis better this way."
"And you still have not spoken with him?"

Celeborn laughed humorlessly. "Do you think I have spoken with him?"
Tinendel shook his head. "You have not, you fool. Can you not see that he shares your feelings if only you would have the nerve to tell him." There was a hint of rebuke in his voice. "Trust me, you have waited far too long as it is, now there is no lady to hide behind, no one else who will save you except for your self. For if you do not go to him then I will, and I will tell him all that I know."
"It can not be... I am fool to think that there could be something more."
"You are fool for dwelling on it if you truly believe that there is no hope."
"Tinendel.."
"No more excuses!" Tinendel stood up leaning across the table to hook his fingers through the front of Celeborn's shirt pulling him closer. "Do not tell me that you know not what to say to him." He commented softly, leaning closer hand moving to the elf lord's chin instead of his shirt tilting his face up a little. "You need not say anything if you do not wish it." He purred, lips mere inches from Celeborn's. "All you need do is go to him and do as I do." That said Tinendel leaned forward to capture Celeborn's lips once more, with a quite pointed kiss that bordered on something not so friendly as the first.

Hesitantly approaching the library door, Haldir could hear Celeborn's voice, and also another, unknown male. Unable to make out the words, and not wanting to interrupt any conversation, he cautiously entered the open doorway, finally getting a good view of the two persons standing in the room. His lord was there, standing very close to a tall, dark-haired, extremely handsome elf, their faces almost touching. The unknown elf seemed almost to be purring, and the next second the two elves kissed each other thoroughly, in a manner that was nothing but purely sensual.

For a moment it was like a lightning had struck Haldir right where he stood, and his whole body froze. His eyes were wide open, but he was unable to move or even breathe. The next moment the reality of what he saw came crashing down on him, and he gasped for air with a half choked sob. For a split second he met Celeborn's eyes over the other elf's shoulder, and then he knew nothing more except to get away from there as fast as possible. He turned and fled, blood thundering in his ears, mouth dry, eyes unseeing, stumbling down the long stairway and throwing himself at his horse, Nim, like he was grabbing for a life line, and the next moment Nim carried him away as fast as it was able to run.

For a brief second Celeborn was too surprised to move, he had not expected to see Haldir there right then and now. He could not help but see the hurt in the other elf's eyes. He felt Tinendel's hand on his shoulder, "Do you doubt me know?" His friend asked softly, before pushing him towards the door. "Do not let him get away from you."

Celeborn hesitated for a moment before leaving the library behind, Tinendel followed a little farther behind to be there but not intrude. He intended to disappear should anything happen that it might not be wise if he were privy to it. He cursed softly when he saw Haldir mount his horse and ride away, seeing Celeborn pause at the food to the stairs.

He was not sure what he had expected when he ran out the door, had not expected anything, just knew he had to talk to Haldir. There was no putting it off now, not after the emotions he had seen so plainly displayed in Haldir's eyes when he had seen him and Tinendel. Celeborn had a very good idea of what was going through his mind right now in response to that. // I should have told him that night.// He thought, finding it almost funny after his thoughts the previous nights. "Haldir!" His voice rang out through the forest as he watched the blond elf ride away. Slowly Celeborn came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, feeling emotions warring within himself.

Haldir heard nothing but his own heartbeats and the hooves of his horse thundering through the forest. Quite a distance into the wood, he halted Nim, trying to collect himself. Still out of breath, he rubbed his eyes and face harsly, getting angry with himself. //You stupid, stupid fool! What did you expect? Getting your hopes up like that! Of course he did not have any interest in you! He was just lonely. This beautiful elf was the one he had longed for, and now he has come back to him.//

He got off the horse, intending to wash his face in the brook nearby, but was unable to stand on his shaking legs, and sank down on his knees. //You fool, this serves you just right! // Nevertheless, this pain in his chest was killing him, crushing him, choking him - he had allowed himself to hope, and now the hope was crushed .... His breath came in erroneous, hitching gasps as he bent his head, letting heavy, warm tears fall to the forest floor.

//I want to tell you...// Celeborn thought obliquely, wishing quite fervently that he had simply given into the desire to tell Haldir that night. It had been such a strong one, especially when those eyes had watched him, with something more than pity--understanding. He could picture it perfectly clear in his mind, so much so that it brought tears to his eyes. Celeborn did not even realize that Tinendel had come up behind him till the other elf wrapped his arms around him. "I told you before that he loved you, even though he did not yet realize it. Give him some time and when he returns speak to him, tell him the truth. What is on your heart and what is between us, if he will not believe you I will swear to it." Tinendel said quietly, gently pulling Celeborn back up the steps.

His mind was in too much turmoil, regret, fear, and longing to realize exactly what was happening, he almost rode out after Haldir right then and there. Yet something in Tinendel's words rang true. It would do neither of them any good to talk when their emotions were still raging the way they were. //Forgive me Haldir, this is my fault.// He thought leaning back against the wall, as he let his tears fall freely now in the cool darkness of the talan, wrapped around him like Tinendel's arms. It had been many a year since Celeborn had cried freely, something he had only done in Tinendel's presence, and once briefly in Galadriel's arms. He had long prided himself on being in control of his emotions, but now he found that a single look could bring him to tears as years of longing began to come to a climax.

After a long while, Haldir finally lifted his head. The sunrays flickering through the leaves were reflected in the glistening tears on his cheeks and the disheveled blond hair, long wet strands still clinging to his face. With red, bleary eyes he looked for Nim, finding him carefree grazing by the brook, happy to have a nice break after the hurried ride. Still sniffling, wiping his eyes and nose with the sleeve of his tunic, he made his way to the brook and splashed the cold fresh water on his face, washing away every trace of emotion. He then undid his braids, combed his hair with the tiny comb he had in his pocket, and rebraided it. Straightening his clothes, he finally checked his reflection in the water, making sure that there was no trace left of what had happened, and with soothing words to Nim, he mounted and rode away.

His heart still felt heavy as stone, but with a new ice-cold feeling, now that he knew for certain that his stupid ideas had been for nothing. There was a new, hardened look in Haldir's eyes, and he sat straight as a steel spring on his horse with his head held high, as he rode to his captain's camp delivering the requested documents. Without uttering a word to his fellow guards he returned to his post at the border, to guard the route leading into the wood.