Here we go, folks, the next installment. I tried to include the Scooby gang a bit moer and tie up some loose ends. Hope ya like! If you do, let me know. If you don't, let me know. Just leave me notes!!! :-D
"Do you think she's ready?" Xander whispered to Buffy, watching Giles hold her arm as he helped her from the car.
"I don't know," Buffy said honestly. "I really don't. But she wanted to come, and I guess maybe she needs to."
Dawn looked knowingly at her sister and nodded despite the fact that no one had asked her. Buffy was right. It was the same way when their mom had died. Going to the grave had hurt more than anything she could imagine, but she needed to do it. Doing it gave her a small sense of relief; it started the healing process.
Willow, clad in a long dark green skirt and a white peasant top, held tightly to Giles' arm, swaying unsteadily at the gates to the cemetery.
None of them had been too keen about her visiting a grave at night, not in Sunnydale, but the fact of the matter was, Willow wasn't ready to see her friends, let alone any of the other people she'd tried to annihilate.
Buffy stepped forward, handing her the bouquet of white roses Will had picked out. "Want us to go with you?"
Willow sniffed and replied in that small voice she had adopted, "No…no I want to go alone."
At their nods, she began the long arduous walk to Tara's grave.
Once she was out of their view she allowed a few tears to cascade down he cheeks, and by the time she was kneeling, setting down the flowers, she was bawling quietly.
"I loved you so much, Tara," she sobbed. "Goddess, I loved you. I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry!"
"I heard Tinkerbell was…" Spike's soft voice approached. "I just didn't know it was true."
Willow looked up, but once she saw who it was, turned back to the grave, not caring that he was supposed to be dust touching the grass lightly, still crying. "She…she…I never got a chance to tell her how much I loved her."
Spike knelt and laid a hand on her shoulder. When she didn't meet his gaze he lifted her chin with gentle fingers. "She knows, Red."
"How can you know that?" she contested angrily. "You're a vampire."
He cringed. "I know that, luv, because I know a thing or two about love. Thing I know best, is that when you really love a person - love 'em like you two loved each other- it's not about the 'I love you's'. It's about this," he said somberly, placing a hand over her heart. "It's a feeling so deep you can't ignore it no matter how much you try, no matter how much you want to. It's deeper than flesh and bones and blood. It's in the soul. It's forever. Eternal."
She let out a tortured whimper.
"Death can't stop love," he told her sincerely.
"I miss her so much!" she exploded in tearful moans.
"She knows that, too," Spike told her. "And she's missin' you, too. But there's nothing you can do about that…except wait to be together when it's time."
"What if I don't wanna wait for time?" she spat. "What if I want it to be now? What if I ended it myself?"
He looked her in the eye. "S'not the way. What would Tara think?"
Willow softened at her love's name, but sneered. "What's one more thing? I tried to end the world."
"And I'm damn glad you didn't," he said, forcing her again to look at him. "And you think she wouldn't be glad about that? That there was something, whatever it was, inside you that wouldn't let you?"
She didn't answer.
"That's the Willow she loved. Kind and gentle little girl who wouldn't want to hurt anyone," he told her.
"But I did want to hurt them," she said. "I wanted to kill them all!"
"It was the magick," he guessed, and knew he was right by the look in her eyes. "That's what happened, innit?"
She nodded.
"Magick's a powerful thing, Red. But I'm sure you know that. And I'm sure you know that sometimes the dark magick can take you over, playing on your emotions until you're not yourself," he said, remembering something he'd seen before, a man totally possessed by the Black magick. "Know what else? Tara knows that too. She'd only care that you stopped. She'd love you for stopping. She'd forgive you."
Willow sobbed out loud again, tears coming back full force.
Spike stood up, drawing back his hands. "Now all you have to do is forgive yourself."
"How?" she asked, looking up.
"I wouldn't know," he said grimly. "All I know is it's not gonna be easy, and it's not gonna be quick. But you've got your friends. They'll help you. And you've got her, inside you."
She smiled for the first time, looking at the roses on the bright green grass. When she looked up to say something, to thank him, he was gone, almost as if he'd never been there at all.
In his place, a glimmer of light in the darkness, and an unmistakable face, a smile she would have recognized if she were blind.
And she didn't cry at the sight, because she read the smile as well as she did when Tara was alive. Tara understood. And she forgave.
Willow returned the smile.
"What's taking her so long?" Anya asked, looking at her watch. "I've got to get back to the Magic Box for inventory."
"Relax, An," Xander said softly. "This is…delicate."
Anya, not fully getting the big deal, was quiet, because Xander spoke to her like nothing had happened between them, and it had been awhile since that had happened.
"Do you think anything's wrong?" Dawn asked warily. "It's nighttime and all."
Buffy had already worried over this, and that made the worry even worse. "That's it, I'm going in there."
Not a second after the words left her mouth, Willow came into view, standing up straighter, and walked from the gates back to the friends that loved and accepted her no matter what.
"Will?" Buffy and Xander asked together.
She gave them the biggest smile she could muster. It wasn't a full fledged smile, but it wasn't a frown, either. That was all that mattered.
"What do you think happened in there?" Anya asked Xander later as the nursed coffee at Buffy's kitchen table.
"I don't know," he said, staring past the woman into the living room, where Buffy and Willow were talking- God, actually talking- on the couch. "But whatever it was, I'm not complaining."
"You really love her, don't you?" Anya said softly, staring at her coffee as she stirred it.
Xander looked at her, waiting until she looked up to see if he would answer, catching her gaze. "There aren't a lot of people in this world I can say I love, and there are probably less that love me back. So when I say I love you…I mean it."
She blinked a few times, then looked away.
"I mean it, An," he told her, swallowing hard.
"You're wrong, you know," she said softly, staring at the clock on the wall as it ticked away.
"About what?" he asked, furrowing his brow.
"There are a lot of people who love you," she clarified.
"Not a lot," he argued.
"Enough," she said, finally looking in his eyes. "We both said and did a lot of things, Xander. Bad things, wrong things…but that's no reason to start hating each other."
Blinking back tears in his macho man act, Xander gave her a wobbly smile, and his heart soared when she returned it, an honest to goodness smile, with lose hidden somewhere beneath the surface.
Giles watched Buffy and Willow from afar, leaning against the doorframe, unwilling to break into whatever conversation they were having for fear that it might undo whatever had been done to make her smile and talk, things she hadn't done in far too long.
This was his family, he realized. This dysfunctional group of people, demons, and mystical balls of energy.
They had all grown so much since the when they first met. They'd grown up in too short a time, but they had turned out all right after all.
He smiled inwardly.
Family.
Dawn sat at the top of the steps, observing everyone with interest, and grinning.
Something magical had happened that day.
People came together, things began to right themselves. It would be a long time before anything was the way it was, but it was the best start she could have hoped for.
On a quiet street in Sunnydale, life began again.
Somewhere in LA, a father and a son began the long road to a relationship they had missed out on so many times.
And lost inside his mind, somewhere in a hell that he'd created, a forsaken Englishman screamed.
"Do you think she's ready?" Xander whispered to Buffy, watching Giles hold her arm as he helped her from the car.
"I don't know," Buffy said honestly. "I really don't. But she wanted to come, and I guess maybe she needs to."
Dawn looked knowingly at her sister and nodded despite the fact that no one had asked her. Buffy was right. It was the same way when their mom had died. Going to the grave had hurt more than anything she could imagine, but she needed to do it. Doing it gave her a small sense of relief; it started the healing process.
Willow, clad in a long dark green skirt and a white peasant top, held tightly to Giles' arm, swaying unsteadily at the gates to the cemetery.
None of them had been too keen about her visiting a grave at night, not in Sunnydale, but the fact of the matter was, Willow wasn't ready to see her friends, let alone any of the other people she'd tried to annihilate.
Buffy stepped forward, handing her the bouquet of white roses Will had picked out. "Want us to go with you?"
Willow sniffed and replied in that small voice she had adopted, "No…no I want to go alone."
At their nods, she began the long arduous walk to Tara's grave.
Once she was out of their view she allowed a few tears to cascade down he cheeks, and by the time she was kneeling, setting down the flowers, she was bawling quietly.
"I loved you so much, Tara," she sobbed. "Goddess, I loved you. I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry!"
"I heard Tinkerbell was…" Spike's soft voice approached. "I just didn't know it was true."
Willow looked up, but once she saw who it was, turned back to the grave, not caring that he was supposed to be dust touching the grass lightly, still crying. "She…she…I never got a chance to tell her how much I loved her."
Spike knelt and laid a hand on her shoulder. When she didn't meet his gaze he lifted her chin with gentle fingers. "She knows, Red."
"How can you know that?" she contested angrily. "You're a vampire."
He cringed. "I know that, luv, because I know a thing or two about love. Thing I know best, is that when you really love a person - love 'em like you two loved each other- it's not about the 'I love you's'. It's about this," he said somberly, placing a hand over her heart. "It's a feeling so deep you can't ignore it no matter how much you try, no matter how much you want to. It's deeper than flesh and bones and blood. It's in the soul. It's forever. Eternal."
She let out a tortured whimper.
"Death can't stop love," he told her sincerely.
"I miss her so much!" she exploded in tearful moans.
"She knows that, too," Spike told her. "And she's missin' you, too. But there's nothing you can do about that…except wait to be together when it's time."
"What if I don't wanna wait for time?" she spat. "What if I want it to be now? What if I ended it myself?"
He looked her in the eye. "S'not the way. What would Tara think?"
Willow softened at her love's name, but sneered. "What's one more thing? I tried to end the world."
"And I'm damn glad you didn't," he said, forcing her again to look at him. "And you think she wouldn't be glad about that? That there was something, whatever it was, inside you that wouldn't let you?"
She didn't answer.
"That's the Willow she loved. Kind and gentle little girl who wouldn't want to hurt anyone," he told her.
"But I did want to hurt them," she said. "I wanted to kill them all!"
"It was the magick," he guessed, and knew he was right by the look in her eyes. "That's what happened, innit?"
She nodded.
"Magick's a powerful thing, Red. But I'm sure you know that. And I'm sure you know that sometimes the dark magick can take you over, playing on your emotions until you're not yourself," he said, remembering something he'd seen before, a man totally possessed by the Black magick. "Know what else? Tara knows that too. She'd only care that you stopped. She'd love you for stopping. She'd forgive you."
Willow sobbed out loud again, tears coming back full force.
Spike stood up, drawing back his hands. "Now all you have to do is forgive yourself."
"How?" she asked, looking up.
"I wouldn't know," he said grimly. "All I know is it's not gonna be easy, and it's not gonna be quick. But you've got your friends. They'll help you. And you've got her, inside you."
She smiled for the first time, looking at the roses on the bright green grass. When she looked up to say something, to thank him, he was gone, almost as if he'd never been there at all.
In his place, a glimmer of light in the darkness, and an unmistakable face, a smile she would have recognized if she were blind.
And she didn't cry at the sight, because she read the smile as well as she did when Tara was alive. Tara understood. And she forgave.
Willow returned the smile.
"What's taking her so long?" Anya asked, looking at her watch. "I've got to get back to the Magic Box for inventory."
"Relax, An," Xander said softly. "This is…delicate."
Anya, not fully getting the big deal, was quiet, because Xander spoke to her like nothing had happened between them, and it had been awhile since that had happened.
"Do you think anything's wrong?" Dawn asked warily. "It's nighttime and all."
Buffy had already worried over this, and that made the worry even worse. "That's it, I'm going in there."
Not a second after the words left her mouth, Willow came into view, standing up straighter, and walked from the gates back to the friends that loved and accepted her no matter what.
"Will?" Buffy and Xander asked together.
She gave them the biggest smile she could muster. It wasn't a full fledged smile, but it wasn't a frown, either. That was all that mattered.
"What do you think happened in there?" Anya asked Xander later as the nursed coffee at Buffy's kitchen table.
"I don't know," he said, staring past the woman into the living room, where Buffy and Willow were talking- God, actually talking- on the couch. "But whatever it was, I'm not complaining."
"You really love her, don't you?" Anya said softly, staring at her coffee as she stirred it.
Xander looked at her, waiting until she looked up to see if he would answer, catching her gaze. "There aren't a lot of people in this world I can say I love, and there are probably less that love me back. So when I say I love you…I mean it."
She blinked a few times, then looked away.
"I mean it, An," he told her, swallowing hard.
"You're wrong, you know," she said softly, staring at the clock on the wall as it ticked away.
"About what?" he asked, furrowing his brow.
"There are a lot of people who love you," she clarified.
"Not a lot," he argued.
"Enough," she said, finally looking in his eyes. "We both said and did a lot of things, Xander. Bad things, wrong things…but that's no reason to start hating each other."
Blinking back tears in his macho man act, Xander gave her a wobbly smile, and his heart soared when she returned it, an honest to goodness smile, with lose hidden somewhere beneath the surface.
Giles watched Buffy and Willow from afar, leaning against the doorframe, unwilling to break into whatever conversation they were having for fear that it might undo whatever had been done to make her smile and talk, things she hadn't done in far too long.
This was his family, he realized. This dysfunctional group of people, demons, and mystical balls of energy.
They had all grown so much since the when they first met. They'd grown up in too short a time, but they had turned out all right after all.
He smiled inwardly.
Family.
Dawn sat at the top of the steps, observing everyone with interest, and grinning.
Something magical had happened that day.
People came together, things began to right themselves. It would be a long time before anything was the way it was, but it was the best start she could have hoped for.
On a quiet street in Sunnydale, life began again.
Somewhere in LA, a father and a son began the long road to a relationship they had missed out on so many times.
And lost inside his mind, somewhere in a hell that he'd created, a forsaken Englishman screamed.
