Disclaimer-I don't own "The Faculty" and I don't own
anything that has to do w/ it.

Summary- A parody. Basic same plot but lotz of diffs, including
names. So enjoy!

A/N-I wrote this kind of as a script cuz I plan on making a movie
out of it w/ my camcorder.Enjoy!
Oh yeah, and instead of the major spory being football,
it's golf!

The Staff: A spoof of the Faculty.

Scene 1-

Int. Grass.
Club comes up and hits the ball resting on a tee
out of sight.

Diff. Angle

Golfer.

Coach- This time hit the ball! Aaarrrgh!

Practice is over.

Focus on golfers walking away.

Coach- Steve, I hope tommorrow you'll be able to hit the
ball!

Steve looks back.

Camera back on the coach.

Coach knocks over golf clubs. He's picking up the excess
golf balls on the ground. His back is toward the camera.
We see a shadow coming up behind him. But we don't see who it is.

Coach- Look, I'm tired. Who is it?

Coach turns around.

Coach- What?

Fade out....

Scene 2-

Focus on papers on a table.

Move camera up to focus on Pricipal Sanders.

Principal Sanders- Mr. Mange, no way can we afford to in-
stall a crazy slide in the teacher lounge. The pool already set
us back a couple thousand. And Mr. Constipated no super duper
big screen t.v.s. You'll have to get your own cable.

Mr. Constipated- Poopy.

Principle Sanders- And Ms. Reubella, no 32,000 dollar
raise.Get real.

Mr. Mange- Get bent.

Principle Sanders- What was that?

Mr. Mange- Nothing.I bet the golf team get their new clubs and fuzzy hats w/
the littles balls on top, Principle Sanders.

Principle Sanders- Yes, they will, Mr. Mange.
Because this is a golf town and that what the parents want,
and that what the schoolboard wants in the name of education.

Int. Leaving the building

Ms. Reubella-(to Principal Sanders) you know, we really only need one raise.
Mine. Think about it.

Principal Sanders- I will. Oh, shoot, I forgot some
completely pointless item, so I have to go get it, which
will probably result in me getting killed, because this is
a horror movie spoof.

Ms. Reubella- Well, goodnight.

Principle Smallpox enters the build and makes it the empty office. She ponders
what to get. She finally grabs a book. She turns around to face Coach Distemper.

Coach Distemper- Hello, Principle Smallpox. You look totally ugly
in that dress.

Principle Smallpox- Goodnight Coach.

She tries to get past him.

He moves in her way.

Coach- I need to borrow (looks around) that ridiculousy
pointy knife on your desk for the obvious reasons.

Principle Smallpox hands him the knife.

Principle Smallpox- Goodnight.

Coach taps her w/ the knife on her hand.

Principle Smallpox- Oh, oww. It hurts. Why did you do that.
You must be crazy. Oh, now I have to run.

She runs from the office, into the hallway. She runs into an office.
The coach is right after her. She sees that there is no door. The coach is closing in.
She grabs a frying pan . He is right in front of her. She hits him on the head w/ the frying pan.

Coach- Ow.

She runs out of the office and to the door.

Ms. Reubella is at the door.

Ms. Reubella- I forgot my frying pan!

Principle Smallpox-Um,the Coach has it right now.

Coach appears at the other end of the hallway.

Ms. Reubella- He's here.

Principle Smallpox- Eeeek.

Coach- You forgot your frying pan!

Principle Smallpox- You can keep it!
Scene 3-

View off middle school.

Pan down.
View of kids walking around outside the building.
Camera focuses and follows one kid. The kid the kid turns
around. While looking the other way

Coach is closer.

Open the lock and slips out just as the coach gets to the door.

While the principle regains composure, we see the coach slip
Ms. Reubella the frying pan. The Principle looks up at Ms. Reubella.
Ms.Reubella hits her with the frying pan.

Ms. Reubella- I really wanted that raise.

Title appears: THE STAFF