A/n: hey! ::waves:: I fixed this a little after I was notified that my
paragraphs were all screwy. Thank you to whoever the reviewer was because I
didn't know, something funky happened. So yah, thanks! I have more
chapters to upload but don't want to do it until there may be a little more
interest in the story, if any. So let me know and I'll update (hopefully I
can figure it out to get everything right this time.I don't promise
anything.
Unfortunately these lovely characters and all other amazing works that come across in this story are not mine.
June 8th, 1979 - the day the love of my life was born. Sixteen years after that day I realized it. It happened in the winter months of my junior year in high school. A friend of mine introduced us and we instantly clicked. We had the same taste in music, movies, and had similar thoughts and opinions. I swear we would have been together from that moment on if there was not such a huge challenge---literally. He lived in a different state. We mailed each other as much as we could afford stamps. Occasionally we even spoke on the phone for hours, without our parents knowing of the long distance of course. We went through sporadic but too often of times where we did not talk for months. Let me tell you, they were agonizing, but the reuniting was memorable.
He was the only one who even remotely cared about what I was feeling, when I actually told him. Even then I was stubborn. But on top of that he actually *understood*. It was then I realized that we shared something deeper, more intense. I realized what that feeling was when I discovered some things about myself. I knew that Mark was bisexual from the start, he was very open and proud about it. in a sense I always knew I was too. "Tear down the walls, aren't we all?" that is what Mark constantly said. I guess you could call it his philosophy in life. I should have figured it out when I was more attracted to my girlfriend at the time's brother than I was to her. I just pushed it out of my mind and said it was all part of growing up. All that doesn't matter now. Mark is in my life. The one that I dreamt about, laughed with, and even possibly cried over is finally here in real life. Getting to this point wasn't easy though. We decided as best friends at this point that we would live together as "bohemians" in good ol' NYC.
Meeting him for the first time.no emotion is strong enough to describe how I actually felt. Over time I developed a strong attraction to him but never told him of course. I never even admitted it to myself. . I had a band, friends, girlfriends, and a good sex life.why would I screw that up and let people know I was gay? I wish I did. I was more confused about my sexuality than him. I would have rather wanted to be with a guy but when I was with girls I was certainly turned on. It screwed with my head. I denied it and denied it for years because I was afraid and mostly didn't want to be rejected by Mark. I'd never had a relationship with another guy but I don't need to know what its like in order to know that it was always Mark that I wanted. It was him in my dreams and that is the only thing they were at the time. He never even knew that I considered dating guys. So I did what I thought I had to do and threw away whatever it was that I felt for him until the day that we first met eye to eye. I picked him up at his house in Scarsdale with nothing more than my guitar in the back seat of my shitty car. I rang the doorbell of the two-story house. I have never felt so nervous in my life. I almost passed out right then while waiting to see him finally. It was seriously magical when he opened the door after what seemed like forever. All of the fear and anxiety was replaced with awe stricken excitement. I still remember it perfectly; me stumbling over my words, him fidgeting with his hands, it is still so clear.
"M-Mark?" I stuttered.
"Hey Roge." He responded to calm. I don't know how he stayed so cool, I could hardly breathe! It was then I noticed I was being videotaped and that made me smile to cover up how uncomfortable I felt.
"You never do leave that camera do you?" He looked at me and laughed while picking up his bags by the door.
"Nope, I told you the truth.well most of it." That last part was mumbled but I didn't even notice it at the time due to my concentration on him just *being* there.
We left and I took his two small bags and shoved them into the back seat accompanying my guitar case. I got into the driver seat and glanced at mark sitting timidly with his camera and hands on his lap. A heavy wave made its way through my body and that was when I knew. This was definitely love.
Over time the feelings grew for him even more. I had girlfriends to get rid of any suspicion there may have been. I loved them so much, I won't deny that. As cliché as it sounds I just wasn't complete. The one who I really wanted to be with I didn't think I could. I have never been so wrong.
Unfortunately these lovely characters and all other amazing works that come across in this story are not mine.
June 8th, 1979 - the day the love of my life was born. Sixteen years after that day I realized it. It happened in the winter months of my junior year in high school. A friend of mine introduced us and we instantly clicked. We had the same taste in music, movies, and had similar thoughts and opinions. I swear we would have been together from that moment on if there was not such a huge challenge---literally. He lived in a different state. We mailed each other as much as we could afford stamps. Occasionally we even spoke on the phone for hours, without our parents knowing of the long distance of course. We went through sporadic but too often of times where we did not talk for months. Let me tell you, they were agonizing, but the reuniting was memorable.
He was the only one who even remotely cared about what I was feeling, when I actually told him. Even then I was stubborn. But on top of that he actually *understood*. It was then I realized that we shared something deeper, more intense. I realized what that feeling was when I discovered some things about myself. I knew that Mark was bisexual from the start, he was very open and proud about it. in a sense I always knew I was too. "Tear down the walls, aren't we all?" that is what Mark constantly said. I guess you could call it his philosophy in life. I should have figured it out when I was more attracted to my girlfriend at the time's brother than I was to her. I just pushed it out of my mind and said it was all part of growing up. All that doesn't matter now. Mark is in my life. The one that I dreamt about, laughed with, and even possibly cried over is finally here in real life. Getting to this point wasn't easy though. We decided as best friends at this point that we would live together as "bohemians" in good ol' NYC.
Meeting him for the first time.no emotion is strong enough to describe how I actually felt. Over time I developed a strong attraction to him but never told him of course. I never even admitted it to myself. . I had a band, friends, girlfriends, and a good sex life.why would I screw that up and let people know I was gay? I wish I did. I was more confused about my sexuality than him. I would have rather wanted to be with a guy but when I was with girls I was certainly turned on. It screwed with my head. I denied it and denied it for years because I was afraid and mostly didn't want to be rejected by Mark. I'd never had a relationship with another guy but I don't need to know what its like in order to know that it was always Mark that I wanted. It was him in my dreams and that is the only thing they were at the time. He never even knew that I considered dating guys. So I did what I thought I had to do and threw away whatever it was that I felt for him until the day that we first met eye to eye. I picked him up at his house in Scarsdale with nothing more than my guitar in the back seat of my shitty car. I rang the doorbell of the two-story house. I have never felt so nervous in my life. I almost passed out right then while waiting to see him finally. It was seriously magical when he opened the door after what seemed like forever. All of the fear and anxiety was replaced with awe stricken excitement. I still remember it perfectly; me stumbling over my words, him fidgeting with his hands, it is still so clear.
"M-Mark?" I stuttered.
"Hey Roge." He responded to calm. I don't know how he stayed so cool, I could hardly breathe! It was then I noticed I was being videotaped and that made me smile to cover up how uncomfortable I felt.
"You never do leave that camera do you?" He looked at me and laughed while picking up his bags by the door.
"Nope, I told you the truth.well most of it." That last part was mumbled but I didn't even notice it at the time due to my concentration on him just *being* there.
We left and I took his two small bags and shoved them into the back seat accompanying my guitar case. I got into the driver seat and glanced at mark sitting timidly with his camera and hands on his lap. A heavy wave made its way through my body and that was when I knew. This was definitely love.
Over time the feelings grew for him even more. I had girlfriends to get rid of any suspicion there may have been. I loved them so much, I won't deny that. As cliché as it sounds I just wasn't complete. The one who I really wanted to be with I didn't think I could. I have never been so wrong.
