Tom Riddle and the Secret of Slytherin
Summary: Tom lives a life of and adventure and magic, with his three best friends
In there fifth year at Hogwarts is a rollercoaster ride of Quiddich, new lady professors and true love. Guest Starring Staring Mina Harker, The Spellman Twins, and the Mack Daddy of all witches Marry Poppins.
And miniature Cab Calloway.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Cal Snape, Nick Malfoy, Ellen Gordan are partly the intellectual properties of Elspeth Dixon. Pina Prosperine, Cyrille Lupin, George Potter, Em Gwydion, Verloc Morgenstein
Mary Poppins is the intellectual property of PL Traves
Hilda and Zelda Spellman belong to the WB and Archies Comics
Mina Harker is the property of Brahm Stoker.
Author notes: AIM: Draqonelle
My thanks to Elspeth Dixon and to Jazz. And to all the ickle babies yet to come from JK Rowling. In the next installment Minnie McGonagall,
Lucky Malfoy and Sonny Snape all come into existence… Yes that's right Sonny.
Part One: Home to Hogwarts
It was a hot night when Tom Riddle woke up to the commotion down below his window.
"Wow. Look, Pitch. It's a cat. He's under the woodshed," said Little Arch-ball, as they called him. "Can you get him?"
"Pete got bit."
"Pete is in charge. I don't feel like it."
"But you can gentle him or somefin. Pete's just make it worse." Davey Drippin tugged on his arm.
"Pete says he's getting his (Brit gun) to blast it's bloody head off."
They brought Tom down to the toolshed, where Pete and Sidney were clutching bleeding cuts.
"Crikey. You chaps all right?"
"That thing ain't human!" They shook their heads.
Tom knelt down. A dirty cat cowered in the corner, muddy and grey.
"That thing's bloody starvin. He'll take off your ear if you get too close," Sidney grumbled.
"That's it. We've got to get him out here." Pete grabbed a log "I'm going to bash that thing."
Tom shouted "You can't."
The boys looked at him. What had he said. He covered his mouth. Or could have. This was already July and he'd managed to avoid Pete's thrashings.
"I says we got to get that thing over here. And Pitch here says different."
"It's just a cat." Tom said looked at all the eyes.
"Well if you think it's just a cat."
"I'm not going down there. You're the ones who want it gone."
"We'll give you ten seconds Riddle I'm going to wallop you with this." Pete says.
"This is how we do things one of us makes a decision and we all follow it."
"Make Pitch get it."
Such peer pressure had always worked before. Yet in a few scant years away at school and Tom knew it was just hopeless bullying.
"Who wants to see Tom get the cat."
Tom looked at them all. He couldn't take them all."
"All right. Just to prove to you we don't need to kill anything."
Tom crawled underneath the shed. The older boys rolled their eyes.
"That looks like one of Mrs. Pembroke's Wirehairs. Hello Cat."
The cat relented. Let the hand touch his head once. Then the second time, the cat swatted him with a wide claw.
Tom didn't let up. He grabbed it by the scruff of the neck, then quickly lifted it.
"Quick, a blanket. We ought to gentle him.
Little Arch-ball grabbed a potato sack.
Tom completely swaddled the cat before it stopped struggling.
"Huh fat one, you is… You are. You are very fat."
"You are? Course you is mate." Pete scrunched up his eyebrows.
"'You is' ain't right. It is you are. That's the right grammar… you know. The educated way to speak."
"I don' get it." Davey said.
"I'm trying to improve myself. It ain't right to talk that way. You think the lord mayor talks that way?" Tom said, as elegantly as one can while holding a cat in a sack.
"Well you just mind yourself, Pitch. You don't need to be talking like you are someone." Pete snorted, "Since when are you Neville Chamberlain?"
"I could be anything I want. Just as long as I listen to the nuns and do my homework."
"Schools messed you up, Riddle."
"Come on. Prince Charming is missing his mum."
The nasty black kitten scratched and squirmed in the blanket, like a mummy at the museum.
The two littlest boys had been sent with him to drop of the cat.
"Ma'am. Ma'am. Is this your Kitten?"
"I don't know." The old fishwife shook her head, "Why don't you boys just run along? I got bigger things to worry about."
"We found him behind the wood shed. And we wanted to give him back." Tom said.
"Fine… Fine. Now get lost."
Tom was well accustomed to that fine sentiment. When he just wanted to get away.
Tom walked into the room.
"Ma'am, are you alright?"
"Oh it's been so tough to keep them fed. What with the rationing. Not enough rats in the world to feed them."
The kittens mewed loudly.
A golden kitten jumped onto the stove.
"Shoo shoo."
The kitten tried to move the tea cup towards her."
"Don't think that'll work on me you ragged little…"
She pulled the cup to her.
"Thank you." The fishwife sat down, "My word. She always knows what I need. Always looking for a handout. She's always doing such strange things. She brings me my slippers. Ever heard such a cat doing that?"
Tom looked at her. How did the cat know the woman needed a tea break? The little boys hadn't been so astute.
"Is that your cat's kitten too?"
"Oh that one. I don't get it. Millie must have been running with a wicked Tom. All her precious ones are black. but that one... It's red. There ain't no red tom in this entire block. She's also silky."
The kitten mewed stood up.
"Where on Earth?"
The woman took the honey pot.
Tom laughed "I never seen a cat so smart."
"All her litter died when this heat came. But she's still hale and hardy. Sat under my ice box."
"Can I hold her?"
"Sure. Knock yourself silly."
Tom smiled. The cat's fur was glossy and gilded. It felt like a cotton pillow. He kissed her nose.
"She's perfect. Hello Kitty!"
"That one you like?" The fishwife said "You just gave me back one."
"I think they are all cute. But…"
"You take me as a queer kind of fellow yourself. I think she's too strange for my taste."
"Extraordinary." Tom corrected.
"Well if your home has rats, take her. She's no kind of pedigree. A golden cat? Polydactus had silver fur."
The kitten kissed him.
"I'm gonna call her Ginger." Tom let her lick his nose.
Tom came back outside, coddling the kitten.
"I thought you didn't like cats." Davey said.
"But she's so nice." Tom cooed like an idiot.
"So, there's no reward?" Arch ball frowned.
"This is Ginger."
"A kitten, Tom? I'm talking scratch. She didn't even get you a shilling. How you going to feed a little kitten? You can't barely get no books or anything."
"I don't smoke all day and waste all my money on booze. I'm allergic."
Tom let Ginger jump in the window.
"You are a smart kitty, Ginger cat. Yes you are."
Tom carried Ginger into the dormitory in his pocket.
The cat made a bee-line for the shadows underneath the bed.
The she darted out. She looked again.
"That's where you sleep. I'm sorry, I don't have a blanket or nothing."
The cat crawled under again.
"What you got there?"
Tom froze. Somehow the dumb cat had found the one thing he was trying to hide.
The 15 inch wand lay between her teeth.
This was his source of his power. His only way to do magic.
For Tom Riddle was not your typical boy after all.
He was a wizard.
"How in the hell did you find that? It was locked in my steamer trunk."
Tom grabbed her. And looked under the bed. The cat had somehow popped the locks. Tom shook his head.
"The only thing that could open that was alohmora spell. No one could break in. But…
The cat looked up at him with accusatory green eyes.
"Well, I guess…I've got something to show you. I hope you aren't too skeptical either."
The cat lifted her head elegantly, as if she were a princess watching a command performance.
"Why am I saying all this? You're just an old alley cat. Are you?"
Tom clutched his wand
"Spectacular Luminositos"
Green sparks jumped out of the wand. The cat sat up.
"See, you know what I am? I'm a wizard Ginger and you might as well know that now. I can't do any real magic. I go to school at Hogwarts. And when I graduate well, then I'll do magic whenever I need to."
The cat seemed to understand him. She could look him right in the eyes and know what he was talking about. He'd never seen such an animal. He rarely got such eye contact from his human friends. She was listening to his every word.
"So will you keep it… I mean you can't talk… You'll keep it a secret?"
Then she nodded.
Tom startled. The cat couldn't have nodded. She just bobbed her head.
"And you understand me?"
The cat tilted her head as if to roll her eyes.
"Oh My God. You can talk?"
The cat stared at him.
"Okay If you can understand me meow."
"Meoaw."
He jumped.
"Twice. Meaow twice."
"Meaow…"
The cat looked at the eager human, as if she could feel his frustration and loneliness and power. He wanted her to continue. He wanted her to meow again. "Meaow."
"You can talk."
The radio sounded off.
The cat brushed against the radio as…
""
Thank you Walter Winchell
Tom got a chill down his spine.
The cat looked at him and began freaking out. Her back bristled. She spat looking into his face.
"Yes. Another attack. I'm not coming back for Christmas."
"Meow" Ginger forced his way into his lap.
"I see now. You don't talk. You just read my mind. You know what I'm feeling."
The cat moved closer.
"Not what I'm thinking but what I mean. What I'm –"
Tom closed his eyes and thought of the night. The wood wagon, the rain and the noise…
The cat backed off and shrieked. Ran away.
Tom startled back. He hadn't shared that with anyone else. There were no words for that night. The night he was kicked out of his old home.
"Okay, Something more cheerful."
He thought of the picnic lunch on Hogwarts grounds. The strange little house elves had overstuffed the backets with food. Bologna sandwitches and marshmallow moon pies and pumpkin juice. Apples and sherbert balls with clotted cream. And all his friends playing Gnome Alone.…
Ginger pet his hand. She had returned by his side.
"I think that's what is happening. If you could speak English then you'd hear the radio too."
Tom picked her up and set her on his chest.
"I wonder if Mr. Dumbledore would know anything about special cats."
"You're a good cat though. I wish you could talk. You might be a familiar."
The kitten shrugged.
"That's just a very special kind of friend. Could always use another one."
That night Tom related the events in a letter.
And the mails weren't working. He wouldn't expect Dumbledore to get it.
He looked out the window at the sooty London night
"He'll never get it until fall."
The cat ran to the opposite window.
When he saw an owl.
Miss Cauldwell was receiving an owl post. But she was on a Sunday drive since Friday. She was the only witch even neighboring St. Brutus's Institute for Wayward boys.
The tawny owl knocked on the door.
"Nice thinking, Ginger. I didn't think you had familiar blood."
The tawny began to pace. He didn't seem very bright.
Tom wondered if there was some owl.
"Hey owl. What's your name?"
Tom didn't know anything about owls. They might as well be goblins. He couldn't begin to figure out how to handle one. Ginger Cat rubbed against his leg.
Then it happened. Tom could see everything. But from the blurred vision of the sky. He was frustrated and wanted a caper and a nap, then he wanted to go chase some bats. But no he had to fly to London for the woman and she had to send out the-
Tom seemed to read the owl's thoughts. Could this be another feature of Ginger?
"On my wrist."
The owl seemed to listen to him.
He looked at the tag on his foot "Ramses III, Care of Diana McGonagall—"
Yes, that was a girl in Hufflepuff. She was that Artemisia McGonagall's twin sister. Tom knew Artemesia by reputation. The only threat to the Slytherin Quidditch team.
"You're a McGonagall owl. Do you know Albus Dumbledore? He's the Transfiguration Teacher."
The owl began bobbing.
"Yes. You do. I think you do."
"Could you do a bloke a favor? Miss Caudwell is away with her beau Sigmund Longbottom. They went to Kensington Park on a Sunday drive."
The owl began to flutter.
"No wait. Can't you just stay one minute."
The owl rolled his head.
"Please. I don't have a friend in the world. I'm an orphan you see. And Mr. Dumbledore is my favorite teacher. I never had a bloke who cared so much about me. Like I was his son."
The owl bristled. He hated using the speech on a dirty owl. But after the crocodile tears the owl reluctantly stuck out his foot. Ramses let Tom tie on the letter. It was one thing to turn on the tears to get food but another to talk to a silly bird.
Ramses the third stretched his wings and flew Eastward. Into the night sky.
Tom marked a day off his summer calendar and pet the cat. He would steal her something in the morning.
***
Three days later, a Hogwarts owl, a grey barn owl, dropped the letter on the sill.
Actually it was no where near the sill. Ginger actually caught it between her claws, before it fell into the gutter.
"She has a letter." Arch ball said amazed.
"That ole cat is playing with moonbeams on the sill."
"Kids imagination…"
Tom lifted her by the scruff. and squeezed her in his arms.
"She's been here for a week and no one found her. She's sneaky and smart." Davey said.
"Just like Pitch."
The cat could have seemed excited, if it weren't such a unfeline emotion. But she was a kitten. She nudged Tom assertively to read.
Dear Thomas
There is an unbelievable that you have found a familiar cat. Unbelievable because a true familiar cat is such a rarity. True familiars or first familiars as they are called are not hard distinguish from your garden variety pet. They are truly magical creatures and may live as long as a wizard, connected by friendship and magic. First Familiars are the magical companions of their wizard.
Familiar cats have extraordinary births, which Augurs, diviners and Mystics read to indicate fortunes. That she has survived shows an extraordinary character.
The telepathy is a unique feature for the familiar cat. Cats are independent and not eager to serve man in explanations. But your cat seems to genuinely care, which is rare. But I don't doubt that even in this short time she has grown attached to you. You are very special person. So I would not doubt your familiar would share such qualities as your cunning and bravery.
When she returns with you to Hogwarts the matter should be investigated further. I can't wait to see you. I hope Mrs. Poppins sends you the reading list.
The next was a letter from Deputy Head Mistress Harker
Dear students
Deputy Headmistress
Mina Harker
"How's that. Orphan and magical. You've got to come with me."
Tom let the kitten rest on his lap.
"Look mate. Take the cat to school. She in't any body whose not you. Mean old kitten she is."
Tom pet the cat.
"We're going home."
***
It was a glorious morning in August when he woke.
He sprung up in the air. He drug his steamer trunk from under the bed and dusted it off.
"Mr. Riddle."
He had hoped he could avoid a confrontation with Mother Mary Katherine Bixby.
Father Bunting smiled.
"Off you go today."
"We will not see you until the summer."
"God be with you Tom." Bunting smiled, "Can I help you with your trunk?"
"Oh"
"You'd do better to focus on your own soul. To think about your soul."
"A school with no Chaplain to protect the moral health of its boys. Unthinkable."
"Oh Tom goes to Chapel in the city. With that lovely Father what's his name. You see him every week. Tom wouldn't miss chapel."
"I don't approve of such a place. A school which ignores the spiritual health of it's students. Co-educational. Had you a god fearing parent, they'd snatch you from such a place."
"I want no business from Hogwarts. If I hear from Father Mordred that you should miss one mass. I will intervene."
"You may go."
"Thank you Mother Mary Katherine.
**
Tom walked straight into the Rusty Cauldron. Oh how awful he felt for missing mass so many times. He had taken communion three times. Hogsmeade had no churches. The Father Mordred just a ruse to confuse Mother Mary Katherine and Father Bunting.
He saw them crowding in front of Ollivander's, Caligula had gotten so bored he climbed the pole. Mung sat in the gutter sighing, and as Malfoy was trying not to get his robe dirty.
"Hey mates. How does it go?"
They looked up "TOM!"
All the boys of Slytherin house, except one. Tom was too happy for words as his true friends crowded around him. Dog piling him this time
"Tommy, you old bastard." Mung squeezed him "Well, look who survived the dynamite town."
"Still in one piece. Gerry didn't get you down mate."
"Gerry didn't even make in dent in this tough SOB." Cal smiled and slung his arm around Tom's shoulders.
"Gerry will never bomb the Cockney heart outta London, eh?"
Tom shrugged them all off. "I don't die and that makes me a hero now? You Purebloods are cracked."
"Don't let the Muggles get you down, mate. They'll be finished any day now." Cal said.
"Hey mates. I found a familiar." Tom said.
"No. Your people got you a toad?"
"No... I found her. She's wonderful." Tom lifted up the cat that meowed.
"A cat?" The boys looked at each other.
"How… nice."
Immediately Nicholas Malfoy changed the subject, grabbing Tom at the shoulders.
"Mung's got a new familiar too. Wait till you see his toad. It is so cool. Slimy and stuff." Nick interrupted him.
"Yeah, great."
"My Dad said I can't have an owl anymore after the whole Arithmancy Finals scam. And the bit with the candy, and the time I mailed Miss Sprout's underwear to-"
"I thought that was Miss Spellman's." Tom crossed his arms
"My parents are so square. I just want some cash." Mung crossed his arms.
"I guess this is going to put a cramp on your money making schemes." Tom said.
"I could always sell toad slime to first years." Mung's eyes lit up.
"Watch them get doped up." Tom sniggered
"Wicked. I'm in." Cal chuckled.
"Oh, you guys." Malfoy whined. "Do we have to lose any more house cups to this stuff? Mung, you can't." Nick tugged on Mung's coat.
"Oh, you apple polishing brown noser. I didn't mean it." Tom rolled his eyes.
"Tom has a good point." Mung said
hugging his Cockney pal.
"Tom always has a good
point. But he's the reason you don't
have an owl." Malfoy said, "You listen
to Tom all the day. You
too, Cal. Well, well I'm not falling
for it. You're not talking me into
anything crazy, Voldemort."
"A calm fly shoo in."
Stop it you two freaks."
"Pagan Cal I sue!"
"Uggh they talking like demons again."
"Feh." Cal shook his head.
"I can't be doing all these stupid pranks." Malfoy straightened up. "I'm a man now. I'm 16."
"Just cause you got Matilda Appleby to give you her class brooch." Mung said.
Nick turned bright red. "Mung I'm paying you 3 galleons to shut your mouth.
"What? Nick has a girl?" Tom shouted.
"I thought you always said that you said that Matty was a horsefaced Gryffindor." Caligula punched Malfoy on his shoulder
"Stuff it."
"Oh no. You aren't. It's such a cliché. The Bad Boy Slytherin with the Good Girl Gryffindor." Caligula laughed.
"Well, she's not my type." Tom said "It's good that Malfoy has found someone who raises her hand more than he does."
"And those horrid teeth. Look like a picket fence." Caligula stuck out his front teeth.
"
"Don't say such things. She's the brightest girl in class. Her teeth aren't as bad as Mung's."
The boys laughed.
"I heard she pals about with the Golden Lions. How can you stand it?" Caligula said.
"Well, it really gets to George Potter. I just focus all my energy on annoying him." Nick grinned.
They laughed.
"Hell, I'd date Horseface Matty to throw a few shots at Potter." Cal said
It was good to see them all. Even if one of their group was missing. They'd be back together this year, now that they knew Verloc was alive. He'd really thought that Verloc would come to the first day of school. But they would have to return.
All of them were in their fourth year, sorted into Slytherin together, like brothers from day one. Even though Tom was just a half blood, they treated him as if he were… as if he were somebody.
"We've been shopping for the new books. There are so many classes."
Tom looked at the tidy new books. This season there were new potions and Charms text books. Tom couldn't find an Arsenius Jigger level three. And there was a new author, Miss Goshawk. There would be no old copies of her. It had been hard to scrape enough money from Parsonners to buy his new robes.
"I've got it."
"Guess what. We get to go by auto car to the train station. Isn't that ripping?" Malfoy said.
"A muggle car?" Cal asked. He was a pureblood, just like Malfoy. Seeing cars excited them.
"Oh yeah."
"Oh you are so naieve, Nick. My dad has three cars," Mung said. "Even a Buick. That's an American one."
"He got a car from way 'cross the bloody pond?" Tom asked.
"It's his favorite color. Blue." Mung smiled.
"Doesn't he know there is a war going on?" Tom asked. "What kind of cars are these?"
"Compliments of the Ministry of Magic. All you have to do is sign up." Nick said.
The green car pulled up.
They all settled in the car and shut the doors.
Nick grinned gleefully. "You know, us Malfoys don't get this kind of treatment."
"Safety belts, everyone," the driver said.
Caligula and Malfoy looked at each other. Tom rolled his eyes and tied Caligula to his seat while Mung did the same for Malfoy.
"Safety Belt Tom."
Tom shook his head, "No thanks. I don't want to get stuck, pinned into my seat if we crash."
"You're just a ball of sunshine, aren't ya Tom?" Cal crossed his arms.
"Don't ruin it for us Purebloods. Just cause you have all this muggle stuff. I think it's spiffy." Malfoy smiled.
***
They arrived at the Kings Cross Station in the motor car. All the pureblood family from the Merlinsbloods to the Gandywines. Even the Cauldwells and the Diggories arrived by car. The Longbottom Brothers.
One girl exited her own motor car. She snapped her fingers to reduce it.
"Reducio"
Of course she wasn't aware that no muggle would be caught dead in August in goggles hat and a duster, but it was a valiant effort to blend in. Under her driver cap, she had such beautiful hair, curly thick and black, pale skin, under the goggles, limpid black eyes. Of course, there was that regrettable Prosperpine nose. She was Agrippina Proserpine, prefect of Slytherin. She was much taller and two years older than the rest of the seventh years.
She folded her duster until it fit in her pocket, dusted her hands. Then she turned to the Redcap and waved good bye to her owl.
"Oh Orestes. My widdle baby. You be good."
Caligula crossed his arms. "Oh look. It's that Gooney Proserpine. Just cause she has a car…"
"God, she's a tall girl." Mung said "Like Rita Heyword or Dorothy Lamour. I'll bet she could sling me over her shoulder." He sighed.
"That's not our kind of girl," Cal said. "Career witch. Think she's too good to get married. Stuck up. No fortune."
"But her father is rich. He made millions of galleons during-"
"Oh, it's one of those marvelous capitalist success stories. Her father made boat loads of money on muggles. New Money," Cal sneered.
"I'm new money too," Mung sighed. "At least her dad did it in olives. My dad sold U-boats."
"She seems just as rich as the other girls and you do to me." Tom grumbled. "New money's better than no money," Tom said putting his hands in his pockets.
Pina walked along side them, looked down and smirked coolly.
"Nice kitten, Tom. She's such a
sweetie. Domestic
Shorthair or Manx?"
"Uhh…Her name is
Ginger?"
"I guess witches like your familiar." Nick nodded.
Ginger purred at Pina's hand.
"After some of those visions I saw I was worried you weren't coming back to us, Tom. I wrote to you. Is the mail still so very bad?"
"Well Orestes never showed up."
"Well she is a snowy owl. Horrible to train."
"Right." Tom chuckled uncomfortably. Pina had always made him uncomfortable. She could read the future, after all.
"Eat any more chickenheads over the summer eh Gooney?" Caligula drawled. The boy just couldn't shut up. He couldn't stand Pina being the center of attention and always had problems with teachers and prefects. The only girl inb charge of him.
"Ah Caligula. So nice of you to alleviate all this tension in the air with a lot of rubbish." Pina rolled her eyes at him.
Caligula frowned.
"It's true what my Master --- said. The shades of darkness shall meet upon the Cross of Kings." Pina was a mystic herself, and had left school to take special training. She studied prophecy all summer in Greece.
"Well, it's so interesting to here what Goony McMysterious thinks." Cal said.
"You be quiet, little man. I've learned every thing Master is a great augur. And a great diviner. He has taken the ill omens in England to provide some insight into Grindewald doings. The birds don't lie."
"Birds? Do you think the birds know what is happening?"
"He is an augur. It's seventh year Divination curriculum. But I learned from the Master. The birds are fleeing the shadow. To the West, for protection."
"Perhaps it's the airplanes and the bombs." Tom cut in.
"The birds know something. They are closer then us to the workings of fate. He said that the war would return. The birds have been violent and mad. Flying all over, avoiding migration paths. Getting lost. Nature is dismayed at all that happens."
"Oh what are you saying? That the birds know about the war? They're just birds." Tom said.
"Well they know what's going on. And they know what Nature is planning for us. They may even know if Grindewald will win or fall." Pina looked down.
"They said that they'll send the Dementors after him if they aren't careful."
"Well there is a war going on."
Tom waited to enter the platform
***
"Roo. Come here now. Say good bye to your papa."
Ebeneezer Hagrid held up his arms. The boy towered over him. This little boy was beardless with a stubbly chin. He should have been a 50 year old weightlifter from his size and was much taller than the man who was supposed to be his father. The "boy" sniffed, crossed his arms and pretended he didn't hear.
"Rubeus. I promise I'll try to be home for Christmas. Now when you make friends at school write me. Write me big long bedsheets. Just like your mummy does."
"I don't write that big. I can't spell good." Roo ground his toe into the ground despondently.
"Well. I gave you that waterproof quill and magic parchment, so it doesn't get wet underwater. I'll tell you about how your cousins in Jotunland are doing. Ashnaketratand Ribornoruskin Gontinficklschtein, Barashkakor. You remember Barashkakor, he's Gimortoralok's son. He's going to be there too. All your mother's children. I'm sure when you get out of school this summer their going to want you to come too."
"I'm not going. Why am I not going?"
"You're too young for a royal council Hagrid."
"Barashkakor is only 20. And his mum has to change his diaper."
Ebeneezer Hagrid continued speaking.
"And did you hear? The Ministry is giving me scuba gear and a wee lil submarine just for me. Just for your old man." Ebeneezer pretended to drive his personal submarine. He honked the horn like it was a car.
Roo chuckled a little.
"That's my boy."
"And Mum. Is she going to be in Jotunland, now? With all my brothers?" He asked.
"Mum is in China. She's getting rocked around by the navy battles. She almost took a Japanese destroyer to the head a month ago. She's real busy trying to keep Jotunland safe. And Ashnaketratand has to fill in for her."
Hagrid sat down on the bunch "Why doesn't Mum ever want to see you? She could let you fill in?"
"Now Roo. You have to understand. Sometimes Mommies and Daddies don't stay in love. And when a Mummy has lots and lots of children it's hard to keep track of them. But I love you very much. And your mother does too."
"Pha. I just wish you and mom can live together. Like it's supposed to be."
"Life isn't supposed to be anyway. It just is. But the good thing is you get to stay with me. You like being on land traveling with me don't you Roo?"
"That's cause I can't breave the water. I'm not like anyone. I'm nbot like my brothers or humans or-" Roo sighed.
"Cothswaddle. Just because You can't 'breave' under the water like all your cousins does that make you a Pudding head. Nope. No sir. You don't get all pruny in the water either. You are a good lad, Rubeus."
"Dad. I don't want to leave yeh. We've been together since I was born."
"Now Roo, You be a good boy for all your teachers. You're eleven, now. Don't you want to go to Hogwarts? And learn magic? Don't you want to be a wizard?"
"I'll be lonely."
"Let me tell you something. I'm a Hufflepuff. Do you know what that means? That means I have strength to carry on. And I'll die for you, Rubeus. I'll do anything to make this world a better place for you. I won't be alone. That is the important thing. Lonely is a feeling. I just won't feel that way. And when this war is over, you'll never feel that way again."
The giant boy picked him off his feet with a huge bear hug.
"Let Daddy breave." Ebeneezer Hagrid choked.
"I'm sorry." Roo said.
"Do you know how much extra I have to love you, Roo?"
"30 kilos?"
"40."
"50?"
"I love you that much and more, Roo." He got a little weepy.
"Bye Daddy."
***
They had staked out a car.
"Me and Malfoy are heading up the train a bit. Matilda."
Nick began to smile.
"I'm off too. Someone has to bother Malfoy." Mung pulled out a dung bomb.
"Oh and Tom."
Mung cruelly hurled a rock at him. Tom stopped it in mid air.
"Happy Birthday."
"Nice try, suckers," Tom laughed.
"Christ, you could be as good a dueler as Flitwick."
"Every year he beats you." Malfoy shook his head as they walked to the dining car.
Mung laughed "We'll get you some Every flavor beans, Tommy."
He and Cal were in the compartment alone. Cal was his closest friend in all the world.
"Why do you have to be such a ponce? This is the silliest Birthday present I ever gave out. A book. What are you going to do with a book?"
Cal placed the final book in his lap.
"Advanced Principles of Transfiguration. Cal. You got me a new book?" Tom smiled.
Cal rolled his eyes, uncomfortable for the outpouring of gratitude. His parents were not very friendly. They were proper purebloods. Cal smiled and shrugged it off.
"But no. I can't. It's so much."
"I'm good for it, Tom. Stop even talking about it. You need a Goshawk. You should have picked it up last fall."
"Thank you, Cal."
"You get any of my letters this summer?"
"No."
"Well I made double copies with a doubling spell. You can look at them there."
"I'm in a good mood, anyway." Cal smiled "Celia."
"The Hufflepuff. How did you meet a Hufflepuff?"
"You know Kay Carmicheal? They are tight, well they have their own traveling compartment. They asked me to come… visit them." Cal wagged his brows.
"Already on the prowl, Cal?"
"Oh the unconquered territory. You ever date a Hufflepuff, Tom my boy?"
Tom shook his head, "You know I don't date anyone."
"Come on, there are two of them. Two of us."
"I'll read the Goshawk. Just don't make too much of a mess, Snape ole bean"
Tom picked up the book. Ginger curled in his lap.
Mung was running up and down the train, bursting with energy. Malfoy was caught with Matilda, by Miss Sprout, who had had it in for him since the underwear incident. Malfoy was being berated by the tall Hufflepuff professor.
All the while he read, People were waving at Tom through the car. And Ginger slept.
Then at about Cardiff, Tom heard a noise. He could hear the sorrowful whimper seeping into his compartment. He tried to drown out the noise by skimming the Elementary principles of Abiotic Genesis. Death from life. AKA Resurrection and it's universal restrictures and prohibitions.
waaaaablblblbb
To turn something dead. Like meat or rubber into living being. They had only tried it with inanimate objects. Teakettles, footstools, buttons, pins. But all it talked about how it was illegal. He wished there was more information.
Waa blblbbl
"What is that blubbering?"
Algie Longbottom from Ravenclaw poked his head in.
"Oi Riddle. How you doing?"
"Hey Algie. How's Siggy?"
"Cool. Hey He said that anytime you need to borrow his owl it's free. I just wish you could afford one."
Sigmund and Algie Longbottom were identical twins, separated into Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, about as different as you could get. Algie was the best prankster in the entire school and Sigmund was Prefect of Hufflepuff.
"Goshawk. She's amazing. Boy, I'll tell you. You read her over the summer?"
Tom looked at his book he picked up only on the train. He'd been reading for about two hours. "I'm halfway through." He only read about 500 pages.
"That's pretty good for a Slytherin. It's tough. So thick and wordy."
"I don't like business on Abiotic Genesis. I think it's a load of bunk myself."
"I heard Professor Dumbledore won't
even teach us that. He says we'll try to
raise the dead. I heard he knows how to
change bone into flesh. He once changed
a skeleton into a block of wood. One
Halloween he had too much butter beer and made some skeletons he made out of a bench."
Ginger squirmed.
"What's that there?"
"This is Ginger cat. Isn't she cute? I found her."
"Cats are dullsville. You should get a toad. I have two. They are going to be great familiars. You want some Every flavor beans?"
"Oh man." Tom looked at the colorful bits. "Don't you know it Algie? I thought the rationing on candies."
"You've been in Muggle London too long. Not all the wizard companies, besides chocolate frogs, and Sherbet Balls and Sugar Quills and Jelly Slugs and…"
"These are always the best. Bertie Bots. Never know what you are going to get. Once I got Frog legs and dollar bills and Vanilla milkshake and Success in one box."
"I don't like surprises. But this pack is good. Here's a roast beef flavored bean."
Tom felt his tongue fall out of his mouth "No way… Real roast beef. I haven't had that in forever. Not since first year at the graduating feast."
"Muggles don't know about these things. Here, you can have a nibble"
"This is wonderful." Tom smiled, licking his lips
"Don't tell anyone. I'm trying to conserve. I heard that the feast is going to be canceled. We have to stock up on all the food we can. War going on. Here I'll give you bonus. Canned pudding."
Tom held the vanilla colored bean.
"Wow Algie thanks."
Tom rolled the delicious roast beef bean in his mouth.
"Wow, is that a toad, Mung?"
Algie left.
Tom return to his chapter but even then the compartment was full of the noise. The little boy next door was still crying.
"Hey matie? Are you alright?"
Tom opened the door.
Inside was a teacher in a powder blue robe. He was at least taller than Professor Kettleburn. His eyes were shrink wrapped in tears. His big nose was bright red.
"Whoa sorry, sir. I heard a little boy crying and-"
"Sir? I'm not a sir. I'm elefen." His childish voice came out.
Tom shook his head. This wasn't something he saw everyday. He was six feet tall. How could he have such a little boy voice?
"You're eleven?"
"In May."
"I thought you were a teacher."
"My name is Rubeus Hagrid and I live in Cornwall, 14645 Thornycroft Road and my telephone number…"
"I don't think I need your number."
"I'm sorry. It just, you know, your dad tells you that if you get lost in the market place or in the bazaar you're supposed to tell them that. I keep on thinking I'm lost. Like that time in Patagonia, when daddy left me at the llama dealer by accident, cause he thought that I was drving behind him but it really was just the Llama dealer. They don't call him a Shepard on cause he doesn't have sheep. That's before he cut off my beard."
"Right."
"He was so scared, you know. But he says that the Llama dealers wife let me ride them and make goat sweaters. You ever go up missing from yer dad ?"
"In Patagonia?" Tom could only ask.
The boy sighed exasperated, "I just don't have no one. And I… I never been this far from my home and everyone thinks I'm a teacher. And they ask me who I am… and I want my Daddy."
This was no teacher. How embarrassing it must be. Tom held out his hankerchief.
"Have some Bertie Bots?"
"Do you have Strawberry Shortcake?" the boy asked.
"I have pudding." He put the canned pudding in his huge hand.
The huge boy put it in his mouth.
"It's butter." He spat it back into his hanky. "Ewwwwww."
"I thought it was vanilla. Algie's probably been planning that all summer."
"Thank you." Hagrid tried to hand him back his kerchief.
"You all right… Lil guy?"
"No one 'ver called me that." He had stopped crying. Finally Tom let out a cry.
"I'm going back to my seat. So if you get anymore problems just knock on the wall okay, matie?"
"Thank you."
Tom couldn't wait to get out of there. He shuddered at the thought of the big blubbering ball. His great size made him seem even more naieve and immature. Well at least he didn't seem the violent type.
Cal had come back and was peeking out the window by the time he returned.
"You're talking to that moose? Is he friendly?"
"He's alright."
Cal shivered "Did you-you see that big big bloke? He isn't the new Bardcraft teacher is he? I'd hate to get a thrashing in his class."
"No. He's not. He misses his daddy."
"Huh?" that floored him.
"He's a student."
"That is a student?" Caligula arched an eyebrow.
"He's eleven."
"Right?"
Tom flipped through the index of the Goshawk
"What's that, you looking up your favorite spells."
"No, I'm finished."
"You mean it got boring?"
"No, I finished it. Good book."
Cal lifted the book "You're done? You read Miranda Goshawk's Advanced Level 5 spellbook in one sitting?"
"It was interesting. I think I have to read it again. She has some great ideas about liquids and solids."
"But that's the homework book. For the whole year."
"I guess I learned something. I'll just have to see. Maybe I should try it on Cat."
"No. I'm not cleaning that mess up." Caligula flopped on the seat.
Nick and Mung returned, Mung with his toad and an armful of candy. Nick arrived and straightened his spectacles.
"Tom read all of his homework books."
"Good for him. Keep him out of trouble."
"Apple polisher." Tom muttered at Nick. "You didn't do any homework. Your parents are wizards. I would have done homework, if I could."
Nick grabbed his book "I wish I had the idea first. We could get a lot of work done on the train."
"Give me that." Tom stole the book from Nick.
"Arsenius Jigger. Yawn." Caligula fanned himself with the book
"He's a great alchemist. Miss Spellman says he's the brightest mind of the twentieth century next to her own.
"I heard that if you invent your own potion you don't even have to go into class anymore. Mistress Spellman is a pushover. Bit of an old maid. Do anything for the attention. She keeps on trying to teach us all this fascinating muggle stuff too."
"You know what I heard she's leaving. You know what Poppins and the Spellman sisters were up too?" Mung said.
"Professor Poppins? Miss Practically Perfect in Every Way?"
Mung always had the best gossip. They always had great discussions. He knew everything about everyone and made them pay for his silence. Caligula had begun to pay Mung a salary to keep him quiet about all the girls he had been dating on the sly. Even Saintly Nicholas had paid Mung to keep quiet about Darvey, his magic teddy bear. (Which all Slytherin knew about. anyway)
Mung began spinning his tale about their teachers.
"I heard it was the Bardmaster Spellman, not the potions master. They are sisters you know. My Father is on the board of Governors. Yes, Hilda is the busty gal and Zelda is leggy one. So it was Miss Hilda. She made this wild accusation that Poppins stole her magic word."
"Superkalifragilisticexpialodocious? Who would steal that?"
"Oh, come on, everyone knows it's Parsel tongue. From the tongue of the great Hamryad Cobra. Only a parsel tongue would know its meaning."
"Well Spellman and Poppins got into this huge row about it. Mary said she was a no talent know all, and then Hilda turned her ostrich hat into a bag of rotten cabbage. Then they got into this huge brawl. Hat pins in the eyes and tearing and clawing. Her sister says that Mary threw the first punch. Mr. Flitwick said it was Miss Hilda. Headmaster Dippet is thinking of taking Bardcraft out of the curriculum. And firing Poppins. We might get a new head of house."
Caligula began laughing. "Hilda Spellman turned her hat into Cabbage?"
Even Nick was laughing. The idea of their head of house covered in slimy sticky grey cabbage.
"No more Bardcraft? But I was top in the class of Bardcraft. Bardmaster Spellman was beginning to like my ukulele music. " Tom frowned.
"You're top in every class. Man, I would have paid my weight in galleons to see that cat fight. The Spellman twins and Professor Poppins." Cal laughed
"You think Professor Poppins is cute?" Tom asked, agog, "She's like 500."
"You don't? That raven hair, those eyes, those bee stung lips..."
"Yeah. I always thought she was okay. Handsome. But not my type." Tom said.
"What about Hilda Spellman? You could tell her age from her bustline. And whatta cute little rump," Nick said.
"There's too many witch professors." Tom sighed "I missed magic. I didn't get anytime this summer. I was biking all of hell just to make enough for new robes. And the rest of the time I was covering up. Until I found Ginger, I didn't even feel like a wizard. I'll never be ready for the OWLS."
"You'll do fine. Who cares anyway? It's just a test."
"Cal, you've got a lot of weak areas. If you studied hard I'll bet you could get Transfiguration, Charms… You know you're not doing bad in Potions."
"Eww. But I hate that mixing stuff." Cal whined.
"You could always see it as an excuse to hit on the Potionsmistress Spellman? She's so tall." Mung sighed.
"What is it with you and tall women?" Nick asked.
"There has to be some other class I can get an OWL in." Tom wondered.
"Care of Magical Creatures?"
"I don't like those animals. What about Muggle Studies?"
"But Professor Poppins is our head of house."
"That's not cheating. Muggles Studies is important. Especially if it gives me an easy OWL." Caligula grinned.
"There is always Divination. It's a lot of bull sugar." Nick smiled.
"Oh like that fakey Gooney Girl?" Cal said "All the stuff she says is made up. It doesn't mean anything. I'm just not a great wizard."
"You have some skill. You're passing Defense against the Dark Arts."
"We're actually doing something there. I'm so sick of learning," Cal sighed. "I want to go out and change things, Tom. Changing the world. I don't need to take Muggle studies to fix the problems. If we didn't spend so much time thinking about muggles than we wouldn't be in all this trouble. It's muggles that started this war."
"It'd be a great replacement for Bardcraft. Tom would pass with flying colours."
"I don't care about the muggle world." Tom snuggled his legs up to his chest. "Those muggles can just go to hell."
***
A tall young man answered the call. He had stringy hair and a kitten at his heels. He looked at them all.
"I'm Argus Filch, Groundskeeper and Keeper of Keys. First years follow me."
Rubeus Hagrid waddled to the front of the line.
"Are you sure, mac?"
"I'm eleven." Rubeus began to cry again.
"No mate don't cry. Cor Blimey." Filch rolled his eyes.
"Look, Tom," Cal smirked. "Filch has a kitten too. Maybe you could share tips."
"Maybe not." Tom said.
They walked into the great hall. The whole thing hexed to look like the night sky in a meteor shower.
"Mr. Dumbledore isn't here."
"Mr. Dumbledore is greeting all the first years. Remember?"
"The sorting ceremony is always after the great feast. What's going on?"
"In honor of our men at the front, brave young soldiers fighting foreign wizard and dastardly muggles we have canceled the Great Feast. Let us have a moment of silence."
The sorting ceremony. He'd missed the ceremony last year, after the incident with the Dark Gryffin. Come to think of it, what with one thing and another, he hadn't seen the sorting ceremony since first year.
This time Tom wasn't listeing . The only new students he was interested in were the ones who got in Slytherin. Kay Carmicheal's sister. Barabara Diggory. A few of the Cauldwells. No McGonagalls this year.
Then the highpoint of the ceremony when Rubeus Hagrid broke the stool, and burst into tears when the Hat was put on his head. He, of course, was put into Gryffindor while most of the Slytherins chuckled.
George Potter, one of the Gryffindor Beaters, snorted at him.
The huge boy gulped "Sir"
"This seat's taken." George stretched out. Ellen Gordon chuckled, braying like a mule. She was the other beater—the two of them were the Captains of the Golden Lions. Matilda Appleby opened her seat and let the boy sit down.
Tom hated those Lions. Stupid bigots. Caligula would let that horse's arse Potter have it first match. The great Stuck up pureblood bully. At least this year would be his last at Hogwarts.
Tom's eyes returned to his own table.
Slytherin table was the hardest hit. So many seats held grieving students, and some weren't even there. Placards hung over empty plates in honor of the dead.
"Well, the war must be bad. We're not even going to have a feast."
"Just turnips, chickpeas and toast." Cal said.
"But at least we'll get more folks in Slytherin. It won't be so quiet."
The first years walked to the empty table and found the empty seats.
"This is my sis. Jenny, this is The Triumvirate." Kay smiled. "Like in ancient Rome, only more hep. Caligula Snape, Nicholas Malfoy and Thomas Riddle."
"Welcome to Slytherin. Plenty of chairs. Just take Roberta Allyn Gandywine's seat." Mung knocked the placard off the table.
"She's-"
"Missing. But I think you'll get to sit there for the rest of the year."
"Gandywines are dropping faster than the Merlinsbloods. The only ones left are in Africa."
"You talk to Tom. He's the prefect. I'm going to see my baby."
"But he's sitting just over there, at the next table."
Kay only had to face the opposite direction, toward the Ravenclaw table.
"Cyrille."
"Hallo, Kay my sweet."
The two swerved around and sat brushing knees. Ravenclaw and Slytherin always sat at adjacent tables.
"How's my big strong sheik?"
"Oh stop it. I'm blushing." Cyrille Lupin was a dark skinned fellow, with black hair and even his own moustache.
"Well, at least we're all too sick to eat." Algie complained.
Tom's actions the year before had inadvertently led to a confession of love between the Kay and Cyrille. And Cyrille's silly little love letter had led to this arrangement. Cyrille and Kay were very happy together. Arm in arm. If only Tom had that luck with himself.
"This place is so big." Jenny looked around, "There are so many people."
"Well, that's Sprout. She's a new teacher so she's very with it. Flitwick, he's the best dueler. He retired about fifteen years ago, after the Great War."
Jenny Carmicheal was transfixed by Tom's explainations. Cal poked her on the shoulder.
"The wimp is Albus Dumbledore. Transfiguration. But Tom will tell you all about him." Caligula blew a raspberry.
"We don't mind him. He keeps his nose out of our business."
A pair of blond sisters went walking down the hallway, squabbling, with a black cat between them. A tall thin blond and a busty one. The cat was keeping his mouth shut.
"Honestly Hilda," The willowy Potionsmistress lifted her nose in the air. "I can't believe you would be so petty. Who cares who invented the word supercalifragilistic-expialodoxios"
The busty blond frowned. "I thought my own sister would support me. But no, no. I am Hilda. Zee no good screw up. And you have pronounced it wrong. Docious."
"I'm not getting involved in your argument with Miss Poppins. I am neutral territory. Like America," the tall one said.
The Slytherin boys smiled as the twin beauties passed.
"The twiggy one is this year's Head of Gryffindor is Potionsmistress Zelda Spellman, by the end of the year she'll go." Cal grinned.
"We all know about the curse of Gryffindor," Nick nodded.
"Gryffindor? What's wrong with Gryffindor?" Jenny asked.
"Well, everyone knows that Grindewald was a Gryffindor. He was kicked out by Jonathon Harker for trying to steal the Dark Gryffin's feather and bring it to life. Like what happened last year."
"Harker, The Mudblood Slayer? I saw Dracula at the Aztec. Oh he was so scary. I couldn't have fought him."
"Jonathon Harker was the last Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, before Wilhelmina Harker. So Grindewald cursed the Head of Gryffindor. A year later, he died of the flu. His wife took over. They tried to get all the best professors to be head of Gryffindor, the proudest house. Kettleburn, Dawsin, Crowley, and Gandywine all heads of Gryffindor. No one lasted more than one year. Every head of Gryfindor has been a failure. One was a vampire in disguise until Nick slayed him."
"But everyone knows Albus Dumbledore wants it. It's his house." Nick said.
"Yeah, he'd do just about anything to be Head of Gryffindor."
Up at the staff table, Albus Dumbledore ate his chickpeas, looking almost harmless.
"This place is sure strange," Jennifer said.
"Even when that Vampire came here. The year that Tom, Nick, Verloc, and I found out that Tom was the grandson of a Wizard."
From their first year, the triumnivate had gotten into trouble together. From the year they broke the curse of the Count's Ghost, to the year they slew the Vampire Head of Gryffindor. Tom always was up to something. Only last year, the Dark Gryffin had come to life and tryed to eat the student body. But for some reason Tom was able to ride it. It had been a busy three years for the boy.
Of course most people who heard about Tom only heard the most ridiculous rumours that filtered down. None of it had made the papers.
Soon the Slytherins were talking about all their adventures in years past.
"Remember when Gandywine was turned into a pig? That was hilarious."
But Jenny's story time was soon over. For she had decided to make an entrance. The whole faculty and student body stared at her as she entered the room.
Professor Poppins sat down elegantly. Her robe was billowing and wide around her curvy, bottom heavy frame with a wide train with peacock feather cape. Yet all of this did not hide the fact she had a bright purple black eye.
"Who's that lady in the peacock robes?"
The students paused, letting her violet eyes gaze onto the dining hall and unfocus.
"That is Mary Poppins."
"That is our Head of House?
"They say she even has his blood. " Nick whispered.
Dumbledore stood up. Straightened his new purple and green velvet robe and gulped.
"Miss Poppins. That is the most spectacular bruise I have ever seen, Miss Poppins." He said, "Would you care to sit next to me?"
"Well, I am extraordinary woman. I bruise that way as well." Poppins opened her napkin and sat down. She crossed her legs genteelly and each buckle on her shoe had a big, fist-sized diamond. Still not hiding the bruise.
He had to think of something else. "I love how the blue in your scarf matches the violet in your bruise."
"Oh, you're just saying that. Aren't you, Dumbledore, you old flirt?"
The Head of Slytherin was a monstrously vain woman. But even she wasn't a big enough moron to like him. He sat down and tried to vanish.
"But it is good to know that you no longer feel the need to impress me by saying clever things."
Headmaster Dippet cleared his throat. "A few dinner announcements."
Dippet put his hands to his waist.
"First an announcement. All the trips to Hogsmeade have been canceled. There is to be no wandering about at night. Any student found out of bed after lights out will have massive deductions on their house points."
"This year we hope that the pranks will be reduced. Any tomfoolery will be dealt with in a strict manner. I look at a few familiar faces. Everyone must be on their best behavior."
The students groaned. Dippet was really on the war path since his familiar owl had been dyed Gryffindor red and taught to sing the Song of Godric. He was a Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuffs' and Gryffindors' Prank war was in its 5th year.
"Now, I am pleased to inform you that I and the board of governors have come to a decision on the Placement of Head of Gryffindor."
"Here it comes." Zelda Spellman straightened her hair.
"Good Luck, sis." Hilda Spellman nodded.
"There have been a lot of rumours floating around about the nature of the circumstances accompanying this honored post. It is just a series of unfortunate coincidences."
He snapped his fingers and read a scroll.
"The Nominees are Albus Dumbledore, Zelda Spellman and last but not least Professor Harker. But since Professor Harker has decided to withdraw her nomination. I am pleased to report that I have come to a decision. This year The Head of Gryffindor will be … Zelda Spellman."
The blond witch smiled waved and bowed, snapped her fingers and pulled out a scroll "'What makes a Gryffindor' by Zelda Spellman, As a Durmstrang graduate I cannot believe the honor of teaching at such a fine university."
"It's all right Zelda. You don't get a speech." Dippet said.
"To know my colleagues trust me as more than just a mixer of draughts, but admire me as an equal…" She continued speaking.
Poppins twitched her finger, making the scroll vanish. Asking for the ditzy blond to utter one more word.
Mina Harker yanked her down before Poppins could get in a good swift swat with her umbrella.
"But I have a speech."
"Oh for heavens sakes, Zelda, stop embarrassing us." Sprout gritted her teeth.
The faculty surrounded her. Mina Harker shook her hand.
"Good luck Miss Spellman you'll need it."
Even Albus Dumbledore kissed her on the cheeks.
After the back patting and the congradulations subsided, the food appeared. With lackluster applause.
"Let us eat."
"At least it looks like a feast."
The mouths in the room chewed on kidney and garbanzo beans, flavorless and dull. Someone zapped the table so that they were under the delusion they were eating raspberry tarts and cucumber sandwiches and delicate finger foods. Of course they still tasted like beans. But the setting lifted their spirits.
Zelda Spellman beamed. Her sparkling blue eyes glistened. Her shiny teeth rattling on and on about improvements and plans
"I have all kinds of ideas for the students of Gryffindor," Zelda smiled. "So they can thrive and flourish in such a sheltered environment. To be equipped to deal with the rigors of the dark world. Why, we have this program at Durmstrang…"
Dippet cleared his throat. Everyone knew that chosing a Head of House that was not an Alumnas was unprecedented. Dippet didn't want Zelda Spellman rubbing it in everyone's faces, should it ultimately fail.
"You've done a good job keeping their attention in class."
"It was a wonderful idea to charm the food, Albus." Zelda clutched his hand.
"At least she's not patronizing me." Albus gave her a huge crocodile grin.
At the student tables the illusion was wearing thin. The Slytherins began grumbling.
"I can't eat another bean. I hate beans."
"Ugg. I hate that stuff. As soon as the Gerry are beaten, we'll have a feast. Everything we want to eat."
"Beefsteaks. And Dressing and Potatoes with butter and cream and flour. Oh, and chicken and goose," Mung said, throwing a glop of baked potato on his plate.
"If you're that bad for meat, Mung, I saw a huge flock of ducks. Go blast a few with your Dad's muggle shooting gun," Caligula smirked.
"Stuff it, Cal."
"I remember when we had ham and bean soup and real Yorshire bacon. Now all we eat is Bean soup with no ham. Why can't we cook Ham soup with no beans?" Kay smiled.
"I love Yorkshire bacon too, cuddlelumps," Cyrille smiled.
Algie groaned. "Isn't that the bacon with pickles and bones in?"
"Oh, I'd even eat Yorkshire bacon with the bones in it." Nick smiled dreamily at the thought of meat.
"It can't be healthy, to have no chicken or meat or fresh dressing either. It just doesn't seem right," Mung said.
"Yeah. And liver'n'onions."
"Kidney pie."
"Shepards Pie."
"Beef Wellington."
"Roast Chicken ala Lyonaise."
"Lobster with butter and garlic for dipping."
"Pot roast."
"Chipolatas and Tamales"
"Lamb chops with rosemary and mint."
"Speaking of Lambchops," Cal grinned. A gaggle of Gryffindor girls sauntered by on their way towards the bathroom. "Take a looksie at the Lion crop this year. Look at Gordon. She looks like Vivian Leigh and Morgan Le Fey."
"How wow."
"She makes that robe any tighter and you'll be able to count her ribs," Tom said.
"If she needs a rib counting, I'd be happy too…"
Ellen snapped her fingers dismissively at Caligula. The girls laughed at skittered back to their table.
"Gotta love those Gryffindor chippies. They've got a lot of moxy. Bonnie Scotland right there. That is what we are fighting for." Caligula laughed.
"None of those girls will date you, Cal. You have too much of a reputation," Tom said.
"I'm thinking about dessert."
The Slytherins groaned in pain. Desert brought the idea of girl watching to an end. Who could compare the two? How long had it been since anyone had anything sweeter than apple sauce? Even Christmas cookies tasted like molasses. For Slytherins used to the best cuisine, it seemed a great sacrifice.
"French Pastries. Mille feiulles and chocolate croissants."
"Struedel and kuegel and little raspberry tortes."
"Speaking of Raspberry Tortes," Cal smirked. His eyes skated down the row over at Hufflepuff toward Celia, "There's a piece I'd like to try."
"Yeow." Tom smiled.
Nicholas rolled his eyes. "You guys are such animals." He tossed a bit of bread towards Cal.
"What would you eat, Tom?"
"Pudding." Tom sighed.
"Always with pudding. Don't you have any imagination?" Nicholas asked.
Tom had never had any other kind of thing, not any of those French things that the others were talking about. In the orphanage, Christmas pudding was the best food of the year. Not to mention that you could light it on fire. Some one else always got to light it. Just once Tom would have liked to do it.
"I want a big Christmas pudding. Right now, in the heat of summer," Tom said, "And we'd all get together and we'd all get together in the room and forget."
The Gryffindors began gritted their teeth. Ellen Gordon and George Potter lead their little group of Quidditch players toward the Slytherin table. Potter was glaring straight at Mung and Gordan at Caligula
"Could you shut your yap, Snape?" Ellen Gordon said looking right into his face. "Honestly."
"Excuse me?"
"I've never liked you, Caligula Snape." Gordon leaned into him menancingly.
"Well, if you don't like me then how come you're hanging on my every word?"
Gordon pounded her fist into her palm. "You smarmy bounder!"
"That's what happens when you get breast fed by your father." Cal did an obvious stage whisper.
"Snape!" She lunged at him and clutched her fists around his collar.
George patted her on the shoulder soothingly, "Look, Riddle, I don't tell you how to run things in your house, but get your pal in line."
"Who ever said I ran things?" Tom asked cooly. "He's not my thug."
"Kidding around is one thing. But this is serious. Talking about all that food when our boys are suffering on the front."
"We can talk about whatever we want." Tom said calmly "We're just trying to have some fun."
"We're just having fun. We'll quit." Nick tried to calm everyone down. He was such a coward.
"My Uncle Nathan is out there flying…"
Slytherins began attacking the Gryffindor Captain.
"In his great bloody stupid airplane. If he were a real man he'd use his magic."
"We're all suffering here equally. You don't need to make a mockery," George said.
"I'd like to see how long your Uncle Nathan would last against-" Cal said coolly.
"Riddle, shut his face. Or I'll let Gordon do it for him."
"I am my own man, Potter. If you have to let some Halfblood Chippy do your dirty work-"
"I am too," Mung said, jumping up.
"Your cousin wasn't killed by Muggles." Victoria Thorncroft stood up angrily.
"He might be." George shouted.
"At least you know he's alive." Thorncroft shook her fist.
The two sides began bickering loudly.
Pina stood up, trying to get George to walk back to his table. Mung and Caligula began insulting him behind his back.
"Emily, Ellen, George, you should know better than to start fights. Stop it immediately." Pina scowled.
"Whatever you say, Pina."
"Yeah Gordon, that's what happens when your mother wears combat boots." Mung said the muggle insult. He didn't exactly know what it meant, but he knew it was bad.
"You're grandmother's a werewolf!" Caligula offered to Potter in return.
"You are being stupid. Making a mockery of everything decent in the world."
The Slytherins groaned.
Little Rubeus Hagrid the 8 foot tall giant turned around "There's a war going on."
Tom snapped. That was the last time he'd suffer that phrase today. How many times had he heard it? He wanted to hurt someone. Like every one didn't know. Like there hadn't been bombs falling all over London last winter. Sanctimonious, obnoxious, stupid, naieve Purebloods. He stood up.
"Oh really. What a surprise. Cal, Nicholas, why didn't you tell me about it. I'm just shocked. I guess Potter was right."
The whole assembly of tables sat silent staring at Tom.
"I wondered what happened to my neighbors when they got blown up in the middle of the night. I thought they'd forgot to pay their electrics. I wondered why we didn't have anything to eat and why every one in Slytherin didn't show up, and why they keep sending owls and letters. I had no clue. "
The Gryffindors shut their mouths. Even George Potter. Emily Gwydion looked down, leading everyone back towards Gryffindor table.
"That's so horrible," Hagrid gulped. "All those poor muggles. Were they alright?"
The Gryffindors sat silent.
Tom looked in his gentle eyes. He couldn't hurt another person like that.
"Yeah. They were okay. It's just…"
Hagrid sat down next to Tom at the Slytherin table. "War is horrible. My Daddy's been busy all summer. Not even enough time to take tea most days. He keeps telling me it's worse for the muggles. All the guns and the bombs. I hope that doesn't happen to us." It was so hard to forget that the biggest student at Hogwarts was barely 11 years old.
"It can't. We're smarter than a bunch of Muggles," Nick Malfoy laughed.
The dinner ended quieter than most people expected.
***
Tom sighed and walked into his dorm.
"You alright Tom. I thought you were about to lose it."
"I think we all need some sleep." Tomn yawned."
"George Potter is just a bigot. He can't stand mudbloods or anybody different. Just cause he's related to Merlin he thinks that he's the voice of righteousness. Like he's any better than you."
"Yeah. Damn Potters."
"I'm beginning to see why not all purebloods get into Slytherin."
Pina put her hand on her hip.
"You bloody twits."
"I heard you tonight Caligula Snape. You were about to get a knuckle sandwich from Gordon."
"Well It's my business."
Pina tightened her black gaze. She could be very impressive when she loomed over them.
"Proserpine."
A stern voice echoed from the hall.
Mary Poppins set down her great hat.
"I have one thing to say to you boys. You too Proserpine."
"Yes Miss Poppins."
Miss Poppins walked over to the fire place.
"Tonight tempers were riled. Anger in the air. I want you to try to get on with Gryffindor house this year."
"But you heard what they said.
Poppins pulled the hot poker out of the oven. She blew it out."
"If you fight with those Gryffindors I'm going to have to take action. And I'm not taking any points off. Slytherin is not going to lose the House Cup."
"However. If one of you upstarts dares to lose your house points… the punishment will be grave."
"Good. Proserpine takes the girls up to bed. Spit Spot. I have to tuck in the First years."
The boys gulped looking at the poker in the fire.
The boys walked up the stairs.
"You don't think she's capable of…"
"She might…"
"She'd take away Quidditch."
"Even Gooney and Poppins don't have those kind of guts."
