Part 2: The Big Game
Caligula Snape stood in front of the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team.
"Without Verloc as Seeker it's going to be a tight squeeze. But we can handle it. We always had better Seekers than Hufflepuff. Now all we have to work on is the defending our goal."
"Cal, we do have a seeker to replace Verloc," Montague said. "We can use the second string seeker."
"Well, send him up."
"Yeah, but there is one thing you have to know."
"What?" Mung asked.
"Hey, I could beat those stodgy, fat, old pigeons in Gryffindor any day of the week. Slytherin is full of fast fliers," Caligula interrupted boastfully.
"But just so you know--" Montague began again.
And at that moment, Kay Carmicheal entered, wearing Slytherin Greens.
"Come on, boys. We only have one week to get ready to stomp Gryffindor into the ground."
"A girl?" Caligula spun around.
"You're very observant," Kay smiled, "Do you want doggy biscuit?"
"Nooo! Gryffindor is gonna laugh us off the field," Carter said. "I think we should just get a new second string."
"It worked for Hufflepuff," Mung said. "Artemisia McGonagall broke every record they have: rebounds, goals, fouls-
"I don't… I can't… no."
Kay put her hands to her hips, "Caligula, you are being so, so bloody… square. Let me play."
"Now, Mung, you're our Seeker. Kay, I'm sorry. But I couldn't let a lady such as yourself get hurt in such a brutal game as Quidditch." Cal patted her on the head.
"Me?" Mung yelped. "I can't be seeker."
"But I play Stitchsock all the time. And people have died during that. Why shouldn't I play a little Quidditch?"
"Well, that's with your girlfriends. This is Man's Quidditch. Since Leonards left, I am Captain. And the team is with me."
"Sorry, lady, why don't you just go work on your broom races? And cross stitch."
"You're making a mistake. I've been training all summer. This is the only chance we have to win." She shook her head. "Mung is a chaser, not a seeker. He's good at goals. You need someone to catch that Snitch or Gryffindor will outscore you in ten minutes."
"I know that Brambelton has 14 career rebounds. Ten safeties last year. And I fly at least 5 mph faster than Balthasar. I know that the weather is going to crisp which favors a high wind which will only slow the Gryffindors down. I know everyone of last years plays (you should have found a better place to hid the play book than the loose floorboard in the common room. and I weight at least 15 kilos lighter than all of you. I know my way around a quidditch pitch, thank you."
"I think she's proved herself." Mung smiled
"Go back Kay. We don't want to embarrass you."
"You'll be bloody sorry, Caligula Snape."
**
George Potter was eating breakfast with his team. A burly, strong king of the entire dorm. He was a Potter's Potter, tall, blond and catholic as King Arthur. Already he had a stubbly beard growing out of his face. He was so manly he could wear a rosary and not have anyone say it was a pretty necklace. (It happened once but George had showed him better.)
The only thing not Potter-like about George Potter was his flunky.
Ellen Gordon for one, was not a typical girl. She was tall with a hard voice. She also acted like a Potter, except that she was a woman. She was a real tomboy, of course. She wore her hair in an Italian cut and a men's tie around her neck. No one would cross them. The Golden Lions.
That is, until Riddle and his friends came around. Nothing angered Potter more than that Mudblood taking over his school. Tom was a good student, sure, but he didn't play Quidditch. He didn't have any money. He didn't even have an owl to call his own. It was unwizardly. How could they prove anyone was a wizard if they weren't a pureblood? The fact was that the scrawny mudblood was so well loved, despite all of that. The only teacher who saw through Tom Riddle's façade was Professor Poppins and whenever she punished Tom everyone said she was being unfair.
"They've got Caligula. He's mad as a beater. His mum made him practice on the ground with a muggle tennis ball, but I'll bet he'll stink as a captain."
"Yeah, well, Artemisia McGonagall showed him last year. Remember last year's Fall game? Slytherin Versus Hufflepuff. She sent him into the sky with that quaffle."
"Yeah. He's really snobby though. He wouldn't even let them substitute Kay for Verloc. Kay is about the best player among the girls. Well, second best." She buffed her nails.
"Oooh. Girl players," Lionel Jordan said
"Of course, she can't hold a candle to my McEgnie crossover." Ellen crossed her arms behind her head.
"Any bloke in this school could beat the best girl in the school," George proclaimed. "Quidditch is for wizards, not witches."
"Oh, really?" Ellen cocked her head to the side. "Then why are women better fliers?"
"There is more to Quidditch than flying, Gordon."
"Yeah, brains. And Balthasar McClintock doesn't have many of those."
Emily grabbed a potato.
"Yes. Em is our seeker."
Ellen wrapped her arm around the girl.
"She's ripping. Light as a cloud and twice as fast. A lot
better than Balthasar. With us girls on your team you might actually
be fast enough to outfly Slytherin. They are faster and more vicious then our
boys. They all weigh under 80 kilos."
"I don't know what you're
talking about." Emily laughed uncomfortably.
"Emily Gwydion plays Quidditch. Oohoo hoo. That is so rich."
"Will you excuse us for a minute, George?" Emily turned away from George and pulled Ellen toward her. George covered his ears.
"Ellen, you're not supposed to say that to a boy," she said plaintively. "They don't want a girl who's better at Quidditch than they are. They get embarrassed."
"What? You play a lot of Quidditch."
"Well yeah. But you can't talk like that."
"Like what?"
"Saying I'm better than I am… or that I'm better than any boy."
"Better?"
"I don't want the boys to think I'm one of those girls. Pushy, modern, vulgar..."
"Ellen," Mattie Appleby added.
"What does flying in a Quidditch game have to do with that?" Ellen asked, ignoring Mattie.
"The boys won't like me if I say I'm good at Quiddich." Emily repeated.
"They're so fragile when it comes down to it." Mattie grumbled. "They can't let us girls do anything without making a big stink. Voting, driving. They have to be better all the time. Just last week my Nicholas got insulted 'cause I beat him at darts."
"Boy's won't go out with a girl if she's sporty," Em said.
"Well, boys don't go out with you anyway. I mean, your glasses are so bloody square. Why should you have to be a phony too?" Ellen turned to George, who was still standing a few feet away. "Emily's a great seeker."
"But could you imagine if you beat a boy in Quidditch?" Emily wrung her hands nervously. "They'd be so embarrassed. They wouldn't be able to hold up their heads."
"Ellen, that gives me an idea." George stroked his stubbly chin and put his hand on Emily's shoulder.
**
"Welcome to Muggle Studies. The basics of life in the real world."
Tom sat in the back, Caligula lounging over a chair next to him. Ever since Tom was placed into Slytherin, Professor Poppins had had it in for him for some reason. She was always ghosting in the hall, watching his every move. It had begun first year, and even to this day he could not help feeling like she had it in for him.
"I see OWL watchers. Attempting to find an easy mark. Well, do stop in. To the front of the class so you don't start doodling."
Tom turned bright red. Caligula always made them sit in the back of the class. They moved to the empty chairs.
"Caligula Snape, nice to see you. Especially considering the fact that you couldn't figure out something as simple as a car safety belt."
Cal slumped down, trying to vanish underneath his desk as the class laughed. How had she seen that?
"If you're wondering how I knew… I know everything and forget nothing."
Poppins stopped in front of Tom. Her haughty violet eyes fell upon him.
"The Halfblood. What are you doing in my class, Mr. Riddle?"
"I don't-"
"Well if you don't know, I suggest you leave. And not embarrass yourself any further."
"I- I"
"Well enough of this. To your assignments. We will begin with a day of typical muggle errands. Things any one of you will be expected to do to survive. Grocery shopping, oh yes and the bus. But some of us are only doing this for review. Why don't you line up?"
Tom knew he should have chosen the ancient runes class. As easy as everything was, having Poppins watching his every move was going to drive him insane. Why had he let Caligula talk him into this?
The other students in the class began lining up.
Poppins had opened a gateway into a photograph. The students jumped in and began to use the apparatus.
A student held up her hand to flag down the
bus. When it didn't stop, she put her
hands on her hips.
"Miss Bagshot, that is a
taxi. This is a bus. You have to go to a bus stop."
And that horrible nickname. Halfblood She had used it often enough to make his neck hair cringe. He could remember the first time he heard it. It was a quiet day in September all those years ago that it happened. When he first met Mary Poppins.
"Is your name Tom Riddle?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Her face turned ashen. Her eyes swelled. He was about to speak when she stood up.
"You are a liar. You are not Tom Riddle."
"I'm not?"
"Don't be cheeky. If you are Tom Riddle, I'm the Cow who jumped over the moon. Now who are you?"
"Ma'am that's my name."
"Why are you Tom Riddle? How could a little mudblood from London know that name? What do you want from it?"
"It's not my real name. I was mudblood, ma'am. I don't know anything about my folks."
"You're lying. You chose the name Tom Riddle for a reason."
"That's the name I had. They didn't have my name so I guess they made it up at the Orphanage."
"Who is your father?"
Tom was so frightened. She grabbed him by the shoulders.
"Your father. Who is he?"
"I don't know." Tom remembered crying.
"Miss Poppins. What are you doing to that student?" That was the second time he had met Albus Dumbledore, when he barged in between them.
"I want to know who this child is."
"This boy is Tom Riddle. He's a muggleborn."
"What is he doing here? How did you find him? I must know."
"Miss Poppins. You leave here right now."
"Marvolo." She muttered to herself.
Tom remembered that name somehow.
"I'm going to find out who you are, Mr. Tom Riddle, and when I do, you'll be sorry."
"Mary, honestly. What has come over you, woman?" Flitwick asked.
She wafted away down the dark hall.
"Flibbity Gibbit!"
Tom woke up from his reverie.
"Miss Proserpine, do you really think such odd behavior will go unnoticed on the bus? Honestly."
"I don't see why you can't stop the bus myself." Pina was holding on the fender with one hand as the bus's wheel spun quickly.
"You don't lift a bloody bus. Get to the back of the line Proserpine."
Professor Poppins was always quiet and cross, but that first day she seemed furious.
"Five points from Slytherin. And to think I chose this bubble head for Prefect."
Pina Proserpine crossed her eyes as Professor Poppins clapped her hands "Mister Sigmund Longbottom. You are up next."
"I--"
"Spit spot!" She stomped her ruler against her hand.
The boy jumped into the photograph.
"Bloody fools."
She had towered over him, like a giant salt cellar.
"Yes Young Tom Riddle."
Poppins gave him her cool look.
"You. Show us how it is done, Halfblood."
The painting loomed ahead of him.
"You mean I just jump in."
"Unless you fancy a double wink and twitching your nose." Mary said.
Tom Riddle straightened his mudblood cap and sniffed.
Mary snapped her fingers.
"Well, class. You are dismissed.
"Uh Miss Poppins. Did you turn off the-"
"I suggest you look to your books and practice ordering at a grocery. And not lifting buses off of the ground… Now get lost, as they say. I need hot toddy."
"But Tom is still in their.
"He'll be okay."
"But but."
"This is what slackers get in my class. Anyone who is bloody lazy enough to take a class they already have taken deserves a little …challenge."
The SLytherins looked in the photograph.
"Are there any questions?"
"How is he going to escape?" Sigmund gapsed.
Mary Poppins took a candy from the jar.
"I meant questions about Homework, Mr. Longbottom."
The Slytherins began looking around.
"She wouldn't just leave him in there."
At these screaming out of the photograph came Tom Riddle with his hat missing. "Catch your breath Halfblood. Have a caramel."
Tom panted and gripped on his desk. He pulled himself to his feet.
"Oh 30 points to Slytherin." Mary swallowed her caramel, "Good job surviving and all."
She gave him the caramel and returned to her desk.
***
Tom woke up in the Infirmary.
"Good thing she knows her candy. Chocolate for dementors. Toffee for Vortices." Master Tourniquette looked in his ears.
"I'm surprised you didn't vomit." Nurse Pomfrey said.
"When was the last time you cleaned your ears Mister Riddle." Master Tourniquette asked.
"Lunch is almost over."
"Hang on. I've got to go drop out of a Muggle Studies class."
Tom thundered down the hall to the Muggle Studies classroom.
Poppins sat up straightening her pocket protector. She folded her hands
"Yes Halfblood."
Tom wasn't a little kid to let his professor terrorize him. Even if she did save his life. She didn't have the right to call him that name. Or make fun of him.
She kept an eye on him, somehow and observed the entire class, from behind her desk
"What are you up too lately?"
"I can't believe I thought to took this class. Here is my slip. I won't be attending any longer."
I hope you'll enjoy Ancient Runes, Mr. Riddle. Though I doubt it will be as stimulating."
"If you call being stuck in a photograph stimulating than I'd rather take Double History of Magic with Binns."
Poppins should have grinned demonically. But her face was placid.
"Albus Dumbledore says you have good news of late. I was wondering why you have yet to tell your head of house."
Because it's you Miss Poppins. He wanted to say.
"I know that you think that I don't care. But you brought something back from London on the train. Some very creature."
Damn her. She did know everything.
"My familiar. She's young and I have to take care of her."
"I thought you didn't have a familiar."
"Well you don't know everything then." Tom blurted out.
"Well I will when you tell me." She said with flint in her throat.
"I- don'y-"
"Maybe I'll have some advice to give. Never deny wisdom Riddle. No matter where the source is."
It was only second year he discovered the terrible secret from her. That Marvolo had been a wizard. So he wasn't a mudblood, but the grandson of a powerful wizard. He was a halfblood.
He had no idea how she knew about Marvolo the Wizard, but she had. But she would never tell. She was much too proud. When they fought the Dark Gryphon, with Nick and Caligula, she had even taken a blow for them. She almost died from the Gryphon's claws.
Maybe he should just stay clear of her. Poppins was just better when she ignored him. She wouldn't be nice to him now.
"I don't think so." Riddle said.
"It's amazing how you can grow a backbone so quickly, Halfblood."
She lifted one eyebrow
"Mr. Riddle. A word with you about your… familiar."
She looked down.
She motioned him to sit. Her violet eyes wandering into space.
Tom couldn't avoid that awful gaze. How he wanted to shout and whinge and complain and storm out of there. But he fell in the seat.
She looked squarely at him.
"I have heard you have come in possession of a certain animal with strange… properties."
"Yes. She's my familiar."
"Really. And she just came to you?"
"I found her at the Fishwife's."
"Trust no one, Tom. Any creature who reaches out to you has something to gain. This is not what you think it is. She doesn't care about you."
"But she's-"
"She doesn't care about you. She is an animal possessed in her own twisted self-interest. They cannot be trusted."
"But I like her. She's so sweet."
"You must be careful. Do you think you can control her with good intentions? Because you're a decent and good person. Well, anybody can change."
"I-"
"You're a fool, boy. Nothing will stop her if she desires it. What she desires will destroy you." Her voice was fiery and blazing.
"But-"
"My suggestion is to bash her brains in before she turns."
"She's just…"
"She's harmless now, but soon she'll be out of control."
"It's monstrous." Tom shook his head. Poppins wanted him to kill his own familiar. "I couldn't kill a kitten. You're a monster…"
"A kitten?" Poppins paused " You mean, not a…"
Tom collected his books "Of course Ginger is a kitten. What else would she be? I can't afford an owl. And toads are gross. Why would you want to kill her?"
"A kitten?" she repeated, and sat back down.
"You aren't going to touch my familiar."
"Your little familiar is a kitten? Furry animal, drinks cream."
"I don't have any cream.:
"A Kitten? But you're a wizard."
"Yes. So? I love her. And you aren't going to go anywhere near her."
Poppin stood up a let out a chuckle. It sounded so odd so strange to hear her laughing.
"Oh dear. Oh… Well never mind, then." She walked to her shelf. "Go to class, then. Spit spot."
"but-"
"Oh for the sake of Heaven above boy. Get lost."
Mary Poppins took a sigh of relief and collapsed on her desk. How had she managed to do that again. Her hand trembled.
"Someone must love me up there."
She took out her magical medicine bottle. Uncorked it. She didn't bother looking for the spoon. She needed something more potent than Lime Cordial.
She took a sip, then a gulp then a glug.
"Jack Daniels." She wiped her lip and hoped she would be ready for her next class.
***
Tom began to head towards Transfiguration in a daze. At least his feet did. His mind was elsewhere. He began to panic as soon as the Muggle Studies classroom was out of sight. Ginger. She was going to hurt his cat. That Balmy Nanny was going to hurt his familiar.
Tom walked into the Transfiguration classroom. It was a sunny place with lots of light and windows. And at the center, the warm, bighearted Professor Dumbledore in a scarlet robe.
Professor Dumbledore was chatting with the Slytherins, including Cal, who was still complaining about the class before.
"I thought Muggle Studies was going to be easy," Caligula whined.
Prof. Dumbledore punched him in the shoulder,"The best way to learn is to live with muggles. A few years ago, every wizard had to spend a year among the muggles when he became a man. I remember it. I lived in London with three other boys. They took me to play nine pin bowling at the special parlor. Great chaps."
"Well, I don't think my mum would like me living with muggles." Cal smirked and snorted.
Professor Dumbledore was not about to start a discussion about the Widow Snape. "Good luck in the Quidditch match, son." Dumbledore nodded.
"I'm not going to need it with no McGonagalls on the field, Professor Dumbledore."
"I hear you there," Dumbledore chuckled. "I flew with Maximillian once. They should become pros all of them."
"Slytherin's going to go all the way this year." Cal put his arms in back of his head.
"How's your sister, Cleo? Is she having a good time in Prague?"
"Cleopatra?" Caligula asked.
"Your sister's name is Cleopatra?" Mung laughed. "What were your parents thinking?"
"Maybe they like the letter C," Kay smiled wickedly.
Prof. Dumbledore smiled, "I haven't seen her in years. Hmmm."
Caligula blanched. "Cleo? Why would you want to talk to my sister?"
"I'm sure a beautiful girl like her has too much to worry about as it is." Dumbledore laughed.
Caligula shuddered. "Eww. Cleo?"
"Well, tell her I said hello, Caligula."
Caligula shook his head.
Albus looked at Tom. His expression became concerned.
"Tom, are you all right? You look a little green."
"I just want to get back to my cat. I'm worried about her."
"I'm sure she will be fine."
"I just..."
Dumbledore looked at him. He patted Tom on the shoulder.
"You still look worried. Since she is a kitten, you might want to check on her before class starts."
"Could I, Prof. Dumbledore?"
"She's a very special creature. Just get back as soon as possible."
Tom took the shortest route to Slytherin. Running, leaping, hoping he could make it in time. He could feel the dread growing in his stomach.
Ginger was slumped on the bed. He gasped. "Ginger."
She sat up, one eye still closed from sleep.
"Come with me to class. We won't let Poppins get you. You stay with me."
***
Tom was playing with Ginger on the bed. He wouldn't take his eyes off her. What kind of monster was Poppins to kill a kitten? His familiar wasn't allowed in the dining hall, so Nick brought him a cheese sandwich.
Caligula was on his bed. "Come on, Tom. Why would anyone want to hurt your kitten?"
"Poppins wants to kill her. She said the cat would get out of control." Tom said.
"She's just a cat. She didn't even claw the drapes." Caligula shook his head. "Maybe you exaggerated. She just doesn't want Ginger ruining the furniture." Nick said.
"Well, I know what she said. She said she was afraid for my safety. But my cat would never hurt me."
Caligula, as always, changed the subject. Tom didn't need to always worry what Poppins was going to do next.
"Can you believe Dumbledore today? Asking me how's my sister? He acted like she was a girl or something."
"Who?"
"Cleo."
"Yeah, when he was in school he had a crush on her," Tom said.
"How did you find that out, Tom?" Caligula wrinkled his nose.
Tom pointed at Mung.
"How could he possibly know?" Cal protested.
Mung looked up from his text book. "I asked Mrs. Figg. When I visited Verloc in the hospital. I saw the pictures on your desk. They were in the same class. Besides," he grinned, "we can guess from those pictures of Cleo from the Gay Nineties. She had all those corny old beaus around her. Take a look."
"Where'd you get a picture of my sister?" Cal growled.
Mung tossed Carter a copy. The tall young belle had dark eyes, a beauty mark, and crimson lips. She looked absolutely like a female equivalent of Caligula. Graceful and lithe, with the same delicate noise and pointy chin.
"How WOW. She's poured into that robe. This her?" Carter drooled "Come here and look at Snape's sissie."
"You can't be serious. She's, she's-"
The boys in Slytherin circulated the photo. The Lovely Cleopatra Snape greeted them all with a wave and thrown kisses.
"Are you sure this isn't one of those girly calendars?"
"She's got legs."
"I though Ellen had a tight dress. If that dress were any tighter she'd need a can opener to take it off." Tom laughed.
"Everyone knows she was the bees knees. Yeah. She's got Voh dee oh doh."
They laughed at the corny old language.
"Will you stop talking about my sister like she's a woman?" Cal snarled. He snatched the picture away from Montague.
"Your sister used to cut quite a swath back during the Great War. Dumbledore probably had a thing for her back when he was our age." Nick defended
"Not my sister. He didn't-"
"Don't be so uptight," Tom said. "So what if Dumbledore had a thing for her? Heck she's-"
Caligula grabbed a pillow and swatted his pal. "I forgot that you were in love with Dumbledore, Tom tit."
"Shut up." Tom swatted him back with another pillow.
"Besides, he can't be interested in my sister." Cal wrapped the photo in newspaper so everyone would stop gawking. Cleo frowned and waved goodbye."Everyone knows that he's been trying to talk to Poppins. He can't say four words to her without turning bright red."
"That's a disaster." Mung laughed "Gee Miss Poppins. You're bruises are a nice color."
"He'll never get anywhere with a Slytherin. So he couldn't be with my sister."
"He could be two timing her," Tom suggested. "She does live in Warsaw."
The boys began laughing.
"If anyone says one more word about my sister I'll pound them." Cal balled his fist.
Ginger jumped off the bed, tried of smelling like human Tom and slept on the shelf over the bed.
"I think we've finally bored her."
"Ginger get back here."
Ginger rolled her eyes.
"Come on. You can't watch her every second."
"Ginger's coming with me to the game. I'm not taking my eye off her." Tom said.
"You can't bring your cat in your knapsack. She'll catch a cold."
"If I leave her, Poppins will kill her."
"Poppins won't kill her. Besides, Poppins is going to be at the game too."
Tom dropped Ginger into his satchel
"Just don't make any noise while she's sleeping.
"Tom, it's a Quidditch game," Mung protested. "You have to cheer."
"I just would die if anything happened to her," Tom said.
***
It was a blustery fall day on the day of the big game. The Slytherins were dressed in scarves and mittens. Tom could only hope his precious bundle wouldn't get cold and try to escape.
Pina, the girls Prefect, and Tom the boys were quite close to each other in the stands. And she was a regular Quidditch Bible. Unfortunately mystics of her degree weren't allowed to play Quidditch because they could go into a epileptic fit. It was almost as bad as being a dark creature.
"This is going to be a slaughter. Even Caligula couldn't ruin this game."
She waved her serpent banner. "Come on Boys… Win this and you'll get so much butter beer you'll be sick for a week.
The team cheered at her promise. Montague kissed her hand.
"Hey Gooney? How badly do you think were going to cream Gryffindor?"
"You know I can't tell you who's gonna win. But 2 billion points Slytherin. In the first minute."
The team cheered. Some of the 4th years began to take odds on her prediction.
It didn't look professional for the prefects to slam the other team. So Pina sat down. Next to her was the little Carmicheal.
"Where is Kay?"
"You couldn't get her out here? You know Carmicheal. She's dressed in Quidditch greens in the player area complaining about social injustice. Inequality. The New World Order."
"Did she faint?"
"Just about… I heard they had to stuff her in the laundary hamper and put a sweat sock in her mouth."
"Is she really that amazing at Quidditch?"
"She's amazing at being the center of attention," Pina said. "The way she nanners on you'd think she's Maximillian McGonagall."
In the stand across from them he could see Professor Poppins sitting next to Mina Harker.
Lionel Jordan read the announcements.
"Welcome to the first game of the year. It's going to be a great game between the Finalist of last years cup, The Slytherin Serpents versus the Gryffindor Lions."
Hufflepuff booed loudly at the mention of the Gryffindor team. They weren't even playing.
"Due to unforeseeable circumstances last minute substitutions have been added to the roster of the Gryffindor team."
Then it happened. At first nothing seemed odd, but them it became clear there was something different about these players. They were smaller and moving around faster than the team. Tom couldn't figure it out exactly until he saw Matilda fly by his head. Matilda Apppleby? Did she play Quidditch?
The players zipped out into the arena, all flying side saddle on their brooms.
"Chasers Matilda Appleby and Chastity Jordan. That's my sister. Go get 'em!"
"Girl Chasers?" Tom whispered to Jenny in disbelief."
"Seeker Emily Gwydion."
"Girl seeker?"
"And Right Beater Ellen "The Widowmaker" Gordon."
"GORDAN?" Snape shrieked.
The Slytherin players gasped.
All of SLytherin gasped.
"They've got all birds on their team," Mung said.
The girls sat forward on their brooms. They all had fire in their eyes.
Emily Gwydion tossed her head rather than look at Caligula. Chastity began drumming her fingers. Ellen Gordan growled at him, making a cutting motion across her neck.
"Worse. Ex-girlfriends," Caligula gulped.
"All of them? You dated the Gryffindor Quidditch team?" Mung chuckled nervously.
"Never thought you would say that." Cal shook his head. "It makes me sound like a tart… except I'm a boy."
"Hello, Caligula." Matty frowned at him threateningly.
"What are all you gals doing on the Quidditch Pitch?" Caligula smiled uncomfortably.
"We're all second string. Why don't you thank George Potter for bringing us up to play?"
"But you can't play. You're all girls."
"We'll see who can play and who can't, Snape." Ellen gritted her teeth.
Nick clutched Cal's uniform. "We can't attack. How are we supposed to hit them with bludgers?" Nick asked. "Or knock them into the ground, or bite them, or hex them?"
"I can't hit a girl. My mummy would have my head."
"And even if we win, everyone will say that they were just a bunch of girls."
"We'll have to play fair," Cal said, gritting his teeth. "And make sure no one gets hurt."
"But we'll never win that way," Nick whined.
"Do you want to knock your girlfriend off her broom, Malfoy?" Cal asked. "Let's just get the quaffle and kill George Potter. We'll focus on the snitch later."
Before they knew it the quaffle was up in the air.
Montague zoomed as fast as he could grabbing it up before Appleby could even think. She began to block him
"Attack Formation Beta." Ellen Gordan shouted.
At this Ellen sent a bludger at Caligula's head.
"Oh, my god." Caligula gaped at her. "Excuse me," he protested, "could you not do that?"
Chastity Jordan swatted Mung off his broom.
"Ooof." Mung
"The Slytherin Seeker is out. OOOh. One in the carrot and two bits."
The Headmaster stood up "Mr. Jordan kindly refrain from obscenity."
"Yoo hoo." Appleby waved at Cal.
From the stands Jenny winced. Tom shook his head.
"We're getting creamed out there." Tom shook his head, and cuddled Ginger closer to his chest. "They don't play fair."
Ellen aimed another bludger at Caligula. He dodged it, only to have it knock Carter into the Hufflepuff bleachers, straight into Miss Sprout's lap.
"They reconvenied again."
"We're two men down. Five minutes in and we're two man down. Montauge has the Quaffle."
"They can still fly."
"Carter is twitching, sort of," Mung volunteered. "Master Tourniquette is trying to push his arm back into joint."
"We need our players."
In the stands, Carter groaned.
"Go get second string," Cal ordered.
"Is that allowed?"
"I'm the Captain, aren't I? Go, Malfoy. Get re-inforcements. Before Montague is overwhelmed"
Kay was underground in the team waiting area, kicking at dust overdramatically.
"Kay, thank goodness you're here. We've lost two men already. You have to suit up."
"Can do." She ripped off her school robe. Underneath, she'd been wearing the Slytherin greens. "I'm all ready to fly."
"You were wearing a sweater under your robe.
"I knew you'd come back. Crawling in the dust. You have to realize that the times have changed and-"
Malfoy grabbed her by the scruff of the neck
"Get on Carmicheal."
"It's seems that they've called in another player."
Dippet gasped. "Can they replace players midgame?"
"Well, there's no rule against it. How do you think they let a woman on the team in the first place?" Mina Harker asked.
"Yes it looks like Kay Carmicheal. This Dog fight is going to turn into a Cat fight."
Carmicheal swooped in.
"That's my Kay. Halllo KAY!" Cyrille shouted at her.
Kay blew a kiss.
Ellen tunred her head around and hurled a blodger into her. He rolled around it.
Montague was being wrangled by Matty and Ellen, who were trying to steer him into the side of the stands.
"Oh Montague. Hang on!" Cal shouted sped up his broom.
The girls were trying to put Montague the keeper out of the game as soon as possible. Dog piling upon him mid air.
Kay flew up to Caligula.
"Gryffindor is ahead and we got nothing. No score. We've got to get that snitch."
"I'll cover you, Kay." Nick said.
Kay zipped around the field. Nick knocked the bludgers away. Belamy was flying even faster than usual.
Gordon yawned and sent the bludger right at Kay's head
"Help me! Nick!" Kay bellowed as she finally escaped the thing. She swatted him on the arm.
"I can't stop her."
"We've got to play more aggressively," Kay snapped.
Two girls were already cornering in on Malfoy. Kay looked behind her.
"Stop them. They are going to knock us down."
"But they're girls." Cal said.
"Bloody Hell, Snape," Kay snarled. "Get into the Forties. This is serious."
"We've got to-"
Kay and Cal switched direction so they would no longer be chased. Splittting then reconvening for their huddle.
"But how are you going to help us? There are five of them and with Mung and Carter and Montague getting pelted, only four of us." Malfoy shouted to Kay.
Kay looked at the girls scornfully. "That's not very ladylike anyway. Smashing a man into the Hufflepuff bleachers."
Kay began flying towards the snitch.
She watched them surrounding Malfoy.
"I have one question for you, Snape. Are Slytherins gentleman?"
"What?" Cal said.
"Are Slytherins gentleman?"
"Not really," Cal shrugged.
"I'm rather rude, actually," Malfoy said.
"Well, if we're not gentleman, than what are we worried about?" Kay asked. "They aren't acting like ladies. We're all Quidditch players, we could win the championship this time. The Quidditch Cup. And we will too." She nodded forcefully. "We've lost it for last 6 years. We owe it to Slytherin."
"Even if you win, you lose," George taunted from across the field. "No one will ever respect a guy who had to beat up a bunch of girls."
Caligula's jaw clenched and a vein in his forehead began throbbing. "I've got to wipe that smirk off George Potter's face."
"Go play Quidditch, boys," Kay shouted.
The huddle broke up.
Malfoy grabbed his club and sent a bludger directly at Chastity who was pelting Montague.
Then Bellamy went for a goal.
"Slytherin scores!"
The second Slytherin went back to playing real Quidditch they began scoring. George the Keeper was being attacked on all sides as his chasers were beginning to fall out of the sky.
In the Slytherin stands the fans were doing the wave.
"If Little man can just stop Ellen from hitting people, we might get a goal past Potter." Pina said.
"Yeah. But I don't think he'd ever hit a girl," Tom shook his head.
Ellen flew besides Caligula.
"Well, Caligula, face it," Ellen sneered, as she circled him like a vulture. "Your Keeper's a rookie. Your players are exhausted. You'll never get the Cup."
"Never say never."
"You're all talk. The great Caligula, just like you are behind closed doors. All talk."
Caligula spotted a bludger making a beeline for the two of them.
"Um..."
"Talk talk talk talk-"
The bludger hit Ellen in the stomach, knocking her off her broom and into the sand below.
"Oh my stars," Caligula gasped. "I should have told you to watch out. I am so sorry, Ellen, are you okay?" he began whinging as he flew down to help her off the ground.
She groaned.
"Um. I got to go play this game now. You're alright aren't you?"
"Piss off Snape!"
Cal flew away.
Emily Gwydion looked down at the field. She saw the snitch. She got a stunned look on her face as it reflected off her black glasses.
"It's her." Em whispered.
In the stands the reaction was immediate.
"Gryffindor seeker, Gwydion has the snitch in her sight." Jordan let out a wolf-whistle. "Now that is a seeker. Gryffindor hasn't attained possession of the snitch in any game for the last three years."
Emily flew faster and faster, straightening her glasses. Her short black hair ruffling in the wind, even more disgusting than usual.
Montague panicked and began chasing after her.
Caligula spotted the left-hand bludger. It would be a perfect hit.
Gryffindor began booing. But they always did. The Slytherins were cheering again. It looked like the game had turned around.
Caligula crossed his fingers.
"Forgive me, Miss Gwydion. But Quidditch is QUIDDITCH!"
Caligula flew next to the bludger, preparing to swing.
Emily wasn't even looking as she got closer to touching the snitch. Her gloves brushed the wings. Even her lips tensed.
"I got you, you little you you, you."
Thwap.
"Backhand serve worthy of the Queens cup at Wimbledon," Jordan shouted. "She's going to wake up sore in the morning."
"Mister Jordan!" Dippet shrieked over the noise of the crowd.
"Emily!" George zoomed on his flew in front of her, shielding her from the blow of the bludger.
The Bludger knocked straight into his groin.
George howled. "You bastard, Snape! How dare you hit a girl?" He grunted and doubled over, but held onto his broom, he twirled upside down once and floated in the air.
The Slytherins stopped to laugh and cheer.
"One right in the wedding tackle." Jordan winced.
"Jordan!"
The Hufflepuff were pounding the stands, singing the Song of Godric, with new lyrics about cross-dressing and getting hit in the groin with a bludger.
The Gryffindor seeker sighed.
"Thanks, George. I was almost demolished." Emily straightened on her broom.
"I couldn't let a lady get hurt." He groaned.
"Watch the damn goal, Potter!" Matty shouted.
But at this another quaffle whizzed an inch from his ear
"Slytherin makes another goal!"
Mina threw down her scarf.
"Blast! Not another goal!"
"AH how refreshing to know that in the changing climate of sexual identity, with the burgeoning of feminist ideologies and the subtle shift in political practice and the dawning of new age…" Poppins smirked "Slytherins still kick bloody arse!"
"Not if that Gwydion girl gets that snitch she doesn't, Poppins." Mina Harker balled her fist. "You go get'em girl."
"Well I supposed then they'll have to stop her from flying then." Mary picked up her opera glasses.
"Yeah."
"All they had to do was throw steel bludger at a bunch of poor defensless women. I think Slytherin has finally reached a new low." Albus whimpered.
"Thank you, Albus, you are far too kind."
Mary began whistling the song of Godric to the Hufflepuffs chants.
The game picked up. Slytherin had begun scoring on the girls. They were inexperienced chasers. Once Slytherin started making goals the game had turned around.
Tom Riddle shook his head. Ginger tried to cover her eyes.
"What's the score now?" Tom whimpered.
"Well 100-80 Slytherin's ahead. I can't believe it." Pina crossed her fingers.
Kay panted.
"I can't even see the damn thing. I could always just let Gwydion find it and steal it."
"I got you." Kay reached out her hands.
The Snitch zipped away from her.
She swore.
Emily shrugged.
"It is tough today." She said
"Put a muzzle in it, four eyes." Kay grumbled.
"May the best woman win." Emily doffed her imaginary cap.
During this exchange Montague slid one past Potter.
"And Slytherin gets the Goal!"
" 110 to 80 Slytherin. We're winning."
"We're Winning! We're Winning!" Jenny jumped up.
"Hundred ten to us." Tom was on his feet, "Let's hope their Gwydion doesn't get the Snitch. She already touched it." Tom said.
Emily found the snitch again. She cheered.
"George, Matty, cover me. This golden doo dad is mine." She shouted over the pitch.
Remaining Gryffindor team flanked their seeker, deflecting all the bludger fire and blocking the offensive line.
Kay looked at Caligula grabbed his back.
"Kay she's going to- get"
"Let them get it. Emily is the best seeker I've ever seen. She deserves that snitch."
Cal panicked. "What?"
"Trust me." Kay frowned.
"I have an idea."
Cal sneered with an evil smirk "Oh well…"
Kay flew in the opposite direction flanked by Caligula.
In the stands Tom shouted. "Don't give up, Kay."
But Kay was making no play for the snitch. She flew away.
"Sissy you can do it! Don't give up!"
"Those Gryffindor bullies are going to win," Tom yelled. "Caligula, what are you doing?" Tom shouted loud enough so the players could hear.
"Oh."
Pina let out a string of greek cuss wordsand tore at her hair.
"When the going get's tough… run away." Cal shouted.
"Caligula Snape! Go back and catch that Snitch or I will give you detention so much detention your son will spend his life trapped in the Slytherin Dungeons!" Mary Poppins shouted.
"What is that idiot doing?"
"Quick she almost has it." Mina nudged.
"Albus she's almost got it!" ALbus threw his scarf into the air.
The eyes were glued on Emily Gwydion.
George Potter deflected another bludger shot with his club.
"Go Emmie! Get the Snitch. You can do it Luv!"
Soon every eye in the arena was glued to Emily Gwydion. She was zooming up at great speed.
She made a grab for the snitch, her feet leaving the broom.
"Oh, wow."
But soon the reality of her decision sunk in.
In one second she floated in mid air.
She began plummeting to the earth. The entire crowd screamed. No sound could be heard.
"Oh my Heaven."
Poppins actually moved to the edge of her seat.
"Does she have it?" Tom gasped.
Everyone was on their feet.
Jordan was shouting into the mike. Even Dippet was pounding his fist.
"She has it."
"Gryffindor has the snitch."
George swooped underneath Emily, pulling her onto his broom. The Gryffindor stands went wild.
She sailed around on the front of Potter's broom.
"Emily, you have it."
Tom forgot his team and cheered. The Slytherins were breathless shouting for the seeker.
The girl stood up, holding it between her fingers as she swooped them.
"How's them apples? You nasty Serpents! I got it."
Tom crossed his arms as the swopped down on them.
"You're a Maniac, Gwydion!" Tom shouted up at her.
She stood up on the broom, waving the snitch above her head.
George applauded and the Gryffindor's went crazy as she came closer to her stands.
Lionel Jordan was shocked… he pulled out some papres as the referee hissed in his ear.
"Slytherin wins."
"Huh."
"While the possession of the Snitch was being contested. A goal by Malfoy and a rebound goal by Kay Carmicheal."
"Rebound?"
"Slytherin
made two goals while… you were flying after Emily. He tossed it in there."
"The winning goal was made by the Slytherin's seeker, Kay Carmicheal."
The entire Gryffindor team glared at George Potter.
"You didn't guard the post."
"In an expert gamble, the Seeker stole the quaffle in the last pass through the hoop, making the last score double. 150 to 100, but since everyone was watching the seeker. The game continued on."
"Your Bloody seeker threw the winning goal?"
"Well I couldn't catch that snitch. The better woman did get it. We had to do something." Kay said.
"Slytherin wins. Slytherin is going onto the Quidditch Cup! With long time rivals Hufflepuff."
The exhausted players flew towards the ground.
Ellen glared at Caligula. She was able to watch. Emily was holding George Potter up.
"It just happened," Caligula protested. "I didn't mean for you to lose. You better expect us to play fair and…Well, maybe not fair, but if Emily were Balthasar, we would have hexed his broom three minutes into the game if he was that fast. I mean, she's much more of a player than he… "
She held out her hand. "Good Game, Snape."
Caligula took it, somewhat awkwardly. "Thank you?"
"You're welcome."Ellen tightened her grip.
"You're hurting my hand."
"You aren't so bad yourself. Next time, don't get distracted by your opponents."
"Matty." Nicholas ran over.
"Nick, you look horrible."
"Oh I'm sorry I hit you." Matty said "But you were vulnerable. I had to strike while you were weak. I had to win at any cost."
"Oh Matty," Nick kissed her "You're so much more hep than I ever imagined. I love when you talk like a Slytherin."
"I like it when you prove how kind and brave you really are." Matty grinned.
The couple smooched.
The couples were fawning over each other's bruises.
George pushed Em away.
"He's not so special," George sneered. "He just beat a bunch of girls."
Emily pulled herself up, "Just a bunch of girls. We played our Damnedest, and you say we're only girls. I didn't see you try to get the Snitch."
"Yeah, soak your head, Potter," Chastity grunted. "That bludger hurt."
Emily wiped off her glasses.
"That was the best game we've ever played," Mung said. "We've never had competition like that."
"The better man won, I guess," Gordon sneered.
Matty sniggered. "The only men."
"But you've got to promise that you'll let Kay and some of them play."
"I think that can be arranged," Caligula said.
The Slytherins piled on top of Kay.
"I can't believe it. I won for Slytherin," Kay squealed.
"We've got to get a new seeker. She's got a nice rebound on her." Mung laughed.
The Slytherins were crowding into the players area. Pina was going batty, hugging everyone.
"Cal, you did it. You lil bastard." Pina slugged him in the shoulder and lifted him off the ground. "Now all we have to do is beat Hufflepuff and we'll be the first Slytherin Champions in a century." She threw her arms around him and squeezed him. The two jumped up and down in the air.
Cyrille ran in. "Kay. Let me in, everybody. I'm the Seeker's boyfriend."
He tried to lift her. "Oh, my lovely warrior Goddess, so fierce, so bold."
"Oh, Cyrille Lupin, give me a big kiss, my little booger bear."
Algie made gagging sounds.
Nick arched his eyebrows. "Booger… bear?"
"Well, we won the game. Kind of," Kay said. "We had to cheat extra hard." She shrugged. "That is something else."
Mung gazed up at Chastity.
"You're awfully tall, aren't you? I didn't realize when you were on your broom."
The couple walked out of their respective corners.
"Lot of love in this room." Tom clapped his arm around his best pal.
"You kiss me, Riddle, and I'll pop you in the teeth." Cal moved his arm away.
They went off to celebrate the victory.
"Well lets go shower girls." Gordan said… "George, stay out here, while we're naked."
"Yes ma'am." George sheepishly limped into the locker room closing his eyes.
Dumbledore looked at the great mess of Slytherin and Gryffindor hugged and shaking hands.
"This was a great game."
"Ginger didn't like the noise. She doesn't like the cold either."
"Thomas. Shouldn't Ginger be inside? It's awful cold."
"I mean."
"Come inside and tell me everything. If you're in trouble you should tell us. If you're worried or anxious."
"Who should I turn to? Poppins? She's the one who started it."
***
They had returned to Dumbldore's classroom. Tom felt like such a snitch himself.
"You mean to tell me that Professor Poppins threatened to kill your familiar?"
"She said it was beyond my control."
"Of all the…"
Albus was usually an even tempered man, but now he was quite angry. He could no longer see the beauty in such a woman. Her stern eyes were nothing but ice to him. It was one thing to ignore him, but to threaten a student, to bully him, to make his life hell… What possible reason could she have?
"I will talk to Miss Poppins, Tom. You leave it to me."
That very night, while the Slytherins stayed up late to celebrate the win, he made it a point to see Miss Poppins and tell her what was on his mind.
He pounded on her door gruffly.
"You…"
"Yes, Albus, what do you want?" Poppins drawled contemptuously.
"I can handle your casual cruelty and disrespect, but I will not allow this."
"And what is this?" She motioned.
"You said that you were going to bash Tom Riddle's kitten's brain." Dumbledore looked revolted at the very thought.
"I did what?"
"You want to kill his kitten. His familiar. The only thing to offer him love and affection all that time in the orphanage. How can you even joke about something so cruel when Tom is so fragile?"
"Fragile? That boy is a lot more powerful than you can see."
"But that doesn't mean he is made of stone like you." Dumbledore pounded as fist on her desk. "His power does not make him strong. He has never had friends or family and you do this to him. We're his teachers. How could you even think it?"
"Albus. I didn't say I was going to kill his kitten."
"What do expect will happen to it if you bash its head in?"
"I like that he has a kitten," Mary stressed. "I'll buy her a saucer of cream. I like kittens. Kittens are wonderful animals."
"But you threatened to hurt him. I can't let you do that."
Mary Poppins sat down. "And I would never hurt Tom. I was warning him of the danger."
"What danger?"
"Well, there is none if it's a kitten."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Albus roared.
"It's a kitten. Not a snake, not a dragon, and not a…" she let her voice trail off. "I've said too much. Just get out of here."
"What do you mean, it's a kitten? What does that matter?"
"Albus, Tom is not a parseltongue. He cannot speak to snakes. I was afraid that a powerful serpent had found him."
"A serpent? Where would a child get a serpent in the heart of London?"
"If a child is a parseltongue, they find the child."
"Oh."
"When I was an infant I had snakes crawl up to the edge of my crib singing lullabyes. Most of them were curious. But not all of them are good animals. Many were as ancient as evil as any Dark Wizard. If a Parseltongue should be seduced by an evil serpent…"
"You were afraid he would get himself into trouble?" Albus pieced together her story.
"But you see, Tom's familiar is a cat. So we have nothing to worry about."
"You were trying to protect him from an evil serpent?" Albus said.
"Yes. Apparently he's much too sensitive." Mary dusted off her hands.
"I don't know what's going on," Dumbledore groaned.
"I just wish I knew what it was about that boy, Mary. You pick on him, you torment him, yet you almost gave your life for him. You won't let him stay in Hogwarts for the summer, but you visit St. Brutus's every year in July to check up on him. Why are you treating Tom like this? Explain yourself."
"Oh, I want to make one thing perfectly clear." Mary said to him/
"What's that?
"I never explain myself."
"You'd better. Because I'm not going to let you play these games with me anymore. Maybe you're not a- a monster like Tom says. But you are infuriating."
Mary stood up
"Albus. Do you always have to be cute, even when you are wonderful?"
"Wha?"
"I've never had such conversation with you before." She patted him on the cheek, "One that didn't end in an awkward compliment or a silly correction. I didn't think you were blessed with a personality."
"Me?"
Mary nodded.
Dumbledore added, "Well, it takes a lot to get me upset. I have a rather thick skin, if you notice."
"I'm very sure that if you stood up for yourself like this to me, you could have everything that you want. But all you did was stand up for someone else." Mary crossed her arms. "I've never met a man who could be as selfish for other people as most men are for themselves. I'm certainly selfish for myself."
"If I stood up like this all the time I'd probably get a crick in my neck. I'm rather short and fall down a lot." Dumbledore frowned.
Mary snorted.
"Mary, will you go out for dinner with me?"
"Oh, just when I think you're interesting. You never fail to be yourself." Mary sniffed. She straightened his hat. "I think you are too young for me, Albus."
"Oh."
"Albus. Fine. I will apologize to Tom if you are this angry. Next time, don't rap on my door like a bill collector and be a nuisance. Just walk in. Perhaps it will be… open."
She let the door close with a soft click.
**
Albus Dumbledore sat looking up at the sky.
"I almost had her. She was interested, and then I said something foolish. She's still a bastard. If a lady can be such a thing. Cold, cool, prim bastard."
Albus sat on the grass, looking at the clouds.
Ever since he had lost Cleo to her career, he'd never felt anything close to this. He felt he had known Mary forever.
He knew so much about her. Where she lived, how she acted, always from a distance. Where she worked in London during the summer near the St. Brutus's, where she bought her hats, what jam she liked on her raspberry tarts. He just wanted to be behind her. That was enough for him. All the other girls in his life (and they were girls, compared to her) had been so open and warm. But fickle. Mary was not. She was consistent, strong, and much more powerful than him.
He just wished she knew how wonderful she could make him feel. How horrible. How alive. He couldn't ever stay mad at her. She was just so… Mary.
Tom came walking over his patch of sky.
"Hallo Tom. Hallo Ginger."
"Ginger is not here. Professor Poppins is with her. They seem to like each other."
"You're letting her touch your kitten?" Albus asked. Just hours ago Tom had been afraid to take the creature near Mary.
"She explained it somewhat, and Ginger… Ginger trusts her."
"Well, Ginger is a very friendly cat, and not many people can speak to animals."
"I always thought she was just a teacher." Tom sighed, "I never knew she was so important."
"No. Wandless magic is one thing. But she is a parseltongue. More than a parseltongue. The animals understand her and she understands them. Dogs, cats, elephants, cows. She was always very clear."
Mary ruffled the cat's fur as she pet it.
"Professor Dumbledore. What are you doing on the Quidditch Downs?"
"I'm feeling like a failure."
"A failure. But you're amazing."
"I graduated Hogwarts at the dawn of this century. All my friends have moved beyond it. Maximillian has a family. Paul is a great hero. Even Caligula's sister has moved on. And everything I want in my life just falls apart.
"You care about people more than anyone. You've got such a good heart."
"I just wish. I know it's hard to hear. I wonder why I was placed in Gryffindor. My cousins were all brave warriors, talented mages, gifted warlocks. Was it my family? Was it all my brothers Paul, Aberforth or was it me? I'm just a teacher, Tom. I'm not anyone special."
"You're my teacher." Tom grinned and held his hand.
Albus smiled. He couldn't believe the respect and shine in Tom's eyes. He had grown into a fine young man. He could remember the dull eyed child he met on the stairs of Hogwarts. He felt so warm inside. It was enough to feel good. He would never have to go far to find purpose in his life.
He thought of all the bright happy students in his school and he felt at peace.
"I suppose life always has joy. Why am I trying so hard? To find it. If we can make ourselves happy here. Lets do it."
***
Ginger stretched out her back.
"It's the nice man. He gave me a piece of sausage."
"What do you think of Albus, Ginger cat?"
"He wants you. Why don't you let him have you?"
Mary knew she should never ask any cat for romantic advice. Lasivious things.
"I'm sure he'd give you whatever you want to eat."
"Not everything is about getting… fed."
He was rather cute. Her tastes in men were for the gangly rather than the muscled. He rather looked like a praying mantis the way he wrung his hands.
He came from the grass.
Mary knew who he was. What he was.
"Mary. Mary Poppins. Isssat you my dear?"
She rolled her eyes. The garter snake began to crawl up her leg
"I don't believe we've met." Mary shook him out of her skirt.
"No you met my friend Mouseback at a tidepool in Cardiff."
I don't know your friend. I've never met a Mouseback.
"He's my cousin. He saw you when you were getting on a vroom vroom."
"No. I don't-"
"Ye have to-"
Mary gritted her teeth "Listen, you loser. Get away from me."
Albus looked up at her. "uh. I'll just…"
"Oh."
"Albus."
"I can go-"
"I was talking to the snake. She kicked it away."
The snake began slinking away. He'd just talking to a celebrity and was going to tell all his friends.
"Albus, Inoportune as usual."
He looked at her.
"You looked odd talking to that snake. And Tom wants his Ginger back."
"Here she is. Brain intact. Healthy as can be. She's got odd sense of humour."
The cat looked at Albus."
"Are you speaking the Parsel tongue now?"
"Oh leave me be, Albus Dumbledore. Why is everyone so fascinated now? I've been this way everyday of my life. It's not important. The only ones who matter are too far away. The rest just want to meet a celebrity."
"If you're hurt, Mary, I'm here. I just want to talk to you."
"Aren't you scared of me?"
"Sure I'm scared. I spend all my time scared. I'm not a Dapper Dan or a fly boy. I'm just a nice fellow who want's to get to know you."
"Albus. I don't know, how I can talk to anyone. I don't talk about my problems. They are mine."
Albus sat down. The cat crawled into his lap.
The inhuman eyes of Mary Poppins, violet like magic, darting in the distance, in the realm of dark possibility. She lived there, everyday accessing its great power. There was no doubt that she would be capable of anything. Any dream any madness she could accept.
"What's the worse thing you ever thought about doing?"
"I thought about killing my cousin Paul once. But I was toasted and he stole my girlfriend." Albus chuckled. He might as well be honest. She did know everything.
"See everyone has darkness in them." Mary said.
"Even perfect people."
"I'm not perfect. Slytherin's blood courses through me. Even in the muggle realm I cannot escape it."
"I love people Albus. You wouldn't think that I could. But I do."
"That is why you are hard on them?"
"Oh it's not people… a person. It is big People. All the people who live and drink tea and walk about. Because it is a sad love. They are all so silly. You and me."
Albus could only do his best to understand.
Mary could get confusing at times. Her head cocked like a little dogs.
"Muggle Studies Professor. I do not think Mr. Slytherin would have approved what his ancestor is doing. But I've never cared about approval."
Albus watch Mary look out on that dying sunset almost ranting. Confused. Not the impossible woman he had tolerated but some other creature.
"I never got it."
"Mary are you alright..."
"Practically Perfect." Mary said in his face.
"I can't…"
Albus I must leave before it's too late. Before I can't do anything about it."
"About what?"
"Slytherin."
"Mary I don't understand."
"I'm going to leave. Leave Hogwarts. For People and persons."
"But what about all you're giving up here. What about that?
"Attachments, fripperies…" Mary brushed back her hair. "I never attach. If I were to now…"
"Mary."
"When the East wind comes again. I must go."
"You are leaving Hogwarts, forever?"
"It is my rule. Augury is a very nice science. The birds know better than to stick around here."
"Where will you go?"
Mary straightened herself up She pulled herself out of Albus's arms. She straightened her coat.
It's obvious. Leave it to Albus Dumbledore to miss the obvious. I'm giving up people. I'm going to the next level."
"Which is?"
"Computers."
Albus Dumbledore could not think of a solitary thing to say to that.
Mary Poppins opened her umbrella.
"I'm going to learn about punchcards and typewriters. Univacs. To the pinnacle of modern technology. Computers so powerful they can run a country. A bloody country Albus. I'm going to program computers. Well behaved honest, obedient computers.
"Well. Is that some kind of calculator?"
"Simple things like that. I can tell them everything they need to bother knowing. Things that can't get hurt. Nothing that will forget to do it's homework or spill sarsparilla over the piano."
Albus shook his head. The idea of Mary Poppins at the head of a super computer made him laugh. She probably proposed this ridiculous situation just to distract him.
"Mary."
"I think I've had my fill of magic." Mary hooked the umbrella over her arm, "It's too human."
"But you cause trouble in the Muggle world. They won't let you back."
"Rubbish."
"I've heard half the stories Mikey Banks talk about. He said you taught a cow to dance."
"I didn't. She knew already. She came to visit me."
"And you could talk to dogs."
"Dogs don't have much to say anyway." Mary tossed it off.
"And your brother is a snake." Albus tossed at her.
"The Banks are well respected squibs Albus. I did nothing but expose them to their heritage."
Albus raised one eyebrow.
"Stop staring at me like I just lied. Practically perfect people never need to lie."
The cat meowed bumped Mary towards Albus.
Albus began laughing, "I think you should mind your own personal business and get back to Tom."
"Odd cat. She is."
"Miss Poppins, Would you like something to eat? There is a lovely restaurant in town. You could get whatever you like."
Ginger raised her head and winked at Mary.
"Okay that was bizarre."
Mary accepted Professor Dumbledore's arm and returned with him inside the castle.
