"Yes, I guess it does." Hotohori stated, his miniscule time of laughter in such a bleak time past. He turned back to the window. "But in all seriousness, I want to cry too, but for some reason the tears won't come. My heart is welled up with them but they won't break free. I'm almost frightened by it."

Miaka watched him as he turned his gaze up to the constellation again. "Maybe that's Nuriko's way of telling you not to cry." Miaka clapped a hand over her mouth. //Where had that statement come from?//

"Perhaps." He looked at her awkwardly for a moment then turned away. An uncomfortable silence followed.

"Houki seems like a nice person." Miaka said after shifting uncomfortably for a minute or two.

"Yes, she is. Very."

Miaka was able to detect the small hint of sadness in his voice. Also a sudden resistance to talk about the subject. Miaka smiled. "It really is quite shaking to see someone who looks so much like Nuriko. Really it is."

"Yes. As I said, it seemed as though Nuriko's soul was trying to guide us to one another. It kept bringing us to together. I... care deeply for her."

"She cares deeply for you too." Miaka said in a sweet tone.

"Yes, I know," Hotohori's reply was grim. Miaka shifted uncomfortably as he continued. "Since she and I first met, I've been going over something continuously in my mind. And the more I think about it the more questions that come to my mind."

"Questions?" Miaka inquired with a cock of her head.

"Yes. When I thought Nuriko was a woman, there was something with in me that refused to let me think of him in a romantic way. Even I had to admit Nuriko, then known as Lady Korin, was attractive, but I could never feel anything to make me love this Korin in the manner a man is drawn to a woman. I could only see a comrade. But the first time I saw Houki I burned for her. I wanted to know her. I..." Hotohori stopped with his next train of thought as if remembering who he was speaking to. Miaka watched a blush begin to glow on his cheeks and spread to his whole face.

Miaka couldn't help but giggle. "You what?" she prompted.

"I, ah..." he stumbled the blush deepening.

"You what?" she teased.

"I wanted her." he squeaked out embarrassed. "I didn't know why. But somehow I also feel that Nuriko wanted it to be that way."

"She doesn't just look like him, you know." Miaka replied. "She also sorta acts like him in some ways."

"I know, it seems as though all of Nuriko's feminine aspects are with in her yet fused with her own individual personality. Which makes me wonder..." Hotohori shifted as if uncomfortable with his next thought. "If Nuriko had truly been a woman, truly been Lady Korin, would she have been my Empress instead of Houki...? Would Korin have been the mother of my child?"

"Child?" Miaka repeated shocked.

"She did not tell you? I figured in your little talk together that she would have. Houki is pregnant."

Miaka's eyes bugged out. "Man, that was quick..." she mumbled. "You go Hotohori!"

"What?" Hotohori asked having not clearly heard her, and what he did hear he didn't understand. //Where does she want me to go?//

"Oh nothing!" Miaka said taking on an innocent air.

"Oh..." was Hotohori's simple reply as he looked at her suspiciously out of the corner of his eye, then he concentrated harder on the stars above. "Do you think if Nuriko had really been a woman... that he would have... she would have died?" Hotohori asked more to the heavens above than to Miaka. Before Miaka could answer he went on, "But there's no use dwelling on it, is there?" he looked over and spotted a glimmer around Miaka's wrists. "Are those Nuriko's bracelets?"

"Yes. You should have seen them when they changed. They were beautiful." Miaka said looking at them sparkle under the night's sky. She took them off and set them on the ledge of the window.

"Like him..." Hotohori stated taking the bracelets and moving them through his fingers thoughtfully. Miaka looked at him peculiarly. That seemed like a strange comment coming from the Emperor she knew. Another silence followed.

"Hotohori?" Miaka began nervously. She had wanted to ask him this from the beginning. "Does Houki know... how you feel about me? Or used to?"

Hotohori tensed up again. "Yes, she knows that I'm in love with you."

"So you still are? I thought maybe Houki..."

"No Miaka, I could never forget you that easily. I care deeply for Houki but I still love you." Hotohori said turning to look at her, sorrow written in his eyes. He looked down them back up again. " Tomorrow we go into battle. You should rest. Besides, Tamahome is probably looking for you."

"Yes..." Miaka knew a dismissal when she heard one. Hotohori clearly wanted her to go. In a way, she was glad. She didn't like how uncomfortable the atmosphere suddenly got. "I'll go see what he's up to. I'll see you later then."

Hotohori nodded regally and turned away. When he heard her footsteps fade he raised his eyes to the heavens again. He stared at Nuriko's constellation thoughtfully. Suddenly he felt something wet slide down his cheek. //So Nuriko, NOW you'll let me cry for you. Thank you for saving Miaka this sight.// Houki was another subject that plagued his thoughts and was another reason he cried. He wanted to love her. He knew she was caught in the same trap as he. Fated to be in love with someone who didn't return their affections. He cared deeply for her, was overwhelmingly attracted to her, but nothing more. Houki had seemed so understanding of his feelings for Miaka, and he knew without a doubt she was Nuriko's last gift to him. His gift to save Hotohori from the loneliness that he'd always known. Nuriko's gift... //Nuriko, you just had to take care of everybody, didn't you? Even me. Even at your own expense. I will cherish your gift. Your last gift. The most special one of all the gifts I have ever received.// Hotohori sighed deeply caught by the alien convulsions that were forming tears in his chest.

He didn't want Houki to suffer in the same way that he did. To be in love with someone who could not or refused to return your feelings. He would try harder. He would love her- be IN love with her. But... He almost choked on his next thought. What if he died first though? Who knew what tomorrow's battle held in store for him? Or the day of battle after that, or the next, each day turning in an endless circle with that question hanging on his lips until this forsaken war is over. Everyone's destiny was uncertain. But truly, what if he died before he could honestly say that he loved Houki? What then? Suddenly a look of profound defiant determination glowed on his face. Even if he had to overcome the passages of death itself to do it, he made his mind up to love her fully, and the child in her belly unconditionally.

He wanted Miaka to be happy. She was with Tamahome now, so he was sure she would be. No, he knew she would be. It was long past due for him to begin to let go of her. He knew he couldn't force himself not to be in love with Miaka, but that wasn't what was needed, right? He just needed to make room in his heart for Houki. He would love her in the way a wife deserved to be loved. He wouldn't fall into the same trap his father had. Taking numerous wives, helpless women that had no choice but to marry him, because he was the Emperor, then tiring of them easily after the best years of their lives had gone, and the first signs of aging began to show. He wouldn't do that to Houki. Houki had come to love him as a man, not as the Emperor, not as a celestial warrior. But him.

He knew Nuriko led them to each other. Which was why he felt even more pained by his death. He never had a chance to thank him. He had lost in Nuriko not only a good friend and confidant, but also his possible savior from the trap of loneliness that always accompanied his royal position. //I can not be there to say it in person, but truthfully, thank you Nuriko."

Hotohori turned and stared down the black hall that Miaka had disappeared in. //I vow I will love her Nuriko, just as you would have wanted me to. But your right I have to let go of Miaka.// He looked up at the stars then at the bracelets that he still held in his hands. For some reason, Miaka left them behind. He would have to return them. //Until I see you again Nuriko...// He looked ahead and with a melancholy tone muttered," Be happy with Tamahome Miaka. Nuriko and Miaka- sayonara to both of you... friend and priestess."

He clutched the bracelets painfully tighter, holding his eyes shut as he felt more tears fall from his eyes. "Sayonara."

~Finish~